Playin’ Smooth, Smooth Jazz! with Nick Kroll | 8

Summary

'Tis The Grinch Holiday Podcast: Episode 8 - "Playin’ Smooth, Smooth Jazz! with Nick Kroll"

Release Date: December 16, 2024
Host: James Austin Johnson as The Grinch
Guest: Nick Kroll
Produced by: Wondery

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Introduction

In the festive yet mischievous ambiance of Whoville, The Grinch welcomes acclaimed comedian and actor Nick Kroll to the "'Tis The Grinch Holiday Podcast." The episode seamlessly blends celebrity interviews with an ongoing Christmas mystery, maintaining the show's signature charm and wit.

---

Pre-Interview Banter

The episode kicks off with The Grinch engaging in a playful pre-interview session with Nick Kroll, setting a light-hearted tone.

• Grinch: "Do you swear to tell the whole truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truest of the truth Truth?" [00:48]
• Nick Kroll: "True." [00:52]
• Grinch: "If you saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, why would..." [01:01]
• Nick Kroll: "I would wish them the best. I want everyone to just be able to find love." [01:04]

This segment showcases the chemistry between the host and guest, filled with humorous exchanges and teasing.

---

Interview with Nick Kroll

The heart of the episode focuses on Nick Kroll's latest project, the Christmas blockbuster Red One, and his vibrant career.

Discussion on "Red One":

• Grinch: "Red One is actually about the kidnapping of Santa Claus. Is that true?" [12:35]
• Kroll: "It is, very much. That's why I wanted to come on here. I felt like you would be a really receptive audience to this." [12:47]
• Grinch: "If J.K. Simmons were Santa, I kind of am wondering what that would sound like. And I'm thinking, yeah, that it would sound a little bit like this..." [13:15]

Nick elaborates on his role in Red One, portraying a gripping narrative where Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson leads Santa's Secret Service against rising threats to Christmas.

Big Mouth Insights:

• Grinch: "You have a very inappropriate Netflix series called Big Mouth that is heading into its Eighth and final season." [14:36]
• Kroll: "We did call you, but your agents said you were always too busy being, frankly, a Grinch." [15:08]
• Grinch: "I want to be asked. I want to drag it to the trash can." [15:20]

They delve into Nick's extensive work on Big Mouth, discussing his extensive voice acting and the show's cultural impact.

Emotional Exchange:

A heartfelt moment arises as The Grinch and Nick discuss personal struggles and the essence of love during the holidays.

• Grinch: "Maybe I take it for granted, you know? Maybe this Christmas stuff, there's parts of it that are good..." [19:20]
• Kroll: "Yeah. You're angry with your chiropractor and you're transferring it to Christmas." [19:35]
• Grinch: "Dear Santa, this is the Grinch. I'm interviewing the guy who was 19th on the call sheet for Red One, and he said that I should ask for a hug for Christmas..." [20:28]
• Kroll: "I think that's what we need around the holidays, especially after the year we've had and, yeah, everything that's gone down. I think what we need is love." [21:02]

This segment highlights the underlying themes of redemption and the importance of love, aligning with the festive spirit.

---

The Grinch's Investigation: Journey to the North Pole

Transitioning from the interview, the podcast returns to its primary narrative—the mystery of the missing letters to Santa.

Accusations and Investigation:

• Grinch: "Your boy Grinchy has been accused of murder. Well, the attempted murder of Christmas, that is. They say I stole Santa's letters." [22:04]
• Narration: The Grinch and his loyal dog Max venture to the North Pole, disguised as a nutcracker and a reindeer in training, respectively.

Encounter with Vika Ortiz:

At the North Pole Post Office, The Grinch confronts Vika Ortiz, the Postmaster General, uncovering deep-seated resentment.

• Grinch: "I came up here because I'm just dying to know the ins and outs of how the WHO United States Postal Service works. Would you indulge my dog and I?" [25:04]
• Vika Ortiz: "We keep a very organized tracking system of all letters to Santa that come in... Boring and uneventful, and certainly not entertaining for your little DIY Podcast." [26:06]
• Grinch: "If you oversee how letters get into the North Pole, who's in charge of how they get mailed out?" [26:30]
• Vika Ortiz: "Same process, but reversed... It's a tough job, but it's my honorable duty to the residents of Whoville." [26:51]

Revelation and Confrontation:

Vika Ortiz's demeanor shifts as she reveals her true identity and motive.

• Vika Ortiz: "It's me, little Gretchen Glee, who dreamed of being a ballerina, only to have her ballerina music box destroyed by a belligerent green man in a Santa outfit." [28:08]
• Grinch: "Grinch. It's Grinch. Literally nobody else has this name or looks like me." [25:16]
• Vika Ortiz: "After that fateful night, I didn't want to be a ballerina anymore. I made it my mission to give myself the greatest Christmas gift of revenge on you, Mr. Grinch." [28:34]

This confrontation unveils the antagonist behind the missing letters, adding depth to the ongoing mystery.

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Conclusion and Escape

With Vika Ortiz’s true intentions unveiled, chaos ensues.

• Grinch: "Attention, gingerbread security force. We need all rounded cookie hands on deck. We have cold gumdrop. Repeat code Gumdrop." [29:22]
• Grinch: "Come on, Max, let's get out of here." [29:30]

The Grinch and Max narrowly escape the North Pole, setting the stage for future episodes where listeners can aid in solving the Christmas caper.

---

Notable Quotes

• Grinch on Warm Weather Christmas:
  "Warm weather Christmas is weird. Christmas lights on palm trees, Santa in a tank top. Ho ho ho." [03:57]

• Nick Kroll on Christmas Music Repetition:
  "All of a sudden, around Christmas time, you can't go into a public space without hearing Ella Fitzgerald or Louis Armstrong. It feels like it takes away the thing that is special to me." [17:05]

• Emotional Appeal:
  "I think what we need is love." [21:02]

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Final Thoughts

Episode 8 masterfully intertwines celebrity insights with the whimsical and mysterious world of Whoville. Nick Kroll's appearance not only promotes his latest ventures but also enriches the narrative, highlighting themes of redemption, love, and the true spirit of Christmas. As The Grinch delves deeper into the mystery of the missing letters to Santa, listeners are left eagerly anticipating the next installment in this enchanting holiday saga.

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Stay Tuned:
For those eager to unravel the full mystery, subscribe to Wondery+ and join Cindy Lou and Max in their exclusive Christmas investigations. Don’t miss out on additional ad-free content by visiting the Wondery App or your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

[James Austin Johnson]

Wondery plus subscribers can listen to every episode of Tis the Grinch holiday podcast ad free. Join Wondery to get exclusive Christmas mystery bonus content. Start your free trial in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Nick Kroll]

Wondery.

[James Austin Johnson]

Hey, everybody, it's the Grinch. And we have a really special guest here today. It's Nick Kroll. So let's just. Hey, Nikki, how you doing?

[Nick Kroll]

Good.

[James Austin Johnson]

How are you?

[Nick Kroll]

How are you, Grinch?

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, I'm pretty good. I'm doing pretty good today, buddy. Are you finding everything okay in here?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, it's been awesome. Thanks so much.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yeah. Just before we start, I just wanted to do this little pre interview, just get a couple quick questions, if that's okay. Does that matter to you?

[Nick Kroll]

Of course. Yeah. Thrilled.

[James Austin Johnson]

Do you swear to tell the whole truth, the whole truth, and nothing about the truth, or the half truth and nothing but the truest of the truth Truth.

[Nick Kroll]

True.

[James Austin Johnson]

That you're allergic to shellfish? Yes or no?

[Nick Kroll]

Yes.

[James Austin Johnson]

Well, that's not what I heard.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, okay. Well, I mean, you should tell my face that when it eats shellfish and turns bright red and swollen.

[James Austin Johnson]

If you saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, why would.

[Nick Kroll]

I would wish them the best. I want everyone to just be able to find love.

[James Austin Johnson]

Was Grandma run over by a reindeer or was that somebody's alibi?

[Nick Kroll]

First of all, I just want to say Grandma did not look both ways before she crossed the street. And that, I think, is left out of the story.

[James Austin Johnson]

It's your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet.

[Nick Kroll]

I accept it.

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay, you're watching television. Suddenly you realize there's a wasp crawling on your arm.

[Nick Kroll]

I asked them if they still belong to a country club or if all the money has gone away.

[James Austin Johnson]

Do you believe that Arby's has the meats? If not, who took them?

[Nick Kroll]

I think it's Ving Rhames.

[James Austin Johnson]

Ironically, I think Ving Rhames took the meets. This is gonna be fun.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, I think we're gonna have fun. I'm really excited. I was a little nervous cause you're quite an intimidating character. But I feel like we've had some good chemistry here in this pre interview, and I think it'll be fun.

[James Austin Johnson]

Whoa. All right, let's save it for the interview. Hey, parents. Tis the Granch Holiday Podcast is pleased to have Alexa as our presenting sponsor. This season and every season, Alexa and the Echo Dot Kids Smart speaker are helping children learn and explore. While along the way, from Wondry and Dr. Seuss, overlooking beautiful downtown Whoville. Beautiful is in quotation marks from high atop Mount Crumpet Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. Tonight's special guest, he's the big mouth behind Big Mouth. And you can see him in the Christmas blockbuster Red One, in theaters and available to stream on Prime Video. Now. Funny man Nick, Rick Karol. Plus, she's the raws to his Frasier. Look it up, kids. Cindy Lou who. And did he get all his shots? We think so. It's Max the dog. Now here he is, permanent grump and the man around this dump, it's the Grinch. Hello, hello, Grinch here. Thank you very much. Long winded, yet very effective announcer guy. He is good, I gotta admit it. And I am good, too, at ranting, raving and misbehaving. So let's start with some ranting. Hold onto your seats. Keep on your pants. The Grinch is going on one of his rants. Whether or not you happen to live on a snowflake, that's where Whoville is. Try to keep up with the lore. I'm sure you'll agree that this time of year is all about winter. It's all about being cold and shivery and Jack Frost nipping at your sniveling, disgusting nose. So you know what's crazy? That I just found out that a lot of people do Christmas in warm weather. AC blowing on the Christmas tree, blah. Santa Claus at the mall wearing shorts. Cover those thighs, man.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Well, Mr. Grinch, the holiday season isn't just for snowy weather. For instance, we have listeners in Australia where right now it's summer.

[James Austin Johnson]

Well, that's just crazy. Almost as crazy as you talking to me mid rant. I mean, Christmas in Samadaranda. What's next, Abaday in Antarctica? What do you guys do in Australia? Put reindeer antlers on the koalas and kangaroos? I'll tell you one thing, Max does not like to wear a decorative headband. Don't worry, buddy. No whimsical headbands today. I mean, a kangaroo? How would you get antlers on that thing? He'd probably square up and punch you right in the face. Those dudes are ripped. I've seen the videos on Hootube. Those hoppy herbivores are always looking for a fight. G'day, matey. Let's see what I have in me pouch for you. Oh, look, it's a punch in the nose. I digress, I confess. But I do possess the opinion that warm weather Christmas is just a weird thing to comprehend. First of all, you can't have eggnog when it's hot outside. Gross. Second, of all, instead of gathering around the fire, do families read twice the night before Christmas around the grill? It's too weird. Plus, all the real Christmas songs are about winter. Maybe it's cold outside. Walking in a winter wonderland. White Christmas. What good songs ever came out of warm weather Christmases? Melee Kalikimaka, please. I actually like that song. Hold on. What am I saying? Warm weather Christmas is weird. Christmas lights on palm trees, Santa in a tank top. Ho ho ho. Bra wreaths made out of pineapples and bananas. I don't like it. But Cindy, let's give a very, very warm welcome and happy holidays to our fans and listeners in Australia wishing you a doubly doobly didgeridoodly merry G'day holiday Christmas. A rooty down under with candy canes, dingos and shrimp side the barbie. Now all this talk of hot Christmas gives me a hot idea.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Excellent transition, Mr. Grinch.

[James Austin Johnson]

Thank you, Cindy. And since we have some beloved listeners in warm weather climates, just for them, I've created some new warm weather Christmas characters. Cindy helped with these too. Pretty exciting for you, Cindy. A writing credit.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

I know. I've always wanted to be a professional writer and cookie baker and panda wrangler and pottery maker and cook.

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay, let's start now. Oh, this is a good character. What do you think of this one? Rudolph the white nosed lifeguard?

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Like he's a reindeer, but he works at the beach and he has sunscreen on his nose.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, don't overthink it. What do you got? Give me another new warm weather Christmas character. Hit me.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Um, what about Frosty?

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

The puddle.

[James Austin Johnson]

That's good. Yeah. Oh, okay, that's good. Yeah. That one's a thinker. Oh no, he melted. Kind of edgy for you, Sid. Okay, okay, here's mine. Instead of the little drummer boy, what about the little summer boy, huh? Like, instead of playing his dopey little drum, maybe he just plays Frisbee.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Oh, guess that would make him a pahrumpa bum beach bum. Nice. Okay, Mr. Grinch, I got a question for ya. Do you know who people hope shows up on hot Christmas?

[James Austin Johnson]

Uh, who?

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Jack Frosty Beveridge.

[James Austin Johnson]

Love it. You need that guy. He's not nipping at your nose. He's nipping at your parched lips with a Frosty Bev. But definitely not a frost. Because these are warm weather Christmas characters.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Yeah, I think people get it.

[James Austin Johnson]

I mean, you're gonna be thirsty on hot Christmas. So, you know. Okay, here's one more. Close your eyes and imagine Summer Grinch. It's me, but, like, my fur's been trimmed way down. It's like a buzz cut and with.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Maybe like some frosted tips.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, that's hot. Now we're talking. Good one, Sandy Lou. Can you imagine me, the Grinch, rocking vintage JT vibes? What do you think? Should I say bye bye bye to my green locks? Max, put those down. No, no. I was just daydreaming. Folks, we'll be right back. I have a dog using an appliance I need to take care of.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Max.

[James Austin Johnson]

Down, dead boy. Get him. Max. Max. Hey, everyone, it's James Austin Johnson. I play the Grinch here on Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast is pleased to have Alexa as our presenting sponsor. The holidays are a glorious time of year. But listen, parents, between you and I, they can be so stressful, too. Shopping for food, decor, presents. And while kiddos often do their best to be little helpers, sometimes they can cause a tad more chaos than intended. But worry not. I know just how they can channel that spunky holiday energy. Something that's all the rage for who's of a young age is the Echo Dot Kids. It's a cute, smart speaker with Alexa, and it's made just for kids. Echo Kids can help foster children's independence by allowing them to learn and explore. Kids can ask Alexa to play music, read a bedtime story, get help with their homework, and so much more. Say you want to make sure your kids brush their teeth so they don't end up with termites in their smiles. Or make sure they go to bed on time. Alexa can establish those routines through daily task reminders. Echo Kids even filters out explicit music so kids can always be ready to sing and dance along to their favorites. Like perhaps a song about a very handsome furry green fella. Huh? It's the coolest device for children, both big and small. So trust me when I say the Echo Kids is here to help them do it. All shop the Device now at Amazon.comechokids hey, parents. It's me, James Austin Johnson, host of Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. The holidays are a time to indulge in the classics. We've grown up loving classic movies, music, and the most fun classic games. Games are a great way to get the whole family together. In fact, the Pokemon trading card game is sure to bring that holiday cheer. And it can be enjoyed by families and friends year after year. Passing down childhood traditions to the next generation is a lot of fun. I mean, how exciting will it be to bond over mewtwo's psychic prowess or share how Pokemon can evolve from a cute Charmander to a fiery flying Charizard. If you don't already know how to play, no worries. Because it only takes minutes to learn. You can start battling it out in the amount of time it takes to listen to me sing the show's theme song. And Pokemon cards are not only fun to play with, they're also fun to collect. They come in a variety of cool and captivating styles created by different artists, so there's something for every aesthetic. Find gift ideas for all ages and at every price [e-mail] holiday hey grownups. The Nintendo Switch System is the gift that brings family and friends together this holiday season, whether you're at home or on the road. That's because Nintendo Switch has familiar faces like Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Bowser in games for your holiday moments. Start your engines. The race is about to begin with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Get together and find out who has what it takes to win first place on Rainbow Road or embark on a wonder filled adventure in Super Mario Bros. Wonder, where the only thing to expect is the unexpected. Like Mario turning into an elephant. Huh? Want to get the whole family in on the party? Super Mario Party Jamboree is packed with game boards and minigames even Grandma and Grandpa will love. It's all on Nintendo Switch, the home of Mario and friends. Additional accessories may be required for multiplayer mode games systems and some accessories sold separately. Games rated E for everyone. You're a monster, Mr. Grinch youh heart's an empty hole, your brain is full of spiders. You got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole. My guest tonight is here hawking a new Christmas movie. Like we need another one of those. But he took time out of his very important A list schedule to trudge up to the top of Mount Crumpet to hop on the pod. As they say, you know him from big mouth and oh, hello. And now you can see him in Red one in theaters and available for streaming now on Pride Video. Please welcome Nick Kroll.

[Nick Kroll]

Hi.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh my God.

[Nick Kroll]

How are you?

[James Austin Johnson]

Nick Kroll. Beautiful, Nikki, how are you?

[Nick Kroll]

I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to be here on the pod.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, it's so wonderful to have you. You know, when my team told me Nick Kroll was promoting a new blockbuster Christmas movie, I was like, who else we got? But then they told me Red One is actually about the kidnapping of Santa Claus. Is that true?

[Nick Kroll]

It is, very much. That's why I wanted to come on here. I felt like you would be a really receptive audience to this.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yeah, I would probably be one of those guys that like, camps.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Outside the theater.

[Nick Kroll]

Would you do that? Do you have a comfy chair? Do you have like a whole setup? And do you bring the dog? What's the story?

[James Austin Johnson]

I have a uncomfy chair. I have a chair that used to be comfy. I have a little bit of a spine issue.

[Nick Kroll]

Right. When I've seen photos or video of you and I'm a fan, I'm going to say that up top. I'm a fan.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Because it's not just a perfect. See your spine, it's not sort of a classic curve. There is sort of back and forth. There's definitely sort of a Picasso vibe.

[James Austin Johnson]

That's what my chiropractor said.

[Nick Kroll]

Yes.

[James Austin Johnson]

We were looking at an X ray.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Because I was like, I'm having some back pain. And he's like, it's zigging and zagging all over the place.

[Nick Kroll]

Sure.

[James Austin Johnson]

You are an impressions guy, right? You do impressions?

[Nick Kroll]

I mean, I do. Can I explain Red One, before we get into my deep well of impressions?

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay, we're going to come back to that. All right. I'm putting a pen in that. Circling it with red. Okay. Red one.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay. Circling back to that. So the movie Red One is about Santa. The focus of the movie is on Dwayne the Rock Johnson, who is the head of Santa's Secret Service. Oh, Santa is played by J.K. simmons. He is cool Santa. He's ripped.

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay. So if J.K. simmons were Santa, I kind of am wondering what that would sound like. And I'm kind of thinking, yeah, that it would sound a little bit like this.

[Nick Kroll]

Uh huh.

[James Austin Johnson]

At Farmers Insurance, there's nothing that Santa hasn't seen. Okay. There's nothing that you can show me that I haven't put in my bag.

[Nick Kroll]

Bop it up. Uh, yes, I think that's what it would sound like.

[James Austin Johnson]

So he's ripped.

[Nick Kroll]

He's ripped and he's about to go out for his night. And Dwayne the Rock Johnson is feeling like there are too many people on the naughty list. He's kind of lost faith in Christmas. Now, is that something that you could relate to or.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yeah, that's kind of hitting a lot of my stuff. Yeah, I would say that I'm very interested. You have a very inappropriate Netflix series called Big Mouth that is heading into its Eighth and final season. Oh, no, Say it isn't so. And over that time, you voiced 79 different characters. You know, you could have just called me. You didn't have to hoard all the voice work for yourself. Okay, Big mouth. More like big ego. All right. Why wasn't I called?

[Nick Kroll]

We did call you, but your agents said you were always too busy being, frankly, a Grinch.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, which agent? Was it Justin or Justin? Or was it Justin?

[Nick Kroll]

It was Justin.

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, no, it was Justin.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

But I want to be asked.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

I want to get the offer.

[Nick Kroll]

Sure.

[James Austin Johnson]

And then I want to drag it to the trash can.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, we have finished voicing and animating the season, but I'm wondering, Grinch.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Would you like to be one of the hormone monsters on Big Mac?

[James Austin Johnson]

I mean, I think I would love to do that. You know, such like parents. Parental discretion is advised. This is after the kids go to bed style stuff, right? I mean, it is, right?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, for sure.

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay. Hey, here's a Hanukkah question.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Did playing Gunter the pig in the Sing movies affect the way people look at you when you walk into shul?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. The fact that I played a German pig, how did that feel as a young Jewish boy? It was a dream come true. Playing Gunter was a joy. Continues to be a joy. He sort of sounds like this. Why don't we do the whole interview like this? Why have I been talking as Nick Kroll when all the kiddies out there listening to this podcast would much be happier talking to Granta?

[James Austin Johnson]

You're doing a German accent, but I don't know that there's ever been a German person in history with that pitch.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, I mean, there's the pitch and then there's just the bounciness to it. And I will say, when you watch those movies, he moves like, I wish I danced as well as Gunter dances.

[James Austin Johnson]

Now you're a world class kvetcher, as we saw on Broadway in Oh, hello.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Is there anything about the holiday season you'd like to kvetch about? Am I saying that right? Kvetch.

[Nick Kroll]

You said it perfectly. Grinch.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

There's certain non Jews who love comedy, have a deep understanding of Jewish nomenclature on a way. And I would say say the Grinch has this. John Mulaney has this. Who I star know hello with John Mulaney, an Irish Catholic guy from Chicago, but has a deep love and understanding of Jewish colloquialisms and pronunciations.

[James Austin Johnson]

I mean, I'm interviewing Rabbi Schmuly after this. So the Floor is yours. What makes you the most grinchy this time of year?

[Nick Kroll]

Well, I love El Fitzgerald. Genuinely love the music of El Fitzgerald. I love Louie. I love kind of broad jazz. I think of myself sort of as cool, that I've got my niche, that that's the music I like to listen to. But all of a sudden, around Christmas time, you can't go into a public space without hearing Ella Fitzgerald or Louis Armstrong. And it feels like it takes away the thing that is special to me. Like, I'm at the Grove in Los Angeles.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yes.

[Nick Kroll]

I go to Barnes and Noble, I check out the books I like, and then I order them off Amazon.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yes.

[Nick Kroll]

And you can't walk five feet without hearing Al Fitzgerald at the Grove.

[James Austin Johnson]

Well, it's a Caruso mall. I mean, you're gonna hear Ella Fitzgerald, you're gonna hear Josh Groban. You know, there's a certain playlist.

[Nick Kroll]

First of all, the weather outside is rarely frightful. I mean, I think maybe she was predicting climate change.

[James Austin Johnson]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

You know what I mean? That's really what that song is about, is like just hurricanes and thinking about.

[James Austin Johnson]

The weather is frightful.

[Nick Kroll]

Yes. But it doesn't snow in Los Angeles. So I'm a little grinchy about the fact that the seasons don't change. And so you're, like, walking around and it's like 65 degrees out, and there's no real sense of it. And so you see all the sort of decorations, but it just doesn't quite feel like the holiday.

[James Austin Johnson]

You know, you feel left out. You feel like. Feel like Christmas has passed you by.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

And you just want a little slice of Christmas. You're in west la. You just want some Christmas.

[Nick Kroll]

That's it.

[James Austin Johnson]

They won't give it to you.

[Nick Kroll]

They won't give it to you. You okay? Are you all right?

[James Austin Johnson]

Cringe.

[Nick Kroll]

There seems to be some chest cavity palpitations happening. Is everything okay?

[James Austin Johnson]

Just slap my back real quick. Okay. I think that did it. Oh, my gosh. Nick. It's not even about the heart. It's about this weird little headache I get right after. Ugh.

[Nick Kroll]

Is it like a migraine?

[James Austin Johnson]

Yeah. Cindy, get me a Fiji.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Okay.

[James Austin Johnson]

One of the room temp ones. That's not in the fridge. On top of the mini fridge. Mr. Grinch, you have nails. Rip open the plastic.

[Nick Kroll]

Are you feeling better?

[James Austin Johnson]

I'm feeling better.

[Nick Kroll]

Growing up, you know, I was a Jewish kid, we never celebrated Christmas. And my wife is not Jewish, and we have kids. And so now we get to do Christmas. And I do Christmas with her family. And it's really delightful.

[James Austin Johnson]

Really?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

See, I have Christmas thrust upon me on a near constant basis.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Maybe I take it for granted, you know?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Maybe this Christmas stuff, there's parts of it that are good, obviously. You know, maybe I'm just kind of blowing it out of proportion. And I'm taking these problems that I have probably with my chiropractor really is what it's about, right? Everything's transference.

[Nick Kroll]

Yes.

[James Austin Johnson]

I talk about this with my therapist a lot.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. You're angry with your chiropractor and you're transferring it to Christmas.

[James Austin Johnson]

I'm angry about my spine problems. I'm angry about the delivery guys can never get up to the top of Mount Crumpet, so they have to send a drone. And, you know, my anti drone cannon takes it down and then I don't have toilet paper for a week. You know, I'm blaming all my problems with Christmas. You know, there are things that I could fix in my life.

[Nick Kroll]

That's all anybody wants.

[James Austin Johnson]

It's like, oh, no.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, no.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay. Your chest is glowing. Wow.

[James Austin Johnson]

Help me out here, Nick. Just grab me in a bear hug. Like, pretend you're a straight jacket.

[Nick Kroll]

I got you. I'm not letting go.

[James Austin Johnson]

All right, now kind of shake me like some Yahtzee dice.

[Nick Kroll]

I'm going to shake you around. There we go. Maybe you just need some hugs, man. Maybe you just need a little hugs.

[James Austin Johnson]

How do you put that in a letter to Santa? How do I put the Grinch needs a hug in a letter to Santa after all that I've been through with the guy.

[Nick Kroll]

Can I tell you how you do it? How can you take out a piece of paper and a pen? How you do it is you just start writing.

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay, here we go. All right. Dear Santa, this is Nick Kroll. Crap, I already messed it up. Now start over.

[Nick Kroll]

You gotta forgive yourself if you're gonna ever forgive Sant.

[James Austin Johnson]

Dear Santa, this is a Grinch. I'm interviewing the guy who was 19th on the call sheet for red one, and he said that I should ask for a hug for Christmas. So that's what I'm doing. Love.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Or best. What would you put at the end of this Best?

[Nick Kroll]

I think love. I think that's what we need around the holidays, especially after the year we've had and, yeah, everything that's gone down. I think what we need is love.

[James Austin Johnson]

Okay. Love. Gr. I mean, I feel good.

[Nick Kroll]

There's gonna be some aftershocks, buddy. There are gonna be some aftershock tears. It's like You've just released a lot. I really did, and I gotta say, you're sitting up straighter.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, really?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Can you tell that I'm 6 4? Like, is it reading?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

So what's the deal? Are you planning to spend Christmas here with me in Whoville? Yeah. Because the last flight out of Whoville leaves in six minutes.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[James Austin Johnson]

Do you like hot water?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, I love hot water.

[James Austin Johnson]

All right, let's get a couple hot water. Send a. Put the kettle on. Okay. Nothing to mix with them. That interview was actually enjoyable for once. Ah, who am I kidding? It was worse than the time I had paper cuts between all my toes. Let's move on to bigger and better things.

[Vika Ortiz]

This is a prepaid call from the.

[James Austin Johnson]

Whoville Penitentiary from wondering and my beautiful but twisted mind. This is cereal, spelled with a C, like the breakfast food. The mystery of Whoville's missing letters to Santa, told week by week while I eat my breakfast. I was sick of cereal today, so I went with a classic. Mmm. That's the stuff. Green eggs and ham. Working man's breakfast. Now, as you all know, your boy Grinchy has been accused of murder. Well, the attempted murder of Christmas, that is. They say I stole Santa's letters. And if I haven't just been trying my DAR to, you know, prove it wasn't me so I don't have to live the rest of my days in prison trading toothpaste for table salt and a decent haircut. Anywho, we tracked one of the missing letters to Santa to none other than the North Pole. Cue North Pole transition. Cindy. Okay, pod people, I'm whispering because Max and I are here at the. Here at the. Here at the North Pole. It's gross to even say. It really is the worst place on earth. Everywhere you turn, there's cozy little hot chocolate cafes or cutesy toy makers workshop. And it smells like fresh baked cookies. Yuck. Anyway, we're in disguise. I'm dressed as a ridiculous yet hunky nutcracker, and Max is cosplaying as a reindeer in training. Cindy, where's your getup?

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Oh, I must have forgotten mine. I'll catch up with you guys in a bit.

[James Austin Johnson]

That wasn't sudden and abrupt at all. Oh, good catch, Max. The North Pole Post Office. If anybody would know who sent bail from the North Pole to Mount Crumpet, it'd be them. Let's head inside. Okay. It is very low energy in here. No employees, drab decor, P. Yellow walls. My kind of place. Oh, there's the Postmaster General's office. We know her. Remember, Max? We called her when we first started our investigation. She didn't know who I was. Rude. But I'm sure she'll put a name to the face once she sees me.

[Vika Ortiz]

That better be my venti. Low fat, high sugar, no whip, ice, hot chocolate. Well, where's my drink?

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, no, I'm not a traveling barista. It's me, the Grinch. The Grinch? You still don't know who I am? I mean, I'm like, the only green guy in this whole universe, you know? Okay, I'm kind of offended right now. I'm not gonna lie. I'm here because I received a letter. I mean, I came up here because I'm just dying to know the ins and outs of how the WHO United States Postal Service, works. Would you indulge my dog and I?

[Nick Kroll]

Hmm.

[Vika Ortiz]

Nobody ever wants to know how stuff gets to them. They just want their stuff. Sure, I'll do your interview, Mr. Finch.

[James Austin Johnson]

Grinch. It's Grinch. Literally nobody else has this name or looks like me.

[Vika Ortiz]

Whatever you say, blintz, but make it quick. It's a busy time of year for me.

[James Austin Johnson]

All right, Max, mic her up. Also, you may want to shut off that busted ballerina thing you got playing there. May ruin the audio.

[Vika Ortiz]

Not a problem. But before we start, Oksana, get in here.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, that's a three inch tall gingerbread woman menacingly walking over behind your desk.

[Nick Kroll]

I am Oksana, head of Gingerbread security force for the North Pole Post Office.

[James Austin Johnson]

Oh, wow. Was not expecting that voice to come out of that thing. Guess you should never judge a cookie by its cover. Anywho, Postmaster Glee, can you explain the delivery process for children's letters getting to Santa?

[Vika Ortiz]

We keep a very organized tracking system of all letters to Santa that come in. I personally organize the letters by Naughty and Nice. Then from there, I have a detailed method of keeping them in order, by date received, alphabetized by last name and which part of the world they were mailed from.

[James Austin Johnson]

See?

[Vika Ortiz]

Boring and uneventful, and certainly not entertaining for your little DIY Podcast.

[James Austin Johnson]

What? Hey, just because you got mic'd up by a dog doesn't make us diy, all right? Have some respect and at least call us a freak show. Pardon if I'm being rude, but. But it doesn't look like you have many employees here. If you oversee how letters get into the North Pole, who's in charge of how they get mailed out?

[Vika Ortiz]

Same process, but reversed. I personally see every letter that goes out of the North Pole. I know exactly where each one is going, and make sure it gets there on time. It's a tough job, but it's my honorable duty to the residents of Whoville.

[James Austin Johnson]

So you're the one who checks them in and sends them out and just you.

[Vika Ortiz]

Correct.

[James Austin Johnson]

So you'd know exactly how this letter got from your post office to my home in Mount Crumpit.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Slide.

[Vika Ortiz]

Oh, this is. How strange.

[James Austin Johnson]

How could that.

[Vika Ortiz]

One of the missing letters. Can you excuse me for a moment?

[James Austin Johnson]

Max, did you see that? She looked guiltier than a possum next to an overturned trash can. What's that noise coming from behind the door? She's shredding the letter. Hey, that's the only piece of evidence we have, lady.

[Vika Ortiz]

Well, congratulations. You've found me out, Mr. Grinch.

[James Austin Johnson]

Say, I knew you remembered my name.

[Vika Ortiz]

Oh, I remember more than just your name. Do you remember all those years ago when you tried to steal Christmas? Christmas Grinch?

[James Austin Johnson]

Uh, are you kidding me? It's kind of the whole reason I'm doing this podcast, babe.

[Vika Ortiz]

You were so close to achieving your goal, but your heart wouldn't let you so much, so it grew three sizes bigger.

[James Austin Johnson]

Are you seriously cardio shaming me right now?

[Vika Ortiz]

So, realizing the error of your ways, what did you do, Grinch? You returned everyone's stolen gifts and saved Christmas for everybody. While everybody except one little who girl that received a broken gift under her Christmas tree.

[James Austin Johnson]

Kind of feel like you're building up to you being the little girl in this story. But I don't really want to assume.

[Vika Ortiz]

Of course, it was me, little Gretchen Glee, who dreamed of being a ballerina, only to have her ballerina music box destroyed by a belligerent green man in a Santa outfit.

[James Austin Johnson]

Hate to interrupt, but that thing on your desk is making noise again.

[Vika Ortiz]

I know it is. That's the music box you broke all those years ago. After that fateful night, I didn't want to be a ballerina anymore. I made it my mission to give myself the greatest Christmas gift of revenge on you, Mr. Grinch. And I'm not gonna let your little investigation get in my way. Oksana, detain them.

[James Austin Johnson]

Wait a second. I'm sure we can work something out. Attention, gingerbread security force. We need all rounded cookie hands on deck. We have cold gumdrop. Repeat code Gumdrop. Oh, no, don't do that. There's already a warrant for my arrest in the North Pole from back in the 60s. Come on, Max, let's get out of here. Cindy, where are you, girl? I'm making a run for it. Might as well run the credits too. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot poll and they really make them that long Go off kings. How about some orchid? Yeah, that's not okay. Wrap it up if you like Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. You can listen ad free and unlock even more Christmas mystery bonus content by listening on wplus. Join Wondery plus in the Wondery app Spotify or on Apple Podcast Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[Anjuli Kudupadeni]

Tis the Grinch holiday Podcast is a production of Wondery and Dr. Seuss Enterprises starring James Austin Johnson as the Grinch with Anjuli Kudupadeni as Cindy Lou who? And Anthony Otamanik as the announcer. Featuring voice acting by Vika Ortiz, Jamie Cooper and Nikki Palumbo. Ancillary voices generated using 11 labs. This episode was written by Dan Cronin and Joe Redling Schaefer our sound designer is Jamie Cooper with additional sound design by Kelly Kramarek. Music supervision by Scott Velasquez for Frizz on Sync. Senior producers are Adam Azeroth and Jennifer Klein Walker. Our coordinating producers are Sierra Franco and Mariah Gossett. Sarah Mathis is our managing producer and Callum Plews is our senior manage producer. Audio assembly by Daniel Gonzalez. Carlos Hernandez is our audio engineer and Adrian Tapia is our Studio manager. Executive produced by Susan Brandt for Dr. Seuss Enterprises. Executive producers are Lauren Dee, Dave Easton, Andrew Goldstein and Marsha Louie for Wondry.