To Dad From Dad Podcast – Episode 5

Title: Before You Have Kids, Hear This From a Newlywed
Host: Lee Wallace
Guest: Ty
Date: January 25, 2026

Episode Overview

In this unique episode, host Lee Wallace turns the usual reflective format forward, inviting newlywed Ty to share his thoughts on marriage, the anticipation of fatherhood, building traditions, and the generational skills he hopes to pass down. Rather than look back as a father, Ty explores the groundwork being laid before having children—how he and his wife Bailey are preparing, what advice has shaped him, and the values he wants to carry forward. The conversation is warm, insightful, and full of both humor and real-life wisdom, offering a heartfelt window into this pivotal stage of life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Launching the Podcast & Their Friendship

• Lee and Ty discuss their friendship and Ty’s role as an early motivator for the podcast.
  • Ty recounts giving Lee a motivational push:

    “If you're prepared to tell your daughters that's the reason you didn't chase your dreams, then that's cool.” (01:07)

2. Ty’s Epic Wedding Surprise

• Ty shares the story of secretly learning piano to play “La Vie en Rose” at his wedding as a surprise for Bailey.
  • The story illustrates intentional effort and setting a high bar in marriage.
  • Memorable moment:

    “I messed up several times... but thankfully, she was crying, so it gave me an out.” (06:00)
    “At that day, she felt like the most important woman in the world. That was the goal.” (07:28)

  • Lee reflects on how surrounding yourself with people who challenge you makes you better (07:00).

3. Early Marriage Realities & Advice

• Combining lives, not drastic changes
  • Ty notes that, pre-kids, marriage is “the same, if not better” (09:07), advising couples to shut out unsolicited negativities.
• Most impactful advice from Bailey’s father:
  • Don’t go broke buying a ring:

    “You can always get a bigger one later.” (11:06)

  • All success outside marriage is “noise”:

    “The only thing that matters is you and her.” (11:08)

• Personal Priority Shift:
  • Ty now sets “keep being married” as his top annual goal (12:21).

4. Intentional Traditions Before Kids

• Bailey and Ty focus on building their own traditions—especially around Christmas—before starting a family.
  • Creating a sense of “home” and establishing couple-centered rituals (13:29, 14:12).
• Advice from married friends:
  • “Take a year and do all the things you want to do before kids—travel, experience, don’t stress about money. The time won’t come back.” (15:23, 15:57)

5. Stoicism, Faith, and Fear of Death

• Impact of stoicism and Memento Mori:
  • Ty would periodically journal “Should I die early?” messages for loved ones—befriending the idea of death (18:44, 19:13).
• Perspective shift after marriage:
  • “I never feared death until I fell in love with my wife.” (19:43)
  • Both discuss the shift from their own mortality to fear of missing out on family life and supporting their wives and children (20:10).
• Discussion on how stoicism and faith aren’t mutually exclusive:
  • “I don’t view those two schools of thought as mutually exclusive.” (23:35)
• The Chinese Farmer Parable and Assigning Value:

  “The principle there is that these things will happen to you in life, but we get to decide whether or not there's good or bad connotation.” (25:16)

6. Anticipating Fatherhood: Hopes and Concerns

• Excitement is around mentorship, legacy, and raising resilient kids:
  • “I love the idea of being able to take lessons learned the hard way and ... look out for your kids.” (26:49)
• Not concerned about ‘not knowing what to do’ – leans on research and friends:
  • “I'm going to buy all the books… I will never hesitate to phone a friend.” (28:23, 30:34)

7. Parental Approach: What to Do and What Not to Do

• Doesn’t want to be an overbearing or helicopter parent:
  • “It’ll be hard but I think it’s really important to let them make mistakes.” (31:50)
• Influenced by his own upbringing—treated as an adult early, values direct conversation (32:19 onward).
• Memorable Lee quote about childhood:

  “I could tell you, as a dad... they do everything so fast. You watch them run across concrete… You’re on pins and needles all the time.” (36:15)

8. Technology and Parenting

• Wants to minimize screens—but recognizes the challenge:
  • “It’s a way easier said than done thing. But the kid doesn’t learn how to be around adults.” (39:27)
  • “It wouldn’t surprise me if… they’re like, you should probably minimize some of this stuff.” (40:15)
• Lee’s take:

  “I want to protect my kids’ childhood… their default is to go play outside.” (41:15)

9. Reflecting on How They Were Raised

• Ty’s parents balanced work and home—Dad coached, Mom ran the household (43:39).
• Memorable story: Grandma lobbying for more sports playtime:

  “He’s not good… I can’t do that to the other kids.” (44:23)

10. Lessons from Parents & Giving Grace

• Biggest thing to do differently:
  • Ty struggles to find faults—main notice is how well they shielded the kids from adult worries (46:29).
• Favorite Dad memory:
  • Golf lesson where his dad’s advice led to a rare on-course success—highlighting the power of small, supportive moments (48:06).
• Giving mom more grace for being “stern”:
  • “You can either be friends with your kids when they're young or when they're old.” (50:08)

11. Readiness for Kids & Committing Without “Anchors”

• No material anchors are holding them back:
  • “There's nothing that we're waiting on. And it feels good to not have any of those anchors.” (54:16)
• Lee’s pediatrician’s advice:
  • “Happy, smart, healthy parents raise happy, healthy, intelligent children. It’s not more complicated.” (58:35)
• Culture in the home matters most:

  “Your kids live in the culture that you create.” (59:01)

12. Future Reflection & Generational Wisdom

• Advice to future self:
  • “I hope you became the person you were meant to become.” (60:59)
• Lee’s reflection:

  “Remember that in the moment, you did the best you had with what you knew at the time. And as you reflect, give yourself grace.” (62:25)

• Passing down skills is more important than just wealth:
  • “What can I learn and test… and condense that down so that my children and grandchildren can at least get to that point sooner than I did?” (68:06)
• Real-life example:
  • Story of solving a tractor/trailer problem at a ranch, crediting skills learned from his dad as a teen (70:20)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On starting the podcast:

  “If you're prepared to tell your daughters that's the reason you didn't chase your dreams, then that's cool.” – Ty (01:07)

• On prioritizing marriage:

  “Keep being married is the number one goal.” – Ty (12:30)

• On wealth versus wisdom:

  “Generational wealth is great… But how do I get these skills in a way I can then consolidate and pass that down?” – Ty (66:37)

• On love shifting perspective:

  “I never feared death until I fell in love with my wife.” – Ty (19:43)

• On giving loved ones grace:

  “You can either be friends with your kids when they're young or when they're old.” – Ty, quoting his mom (50:08)

• On advice to future self:

  “I hope you became the person you were meant to become.” – Ty (60:59)

• On the best time for kids:

  “Everybody I've talked to, especially younger dads, they're like, there is nothing that's going to prepare you perfectly, so just do it.” – Ty (57:11)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:42] Ty’s wedding story and learning piano as a surprise
• [08:39] Most surprising thing about marriage; advice from Bailey’s dad
• [13:29] Establishing couple traditions before children
• [18:44] On stoicism, journaling “Should I Die Early?”
• [19:43] Marriage shifted his attitude toward mortality
• [25:08] The Chinese Farmer Parable and perspective on ‘good’ and ‘bad’
• [26:49] Anticipation and hopes about being a dad
• [31:50] What kind of father Ty doesn’t want to be
• [39:27] Approaching technology and screen time for kids
• [43:39] How Ty was raised; dad’s work-life balance
• [48:06] Favorite memory—golf bonding with his dad
• [50:08] “Friends with your kids when they're young or when they're old”
• [54:16] Deciding when to have kids—anchoring vs. just doing
• [62:25] Advice to future self; giving yourself grace
• [66:37] The importance of passing down skills, not just money
• [70:20] Applying childhood skills in adulthood

Takeaways & Reflections

• Marriage before kids is a powerful time for intentional tradition-building.
• Being surrounded by people who push you is critical in life and marriage.
• The best parental advice is often simple but deeply impactful.
• Stoic philosophy can coexist with faith and amplify one’s reflection on life’s big transitions.
• Small moments with parents become cherished memories.
• Preparing for parenthood is less about external readiness and more about intentionality, openness to help, and building a foundation of skills and traditions.
• Documenting and passing down life skills is a profound form of generational wealth.

This episode offers a refreshing look at preparing for fatherhood—one shaped by love, mentorship, and a genuine curiosity for doing things well. Ty’s openness about where he is now, what he’s learned, and how he wants to be as a future father will resonate whether you’re a dad, future dad, or simply someone invested in living and loving well.