To Dad From Dad – Episode 9 Summary
“When Control Fails: What Anxiety in Our Kids Is Teaching Us as Fathers”
Host: Lee Wallace | Guest: Craig
Release Date: February 22, 2026

Episode Overview

In this deep and candid episode, Lee Wallace sits down with his friend and fellow dad Craig to discuss navigating the uncertainties of fatherhood—particularly when it comes to issues of control, anxiety (both their own and their kids'), and lessons learned from imperfect experiences. The conversation weaves through technology use in parenting, memorable moments of childhood and fatherhood, mental health, and the importance of presence, resilience, and embracing both pain and joy. Craig shares stories from his work as a pastor and his family life, and the two men explore what it means to shepherd their children through a world that looks very different from the one they grew up in.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Daddy-Daughter Dance, Nostalgia & Change

• Both share bittersweet experiences at a recent Daddy-Daughter dance—one last time for Lee's daughter (Kenna).
• Emotional realization: growing up shifts the dynamic (“dancing with a fifth grader was different than dancing with a fourth grader”—Lee, 02:15).
• The playlist and generational gaps spark laughs and poignant moments.

2. Season of Life: Introducing Craig

• Background: Married 18 years, two children (Grayson, 13; Charlie, 11), pastor and professor, director for church multiplication.
• Dualities of busyness and joy: “Although I'm the busiest I think I've ever been in my life, I feel the most joy at the end of the day.”—Craig (10:43)
• Parenting is “a challenge of figuring out the current season just in time for the next season to kind of kick in and change.” (11:16)

3. Technology’s Impact on Kids and Parenting

• Both reflect on how parents today are “pioneers” in understanding technology’s effects on children—comparing it to early perceptions of cigarettes: “Cigarettes at one time were supposed to cure your cough...turns out they kill you.” —Lee (13:33)
• Craig’s family chooses to delay smartphones until age 16 (contrary to social pressure), finding it “so challenging on the social front” but worth it for mental health.
  • “He mentions that every time he comes home... he is the only kid without a cell phone.” —Craig (14:38)
  • Exploring trade-offs of social exclusion vs. digital risks.
• Mention of “The Anxious Generation” book—linking increased anxiety among youth to the inception of the iPhone (17:23).
• Mindful restriction of technology in the home—introducing things like a shared “house phone” on Wi-Fi for kid activity use (21:24).
• Trade-offs, respect for other families’ choices, and the importance of open dialogue about boundaries, both with your children and with other parents.

4. Balancing Innocence and Experience

• The difficulty of exposing kids to the world without making them “ignorant.”
  • “How do I protect my child's innocence while not making my child ignorant?” —Craig (27:25)
• Honest, age-appropriate conversations about sensitive topics (e.g., “birds and the bees”) to preempt misinformation and foster trust.
• Using car rides for tough talks due to the opportunity for privacy and focus (29:43).

5. Nostalgia, Play, and the Power of Presence

• Reminiscing about outdoor play and the value of unstructured, creative, and often “risky” childhood experiences.
  • “If you've never tried to ride a bike and carry a fishing pole at the same time, you haven't lived.” —Lee (35:55)
• Contrast with today’s digital distractions (Minecraft, Roblox, etc.) and how parents can foster similar adventurous spirits in new ways.
• The importance of intentional availability—saying “yes” to children’s spontaneous ideas, even if less convenient (40:33).

6. Battling Anxiety in Ourselves and Our Kids

• Both fathers struggle with anxious, detail-oriented firstborn daughters.
• “Logic doesn’t work” in the throes of their anxiety (71:56), but after-action reflection helps: “Do you remember how worried you were about that? Everything turned out okay.” —Lee (72:58)
• Recognizing when anxiety is inherited or modeled—Craig: “I am an overprocessor...confident the worst of those things will happen.” (73:42)
• Sharing coping tools: writing “open loops” (unresolved items) helps reduce mental load and manage anxiety (82:57).
• Not all problems can be fixed in the moment—presence, patience, and process matter most.

7. Resilience, Reflection & “Stacking Stones”

• Kids look to parents in crisis: “How am I handling the situation in a way that is giving them confidence for the next?” —Craig (59:39)
• The mindset that “when things go wrong, the adventure begins” (60:22).
• Handling adversity: “It is very possible that the worst thing that happens to you today is the best thing that ever happens to you in your life.” —Lee (93:01)
• The biblical metaphor of raising an “Ebenezer” (remembrance stone) for trials survived, both for oneself and as a testimony for others (96:16–99:54).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This isn't about being perfect. It's about being present.” —Lee (00:14)
• “Technology is ambivalent...dependent upon how it's being used.” —Craig (15:14)
• “As a parent, how do I balance that? …I hope we're making the right decision, but ultimately, we don't know.” —Craig (16:32)
• “We have taken outdoor activities and limited them for our kids, but with technology we just say 'play anywhere.' It's probably backwards of what we should do.” —Craig (19:53)
• “We're going to test our insurance, but I'm glad you're doing this.” (about kids risking play outdoors) —Craig (43:48)
• “When things go wrong, the adventure begins... now we have a problem to solve.” —Lee (60:22)
• “No matter what happens to me, I do have that responsibility... how I will receive this and then evidence what my belief truly is by my response.” —Craig (64:22)
• “Practicing presence—when you're washing the dishes, just say to yourself, 'no, I'm washing the dishes right now. That's what I'm doing.'” —Lee (51:12)
• “Ambition without action becomes anxiety.” —Lee (80:18)
• “I'm a better husband, I'm a better dad, I'm a better pastor because of what we walked through.” —Craig (90:22)
• “God made scars for two reasons: to remind you, and as a physical representation to others of what you've been through.” —Lee (95:04)
• “What I need whenever I'm mourning is someone who can mourn with me...when I'm rejoicing is someone who can rejoice with me.” —Craig (97:13)
• “Let's assume the best that dad was trying his best. Even in those moments I did see, there’s still the effort my dad put in.” —Craig (70:44)

Important Timestamps

• [00:14] Introduction & Purpose of Podcast
• [01:41] Reflections from the Daddy-Daughter dance
• [06:42] Craig’s Background and Current Season
• [13:01] Generational shift in parenting—tech, “pioneers” and “AI age”
• [14:38] Withholding phones: social costs, protective rationale
• [17:23] “The Anxious Generation” & anxiety’s technology correlations
• [21:24] House phone hack & tech boundaries in family life
• [27:25] Innocence vs. ignorance, the challenge of exposure
• [29:43] Birds and bees talk—using car rides
• [35:55] Nostalgia & “being a kid”—difference in play then vs. now
• [59:47] Modeling resilience for children in moments of adversity
• [71:47] Parenting an anxious child—what doesn’t work, what sometimes helps
• [80:18] Ambition, open loops, and resolving daily anxieties
• [90:29] Advice to younger self: “be prepared for what’s coming”—adversity yields growth
• [95:04] Meaning of scars & the value of sharing experiences
• [96:16] “Stacking stones”: remembering and commemorating adversity

Section: Advice for Dads and Takeaways

• You’ll never fully “figure out” a parenting season before it begins to change—be adaptable and gentle with yourself.
• Decide your family’s technology boundaries thoughtfully; respect other families’ choices, but don’t sacrifice your own values for convenience or social norms.
• Talking honestly with kids about uncomfortable or “adult” topics builds trust and reduces their isolation and ignorance.
• Your composure in adversity—big or small—is one of the strongest teaching tools for your children’s sense of security.
• Anxious kids may need more process and after-the-fact reflection than logic in the moment; model healthy coping strategies and patience.
• Preserving “kid time”—outdoor, nonscripted, slightly risky—requires parental effort and encouragement, but pays lifelong dividends.
• Scars tell stories; be open about the hard lessons, not just the highlights. It helps others, and yourself, heal.

Closing Thoughts

This episode is a must-listen for dads seeking camaraderie, honesty, and practical wisdom about the messiness and wonder of fatherhood—especially if you struggle with anxiety (your own or your kids'), technology dilemmas, or simply want to know you’re not alone in failing and trying anew. As Lee says, “This isn't about being perfect. It's about being present”—a refrain that echoes throughout this rich and relatable conversation.

For questions, guest suggestions, or to share your story: visit todadfromdad.com or email lee@t odadfromdad.com. To help spread the word, share the episode and subscribe on YouTube.