A Court of Wings and Ruin (ACOTAR Book 3) PART 2 - Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500

Summary5 min read

Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 Episode: A Court of Wings and Ruin (ACOTAR Book 3) PART 2
Release Date: November 26, 2024

Introduction

In this episode of Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500, the husband and wife duo dive deep into Sarah J. Maas's A Court of Wings and Ruin, the third book in the A Court of Thorns and Roses series. As they navigate through the complex narrative, they offer a blend of plot summary, character analysis, and personal insights, all while maintaining their signature humorous banter.

Plot Summary

Part Two of the Discussion Begins ([03:02])

Host 1 initiates the conversation by expressing initial frustrations with Part One of the book, setting the stage for a more engaged and action-packed discussion moving forward.

Introducing Nepheli and the Battle in the Library ([05:14] - [07:29])

The hosts recount the introduction of Nepheli, a lesbian Seraphim cartographer with lopsided wings, showcasing her bravery by saving Miriam from an impending attack. Host 1 highlights Nepheli's unexpected prowess, noting:

"Nepheli had lopsided wings and wasn't really good at flying...[she] swoops in and saves Miriam... she's the Star Wars zip zop of the Story." ([06:00])

Conflict Escalates with Hybern's Agents ([11:04] - [15:07])

As tensions rise, Hybern's agents infiltrate the library, leading to intense confrontations involving spells and strategic moves. Host 2 humorously likens the situation to a horror movie, emphasizing the chaos:

"They're like, Oh shit. And they're trying to kill you." ([11:04])

High Lord Meetings and Betrayals ([23:50] - [29:36])

The narrative shifts to the intricate dynamics among the High Lords, including Thessen, Helion, and Baron. Host 1 critiques the characters' motivations and interactions, particularly focusing on Tamlin's betrayal and Baron's antagonistic nature:

"Baron is just a dickhead. I'm picturing him as an 80s movie jock bad guy." ([29:07])

Final Battles and Alliances ([55:37] - [87:54])

The hosts delve into the climactic battles between Hybern's forces and the united High Lords. Notable moments include Amren's sacrifice and the strategic alliances formed to repel the invaders. Host 1 describes the intensity of the battles:

"This is a battle really well written. She's good at action." ([55:45])

Climactic Showdowns and Resolutions ([88:43] - [99:16])

As the war reaches its peak, key characters make pivotal decisions. Nesta confronts Cassian, leading to her exuding newfound strength, while Feyre faces her true self through the Ouroboros mirror. Hosts express mixed emotions about the character developments and plot twists:

"I hated 80% of this book... but there's stuff I liked." ([102:20])

Conclusion of the Book's Main Events ([101:04] - [101:17])

The episode winds down with the final battles and the aftermath, where characters reflect on their losses and victories. Host 1 shares a poignant moment:

"I teared up a little bit when it happened because I was like, yeah, save your girls." ([88:33])

Character Analysis

Throughout the episode, the hosts provide candid assessments of the characters:

Feyre Archeron: Struggles with her role in battles but grows stronger through her experiences.

"Feyre can't stand marching forward to death... she does defensive fighting." ([56:07])
Nesta Archeron: Exhibits significant character growth, moving from antagonism to leadership.

"Nesta rules." ([93:52])
Amren: Makes the ultimate sacrifice, highlighting themes of loyalty and duty.

"Amren takes a step back and jumps into the cauldron..." ([94:24])
Tamlin: Portrayed as a complex antagonist whose actions have long-reaching consequences.

"Tamlin is a genocidal maniac." ([18:43])
High Lords: Each High Lord brings unique strengths and flaws to the collective effort against Hybern, with Host 1 offering vivid descriptions that reflect their personalities and roles in the war.

Host Discussions and Insights

The hosts interject their personal opinions and humor throughout the recap, providing a relatable and entertaining perspective:

On Nepheli's Abilities:

"She's the Star Wars zip zop of the story." ([06:03])
On High Lords' Dynamics:

"Baron is just a dickhead... an 80s movie jock bad guy." ([29:07])
On Battle Descriptions:

"She's good at action... I want to say, like, 80,000 dudes versus, like, 200,000 dudes." ([84:55])
On Character Relationships:

"She's a 20-year-old girl who has never had a real friend... this book sucks." ([75:06])
On Representation:

"Representation matters. She saw herself..." ([77:34])

The hosts also address themes such as sexual violence, betrayal, and sacrifices, offering critical viewpoints on how these elements are portrayed in the book.

Insights and Analysis

Themes of Sacrifice and Redemption:

The episode emphasizes the recurring themes of sacrifice and redemption, particularly through characters like Amren and Nesta. Host 1 reflects on Amren's ultimate sacrifice:

"Amren jumps into the cauldron... she turns into starlight and dissipates." ([95:29])

Complex Relationships:

Hosts discuss the intricate relationships and alliances, noting the evolution of characters like Morrigan and her connection with Helion:

"Morrigan fucks Helion loudly all night... weird and gross." ([21:31])

Psychological Depth:

The podcast delves into the psychological complexities of the characters, especially Feyre's internal struggles and Nesta's transformation from a spoiled brat to a formidable leader.

Conclusion

In this comprehensive recap of A Court of Wings and Ruin Part 2, Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 offers listeners a detailed walkthrough of the book's pivotal moments, intertwined with genuine reactions and critiques from the hosts. While they laud Sarah J. Maas for her action sequences and character development, they also express frustrations with certain plot devices and character decisions. Overall, the episode serves as both a guide and a critical lens through which fans can engage with the complex world of ACOTAR.

Notable Quotes:

Host 1 on Ambiance:

"Sexy fairies with big bat wings, please carry me away." ([26:04], [90:24])
Host 2 on Book Reception:

"I really didn't care about the... she was... no, I'm only here for one of those." ([102:17])
Host 1 on Representation:

"Representation matters. She saw herself." ([77:34])

Disclaimer: Portions of this summary include direct quotes from the podcast hosts, attributed with their respective timestamps. This summary aims to encapsulate the essence of the episode while providing an engaging overview for both listeners and those unfamiliar with the podcast.

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Transcript1,054 lines

[00:01]
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[00:29]
Podcast Host 1
CT mobile.com welcome to Too Many Tabs Part 2. That's right, this is the cold open of the thing you've already been listening to. We're bringing it back in. We're still going hard in the same recording session where we're talking all about a court of wings and ruin. And this is the part two of the full length discussion. Spoiler filled review screaming at us.
[00:55]
Podcast Host 2
I don't know what this is, but we're having a good time.
[00:58]
Podcast Host 1
We're having a time that's definitely a thing. We'll decide at the end whether or not but it's been good. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs.
[01:17]
Podcast Host 2
Open it.
[01:20]
Podcast Host 1
Too many tabs. Remember to smile. Mrs. P. We're back.
[01:29]
Podcast Host 2
We're here.
[01:30]
Podcast Host 1
Quick announcements just for everybody. In case you forgot while listening to the first one. Number one, obviously, as always, join us on Patreon promania500.net But number two, this is our big episode for this week.
[01:40]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, we're just releasing our Sunday episode early this week.
[01:43]
Podcast Host 1
Our Sunday episodes coming out a few days early just for everybody. So that way you have this for your travels and your fun and all those different things. And if you want to check out any of our special Patreon podcasts like the Warmup, which we will be back with next week, or vibing out with the food moron, Mrs. P's new project.
[02:01]
Podcast Host 2
I want you to know about that.
[02:01]
Podcast Host 1
One, which this week is all about deviled eggs and you can get the deviled egg recipe for free at pearlmania500.net but if you want to hear the audio description of Mrs. Pearl Mania. Explaining to me in insane detail, but.
[02:16]
Podcast Host 2
Fun detail, not crazy Excel spreadsheet detail.
[02:19]
Podcast Host 1
Ah, I don't know. It felt pretty wildly Excel spreadsheet Y to me. I mean, you weren't the one on the other side of it. Mrs. That's the thing is I was on the other side of it, just taking it.
[02:32]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. Taking those deviled eggs right to the face.
[02:33]
Podcast Host 1
Taking it right to the face.
[02:34]
Podcast Host 2
Which is what's gonna happen on Thursday when I have to make you an entire tray so you don't eat all of them before.
[02:38]
Podcast Host 1
And I'm gonna eat them. I'm gonna be like, eat them like Homer Simpson in hell with the donut conveyor. But with all that being said, we are nearing quickly running out of time with our daycare. So we are going to go right in to the episode now and we're gonna pick off right where we left off in the middle of book two of part two. Part two of book three of a corner.
[03:02]
Podcast Host 2
The part that's getting good. We're getting good. You said.
[03:04]
Podcast Host 1
Listen, this. I want to just before we get started. I hated everything about part one. Everything I read to you guys was so just filled with nuance and annoyance. But from here on out, we're fighting, we're fucking. We're fairies. We're getting it all together.
[03:20]
Podcast Host 2
Let's go.
[03:21]
Podcast Host 1
We'll be right back.
[03:22]
T-Mobile Representative
If you love your phone but not your carrier, just switch to T Mobile. You can keep your phone, keep your number and we'll help pay it off up to $800 per line. You can also use our savings calculator to compare our plans and streaming benefits against Verizon and AT&T. So switch and keep your phone, keep your number and keep more of your moolah. @t mobile.com up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card.
[03:44]
Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device. Credit service ported 90 plus days with device into eligible carrier and timely after Required card has no cash access and expires in six months.
[03:54]
Podcast Host 1
Fairies. Fairies.
[03:57]
Podcast Host 2
Vampires too.
[03:59]
Podcast Host 1
Vampires too.
[04:01]
Podcast Host 2
Sometimes the dragons there.
[04:03]
Podcast Host 1
And they're all in the new. All in the new.
[04:08]
Podcast Host 2
Sometimes there's a dinosaur.
[04:12]
Podcast Host 1
Sometimes it's for fail more. Sometimes it's just a tiny girl with a shadow daddy rocking her world. Fairies bugging fairies railing all day. Sexy fairies with big bat wings. Please carry me away. Yeah, that's right, we're back. And I. I turned the camera back on because I had to lip sync the end of that. I just. I felt it in my bones. And speaking of bones, let's bone Carver, let's do a full recap of the last episode. No, I know. No, it's fine. So Amira's telling you at the end of last episode.
[04:53]
Podcast Host 2
Lesbians.
[04:53]
Podcast Host 1
Yes. This is how we're gonna introduce lesbians into the story.
[04:57]
Podcast Host 2
I'm in.
[04:57]
Podcast Host 1
Okay, so the way they do it is. Remember how I was telling you how Feyre is trying to fly and she keeps crashing?
[05:03]
Podcast Host 2
Terrible flying. Yeah.
[05:04]
Podcast Host 1
And she's having a lesson with Azriel, and she's like, I'm just not getting it. I'm just not getting it. And Azriel tells her the story of a lesbian Seraphim cartographer named Nepheli.
[05:13]
Podcast Host 2
You just said so many things.
[05:15]
Podcast Host 1
I know I did. That's what this show is. It's just me saying so many fucking things. So he tells story back in the war, in the pre times. Remember the big war, before the Wall.
[05:24]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[05:25]
Podcast Host 1
Okay. Miriam had a hot, sexy Miriam. Hot, sexy Miriam had a person in her retinue name. You know, like, in her. Her crew.
[05:35]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[05:36]
Podcast Host 1
Okay, her crew, in her little army, there was a Fae named Nepheli. Now, Nepheli was a Seraphim, which is like an angel Fae. So instead of having bat wings, like Cassian, Azriel and Rhys. And they have white bird wings.
[05:50]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. Like angels.
[05:51]
Podcast Host 1
Like angels. Like a Seraphim angel.
[05:54]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[05:54]
Podcast Host 1
Like, it's almost like she just straight up took the angel name and used it.
[05:56]
Podcast Host 2
She really did.
[05:57]
Podcast Host 1
Anyway, Nepheli had lopsided wings.
[06:01]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, no.
[06:02]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, because you know how. What happens?
[06:03]
Podcast Host 2
Finding Nemo.
[06:04]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. So she had lopsided wings and wasn't really good at flying. Okay. And there's this whole scene where Miriam. They're fleeing from somebody attacking them. I can't remember who. Maybe it was the King of Hybern. Maybe it was Jury, and I don't remember. They're fleeing and they have to. They part a river. A river or ocean or something. They part a big body of water. They do Moses, okay? They do Moses, Exodus. And Miriam is caught in the back, okay? And Nepheli's like, the spell's about to break and the water's about to come crushing through. And so Nepheli flies in. Or Nephel. I don't know how to pronounce it. She flies in, even though she's never been able to fly before, and swoops in and saves Miriam and, like, does this crazy bank thing, like flying along the ocean floor. She has to stay low enough that she isn't shot out of the sky. But High enough that she doesn't crash into all the random stuff that's on the ocean floor.
[06:56]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[06:57]
Podcast Host 1
And she's able to. And she gets the other end, and she saves her. And it's like this amazing. It's like, incredible piloting. You know what I mean? Like, she's the.
[07:05]
Podcast Host 2
It sounds like the Star wars thing where there's zip, zop and the kids.
[07:07]
Podcast Host 1
Yes, it's 100% that. It's 100% that. But it's impressive because, you know, she shouldn't be able to do that.
[07:13]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[07:13]
Podcast Host 1
And so he explains this whole story to her, and he says that. And at the end, by the way, she saves Miriam. Nefeli saves Miriam. And they keep saying, and her lover is looking for it, Nepheli's lover. And then when she lands, her lover immediately asks her to marry her. And now they're. Now they're mates.
[07:30]
Podcast Host 2
I don't love that they're using the word lover.
[07:32]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. They just kept saying they never. Because they never named Nepheli's lover. They don't give her a name. They just say, you know, her lesbian. Like, basically. And it's this whole thing. And then they said, that's the reason why Rice Rhys and Cassian and Asriel adopted the Nefele philosophy, which is that your greatest weakness can sometimes be your biggest strength, and that the most unlikely person can alter the course of history. Which I'm like, that's not really a philosophy.
[07:56]
Podcast Host 2
That's just how you live your life.
[07:57]
Podcast Host 1
But it's also just like, yeah, duh, Anything can happen is your philosophy. Anything can happen is your philosophy.
[08:03]
Podcast Host 2
A hakuna matata means no worries for.
[08:07]
Podcast Host 1
The rest of your days.
[08:09]
Podcast Host 2
Hey, my uncle killed my dad. What if you didn't worry about it? How about that?
[08:13]
Podcast Host 1
Hey, Hakuna matata. But, yeah, and they're like. He also says, like, back on the island or wherever they are, they have an annual race every year. They have, like, the Nefeli race of, like, who can. Like, you know, the same way people do a marathon. And it was this whole thing, and it, like, inspires her. And then she starts racing. She starts trying better not flying better, but she just keeps trying.
[08:34]
Podcast Host 2
Gotta keep trying.
[08:35]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. So Elise is still talking crazy. Remember Elise?
[08:38]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. She's talking.
[08:39]
Podcast Host 1
Sorry, Elaine.
[08:39]
Podcast Host 2
Elaine. She talks. She's got a profit.
[08:43]
Podcast Host 1
So she is still. She's just. She's doing that, like, toddler babble. Just a blah, blah, blah, blah, saying all sorts of weird about ravens and a withered hand and stone.
[08:52]
Podcast Host 2
And this is Prophecy?
[08:53]
Podcast Host 1
No, they're just like, wow, that's fucking weird.
[08:55]
Podcast Host 2
That's crazy.
[08:56]
Podcast Host 1
So Feyre and Nesta decide to go to the library. And they're like, we're still going to look for more. Maybe we can figure out a cure for Elaine. Or maybe like, they're just like, we'll go to the library. Because you know what? They have questions.
[09:07]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[09:07]
Podcast Host 1
And when you have questions, let me look directly in the camera. When you have questions, go to the library.
[09:11]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[09:12]
Podcast Host 1
Don't go to Google.
[09:13]
Podcast Host 2
No Google.
[09:14]
Podcast Host 1
Google's all AI lies now.
[09:15]
Podcast Host 2
Bullshit.
[09:16]
Podcast Host 1
Go to the library.
[09:17]
Podcast Host 2
Ask a librarian. Yeah, they probably have a master's degree.
[09:20]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. In how to answer your fucking question.
[09:22]
Podcast Host 2
Literally the whole degree. Or at least pointing answer or get you the right book that has the.
[09:26]
Podcast Host 1
Answer or point you in the right direction.
[09:28]
Podcast Host 2
Oh my God.
[09:29]
Podcast Host 1
So anyway, the library. And as they're walking on the library, Nest is like, feyre, I didn't know you couldn't read.
[09:34]
Podcast Host 2
And like, yo, what sick bird.
[09:37]
Podcast Host 1
No, she is. Because like, the thing is, is Nesta like doesn't until like this.
[09:41]
Podcast Host 2
Also, like, how shitty of an older sister are you that you didn't know your other sister could read?
[09:44]
Podcast Host 1
The thing is like, they never took into account of how much Feyre sacrificed for them. Like, of like cuz like their mom died when she was young and the mom, if you remember their dying mom was like, yeah, you know what? Like you take care of them, Feyre. And Feyre's like, what the fuck? And then mom died.
[10:02]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[10:02]
Podcast Host 1
And so now they're like kind of stuck in this like thing. Yeah, that makes sense.
[10:06]
Podcast Host 2
They're. They're spoiled brats.
[10:08]
Podcast Host 1
They're spoiled brats.
[10:09]
Podcast Host 2
Now they are whining about their problems.
[10:12]
Podcast Host 1
Mm.
[10:13]
Podcast Host 2
Mm.
[10:13]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, just whiny. Wine, wine, wine, wine. Whinging, whinging. We're very. We live in a whinging household. Right now that baby's just like. You're like, what is it? Lots of stuff.
[10:24]
Podcast Host 2
All the things so at once.
[10:27]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. So she's like, oh, you know, it's like they're starting to bond a little bit. Nesta and Feyre, they're bonding over how.
[10:32]
Podcast Host 2
Poor the relationship is.
[10:33]
Podcast Host 1
Yes. They're kind of starting to. At least they're acknowledging it.
[10:36]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[10:36]
Podcast Host 1
Okay.
[10:36]
Podcast Host 2
That's first step.
[10:37]
Podcast Host 1
At least they're acknowledging it. I know a lot of people out there who don't acknowledge they're bad relationships.
[10:43]
Podcast Host 2
Allegedly.
[10:44]
Podcast Host 1
That was way too loud.
[10:45]
Podcast Host 2
Oh my God.
[10:47]
Podcast Host 1
Anyway, it's so hard on that.
[10:48]
Podcast Host 2
Allegedly.
[10:49]
Podcast Host 1
So hard. I forgot that the allegedly is Louder than all the other buttons on here. Okay. Now with that, they're walking around the library, and all of a sudden they, like, feel something. And that's when they get attacked by two agents of Hybern.
[11:04]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, shit. And they're like secret spies in the library.
[11:07]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. And they're trying to kill them. And they spray them with Fabian.
[11:10]
Podcast Host 2
They're like, oh, shit.
[11:12]
Podcast Host 1
They hit him with the fae bane dust. They made it into a mace, basically. It's like a mist spray. Pepper.
[11:17]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, a pepper spray.
[11:18]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, kind of. And they. But then. And so they're chasing them through the stacks. Now, do they run upwards to get out of the library?
[11:25]
Podcast Host 2
No, of course not.
[11:26]
Podcast Host 1
They run down.
[11:27]
Podcast Host 2
This is a horror movie. They're running down closer to the big dragon.
[11:30]
Podcast Host 1
Now these guys, these Hybern agents, these assassins are coming there. And they're talking at them the whole time. And they say things like, hey, we are been sent by the King of Hybern. And they say things like, hey, we are the Ravens. And then they say things that they can't do shit because of the spray. And they also say the Ravens are there to get Nesta because Nesta stole something from the Cauldron. And the king and the Cauldron want it back.
[11:57]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[11:58]
Podcast Host 1
So they're just like. Like, hey, we're here to kill you.
[12:00]
Podcast Host 2
And also drop all the nugget knowledge.
[12:02]
Podcast Host 1
Just so you know. Here's all the information you need to make this story make sense as we try to kill you.
[12:08]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[12:09]
Podcast Host 1
So they chase them down.
[12:09]
Podcast Host 2
Plot device, plot device, plot device.
[12:12]
Podcast Host 1
So they chase them down deeper into.
[12:14]
Podcast Host 2
The basement where the bad dragon thing.
[12:16]
Podcast Host 1
Is, where the monster is. And Nesta goes like, one way, Feyre goes another. And Feyre starts to put together, as the guys call themselves, say different things and talk about. At one point they even say, like, yeah, the human queens don't trust the king right now because they went in, the one lady went in and it.
[12:34]
Podcast Host 2
Came out worse spies ever.
[12:36]
Podcast Host 1
He says that one of the human queens went into the cauldron and didn't become a Fae. Instead, they came out a withered crone.
[12:43]
Podcast Host 2
Whoa.
[12:44]
Podcast Host 1
Which Elaine saw in one of her visions. The gnarled hand of the withered crone. I just like the word withered crone. I am a withered crone. Anyway. But that's when Feyre puts together and goes, oh, shit, my sister's up. I can see prophecy just slapped right.
[13:01]
Podcast Host 2
In the face with that piece of baloney.
[13:02]
Podcast Host 1
Just has to just take it right on the chin.
[13:04]
Podcast Host 2
Can't Just, like, no nuance.
[13:06]
Podcast Host 1
None.
[13:07]
Podcast Host 2
No context clues.
[13:08]
Podcast Host 1
Anyway, as she gets deeper and deeper, she gets to Okoran. She realizes that she has to fight these guys. But then she feels a hand on her shoulder.
[13:14]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, shit.
[13:15]
Podcast Host 1
And it's the. It's the beast that lives in the pit.
[13:17]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, it's the pit beast.
[13:18]
Podcast Host 1
It's the pit beast.
[13:19]
Podcast Host 2
He has a hand. It's not a dragon.
[13:20]
Podcast Host 1
It's. Well, it's like kind of like mist. He's just. He, like, is darkness is kind of the best way to explain it.
[13:25]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[13:25]
Podcast Host 1
And anyway, this horrifying monster. She does not look at him.
[13:28]
Podcast Host 2
Don't look.
[13:29]
Podcast Host 1
But it says, do you want me? You want to make a bargain?
[13:31]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, yeah.
[13:32]
Podcast Host 1
She's like, why does it. You want to make a bargain with me? And she. Okay, she makes a bargain with him.
[13:36]
Podcast Host 2
She didn't even read the contract, did she?
[13:38]
Podcast Host 1
And, like, the bargain is like, that she has to bring him company or something. I don't know. It's like, the way he said. I was like, I would not accept that. Like, no, kill me over whatever that thing is. Like, it feels very like, give me your firstborn. Yeah, the way it's said. But I was like, whatever. And she's like, yep, Boom. She gets a new tattoo on his arm. And then that thing goes over and, like, just starts killing the.
[13:58]
Podcast Host 2
Racking them.
[13:59]
Podcast Host 1
Wreck him. She hears him scream, right then Cassian and Rice recent showed up, and they, like, get him out of there. Gets Nesta and her out of there. And they're like, don't look. Don't look. Whatever you fucking do, don't look at what's happening over there. And she just hears a lot of squelching.
[14:13]
Podcast Host 2
Squelching.
[14:14]
Podcast Host 1
A lot of squelching.
[14:15]
Podcast Host 2
That's not good.
[14:16]
Podcast Host 1
So they get out of there, and then Amren goes on a hunt.
[14:20]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[14:20]
Podcast Host 1
Because they're like, listen, if. If a couple of them got in here, then clearly more hybrid people got in here because they have, like, wards and stuff that's supposed to keep all this stuff from happening.
[14:28]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[14:29]
Podcast Host 1
So Amber goes on a hunt, and they warn everybody in the city. Like, listen, Amron's on her hunt. And then everyone. To make sure that she doesn't burst into your house and murder all of you.
[14:36]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[14:37]
Podcast Host 1
They painted their doors with blood, you know. You know, like Exodus, huh? Like a fucking Passover.
[14:45]
Podcast Host 2
Like, it's like Passover, Krampus.
[14:47]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, but like the angel of Death. Literally, during. Yeah, yeah. So it's like all these people. So I'm like, yeah, just. Way to rip that book off, Sarah J. Maas. Anyway, now they all admit and know that Elaine is a seer. She's not a prophet, she's a seer. She sees stuff. And then Elaine reveals that, remember, there were seven human queens, but one of them was, quote, sick.
[15:08]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[15:08]
Podcast Host 1
And one of them was murdered. She confirms that one of them turned into an old crone, but also, the one that was sick that didn't show up in book two. She is the captive of a sorcerer deathlord on the continent who uses some sort of spell to turn her into a firebird during the day and then only at night is she human. And her name is Vassa. Anyway, Lucien immediately is like, I'll go find her. And then he just leaves the story. He's like, I'm out of here. They give him a pack. He's like, I'll go to the continent and go find her.
[15:39]
Podcast Host 2
I'll be back for you, mate.
[15:41]
Podcast Host 1
Yep. And so that's 100. Cause he's like, I'm not. Everyone hates me here, and I'm not helping. So I'm leaving. Hybern forces, then immediately attack the Summer Court. This is all, like, in, like, a couple paragraphs. Like, we're just. We're cooking now.
[15:55]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[15:55]
Podcast Host 1
Remember that meme you showed me? You were like, how is the. Is this accurate? So you were scrolling through Instagram earlier and you were like, is this accurate? And it was like, the last eight, you've read 80% of a Sarah J. Maas book, and then it's just stuff exploding.
[16:06]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, the last 80% of the book. And it's the.
[16:08]
Podcast Host 1
No, no, it's the last 20% of the book. It's just every. Every plot, every. Every hook she set up where you know what it is? It's like walking across a room full of mousetraps, and you're just triggering them left and right. That we're getting into that realm now. Okay, we're going to start picking up and speaking even faster. Okay. So Amren bursts in. It's like the Summer Court's under attack.
[16:33]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, no.
[16:34]
Podcast Host 1
And what they explain is, get the sunblock. Prince Barian is Amren's, like, lover guy. Over. Back in the Summer Court.
[16:43]
Podcast Host 2
God. All fight and fuck.
[16:45]
Podcast Host 1
We met him very, very recently. Briefly. Anyway, Prince Varian sent a mental message to Amren. It was like, we're being invaded. So they all are like, we gotta save them.
[16:54]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. Okay.
[16:55]
Podcast Host 1
And so they quickly, like, get the Illyrian forces, not the Darkbringers. They get the The Batwing guys, Remember the misogynist Batwing militia that lives in the mountains? Yeah, from book two. Super misogynist.
[17:08]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[17:08]
Podcast Host 1
They get them.
[17:09]
Podcast Host 2
Good idea.
[17:10]
Podcast Host 1
And the crew and they. They show up over in the summer court.
[17:14]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[17:15]
Podcast Host 1
And they see the summer courts getting wrecked. There's like Hyberns navies, they're fighting. The Summer court has a big navy because they like, their lord has water powers. So they like water.
[17:24]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. Okay.
[17:25]
Podcast Host 1
Fucking stupid. Anyway, More and Feyre go into the palace.
[17:30]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[17:31]
Podcast Host 1
As like a two person team. And they're just fucking people up to Stabby. Stab. Stab. Fucking using her powers. They were like burns dud. But at the same time uses her water powers to like drown them on land. It's pretty cool.
[17:42]
Podcast Host 2
I will say on fire. And then drowns them.
[17:44]
Podcast Host 1
A little bit of a wild. It's a little bit of both. Like imagine drowning while on fire.
[17:48]
Podcast Host 2
I don't want to imagine that.
[17:49]
Podcast Host 1
Well, she does it and it's. Honestly, it's pretty cool. I'll tell you what, Sarah J. Maas knows how to write a battle. Like a good fight. She's good at action. She's good at action. Having like thoughts that make sense. Not so much. There's a moment though during the whole battle that Ryson's like, oh, they're selling this like holding back our powers. And so he goes to one of the boats because there's something that's like nullifying their powers that's like giving. And it's like emanating.
[18:18]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. Kryptonite.
[18:19]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. Kind of like an EMP that's going off. And so he lands on this boat and he's like, I'm fucking badass. He's killing dudes. And then he looks up and the King of High burns there.
[18:28]
Podcast Host 2
Oh no.
[18:29]
Podcast Host 1
And they have like a. They have like a promo off. Like he's like, I'm gonna kill your bitch. And he's like, I'm gonna kill you. Fuck you. And they're like going back and forth at each other. And then he discovers that the king is actually a magic hologram illusion. And of course he's not there.
[18:43]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, hell yeah, dude.
[18:45]
Podcast Host 1
He was just taunting him. He just. It was just straight up a voice note.
[18:48]
Podcast Host 2
Wait, am I supposed to not like this king?
[18:50]
Podcast Host 1
The King of Hybern. That's a badass move. Here's the thing is, the King of Hybern is a genocidal maniac.
[18:56]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[18:57]
Podcast Host 1
Let's just be clear about that. And he wants to murder us because we're Human.
[19:00]
Podcast Host 2
Got it.
[19:01]
Podcast Host 1
That being said, like, he knows his shit.
[19:03]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[19:04]
Podcast Host 1
Like he's. He's like, he is. There are moments throughout the rest of the story where like, well, that's stupid of him, but he has to be, because if he's not dumb, then he would win. Yeah, we can't, but this is pretty cool. So he's like, taunts him and all this shit. Again, a lot of sexual violence in the threats.
[19:20]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, God.
[19:22]
Podcast Host 1
Meanwhile, Feyre is in his head. She's like, in Rice's head as all this happens and she can't disconnect.
[19:29]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[19:30]
Podcast Host 1
And so when. When the spell ends, it's like he.
[19:34]
Podcast Host 2
Butt dialed her and she's like, hang up the phone.
[19:36]
Podcast Host 1
No, because the whole time she's like, kill him. Kill him. And he's like, I'm trying. He's like trying to think of like, how to kill the king and get away. And she's just fucking kill him. And then discovers he's a hologram. It's like, oh, it sucks. So then Feyre heads to Tarquin.
[19:48]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[19:49]
Podcast Host 1
Do you remember Tarquin? No, I know. I just like asking the question.
[19:52]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[19:52]
Podcast Host 1
Tarquin is the high lord of the Summer Court, okay? He's the one with the water powers that they stole from. And he issued the blood rubies, right? So he put a bounty on her head, Rhysand's head and Amren's head. But she shows up and she's like, hey, sorry about stealing that book and like, betraying your trust. But, like, we're here and we did show up to help you. And Tarquin's like, nah, miss me with all that shit. And he's like. They're like, what? He's like, I heard what you did to Tamlin. You went down to the Spring Court and you wrecked that place. You destroyed him. You destroyed his relationship with his guards. Hybern strolled through because he doesn't know that Tamlin made a deal.
[20:35]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[20:35]
Podcast Host 1
He just sees that she went back to Tamlin, wrecked his court, left, and then Hybern just straight up walked in.
[20:44]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[20:45]
Podcast Host 1
So he's like, and now Hybern's attacking me because there was no one to stop.
[20:49]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[20:50]
Podcast Host 1
Hybern from rolling the Spring Court, he's always like, so this is on you. And she's like, oh, that. That sucks. And she's like, I'm sorry. And then she leaves and she goes back to a tent and then she and Ricin suck each other off.
[21:04]
Podcast Host 2
And this is not their time.
[21:06]
Podcast Host 1
That's what they do. They go into the war tent and they make it very clear. They make it very clear. He puts his mouth on her mound.
[21:18]
Podcast Host 2
I just.
[21:19]
Podcast Host 1
You're.
[21:20]
Podcast Host 2
We're talking. There's a battle going on.
[21:21]
Podcast Host 1
Oh, it gets so much worse. No, the battle's done.
[21:23]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[21:24]
Podcast Host 1
So instead they're in there. They're in their war camp, okay. Surrounded by injured and dying who are moaning. And they have a canvas tent.
[21:31]
Podcast Host 2
No.
[21:32]
Podcast Host 1
And so they're just blowing each other while, like people are dying all around them.
[21:37]
Podcast Host 2
Guys. No, we got. There's a time and a place.
[21:40]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. There's. People are like, oh, no. I almost can remember my mother's eyes.
[21:46]
Podcast Host 2
Not my foot.
[21:49]
Podcast Host 1
Sorry. Yeah. Anyway, it's. It's very gross and it feels. It's very off putting because I'm like, you're tired. Like they're very tired from the battle anyway, so they stay there for five days. Like, oh, sorry. No, that's later. That's a later one. They. Then where am I? Here we go. They suck each other off. That's exactly.
[22:13]
Podcast Host 2
That's the words he had written out. Got it.
[22:14]
Podcast Host 1
Okay. Then they all go back to the townhouse. And then Feyre is like, all right, I gotta go check in with the bone carver. And she goes back to the bone carver. And she's like, anything else? I am not gonna do the Ouroboros obsidian mirror, because apparently it drives you insane. And he's like, sucks to suck.
[22:33]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[22:34]
Podcast Host 1
That's the only thing. That's the only token I want. Give me my fucking mirror.
[22:39]
Podcast Host 2
He's like, I need to watch to be bitch.
[22:42]
Podcast Host 1
He's like, give me your sister's Hulu password right fucking now. So she gets like, mad and she like storms out and then.
[22:51]
Podcast Host 2
But again, we can't just throw a blanket over the mirror and then pull.
[22:53]
Podcast Host 1
The mirror off the wall again. No, we. She's 20.
[22:57]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[22:57]
Podcast Host 1
Okay.
[22:58]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[22:58]
Podcast Host 1
She's a 20 year old homeschooled kid who didn't get schooling.
[23:02]
Podcast Host 2
I get that. I get. Okay, but still, it feels like if there's a mirror on a wall and if you look into it, you just don't look into it.
[23:08]
Podcast Host 1
You walk in backwards and throw in.
[23:11]
Podcast Host 2
You throw a blanket on that thing, wrap it in some tape.
[23:16]
Podcast Host 1
I need you to understand. I need to understand something. She hasn't been thinking about things like this because the whole time she's been trying to figure out, like why Morrigan and Azriel don't get together or why, you know, Nesta doesn't just notice that Cassian Loves her or why Lucian? And, like, what's wrong with Elaine? Like, she's so busy, like, caring about everyone else's interpersonal relationships that she's not.
[23:39]
Podcast Host 2
Seeing the real world around her yet.
[23:40]
Podcast Host 1
That she's really ignoring a lot of other stuff.
[23:42]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[23:43]
Podcast Host 1
So now we get to the High Lord meeting. It's High Lord meeting time. We're finally doing it. All the High Lords are getting.
[23:50]
Podcast Host 2
We're together. They put it in the Google calendar.
[23:54]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, it's in the Google Calendar.
[23:55]
Podcast Host 2
It took six weeks to. Because everybody had so many things going on.
[23:58]
Podcast Host 1
They didn't negotiate this. Like it was a fucking Marvel movie poster.
[24:02]
Podcast Host 2
Was in Italy, you know?
[24:03]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. Worst family gathering ever is about to happen. It. So they all agree to meet at the Dawn Court. Now, they used to have a meeting spot. It was under the mountain, but that evil queen ruined that shit. And then they closed it because they're like, nobody ever wants to go back there.
[24:17]
Podcast Host 2
No.
[24:17]
Podcast Host 1
We all have bad memories, bad vibes.
[24:19]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[24:20]
Podcast Host 1
So they're like, we're gonna meet at the Dawn Court. And then before they go, Ryson takes Feyre to the magical treasure safe they have.
[24:28]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[24:29]
Podcast Host 1
At. In. In the Night court. And he's like, pick out a. Pick out a crown. And she does. She picks out, like, a cool crown. And they talk all about his badass. About this crown. And then all she also says, like, you're, like, dumb rich. Like, I don't understand why any of these people fight about anything. Like, you are. You're beyond, like, trillionaires.
[24:50]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[24:51]
Podcast Host 1
Like, I don't know what more you could want.
[24:53]
Podcast Host 2
Because when you have everything, you just start fighting about interpersonal relationships.
[24:58]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[24:58]
Podcast Host 2
Cause they're just like, oh, we don't have to worry about food, housing, or money. So I guess we're all just gonna fight and fuck each other because we have nothing else to do.
[25:05]
Podcast Host 1
Yep.
[25:06]
Podcast Host 2
They're bored.
[25:07]
Podcast Host 1
And so they get ready to leave.
[25:09]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[25:09]
Podcast Host 1
And right there, I think, is a perfect time.
[25:11]
Podcast Host 2
Take a little break.
[25:12]
Podcast Host 1
Take a little break.
[25:12]
Podcast Host 2
Calm down.
[25:15]
Podcast Host 1
We're moving.
[25:16]
Podcast Host 2
I'm getting mad at them now.
[25:17]
Podcast Host 1
I know. Well, you're gonna get even madder.
[25:19]
Podcast Host 2
Yay.
[25:20]
Podcast Host 1
At the meeting of the High Lords.
[25:23]
Podcast Host 2
The way you smiled.
[25:25]
T-Mobile Representative
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[26:04]
Podcast Host 1
Sexy fairies with big bat wings, Please carry me away. I am so obsessed with this song. I'm glad that you have it in your head too. And by you I mean you, the listener. Take this to the grave and go follow Grief Cat on Instagram, Instagram on Tick Tock. And also put their. I put their founder website and that's down in the show notes. Notes as well.
[26:26]
Podcast Host 2
Nice.
[26:26]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, they're touring. Not like currently, but they will be. They should be. They should be everywhere. Yeah, we love us some Grief Cat. Now they are getting ready to leave for to go. And then Nesta walks in the room, is like. I've decided to share my story with the High Lords.
[26:43]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, okay. So she is gonna do the.
[26:45]
Podcast Host 1
She'll show. Yeah, she'll go. What's the thing? Their testimony.
[26:48]
Podcast Host 2
Their testimony.
[26:49]
Podcast Host 1
She'll give her testimony. And they're like, why? And she's like. After seeing basically what the war did to Cassian. And like everybody at the summer court, she's like. She's finally starting to realize, like. Oh, and there's like consequences to our actions.
[27:01]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, the world doesn't revolve around you.
[27:02]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, Nesta.
[27:03]
Podcast Host 2
Crazy.
[27:03]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, Nesta. But at least, you know, honestly, I'll give her this. She did change her mind and decide to do the right thing before election day. Now what?
[27:12]
Podcast Host 2
Stop it.
[27:13]
Podcast Host 1
I'm sorry. Anyway, so they get to the Dawn Court. Dawn Court. And they have the meeting with the High Lords. And all of the High Lords are there. Thiessen.
[27:26]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[27:26]
Podcast Host 1
Thessen. He's the High Lord of Dawn. It's how. It's his house.
[27:29]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[27:30]
Podcast Host 1
He has a legion of Peregrines.
[27:33]
Podcast Host 2
All right, that's a bird with four legs, right?
[27:37]
Podcast Host 1
Kinda. No, you're thinking. You're thinking Wyverns.
[27:41]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, maybe.
[27:41]
Podcast Host 1
I don't know. A Peregrine. It's really just like a knockoff Seraphim.
[27:46]
Podcast Host 2
Again with the knockoff Seraphim.
[27:48]
Podcast Host 1
But they're wing. They're winged Fae. Okay, okay. But one. Thessen's lover is a Peregrine. And a male. That's right. We found the gays.
[27:59]
Podcast Host 2
Let's go.
[28:00]
Podcast Host 1
That's right. It's Thessen. Thiessen. Whatever. And he's like this. And like they show up like, oh, My God, your house is so nice. He's like, thank you. I hid it during the blight. It's very rich person. Very. Because they're like, everybody. You start to slowly realize that each of the High lords, at the last second, used a little bit of their power before Amarantha took everything over to, like, hide something.
[28:22]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[28:22]
Podcast Host 1
You know what I mean? To protect something. And him was like, my house. No, like, so this is his house. The next one who shows up is Helion.
[28:30]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[28:31]
Podcast Host 1
He's the High Lord of the Day Court, and he is chaotically bi.
[28:36]
Podcast Host 2
Perfect. I love it.
[28:37]
Podcast Host 1
Annoyingly by.
[28:38]
Podcast Host 2
Suddenly all the characters get. Great.
[28:40]
Podcast Host 1
Listen, Helion. Helion is also known as Helion the curse breaker. He has like, curse breaker powers. He's amazing and we love him. And he would be played by Pedro Pascal. Oh, wow. Because he would specifically just be Pedro Pascal as the viper from. Remember when he was Dorne? He was from Dorne in Game of Thrones. That's all I pictured the entire time. It's just like, hello. Then there's Kallias. He's the High Lord of the Winter Court. And he's there with his wife Vivian.
[29:08]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[29:09]
Podcast Host 1
Vivane.
[29:10]
Podcast Host 2
It's just say Vivian so much.
[29:11]
Podcast Host 1
Vivian is fine. Vivian is best friends with Morrigan.
[29:14]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[29:15]
Podcast Host 1
And during the blight, again, the Amarantha period, Vivian hid his, like, a big chunk of his army.
[29:21]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[29:22]
Podcast Host 1
And him. And then when the blight ended, he went back and immediately married her. He was like. And the mating bond locked into place.
[29:28]
Podcast Host 2
Okie dokie.
[29:30]
Podcast Host 1
Then there's Baron, who we'll know. Lucian's dad, the High Lord of Autumn. Total dickhead. He's just a dick.
[29:35]
Podcast Host 2
Bummer of a guy.
[29:36]
Podcast Host 1
I picture Baron as. He's like. Like one of the. Like when you. Okay. You know when you're watching an evil movie. Like an 80s movie. Yeah, not an evil movie. An 80s movie. And there's like, the jock who's the bad guy. Yes, his dad.
[29:53]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[29:54]
Podcast Host 1
You know what I mean? Like the guy who owns the mountain.
[29:56]
Podcast Host 2
Watch Euphoria. But there's this dad. The jock's dad is that guy. I'm telling you.
[30:03]
Podcast Host 1
Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then lastly is Tarquin. And we. We met Tarquin. He's the High Lord of Summer. And he's actually the youngest of all the High Lords.
[30:11]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, so he's like 4, 000 years old.
[30:13]
Podcast Host 1
No, no. Like, all the other High Lords are, like, between 500 and, like a thousand years old. Like, Tarquin's like 200 to them.
[30:23]
Podcast Host 2
They're like, he's like 21. Stay away from.
[30:24]
Podcast Host 1
No, basically, that's a hundred percent. Meanwhile. Meanwhile Rice is like, check out my 20 year old. Everyone's like, gross. Cradle robber.
[30:32]
Podcast Host 2
Whoa.
[30:32]
Podcast Host 1
Oh. She's basically, that's like. That's like a. That's like having sex with a sexy deer. Oh, no, that's an Alex Grubbard joke. Nobody knows what I'm talking about.
[30:44]
Podcast Host 2
I do.
[30:44]
Podcast Host 1
I know you do now. Anyway, he's a stand up comedian who I find very, very funny and lives in Jersey City and opened for me. If you saw me at the Jersey City show, Alex Grubard, open for me.
[30:52]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[30:53]
Podcast Host 1
During a dark time. Now they start the meeting, okay. All the high lords they have, and they like describe, like they have this really cool room with like a koi pond in the middle of it.
[31:03]
Podcast Host 2
Sure.
[31:03]
Podcast Host 1
So instead of a table, there's just like a like a little pond in the middle.
[31:07]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[31:07]
Podcast Host 1
And so it's like when things would happen, like they. The pond responds. It's kind of weird. But anyway, they're starting the meeting and all sudden somebody winnows into the room and they all turn and look and it's Tamlin.
[31:20]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, what's he doing there?
[31:22]
Podcast Host 1
He's a high lord. He was invited as well.
[31:24]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, he was.
[31:24]
Podcast Host 1
They invited every high lord. That seems like a bad idea, Tamlin.
[31:28]
Podcast Host 2
That seems like a bad idea. Probably not invited that guy.
[31:30]
Podcast Host 1
Listen, he takes a seat and he's immediately a big abusive bitch.
[31:35]
Podcast Host 2
Okay. Yeah.
[31:35]
Podcast Host 1
Immediately he blames Ryson for everything.
[31:38]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[31:39]
Podcast Host 1
And he also starts talking shit at Feyre. Yeah, he. He says that it's Ryson's fault that Tamlin had to ally with Hybern because he was told that Pharaoh was under rice and spell.
[31:55]
Podcast Host 2
Okay. So he admits now that he. To the whole crew, he just said out loud that he did.
[32:01]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, but he's like. He's like, but it's not my fault. I didn't do a bad thing. I was told that a bad thing was being done to my girlfriend, so I had to go to room that I had to go.
[32:13]
Podcast Host 2
He didn't second room because the other room he beat up.
[32:15]
Podcast Host 1
He didn't mention that. Yeah, but he was like, no, no. I was told that she was under a curse, okay? And the only person strong enough to break that curse is the most evil man in the world. So I had to partner with him, okay. So that way I could get rid of Doritos. I'm sorry. I'm just.
[32:32]
Podcast Host 2
I'm turning into RFK get back on track.
[32:35]
Podcast Host 1
Okay. So. So he's, like, doing that, and then, like, he then starts to slut shame Feyre, and he asks the other high lords, how could you possibly ally yourself with Amarantha's whore? Because that was the nickname they gave rising.
[32:54]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[32:54]
Podcast Host 1
He's like, don't you remember all that shit that Ryson did during the blight? We were all locked in that crazy fucking pit together, and he was out there just sucking and fucking all day and getting good food.
[33:06]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[33:06]
Podcast Host 1
While we were all getting tortured and watching our family members get killed in front of us. He didn't have any of these problems. And then, like, they go back and forth for a little bit. Tamlin says he always planned on betraying Hybern. And then he was like, look, I'm here under good pretenses. He's like, I know you all jerks about me, but check this out. And he, like, snaps his fingers and big snack stack of paperwork shows up.
[33:29]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[33:30]
Podcast Host 1
And it's all stolen documents with troop movements, logistics. He's like, here's everything Hybern's planning. Here's their whole plan right there.
[33:37]
Podcast Host 2
Okay. I really don't believe any of that.
[33:38]
Podcast Host 1
I know. Nobody. Everyone's like, okay, yeah, sure, dude. Yeah.
[33:42]
Podcast Host 2
Why would Hybern give you that even. Okay. If you were gonna store the documents not in your bathroom, like, why would he have access to them? That clearly could have big. It could be a plant.
[33:53]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[33:53]
Podcast Host 2
There's no reason to trust that that's real. Especially after what I. Seems like the worst monologue I've ever heard in my life.
[33:59]
Podcast Host 1
It's not even. So It's a back and forth. It's like a really shitty. And like, his hands keep turning into claws. And he's, like, tearing at the seat, like. And he's getting, like, really fidgety. And, like, I'll you up. He's very much turning into the guy you've had three text messages with. And then you're like, honestly, I'm. I got a boyfriend right now. You, like, he's just like. You know, he's just screaming that. These insults. And he's like. But he's also doing it impotently. Like, he's, like, in the chair, like, trying to show that he's big and strong and he's doing this. And he starts going back into calling into slut shaming Feyre again. And that's when Ryson, like, just has it. And, like, just snaps his fingers. And suddenly Tamlin can't Speak like he's cutting the air off to him. And then Tarquin speaks up. And Tarquin's like, hey, just real quick, just, you know, I'm cool with y'all. Now the bounty's off and everyone's like, what? He's like, I just wanted to throw it out there. I'm cool. And then Eric know why he's cool. All of a sudden there's some throwback in there. Like they said some line or something in there, but like. And then Eris.
[34:58]
Podcast Host 2
Well, it's because he realized that Tamlin didn't get crushed by the guy.
[35:04]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[35:04]
Podcast Host 2
It's that Tamlin.
[35:05]
Podcast Host 1
Tam was a bitch.
[35:06]
Podcast Host 2
Well, Tamlin worked with him.
[35:08]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[35:08]
Podcast Host 2
He found out.
[35:09]
Podcast Host 1
Oh, yeah. That's kind of how it is. Yeah. That you. You actually are right. That's actually. You put together the note I'm missing. Yeah. Then Eris out of the. Basically out of nowhere, kind of out of left field, just slut shames Morrigan and just says they're all little slutty. Yeah, I know.
[35:25]
Podcast Host 2
Like the whole book is there all.
[35:26]
Podcast Host 1
The whole book is every. Every Fae is a little slutty.
[35:29]
Podcast Host 2
And then there's nothing wrong with that.
[35:31]
Podcast Host 1
The book is.
[35:31]
Podcast Host 2
So why are we calling each other names about it? Guys?
[35:33]
Podcast Host 1
The book is literally called. But he just like, yeah, you know what, Morgan? You're dressed like a slut. And then out of nowhere he just gets knocked to the fucking ground because Asriel just fucking flood the Shadow Singer with the burns. The spy master just fucking takes Eris out and just starts beating the ever living dog shit out of him. While this is happening, hellion's just like kind of looking through the docks.
[36:00]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, that's incredible.
[36:02]
Podcast Host 1
And everyone's just kind of like watching. This is like fucking.
[36:04]
Podcast Host 2
Somebody says the other person's just going through the.
[36:07]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, just going through like. Well, you know, I'm. There's some pretty good stuff here. It's like this is. This whole thing happened and like Azrael apologizes to reason for like losing.
[36:15]
Podcast Host 2
I just picture that there's one other person, one of the others that's doing a PowerPoint during this.
[36:20]
Podcast Host 1
No, it's kind of more of just one of those things where like, you know when you see in a movie where like a fight, like two guys have a fight and like something happens and like it's just everyone's kind of looking at it and then they go right back to like the whole room starts talking again. The music restarts. It's basically that.
[36:36]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[36:36]
Podcast Host 1
And yeah. So they're going over the thing. And then now each kind of high lord kind of goes into what they can do. And Thessen, he brings in a craftsman, and he's like, this craftsman is the one who built Lucien's eye. And, like, is really, like, one of the best craftsmen in the world. And they're also basically a scientist, and they've been looking into the fabane powder, and they've created a cure. Okay, like, what's the thing with poison? You can take an antidote.
[37:08]
Podcast Host 2
Any antidote.
[37:09]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. So they've created an antidote, and there's like a back and forth with, like, Baron and his family. We're not gonna take this. How do we know you're not just trying to poison us? And it's like, no, no. And then Feyre's like, I'll take it.
[37:21]
Podcast Host 2
So it's a. You take it before the bane?
[37:23]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[37:23]
Podcast Host 2
So then it's a vaccine? Yeah, it's a vaccine.
[37:26]
Podcast Host 1
It's a vaccine.
[37:28]
Podcast Host 2
Antidotes after.
[37:29]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, yeah, vaccines. Well, the thing is, is, like, that in this case, the one thing they do say is, like, listen, if you get stabbed with a thing coated in Fabian, like, it can't help you.
[37:37]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[37:37]
Podcast Host 1
But, like, airborne, if they're like that, that they'll stop that breathing in a little bit, that's fine. But if you get stabbed. You got stabbed. Like, I can't protect that. And, like. All right, cool. And then there's like a back and forth. Tamlin starts to blame Feyre for everything getting destroyed in the Spring Court. But then Tarquin. Tarquin keeps trying to, like, what's that thing when there's, like, parents are fighting and, like, the one child steps up to, like, mediate.
[38:02]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, yeah, I know you mean.
[38:03]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, there's like a. There's a word for it, but I'm exhausted now.
[38:06]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[38:06]
Podcast Host 1
Tarquin is just like, hey, man, like, if you have a bunch of refugees, like, they can come stay at the summer court. Like, just tell your people. And he's. Whatever. And then Bayron, Baron and Feyre start getting into it, and finally Feyre just can't take it anymore and she loses her cool and she starts to try to burn Baron to death with his own powers. And, like, she's like. Tries to do, like, the firing, drowning thing, and Rhys is like, hey, babe, that's pretty cool, but I should chill out. And then finally, like, he gets her to stop. And then Nesta steps forward because then they're like, we're fucking out of here. Yeah, I know. She's. Can Be forgettable from time to time. But then find the Baron and, like, all these people, like, we're going to fucking leave. And then Nesta steps up, is like, y'all are fucking bitches. And then she's like, are you fucking kidding me? And she gives her speech and, like, explains what happened to her and exactly what the king of. King of Hybern plans to do. And then finally, six of them agree to fight together.
[39:02]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[39:02]
Podcast Host 1
Everyone except for Baron. Baron says, basically, I'll think about it. And then he leaves.
[39:08]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, cool.
[39:09]
Podcast Host 1
But six of the High lords stay together, including Tamlin. And they're all like, we're all in this together. Everybody stays the night at the Dawn Court in separate rooms. And they have, like, their own special suite. And so it's like the crew's in there and they're all hanging out. And then Helion show up, okay? Knocks on the door. And, like, he is aggressive. This is when Feyre finds out he's bisexual because he's so aggressively bisexual. He walks in and, like, Morrigan, Azriel and Cassian are, like, sitting on a couch. And he was like, what up when we all doing this? She's like, what? He's like, I want all of this. I want to suck and fuck. And, like, just. We just want to get. I heard that wall got three holes. Look, guess who's got a bunch over here. And it's just fucking. It gets, like, weird and gross. Like, really? And the whole time, Feyre's like, oh, my God, it's Feyre. Just so you all know, think of a movie where there's some girl from Minnesota who moves to la.
[40:06]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, it's that.
[40:07]
Podcast Host 1
That's her coding the entire time. And so she's like, oh, my God, Bisexuality is even a possibility. Like, lesbians exist. Like, she's just having her brain broken over and over and over again. And then, like, he's, like, listening. She, like, talks to him for, like, a minute. There's a little bit more back, but favorites. Like talking to Helion, and he tells this story about how many, many years ago he saved Baron's wife.
[40:33]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[40:34]
Podcast Host 1
And, like, there's a whole thing about how Baron's clearly abusive to his wife. Like, she. And he's talking about how she used to be back in the day, how hard it was to see her at this meeting. Because, like, she's so quiet and, like, just very. She used to be so full of life and all this different stuff. And it's clear that Baron's been beating it out of her.
[40:50]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, okay.
[40:51]
Podcast Host 1
Because of sexual violence.
[40:53]
Podcast Host 2
It's weird because you keep saying in such a light voice.
[40:55]
Podcast Host 1
I'm trying to just keep it up, but Sarah J. Maas keeps bringing me down. But it's also pretty clear that, like, he had saved her at one point, like, during the war, and there was a whole fling thing that happened and a few other stuff. Then she's looking at him and realizes that, oh, Lucian's dad is not his dad.
[41:16]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[41:17]
Podcast Host 1
Sketch Hellion is Lucian's secret dad. And Helion. And Lucian don't know it.
[41:22]
Podcast Host 2
Nice.
[41:23]
Podcast Host 1
She can tell. She's, like, looking at him. She's like, they have the same nose. And she's, like, looking at more, and she's like, lucian looks a lot like his mom.
[41:29]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[41:30]
Podcast Host 1
But, like, the extra hints are not his dad.
[41:33]
Podcast Host 2
Maybe his dad does know, and that's why he's mean to him.
[41:35]
Podcast Host 1
Well, they don't quite know because I think, like, the lineup is right there where there's, like, a little bit of, like, oh, we don't know. And they didn't have. They don't have genetic testing, paternity tests. Yeah, they don't have any of that.
[41:47]
Podcast Host 2
Nice. Good for them.
[41:48]
Podcast Host 1
Mm. Mm. So they're all, like, talking. And I know where Nessus says, something's wrong. She feels like something's wrong. And then, like, everybody poofs away real fast. And they look around, they can't figure out what it is. And then everyone goes to bed, and Morrigan fucks Helion loudly all night.
[42:04]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, okay.
[42:04]
Podcast Host 1
Just all night. She's just. She. Hold on. I should just hit the button.
[42:11]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, yeah.
[42:12]
Podcast Host 1
It's just over and over, and everybody hears it. And, like, the next morning, like, she clearly, like, Morgan, like, clearly, like, looks, like, shitty. About, like, she didn't. She, like, clearly had a good time, what was happening, but now it's just kind of like that hungover. Like, why did I. That guy. Do you know what I mean?
[42:27]
Podcast Host 2
All night loudly.
[42:28]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, all night loudly. And, like, Azriel and Cassian had left, like, all this different stuff. Like, it was pretty. Pretty clear that she did it to, like, show Asriel, like, back off.
[42:38]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[42:38]
Podcast Host 1
You know what I mean? It's kind of weird. So then the next day, they're all, like, starting their meeting again, and all of a sudden, Nesta just starts throwing up and basically has, like, a little mini seizure. And suddenly the ground shakes.
[42:54]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[42:55]
Podcast Host 1
And that's when Ryson looks up and goes, the wall has been broken. So, like, they've already destroyed the wall.
[43:00]
Podcast Host 2
Is the thing she stole from the cauldron. A piece of the wall.
[43:04]
Podcast Host 1
It's a piece of the cauldron, basically. It's like some extra cauldron power.
[43:07]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[43:08]
Podcast Host 1
And they kind of explain it slowly over time. And I don't have it in the notes. I don't know where it happens in the book, but it's implied that Nesta and Elain, while in our world, we only saw them kind of get dunked in there for, like, 45 seconds or maybe two minutes.
[43:23]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[43:24]
Podcast Host 1
They might have been in there for eternity and they had to fight their way out. And, like, Elaine had given up, and Nesta never stops fighting and force. And the cauldron is like, weirdly. And we'll find out later. A bit later. But, like, the cauldron's, like, in love with Elaine. Like, the cauldron wants Elaine back and is mad that Nesta stole something from it, but at the same exact time. Like, Elain wouldn't have been able to get out without Nesta because Nesta forced the cauldron to release them.
[43:51]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, okay.
[43:52]
Podcast Host 1
So there's, like, some weird fucky thing in there. Yeah. But, like, Nesta has this deep connection to the cauldron. So when the cauldron destroys the wall, that's what makes her throw up.
[44:01]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[44:01]
Podcast Host 1
So everyone immediately is like, hey, we gotta go home. And we all have to call up our armies right now. Like, right now. So everybody goes back home. Elaine begs Feyre and Ricin to save the humans.
[44:11]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[44:12]
Podcast Host 1
She's like, the walls down, the humans won't know what to do. And she's like. And they're like, well, what can we do about it? And she's like, we can go talk to my ex fiance because his dad is a crazy doomsday prepper.
[44:23]
Podcast Host 2
But also, isn't her ex fiance, like, super racist against fairies?
[44:27]
Podcast Host 1
Yes, but. But on top of that, doomsday racist.
[44:30]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, God.
[44:31]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, I know. So basically, this. Her ex fiance's dad has always been like, the fairies are coming for us. We gotta build. So he built this crazy.
[44:40]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, so his dad, the hurt. The guy's dad is the. The dad in the RV from Independence Day who's been saying aliens are coming forever. And then they show up and he's like, fucking.
[44:50]
Podcast Host 1
Let's go. No, drunk guy. It's Reba and her husband from Tremors. Does that make sense?
[44:57]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[44:58]
Podcast Host 1
In Tremors, where there's the guy who has, like, the fucking 50. You're like, why do you have all this? She's like, because the government.
[45:03]
Podcast Host 2
The government's coming.
[45:04]
Podcast Host 1
So he has enough guns to fight the Tremors monsters. But yeah, it's kind of one of those things where this lord has so much money and power that he's been building this fort. Castle.
[45:13]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[45:14]
Podcast Host 1
With like big high walls and he has. Remember ash trees? Wood from ash can kill and hurt Fae and all this different stuff. And he has steel and he has weapons and he has guards and has all this different shit. And so he's like, I'm built up. I'm fucking ready.
[45:27]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[45:28]
Podcast Host 1
And so she's like, we should go there and ask him for help to protect the humans.
[45:31]
Podcast Host 2
Got it.
[45:32]
Podcast Host 1
And so they put together this idea like we'll go there and we'll ask him. But before they do that, Feyre asked Amren for help and she's like listen, I haven't been able to get the bone carver because I can't. I can't look at the Ouroboros mirror. But what do you think about the library basement monster? We could free him.
[45:49]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[45:50]
Podcast Host 1
And Amren's like, well, his name's Byraxis. And she's like, what? She's like, yeah, I know him.
[45:55]
Podcast Host 2
Did you have sex with him?
[45:56]
Podcast Host 1
No, but she just knows him. And anyway, I like how you assumed it was sex. They just know each other. Cuz they're old. And they make a bargain with him that night.
[46:04]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. And another one.
[46:05]
Podcast Host 1
Another bargain. But what he asked in return is he wants the stars. And like what? Cause he doesn't want to leave his. His cell. He likes living in the bottom of the library. The only thing that's missing is a window to this. To the sky.
[46:18]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[46:18]
Podcast Host 1
So he's like, I want you to make like a moon roof. A moonroof. 100%. That's all he wants. Zoom roof. Like okay, cool.
[46:24]
Podcast Host 2
How come all of these people that are in these prison type scenarios, all they want is like interior design. One wants a mirror, the other one wants a moonroof.
[46:36]
Podcast Host 1
Because they. Weird. Because you know, honestly, I'm gonna. That's the end of book two, by the way.
[46:43]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[46:43]
Podcast Host 1
That's the end of part two, which was the. The cursebreaker part. Yeah, I'm. I'm gonna read into it a little bit just because there is so much light bondage and captivity that's written into Sarah J. Maas books and also slavery and a bunch of other different stuff that's in there. There is some sort of weird psychological connection where she is often telling you that people's imprisonments are their own choice.
[47:09]
Podcast Host 2
Aha. Okay. And that they should make the.
[47:15]
Podcast Host 1
Make the best out of it.
[47:16]
Podcast Host 2
Make the best out of the prison that they're in. That they chose to be in.
[47:19]
Podcast Host 1
Yes.
[47:19]
Podcast Host 2
Got it, got it, got it, got it.
[47:21]
Podcast Host 1
And so with that, that's the end of this section. So we are going to take a quick break and then we're going to come back for the war and part three of A Court of Wings and Ruin.
[47:33]
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[48:07]
Podcast Host 1
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[49:24]
Podcast Host 2
High Lady.
[49:25]
Podcast Host 1
High lady like hi lady. No, I'm kidding. Like High lady like hi lady. Hey. Hey.
[49:32]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, let's, let's while we get in.
[49:34]
Podcast Host 1
Okay, so everyone heads to the Illyrian war camp, which, remember, those are the misogynistic bat people.
[49:40]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[49:41]
Podcast Host 1
And they land there and they're talking to like the Lord Devlin, who's a dick. He's like the one lord who's kind of in charge of them. But Cassian oversees them and they immediately point at Nesta and like, what the fuck is she doing here? That lady's a witch. And then they go on to Morrigan, eventually explains that's bad. Witchcraft is bad. Fae don't like witches.
[50:01]
Podcast Host 2
I'm sorry, what?
[50:02]
Podcast Host 1
Even though everyone's magic. Witches steal extra magic and use performance enhancing drugs. And people hate that. They're like, no, no. All the rest of us, we're natural, okay? We take heroin to read.
[50:15]
Podcast Host 2
No, no, no. What you're describing is Fairy Terfs.
[50:18]
Podcast Host 1
Yes. They're fairy turfs.
[50:19]
Podcast Host 2
They're fairy turf.
[50:20]
Podcast Host 1
Yes. 100. Oh my God. Oh my God.
[50:23]
Podcast Host 2
They're Fairy Terps. They're like, no, we were born this way.
[50:27]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[50:27]
Podcast Host 2
And you can't do like, you'll never be what we are.
[50:30]
Podcast Host 1
100 and yes, 100, you're completely correct.
[50:33]
Podcast Host 2
Is there anything she's not going to steal from J.K. rowling?
[50:36]
Podcast Host 1
Nothing. There's nothing she's not gonna steal from J.K. rowling. Okay. You ready?
[50:40]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[50:40]
Podcast Host 1
Okay. So the. I just got what he meant. Just got what he meant by that. So they are talking and they're like, all right, now we're gonna go to the human castle.
[50:51]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[50:52]
Podcast Host 1
Before we go, they put a glamour on Elaine to try to like dull her high Fae ness.
[50:57]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, cool.
[50:57]
Podcast Host 1
Because they're like, she still has a human face. Ish. But they're like, we need Fae have like a glow about them. They kind of twinkle a little bit extra. They can't really do anything about the ears. So they give her a cloak. So she has that covered and all that different stuff. And they're like, we're gonna go to your ex fiance's castle. And they. They go there and she walks up and she's like, tell Lord Grayson that Elaine Archeron is here and is seeking sanctuary. And they're like, okay, wait at this gatehouse. So they go into the gatehouse and it's small and it's cramped. And there's actually a really nice moment here between Feyre and Nesta.
[51:28]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[51:29]
Podcast Host 1
Because they're talking about something. And Nesta admits that she has not been able to take a bath. And she's been washing herself with buckets because ever since the cauldron happened to her, the idea of being submerged is terrifying to her. Or even just sitting in a tub.
[51:44]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[51:45]
Podcast Host 1
And then Feyre admits that she has claustrophobia now. Ever since what happened her under the mountain. And then they kind of hold hands and she Said, when this is all over, we'll figure out a way to basically invent showers. Like, she basically is like, we will invent the shower for you.
[52:00]
Podcast Host 2
Perfect.
[52:00]
Podcast Host 1
And I don't remember if it's Feyre says that or Rhys and who says that. Whatever. But then the Lord shows up. Lord Grayson and his dad, Lord Nolan. Okay, they show up and the whole crew starts talking to them. They start to. Elaine is like, my sister was turned into a fairy and against her will. And she's trying to explain all this different stuff and she's begging, please allow any humans to take sanctuary because what is about to happen is gonna suck harder than anything you could ever imagine. Yeah, you know, it's like really, really bad. And I can't believe you're voting for this again. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. All right, so then Lord Grayson's like, yeah, I would believe you if you weren't lying to me right now. I know you're a fucking Fae, you lying bitch. And she's like, what? And then Jurian walks into the room. Oh, remember Jurian?
[52:55]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[52:55]
Podcast Host 1
The human who went crazy.
[52:57]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[52:57]
Podcast Host 1
Brought back to life from the ring.
[52:59]
Podcast Host 2
The eyeball.
[53:00]
Podcast Host 1
Yep. Yeah. So he walks in the room and he's like, I told him everything.
[53:04]
Podcast Host 2
Okay. Why does that mean like, okay?
[53:07]
Podcast Host 1
Because then in his follow up reveal, because we're in reveals, he's like, and guess what? I've never been crazy.
[53:15]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, oh, he was doing that thing that guy did. Oh, fuck the. There's this guy that was friends with Diddy and the all over tick tock. After the Diddy stuff came out, it turns out he was like playing crazy.
[53:25]
Podcast Host 1
You know, I don't know what you're talking about. No, we don't have time for this. We literally don't have time.
[53:30]
Podcast Host 2
No, you're fine.
[53:30]
Podcast Host 1
But what he was doing is he was playing Doubt. He's been playing double agent against Hybern. He's like, no, I. He's like, I fought against Hybern in the human war to free my people. Why the would I be on his side now? To get back at my ex? No, he's like, I've been trying to apologize to them. I was really out of hand. And they're like, what the fuck? And so Jurian is explaining all that. He's like, he's like, rhys, read my fucking mind. Read it right now. And he like, go ahead and read it. And Rhys and Feyre read it and they're like, oh, shit. Yeah, no, he's right. He's not He's a good guy.
[54:02]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[54:02]
Podcast Host 1
And then he's like, yeah, I'm a good guy. Also, Tamlin betrayed you again. Like, oh, what the.
[54:06]
Podcast Host 2
Son of a bitch.
[54:07]
Podcast Host 1
God damn it. Why do we keep. Why do we keep fucking trusting Tamlin? And then they're in the back, bears. Like, I've never fucking trusted this dude. Fuck that dude. So then Jurian's like, hey, listen, here's some very specific battle plans for the invasion. The next battle at the Summer court tomorrow. He's like, you want to attack this side because this side will be easier to beat than this side. And, like, he gives him. He gives them everything. He's like, this is how you beat him tomorrow. And they're like, cool. And then Elaine turns to young racist Lord Grayson.
[54:36]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[54:37]
Podcast Host 1
And she's like, listen, my heart is still yours. Like, I didn't want to be turned into a Fae. Like, we can figure out a way to make this work. And he gets, like, super racist at her. Like, heartbreakingly racist. Like, like 2024 Gen Z voter with a Twitter account racist. Like, it's fucking crazy. You're like, whoa, what in the. Andrew Tate is happening right now? But the Human Lords, because Jurian basically steps on their foot, agree to take in any human that makes it to their gatehouse. Okay, so if a human shows up, they'll let him in.
[55:10]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[55:11]
Podcast Host 1
And then Jurian, before they leave, he says the reason he decided to work with Feyre and Rhysand is because Feyre killed the creepy incest twins.
[55:21]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[55:22]
Podcast Host 1
And he's like, I know you did it because they killed them. Humans.
[55:25]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[55:25]
Podcast Host 1
And he's like, that's the only reason I'll trust you. Because you killed a Fae to get revenge for a human. And she's like, word. And that's kind of like. What do you say to that? Like, okay.
[55:34]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, cool.
[55:36]
Podcast Host 1
Okay. So the next day, there's a war.
[55:38]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, there's.
[55:38]
Podcast Host 1
We have a battle. It's. It's really well. It's. It's honestly fun read. Really, really well written. Really well.
[55:45]
Podcast Host 2
She's good at writing a war.
[55:46]
Podcast Host 1
She's really good at writing it. And there's a. The good guys win. Oh, they win the battle. Like, not, like, super easily, but pretty good. Okay. And Feyre, like, watches it from a hill.
[55:56]
Podcast Host 2
So she's not even in there.
[55:57]
Podcast Host 1
No, because they. They're like, oh, she's not good at battle. So. So Feyre, Morrigan, Nesta and El, they stay at the camp.
[56:03]
Podcast Host 2
Is she good at.
[56:04]
Podcast Host 1
Listen quickly. Wow.
[56:07]
Podcast Host 2
Anyway, go ahead.
[56:09]
Podcast Host 1
Well, she's good at. Look what you made me do. She was what you made me. No, she really wasn't. But. But she. Morgan's, like, pissed because Morgan has to be up there to kind of protect them and the camp, like. But Morgan likes. Morgan's really good at battle. Morgan wants to fight more, Is really good at battle. And so she stays back and, like, the next day, she's like. Feyre explains. She goes, I can't be in a line battle like that. Like, being in the big blocks of troops and marching forward to your death and, like, the guy next to you being stabbed, and you keep going. She's like, that's. She's like, what me and Morgan did, fighting in the castle and freeing everybody and, like, burning Hybern soldiers and doing that shit. She's like, I do. I can fight a defensive. I can fight for something like that.
[56:48]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[56:49]
Podcast Host 1
I can't stand. And protecting these people right around me.
[56:52]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[56:52]
Podcast Host 1
I can't stand. Exactly.
[56:55]
Podcast Host 2
It was really just kind of like poor people were forced to do it for their kings.
[56:59]
Podcast Host 1
Yes.
[57:00]
Podcast Host 2
Nobody really wanted to do that part.
[57:02]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. And so they spent about five days after that resting and, like, kind of planning more with the other high lords and like, that. There's some.
[57:13]
Podcast Host 2
Well, there's five days. What else were they gonna do?
[57:15]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, there's just a little bit of that.
[57:17]
Podcast Host 2
I know that adrenaline was going from the fighting and the people being murdered and.
[57:21]
Podcast Host 1
And. And you know what? Feyre really need to have a shadow daddy anyway. But also, it's, like, very clear that the. This, again, this is more of, like, the, like, relationship sex of, like, he needs a nut. He just feel. He feels really tense right now. I think he just needs a nut. And that's kind of like, where it's at. And so then they discover that Hybrid's going north, and it's heading towards the Winter Court. Okay. And they, like, argue like, we can't just leave here, or else we'll attack Summer Court. So they make an illusion that they're still there, but they're actually going, okay. So they bake like, a hologram of their.
[57:56]
Podcast Host 2
Another hologram. Got it.
[57:57]
Podcast Host 1
Battle two near the Winter Court. Not as easy, but during it, Feyre realizes that she needs to find the surreal. The cereal, the surreal Lucky charms. The surreal is the creature that lives somewhere in the woods that is basically the deus ex machina thing that moves the plot along. Remember that?
[58:13]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[58:14]
Podcast Host 1
There's like, some sort of weird fairy elf thing.
[58:15]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[58:16]
Podcast Host 1
That's like a weird lizard monster.
[58:17]
Podcast Host 2
Suddenly we need that.
[58:18]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. She just is like, I need answers. Because she's, like, watching it. She's like, we're going to lose. We might win this battle, but she's like, we're going to lose this war. I need answers right now. And the Surreal knows everything. So she tells Morgan. She's like, they need you in battle right now. You need to go there. And Morgan's like, you got this. And she's like, I'll protect the camp. I'm going to stay here at the camp. You go to the battle. So Morgan runs in, puts on her shit and flies out there. Goes into the battle. She's watching Morgan's fuck people up out there. And then Feyre turns to Elaine and she's like, I need you to use your seer powers right now. Tell me where the surreal is. And she's like, I know where the surreal is. Got it. And she's like, awesome. And then she explains. Elaine says, the Suriel is in the middle, right near the Weaver's college. And Feyre's like, got it. And she poof, winnows to the middle. Feyrel finds the Suriel standing in the middle of an open field.
[59:11]
Podcast Host 2
Smart.
[59:12]
Podcast Host 1
Wearing a tattered cloak.
[59:13]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[59:14]
Podcast Host 1
And she's kind of weirds her out because every other time she's had to trap them.
[59:16]
Podcast Host 2
I was gonna say it's a little weird.
[59:18]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. And this monster, like, the surreal, is also kind of like a terrifying monster.
[59:21]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[59:22]
Podcast Host 1
But it already has the cloak. And that was. The whole thing is you have to give them the cloak to be able to get the. To get the information.
[59:28]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[59:29]
Podcast Host 1
That was like, its whole deal.
[59:30]
Podcast Host 2
Somebody already gave Dabi a sock, you're saying?
[59:32]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, 100%. And the thing is, the serial just starts giving her information anyway. Cause it's like, no, I like you. We've done this enough times.
[59:38]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[59:39]
Podcast Host 1
And she's like, hey, can you tell me where Hybern's main force is? Like, we're chasing around these, like, tiny forces. Where's the main one? He's like, I can't see it. He's like, but your sister could. Cause your sister has a piece of the Cauldron. Like, stole a piece of its powers. So use your sister to find the Cauldron. The king of hybrids. Always with the cauldron. Bing, bang, boom.
[59:58]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. Probably should have thought that on her own.
[60:01]
Podcast Host 1
Honestly, it's very obvious. It's, like, incredibly obvious. And then the next part, he goes. She goes, well, if I had used the book properly. In book. In book. 2 A Court of Mist and Fury. Would that have worked? He's like, yeah, but it would have killed you. Okay. And then Feyre asks if the Ouroboros mirror will drive her mad. And the story replies, quote, only you can decide what breaks you. Which.
[60:24]
Podcast Host 2
Jesus Christ. Sarah J. Maas.
[60:26]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, that's. That's some weaponized. That's some weaponized therapy speak. Yeah. And then the Suriel tells her to tell Amren. Oh, that the answer that they're looking for is on page two and the penultimate pages of the book. Page two, page two of the book and the pen. But you need both these pages.
[60:44]
Podcast Host 2
Got it.
[60:45]
Podcast Host 1
You need to put in the second page and the second to last page because remember, the book was in half, so it was one on each side. So until you put it together, you wouldn't really notice it. And then as the serials talking, an ash arrow explodes out of its neck because Ayantae is there. Oh, yeah. IanThe and two Hybern soldiers are just trudging across this field and the Anthea's. I got you, bitch. Fucking God. She's fucking still mad about her hand.
[61:09]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, Remember that? I bet she's still mad.
[61:11]
Podcast Host 1
Can I tell you something? The scene of Ionte showing back and her hand smash. For me, that was like four months apart. I just want you to know there.
[61:17]
Podcast Host 2
Was so much time in Los Angeles and then now it's winter.
[61:21]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, I was in Los Angeles with Hope. You know what I mean? Like, I'm pretty sure I started reading this and I was like, oh man, we could win this. And now I'm just on the other side. I'm like, yeah, of course fucking Anthe comes back. They always come back. Every evil comes back.
[61:34]
Podcast Host 2
Anyway, she shows anyway busted hands.
[61:36]
Podcast Host 1
So she shows up. No, her hands all fixed now. But it has scars on it. But because she's like, she could mend the bones, but not the scars. Ianthe starts monologuing about how they had caught the surreal before. Because they know. They know. They've read the first two books. They go, this bitch always goes for the surreal. Yeah, she always goes for the surreal. So they went and they tracked the surreal down. They caught it and they gave it a cloak. And that cloak had a spell, a tracking spell on it. So they've had a tracking spell. And they've just been following the surreal around because they knew your fucking dumbass does this every book.
[62:09]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[62:10]
Podcast Host 1
So Feyre runs is like running like. She's like running in and out of the woods as they're like shooting ash arrows at her and yelling this. And she keeps looking back because she's watching the. The cereal just bleeding out.
[62:21]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[62:21]
Podcast Host 1
And she's running closer and closer to the weavers college. Cottage. Cottage, cottage.
[62:26]
Podcast Host 2
That's that lady, the other death lady that don't like her.
[62:28]
Podcast Host 1
Yes.
[62:29]
Podcast Host 2
Got it.
[62:29]
Podcast Host 1
That is the bone carver's sister who she stole the ring from.
[62:32]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[62:33]
Podcast Host 1
Who looks like the. The girl from the ring.
[62:36]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[62:37]
Podcast Host 1
With like the long hair and she used to be beautiful and all this different stuff. And she's like weird gray skin.
[62:41]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[62:43]
Podcast Host 1
Pharaoh runs into the weaver's college.
[62:45]
Podcast Host 2
Sure gotta hide.
[62:46]
Podcast Host 1
And the weaver smells her because the weaver doesn't have eyes.
[62:49]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[62:50]
Podcast Host 1
And it's like I smell my brother on you.
[62:52]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, that's a weird.
[62:53]
Podcast Host 1
And they like talk for like briefly and like. But she's like holding the door open like in this weird way. She's like propping the door open because the door's trying to shut.
[63:00]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[63:01]
Podcast Host 1
And Ianthe and the guards rush in after her and she sneaks out and the door slams shut with a yante and the. And the two Hybern soldiers. And she can hear them screaming because the weaver's just like, I brought you dinner. And she eats them.
[63:17]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, she eats them.
[63:18]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. Or whatever. She does something to him. We don't know. We don't know exactly what she does. We just know.
[63:21]
Podcast Host 2
Not good.
[63:22]
Podcast Host 1
That bitch is dead.
[63:23]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. Okay.
[63:24]
Podcast Host 1
Behind squelching noises. Squash, squash. Squad, squad. Squelch. Which honestly. Let's go. I hated deontay so much. So just happy, happy.
[63:32]
Podcast Host 2
That one's done.
[63:33]
Podcast Host 1
Happy, happy. Joy, joy. So feyre. That happens. And feyre goes back to the cereal.
[63:40]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[63:40]
Podcast Host 1
And she's crying.
[63:41]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[63:42]
Podcast Host 1
She's crying over it. She's like, I can try to heal you. And she's like, you can't. She's like, I, I, you know, how could she. Like, I knew this was going to happen. But I've. You know, you've been so nice to me. You're like the only fairy or person or anything that's ever been nice to me. So she wasn't really that nice.
[63:56]
Podcast Host 2
She was just using you.
[63:57]
Podcast Host 1
She was nicer than everybody else.
[63:59]
Podcast Host 2
That's not.
[63:59]
Podcast Host 1
Which is an abusive relationship. Sarah J. Moss. And. And she's like, I'm going to stay with you. And Sarah's like, you should leave before something worse comes. She's no, I'm going to stay with you. And you know, I'll be with you to the end. And Suriel says that she told she Reminds her. She's like, I told you to stay with the high Lord in the first book.
[64:19]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[64:19]
Podcast Host 1
And she was like, I know. And she goes. And. And she's. And she's like, and you. You meant Rice and didn't you. She's got. I met Rice in the whole time.
[64:25]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, yeah.
[64:26]
Podcast Host 1
We're like, okay, cool. Whatever. And then the last thing the Cheryl says is just, feyre, leave the world a better place than you found it. And then it dies.
[64:35]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[64:36]
Podcast Host 1
It just dies right then. And leave the better the world a.
[64:42]
Podcast Host 2
Better place than you found it.
[64:43]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[64:43]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[64:44]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. All right.
[64:44]
Podcast Host 2
I also read that on a thing at Home Goods.
[64:47]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, I get it. All right, great. T.J. maxx logic. And then she's cracked. She's weeping over the cereal, and then she feels a hand on her shoulder.
[64:55]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[64:55]
Podcast Host 1
And it's Helion. And he's like, I'll take you back. And with my powers, it's cool. And she's like, can you cover the cereal's body with a cloak? He's like, yeah. And he takes his really nice cloak off and lays it over the cereal. And then they go back to the camp. And when she gets back to the camp is crazy.
[65:10]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[65:10]
Podcast Host 1
Because Cassian was gravely injured.
[65:12]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[65:13]
Podcast Host 1
Rind is pissed.
[65:14]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[65:14]
Podcast Host 1
And he's like, you vanish without telling anyone. He's like, at least. He's like, trying to play it cool, though. He's like, at least leave a note. Yeah. Like we. They can.
[65:21]
Podcast Host 2
They can talk through their brains.
[65:22]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[65:23]
Podcast Host 2
Like, on the way there, she could have sent a brain text message. Like, I'm on my way here.
[65:26]
Podcast Host 1
Didn't do any of this. And Morgan and Feyre have a straight up fight.
[65:31]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[65:31]
Podcast Host 1
Because Morgan's like, you betrayed me. You made a liar out of me. Ryson came to me. Is like, where is she? She's like, I don't know. He's like, you prom. He's like, I promised Rice and I'd look after you.
[65:42]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[65:43]
Podcast Host 1
And then I gave you an inch, and you took a literal half a goddamn country.
[65:49]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[65:49]
Podcast Host 1
You fucking psychopath. And they're going back and forth. And the thing is, I want to tell you right Now, Morgan is 100 right in this. Which is why Feyre immediately goes to emotional blackmail. And it's like, oh, yeah. No, no. She goes, morgan, honestly, you're the one who's the liar. Because you won't admit how you feel about Asriel. And you fucked Helion.
[66:07]
Podcast Host 2
What the fuck? Why would you bring that up?
[66:09]
Podcast Host 1
Because she's 20. Because she's 20 years old, babe. Because she's a 20 year old girl who is in the middle of a fucking war, who has never had a real friend. And this book sucks. And scene. Okay.
[66:25]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[66:25]
Podcast Host 1
And with that, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna wrap this shit up. Okay.
[66:32]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[66:32]
Podcast Host 1
Because there's a lot that's about to happen. Okay, I'm ready and I'm getting hot.
[66:38]
T-Mobile Representative
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[66:59]
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[67:16]
Podcast Host 1
Sexy fairies with big bat wings, please carry me away. Okay, we're back. Are you ready?
[67:24]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah, I'm ready.
[67:25]
Podcast Host 1
Let's start rapidly firing towards our conclusion. All right, I'm gonna be making.
[67:29]
Podcast Host 2
I have a feeling that, like, the book was also like this.
[67:31]
Podcast Host 1
It is. Listen, the last 20% of the book I read in like three, like two hours. Everything up to that point, I was like, would you get on with it?
[67:40]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[67:41]
Podcast Host 1
All right. So Amren shows up and shows Nesta how to use the bones and stones to describe the location of the cauldron.
[67:46]
Podcast Host 2
Got it. All right, we're gonna find them.
[67:48]
Podcast Host 1
She literally just like, throws on a table. It's like right there. And she and Feyre then see the cauldron, like, through their mind's eye. And the massive Hybern army. Their location and everything. They realize it's in the human realm, right near their old family home. And they're like. And they're. And they're crazy. And that night they go to bed. Feyre has a dream that the Cauldron is reaching out and calling for her sister Elain.
[68:10]
Podcast Host 2
Okay?
[68:11]
Podcast Host 1
And that's standing on the edge of the Cauldron camp. Her sister Elaine's racist ex fiance is like, calling to her, and Elaine's walking out to him. And then her eyes open and she's like, holy, that's actually happening right now. Oh, my God. And she runs out and Elaine's missing. And everybody freaks the out. Elaine's gone. The Cauldron has taken her. Because the cauldron is, like I said before, is in love with Elaine and like, wants her back.
[68:33]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[68:33]
Podcast Host 1
Or at least wants to look at her again. I don't know. It's kind of weird. The Cauldron is like a God and the McGuffin at the same time. It's just like this thing. It kind of reminds me like Sauron's eye.
[68:43]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[68:43]
Podcast Host 1
Where you're like, I think it has agency.
[68:45]
Podcast Host 2
I don't know, but I don't.
[68:46]
Podcast Host 1
It doesn't have enough agency for anyone to stick their dick in it. That's where I want to leave it. Okay.
[68:50]
Podcast Host 2
All right.
[68:51]
Podcast Host 1
Azriel and Feyre then are like, quickly put together a plan. Like, we're going to go save her, we're going to save Elaine right now. We're going to go to the Hybern camp. And Feyre uses a spell to disguise herself as Ianthe. Like, to make like her face looks like Ianthe. And then Azrael hides in her shadows.
[69:06]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[69:06]
Podcast Host 1
Because he's a shadow singer. That's what he does.
[69:08]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[69:09]
Podcast Host 1
And then they go to the camp and everybody just keeps making like weird jerk offs at her. Like, Ianthe is like such a big slut that like everyone's like, yo, what up yon?
[69:18]
Podcast Host 2
Thing.
[69:19]
Podcast Host 1
And they're like, they're. They're talking like they're Italians in like the 70s.
[69:22]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[69:22]
Podcast Host 1
Where they like grab their junk like, yo, what up? They just keep like readjusting themselves. It said a bunch of times. And I'm like, I don't like this. But then she runs into Jurian and Jurian's like, hey, oh, you're not Yante. But he plays it cool because they're allies. And he's like, no. And as they're walking through, they. They pass a bunch of people. Like, it's clear that the hybrid soldiers are torturing, executing and doing sexual violence towards humans.
[69:52]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[69:53]
Podcast Host 1
And one in particular is a human girl who was in one of the children of the blessing cloaks, is on a rack being tortured. And there's a whole trolley problem moment here where Feyre wants to save that girl, but also her sister. And Jurian's like, you can't do both. You gotta pick one. She's like, I choose both. I want to have my cake and eat it too.
[70:12]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, that's not gonna end well, probably.
[70:13]
Podcast Host 1
And Jurian's like, okay, listen, your sister is by the cauldron and set the 10 at the end. Say that you want to go pray. And then Asiante. And then you'll be able to go pray at the cauldron. Because she has access.
[70:24]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[70:24]
Podcast Host 1
And she's like, got it. And he's like, if you really want me to save the girl, I'll leave the girl by the cliff at the back of the camp. Because this whole place has a ward, so they can't fly. They can't poof away until they're outside the ward space.
[70:36]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[70:36]
Podcast Host 1
So he's like, run and jump off.
[70:37]
Podcast Host 2
The cliff real quick.
[70:39]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[70:39]
Podcast Host 2
This fairy guy isn't. He's a high lord.
[70:45]
Podcast Host 1
Who? Which one?
[70:46]
Podcast Host 2
The one that's saying, I'm gonna go do this and get the little girl over there.
[70:48]
Podcast Host 1
No, this is a human Jurian. He's the eyeball dude. Eyeball.
[70:51]
Podcast Host 2
Eyeball dude. Got it.
[70:53]
Podcast Host 1
Okay.
[70:53]
Podcast Host 2
Because I'm like, feyre is a queen or. Right? Like, she has a high lady. She has a crown. Can't she just walk over to the soldiers and, like, hey, stop.
[71:03]
Podcast Host 1
No. Because they're her enemy. Remember? This is. She's in the king of Hybern's camp.
[71:08]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, okay. She's happening in hurricane. No, no, no. I thought this was the misogynist bat guys.
[71:13]
Podcast Host 1
No, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. This is the Hyburn camp, okay?
[71:17]
Podcast Host 2
They're in.
[71:17]
Podcast Host 1
This is the evil camp because that's.
[71:19]
Podcast Host 2
What the cauldron is.
[71:20]
Podcast Host 1
And to show that they're evil, I got a little. They're doing rape killings. Okay. They got to do that to. To show they're evil because they're written like a mid-2000s video game where the bad guys have to do sexual violence to show the world that they're actually evil, or else people will thanos them and think that actually, maybe they have a point.
[71:38]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. Got it.
[71:39]
Podcast Host 1
Okay. We good?
[71:40]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[71:41]
Podcast Host 1
Okay. Don't air horn out of this. Okay. Now they go in, and she praises the cauldron. She finds Elaine in the back, and they, like, realize they can't get a chains off of her, but they can, like, try to, like, do something. And they're like, all right, fuck it, Go. And they burst. They. They, like, pull Elaine out with the chains still on, but they, like, put the chains over. They're like, she's still handcuffed.
[72:05]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[72:06]
Podcast Host 1
But she's not attached to anything anymore.
[72:08]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[72:08]
Podcast Host 1
It's the best way to put it. And then it's like when you get.
[72:10]
Podcast Host 2
Away from the cop. Yeah.
[72:12]
Podcast Host 1
With your handcuffs still on. And so they take her, and they run out the back of the tent, and they set off, like, every alarm of course. And so now like every soldier and these things called Naga hounds, which are like those, those crazy swamp monsters, but dogs.
[72:27]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[72:28]
Podcast Host 1
They're chasing them. And it's, it's pretty thrilling. Like it's actually like it reads really fast. Like she's really good at. Sarah J. Maas is really good at writing action. I want to be clear about this. She is good at writing action. I never want to hear her give me the thoughts of a 19 year old girl again. But action. Go all day. It's really cool scene where they're running away and like she's trying to get her wings going.
[72:50]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[72:50]
Podcast Host 1
And Azriel is like, I'll k I can. Because that's the whole thing is Jurian's like, you can't carry three.
[72:56]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[72:56]
Podcast Host 1
Azrael can't carry three people to fly out far enough to winnow away. And she's like, no, Asriel, you take my sister and the human girl. Yeah, I'll fly off on my own. But she's being chased and like being slowed down and like all this stuff. And then out of nowhere this big thing just starts knocking back the dogs. And it's like, what is that? And then she realizes Tamlin. Tamlin's protecting her as a big wolf now. As a big werewolf guy.
[73:20]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[73:20]
Podcast Host 1
And she's running. She's running. And she sees him getting like overwhelmed and she's like, it doesn't have enough strength to like to get up.
[73:28]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[73:29]
Podcast Host 1
And at the last second, Tamlin reaches out, his hand gives her like a push of air.
[73:33]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[73:33]
Podcast Host 1
And that helps her like take off just enough. And they're able to get out just outside the wards. And she looks back and she sees him jump off the cliff as well.
[73:41]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[73:42]
Podcast Host 1
And he falls. And as he's falling, gets close enough, I guess he's outside the ward. And then he poofs away.
[73:47]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[73:47]
Podcast Host 1
So he gets away and then they get away, but Azriel is injured so badly that he can't fight anymore. They're like, you can't fight. And then they say the human girl's name, they introduce to her and like, her name's Briar. And then they hand her off to a completely different group because they're like, yeah, well, we got the kid.
[74:04]
Podcast Host 2
We don't have to take care of it.
[74:05]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. And they're like, you might come up in a future book. And then Nesta thanks Feyre for saving Elaine. And then the three sisters sleep on the floor of a tent just like they're back in Their really shitty bed in their college, in their cottage.
[74:16]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[74:17]
Podcast Host 1
So they're like, yeah, just kind of like we're bonding. The next day, the Winter Court army joins them. This is the army that Kelly is. His wife had hidden. And then Azriel is. Okay, but again, he's not great. And he's really, really mad.
[74:33]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[74:34]
Podcast Host 1
Because they're like, you can't fight, dude. You can't fight. And he's like, this is. He's like, I'll be fine. Like, you can't fly. You can't fight. And then Moore and Feyre have a talk. They finally have a heart to heart.
[74:44]
Podcast Host 2
Okay. Because you got to make up where Feyre apologizes.
[74:47]
Podcast Host 1
Yes, they both apologize.
[74:49]
Podcast Host 2
Well, I'm only. I'm only here for one of those.
[74:51]
Podcast Host 1
Well, because Morrigan explains that she could never tell Asriel that she loves him because she loves him like a brother.
[75:00]
Podcast Host 2
I just. I didn't care about the.
[75:03]
Podcast Host 1
Because Morgan is gay.
[75:05]
Podcast Host 2
Whoa, wait, what?
[75:06]
Podcast Host 1
She's a lesbian. She's been a lesbian the whole time.
[75:09]
Podcast Host 2
Secret lesbian.
[75:10]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, she's most of the time. Basically, she. She bangs guys every now and then again for fun, because.
[75:16]
Podcast Host 2
So you're describing a bisexual now.
[75:18]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, but she's more. She's. She. What she says is, I can have sex with men when I need to. She's. But I don't feel any connection there.
[75:25]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, so it's. What do they call that? There's a word for it? Compulsory heterosexuality.
[75:30]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, it's like. Well. And so here's the thing is she's so in the closet. Yeah, she's deep in the closet. And she explains why. So basically, her weird family that lives underneath that, in that fucking hewn city.
[75:42]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[75:43]
Podcast Host 1
They are like. They were gonna. They sold her off to Eris. They're like, you're gonna be sold out to Eris. So that way we have a good connection.
[75:48]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[75:48]
Podcast Host 1
You're gonna make us babies. And she. She knew then that she was gay and she was a lesbian. And she's like, if I tell anyone, if I tell them, they will tie me to a bed and make me into a broodmare. Because they do that in that culture.
[75:58]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[75:59]
Podcast Host 1
And she was like, so that's why I slept with Cassian.
[76:01]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[76:02]
Podcast Host 1
And she was like. Because I knew if I was sullied.
[76:06]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[76:06]
Podcast Host 1
If I wasn't intact in their mind, then I would. They would just reject me. Yeah, she was. Didn't know that they would, you know, do the whole nail in the womb thing.
[76:16]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[76:16]
Podcast Host 1
But, like, it was it was better than them finding out that I was gay. And. Which is like, there's so many layers. There's so many layers to that.
[76:24]
Podcast Host 2
But also, like, sarah J. Maas, I need you to go to therapy, babes.
[76:27]
Podcast Host 1
But also, like, I know a bunch of women who had very similar stories. And it's also pretty clear that she sleeps with men sometimes to throw everybody off the scent of the fact that she's gay. And she goes to a. I need.
[76:40]
Podcast Host 2
Morgan to get on TikTok in 2020 and get accidentally pipelined into the truth 100%.
[76:48]
Podcast Host 1
She explains that she's been with a woman. She's been with women before. She's taken women lovers before. Her first woman lover was during the war, and it was a human. And that woman, she. She took a beautiful lover because she realized she could be more open about it because of Nepheli. And her. That whole thing comes back. She's like, I saw lesbians. I was like, I could be a lesbian.
[77:08]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[77:08]
Podcast Host 1
And then she fell in love with a human, but that human ended up on the other side of the wall. And that woman, by the time she finally got the other side of the wall, she was old and already had five kids with a guy.
[77:16]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[77:17]
Podcast Host 1
And was a human queen and was actually the golden hair queens, like, great, great, great grandmother.
[77:22]
Podcast Host 2
Okay. Who.
[77:22]
Podcast Host 1
The one who got murdered in Valeris. So that was just, like, good genes and there's a lot of stuff.
[77:29]
Podcast Host 2
But, Morgan, we're talking representation matters.
[77:31]
Podcast Host 1
Representation matters. She saw.
[77:33]
Podcast Host 2
She saw herself.
[77:34]
Podcast Host 1
Yep.
[77:34]
Podcast Host 2
And she wanted to be out.
[77:35]
Podcast Host 1
And she takes. She takes women. You know, she. She says female. She. I take. Female lovers.
[77:40]
Podcast Host 2
Say females.
[77:41]
Podcast Host 1
But she. She never. She says it over and over again. Because she even mentioned at one point, she's like, yeah, my human lover, you know, she. She took a mate, or as you would call it, marriage. And I was like, shut up.
[77:49]
Podcast Host 2
Don't make it that we're the weird ones.
[77:51]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. Don't make us the weirdos here with your females. Anyway, she's like, yeah, no, I take. I take lovers a lot. Female lovers, but they always get tired and annoyed because I can't ever admit that this is happening because I don't. Like, I don't want my family to be disgusted. She's okay with being disowned by them. But, like, yeah, like, I don't know. There's just so many.
[78:12]
Podcast Host 2
This is. Okay. I've read this book.
[78:14]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[78:14]
Podcast Host 2
I've seen this story in real life, but.
[78:16]
Podcast Host 1
And she's like, yeah, well, there's like a bar I go to called Rita's.
[78:19]
Podcast Host 2
Shut the fuck.
[78:20]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah, there's a lesbian.
[78:21]
Podcast Host 2
There's only, like, all of this story. This. There's a lesbian bar.
[78:25]
Podcast Host 1
Let me tell you something. I lost my mind. There's only, like, what, like, 13 lesbian bars left in America. And they have one in Prithian. Like, fuck you. I was so. And it's called Rita's.
[78:36]
Podcast Host 2
Why would you call it Rita's?
[78:37]
Podcast Host 1
Because Rita's the owner.
[78:39]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, I guess that makes sense.
[78:40]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. But anyway, she's like, yeah, that's where we all hang out. Anyway, her girlfriends leave her after a few decades because they're like, I don't want to be with a closet case. And.
[78:46]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[78:47]
Podcast Host 1
You know. Anyway, she knew if she slept with Asriel, he wouldn't understand that this was just, you know, to get that nut business. And he would think that this was, like, the beginning and not the end. And so she's always, like, tried to keep him, and she. But she doesn't want to lose him as a friend. So she's been, like, dragging him on for 500 years, but he just assumes. He thinks she doesn't realize. Even though he's the spy master supposed to know all this stuff. Supposed to be the Lord of the Shadows. Yeah, he thinks. Not that he doesn't think that she's gay. He thinks that she just thinks he's ugly because of his horrifying burns and trauma.
[79:25]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[79:26]
Podcast Host 1
Okay, so then. Feyre. Thanks, Morrigan. And she said, I'll keep this. You know, this is just between us. I won't tell anybody, but when you come out, I'm gonna play matchmaker. And it's like, oh, my God, you white ally bitch. You white ally bitch. I hate you so much. Go turn your Instagram cube into a black square. Anyway, that was that whole chapter and a half. How you feel?
[79:48]
Podcast Host 2
I. I don't know what's happening, and I'm excited.
[79:51]
Podcast Host 1
Okay, cool. Remember how we were at war? Sorry, I had to take a whole lesbian aside.
[79:55]
Podcast Host 2
I know. It was a nice. Aside from war.
[79:57]
Podcast Host 1
Yeah. Well, we're going back to war. So now the Hybern army is marching through the human lands, and they're just doing sexual violence.
[80:06]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[80:07]
Podcast Host 1
And the sisters beg the High Lords to use their powers to save as many humans as possible before the battle tomorrow. And Amren then tells them that Elaine knows how to use the cauldron to end the war because she takes the note that the Suriel gave her, and she's like, there's a way that we can do this. And if the four of us who were made by the Cauldron touch at the same time, we can use Deadpool Wolverine logic. And the energy will be dissipated through enough of us that none of us will die.
[80:34]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[80:34]
Podcast Host 1
So the High Lords finally listen to the sisters. And they use their winnowing powers all night to winnow out humans to either the Summer Court or to other locations. So they'll be protected. Now, I want you to picture this. Humans have never seen Fae.
[80:49]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[80:49]
Podcast Host 1
Most of these humans, their entire life, they've only ever lived in complete fear of them on the other side of the wall.
[80:53]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[80:53]
Podcast Host 1
And then one night, out of nowhere, their mortal enemies, who they've never seen, appear in their bedrooms and say, get your shit. We're leaving. And so, of course, a lot of them are just screaming. It's like, imma take you to safety. And then they transport them to literal fields and like giant manors that look like, you know, they did have slave quarters. And they're. You're here. You're gonna live here now. And they're just freaking out left and right. Feyre, though, during this moment, realizes that this is her moment to go get the mirror. She's like, we need to do. I need the mirror. I can't. There's no way. I can't get the mirror.
[81:26]
Podcast Host 2
There's so many side quests all the time.
[81:27]
Podcast Host 1
So she goes. She goes to the Hewn city. She walks up a thousand stairs through a snowstorm.
[81:33]
Podcast Host 2
Could she not just do her little poof magic?
[81:35]
Podcast Host 1
No, that doesn't work here. Whatever. They. Whenever they need to have a long think. And there's always a thing that stops the poof magic.
[81:41]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[81:41]
Podcast Host 1
So she gets up to the top and she looks into it and she sees herself. And then as she's looking into it behind her, she sees a monster. And it's crawling like a panther. But it has scales and fur and feathers. It's a weird thing.
[81:53]
Podcast Host 2
That's a lot of things.
[81:54]
Podcast Host 1
It's a lot of things. And it's about to pounce. And she pulls out her knife and she turns to face it and it's not there. And she looks back and it's sitting in the mirror. And she realizes she's looking at her true self.
[82:03]
Podcast Host 2
She is the monster.
[82:04]
Podcast Host 1
She is the monster. And she pretends to perceive it. And then we cut and it goes right back. And she is handing the mirror to the bowling guy. Yeah. And he's like, oh, you looked at it, huh? And she's like, yep. And he's like, what'd you see? And she's like, myself? He's like, okay. Pretty crazy. Anyway, so he tells her that he'll uphold the deal now. And then he just kind of tosses the mirror to the side. She goes, what the fuck? You didn't. He's yeah, I want to make sure he's like, that was a test to see if you were worthy, if you could face yourself.
[82:40]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, my God.
[82:41]
Podcast Host 1
And I'm like, did you suck, bro? Anyway, they do the magic and get to get him out of there. And then the coming day, it's down to the final battle. Okay? The Hybern has just been sexually violencing their way across. The gang's getting ready. Asriel gives Elaine his blade called Truth Teller. He's like, here's my knife. And they. And, like, they all make a big deal because they're like, listen, he's never. No one's ever touched that knife. And he's letting her touch it.
[83:11]
Podcast Host 2
Wow.
[83:13]
Podcast Host 1
And then everyone makes a big deal about it. Rhys then gives a moving speech to each member of the crew of, like, what they mean. And it is pretty good. It's actually a pretty good speech because they've been asking these, like, do you want the flowery speech or the depressed one? They're like, the real one. And I'm like, okay, fine. And then the battle begins, and they all have these massive shields. I know you don't know what I'm talking about, but for the listeners, I picture the field from the end of Star Wars Episode 1, when the trade Federation is attacking the Gungans, and they have those giant shields over their entire forces, and they're battling until the big shields break down. Until then, it goes to smaller unit shields. And right as the big shields break, Feyre turns to Rice and says, you know, I never got you a mating prize. And he goes, what? And she goes, I have these new tattoos because of the new bargains that she's made with the bone carver. And by Raxiths. That's right. The basement monster and bone carver just appear on the field. And she's like, look at that. Isn't that cool? And then Rice says, oh, you shouldn't have, because I got you this. And then the Weaver appears, okay? Because remember when Helion put his hand on her shoulder, it was like, I'll take you home. Rhysand had sent Helion to go cut a deal with Striga the weaver. And so now they got three death God monster things, okay, that are running around just Killing everybody. They're just, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder. And it's. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool because the. The monster Death guards just start killing.
[84:39]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. That's their whole thing.
[84:41]
Podcast Host 1
They're like, oh, I go. Here I go. Killing again. Now the battle's really kicking. All five high lord armies, they're fighting all of Hybern's massive force. And we're talking about, like, it feels like, I want to say, like, 80,000 dudes versus, like, 200,000 dudes.
[84:55]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[84:56]
Podcast Host 1
And it's like, they're doing all right, but it's not great. But then they hear a horn.
[85:00]
Podcast Host 2
Oh.
[85:01]
Podcast Host 1
And they look to their left because they're also. Just so you know, this is, like, near the ocean.
[85:04]
Podcast Host 2
Mm.
[85:05]
Podcast Host 1
So they're like the oceans on their right. There's, like, some hills to the left. High Burn actually has mostly the high ground. So they're like. They're very disadvantageous.
[85:15]
Podcast Host 2
So we hear a horn.
[85:16]
Podcast Host 1
They hear a horn.
[85:17]
Podcast Host 2
Boats.
[85:18]
Podcast Host 1
No, not boats. Three new armies.
[85:21]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, shit. Where they coming from?
[85:23]
Podcast Host 1
It's Baron, it's Tamlin, and it's the racist Lord Grayson's men being led by Jurian. And they're good guys now.
[85:31]
Podcast Host 2
Yay. Let's not question it. Let's not question it.
[85:34]
Podcast Host 1
Just accept it. Shut up. Everybody has to rush in. Let's pile in, fellas. So they come in, and they're all good guys. And because, you know, there's, like, 57 different arcs, we need to wrap up, and we got characters we need to keep for future books, so. The Cauldron. The Cauldron made girls. That's the best way to explain them, which is Amren, Elaine Nesta, and Feyre herself.
[85:56]
Podcast Host 2
Yep.
[85:57]
Podcast Host 1
They start making their way across the battlefield.
[85:59]
Podcast Host 2
Sure.
[86:00]
Podcast Host 1
Making my way. They start making their way across, and Nesta drops to the ground and starts screaming for Cassian.
[86:07]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, Cassian.
[86:09]
Podcast Host 1
Cassian. And Cassian, like, starts to swoop down. He's like, what the fuck is going on? And she's having damn near close to a seizure. And all of a sudden, they hear this giant noise and just goes like. And it's because the Cauldron shoots a giant blast in the air and wipes out most of the Illyrian forces. Oh, it's like a Death Star blast. And, like, the dudes just vaporize and, like, their ashes falling. Cassian would have been in the middle of that blast, but he swooped down a little bit and was just outside side of it. And everybody's freaking the out. And then the cauldron blasts again, but this time directly into Hybern's army and takes out the bone carver. And at the last second, the bone carver, like, looks like. She looks at the bone carver and the bone carver, like, looks at her and, like, smiles. Because, like, he knew this was going to happen. Yeah, because all these things knew they were happened, but he did it for her.
[86:59]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, my God.
[86:59]
Podcast Host 1
But also, I think he wanted the sweet release of death.
[87:01]
Podcast Host 2
And, like.
[87:03]
Podcast Host 1
And honestly, after this November, I get that.
[87:04]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, stop it.
[87:06]
Podcast Host 1
So, okay, now that's that happened, and everybody's, like, freaking out because now they're down there, they only have two God monsters left. They just lost a bunch of their wingy boys. And then, boom, another horn blast.
[87:17]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, no.
[87:17]
Podcast Host 1
Boats.
[87:18]
Podcast Host 2
I knew boats were coming.
[87:19]
Podcast Host 1
And it's hybrid boats. More hybrid boats. It's his allies from the continent. But then guess what?
[87:25]
Podcast Host 2
What?
[87:25]
Podcast Host 1
Another horn blast. Okay, more boats. Okay, behind the hybrid boats.
[87:29]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[87:30]
Podcast Host 1
Ally boats, baby. Because guess what?
[87:33]
Podcast Host 2
What?
[87:33]
Podcast Host 1
It's Miriam and Drakon. Miriam.
[87:36]
Podcast Host 2
Hot sexy Miriam.
[87:37]
Podcast Host 1
Hot sexy Miriam. And Drake on her bird boy. And guess what? Behind them. But there's more boats, guys.
[87:43]
Podcast Host 2
This is a lot of boats.
[87:44]
Podcast Host 1
And there's a firebird, okay, because it's the Queen Vassa, the firebird lady. It's daytime and she's flying around. She's burning the Hybern boats. And guess what? Behind Queen Vassa, guess what there is.
[87:54]
Podcast Host 2
Oh, no. What?
[87:55]
Podcast Host 1
More boats. Okay, and guess what? They look closely and can they see the name of those three boats? Because they have. So they can see a distance. They don't need telescopes. And those three boats are named Feyre, Nesta and Elaine. And on the lead ship, Nesta, there's a man standing there, a tubby man.
[88:14]
Podcast Host 2
Is it the dad?
[88:15]
Podcast Host 1
It's the Prince of Merchants. It's their dad. Yeah. Their dad led an army. Yeah. Their dad's the best guy ever. Do we have to hear anything about him? No, but he just showed up because, you know, redemption arcs. Fuck it.
[88:26]
Podcast Host 2
Okay? I'm not. I don't love that.
[88:29]
Podcast Host 1
Honestly, I teared up a little bit when it happened because I was like, yeah, save your girls. That feels nice.
[88:34]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[88:34]
Podcast Host 1
Because they later explained, like, he basically spent a whole time, like, he discovered what was happening. I was like, we could even get more armies. Go back here and save my daughters.
[88:41]
Podcast Host 2
Okay, so now what happens?
[88:43]
Podcast Host 1
Okay.
[88:44]
Podcast Host 2
War. War. War.
[88:45]
Podcast Host 1
War.
[88:45]
Podcast Host 2
War. War.
[88:46]
Podcast Host 1
War. War. Nesta tells Feyre that she and Cassian are gonna have to be. Will be bait.
[88:53]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
[88:54]
Podcast Host 1
She's gonna Use their power. And she's gonna draw out the king of Hybern. She's gonna draw him away. And I just realized I've had. I did not have the video on this entire time. Okay, it's fine. But she's gonna draw him away, and she's gonna bring him to the. Away from the cauldron, and then they can do what they need to do for the cauldron.
[89:16]
Podcast Host 2
Sure.
[89:16]
Podcast Host 1
And they're like, okay. And Elaine is just, like, freaking out. Like, Elaine is. Elaine can't help.
[89:20]
Podcast Host 2
Elaine's not having a good time.
[89:21]
Podcast Host 1
So they kind of all huddle up, and they're all like, this is what we're going to do. And everyone huddles up. And then they break. And that's where we're going to take a very quick break.
[89:29]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[89:29]
Podcast Host 1
Right here. And then I swear to God, I'm here at the ending. I'm on the last page.
[89:34]
Podcast Host 2
Okay.
[89:34]
Podcast Host 1
And we have, like, we have time. Okay, we got time. So when we come back, we're going to end the battle.
[89:40]
Podcast Host 2
Finished book.
[89:41]
Podcast Host 1
We're finishing this book.
[89:42]
Podcast Host 2
We're going to finish the book.
[89:46]
T-Mobile Representative
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Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service ported. 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months.
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Podcast Host 1
Sexy fairies with big bat wings Please carry me away.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay, okay, we're here.
[90:31]
Podcast Host 1
All right, here we are.
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Podcast Host 2
This last page.
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Podcast Host 1
Yeah, we're last page of the biggest.
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Podcast Host 2
Book you've ever read.
[90:35]
Podcast Host 1
So Feyre and Amren, they scuttle across the battlefield, and they're following the strigga's trail of death. All right? They get to the high burn camp, and they get to where the king is in the cauldron, and they follow. The striga is, like, waiting for them. Kind of like, I watch this shit, like, kills a bunch of people. And then the king of Hybern sees the striga and just snaps her neck.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay.
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Podcast Host 1
Because he's uber powerful. He just, like, walks up. He's like, hey, death God. Snaps her neck.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
And they're like, well, she might survive that. And then they. He throws her. And then a bunch of dogs eat her. And they're like, that's crazy. Okay. But it feels, like, really weird. But also, by this point, the Weaver is an old lady anymore. She's killed so many people that she was young.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
She was like, cool and everything. I kind of pictured in like a like red pant, white top, like, Japanese type of thing. Like, suddenly she was like a young woman. Deal. Anyway, but then he, King Hybrid looks up and he feels something. And he realizes it's Nesta flexing her power. And so he flies off to go get her. So Feyre and Amaran then go to the cauldron, which for some reason has no guards.
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Podcast Host 2
Yep.
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Podcast Host 1
And Amren says she's sorry. And Feyre's like, huh? And it's like, right as Farah touches the cauldron. And then Amren takes a step back. Amren takes a step back and then tosses the spell book away. And then now things get really weird. Feyre suddenly starts to see through the cauldron's eyes. And the cauldron, like, zaps her all around the entire battlefield. Like, so she starts seeing all this. She sees, like, Miriam and Dracon fighting Jurian. She sees Rhysand and Helion go into literal beast mode. Like, they turn to actual fucking, like, crazy monster beasts. And they're fighting a never ending horde of Hybern troops. And then finally she lands on Nesta and Cassian. And they're like, there, and they're ready. They're waiting for the King of Hybern to show up and they're gonna stab him. And the King of Hybern appears, but he is holding their father as a human shield. Like, literally holding their dad in front of them.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
And Papa Archeron says to Nesta, like, she's begging for his life. And he's like, I've loved you from the minute I held you as a baby. And then he apologized. He's like, I'm sorry for everything. For, like, not standing up before and like, all this stuff. And then the king snaps his neck. Just kills him dead.
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Podcast Host 2
Oh, okay.
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Podcast Host 1
And while Nesta is begging for his life, and then they fight Cassian, Nesta and the King battle. It's pretty good. It's pretty cool. There's like a whole scene where she goes to, like, shoot a big power blast at him. And, like, he just, like, ducks. Yeah. He kills, like, thousands of dudes behind him, but it's like, it's a Cool shot. Anyway, they're about to lose. And Nesta tries to shield Cassian with her own body. Like, Cassian's, like, fucked up on the ground, like, all beat up. And she, like, covers herself with his body, and he's. The king's getting ready for the killing blow. And all of a sudden, he just stops. And Nesta looks over her shoulder and he has a knife sticking out of his neck because Elain walked up behind him and just stabbed him in the neck from the back.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay.
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Podcast Host 1
Yeah. Using truth teller Azriel's knife.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
So, yeah, it's in there. Stabbed him right in the fucking neck. And everyone's like, what the fuck? And it's. It's wild. It's real wild. And Elaine just kind of like, strolls off and, like, he's like, just kind of girl, like. Like, bleeding out and. Because you stabbed him through the throat.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
And Nesta gets up and, like, kicks him on his knees. So he, like, falls to his knees. And then she just starts twisting the fucking knife until his head literally pops off.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay. Honestly.
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Podcast Host 1
And then she's, like, holding his head, like. Like, Nest is like, Nesta rules. But then they all realize, and even Pharaoh sees, like, through the cauldron. Because, remember, Feyre was watching all this through the cauldron. She's like that. That even though the king is dead, the battle is so large that it's not going to stop.
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Podcast Host 2
No.
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Podcast Host 1
Like, there's too many independent parts.
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Podcast Host 2
Tell everybody there's no way.
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Podcast Host 1
So that's when Amren yells at Feyre not to give in. She's like, you need to pull back. And then she prepares to jump into the cauldron.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay.
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Podcast Host 1
And she's like, look. What are you doing? She's like, no. And she, like. Amren's like, I got to do this. And then Prince Varian appears.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay.
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Podcast Host 1
Because I don't know how. I don't know where this guy was, but he shows up and begs Amren not to do this. And she's like, no, I have to do this. And then she warns them. She's like, when you. When. If you. When you see my true form, like, back up, I won't know who you are.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay. Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
And. And then she looks at him. She's like, you know, if I could have loved anyone, like, it would have been you. Or, like, you taught me you're the closest thing to teach me to love something weird like. Like that. And then she jumps in the cauldron.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
And then when she jumps in, Feyre is able to take her hand off. And then they run and, like, jump. And then the cauldron explodes.
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Podcast Host 2
Oh, okay.
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Podcast Host 1
Explodes. And out of it, Amron's true form appears. It's a giant light angel with, like, a big halo and, like, fire. And it's just, like, huge. It's massive. And it just destroys all the bad guys. Every. All bad guys just turn into dust. And then she turns into dust. She, like, kind of turns into starlight, kind of, like, just dissipates. And then everyone.
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Podcast Host 2
Maker would have love that. He love stars.
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Podcast Host 1
Yeah. And everyone's, like, kind of celebrating. They're like, we won. However, there's a problem. Fey can feel it immediately. That should have been the end of the story right there.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah, that should.
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Podcast Host 1
It should have been, but there's so much more. Feyre feels the cauldron, and she realizes that even though it's been destroyed, that there is some sort of weird void. The beginning. The. The emptiness that is the beginning of the world exists inside the cauldron. Because the cauldron itself is like a metaphor for the big Bang or something weird like that. And she's like, this void is growing. It will destroy everything. And. And it's a wormhole. It's a wormhole.
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Podcast Host 2
Got it.
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Podcast Host 1
Ricin explains to her, like, he's like, you need to reforge the cauldron. And. But she's like, I'm out of power. He's like, so use mine. And together they, like, hold hands and they reforge the cauldron.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay.
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Podcast Host 1
And it's like, this whole thing, and it's beautiful, and they're explaining. And at the very end, Ryson turns to me, because I love you. And then she opens her eyes and sees the cauldron reformed. And she turns around a rice and is dead because it was the last of his power. He's laying on the ground dead. The end of story.
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Podcast Host 2
Shut the.
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Podcast Host 1
No, it doesn't end there. Why would it end there? Because that would make sense and be good and beautiful. No, this is a book, and he needs to exist for more books.
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Podcast Host 2
They bring it back.
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Podcast Host 1
Of course they bring it back. Feyre does the exact thing they did in book one. She screams @ all the high lords to do the trick.
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Podcast Host 2
Do the thing, guys.
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Podcast Host 1
Do the thing for book one. And they're like, hey, that only works on humans. We think. We don't know. We don't really know how anything works.
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Podcast Host 2
Let's try it.
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Podcast Host 1
And she's like, fuck it. Do it again. And then they all do it.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
And the Last one to do. And they even teach her, like, how to make the little p. It's like a little pee drop of light. And then Tamlin is the last one to drop his. No. He walks up and he tells her to be happy, and he drops his last little bit of power into her. And then Ryson comes back to life, and he tells the High Wool. It says, don't worry. I didn't steal any of your shit like she did. And he's like, yeah, he's real bitchy about it. And then he goes, hey, but look who I found while I was on the other side. And then Amren pops out of the cauldron, except she doesn't have her God powers anymore. She's just a High Fae now. Okay, so. Yep. Then we cut, and it's Feyre. Nesta and Elaine are saying a prayer to their dead dad because they're burying him. And then they burn his body like he's Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi.
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Podcast Host 2
Got it.
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Podcast Host 1
And then Lucian shows up, and he kind of tells them, like, hey, just, you know, here's like, all the backstory what your dad did. And then Elaine invites Lucian to the townhouse. You should go back with us. And, like, okay, so, like, Elaine does.
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Podcast Host 2
Gross. Got it.
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Podcast Host 1
And then Drake on. And Miriam had made peace with Jurian because of Morrigan. And then Feyron asks Drake on and Miriam to hide the cauldron on Critia because they're like, yeah, you know, our. Our island. Like, we've. We've been on the island the whole time. We just put too good of a glamour on it, so nobody ever, like, checked.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
So, like, we've been there the whole time. And then there is a massive High Lord meeting at the Feyre's estate. Like, their old estate, which is mostly burned down, and they have a crazy meeting, and where they're like, we're gonna work out the new. This is gonna be the new peace treaty between humans and fairies. We need to have a new peace now. There's no wall. And as they're setting that thing up, the Firebird Queen sets up a future book with Feyre. She's like, you shout me with my curse, and nobody gives a shit. And she also tells her, your dad was great. There's, like, a lot of just, like, people just keep showing up, being like, your dad was awesome, by the way. I know we haven't talked about him.
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Podcast Host 2
There's nothing worse. There's no worse feeling than having a bad parent. That is nice. To everybody else. And everybody's like, oh, my God, they're the best. And you're like, you have no idea what I was dealing with.
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Podcast Host 1
But wait, yeah. Then Feyre gets her good moment, okay? Because they introduce her to Nepheli, the lesbian cartographer with lopsided wings. She gets to me and she's like, you're my everything. I learned so much from you and your story. Your story holds space with me.
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Podcast Host 2
You're holding space with me.
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Podcast Host 1
I'm holding space. Your story about defying gravity.
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Podcast Host 2
No. I knew this was a promo for Wicked.
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Podcast Host 1
Suck it. All right? Now they have their little meeting, and then they go back to the townhouse. Everyone's settling in. We get an unnecessary chapter, completely unnecessary chapter of Ryson in the kitchen with his boys, from his perspective, listening to everyone laugh in the other room. And the boys are like, nah, bro, it's real.
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Podcast Host 2
Okay, so that's just the bed jumping scene from Lord of the Rings.
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Podcast Host 1
Yes, but, like, the. Bro, it's real. You can rest now. Like that reveal. And then the. The story ends. Feyre meets Riccind on the roof of their row home. And she shows up and she's wearing sexy red lingerie and a sexy red little teddy.
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Podcast Host 2
On the roof.
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Podcast Host 1
On the roof. And she's like, oh. And they make a bargain there, okay, that if one of them dies, that they will never. They won't be separated again if that happens again, they'll die together.
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Podcast Host 2
Death pact.
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Podcast Host 1
Yeah, they basically make a death pact and then both of them get a new tattoo from that immediately.
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Podcast Host 2
Because this is tragic, this Getting tattoos for every.
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Podcast Host 1
Getting tattoos for your death pact is like very on the nose, 20 year old.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
Okay. And they don't have laser machines there. Okay. And then finally he mentions that they have to go that by Raxis, the library monster didn't come back. So, like, well, that's a side quest. They just kind of, like, throw that out there. Just like, yeah, maybe. Maybe people want to hear that. And then they take off to fly over Valeris. Except I keep remembering that she is in red lingerie.
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Podcast Host 2
She's in red lingerie.
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Podcast Host 1
Sarah J. Maas, I think forgot by the end of the chapter, but I pictured them taking off and flying, like.
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Podcast Host 2
So they were like Aladdin and Jasmine flying over the city to look around at the beauty. But she's in red, sexy red lingerie.
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Podcast Host 1
Yeah. Just dripping. Calm on everyone.
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Podcast Host 2
Somebody's just like, outside walking their dog in a late night.
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Podcast Host 1
There's like, I just gotta take the.
[101:11]
Podcast Host 2
Dog out to pee. One More time. And they look up and there's just.
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Podcast Host 1
A whole new world.
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Podcast Host 2
And is. Okay. Is that it?
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Podcast Host 1
But here's the thing is you're. You're picturing it that way. But I'm picturing as. As they take off together that it's the end of the Matrix where they start playing that Rage against the Machine song. Like that's what I'm picturing.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
And yes, that is it.
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Podcast Host 2
I. Okay. Shadow Daddy rockin her world.
[101:43]
Podcast Host 1
I needed to hit it one more time. And one more shout out to grief cat. Holy fuck. Thank you.
[101:48]
Podcast Host 2
I need to say something. I am so impressed with your ability to read this book. Explain it to me. I appreciate all the effort you put into this. A four hour journey that took months to make. And I got it. I gotta say I'm not super impressed with this book. And I like the one Sister Nesta Nesta. I thought the Bone Carver is pretty funny.
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Podcast Host 1
Yeah.
[102:18]
Podcast Host 2
I don't know. What do you think? What do you think of this book?
[102:21]
Podcast Host 1
I. I hated 80% of this book at a rate that I cannot actually put into words.
[102:27]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah. That's how you get demonetized.
[102:29]
Podcast Host 1
I really. The parts of it that I liked which were few and far between, I liked a lot. I understand why people like this book.
[102:37]
Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
But there's also a sunk cost fallacy with this book that gets worse and worse where it's like the thing I'll give her. She did not George R.R. martin us.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
It. She. She pumps these things out, man.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
Sarah J. Maas, she pumps them out because people want to hear. Now with all that being said, Mrs. P. Yeah. I. I think we should just like.
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Podcast Host 2
Go downstairs and vibe out and clear our brains.
[103:05]
Podcast Host 1
I think. Yeah. And I think we should all prepare for another year.
[103:11]
Podcast Host 2
No. Listen. Thank you everyone for listening. Thank you so much. If you made it all the way to the end of this. Oh my God. Thank you for listening to this episode. We hope you had a great holiday week. We hope that this episode hopefully made any type of transit you were doing and travel or even just like sitting in your room doing a coloring book and not thinking. I'm so happy. Thank you so much.
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Podcast Host 1
And last thing.
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Podcast Host 2
Yeah.
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Podcast Host 1
We're gonna say that I want you to put into the comments to prove that you made it this deep. I would just like you to all write Shadow Daddy. Shadow Daddy.
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Podcast Host 2
Shadow Daddy, y'all.
[103:56]
Podcast Host 1
Shadow Daddy, y'all. And thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Many Tabs. We. Like I said, we're taking this Sunday off the Happy Thanksgiving to everybody out there. And we will see you soon. And we'll be back in the future with all of our Patreon shout outs and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs. Open it too many times. Remember to smile.