
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY - 🌍 Patron - https://pearlmania500.net Watch Alex's new comedy special https://youtu.be/UWjPZArqK4A The Pearlman’s talk the tacky fashion choices of the shameless celebrities who showed up at the Bezos wedding. They also...
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You know, Mrs. P, some people like to say we listen and we don't judge.
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Not on this podcast.
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This is a judgment podcast. All right? Planet Fitness Judgment free zone.
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Not here.
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Absolutely not. This podcast is about casting judgment. Some people would say it's about drinking. The what?
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Haterade.
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That's right, Mrs. P. Because this is a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit across from each other in a room and they look at some of. On this episode, the richest, most powerful people in the entire world and how they dress like absolute dog shit while spending millions of dollars that should have been put towards taxes. So that way people don't die in our streets, huh?
A
Yeah. But instead they got ugly clothes and bad faces.
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That's exactly true. Ugly clothes and bad faces. Also known as the Jeff Bezos story. Today on Too Many Tabs, remember to smile. That's right, folks. All the listeners out there, all the Too Many tabbers, all the pearl maniacs who are joining us all. Last week, Mrs. P and I discussed the Bezos wedding.
A
Yeah, it was. We were in the middle of it.
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We were in the middle of it as, as.
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As viewers from the outside, not invited.
B
And we were just kind of looking at the whole general thing and we said, that's kind of crazy weird. We had some notes about it.
A
I had thoughts and opinions, as everyone does.
B
But now it's happened.
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It's over.
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It's over.
A
They're married.
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And we have now too many details because they thought people would like this.
A
They really thought this media blitz was going to be like, oh, they're so glamorous. They're so rich. It's like Jackie Owen, jfk.
B
Yeah.
A
It's Grace Kelly marrying a prince. None of that.
B
No, it's not.
A
It's trash. And all I want to do is talk trash about it.
B
Yeah. And we're also going to point out quite a few celebrities and some other billionaires who showed up to hang out at this incredible event.
A
Yeah.
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Where they literally rented a city.
A
Yeah. Just sometimes you just gotta. You know, when you pick a destination wedding.
B
Yeah.
A
It's all about getting the whole destination to yourself.
B
Yeah. It's about renting the entire destination and all of the infrastructure that's used to keep Citizens. Yeah.
A
And the. The government buildings and facilities. All of it.
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Yeah, all of that. But we don't. We're not going to focus too much on just that aspect of it. We really just want to look pretty deeply.
A
I want to talk about their bad fashion.
B
Yeah, you do.
A
I just want to talk about. I just. I want a girly pop gossip with you.
B
Yeah.
A
I. Okay. This is the way I. When I wrote this out. Okay. I figured. This is the Bezos wedding postmortem. Okay. This is a review. It's over. And we need to review some of the things that happened. It didn't happen there. Okay. The first thing I noticed. The first thing. And it's the biggest thing to me. They only invited 200 people to their wedding, right?
B
Yes.
A
That's for. For uber wealthy gazillionaire. That feels like a small wedding.
B
The third richest man in the world.
A
Yeah. Only 200 people, right. And out. Out of the 200 people, he has. No. They have no real friends. Yeah, they have no real friends. They just invited celebrities and other rich people that are not their friends. Frenemies, if you will.
B
Yeah.
A
And it's really sad.
B
Here's what's really crazy.
A
Right.
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Jeff Bezos owns. Well, he. I think he's now retired from Amazon.
A
Oh, okay.
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But he also has Blue Origin, which is the rocket company. The addiction shaped rocket company that he keeps shooting celebrities into space. And then weird laugh like. Like laughing at them.
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Need a better hobby, Jeff.
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It's the weirdest laugh in the world. But anyway, he has. So he has his employees and executives and people he's known who've come up through these companies. Yeah, not one of them, Jeff. I mean, maybe there was one of them, but like there.
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But.
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But I feel like if I was the third richest man in the world, I would be like, hey, all these executives that came up through my companies and these people that I would have built relationships with.
A
No, we needed all the Kardashians there. Every single one of them. If you were a Kardashian. Except for Rob, of course.
B
Yeah.
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Rob is never going to go nowhere.
B
The. He's the sock mogul.
A
He's. Yes.
B
Who I only know about because of 30. Right.
A
Let me talk about. Okay, so I got pictures here. Okay.
B
Okay, you got pictures.
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Chris Jenner, Mama bear over here.
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Okay.
A
She got that new face on. Okay, so we got a new face on Chris with her partner. And Chris's new face looks like Kim's old face.
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Got it.
A
So when I first saw this. Oh, Kim got a haircut Wrong. That's her mom.
B
That's the mom.
A
That's my. That's Kris Jenner.
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Oh, my God.
A
So she got that new face. Everybody in Hollywood's getting these new facial surgeries. These new, they're like special under tuck facelifts. Lindsay Lohan just got one. Allegedly.
B
You just described one to me.
A
Yeah, we were talking about the lady from the place in Mexico, Guadalajara. The Guadalajara facelift on TikTok.
B
Yeah.
A
Listen, if you don't have tick tock number one, I don't know how you found us because I don't. You're the gateway drug of TikTok. And they come here and they fall in love with me.
B
People have literally commented that we have an iTunes review, a five star iTunes review that said, I came for Mr. P, I stayed for Mrs. P. And I'm just very actual factual statement. There was. I'll tell, I'll say this. The first two years of the podcast, I was very upset about it. The second two years of the podcast, I've been fine.
A
I just accepted.
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Yeah, I just accept it at this point because, because here's the thing. I, I'll be on TikTok. I'll be screaming about, oh, they're building a concentration camp in the Everglades. And people like, oh my God, this is crazy. And then I come on here and you're like, there are women getting facelifts that are taking 30 years off their life in ways. Crazy. Yeah. You showed me this video, the Guadalajara.
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Yeah. This lady, she's like 50 something years old and she made a video of herself. She's flying down the Guadala Lahara to get this facelift that is like very similar to what the Kardashians and like the Lindo hands of the world are doing. And she posted the after and like the thing, it's crazy. If you have tik tok, you got to look. I'm sure it's on Instagram.
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She's a 54 year old woman. I think she's around there. She's like in her, in her mid-50s, mid, early mid-50s. And she, you know, she just looks like somebody who's 50. And then on the other side of it, I'm like, I would say 32.
A
She looks a solid 32.
B
Yeah.
A
And the thing is, the one thing is she has a downturn smile, naturally.
B
Like a downturn smile from living in America.
A
Well, yes, some people have downturn smiles.
B
Listen, listen. At 32, she's lived through the same last 22 years. The rest of us Have. Yeah. I think most of us have a downturn smile now.
A
So. But like the way that they really like Kevin kept it naturally and because like, and didn't lift it too much. It's crazy. Like I again, being a woman on the Internet, I notice certain things and I see certain things because it's just part of being a woman on the Internet and it's, it's such a crazy surgery. And as she's healing, it's getting better day and day because the swelling's going down. When she is fully healed, like a year from now, she's gonna look 26 and. But everybody on the Internet's freaking out because if you can go from her before and after, we're never going to know people's ages.
B
But it's also, it's also one of those things again that goes into the myth about the American medical like just American medical quality in general. Right. She flew down to Guadalajara, Mexico.
A
Yeah.
B
A place that I have always had associated because of American media.
A
Yeah.
B
With like drug cartels and like all sorts of like scary. Oh, we had to put the Mexico filter on. We crossed the border. But put everything in like a weird sepia tone and it's just like, no, I'm going to fly down there. I'm going to get this surgery. This life changing surgery.
A
Yeah.
B
The same way, like, the same way that sad white men are flying to Turkey.
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Oh, I love the videos of Turkey when they're all in the cafeteria.
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So good.
A
And they all have the little head scalp Johnson.
B
You know, it's great. I recently from last year when I did the comedy tour.
A
Yeah.
B
When I did that comedy tour last year. Going around, I. I actually put together enough miles.
A
Yeah.
B
That if we wanted to, we could.
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Go to Turkey for.
B
We could fly to Turkey for free. The surgery would still cost money.
A
Still cost us.
B
That would still cost money.
A
Really want a hairline surgery. Here's another thing I want to say.
B
They do other stuff there.
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I'm not yucking anyone's yum.
B
Yeah.
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Plastic surgery if you want it. God bless you. I'm happy for you. One day I'm going to Joan reverse it the fuck up myself after I die. Okay. Anyway, so anyway, they get the big surgeries. Okay. So that's Chris. Now we have Kim here. She's next in line. She looks.
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It's great. Real fast. Just going back to Chris Jenner.
A
Okay. I'm going back to Chris.
B
It looks crazy because Kris Jenner. You're right. Like she has made herself look like her daughter.
A
Yeah.
B
And, like, that's just so wild.
A
In fairness, her daughter does look like her.
B
No, I know that.
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What I'm saying is, like, Kris Jenner, 69 years old.
B
Nice.
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69.
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That's crazy.
A
And she looks 50ish right now. The best 50th you've ever seen.
B
Yeah.
A
She's also a Scorpio.
B
I don't know what that means, but.
A
Okay, I. You know what? Her being a Scorpio just makes. It lives in my brain, and I knew that. Okay, okay, wait. So I have Kim Kardashian.
B
Kim next. She looks like Kim.
A
She looks like Kim. But I need to say something about this dress. This dress. It's a lovely dress. That's a prom dress. That's a dress you get at the mall. That's a pro. I've seen.
B
That's from Dev.
A
Yeah. I've seen teen girls wear a dress that looks just like this.
B
So this dress. Let me go ahead and describe it for the listeners.
A
Please do.
B
Who are not watching. It's on the YouTube. It is. I want to say pleather. It's probably actually leather. There's probably some sort of composite. But it looks like that. And brass.
A
Yeah. It's a chocolate brown shimmery dress. And then under the bust and down the leg line and it has, like, silver grommets almost.
B
Yeah.
A
It reads prom.
B
It reads. You know what it reads? It reads cowboy country prom.
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Cowboy country prom.
B
Because that. That's what it looks like. It looks almost like chaps.
A
Yes.
B
Like the way the pattern is running around her hips. And then I know that this. This. Would this be considered a pencil or this be a mermaid?
A
We can't tell from this picture. Because she's getting onto a boat.
B
Yeah, because they're all getting onto boats.
A
They're all getting on the boats to go to the private island because they rented wedding is.
B
And mind you, they rented every boat.
A
Every boat.
B
Every boat has. Every boat has been rented. Every hotel has been rented. Because Jeff didn't want to deal with too many tourists.
A
Yeah, Obviously.
B
So he had to make sure. At the tourist island that is run by a tourist economy.
A
Okay.
B
But yeah, she just looks like. She looks like Kim.
A
I'm just saying there was a moment in time. I've never been a Kim Kardashian stand girl. I don't think her fashions are the best. She's nothing I've looked up to. She. There was a moment where what Kim wore changed the trajectory of fashion for a large chunk of the girly pops across the globe.
B
Yeah.
A
And now she has fallen so far from that pedestal of being a fashion icon. Girly.
B
Yeah.
A
To wearing what I picture as a mall prom dress at the richest. This is the third. You said third richest man in the world's wedding.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay. All right. Okay. Next.
B
Well, one thing real before you go running off is there's a few things we have to note about that.
A
Okay, go ahead.
B
Which is that Kim Kardashian, I think is a billionaire because of skims.
A
I think she's a billionaire because they all don't pay taxes because they funnel their money through the church that Kris Jenner started, which we covered on the episode I did about the Kardashians three years ago.
B
Yeah.
A
Which we will link in the show.
B
Notes, which I think, again, is such an early episode that it isn't even on YouTube.
A
Audio is going to be weird, guys. We were very new.
B
We were very new.
A
Please forgive our old audio.
B
Yeah, but that was. I think that might have been, like, episode.
A
It was an incredible episode.
B
It was before Finding Jolo. Yeah, but the. The. The. The thing is, in general about them all is, again, they. They don't have to go to things like this.
A
Why?
B
You know what I mean? Like, they don't have to. And so it's very bizarre. But again, she also do have to.
A
Because their whole thing is being. Having pictures taken. That's their job.
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That's their job.
A
Her job. But again, pictures.
B
But again, they have a unspendable amount of money now.
A
Yes.
B
Unless that. Unless that there's something. Unless they have a big furnace in their basement where they have to shovel a certain amount of money into it every day to burn.
A
Yeah, right.
B
To make sure that they aren't dragged back to hell by the demons they signed a contract with. Maybe that is what's doing.
A
You know what? I feel like that. You know how people always talk about how in Hollywood, the UN Calabasas, there's like, secret caves and tunnels under their house?
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I don't know what you're talking.
A
And I think that if there are. That's where they're burning the money, then.
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The secret caves under Calabasas, I'm going to Listen. I don't throw this out. I don't throw this out too much. I'm going to. I have a feeling that's. That's anti Semitic. Anytime they're like, yeah, the Hollywood, there's secret tunnels.
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I'm like, well, ever since the tunnels.
B
I know, I know. Ever since tunnel Jews became real in New York, we've all been Fucked. Okay.
A
Ever since these cute weirdos have been saying stuff like that. And then. And then what did they do? They said, you know what? You know what? We could. We could do a tunnel.
B
I know. And why the fuck. Why did they have to have like. And on top of that, they were Orthodox Jews, so it's not even. Just like, it was a guy, and they're like, oh, upon further inspection, he happened to be Jewish. He had the hat on. Come on. Tunnel Jews was a crazy day.
A
Crazy time.
B
All right, all right. So we. There's Kim Kardashian, Kylie. God, we're still in the Kardashians. There's so many of them.
A
So we have Kylie here. She looks. Okay. This looks like Victoria's Secret from 2002.
B
It looks like somebody.
A
The top. Like, the top is a bra from Victoria's Secret. It's even got the little black bows on the corner. Yeah, it's. And then she's like a bodice in a basic chignon. And. Yeah. This is actually a dress. I think I've seen Kim Kardashian wear before.
B
And there's a stitch pattern running down the entire length of it. But also, I just want to say.
A
It'S looking like a baseball glove.
B
It's silver.
A
Yeah.
B
To me, it looks like if you ordered a. The movie Metropolis from Wish.
A
Got it.
B
This is a. This is like a Metropolis cost. Okay. You know how at Disney World.
A
Yeah.
B
You're not allowed to go in full cosplay.
A
Yes.
B
But people will dress, you know, Disney bounding. Yes. Disney bounding.
A
Disney.
B
She is Disney bounding. The movie Metropolis. She is the robot from Metropolis.
A
God.
B
And this is.
A
I've never seen Metropolis because I've never been on an American Airlines flight.
B
Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're thinking Megalopolis. Oh. You're thinking Francis Ford Coppola's Megalopolis, which you can. Airlines and at private screenings done by Francis Ford Coppola himself because the movie's such dog shit. And he spent, like, $120 million. Again, another person where just pure. There's so many examples of why taxes should go up for these people, and instead we go the opposite direction.
A
They just want to spend their money. Just give it away to the taxes.
B
Please just give it to the taxes. We'll spend it for you, buddy. We're going to build routes and Medicaid. Okay. No, no, I'm good. This podcast isn't about that.
A
Okay, let's go to the next one.
B
Okay, Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Real fast.
A
Okay.
B
No, no, no. The movie Metropolis.
A
Okay.
B
Getting away from it.
A
Sorry, I got to go back to.
B
The movie Metropolis and the. It's. It's about. It's about a robot, okay, that is designed to split the workers and all this different stuff. Yeah, it's a silent film.
A
Like the 30s.
B
Yeah, it's a silent film.
A
Yeah.
B
And I actually saw it in theaters, like, way back in like, 2009 or 2010. They found, like, an extra reel and they did, like, a re release of it. But the movie Metropolis is this really interesting movie that if you can't sit through silent films, it's super fucking boring. But yeah, it's about this dystopian city in the future, and it's like this split between the workers and the elites. And this robot is. At first, she is like a union organizer almost, but she's like this virginal maid and she's like, perfect. And she gets kidnapped and this mad scientist uses this robot to clone her. And it's like a horny robot and it goes and, like, dances for the men. And it, like. The whole city ends up, like, in this whole crazy, like, burning and like, the. The workers riot and all this, like, lunatic shit. But it's like. It's. It. It's. It's very crazy to me.
A
Yeah.
B
That this is. What's her name? Kylie.
A
That's Kylie.
B
That's Kylie. Okay. Not Chloe.
A
No, we're not at Chloe.
B
Okay, Chloe's there, too.
A
Yeah, of course.
B
Keep scrolling. Let's go. Who's next?
A
No, I think it's amazing that you picked up that movie specifically because she would never dress for that at a billionaire's wedding.
B
No.
A
I mean, no, because. No, because, you know, class consciousness at the Jeff.
B
No, because Kylie is the one that hands people the Pepsi.
A
Yeah. No, that's the wrong one. Let's go. That's Kendall. Here she is.
B
I don't know who that is. Why are there so many Kardashians?
A
Kendall Jenner. She is the one. The Pepsi one.
B
Oh, my God. This is her.
A
This is Kendall Jenner. She's wearing an all black number with a nice emerald necklace.
B
Is it nice? Is that nice?
A
It's okay. It's boring.
B
It looks. I mean, even if it's a real emerald, it's so. It's so green. It looks fake.
A
Yeah, I mean, it's probably real.
B
I know.
A
We're not gonna use like.
B
I know, but I'm saying it. It looks so real at this point because so few people are used to seeing emeralds of that size. Size on a full necklace of it that it looks like costume jewelry at this point.
A
Yes, I see what you're saying.
B
Yeah, you've gone. We've. We are so separated from wealth as people and as. And as. As actually viewing true wealth. Because. Especially from the Kardashians, because everything that they've. They wear and they do has been designed to be resold at the end of airings of Peacock, which I know now because Mrs. Pearl Mania, the psychopath over here has been making me watch fucking Love Island. And every love is ends with a QR code showing up on the screen and be like, you like what they were doing in here. Use this QR code brought to you by Wells Fargo so you can wear all the fashion. You can buy all the fashions that everyone here is wearing during the show. I'm like, what the fuck? Why are you. You've qvced. You have qvced my fucking slop television. They're supposed to be slop television. And QVC was separate but equal. Yeah, they were separate channels. You put them together with a QR code, you monsters.
A
Yeah, you know what?
B
Speaking of putting things together with QR code, let's take a quick break, okay? And let's hear from a sponsor. Unless you've joined us on promania500.net ad.
A
Free listening on the Patreon.
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On the Patreon. Just join us for $5. And you can listen to every episode, give or take, with ad and without ads. And an amazing comment section right after this. If your summer plans involve heating things up in the bedroom, look no further than Adam and Eve as America's most trusted source for sex toys. They've got you covered with stuff for men, women and groups. And yes, covered whether you want something ultra realistic looking or something cute and sparkly. No matter what you pick, it'll get the job done. And guys, I'm just going to leave it at this. We gave it a scroll. We gave it a scroll. Discreet packaging showed up directly to the door. And it was very easy to order. And it worked out quite well. Adam and eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush processing. Don't wait. Better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item. Free shipping with rush processing. Just go to AdamandEve.com, select any one item and use promo code TMT. That's TMT for too many tabs@adamandeve.com. this is an exclusive offer just for our fans, so act fast. AdamandEve.com, code TMT. And thank you to those sponsors for giving us money.
A
Thank you so much. We need it.
B
Can I tell you about one thing real fast before we get back into. Because I know that there's one Kardashian left, apparently. I was like, we're covering a commercial. And you're like, but they're still Chloe. I'm like, I don't give a shit. We this week to our listeners, and thank you to everyone who joins us on the Patreon, because Mrs. P. And I will call it a conversation. Is that how you want to.
A
Yeah, sure. We go.
B
We call it a conversation. Yes. I turned down a lot of gambling website money for this podcast this week. A lot. A lot of. They came in, they're like. And Mrs. P was like, I don't know. They said, it's really about, like, fantasy football. I was like, it's not. That's. Why do you think the big gambling companies all have draft in their name?
A
Huh?
B
Why do you think they have fantasy in their name? It all starts that way.
A
I was confused. I thought it was a fantasy football thing.
B
No.
A
Then you explained it to me that it's actually gambling. And then I was like, how high is the tag for me to sell my morals and ethics?
B
No. And here's.
A
And here's what we wasn't. Here's high enough.
B
Here's what we discovered. Here's what we discovered.
A
Yeah.
B
Mrs. P's sell, sell out point is, I'm gonna tell everybody right now it's much lower than mine.
A
It's a lot lower than mine.
B
It's much lower than mine. However, the difference that we have between us is Mrs. P will sell out for less, but she'll do a shitty job on purpose. I will sell out for a lot more, and I'll go whole hog on that thing. I'll do fucking tricks on it. All right, you roll up with me. Roll up to me. We're talking six, seven figures, baby. I will open up the back of my throat to show people how good your gambling website is, Mrs. P. Oh, one comma in the check. Well, okay. Well, we don't have to, like. We don't have to smile while we say it. I'm like, bit. No. Absolutely not. This is the reason why you stayed at some really shitty bar jobs a lot longer than me. I had a shitty job. I was out of there within six months because I complained. I fuck or stormed out. Maybe I punched a manager or two. There was that one guy. I said he was A bald.
A
He looks like a thumb.
B
I said he looked like a thumb with tits.
A
Yeah.
B
To his face as I stormed out. I can't tell you how many. When I worked at my third restaurant job ever, it was my first major storm out.
A
Yeah.
B
I actually, I told. I told. I said that the manager right to his face in front of a restaurant full of people. I called him a sucker. Right there on Live in front of a room full of. And this was. Ladies, gentlemen, this is in 2001.
A
Yeah.
B
People were not ready for that salty language while they ate Neapolitan pizza.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
They're like, oh, look at me. It's a good. I was like, no.
A
They're like, the pizzas are on the little holder on the top table.
B
Little holder. Yeah. Yeah.
A
I worked at a few of those type of restaurants. Yeah.
B
Yeah. But this was. This one was trying to pretend it was classy, and I was like, absolutely not.
A
No.
B
I told him to burn in hell. And then I stormed out. And I was like. I remember going home and my mom was like, what happened? And I told her, and she was like, why did you do that? And I said, well, they cut me from shifts. And then he told me to go refill somebody's water. And then she goes, all right, he deserved it.
A
Yeah. I was like, yeah, exactly. We're. So, anyway, if you want to support our podcast that. Please.
B
Join us.
A
Talking about Jeff Bezos shitty wedding.
B
Yeah. We'll get back to Khloe Kardashian.
A
Don't say it like that.
B
I'll say it however I damn well please.
A
Okay, so here's a picture of Chloe.
B
I know.
A
Wearing pink. She actually looks really cute. Okay, I'm not going to hate on this.
B
She looks cute, but this isn't a wedding attire.
A
I mean, what's the theme of this wedding?
B
Oh, well, the opulence, wealth and.
A
Yeah, if the theme is. We don't have a theme, then this is great. She's wearing ostrich fur feathers as her wrap. She's got this baby pink dress with a cute little bag.
B
It lifts and separates.
A
Yeah. She's got a very long diamond necklace going down between her boobies. She looks great. Good for her.
B
I think it's terrible.
A
Okay.
B
You can. You can think. It's fine. Listen, I think for the necklace, compared to that emerald, out of all the.
A
Sisters and the mom, she's the only outfit I like.
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
B
I. It feels. She's giving me Legally Blonde.
A
I think that's why I like it.
B
Is that why you like it an incredible film. But she has, she has black hair. So she, it's, it's at least know.
A
That the movie, her hair gets darker in the movie. You ever notice that?
B
No, I have not.
A
When they were making Legally Blonde in the very beginning of the movie, she has really light bleach. Leashy platinum. And as the movie progresses, her hair is still blonde, but it gets more of a dark gold color to signify that she's becoming more serious. So, like if you watch it, her hair gets darker as she, she gets more serious.
B
So you're telling me that Legally Blonde has reverse colorism in it.
A
Yes. Anyway, let's look at this next picture. Here's Leonardo DiCaprio.
B
Oh, I saw this. I saw this shit. I saw this shit.
A
Famous, this climate activist.
B
I saw this.
A
Who goes around talking about climate change and how we need to save the planet. And he made that movie, the don't look up movie or whatever.
B
And the beach, a lot of people forget about the beach. Which destroyed that beach.
A
Exactly.
B
The movie. The beach actually made it a tourist destination. Which then destroyed the exact beach.
A
Yeah.
B
That he made a movie about saving.
A
So this is a man who for years has been screaming about climate activism while screaming at his girlfriends as soon as they turn 26 to get out of the house.
B
Yeah.
A
Who is, at your age, worse than the planet at an eco terrorist wedding. And he's embarrassed about it. As he should be. And so every paparazzi picture, he has his baseball cap covering his face.
B
So actually here's, here's the thing. I'm going to, I'm going to give you a little, a little note.
A
I know, Go ahead.
B
Is he's not embarrassed about it. This is. He hates paparazzi. And so he is doing this because he doesn't want it. Because anytime Leo is pictured.
A
Yeah.
B
He always pulls his baseball cap down. Because I saw a few people noting this. The difference is. And this is how you can tell he's not embarrassed.
A
Yeah.
B
Is he went out of his way to make sure it was an all black hat. Usually he's wearing like a New York Yankees hat that he has pulled down. He made sure it was an all black hat to match the black tie tuxedo he was wearing. So it's almost as if he's doing a little play with. For the paparazzi and then people can read into it that he's embarrassed. If he was truly embarrassed, he wouldn't have walked out of the front of the fucking hotel to get into the fucking boat. He would have snuck over some other different way also.
A
Are you telling me he's not loyal? Because I'm looking at this hat and it says l. A. Dodgers.
B
Maybe it's the Dodgers. I don't know. I can't remember.
A
If you're going to stay in a team, you got to stick with it.
B
Yeah, Okay. I mean, I'm not going to wear.
A
A fucking Mets hat.
B
Yeah, I didn't. I didn't. I can't. I can't from this angle. Okay, got it.
A
It's.
B
Yeah, it's one of the all black. The black on black hats. But no, this is one of those things with him in general. Also. Also famously, Leonardo DiCaprio, you know, he came to Philly, Okay. He came to Philly in 2024 to support the Kamala Harris campaign.
A
Oh.
B
And then he is there at Jeff Bezos. His wedding. And Jeff Bezos, as the owner of the Washington Post, nuked the Washington Post's endorsement of Kamala Harris and then stated that moving forward, the Washington Post would no longer endorse any candidates and has now been printing a lot of anti, you know, I'd say probably propaganda against Democrats.
A
Some could say that candidates.
B
And also attacking anyone who speaks out against, you know, the major league capitalist agenda that he is pushing for in his new idea that all op EDS should be pushing for more free markets.
A
Oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool. So here's a picture of Usher and Tom Brady together. They were there together. They were hanging out. Usher and Tom Brady. Usher probably taking a big sigh of relief because P. Diddy got found not guilty. Tom Brady wondering why he left his cool wife.
B
Yeah, and this is. This is right before that. But yeah. Usher, man. Usher. Come on, buddy. It's. I don't really expect.
A
Sure.
B
Can I tell you something? I don't expect anything better from any of these people.
A
Yeah.
B
No, but when they. When it's. When it's blatant. You know what I mean? Like, that's how it always feels. It's always. It's always just like we end up having head cannon about people. You know what I mean? Like, I know that Usher, back in the day would just in. Especially in the early 2000s, he and a lot of R B stars, they'd put any mobile device. If you go back and you watch, there's so many phones, baby, everywhere. Motorola, Razer phones.
A
That's why they're making their own brands of, like, liquor. I remember, wasn't it. This is rock. That was Diddy's brand, I think. And, like, he's because they were like singing songs. And so many of them would shout out liquor brands, and then the liquor.
B
Brands would go up. Well, Hennessy was the big one. And then Hennessy came out to be anti black.
A
Yeah. And so they were like, oh, we'll make our own then.
B
Yeah, exactly. Which is. Oh, smooth. Like, don't get wrong. That's an amazing move. But so many of them sold into this. And then Tom Brady being there because he's just a bag of shit mag Republican asshole.
A
A black suit with a black tie. But the black tie isn't fully black enough.
B
It's not the right color.
A
And so it kind of looks navy blue.
B
Yeah.
A
Just terrible. Need a stylist.
B
Yeah. Usher's suit was fine.
A
Okay, now here's a picture of Orlando Bloom I found.
B
That's Orlando Bloom.
A
Now, he is.
B
That is an old man.
A
And if you're wondering who Orlando Bloom is, Orlando Bloom famously, fun fact, starred in the 2001 Liv Tyler trilogy, Lord of the Rings.
B
Oh, Jesus Christ. Why are you doing this to me?
A
That actually was a comment someone left on our last episode, Shout Out. I believe her name was Dana Olson. I loved it. I giggled for days when I read.
B
I. I am.
A
But he looks miserable.
B
But he also looks old.
A
Yeah. Can you imagine being married to Katy Perry?
B
He looks so old. I need to zoom in on his. How do I zoom in on his face?
A
Oh, no, no, no.
B
I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I need to see. I need to see what happens. Oh, my God.
A
This is what happens.
B
No, because this is what happened. I'm going to tell you what. What this is.
A
Yeah.
B
This is Maha right there, baby. That's what happened to that face. That is a face that is not using sunscreen because he was told that there were the wrong things in it.
A
Okay.
B
You know what I mean? That are going to block your chakras or whatever. And then he's been out there. He's been boarding. He's been out there on the hydrofoil with Mark Zuckerberg, right?
A
Yeah.
B
He's been out there just doing all this different stuff. And then, you know, Mark Zuckerberg used to take great care of his skin.
A
Yep.
B
And now look at him now. Now he's on a hydrofoil holding an American flag, trying to claim that he's super cool. Mark Zuckerberg wasn't back when you had an alien face. No, Mark Zuckerberg wasn't. No, no. Elon Musk wasn't either.
A
So I guess they're not friends.
B
And I guess they're not friends because.
A
But again, these are like a real friends were invited, right? Like, these people are definitely his closest friends. Also in the back, Orlando Bloom, looking.
B
Like a friend right now. Looking like a friend who's about to try and be like, jeff, you're making a mistake. Jeff. She's just in it for the money.
A
Meanwhile, standing behind him is actually Tommy Hilfiger. I just noticed that.
B
Oh, is that Tommy Hilfiger behind him?
A
Behind him.
B
Tommy, no, I can't wear your stuff.
A
Okay, next up, Oprah and Gail, baby.
B
Oh, look at them.
A
Oh, okay.
B
I am not shocked.
A
Famously went up in the spaceship so we already.
B
And then got real mad that everyone was like, gail, shut up.
A
And she was like, I don't know why you guys aren't happy for me.
B
Yeah, Gail. Cuz you. You didn't. You just got real high, Gail. Yeah, you got real high. That was it.
A
And we were like, nobody cares. Also, okay, so Ellie Goulding was there. Bill Gates was there. Musk and Zuck weren't there. Yep. And I do want to give a little insider is that I was telling you about how I was putting this together because I was roasting all this. I was like, putting this all together. And you were like, well, those are the celebrities who were the other, like, billionaire millionaires that were there. Psst.
B
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A
The Kushners were there. Ivanka and Jared.
B
Now hold on real quick before you get into that. That there's. I knew. Gossip about this part.
A
Okay.
B
Because the whole. Right now, Trump and Elon, they've been in their split. They're in split too.
A
They are doing the same thing every shitty couple on Facebook does. Yeah, they keep breaking up and getting back together.
B
Yeah, but they're doing a breakup again. And right now all of the billionaires. Because remember, Elon was calling himself the first buddy.
A
Yeah.
B
And he was staying over the White House all the time. He was jumping around xx. All that little stuff. Kid was rubbing boogers on the desk. So now the Bezos and Zuckerberg both have been trying to ingratiate their self with this White House and specifically with Trump. Bezos did that by inviting Donald Trump directly to the wedding.
A
Yeah, this guest list sucks.
B
And Donald Trump ended up being like, I'm too busy because I'm the president. Because I'm the president. You know, I got.
A
I got not busy. All he does is play golf and do fascism and fudgeing.
B
Yeah. He just sits around all day being like, we should denaturalize. We should take away the citizens citizenship of all these different people, including Elon now.
A
Yeah.
B
But also he wants to go after Zoran Mandani and all these other different people. It's just what this is. Anyway, so that's why Ivanka and Jared are there, however, with the Zuck side of things. Zuck was just at the White House around the same time, and there was a big deal because they were having, like, like, super secret, like, military talks.
A
Okay.
B
And Zuck was in the Oval and, like, generals were like, you gonna. Is he gonna leave?
A
Yeah.
B
And Zuck just sat in the corner.
A
He chaired it.
B
Yeah, yeah. Chaired the president during, like, top secret meetings.
A
Just. Just watching the guy that steals all the data.
B
Yeah.
A
Scrapes it out of every Facebook and Instagram.
B
Anyway, follow us on Instagram. Romania 500. Here, we'll. We'll put him up right here. I'm just making sure Mr. Third looks up. Damn it. Another thing to do.
A
No other option. Okay, so.
B
But anyway, Oprah's there, Ivanka and Jared.
A
And then I knew that Carly Kloss, famously, allegedly Taylor Swift's ex, girlfriend, best friend, whatever.
B
Xbff.
A
I think they were dating. Whatever.
B
Yeah.
A
She married the other Kushner boy who I looked up because I was like, I don't even know his name. His name's Josh. Yeah, but you know what's so crazy? Josh and Jared. Ugh. Yeah, Josh and Jared.
B
And their dad is a criminal who is also the ambassador to France. Now.
A
Josh and Jared.
B
And real quick, I didn't know about the Karlie Kloss thing. You were actually the one that taught me about Karlie Kloss. Because of the brunch that was dinner with the Kushners. What was that from? Was that from. What do you mean?
A
I don't remember what we're talking about.
B
The reality show where. There's a reality show.
A
Okay.
B
Where Karlie Kloss was a. A judge.
A
Oh, right, right, right.
B
It's not. It's the designer show. Right. Isn't it the one with James Gunn. Not James Gunn.
A
Tim Gunn.
B
Tim Gunn. James Gunn is Superman, but Tim Gunn.
A
Yeah.
B
And. And Carlie Kloss was like a judge and he's just like judging like a look or something.
A
Project Runway.
B
Project Runway. Thank you. And he said something and the exact quotes like, hit me with it. Somebody hit me with this quote.
A
I don't know what it is.
B
You don't remember the quote about the Kushner's?
A
I don't remember.
B
Somebody's gotta find it, put it in the comments.
A
Because I don't remember, because I used to have a brain, but then I had a baby and it scrambled my brain.
B
Yeah. But anyway, it was like, how was dinner with the Kushners? It was like, how is the quote? And then it's. It's a fucking crazy moment during that. And they. It just.
A
Oh, one of the contestants. Yes. One of the contestants said, oh, my God, my brain. This is what happens. This happens. Number one, I watched Love island and that melted anything, so the little bit left. I don't remember anything.
B
And real quick, before y' all get in the comments about Love island, we're only up to like episode three.
A
We don't know.
B
We don't know anything else.
A
One at a time, like one a night. Because we both.
B
This is what it was. This it was. Was one of the contestants, Karlie Kloss, said that she wouldn't even. That she wouldn't wear the look.
A
Oh.
B
And he looked at it and went, not even to dinner with the Kushners. I cannot see Carly wearing it anywhere. Honestly. Not even to dinner with the Kushners.
A
Ah, bitchy.
B
I love it. I know. And it's the same thing that I think about all the time whenever Theo Vaughn says fucking anything. That's right. I noticed last episode I didn't talk shit on Theo Vaughn. Theo Vaughan having brunch with the fucking Kushner's. You fucking goddamn class traitor. Fuck you, Cleo Vaughn. I hope you never forget this. I hope you never forget that you have turned your back on everything that got you there. You motherfucker.
A
Anyway, we were looking up this stuff about the different billionaires. Different billionaires. And you found this guy, Barry Diller.
B
Yes.
A
And I don't know who that is.
B
So this is the fun part of the list. We're going down the list of all these different people that are there. And the best list had was from People magazine. And People magazine actually had a lot of exclusive access.
A
Yeah. You started telling me stuff you were reading on People magazine. And I'm like, I've been researching this all week. I didn't see any of this.
B
Yeah. Because it was on people.com.
A
Yeah.
B
And the thing is.
A
And who goes there?
B
Yeah, exactly. Like, who looks at People magazine still? And so I'm like, looking at this and I'm reading you the list and I was showing you some different stuff from it. And in this case, you looked, you're like, well, who owns. I'm like, well, who owns People magazine? How did they get this?
A
Yeah.
B
And People magazine, the big media holding company, is owned by Barry Diller, who was in attendance. Who was in attendance and who is a close personal friend of Jeff Bezos. And then we're like, well, who the fuck is Barry Diller? And then y'.
A
All.
B
The fucking. The nightmare rabbit hole. I started going down.
A
Yeah.
B
A Barry Diller IAC and Expedia Media Group. The Expedia Group. And basically. So this is where we need to start with this guy. Almost every single media conglomerate has been touched by Barry Diller.
A
Yeah.
B
Barry Diller and Rupert Murdoch founded the Fox Corporation.
A
Yep.
B
This is the man who greenlit the Simpsons and who also, like, pushed all of this different stuff. But he is just this nightmare where he's existed in the background the entire time about all this different stuff. He was the founding force to of. Of qvc and then he left QVC and then he acquired HSN and then eventually merged them back together again. He went through and be in the 2000s, became the chairman of Expedia. He's been on the board of Coca Cola. He's done all of this like, insane shit. But also at the same exact time, he has like, greenlit a lot of stuff that we've all loved.
A
Yeah.
B
And like also co produced like Broadway shows. All of this different shit. But in the background, he's also been the trainer of so many of the major, major media executives that we know today, like Michael Eisner, who's been over at Disney. Jeffrey Katzenberg, he's who did. Was a co founder of DreamWorks. There's all these other different people and they're known as the Killer Dillers.
A
Oh.
B
Because much like Jeff Bezos. Bezos. Amazon executives are known as like, they have like a nickname. It's like Amazon Hole or something like that. But it's basically like if you were an executive at Amazon, you became such a dick.
A
Yeah.
B
And that because they trained you to not give a shit about people, it was all about cost cutting and efficiency. Cost cutting and efficiency. Cost cutting and efficiency. That when Amazon executives go to other companies.
A
Yeah.
B
And they're like, oh, we want to be at that more like Amazon Spice. They show up, people are like, oh, my God, they're robots.
A
Yeah.
B
Who treat every single person as an Excel sell that they're trying to rip apart for any fucking tiny little dime.
A
Yeah.
B
And so these executives are very similar to that in that they spend all of their time of just like, how do we. How do we combine more media things? How do we get the most out of the return of every single asset? How do we fuck over unions? How do we cut writers out? How do we make sure that people don't get residuals in these ways? And so, like, he's been accused of a lot of really fucked up stuff in the background. But the biggest thing to me is when looking at his political activity, because again, he's been in California the entire time and all this different stuff. So he's like old school Hollywood, tied in that way where, like, he is a Democrat, but in that way of trying to keep the Democrats centrist. Right. Like, he was a big backer of Barack Obama, but he liked Michael Bloomberg as mayor, who was Republican. And Michael Bloomberg has left the Republican Party and famously become independent, has now moved to become a Democrat. Diller went heavily. Was very anti Trump.
A
Okay.
B
Was very anti Trump. It's only 2020. He spent a lot of money and he spoke a lot about how he could not have Elizabeth Warren as president. Yeah, that was his line. He said if Elizabeth Warren became president, he would nominate. He would. He would back Trump. And in 2024, when he called for Joe Biden to step down because of the. Remember, it was a year ago when Joe Biden had that awful debate performance and a lot of people stepped forward immediately, like, listen, dude, you gotta go. Like, we all just watched you sundown in front of the nation. This was terrible. He did say that Joe Biden should step down. And then when as that was happening, he was like, great, now that Kamala Harris is here, you should get rid of Lena Khan. You should get at the ftc. And Lena Khan was the leading force on the Biden administration for a lot of regulations that really helped people.
A
Yeah.
B
The idea that was floated that we. That was only there for like a minute. There was a rule where if you could sign up for something online, you should be able to also quit it online.
A
Yeah.
B
Specifically like things like gym memberships. Anyone who's ever had a gym membership at like a shady gym that isn't like the ymca, you know, you go in or you go online like, yeah, I want to sign up for this gym membership. Like. And then you go, okay, I want to. I don't want to use this gym anymore, I'm moving or whatever. They make you go to the branch.
A
And have you write a letter and print it.
B
One, we had a fax, notary Republic scientist. We had all this fucking shit over and over and over again. But the craziest quote I found.
A
Yeah.
B
About all of this different stuff is two different quotes. Number one was he had an interview with Maureen Down. Barry Diller had an interview with Maureen down. And she asked him if he regretted anything. And he did say his one regret was that I introduced Rupert Murdoch to Roger Ailes.
A
Okay?
B
So for those of you guys who don't know Rupert Murdoch owns Fox News, okay. He's the reason a lot of your grandparents and parents brains were rotted.
A
Yep.
B
And Roger Ailes was the man who designed and ran Fox News until about 2017, 2018, when he got me to ed out of. He was such a monster that even Fox News couldn't defend him. But he's the reason for all of the programming, all of the ways. And Roger Ailes got his start. I know it's girly pop season, but I gotta bring up Gerald Ford. Gerald Ford. Ford was the president who came in after Richard Nixon. And what Roger Ailes, Dick Cheney, all these other monsters did. They stood around and looked at what happened and why Richard Nixon had to resign because of Watergate. And they said, the reason we had to resign was because of the media. It's because we didn't have control of the Washington Post, because we didn't have a counter programming out there to push back against CBS and against NBC and against pbs. So they designed Fox News to be that counter programming. So when the rest of the media is going, hey, is the President building a concentration camp in the Florida Evergrades? The Fox News can step so forward and say, actually, Zoran Mamdani is pretending to be a foreigner by eating rice with his hands because he's virtue signaling. And you're like, what the fuck are you talking about? That is a real argument that's happening right now in America. But my final quote, and I'll read this before we throw to break, which will probably be ironically an Amazon ad because Prime Day is coming up, so they're doing a bunch of spending. Not by me. It's whatever the programmatic ad is going to be. Yeah, he actually spoke out and defended, defended Jeff Bezos killing of the Washington Post endorsement of Kamala Harris Diller said that the. And also with Paramount settling their lawsuit with Donald Trump.
A
Yeah.
B
In both cases, he defended billionaires, quote, bending the knee to all of the things of the Trump administration. And he said, quote, the idea of settling this idiot suit is horrible, but he found it understandable to, quote, bend the knee if there's a guillotine at your head. So, Barry Diller, when a guillotine is being positioned for the rich, they should bend the knee to the will of whoever controls the guillotine. Eh? So it would be a class war if the poor or the middle class control the guillotine. Barry Diller, is that what I'm hearing from you? That would be a class war. But when one of your own class. A fellow. A fellow billionaire wearing possibly Turkish hair plugs and some orange makeup, when he controls the guillotine, then it's acceptable to bend the knee to save your head, because that's not a class war. No, no, no, no. That is just a tit for tat. Good job, Barry. And I hope you keep doing great work at People magazine. We'll be right back after this. Trip planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand. We were made to help you and your friends find a place on the beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and a soaking tub. Expedia made to travel. You know, Mrs. P, I can't decide what's more important this week. Was it 4th of July or was it Prime Day? Who knows? It doesn't matter. We're not getting money from the government or our real government, Jeff fucking Bezos. Anyway, real quick, when we were going down that list of billionaires.
A
Yeah.
B
There was one more.
A
They were in attendance at Jeff Bezos.
B
At Jeff Bezos wedding.
A
Yeah.
B
Sam Altman was there. Do you know who that is?
A
That's that weird little guy with the weird little hair. Right. I'm picturing him. He's got, like, brown curly hair.
B
Yes. Yeah, he has weird brown curly hair. And he's been accused in the past of abusing his sister before he was kicked off of OpenAI. So OpenAI is ChatGPT. Oh, so he is. He is the CEO of Chat GPT.
A
Oh, so he might be the devil.
B
He is the devil. But he is a paper billionaire because his shares in chatbots, which is considered supposed to be a nonprofit, but his shares in that make him a billionaire. And. But he is also heavily aligned with the Trump administration the same way Jeff Bezos is. So him being there is also him Showing his allegiance. So this, this wedding.
A
Wedding isn't about a wedding at all.
B
No, this is also.
A
We're not celebrating love.
B
No, no, we are. I think what people need is that we're in a. We're in a transition of an oligarchy and a monarchy at the same time. Oh, okay. Because right now, everyone is positioning themselves and finding out where their alliances and allegiances are. So that way, who will be safe once we transition fully from no longer being a democratic republic, or at least pretending we're a democratic. Ok, you see? So that way guys like Jeff Bezos would be like, oh, yeah, I got my boy, Sam Altman. So that's my AI guy over here. Right. I got. Oh, look, Bill Gates is here. Because Bill Gates was also there.
A
Yep, yep, yep.
B
We're all aligned over here in this group. Right. Then Zuck's over here doing his own thing. And then Elon is just.
A
On the academy.
B
Yeah.
A
You know, well, it's like in France, in Versailles, like when they had like. Like they had to go and party at Versailles and be a part of the whole thing. So the king knew who they were.
B
Yeah.
A
And then if. If at any point he got mad at you, he'd kick you out of Versailles.
B
You can't do. The idea of Versailles and court culture in general was created because you couldn't do a coup against the king if you were too busy holding his toilet paper literally like that. It was the privy council. The idea of privy council. Today we're like, oh, it's privy council. That means that they're very close to the king. No, that means you were literally in the toilet with him. Your job was to be the one who handed him his ass wipe rag. You know what? Actually, because they didn't have toilet paper back then. Just so you guys know, toilet paper wasn't invented, like, the 1870s. We had the Second Amendment long before we had toilet paper. I looked it up. The founding fathers used to wipe their ass with corn cobs and sawdust. It's a.
A
We saw dust.
B
Yeah, they used sawdust and old corn cobs. Used corn cobs.
A
I guess they were exfoliating.
B
Yeah, they got back there. It was that or you could get a bidet from people who will not sponsor us for some reason because they're not doing ad buys right now due to tariffs. Anyway, the, the, the, the. Back to Versailles.
A
Versailles.
B
The whole idea, though, was you wanted to be in there because that's where you could have the most secretive conversation, because only the elite of the elite could Watch the King shit.
A
Yep.
B
And then talk to him while he was in there as part of that routine. So if you're watching me poop, there's no way you can be out in a field putting together an army of Burgundians to come and revolt against me as the King. The same way, if Sam Altman is right here or Mark Zuckerberg is sitting in his chair in the corner of the Oval Office, there's no way that he could be turning around and using Instagram and Facebook to try to ferment a rebellion against me the same way he did back with the Arab spring back in 2011, alongside with.
A
The one problem with this. This situation, if you will, is that back then, right, the King would have a private restroom and he would go to the bathroom. And this, he's talking to his secret guys on the loo. Right. You can watch our president on live tv.
B
Because he's wearing a diaper.
A
Because he's wearing a diaper.
B
Yeah.
A
And yeah, we're all privy people now.
B
Well, even more important is we're all getting his private thoughts while he's on the toilet.
A
Yeah. Because he just goes on the truth social.
B
Yeah. He's just blasting everybody with Zora mom down. He is gonna. He's actually gonna. We're gonna to deport him back to you. This is one of. One of the things.
A
Quick aside, Quick aside.
B
Quick. I'm going to keep this one real quick.
A
Okay, go ahead.
B
Because I've noticed some Internet leftists have. I know that Zoram Andani is doing a good thing.
A
Yeah.
B
Because Internet leftists are attacking of not doing enough.
A
Oh my God.
B
Meanwhile, the President United States is actively trying to use the Department of Justice to revoke his citizenship and throw him into a fucking concentration camp and disappear him off the face of the earth. And people like fucking baby bangs Madeline Pendleton are on TikTok and there's no way that you can win through it like Toralism. Shut up, you. I'm not cutting it that time. I'm not cutting it out of the episode. For anybody who doesn't know about Madeline Pendleton, you're lucky you live a privileged life. Anyway, this is back about girly pop stuff. We're talking about ugly fashion of rich people, not ugly fashion of fucking horrid little monsters with bad bangs who have a book at Barnes and Noble while they yap about being anti capitalist. All right, go ahead. That felt personal and off the chest.
A
That's gonna get us in some trouble.
B
I don't give a shit.
A
That's gonna get us in some trouble.
B
O.
A
Okay. No. Okay, so here's the other thing. When you were looking through people.com.
B
Yes.
A
You were like, matteo Bocelli performed at the ceremony.
B
Yeah.
A
Right. He sang while Jeff and Lauren were getting married. And I said, matteo Bocelli? Who is that related to Andre Pacelli? And you were like, yeah, it's his son.
B
Yeah.
A
And I said, oh, my God, I have a crazy little lore circle for you.
B
Okay.
A
Which is that famously, Italian weddings. I'm not gonna say are owned. Kim Kardashian, a guest at this wedding, famously thinks she owns Italian weddings.
B
Yeah.
A
Because she got married in Italy and which time. Okay. One of the times. And so she had a wedding that.
B
Was, like, sponsored by E. Right. Didn't she have a wedding?
A
It was like, the one to the football player.
B
Yeah. That only lasted, like, an hour.
A
72. 72 hours or something like that.
B
I guess the hour I was being.
A
I'm pretty sure it was, like, 70 something.
B
Okay, got it.
A
No, she married Kanye, I think, in Italy.
B
Okay, got it.
A
Okay.
B
Worked out well for everybody.
A
So then a few years ago, whatever. Her sister Courtney, One who is not in attendance here.
B
Oh.
A
One of the only Kardashians not.
B
She was in there.
A
She might be there. I just didn't see a picture of her. I don't know. But Courtney went and got married in Italy as well.
B
Okay.
A
And then Kim, who, like, they. Kim and Courtney don't get along the way that sisters don't get along.
B
Okay.
A
She was like, you stole my whole concept. But now I think Beso stole Kim's concept too. So I found the original clip from the Hulu series, and I want you to play it so you can understand what I'm talking about.
B
Okay.
A
I got married in Italy. Am I saying you copied me by getting married in Italy? Who performed at my wedding? Andrea Bocelli. Who performed at Courtney's wedding? Andrea Bocelli. You stole my wedding. Country and my wedding performer Andrea Bocelli is my favorite male singer of all time. But I'm copying her Dolce Vita lifestyle. Okay, time to say so now I'm like, did Kim go to this wedding? And the whole time, she was like, this copied my wedding, like, to. About Lauren.
B
Yeah.
A
Because she's like, oh, you. But at the same time. At the same time, Jeff Bezos and his wife suck so hard at wedding planning. This wedding is so tacky and trash that they couldn't even get Andre. They had to get Mateo. Now, Mateo might be a very nice man. He might be very talented.
B
Yeah.
A
But I'm saying Kim Kardashian got Andre guy.
B
Yeah.
A
Andrea. So. So who has the better Italian wedding?
B
Yeah.
A
Also, I love that she's like, she stole my Dolce.
B
I'm wondering. Because here's the thing is. Is over time is. I think Lauren Sanchez is the one who was the driver.
A
Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure.
B
I think. I think part of this was like, Lauren Sanchez is like, Lauren Sanchez is.
A
A fan of the Kardashians. I think.
B
Yeah. Yeah. So I think.
A
Because I don't think they're friends. I think she's a fan.
B
I think she's.
A
She's a fan. She's a fan. She's a fan.
B
I think she's a stand. She's a stand.
A
Okay.
B
I was gonna pull up. I. I can't pull it up right now just because it's not working. But there's. Because as I mentioned before, we are watching Love island because we live in a nightmare, and there is Huda, who. Who we've. We've unfortunately very early. We don't know very early into it. But there is a. There is a meme going around that's very similar to this one.
A
Yeah.
B
And I want you to know right now, your meme that you just played for me is now dated because of Love Island. Because the meme that's going around on TikTok that I keep seeing is. Is people being like, that's my dream date. She knows that. And that is from Love Island. And it's Huda complaining about something, I think, with Jeremiah. Yeah. Here we go. He just. Mr. Third just pulled it up the top one here. Okay, let me.
A
Let's say it's like sitting down.
B
Yeah. This is it right here.
A
I don't even know who that other young lady is.
B
We're not that deep into Love island, but this is just. I'm going to spoil it for it. Ready?
A
What was the date? It was just, like, sitting down, like, on the beach. My dream date. Cute. And he knows that just.
B
Just sitting on the beach is my dream. Dude. But the same way you can't claim Italy. I could understand with the Andrea Bocelli thing a little bit, like, maybe a little bit on the beach. Sorry, I just auto played.
A
Stop autoplay.
B
I apologize, but I. I can understand that.
A
Yeah.
B
A little bit. A little tiny bit. No, but I. The. The whole country. The whole beach. But anyway, that's gonna be the new.
A
I think that was probably because. Okay, here's Lauren. She's like, well, I have to do better than Courtney because Kourtney stole Kim's plan. An idea for a wedding. So what I'll do is I'll just get the whole. Whole city of Venice. But you can't out do that.
B
Here's the thing. Here's the. Here's the thing, though, again, we said this last episode, you could have gotten all of Montana.
A
Yeah.
B
You could have gotten all of anywhere. They could have gotten anywhere. You didn't have to. It, like, it's so crazy.
A
So also, we. We found out from People magazine, owned by one of the guests, that there was a pajama dance party after the ceremony. So all the guests had to then get changed into their. Their sexy pajama outfits.
B
Yep.
A
Because again, the themes were very. They were themes. There was a lot of themes.
B
Yeah, there was. Because what they did is on night one, they had a big dinner.
A
Yeah.
B
On day two. Day two was the wedding.
A
Yep.
B
And the day three was an evening pajama dance party that went from like 7pm to 4am okay. And that was like the big. Again, this is from what I read in People magazine. And the whole time I was like, I feel like I should be focusing on what's happening in Congress right now. You're like, shut the fuck up. Nobody wants to hear about Congress. And.
A
But guess what.
B
What?
A
Something I found out from the pajama dance party information that you gave me is that the best dancer. There was an award for best dancer at the event.
B
Oh.
A
And it went to Jessica Alba.
B
Oh.
A
Who I didn't know is at the wedding because she wasn't, like, in the pap walks of getting on the boat. But now I'm like, oh, Jessica Alba, what are you doing there? But did you like. Because I guess my thought is, do you. When you think of Jessica Alba, you think of her from the. The movies, the actual movies.
B
I think of her as a miscast. Susan Storm.
A
Yes.
B
Which is right now. It's very funny because there's a new Fantastic Four coming out.
A
Oh, there is.
B
And she was in Fantastic Four 1 and 2. Nobody really complained about it too much. I didn't think she, like, fit for Susan Storm, the Invisible Woman. That's fine. But now there's a new Fantastic Four. Right. And Pedro Pascal is playing Reed Richards.
A
I love that.
B
Mr. Fantastic, which is great. I think he's gonna be a great thing.
A
He is.
B
But racists online are like, there. There they go. Erasing another white. And I'm like, you bitches didn't complain about Jessica Alba. She is also Latino. Like, she is also Hispanic like you guys. What the fuck are you talking about? But it's just one of those moments.
A
They just wanna know. They just like to be mad because.
B
They hate real fucking and they all hate. What's your name? From Captain Marvel?
A
Brie.
B
Brie. Yeah.
A
Brie Larson.
B
Brie Larson. They all mad at Brie Larson for being hot and. Right.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay, so that's your big problem.
A
So nobody likes you.
B
That's why. Nobody likes me.
A
So hot and Right.
B
Thank you.
A
Anyway, so the whole thing is like. You think of her from the movies. Yeah, but I know. I think of her idol, Honest Company. Do you know about that?
B
Honest Company.
A
She owns a company called Honest. Like, that's the Honest brand. Well, she doesn't own anymore. But basically what happened is after she got done with the movies or whatever she was doing, she had children and then when she had babies, they had. They had allergic reactions to like laundry detergent and stuff. So she started her own laundry detergent brand that had like no chemicals and no sense and all. So she got big into the crunchy non toxics. She got big into the crunchy non toxics and she started this brand called the Honest Company. And they make like. It started out with laundry detergent and body wash and lotion, I think, and now they like sell diapers, they sell formula, they sell makeup for moms. It's like this whole thing, it's. It's all that non toxic stuff and that, all that branding that goes into it. It's very Maha aligned, you know what I mean?
B
Yeah.
A
And her company, when I looked it up. Yes. Or not yesterday, whenever I wrote this, it was valued at $55.9 million. And there was a point in time where it was valued at $2 billion. And then she actually, she didn't sell it. She like stepped down and now she's on the board. She did that thing where she's like.
B
I'm not the CEO the same way Jeff did.
A
Yeah, exactly. So she's still in charge because she's on the board, but she's not the CEO anymore. But yeah, so she is of that Maha affiliation.
B
Gotcha. And I bet you they sell a lot on Amazon.
A
Oh, for sure.
B
She's probably an Amazon sale.
A
She's a big Amazon galley. So I wanted to quickly talk about some of the celebrities that talk because I again, this episode is a little bit about me wanting to talk some. And gossipy.
B
Yep.
A
And there are some celebrities that also did that.
B
Okay.
A
Okay. Number one, sometimes not saying something is saying Something. And the. What's her name? Do you know that Eva Longoria is Lauren Sanchez's, like, best friend? They've been best friends for, like, a long time.
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
B
Can I tell you something?
A
Yeah, go ahead.
B
The thing about, like, Lauren Sanchez, every time I've seen her, it's always been. I've always been like, something's off.
A
Yeah.
B
I know it's had a lot of surgery, but I recently saw somebody put a gif. I don't remember where I saw it. I might have been on Twitter or something like that. But it was like a time lapse of her through, like the last bunch of years. Like, she was like just a beautiful, attractive, normal looking woman.
A
Yeah.
B
And then like, as she got closer to modern day, like when the surgery flip hits.
A
Yeah.
B
It's terrifying.
A
Yeah.
B
To the point where people in the comments of this, wherever I saw it, were saying like, yeah, it's part of marrying a billionaire. It's part of being the billionaire's second wife. Like, you have to. It's like the mutilation ritual.
A
Oh.
B
Like, you have to be like, I'll change myself for you. I'll change myself for you. Because, like, she was like, she. She would be naturally still gorgeous. She would just be however old she is, I guess. I think she's in her early 50s.
A
Yeah. She's in early 50s.
B
I don't know.
A
But yeah. Her and Ava Longoria have been friends for like 20 years. And Ava Longoria was at the bachelorette party for this wedding. Right. But she didn't attend the wedding. And Eva Longoria was photographed on a beach in Spain. And like, she's like. I think she's filming something in Spain right now or, like, vacationing with her family.
B
I think I've actually heard. I believe that Eva Longoria, I don't even know, lives in the United States still. I think she might live in Europe.
A
Yeah. But the whole. My whole thought is like, okay, this is your friend for 20 years. You went to our bachelorette party.
B
Yeah.
A
She's having this crazy, crazy, crazy wedding. And you're in Spain. That's a hop, skip and a jump to Venice. That ain't nothing.
B
Yeah.
A
And she wasn't there. Crazy. And I listen, this is all legit. I don't know what's going on or not going on, but that's suspicious behavior. But let's talk about somebody who actually just said that shit. Charlize Theron.
B
Yeah.
A
My beloved South African queen.
B
We stand. We stand.
A
She was doing.
B
She's the only good white South African. The only one.
A
That's it.
B
You might be like, oh, well, this guy from history who did. No, no, no. Just Charlize Theron.
A
Just Charlize.
B
That's it.
A
She was doing a thing. She was hosting a party for her outreach project that she runs.
B
Okay.
A
And they were like, she's like up there speaking. And this is like right as on Saturday when this. All this is happening. And I got this crazy quote, which I love. It says, quote, I think we might be the only people who did not get an invite to the beso. Sweating. But that's okay because they suck and we're cool, babe. Also, I like that this, this, because this is part of my theory that I started in the beginning is that they don't have any real friends.
B
Yeah.
A
I think they invited everybody in Hollywood. I think they invited as many fucking people as they could. And then most people had some good goddamn sense to not go.
B
Yeah.
A
Bad optics.
B
Well, also keep in mind something a lot of people forget. Amazon owns MGM now. Oh, Metro Golden Meyer, the famous, like, ancient Hollywood studio.
A
Yeah.
B
Like that owns James Bond.
A
Yeah.
B
Like they own major properties through Amazon prime and through that streaming service. And as. As deals are drying up in Hollywood, Hollywood's having more and more. Like, actual California is having more and more issues of getting script, screen green lit, getting things actually made in California. Actors are, like, desperate for work over there.
A
Yeah.
B
And trying to stay relevant. And so, like, if you can convince Jeff Bezos to fund your fucking stupid project the way he funded the Lord of the Rings prequel that's going on.
A
There's a prequel to Tyler know.
B
It's. It's on. It's on Amazon Prime. I watched a couple episodes of it. Like, it was fine, but it's just like, oh, I don't really care right now. I like the. You know. And I started watching Racist had a big problem because it had black dwarves. Is that one that came out a couple years ago?
A
Do I have to go into my whole shtick again?
B
No, you don't have to.
A
Because again, it's imagination.
B
It's imagination.
A
You can have the dwarves in Lord of the Rings aren't real.
B
Yeah.
A
It's imagination in your mind.
B
Yeah.
A
So they can. I can imagine them to have a different skin color than you imagine them.
B
Also.
A
Also, it's all imagination. Wizards aren't real. Dragons aren't real.
B
Also, we all think of dwarves of having Scottish accents, but J.R.R. tolkien himself said that he pictured the dwarves as having Jewish accents. Like stereotypical Jewish accents.
A
Okay.
B
Because they are short, curly, Curly haired, long bearded men that only care about gold and jewels.
A
God damn.
B
And who are diaspora people who were chased out of their homeland. So like, that is, that's, that's like a direct thing. And he wasn't. He didn't think he was being racist. I think that's just a British fantasy author thing where they're like, I'm gonna say an incredibly racist thing, but I'm British.
A
So I'm gonna use all the money I make from my very popular children's book to be the worst turf of them all.
B
Yeah. J.R.R.
A
Tolkien, Q. J.K. rowling.
B
Yeah. But anyway, the. But in the, in these cases though, is like Jeff Bezos. If you have a thing and Jeff Bezos likes it, he can just greenlight.
A
Yeah.
B
As an executive on the board.
A
Haven't named any movie stars that are going to make anything. The Kardashians have their own production network. They don't need him.
B
Yeah. But it's also one of those things where again, you want to stay good with them. Right.
A
I love the idea that Leonardo DiCaprio is there to try to make a movie about climate.
B
But. No, but hold on, hold on. But the thing is, is like if, if, if they know that you're blacklisted from mgm.
A
Yeah.
B
Then you have less bargaining power against Netflix.
A
Got it.
B
You have less bargaining power against Disney. You have less bargaining power against all of these other different places. Because slowly people, really. Because this happens in wrestling all the time. Oh, you're never going to go back to this company. Well, then we're going to pay you less over here.
A
Yeah.
B
You're not going to get a $15 million contract from AEW or WWE if they know that you hate the other one.
A
And that's how you end up apologizing to this Saudi government.
B
Right. CM Punk. Heyo.
A
You didn't think I knew that, but I saw it on the Internet. I saw it on the Internet and I didn't say anything, but I knew. I saw what he did.
B
Oh, punker taker.
A
I. Listen, CM Punk, you know how much of the fuck up that I see that. Get out of here. Anyway. Mia Farrow.
B
Yeah. Mia Farrow.
A
Ronan Farrow's mother.
B
Yeah.
A
Who famously birthed a very handsome man.
B
Yeah.
A
With the ugliest man in the world.
B
And we'll leave the Woody Allen part out of it all.
A
Hey, no, that was the joke. Oh, is that because it's clearly Frank. Frank Sinatra's. Oh, yeah, clearly Frank Sinatra's son.
B
Yep.
A
Mia Farrow. She posted okay, so the wedding's happening, Right. All this wedding stuff's all over the Internet. Mia Farrow gets on her Instagram, which I looked at her Instagram. She's not on there all the time. She's not actively engaging. She posts a picture of Mackenzie Scott, who is Jeff's ex wife, who's known famously for giving away all of his money.
B
Yeah, she. Mackenzie Scott. There is the Apple TV show Billions.
A
Yeah.
B
Was it Billions? No, it's. It's something like that.
A
The one with the lady from Maya.
B
Rudolph. Rudolph, yes. I can't remember what it's called. Loot.
A
Loot.
B
It's called Loot. Yeah. It's. It's basically is very similar to the Mackenzie Scott story. But yeah, Mackenzie Scott was married to Jeff Bezos when they created Amazon.
A
Yep.
B
And in fact, a lot of people are like, she's the reason it worked, because as being in a relationship and running a business with somebody, you. You need someone who you can trust to bounce ideas off of, who also will tell you don't post that many times.
A
All the time.
B
She'd be like, hey, maybe don't wait into this thing about Madeline Pendleton.
A
Fudge.
B
You. You can't stop me now. The mics are running. I have. I have final edit. No, anyway, the. In general. And so she was there. And so when they got divorced and they didn't. I don't think they had a prenup. She got a huge cut of like billions and billions of dollars. And she was like, oh, cool. And she married a teacher. And then she has been just giving away money. But the thing is about having billions of dollars is just. Just by having Will just generate more money. It's just. It's. You can have money at a certain point, even if you just put it in a basic bank account. Yeah, it'll just keep making money.
A
That's the reason why it's gonna keep going.
B
That's the reason why I've said repeatedly that my selling point, my personal. You don't want just me. $12.5 million. You want both of us. 25 mil. Because for that amount of money, we can shove it in an account and we can live off the. Just the interest alone, baby. Just the interest alone. And live a very nice life that no one would ever know because we'd have to disappear because we wouldn't need a yacht. I wouldn't need to get a $500 billion mega yacht to do keeping up with the Joneses of people down the street. I wouldn't need to have all These high tech things. And to be showing off and do the. We could still. We could. Hey, you know what we're going to do? We're going to go down the shore. We maybe go to the Poconos. Right? We'll go to the mountains. That's our. We do that twice a year. Hey, we want to go to dinner night? Yeah, sure.
A
We'll be able to afford all the blueberries.
B
I tell you, hey, if I see a store brand in this house. No, that would be our thing. We live a life of luxury. My mom talks about it all the time. My mom's definition of rich is different than the government's definition of rich and poor. The government's definition of poor is like insanely low. It's like $12,000 or something like that. It's like their idea of the poverty line, like, which is unlivable. Right. You have working poor. You have all these everything. My mom's definition of being rich is that you can go to dinner at a restaurant without looking at your bank account. Yeah, that's it. She's like, I want to go to dinner with my husband. The two of us, we go out, we're going to go to a steakhouse. Or whatever. You go wherever. You know what I mean? Like, you're going to drop what used to be what would have been an $85 meal in like 1995, now would be like 200 bucks. But, like, hey, I can go eat. And I didn't have to think about it like, oh, well, is this going to. Oh, wait, if I. If we eat at Applebee's, is that going to. Is that going to take enough money out of my checking that when my car note hits that I'll actually. It'll bounce. And then I'll get hit by a fee from my bank. That is if you don't have to think about that in my world.
A
And I think I'm like, oh, what?
B
I think in most people's world, that's rich.
A
Yeah.
B
But these people are at a level now where they don't ever. They never have to touch it, ever. They could. Guys like Donald Trump, I think before he did the NFT scams and all this different bullshit with the crypto and everything. They could. He could have. If he had just taken the money he inherited from his dad, just taken that empire and did nothing, he would have been richer than. With what he tried at.
A
Yeah.
B
Because he failed at so many things.
A
Because he's terrible and he's bad at business.
B
He's bad at business. And he constantly runs things into the ground. But anyway, go back to Mayor Farrell.
A
Mayo Farrow post this picture of Mackenzie Scott during on Jeff wedding.
B
Who we stand.
A
This is Jeff wedding day, by the way she posts on it. This is the funny behavior. She posts a picture of Mackenzie Scott. And in her. Her quote copy, she wrote as of how awesome is Mackenzie Scott. Jeff Bezos, first wife and mother for his four children. As of mid December 2024, she has given a total of $19.3 billion to over 1600 charitable organizations. Right. It's just a picture of Mackenzie Scott and being like, look how awesome she is. Like, this dude's wedding. And like, it got incredible amount of likes. And like, a bunch of, like, famous people commented, like, Rosanna Arquette was like, she's a force of humanity and good. And Olivia Munn wrote like, truly incredible. Like, okay, I know, but still, like, famous people commenting on it made me giggle so much.
B
Yeah.
A
Because there's just like, there's clearly. It's. Because you know what it is? At the end of the day, so many things are still high school.
B
Yeah.
A
So many things still high school.
B
But again, this is elite. This is allegiances. Yeah, this is allegiances. And this is. This is allies. And all these different. That we're watching, the pieces come together. And a lot of people, like actors especially, thought they had more pull until the streamers came in and destroyed the Hollywood system.
A
Yeah, of course. And now podcasts are more popular than TV shows. And you're listening to our podcast, Pearl Manufacturer, which you can listen to ad.
B
Free on our Patreon by Pearlmania500.net and our podcast is called Too Many Tabs. You just called it Pearl Mania 500, which is what we called it for the first season.
A
Well, when you go back and listen to our old stuff.
B
Yeah, when we do it. Yeah. And we're playing a lot of fun, older themes. But with that older theme, we're going to take a little break and when we come back, we are going to have.
A
I have thoughts. I have to tell you about how maybe this wedding crushed Vogue.
B
Oh, before we took that break, you were talking about Vogue. Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue.
A
Yeah, but I was talking about Vogue, the fashion magazine, not the dance.
B
Okay, got it.
A
Ballroom culture that Madonna stole.
B
Anyway, Borrowed. She actually. Okay, no, stop. Don't do that. Don't do that. Madonna actually brought all of the Vogue dancers from Paris is Burning on her tour. I know she did not. Culture Vulture. The way people like Justin Timberlake and a bunch of other fuckers in the past have done all right.
A
And we'll never forgive Justin Timberlake for what he did to Janet Jackson.
B
No, we never will. And that's why we've been raising our son on good Janet Jackson songs every day, all day. Yeah.
A
He's gonna have so many questions.
B
Our kid is gonna be so confused, people. He's gonna have references from 1997 and people. What the fuck is he talking about?
A
Over. Like, we just watch a lot of Janet Jackson music videos. Yeah. Okay, so. No, here's the thing that I was saying is. No, stop. You're gonna get copyright claimed.
B
Oh, no, that's. If we play the music. I can say it. It's a cover.
A
Oh, okay.
B
I'm singing it as a cover.
A
So here's the thing. I don't know if you heard, but Anna Wintour recently announced she's gonna sing step away from her role as editor in chief of US Vogue.
B
Oh, yeah. That's the lady from the Devil Wears Pride is based off of.
A
Yes, exactly. It's the woman that Meryl Streep's character is based off of.
B
Is also. Is she also the. The woman that the. The seamstress from the Incredibles is based off of?
A
Yes.
B
The baby and I have been watching the Incredibles. I'm trying, y', all. I'm trying desperately to break the. The grip that Cars 2 has on our child. We.
A
I know he's like. He saw Mrs. Incredibles, but. And he's like, wait a minute now. What's this cartoon about?
B
I.
A
Listen.
B
You think that was the. You think that was the first time I saw Mrs. Incredibles? But. All right, I was. When I watched Miss. I watched Incredibles, too. And I said, she can do what with a motorcycle? With that. But anyway. No, but. But that's. There's the little. The little lady.
A
Yeah.
B
Who comes out. No capes.
A
No capes. No capes.
B
That's. And that's. She's inspired by.
A
Similarly inspired.
B
Yeah.
A
So Anna Wintour announced she would be stepping away. But listen, this is one day after the. Lauren Sanchez was on the COVID of Vogue. Wait, scratch that. She was on the digital cover. Oh, just like she didn't get Andre and she got Mateo. She didn't get the COVID of Vogue. She got the digital cover of Vogue.
B
I have a correction to make. Edna Mode from Incredibles was actually inspired by Edith Head, a legendary Hollywood costume designer. Had nothing to do with Anna Winter.
A
Okay? So thanks for the.
B
I want to get that correct. I want to get that in now. Okay. Because in the last Episode. I made a mistake and said some stuff about hello Kitty, possibly that hello Kitty is. Is a person.
A
Yeah.
B
It is a little girl, though.
A
It's a little girl, not a little boy.
B
It's not. It's not a man in drag.
A
You said it was a man. Man.
B
I think I said it was a man. And I apparently roasted in the comments. I wasn't roasted. I think I am about to be brought up on charges of the Hague, so. And now that I have said that Edna Mode was actually inspired by Anna Wintour. No, I am incorrect.
A
You just saw. You just saw a cunty little bob, and you assumed that cunty little Bob was Anna Wintour.
B
I just thought. I just thought one to one, and.
A
You were like, stiff. Wear.
B
I. Stiffware. Stiffware. Okay, all right. Go back. Go. Go back to your thing.
A
So she got the digital cover, which is like. Okay, that's nothing.
B
Yeah, it's like. It's like tying for fifth place.
A
Yeah. Oh, boy. Here's the thing. I. There's a part of me that thinks that Anna Wintour maybe is stepping back because she's so upset about this, all this Vogue stuff. Because then I went and I read the article about the wedding, because she, of course, got a whole article written about her in this beautiful, elaborate wedding.
B
And it is Lauren Sanchez.
A
Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos wedding. And it is the worst. What do the kids call it? Glazing. The worst glazing I have ever seen or read. Number one. It's just. It's clearly wedding propaganda with, like, no, this is so elaborate and beautiful and glamorous. And I was like, nothing about this looks like. Looks glamorous. Like, every dress she wore is tacky. She clearly didn't have anybody fitting them properly. Her wedding dress garbs.
B
Yeah.
A
Did you see the picture of it? Hold on, I'll show you a picture of it.
B
Let me pull it up.
A
Okay, I have it here. That's on the. It's on the digital cover of Vogue.
B
Gotcha.
A
Listen, I know what she was going for. She says she was going for, like, this vintage thing. It is too much. There's like. It's just so much like. You can't do that much.
B
Lace, vintage, and a mermaid.
A
A vintage mermaid.
B
Hey, listen, real fast.
A
Yeah.
B
Can we stop with the mermaid?
A
The mermaid is very flattering. I understand why people.
B
No, listen, I don't. I don't know. This is for me, all right? This is Mr. P's corner, okay? No mermaid.
A
The thing is, is we've got a lot of antique Lace. We've got the mermaid. We got the tight bodice. So it's really structural. Then it's a high neck.
B
I just also feel like you can't walk in it.
A
The buttons. The fucking buttons. They go from chin to toe. You can't do all of it. We had to pick one of these to go away. And I think the button should have been the thing to go away.
B
Well, the buttons, yes. But also just the mermaid of it all in general. Because for me, this is how I know you're also going to have multiple costume changes, which is going to. Would annoy me as a guest. Because anybody who's ever worn a mermaid dress, they have to walk up the aisle very slowly because you have to walk, like little shuffle feet. You can't take big steps. Okay. Right now on TikTok, people are doing this meme where they're playing a song and they'd be like, bridesmaid one, bridesmaid two. You know what I mean? They're playing, like ironic songs, very funny songs. Or one person was just playing, like, that weird background music that you hear in conspiracy theory, like that type of stuff. But it's very funny. But when you're in a mermaid dress, there's only a certain speed because you can't. Your knees are basically locked together.
A
Yeah.
B
It's like they took one of those stretchy, like, jazzer size bands.
A
Yeah.
B
That you would see at the gym.
A
Yep.
B
And they put it around your knees specifically.
A
And they said walk.
B
And then they say walk, and you're like, how do I move it? Just wiggle.
A
That's why it's called a wiggle dress or a wiggle skirt, because it makes you wiggle like in Mad Men. When you saw Joan, she was.
B
Oh, back before. Back before women had rights.
A
Okay, okay.
B
Got it, Got it. Understood. I got it.
A
Also, if I'm gonna keep picking this apart, which I am, because that's what I wanted to do in today's episode, is to pick apart the oligarchs. Is. And I don't have to be nice, because these are terrible people who don't care about our human existence.
B
No.
A
And her ugly dress. This dress is very old school. It's. It's got a lot of embellishment. It's got a lot of stuff going on. It's tight. It's covered neck to toe. Right. I think it even elongates onto her fingers, which I do like that. I love a feminine touch. But her hair. Her hair looks like she just woke up. If you're Gonna have for a vote. Hand, hand sewn buttons, antique lace, Ba ba ba ba ba. And your hair isn't done. Like, put as much effort into the hair. That's just a personal thing.
B
Yeah. Also. And also because it's also a Vogue cover.
A
It's a Vogue cover.
B
Yeah.
A
Beautiful, beautiful hair. Is she wearing a nail? I'm gonna call the drag queens. I don't even think she's wearing a nail.
B
Is that real? Or these extensions? What's the on this neck?
A
This next picture? Oh, those are extensions, for sure. This next picture is inside the magazine. And this makes me think that Anna Wintour hates her because she published this. This makes me think Anna Wintour was like, I'm leaving.
B
So this picture right here is why, like. And this, the framing of her face right here is why people on the Internet were comparing her to Canadian people from South Park.
A
Oh.
B
Because you can see the line right here already. It's almost like the joker cut from how the plastic surgery has made this shelf.
A
Yeah.
B
So it looks like her bottom jaw should detach from her.
A
Which is what I was trying to say when we were talking earlier about the lady who went guajara. She has a naturally downturned smile. So if the doctor would have wrongly given her an upturned smile that she doesn't naturally have, it would have given it a joker effect.
B
Yeah.
A
Which is why when I was looking at it and I was like, that was smart of the doctor to keep it slightly downturned so it still looks natural to the way her jaw and chin look. Unlike this, where we have upturned her mouth in a way where it doesn't look natural or even human. Really.
B
Yeah.
A
So anyway, I saw that picture, and I said, I don't think Adam Wintour likes this lady. And the thing is, I wanted to give a quick, like, thing to you because I know that when you think of Anna Wintour, you think of the Devil Wears Prada, which is a fine movie where we find out that Anna Wintour's character is not bad. It's actually Andy's boyfriend Nate, who is the problem of the whole movie. Mr. Third, put a picture of Nate. I hate this guy. This guy, this character forever.
B
Got it.
A
He's the bad guy of the film. Meryl Streep's character is just doing her goddamn job and keeping a magazine that's worth billions of dollars, an entire corporation running. And some girl in an internship comes in thinking she's smarter. She just got out of journalism college and she knows something. And then out of all this, we got this unsupportive boyfriend, Buck Nate. He's the worst character. He's the bad guy in the movie. Anyway, the thing is, is Anna Wintour did change Vogue. Like the way that she changed vocal. Let me scroll down. If you go down a little bit, I'll show you. These covers are what Vogue used to look like for years and years. It would be a supermodel close shot of the face Vogue across their forehead, and then the titles of whatever is going to be in it. And then when Anna Wintour comes in, she decides she's going to do these fresh looks. Right. So this is the most iconic. This is her first cover ever. You can see the model is stepped back, so we get to see the full breadth of what the model is wearing. She's wearing like this custom shirt. I forget who makes it. It was like a very expensive hoodie. And then like, these are like $50 jeans. Like, it was just very casual and cool. And so this is what Anna Wintour is bringing, is this casual, cool, fresh lightness to Vogue.
B
Yeah.
A
And so after this, she really brings. Starts bringing in these Vogue covers where she stepped away from supermodels and started bringing celebrities, which is what a lot of people dislike about Anna Wintour is because she's the person that started putting celebrities and stuff instead of just models on the COVID Gotcha. And that led into like the Kardashians being on the COVID That led to Michelle Obama being on the COVID And so people were like. A lot of people like me thought this was fresh and cool.
B
Yeah.
A
And a lot of people don't, like.
B
When did she take over Vogue as editor?
A
I think in the 80s.
B
88. 88. Okay. Because you're saying this is the first cover right here. This one with a girl with the cross.
A
I'm pretty sure that was the first cover. Or that's her most iconic.
B
That's her most iconic. Okay. Because I was about to say, because I'm like, this Vogue is from November. I don't know what year and. But I. The thing that I keep looking at, you're talking about the COVID I'm looking in the corner where it says $3.
A
Yeah.
B
I just keep zooming. You know, it says $3 for a Vogue magazine number.
A
$3.
B
I think it. I think it's. They're like 20. They're like 20 plus 12 bucks.
A
Now, the September edition is always the most expensive one because it's the thickest one.
B
Yeah.
A
Cuz fall is the best time of year and therefore we get the best fashion magazine for the best time of year, which is comfy, cozy sweaters and nice pants.
B
Gotcha. I think. I think for me. And I hear what you're saying about the celebrities being brought in instead of the models, because what that does is that actually takes away jobs from another group of people. And again, it's the same way that Barry Diller did with taking all these corporations and having them merge together. When you have somebody like. Like a Kardashian. Right. Or other famous actor, and you make them the Vogue cover model, that means that that is a job that's being taken away from a model.
A
Yeah.
B
A supermodel or a regular model who could possibly move up.
A
What is Naomi Campbell gonna do if she doesn't have a job?
B
But also. But not. But what's the future Naomi Campbell gonna do? But the same exact thing actually happens all of the time in voice acting. Voice acting used to be for the Uggos. It was just people who had, like, good voices.
A
Yeah.
B
And they weren't getting a lot of, like, actual acting roles, you know, like. Like, on camera acting.
A
Yes.
B
Slowly, over time, those have been taken over by Chris.
A
Chris Pratt. I was gonna say Chris over and.
B
Over and over again, but Chris Pratt.
A
Somebody got him away from a microphone.
B
But over time, these voice acting roles at the same exact thing has happened. And so again, there's. It's. It's more. Less people doing more jobs, which then is controlling more money in smaller groups of hands.
A
And that's how you end up at the Jeff Bezos.
B
And that's how you get.
A
Also, I forgot one thing. When I was reading the article in Vogue about Lauren Sanchez that she wrote, like. Because she was like, this is all the secret things about my wedding. And you know how, like, when you're getting married, people are like, oh, you need something borrowed, something blue, blah, blah, blah. And when they asked her about that, she said, oh, my. Something blue. Well, blue origin. It. She counts blue origin as her something blue from when she went to space. And she says she took a secret souvenir up into the rocket with her to space, and then she wore that secret souvenir during the wedding because that was her something blue. Blue origin. I hate her.
B
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna call it right now. Yeah, we just all got told about a fetish. I.
A
Him.
B
No, I'm gonna call it right now. No, I'm. I'm. I'm saying it right now. I think so.
A
A little.
B
I think so. I've seen what the Trad wives are currently doing with slave collars.
A
Whoa. It's.
B
So I'm wearing my day collar and actually I'm getting the princess treatment. Fuck off.
A
Yo.
B
Dude, I am not again. I just talked about this on the warm up. Our. Our podcast is only on pearlmania500.net Stop putting me in your kinks. All right? You're like the carpet guys in New York. The two of them.
A
Like, we didn't stepped on for this.
B
Nobody wants to know about this.
A
Also, can I tell you something funny?
B
Yes.
A
Is that. Okay, so Anna Wintour, she's leaving also. Anna Wintour, Scorpio. Just like Kris Jenner. She isn't at Condonest. That's the magazine.
B
Yeah. The big Max. Yeah.
A
She's actually in charge of gq, Wired, Vanity Fair, Ad Traveler, Bon Appetit, Tattler. She's like the big boss.
B
Yeah. Yeah.
A
So the thing is, is she's not. People keep saying, oh, she's stepping down. She's stepping down. She's not gonna be charged. No, she's doing the same thing that Jessica Alba did. The same thing that just did. She's getting a new title. So she is going to be their quote, saying she's modernizing the title. She. They're going to hire someone else to be the quote, head of editorial content. They will not. Whoever gets hired will not be the editor in chief because Adam Wintour is still going to work there.
B
Oh, she's Nancy Pelosi ing it. Yeah, she's. She's. She's editor emeritus. Nancy Pelosi.
A
Yes.
B
She's like, oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. Yeah. The guy you hate is Hakeem Jeffries.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Not me. It's not me over here in the corner. Sell Apple stock.
A
Yeah. Yeah. So Anna Windor is still going to be there. And I would bet money that potentially whoever's coming in maybe is a friend of Amazon. Because how did we get this Vogue big article? And then when I was doing the Vogue research to see like, how, like the read the article, there's like 20 articles that vogue has been talking about this wedding for months. The Bachelorette, the Ba Ba da.
B
The same way People magazine has been pushing up through Barry Diller.
A
Exactly.
B
Can I tell you a weird thing about Anna Winotour, Conde Nast and Barry Diller and all of his companies? Yeah, Billy, Barry Diller sits on the Expedia board. And I was looking at Expedia, one of the former things they owned. College humor.
A
No.
B
At one point, Barry Diller was in charge of college humor.
A
Okay.
B
And they sold it off during. During 2020. So the reason why dropout TV exists and the reason why people can enjoy Brennan Lee Mulligan and they can enjoy Game Changer and they can sit back, you know, just enjoying their little bisexual treat.
A
Yeah.
B
Is because Barry Diller freaked out during the pandemic. And it's like, we have to sell this thing because people are staying at home and they're not spending money. So quickly, quickly sell college humor to Sam Reich. Like, what the fuck? And then.
A
But hey, Sam, can we. Can Alex come on your show? He would do a good time.
B
Okay, don't. That feels weird for me. I would be excellent. I would love to sell you a comedy special called Daddy's Day, which you can watch on YouTube. Anyway, the other side of it, the other side of it is that Conde Nast, which is the overall arching company for Vogue magazine, gq, Bon Appetit. And others at one point in their portfolio had a little company called Reddit. Yeah. At one point they had to sit in meetings and Anna editor would be like, what are they doing on Reddit? What do you mean? It's called our jail Bait. Like, I swear to God, like that is actual shit. And at one point, like, like Reddit was underneath that umbrella the guys sold. And then they ended up like tying it off because like, we don't know how to make it. Make money.
A
Yeah.
B
And it didn't make any money until Google stepped in and was like, please let us scrape your entire website for AI so we can battle Sam Altman at OpenAI. It's all tied together. That's why behind this curtain I have this. How crazy would it be if I.
A
Opened it and had strings?
B
It's just strings and everything.
A
Maybe one day.
B
Maybe one day. But you. Do you have any final quotes about Anna? One is horror.
A
No, she's not really stepping down. She's still going to be their boss and everybody around, good for her. I guess this was just a parade of haterism on my part about this wedding from these jerks who are ruining our country on our globe.
B
And fellas, I want to point out something to you right now, to those of you guys who made it to the end. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you're sitting around, you're like, oh man, my wife wants to play her stupid girly pop for me. Ah, this isn't for me. This doesn't have men getting concussions. Oh, I don't like this. This doesn't have enough electric swords in it. Nobody is talking about the force. There aren't enough elves or dwarves. But you know what happens when you start listening to the things and watching the things that your wife likes, the girly pop stuff. You start to see the other side. Everyone knew back in the day. This is. This is by a closing thought, by the way, everyone back in the day knew that the secret inside of every court was through the maids, through the scullery maids, the wenches. Nobody ever looked at them. Nobody had a thought when they declared that they were about to go to war. When France and England were about to go to war. You know who? The first person who knew about it wasn't the generals. It was the maids who came in to scrub that fucking stone floor for whatever reason with a bucket that didn't fucking work. But they would be in there and they would hear it. And this is exactly what's happening to all of us through this wedding. You're starting to see the alliances come together, the allegiances of where they stand. And as our nation Balkanizes and gets ripped apart by these mega corporation, as our world is. Has its lines redrawn, you will see through the girly pop shit of their girlfriends and their wives and their mistresses, who is working together with who. And that is how you should invest. That's why Too Many Tabs is now an investment podcast. That's right. All of this has been financial advice. It's been financial advice the entire time. Oh, you thought you were gonna come at us and you were gonna be like, ah, we're gonna give you gambling money. No, no, no, no. This has been a backdoor way to get you to invest yourself in crypto. Yeah, we need the crypto money. That's right. It's crypto. Crypto. Crypto. Hit me with that money sound. Hit me with the money. Yeah, that's the term for it. Alright, that's too loud. Way too loud. Bring it down. All right, and with that, everyone, thank you so much for joining us here on Too Many Tabs. I wish. I wish more. More people had stopped it from getting this bad. No, I should end it on something nicer than that, shouldn't I?
A
Yeah.
B
All right. Should they put anything in the comments? Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Third. Guys, I would like you to get into the comments. And Mrs. P, what do you think they should say?
A
Say, oh, my God, I don't. Zuck and the Cuck.
B
No, no, that's a little. I don't. I don't want that. No, I don't want that. How about we have them say who was the one? Who was the one was. Which was the Kardashian that wasn't there?
A
Oh, Courtney, Courtney, Courtney. You just want to put Kourtney Kardashian in the comments.
B
We're all Courtney's now.
A
We're not Courtney. I wish you knew the implications.
B
What is that? What is the implication of that?
A
Too late. You don't know the implications. But you said it. We're all Kourtney Kardashian now.
B
We're all Kourtney Kardashian.
A
Wait, you find out about our stepdaughter, Alabama.
B
What? Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got too many times. Open it too many times. Remember to smile.
A
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.
B
This is one of the most spectacular venues with all kinds of character and hospitality scenery. These people in this Gita Task valley, they love when you come to see what they have to offer. I'm JJ Harrison, Ellensburg Rodeo clown, and I want to invite you to the rodeo. Come hang out with us in Ellensburg. Great rodeo. Great time. Two performances on Saturday. One is the extreme bulls of the year event. Do not miss the Ellensburg Rodeo August 29th through September 1st. We'll see you there.
Host: Pearlmania500
Episode Title: Does Jeff Bezos Have Friends?
Release Date: July 6, 2025
In this episode of Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500, hosts Pearlmania500 delve into the extravagant wedding of Jeff Bezos, examining the guest list, venue choices, and the broader implications of such high-profile gatherings.
Notable Quote:
"This podcast is about casting judgment... they're spending millions that should have been put towards taxes." — Host B [00:25]
Pearl and her co-host criticize the exclusivity of Bezos' wedding, highlighting the limited guest list of 200, predominantly composed of celebrities and other billionaires. They argue that the absence of genuine friendships among the invitees underscores a superficial approach to high-profile events.
Notable Quote:
"If you were the third richest man in the world, I would be like, hey, all these executives that came up through my companies and these people that I would have built relationships with." — Host A [03:19]
A significant portion of the discussion centers on the questionable fashion choices of the wedding's attendees. The hosts express disdain for the outfits, particularly focusing on figures like Kris Jenner and the Kardashians. They argue that the attire was neither glamorous nor befitting of the event's opulence.
Notable Quote:
"Ugly clothes and bad faces. Also known as the Jeff Bezos story." — Host B [01:09]
The episode scrutinizes the presence and fashion of the Kardashian family at Bezos' wedding. Pearl and her co-host dissect each member's outfit, comparing them unfavorably to their usual glamorous image. They suggest that the Kardashians' attendance reflects a broader trend of celebrity dominance in elite circles, overshadowing genuine relationships.
Notable Quote:
"She got that new face. Everybody in Hollywood's getting these new facial surgeries." — Host A [04:44]
Transitioning from fashion, the hosts shift focus to media magnate Barry Diller, owner of People Magazine. They explore Diller's extensive influence in the media landscape, linking his decisions to broader societal shifts. The conversation highlights how media conglomerates, under leaders like Diller, shape public opinion and political narratives.
Notable Quote:
"Barry Diller... founded the Fox Corporation... he's been the trainer of so many of the major media executives." — Host B [37:44]
A critical analysis is presented on Anna Wintour's impact on Vogue magazine. The hosts lament Wintour's decision to feature celebrities over traditional models, arguing that it marginalizes professional models and shifts the magazine's focus from fashion to celebrity culture. They connect this editorial choice to the overarching theme of superficiality among the elite.
Notable Quote:
"A lot of people like me thought this was fresh and cool... Now, a lot of people don't like it." — Host A [85:40]
Pearl and her co-host draw parallels between historical oligarchies and the current concentration of wealth and power among modern billionaires. They argue that events like Bezos' wedding are microcosms of a larger system where the ultra-wealthy wield disproportionate influence over societal structures, policies, and media narratives.
Notable Quote:
"As our nation Balkanizes and gets ripped apart by these mega corporations... you will see through the girly pop shit of their girlfriends and their wives and their mistresses, who is working together with who." — Host B [74:07]
The discussion broadens to encompass the roles of other billionaires such as Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk. The hosts critique their involvement in media and technology, suggesting that their actions contribute to societal division and the erosion of democratic principles. They also touch upon corporate practices influenced by leadership trained under figures like Barry Diller.
Notable Quote:
"These executives are very similar to Amazon Spice... treating every single person as an Excel sell that they're trying to rip apart for any tiny little dime." — Host B [40:28]
In their closing remarks, Pearl and her co-host emphasize the importance of recognizing the subtle alliances among the wealthy elite. They warn listeners about the potential future where these alliances could dictate the direction of society, economy, and governance. The episode concludes with a call to awareness and vigilance against the growing oligarchic influences.
Notable Quote:
"This has been a backdoor way to get you to invest yourself in crypto. Yeah, we need the crypto money." — Host B [75:22]
The episode wraps up with a blend of frustration and urgency, urging listeners to stay informed and critical of the influences shaping today's elite circles. The hosts blend their disdain for the wedding's superficiality with broader concerns about societal control, leaving listeners with a provocative perspective on wealth and power dynamics.
Disclaimer: This summary captures the key discussions and critiques presented in the podcast episode. The hosts' opinions reflect their personal viewpoints and may contain strong language and biased perspectives.