Elon Musk Is a Lying Loser | TMT #129

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Elon Musk Is a Lying Loser | TMT #129"

Introduction

In episode #129 of "Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500," released on May 25, 2025, hosts Chris Gethard and Mrs. P delve into a critical examination of Elon Musk's recent actions and public persona. The episode intertwines their thorough research with engaging conversations, offering listeners a comprehensive look into their perspectives on Musk's influence and controversies surrounding him.

Main Discussion: Critique of Elon Musk

The primary focus of this episode is a vehement critique of Elon Musk, whom the hosts label as deceitful and manipulative. Chris Gethard leads the conversation, expressing deep frustration with Musk's public statements and actions.

• Musk's Public Statements and PR Tactics

  Chris opens the discussion by addressing Musk's recent claims about stepping back from politics and focusing solely on his business ventures: "He's saying that he's not going to do stuff anymore... focus on Tesla, rockets, Starlink, and tunnels" (01:03). He argues that Musk's declarations are dishonest, suggesting that despite his claims, Musk remains deeply entrenched in political and controversial endeavors.

  Notable Quote:
  "He's lying. And everybody is lining up to try to help him." — Chris Gethard (01:40)

• Comparisons to Historical Figures

  To illustrate his point, Chris draws parallels between Musk and ancient Roman generals, highlighting the absence of accountability in Musk's actions: "In ancient Rome, generals were reminded that they are only mortal... Musk has no one whispering into his ear" (06:47). This comparison underscores the belief that Musk operates without the necessary checks and balances that historical leaders once had.

• Allegations of Racism and Transphobia

  The hosts do not shy away from making serious accusations against Musk, labeling him a "virulent racist" and "transphobe." They delve into Musk's lineage and personal associations, asserting that his background and relationships contribute to his problematic behavior: "Elon Musk is a virulent racist... He's a huge racist" (11:46).

  Notable Quote:
  "Elon Musk is now... He's starting to finally feel the backlash." — Chris Gethard (06:36)

• Impact on Society and Media Influence

  The discussion extends to Musk's influence over media narratives and social platforms. Chris contends that Musk's acquisition and management of Twitter have facilitated the normalization of extremist views, leading to a more polarized and fractured online environment: "Elon Musk has personally put his thumb on the scale for fucking evil. He is an evil man and he is a terrible fucking person" (26:21).

  Notable Quote:
  "Elon Musk has ruined Memphis with your Grok AI server farms." — Chris Gethard (18:42)

Asbestos Canada: A Case Study

Shifting gears, the hosts explore the environmental and health impacts of asbestos mining through the lens of Asbestos Canada, a town that underwent significant transformation.

• History and Health Risks

  Mrs. P provides an in-depth analysis of asbestos, detailing its formation, usage, and the severe health risks it poses: "Chrysotile... can easily become airborne and inhaled, leading to a large variety of respiratory illnesses" (67:28). She highlights the town's reliance on asbestos mining and the resultant public health crises.

• Community Response and Town Renaming

  The episode recounts the town's struggle with its asbestos legacy, culminating in a referendum to change its name to Val Desources to shed negative associations: "On October 19, 2020, 51.5% of voters chose the name Val Desources... despite pushback from some residents" (80:19). This move was intended to revitalize the town's image and attract tourism, though opinions among residents remained divided.

  Notable Quote:
  "Mesothelioma is number one." — Mrs. P (67:32)

• Current Status and Ongoing Issues

  Despite the name change, the lingering presence of asbestos and its environmental impact persists. The hosts discuss the global context, mentioning that the largest asbestos mine remains operational in Russia, exacerbating health concerns: "Asbestos Russia... half the size of Manhattan and more than a thousand feet deep" (87:43).

Conclusion

Episode #129 of "Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500" offers a passionate critique of Elon Musk, juxtaposed with a detailed exploration of the asbestos industry's legacy. Through animated discussions and well-researched insights, Chris Gethard and Mrs. P present their viewpoints on how influential figures and industrial practices shape societal outcomes. The episode underscores the importance of accountability, ethical leadership, and environmental responsibility.

Notable Quotes:

1. "He's lying. And everybody is lining up to try to help him." — Chris Gethard (01:40)
2. "Elon Musk is now... He's starting to finally feel the backlash." — Chris Gethard (06:36)
3. "Elon Musk has ruined Memphis with your Grok AI server farms." — Chris Gethard (18:42)
4. "Mesothelioma is number one." — Mrs. P (67:32)

Final Thoughts

For listeners interested in in-depth discussions on contemporary issues and thorough research-driven conversations, "Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500" continues to deliver engaging content. This episode serves as a testament to the hosts' dedication to uncovering and analyzing pressing topics impacting our world today.

Transcript

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[Chris Gethard]

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[Mrs. P]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Mrs. P]

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[Chris Gethard]

Can I tell you something, Mrs. P?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Can I tell you. He's doing it again.

[Mrs. P]

Who's doing what?

[Chris Gethard]

Elon Musk.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no.

[Chris Gethard]

He's lying. And the media is just fucking gobbling it up. No, no, no, no. Like little guppies.

[Mrs. P]

What are you lying about now?

[Chris Gethard]

He's saying that he's not going to do stuff anymore. He's like. He's like, I'm not going to do politics anymore. I'm Elon Musk and people have been mean to me. So I'm not going to spend any more money on politics.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm not going to spend any more time at the White House.

[Mrs. P]

Sure.

[Chris Gethard]

And I'm just going to focus on Tesla. I'm going to work on Tesla and my rockets and Starlink and the. The tunnels.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And then that's what I'm going to do.

[Mrs. P]

Doesn't Starlink have government contracts?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. So basically, he's lying. He's lying. He's 100% lying. He's lying about everything.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And everybody is lining up to try to help him.

[Mrs. P]

Is it. Is he just saying he's leaving because he's so bad on camera and so unlikable that everyone hates them?

[Chris Gethard]

I can tell you what's happening.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. And I don't know this for a fact, but allegedly, this is me, not even a legend opinion. This is my opinion from What I've seen from over the last few years of Elon in general, and just, like, looking at his demeanor and the clips and these different.

[Mrs. P]

Sure.

[Chris Gethard]

I think Elon has brought his dosage down a little bit. I think he is off the high. Okay, let's say he's not high.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm saying he's off the. The feeling got it right. He's not riding it. He's not. He's not Elon with the chainsaw and the sunglasses. I have become meme. He's not that. He's. Right now. He's doing. He's. He's been doing a lot less.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

He's been hiding back. And I think what happened is. I think. I think some people got near him and they had him, like, sit back for a little bit. They. They. Maybe they dried him out for a day.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And then they said, here's some charts.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Here's some analytics.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Here's some. Here's some Q1 stats.

[Mrs. P]

All right.

[Chris Gethard]

For your companies. Right. And then they brought in some PR people, and the PR people were like, shut the fuck up for a little bit.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Because he kind of did. He's had, like, a couple weeks here where he hasn't really said for him. He said some crazy shit, sure. But nothing like that. Pops a rating.

[Mrs. P]

I feel like I haven't seen news about him and his tomfoolery since. Was it the Michigan thing where.

[Chris Gethard]

That was when he started. He started dialing it back out.

[Mrs. P]

That's what. Because it was a huge loss.

[Chris Gethard]

It was a huge loss.

[Mrs. P]

He put a lot of money into trying to win a judge. Right?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. It wasn't Michigan. It was Wisconsin.

[Mrs. P]

It was Wisconsin because, remember, he put.

[Chris Gethard]

The cheese hat on.

[Mrs. P]

Got it.

[Chris Gethard]

They kept showing. My favorite is. There's an image of him with the cheese head on.

[Mrs. P]

Loves a hat.

[Chris Gethard]

That guy. But he's like that with the giant American flag. He's like holding a microphone. Because here's the one. Here's the one thing I will give Elon. It's the only thing I'm gonna give him, which is a negative from his perspective. But the one thing that I like. Yes. Did Has Carnegie and these other different people build massive public works. Yes, they did do that.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, they did that.

[Chris Gethard]

What is Elon given us? Himself dressed up like sad, fat Wario. So that way, when. When a news article is bad, it's like, boom, Sad, fat warrior right there.

[Mrs. P]

There's a lot of images of him.

[Chris Gethard]

Looking real bad, just real bad all the time. And so you can always just, like, he running a newspaper. If I'm running a news website and I need to go. Because there's photo editors.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Who? They go in. They're like, okay, I want to show, like, there was recently a Rolling Stone article about Josh Hawley. You know Josh Hawley, senator from Missouri.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Famous for running away on January 6th.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

But then saying it wasn't a big deal. But then they were like, here's a video. You running like a scared little bitch.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Anyway, there's a picture of him being like, who? Into the cameras.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And the subtitle, it was something along the lines of, like, missouri Senator begs for FEMA assistance after all these people died of tornadoes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And Trump has shut down FEMA because.

[Mrs. P]

Of the Doge cuts caused by elon musk.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. 100%. 100%. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That's what we're getting with. Okay, so, but the photo editor, the picture of him being like, oh, Josh Hawley's face, that was purposely picked to, like, make you think he's reacting to that. That headline, when it could have been from a different time.

[Mrs. P]

Sure.

[Chris Gethard]

You pointed out to me recently there was a. There was an image of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And one thing that's been fun is people keep posting her old face and hair because.

[Mrs. P]

Old face.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Because she's using federal money now to get extensions.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Plastic surgery.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, plastic surgery. Extension.

[Mrs. P]

She looks like a whole different person.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. If you go back and you look at a picture of Kristi Noem.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And honestly, you know what we're doing right now. But I'm giving work to Mr. Third because I expect images right here. Everything I described.

[Mrs. P]

You gotta do the timestamp.

[Chris Gethard]

Just pictured. Boom. Right there. Boom. Right there. Okay. Show me. Wait, watch this, watch this. Ready?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Fat Wario. Elon.

[Mrs. P]

Boom. Magic.

[Chris Gethard]

You better work, bitch. Now, in the.

[Mrs. P]

In the words of Britney Spears.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. In the words of Britney Spears.

[Mrs. P]

Friend of the pod.

[Chris Gethard]

Friend of the pod. Throw her up there. There's a video of Britney Spears dancing around with knives. I want it playing next to me for the rest of this podcast.

[Mrs. P]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean. I didn't. Put it up.

[Chris Gethard]

Put it up. And anything you don't. Just so you know, Mr. Third, I know you're sitting over there. You can hear him laughing in the background. He thinks this is all a big joke, but it's not. I will fire him. I. Out of a cannon. But no, I, I, I, I expect all of these. And if they're not there, the comments will tell you so. No, but. No, no, we're having. We're having fun. We're having more fun than Elon Musk.

[Mrs. P]

Everybody has more fun than Elon.

[Chris Gethard]

I think everybody does have more fun.

[Mrs. P]

Than Elon, especially his kids, because they don't have to be around him.

[Chris Gethard]

I hate this man so much. Yeah, no, he. So Elon. Elon is now. He's. He's starting to finally feel the backlash, I think, because you know what it is in ancient Rome. Let me. Let's. Let's go ahead. Let's open a tab on this.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, boy.

[Chris Gethard]

In ancient Rome, when a general would win a glorious battle, right? The general would have what's called a triumph, sure. And in a triumph, they would get in a chariot and they would ride into Rome with all the spoils of their battles in front of them. The slaves they caught, the elephants, the treasure, the booty, all these different things.

[Mrs. P]

Wheat.

[Chris Gethard]

All of it. The big carts of wheat back in the day. A big cart of wheat that.

[Mrs. P]

You got a big cart of wheat right there.

[Chris Gethard]

You're gonna get some good. You're getting some good. Forum on that one. Okay? But anyway, actually, dome. It would be dome. You'd be getting good dome. The Romans invented domes. Anyway. That's a stupid pun. That's the dumbest blowjob pun I've ever told. The Parthenon. So we. The Pantheon. I need to get back on topic here. When the Roman generals would have their triumph, there would be. There'd be two people on the chariot, okay? The Roman general be driving it. And standing behind him would be, I believe it was a slave or a servant or somebody. And they would hold the crown of laurels over their head, okay? And they're supposed to whisper into the general's ear, remember, you are only mortal. Remember, you are only mortal. Remember, you are only mortal. And here's the thing about our billionaires.

[Mrs. P]

There's not somebody whispering in their ears.

[Chris Gethard]

Nobody's telling them shit. And that's where Elon up. That's why Elon ended up on ketamine or with his stupid fucking goggles and his stupid hat, waving around a fucking chainsaw, yelling, I have become mean. Because no one. There's no culture in a white South African's head to remind them that this, too will end. Elon. That it doesn't matter if you're the richest man in the world. It doesn't matter how much power you have. It doesn't matter what you feel you're building. Eventually you yourself will. Will die. Do you? And this goes out even to that other guy who thinks he's going to live forever. Was it Brian Johnson? I think he is the creepy one.

[Mrs. P]

The. The blood.

[Chris Gethard]

The blood guy. Yeah. The way he keeps taking his son's blood. And like I'm going to keep my dad young too. And he's trying to. He's. They all think that because of the Internet, they think they're going to be forever. They think they're not going to age.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

They think they're never going to die.

[Mrs. P]

It's such a crazy thought that they think that especially through the Internet, they'll live forever. When Everything is a 24 hour news cycle and I don't remember anything from yesterday.

[Chris Gethard]

No. But also like when you go back to the Internet, like I. Every once in a while, about once or twice a year, my TikTok feed booms me by one person.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

It is overly attached girlfriend. Do you remember that meme?

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Chris Gethard]

Mr. Mr. Third. Just write down the timestamp. Overly attached girlfriend. Do you remember this meme?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

It's the lady looking like. Huh. Like it's like this very. You can look it up.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

But it. She has a TikTok account count.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, I have seen that before.

[Chris Gethard]

And so it was a meme from back. It's a very early meme. She makes a face I think in a YouTube video and it goes like this meme. Her bad luck, Brian. All these different memes from back in the day, they were everywhere. Sure, they were everywhere. They. They had a cultural zeitgeist that was incredible. And you know what happens? About once or twice a year she shows up in my TikTok feed and just like. Yeah. The Internet's weird. Things change.

[Mrs. P]

I have a job now.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm a grown. She was grown then. It's just one of those things where it's just like to remind people. I just keep thinking about, I am Ozymandias. Look upon my works and. And tremble. It's a famous. I think it's a poem or as a story about this statue that someone finds in a desert. And it's about this crazy statue of this great. I'm this great terrible leader. And look at all these things I have done. And it's literally staring at an empty desert.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Everything they ever did has been turned to dust. Yeah. And ash. And it's like. Yeah. Because time happens. You can have your effect, those ripples. But like a guy like Elon has had this weird belief. I Think he got so high on his own supply that he has had this weird belief that between his spending and. And his control and all these different industries, that he believes that he is on the top of that. The people in those industries are like, you are not.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. He does not make great cars.

[Chris Gethard]

You don't make great cars.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. They're any of this different shit.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. No. All that different stuff. All of that. He feels like this great conqueror.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And now that the high and the. The tint has worn off a little bit now over the last few days, it's quite clear to me that he is on a PR run. And in that PR run, he is saying that he's stepping back.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Because he's trying to. He's trying to. Because he's trying to save his ego.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

But it's a combination of save his ego and also save his brand. Because the one thing I think a lot of people have been confused about a few things. Number one, Elon Musk is a. Is a virulent racist.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, Absolutely.

[Chris Gethard]

He's a huge racist. And he's always been mad about the ending of apartheid in South Africa. And it's very clear, as we've talked about with his grandfather on the. The episode about race. Elon Musk's racist grandfather. Virulent racist. Who raised his mom, who, in the divorce, Elon went with his mom.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

And his mom is a giant psycho racist. Elon is close with her. That he. This has always been there. He's all. He pretended to have liberal leanings. He pretended to care about diversity. He pretended to care about LGBTQ and all this other different stuff. Yeah. Until he got to a point where he's like, cool. I don't have to fake it anymore.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And then the one we. The guy we've been getting, that is the real Elon.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

That is always all these people denying it.

[Mrs. P]

And I don't. This is the thing. I know we've talked about this before, but it frustrates me to no end. Is like when he threw up that Roman salute. They all called it.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Like, just. If that's how you think, if that's the horrible person you are, you just be it at this point. Why do they keep trying to dog whistle?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I don't understand what the point of dog whistling is at this moment in time.

[Chris Gethard]

Because he. Because Elon's also a coward. He's a nerdy coward who has no true confidence. All of his confidence is fake. And that same thing goes through all these other different guys. Who are in this entire circle of them is like, none of them are confident enough to be a full on open, virulent Nazi. And also when they look at those guys, they don't want those guys on their side.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

They want to do Nazi shit without actually having to go to the rally.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

They want to have Nazi policies.

[Mrs. P]

They want to have Nazi haircuts, Andrew.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. But they want to do all of that shit without having to pretend like, listen, the one thing Trump will do, Trump will bring Kid Rock on.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Trump will have a Trump rally. Have you ever noticed that Trump is never at a Kid Rock concert? You ever notice that Trump doesn't go to the fucking truck rallies. He has the truck rallies come to Trump.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And so he is trying to. He's trying to guild that. That fucking pile of shit and. And make that those people feel like they are going to be blessed in this golden age.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Versus guys like Elon with his pipelines and all this other bullshit that he's been pulling. He has been desperately trying to figure out a way that he can still do his eugenics pipeline without ever actually having to be associated with the failures of the past and the lesser than people. Because a lot of. A lot of, like, clans people, a lot of these fucking Nazis and especially Internet Nazis. All this stuff, when you go see them, they're fucking losers.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

They're losers who need desperately to blame everyone else for their fucking problems. And so this pivot that he's been doing right now has been pretty incredible. And because, one, he's lying.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

And two, so many people are trying desperately to help him with this lie. It's crazy. So that way they can get another shot at his money.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Which is why. So let me play the first one here.

[Mrs. P]

Oh. Oh, no. I have to watch a clip.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, you're going to watch a clip.

[Mrs. P]

Gross.

[Chris Gethard]

Because. Well, I want you to hear it.

[Mrs. P]

I hate this zoom call.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, no, no. You're going to like.

[Mrs. P]

Can I have my camera off during this?

[Chris Gethard]

You can have your camera. Your camera's off the entire time.

[Mrs. P]

I know.

[Chris Gethard]

Your camera is never on. All right, so this is. This is the first one for you. Ready?

[Mrs. P]

Okay, ready. I think.

[Chris Gethard]

In terms of political spending, I'm going to do a lot less in the future.

[Mrs. P]

And why is that?

[Chris Gethard]

I think I've done enough. So when he said, I think I've done enough, you can't hear it from the shitty laptop speakers, but he is. This is him. He's doing a zoom call into a massive conference. So Elon's on a giant screen. Okay, okay. And there's a person sitting on a stage in front of a massive theater full of people. When he said, I've done enough, the whole room laughed, babe. The whole room laughed. Hey, you want to dress like an adult and still have walking around money, you need to check out Quint's. Quint has all the things you actually want to wear this spring, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. The best part is, is that everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find from similar brands. You'll be looking great and saving tons of money. And guess what, guys? If you're watching this on the YouTube, you're watching me this entire time wear a Quince shirt. That's right. I'm wearing the flow knit Breeze Henley tee. I got it right here in the burgundy. I think it looks really great.

[Mrs. P]

Aubergine.

[Chris Gethard]

You like it?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, I love it.

[Chris Gethard]

And then also, I receive this flowknit performance half zip in the heather green. I really. I love them so much. I love the feel of them. And they're just so nice. And they came directly to our front door. They have a lot of options for men, women, and just whoever you're looking for right now. Quint's cuts out the middleman and works directly with top artisans to bring you incredible stuff. Their factories only use premium fabrics and finishes, along with safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices. It's quality and it's conscientious. Elevate your closet with quince. Go to quince.comtmt for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q, U, I N C E.comtmt for too many tabs to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.comtmt oh, and the look on his face is a man who is like, for the first time, they said. Remember when Elon went on stage with Dave Chappelle back in.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yes.

[Chris Gethard]

They said that he was like, people had to talk him almost off a ledge because, like, that night is what broke him. Yeah, it was. One of the things they said is, like, he felt so, like, humiliated by that. And that moment. Like, this is. This is doubling down again, which is him being. I've done enough. And it's like, well, yeah, of course you think that you have. You've gotten space X contracts, put into trade negotiations. You've used DOGE to cut programs left and right. Because you are trying to hurt as many people that do not fit into your eugenics program as possible.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

You've destroyed, decimated and gutted any federal agency that was currently doing investigations into the myriad of crimes that you, Elon Musk, and your companies have done to both the American federal taxpayer and to the American people. People.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

You have cut the EPA and other organizations so that way they won't investigate the fact that you are ruining Memphis with your Grok. AI Fucking server farms.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. They're like. Their windows shake and they don't have clean water.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. They're destroying shit down there. You have carte blanche to do whatever the fuck you want. Of course you've done enough. It only cost you $250 million.

[Mrs. P]

And he's not going to stop. He's just going to do it quietly so people don't get mad and blame him.

[Chris Gethard]

The difference is he thought he could do. He thought he could be Calig.

[Mrs. P]

Wait.

[Chris Gethard]

Or Nero.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, stop.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay, real quick.

[Mrs. P]

You just showed me that video.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Of that weird man saying that. I need to tell you, the first thing is I thought he looked like Zorg.

[Chris Gethard]

Do you know who Zorg is from.

[Mrs. P]

From Gary Oldman in the Fifth Element.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, yeah. No, no. He is. Yeah. He's going for Zorg.

[Mrs. P]

Look, Mr. Third, I'm gonna need a Zork picture of Gary Oldman.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Added so people can see. That's. I was like, oh, that's just Zorg talk. Yes. I've done enough.

[Chris Gethard]

You know what's funny actually, with Zorg, here's another billionaire, okay. Who you may. May not have heard of. You know of Lucky Palmer?

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. Yeah. Mr. Third just looked over Lucky Palmer. Go ahead and look him up right now because he just did a 60 Minutes interview. Lucky Palmer invented. He was one of the people behind the Oculus Rift, which later became the Meta. Oculus. Which. The VR headset.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, the dust collectors.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes, the one that everybody buy. That people bought and then set to the side because they realized they needed to have a Facebook account to use them. But he helped with that. But then you know what he did? He took that money and he immediately pivoted into making AI weapons. He's huge into drones and all these different things. But are you looking at a picture of him right now? Yeah. Okay. Look at that chin thing.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. You know what? That is the first picture I see of him. I'm like, oh, it's.

[Chris Gethard]

Other.

[Mrs. P]

Other version. Like, what's the other. When you're in a different. Oh. Oh, my God, my. Sorry, my brain. He looks like Theo Vaughn. But he looks like Theo Vaughn if we were an alternate universe.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay, no, I'm gonna say he's. He looks like Theo Vaughn if Theo Vaughn didn't pretend to be stupid. Because Theo Vaughn pretends to be stupid. Yeah, Theo Vaughn for those of you guys. But real quick. Okay, we're gonna get back to Elon. Hold on. I just want to say one thing about Theo Von Trader.

[Mrs. P]

Liar. Faker.

[Chris Gethard]

All that's true. Yes. But also the Ovon is actually incredibly intelligent and he's playing a character that is dumb.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

Theo Vaughn is Larry the Cable Guy for the Instagram generation. I mean, think about. Larry the Cable Guy is a character. Larry the Cable Guy. He is. Larry the Cable Guy actually is not even from the South. I think he's from the upper Midwest. That accent is fake. Everything about Larry the Cable Guy is fake. He was a stand up comedian. I think actually. Actually he might actually be from New York. I'm not sure. Nebraska. But he is, he is. He was a New York comic who would get up and do classic aid, Larry the Cable Guy, classic 80s style comedy for a very, very, very long time. And one day he did this character, Larry the Cable Guy. That's what got him tied in with Jeff Foxworthy and he started literally putting on a costume.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Theo Vaughan is from the South. He used to, I believe, Louisiana. And he has an actual accent. But the thing is about the Ovana is the Ovan is incredibly intelligent.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

I think last year alone his Tour brought in $50 million. That's just his tour. You aren't. You can't be stupid and get that type of fucking money.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Everything that he's been doing has been calculated and timed. Okay. And every time he makes any sort of statement about anything, I just want to remind you guys with this image that Mr. Third is about to put up on the screen of the Ovan having brunch with the Kushners.

[Mrs. P]

The Kushners who want to build a holiday resort in Gaza.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. Ah, that one.

[Mrs. P]

I just looked at his wiki page. He went to the University of New Orleans, got his bachelor's degree and in urban planning.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. So yeah, real idiot. Real idiot industry over there, planning. His mom went to Duke. Yeah. Okay, so that, that we have it. We hate him even more.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, this is it.

[Chris Gethard]

My mom went to University of North Carolina. Ok, okay, now you tell me he has Duke ties.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no, no.

[Chris Gethard]

But in general, with all these different guys, when it comes to that side of things, a Lot.

[Mrs. P]

Wait a minute. But Elon's pretending to be smart. But he's dumb.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. Everybody's pretending to be the opposite of what they are. Yeah, everybody. I know. I need to fake something. I need to pretend. What do I pretend about?

[Mrs. P]

Okay, so you can pretend that you're not a ginger. No, gingers are cool right now.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, we went through this last episode.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, I'm sorry. Redheaded persons.

[Chris Gethard]

Red velvet cupcake. Okay. All right. No, hold on. No. So Lucky Palmer.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

That's where we are. Okay. Because Lucky. Yes. He has that Theo. Because they both do the mullet thing. Yeah, It's. He and he always. The whole thing with Lucky Palmer is he always wears a Hawaiian shirt.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And his reasoning for it is because he's trying to be the cool guy. He. Look at me. I'm not like the other billionaires. I'm chill. Oh, yeah, no, whatever. But at the end of the day, he still only really gives a about money.

[Mrs. P]

Tiki torture guys wear Hawaiian shirts.

[Chris Gethard]

The Bugaloo Boys.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

Bugaloo Boys were accelerationists who wanted to start Civil War two. Electric Boogaloo. That's their whole thing. That's a different thing. Stop that. But no, his reasoning is the mullet. This stupid chin strap that he has.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And the reason why I bring it up is because Zorg has a stupid soul patch thing.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, soul patch.

[Chris Gethard]

But Zorg is also a weapons dealer.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

The same as Lucky Palmer. Lucky Palmer is a big backer of Ukraine in the war against Russia. Because even though Lucky Palmer himself is MAGA and all these different things, because it's been a great testing ground for him to roll out AI weapons and to test them against a, quote, modern military.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, cool.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

But also, doesn't Elon do weapons? Because isn't that, like, one of his things?

[Chris Gethard]

Part of the thing with Starlink.

[Mrs. P]

Starlink.

[Chris Gethard]

Starlink has been.

[Mrs. P]

Stargate is a show.

[Chris Gethard]

Stargate is a show.

[Mrs. P]

Got it.

[Chris Gethard]

Great show. Amazing show. I should watch Stargate.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

I should watch Stargate instead of my phone. Sometimes I'd probably be better off.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, you'd sleep so much better.

[Chris Gethard]

I would sleep so much better anyway. Stop it. You're getting me off.

[Mrs. P]

Back to Zorg.

[Chris Gethard]

Look at me. Okay, so Lucky Palmer.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, back to Lucky.

[Chris Gethard]

He just had a 60 Minutes interview where in that he keeps talking about, he's like, well, we got to build AI Weapons. We have to build the Terminators from Terminator because someone else is just going to build them. And that's his whole reasoning and his logic that he and a lot of these different billionaires do. So to tie him with Elon, Elon rolls out Starlink, which is everywhere. And one of the big ways Starlink was displayed was again, in the Ukrainian war, was Ukraine was using Starlink on the front lines to be able to still do communications and to still be able to access the Dr. And wi fi and all those other different things using the Internet programs. Sure. And so that was a part of it there. Now, the reason I'm bringing up Starlink again, Elon's being like, I'm stepping back. The Starlink is in all of the contracts.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And all of the trade talks.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

But also at the same time, the day that Elon was like, I am stepping back, I'm not going to do stuff about politics.

[Mrs. P]

I've done enough.

[Chris Gethard]

I've done enough. It's been me. I'm just. I'm going to focus more on time. Tesla. I need Tesla because he needs Tesla stock to rise.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

The whole thing is Tesla stock to stay over a certain number. Because Elon Musk is actually a paper tiger billionaire for a lot of things.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And they had a car sale at the White House.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. All those different things, all these weird moments that have happened with Elon, he. He has to keep popping a rating among his investors and keep people to keep it above a certain point because he's so leveraged on his stock, he's borrowed a lot of money against it to do things like buy Twitter, to do things like buy these different things. And so that way he can still show power in the market.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

The same day he was like, I'm not doing as much. That's when Trump stepped forward and said, oh, we're going to roll out a big, beautiful golden dome.

[Mrs. P]

A dome.

[Chris Gethard]

A dome.

[Mrs. P]

What are we doing a dome for?

[Chris Gethard]

So the Golden Dome is based on the Iron Dome.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

So the Iron Dome is a concept in Israel of a defensive rocket dome. So it's not actually building a huge shield over the country, but it's the idea that you're going to have these things that shoot rockets out of the sky.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. So if somebody like Iran builds an ICBM or North Korea that has nuclear payload at it, they can shoot it at the United States and that will be able to catch a missile. Will catch the missile.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And they'll take it out.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

It's a concept that was rolled out back in the 1980s.

[Mrs. P]

Sure.

[Chris Gethard]

Under a program called Star wars by Ronald Reagan.

[Mrs. P]

I hate Ronald Reagan so much.

[Chris Gethard]

I know. But they're rolling it out again, but this time under Trump. They're calling it Golden Dome because they point to it. Because in Israel when there's been rocket attacks, they have video of the rockets being shot down a lot of times using American weapons. However, in this case, because it would be ICBMs, which are intercontinental ballistic missiles, you would need to have a space faring level weapon. Okay, so who do we know that builds rockets that can go into space and who currently has satellites?

[Mrs. P]

So we. So what you're saying is right now Zorg and Goldfinger from the goldeneye. No, no. Austin Powers. I love gold.

[Chris Gethard]

Which one is that?

[Mrs. P]

Whatever.

[Chris Gethard]

Joel Finger is the real James Bond.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Now, Gold member.

[Mrs. P]

So Zorgon Gold member. Right now are coming up with an idea where they're going to have satellite missiles in space.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

That are going to be aimed at America.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Where Trump will have the button. Or Elon could have the button. Yeah. And then like, they're like, oh, well, if someone shoots at us, we'll shoot the missile. Or if there's a podcast we don't like, we could shoot a missile at it.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Because it's satellite.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So you're saying that all American citizens would then have satellites projected upon it would be space.

[Chris Gethard]

It would be a giant sword of Damocles that hangs over the entire country. Country.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

At the low, low cost of $175 billion.

[Mrs. P]

What? Which is why money. Because we had to cut Medicaid.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. And which is why we also had.

[Mrs. P]

To cut the national parks in the.

[Chris Gethard]

Library and the $4 billion of LIHEAP funding for seniors to not freeze to death in the winter or to get.

[Mrs. P]

Overheated in the summer. Because they do also provide air conditioning for people that live in, like, Arizona.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. All these cuts are.

[Mrs. P]

Don't need those. I want missiles pointed at my house.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. But all of these cuts are so then they can claim they have the money available to fund these other projects.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Four things that we've never actually needed. Because I want to point out something about the Star wars project. What's that? Because I'm 41 years old. I just want to say point something out. An intercon intercontinental ballistic missile has never been shot in the United States. There's been one attack on the U.S. mainland that. That was scary enough to send us into war. And it was using American planes that we would not that we only shot out of the sky. One of. Of the 4, 9, 11.

[Mrs. P]

I was gonna make a joke that I forgot what it was.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, okay.

[Mrs. P]

I Felt inappropriate.

[Chris Gethard]

I saw you making a face and I was like, did you forget? 9, 11. There was. I did. There was a moment.

[Mrs. P]

I think I'm glad that you came through. Just my face that you knew what the joke was gonna be.

[Chris Gethard]

Your face that no one can see.

[Mrs. P]

I know.

[Chris Gethard]

And so it was just me. So now I'm insane. And then you made me say it, so thank you.

[Mrs. P]

I know.

[Chris Gethard]

Evil monster.

[Mrs. P]

I know.

[Chris Gethard]

No, but in all these different cases, it would be much cheaper to just try to find a world of peace where we wouldn't be going to war.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

But instead, all of these rich psychopaths who like building weapons of destruction have come together and had a conversation where, listen, we can all build our big toys. And also these poor people can fucking die. And also we can build towards the ultimate war that we've all been warned about. Yeah. From every form of science fiction possible. Because we will have golden eye level weapons pointed at the United States.

[Mrs. P]

Because they read those books and we're like, these bad guys really get it.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

The rest of us were like, let's all avoid these specific bad guy behaviors. And they were like, no, I do want to become a giant worm of my father.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Yeah. I do want to become the worm from Dune. They all. They all read. They all read the story of Leto and they went, we all gotta be Dune. We're all gonna do.

[Mrs. P]

I like how I never read that book.

[Chris Gethard]

I know.

[Mrs. P]

Explained it to me enough where I understand that a son became a worm and then he reigned terror for millennia or something.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

That is how to teach people a lesson about voting. Better.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. It's 100% in. In Dune 2. In Dune Messiah, there is a moment. Hold on. In Dune Messiah, there is a moment where they literally compare Paul Atreides, the main character, who's played by Timothy Chalamet. They're like, man, you did a lot better than that warlord guy named Hitler back from old history. And they just like, they'll get. Hitler was just a warlord.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And it actually was kind of eye opening because we're starting to see that more and more with, like, people who talk about World War II and they talk about Hitler and stuff. Stats and looking at, like, the Nazis in general. And they're starting to decouple the horror because there aren't. The people who are around.

[Mrs. P]

They're not alive anymore.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. The Holocaust survivors and veterans of World War II were like, no, no, shut up. You're missing the fucking lesson.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, exactly. Because when I'm. I know that when I was growing up, we went. I forget what museum we went to. We went to a museum, and there was a Holocaust survivor there who spoke to us and, like, that had the tattoos and explained what it was about.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And, like, it was part of my education also. I had family members who were very old but had been in World War II to, like, tell me about things.

[Chris Gethard]

But it was also, too. When people would talk about World War II, it was just. It was just. It was a bigger sense of it more than I played Call of Duty. World at War.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Like, that's. That's. Again, it's. It's been commodified and it's been meme. Ified. Yeah. And all these different things. Now, speaking of Nazis, let's get back to Elon. Okay. Because. No, shut up. Okay. Because can I tell you something I did do. When we did the Elon Musk grandpa episode? I did. I have a deep dive research about Elon.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

That is now out of date because so much has happened since.

[Mrs. P]

It was.

[Chris Gethard]

It was last year. But I had this very big research bible about Elon Musk. And I was like, you know, someday I'll get to this.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And not. Not happening. This is about as close as I think I'm willing to do is just this week alone of him pretending that he's not doing what he's doing. And watching people like the Washington. Like the Washington Post, owned by Jeff Bezos, released an article being like, elon stepping back, y' all. And it's like, to this point, like, I'm at a point with the Washington Post, which used to be a paper of record in my family, like, a thing that we really like, followed through because of Watergate and other things.

[Mrs. P]

Things. Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Fuck that paper. Yeah. There's all these different organizations that I have now trust less. And not because of the old feelings of conspiracy theorists and things like that when it comes to mainstream media, because now more and more, we know who owns them.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And more and more, they're openly stepping and putting their. Their finger on the thumb.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Of how this reporting is coming out, how the editorializing coming out, how the headlines are being written. Yeah. The article can say one thing, and the headline will say something that is clearly designed to say something completely different. Speaking of which, though, let's hear more from Elon. And this time it was Elon crying. Hold on. This is him about blaming the media for everything. Is Elon on cnbc standing in front of his Tesla. He's sitting in a room full of Teslas and This was the same day as that other interview he did because again, it was a media blitz, not day.

[Mrs. P]

Can I tell you something really funny real quick before you make me watch another video of Elon?

[Chris Gethard]

Sure. After seven nights of eating cereal out of a mug in a row, make some healthy, simple meals with Factor Factor sends chef prepared meals right to your door. Heat them up for just two minutes and dinner is served. With 45 weekly menu options across a huge range of dietary preferences. No matter your lifestyle, there's something you'll love.

[Mrs. P]

I love number one, the convenience. It's so simple and easy. I preorder the foods here. I microwave it. Recently I had a beef bolognese to die for. It was so good.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. You can even add on breakfast and on the go lunches, guilt free snacks, desserts to your order. You really like the smoothies?

[Mrs. P]

I love the smoothies.

[Chris Gethard]

And if you are listening to this and you want to get started, you can get started@Factor Meals.com Too many 50 off and use code Too many 50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code Too many 50 off@Factor Meals.com Too Many 50 off for 50% plus free shipping.

[Mrs. P]

So I was driving to go get groceries the other day and they're building like a new. There's some new building getting built not too far from here.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And the landscaping guys were outside putting in all the landscaping. So like the nice planters and the bricks and baba. And as I was like, I was at a stoplight, so I was looking at the landscaping. I'm very, I love looking at landscaping.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So I'm looking at the way they're saying the landscaping. But then I became completely disgusted, but yet in awe because they were. The back of a cyber truck was filled with soil and all of these guys were shoveling dirt out of the back of a cyber truck to put into these planters they had built. And I thought to myself, someone owns a landscaping company who also owns a cyber truck and they, there's some, some money has gone wrong somewhere that they have to use a personal use vehicle to give to their team of landscapers.

[Chris Gethard]

I can tell you what happened, but.

[Mrs. P]

Tell me what happened.

[Chris Gethard]

I can tell you what happened completely. He's trying to write the cyber truck off. The landscapers trying to write the cybertruck.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. It's a business.

[Chris Gethard]

He's 100. He's like, if I can get you guys to use a cybertruck for, for six months, I can then sell it to myself.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

And I can write the entire. I can. I can devalue the entire truck.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

Because landlords do this all the time. Every landlord. When I used to work at that bank, and we had a lot of landlords. Every single one of them. Every single one drove the Most massive Ford F150 with leather seats you've ever seen. Because. Oh, the renter, they broke a door. So I need to go drive a door. A new door over. They got there and then sign it off. Sign it off. Sign it off. Yeah. They had a high beer beams on aimed right in the back of our tiny little hatchback. Yeah, all that different. Anyway, here is the man who writes off everything, Elon Musk, saying that everything is the media's fault, and go try to claim that I was a Nazi because of some random hand gesture gesture at a rally where all I said was that my heart goes out to you, and I was talking about space travel. And yet the legacy media promoted that as though that was a deliberate Nazi gesture where. When. In fact, every politician, any public speaker who's spoken for any length of time has made the exact same gesture, and yet there's still people out there. And I've never harmed. I've never harmed a single person. You know what, Elon? Okay, okay.

[Mrs. P]

Number one, the legacy media reported that it wasn't that.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes, I know. I know. The legacy made me think I was crazy. The one he's complaining about was the one including the Anti Defamation League. We're like. It was at a random. That was a.

[Mrs. P]

That was crazy. Definitely wasn't that thing that. It definitely looked like.

[Chris Gethard]

It's crazy that your autism just makes your arm do that. Yeah, like, I've seen every excuse.

[Mrs. P]

Well, I heard there's gonna be a registry now.

[Chris Gethard]

Hold on real fast. Real. Okay, real fast. Just for those guys who don't know what arm gesture we're talking about because you were under a Rock on January 20th.

[Mrs. P]

Don't you do it.

[Chris Gethard]

We're talking about this arm gesture right here. This one right here. Mr. Third. Oh, man. That's crazy. You found a full gif of him doing it, and it's emot. Gift.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, look at that. Motion gift go.

[Mrs. P]

But anyway, this episode's coming out on Monday.

[Chris Gethard]

Ah. Oh, man. Anyway, this is why everyone should listen to the podcast on Apple Podcast or on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcast. And then give us five stars on your favorite podcast list.

[Mrs. P]

Like.

[Chris Gethard]

And subscribe.

[Mrs. P]

Listen.

[Chris Gethard]

If more people. If. If the audio is number one, then I don't have to keep throwing tricks like this to keep the YouTube engagement up.

[Mrs. P]

Got it, got it.

[Chris Gethard]

Because that's why Mr. Third has to do all this editing. Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Or hear me out. Like, and subscribe and comment on YouTube and share with all of your friends.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So that we can keep Mr. Third employed. We're helping. We're helping the economy. More than Elon.

[Chris Gethard]

More than Elon doesn't pay anybody. Yeah. But let's talk about Elon again, because I know that's what you want to do. So. Yeah, it's him claiming the legacy media, like the Washington Post, like cnbc, like all these other different orcs who fell over themselves to be like, no, that's not what he meant. He said his heart goes out to you. And it was like, no, it was the people who said you're a Nazi.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Because the people saw you do Nazi shit, you fucking Nazi.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And then on top of that, inside of this, he starts going like, anyone who speaks for an extent, he. He tried doing monkeys with a typewriter. You know that there's that saying of like, if you get a room full of chimpanzees and you give them all typewriters.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

You give an infinite amount of time.

[Mrs. P]

Sure.

[Chris Gethard]

Eventually they'll write Shakespeare.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

That. That's his thing. He's like, eventually, any public speaker will just throw it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

I want to tell you something, Elon. I've been speaking in front of crowds for 23 years. Probably even more.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, probably more.

[Chris Gethard]

But 23 years as a professional stand up k comedian. Okay, maybe not professional the entire time, but as a stand up comedian, I have thousands of hours being in front of crowds of people, and not once have I unintentionally just thrown that salute out there, you fucking psycho. Much less turned around and did it a fucking again while an old man in the crowd did it back at me. Which nobody else in the media ever fucking pointed out to you.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And then how enthused. How Nazis you talk about the legacy media. Nick Fuentes was like, that dude threw it with gusto. You can hear your heart as you slap in. My heart goes out to you. Everybody point out, Elon. In the past, when you pretended that you cared about diversity, when you would post about how Tesla had the number one rating from stuff like the Equal Human Rights Campaign and others for lgbtqia plus all of the Alphabet mafia letters, you would stand there and your little too tight shirt before you got the Zempis. That didn't work. Yeah. Trump called it the Fat shot. We knew we were talking about you. You would do like this. My heart goes out to you. My heart goes out to you. That's how you did it. You made a little sign with your fan. You put both your hands together.

[Mrs. P]

How uwu of you.

[Chris Gethard]

Instead, what'd you do? You stood there and you threw the arm, and. And now here you are. People were start. People weren't starting to forget, but it was just. It was just there. It was one of those things where if. This is how I know as he was getting deeper into the pr, that he. What, He's. He's not listening to his people again.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Chris Gethard]

Because the PR people be like, hey, and just do yourself a favor. Just don't even mention the Nazi. Yeah, don't even mention the Nazi. And he was like, I can't. No, this. This interview's going really well. The Nazi. And then now here we are. Here we are. What do you do? You opened up a whole new path, Elan, for me to talk about how you're a fucking Nazi. And then the end of that clip, you said, I've never hurt anyone. You've killed millions of people. You haven't done it yet. But with your cuts for usaid, with the cuts for doge, with the. With the funding of Donald Trump, with pushing his campaign, with how you've twisted Twitter, with all of the different things that you have been doing. If Elon Musk, if there was. If we had It's a Wonderful Life, you wouldn't be in it, because the angel would have shown the fuck up. And he would have been like, nah, man, jump. Fucking jump off this goddamn bridge. Holy shit. You know how many banks are about to go under because you and your best old fucking boiled golden dome showers are gonna fucking come together and hit us. Eiffel Tower us on both ends. And now you're trying to claim. Actually, I'm not actually doing what I'm doing. Actually. I'm taking a step back. Fuck you.

[Mrs. P]

Also, people have already died.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Because he cut FEMA with Doge.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

Doge cut FEMA. And then 19 people passed away from tornadoes.

[Chris Gethard]

National Weather service is actually 28.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, okay.

[Chris Gethard]

It's 28 now. Because they're cutting overnight coverage.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And so people have died, but the numbers are going to keep going.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And when people start freezing to death because liheap cuts.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

And when people start dying of preventable diseases because the medic. Medicaid cuts.

[Chris Gethard]

Yep.

[Mrs. P]

That's all. And. And he's like, oh, I'm not doing Anything. Well, number one, you already did it. Yeah, you already did it.

[Chris Gethard]

You threw that shit before you walked in the room, motherfucker. Like, that's, that's the thing is. Like that's the thing. And this is the thing about conservatism in general. They do this shit now and then they wait. It's all, all of these. Elon did this very heavily. Is. It's all about when you're already in power, when you're already rich. It's about running out the clock.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Because eventually, you know, eventually, you know, if you run a fucking asbestos mine, eventually, you know those kids will fucking die of mesothelioma if you just wait them out. You know, in the future, if you were, if you're dumping shit into a fucking community, just wait, just wait. Because they, the estate can't keep the lawsuit going. And that's what Elon is doing right now. And it's exactly what he did during the fucking last administration. There were crimes that every. He had clearly done. There were investigations going and he was like, all I have to do is make make sure that this administration doesn't continue. And that's exactly what he did. He spent $44 billion on buying Twitter to change the algorithm, to change the conversations, the way people talk. Now I want you to go back and look at how people fucking talked in 2021. The weird Nazi shit that people are pushing now are solely being pushed because of the normalization on fucking Twitter. And because of the normalization on Twitter, that normalization then spread to Facebook and across meta. And Mark Zuckerberg came out and said, straight up, I'm going to copy what Elon's doing. Because of that, that same shit happened over on YouTube. Because of that, that same shit has spread across the rest of fucking social media. And now we have an even more stratified and broken social media that has spread even deeper. Elon Musk has personally, personally put his thumb on the scale for fucking evil. He is an evil man and he is a terrible fucking person. And he is mad because no one whispered into his ear that number one, he is mortal. And he has never listened to anybody who said that this is a bad idea. Because he believes, just like all these other fuckers in that abundance gospel that he as a rich person, just like Lucky Palmer, just like Mark Zuckerberg and all these other brain broken fucking billionaires believe that because they won at capitalism that that means they're the best at everything the fuck else. And I'm here to tell you, Elon we know from Azealia Banks that you're bad at a lot of fucking shit, okay? Because Azalea Banks, listen, she may be crazy, but when she's. When she's on my side, she's right, and everybody fucking knows it, okay? You're a weird dude who can't stop mailing come to people because supposedly, supposedly you can't actually have intercourse anymore. Allegedly.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know.

[Chris Gethard]

And I'm gonna allege on that one. I will not allege that you were a Nazi, because you are. You're a fascist and you're a bag of shit and you're a racist and you're a transphobe and you've ruined the lives of millions of people and you. And honestly, you ruin my weekend. A lot of the times. Sometimes I'll be doing just fine and I'll be driving with my kid to a playground, and then a cyber truck comes down the opposite side of the highway. My God.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, that green one we saw ruined our whole episode.

[Chris Gethard]

There's a fucking. Yeah, it had a rap. Oh, you know, can I tell you, we got stuck behind a minivan.

[Mrs. P]

I called the number on it and I said, go fuck yourselves.

[Chris Gethard]

We got stuck behind an old minivan the other day that had a Trump sticker on it and another sticker, another one end. It had a Trump 2024 sticker. And then on the other side, it had a bumper sticker that said I heart the Constitution. That I was like, that's insane. That's stupid. But I didn't get mad. And then we drove a little further and then I saw a cybertruck and I was like, you. I just couldn't.

[Mrs. P]

Can I tell you something funny about bumper stickers? Tell me it's not about Elon Musk. So, yeah, when we. We were driving and we saw that it was a beat up.

[Chris Gethard]

It was an old, very old minivan, old minivan.

[Mrs. P]

Clearly not taken well care of. Yeah, and it had like the Trump. And I laughed because it had Trump, but no vice president named under.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, just said Trump 20.

[Mrs. P]

They were like, we don't like any of anybody else. We're big Trump people, but nobody else. And then it said I love the Constitution across the bottom. And I. We were both laughing like, clearly you don't.

[Chris Gethard]

No, you don't.

[Mrs. P]

Clearly you don't.

[Chris Gethard]

He's talking about suspending habeas corpus.

[Mrs. P]

And then I was like, yo, pull up to the side and I'm going to ask him to recite me some amendments. Yeah, like there's no way. Right. But then we were the rest of the drive. We're talking about bumper stickers and the different types of people you see with bumper stickers. And I was thinking of a story that I wanted to wait to tell you. I did. I totally did one of those things where I was like, I'll just wait to tell it on the. The podcast. So. And you might already know this. You might already know this because this happened while we were still living in Philly.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

So in Philadelphia, the city of Philadelphia in Pennsylvania, there is an area called Kensington which is well known to be a place where a lot of people use drugs. It's an open air drug market.

[Chris Gethard]

And it's also where a lot of conservative influencers roll through in cars to make YouTube videos.

[Mrs. P]

They make YouTube videos and point at.

[Chris Gethard]

All the people on fentanyl and look.

[Mrs. P]

Well, yeah, they look at all these people that are struggling with addiction and, you know, are homeless and sex workers. And it's. It's an open air drug market. People are openly using. The police do not stop certain things because there's just. It's overwhelming, I believe.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And also I'm not going to get in that. But. So one of the situations of Kensington is that there are people that live there. There are people that own their homes and rent there and there are children and families that live there.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so they're living with this happening in their streets. And there's one block of Kensington where a lot of sex workers would. Would be hanging out.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

And so cars would pull over to do small business, whatever you want to call it. And the locals got really tired of these cars showing up because they would double park. And I need to tell you something about Philadelphia. We fucking hate a double Parker. We fucking. It's one thing if you're buying drugs, but are you double parking in front of my house?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. You're blocking a one lane road fuck out of here. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So the people are double parking. They're parking overnight and leaving their car. So then people are coming home from work and can't park their car again. Parking, parking.

[Chris Gethard]

In Philadelphia, there's really a show called Parking wars that's about Philadelphia. And in it somehow the edit so good of that show that the PPA somehow is the good guy, which, like, it's insane. Philadelphia Parking Authority meter maids are the good guys in the show, which is anyone who's lived there is like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[Mrs. P]

But we do. We watch it. You're like, no, but she's right on.

[Chris Gethard]

No, on this one, she's right.

[Mrs. P]

This one, she's right. So, like, parking became such a issue.

[Chris Gethard]

With the way that. In Kensington.

[Mrs. P]

In Kensington, with the way that these people that were partaking in small business ownership. I don't know how to describe this, John.

[Chris Gethard]

They're Johns.

[Mrs. P]

The Johns. These johns were pulling up. So what the neighbors did is they made bumper stickers that said, I got a blowjob on Kensington Ave. Basically on it. And so when they would see these cars double parked or in their parking spots, they would slam it. They'd walk up real. Real.

[Chris Gethard]

That.

[Mrs. P]

Slam it. They would lightly just put it on the back of the car while the guy's still in there doing business. And they put it. And so when this guy drives home to fucking Cinnamon's in New Jersey.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

His wife is gonna come out and be like, what the fuck's that bumper sticker say? I got a. I got a blowjob in Kensington.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I got a blowjob on Emerald street.

[Chris Gethard]

Which.

[Mrs. P]

Diamond Street.

[Chris Gethard]

Which. Honestly also for the. It's like, yeah, you need to know that.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Because God knows what he's bringing home with him.

[Mrs. P]

Exactly.

[Chris Gethard]

And it's like, that's so fucking crazy.

[Mrs. P]

But, yeah. So bumper stickers are a way that these neighbors came together to stop a parking issue. Very specifically.

[Chris Gethard]

Wow.

[Mrs. P]

Well, I wanted to tell you that in the car when we were laughing at this I love the Constitution bumper sticker. But I said, no, hold that for the podcast, because it will be like.

[Chris Gethard]

Why do you guys hear that? I hope you listeners hear that. And I hope that if you're. If you are impressed by how Mrs. P. Is saving content.

[Mrs. P]

We're ruining our marriage.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Our marriage is crumbling. So if you want to support Mrs. Pearl Mania.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

In helping to keep the podcast going and maybe our marriage. Who knows?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Please join us over@Pearl Mania500.net and join the $5 team lead level. Or any of the others. Join our Patreon over there. Now let me get back to one last thing about Elon. You thought you were to get out of there.

[Mrs. P]

I thought I was getting.

[Chris Gethard]

You're like, no, we're done with Elon. Yeah, fuck you. No, we're never done. Okay, Elon. And then. And then we'll get to your thing. Elon. So that day, he spent May 20th. The whole day, 24 hours. Media blitz. I'm not doing. I'm not doing politics anymore. I'm not spending money. He's also being sued, by the way. Elon's being sued because do you remember during the presidential election, he went and he did this in Wisconsin where he's like, sign my pledge. Come sign my pledge. And then I will give you $47. And my pledge is that you're going to vote for Donald Trump. And. But. And if you bring in somebody else, I'll give you $100. And, oh, sign this thing. And it was like, it was clearly, people tried suing over. I don't know how the fuck it's. It was considered legal.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Beyond the fact of. Infinite money glitch.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Infinite money glitch for laws where they're like, we can just keep this going.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Just keep the lawsuit.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Again, just running out the clock. Oh, look, we won. I guess now you're not going to bring it up anymore. If we had. If they had lost, he would still.

[Mrs. P]

Be in court, but they lost in 20 years from appeals.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. So in this case, you know, he's being sued over that and all these other different things. And so he was like talking about, I'm not, I'm not going to spend these monies anymore. Because they were talking about, like, in Pennsylvania, there's a Supreme Court races coming up. He's talking about doing that again.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And there's all this different. Well, that's May 20th.

[Mrs. P]

Sure. Today is currently the 22nd.

[Chris Gethard]

Today. We're recording this on the 22nd. On the 21st, yesterday, okay, the president of South Africa came to the White House. Oh, he had a meeting with Donald Trump.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

For trade, but also to talk about this whole. Hey, why do you guys keep saying that we're doing a white genocide.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And he's like, this is fucking crazy. And I want you to know something, okay. That guy Elon Musk, who said that he wasn't involved in government anymore in the fucking room. Oh, he's in the Oval Office. He was standing there silently staring daggers through the president of South Africa.

[Mrs. P]

Well, yeah, he probably hates that guy.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. And Donald Trump gave the entire game away in this moment.

[Mrs. P]

I saw that the president of South Africa was like, sorry to bring you a plane.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. And Trump was like, you should have. Yeah. Because I. Listen, well, the guitar.

[Mrs. P]

We gotta watch another clip.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, it's the last clip. It's the last clip.

[Mrs. P]

Listen, unless I'm reacting, I'm reacting to.

[Chris Gethard]

This clip, but no. Yeah, exactly. We're reactionaries now. Okay. This is Donald Trump sitting next to the president of South Africa.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

In the Oval Office. And again, they're surrounded by press.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. A lot of press.

[Chris Gethard]

Ok, ready I have many friends from South Africa, but many of those friends are. They can't go back. I have. Elon is from South Africa. I don't want to get Elon involved. That's all I have to do. Get him into another thing. But Elon happens to be from South Africa. This is what Elon wanted. He actually came here on a different subject. Sending rockets to Mars.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

He likes that better. He likes that subject better. But Elon is from South Africa, and I don't want to talk to him about. About that. I don't want to. I don't think it's fair to him. That's right. But I.

[Mrs. P]

Great. What? God, he's such a babbling fool.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. But also, Elon wanted this.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Particular. Yeah, this particular meeting. This whole thing with the Africana refugees.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

This whole thing with changing rock to push the white genocide. This whole thing. Elon wanted this. And he's talking about. I have many other friends who are South African. He's talking about Peter Thiel.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

He's talking about others. They had this whole delegation of people from South Africa who are black and white. The president of South Africa is black, but they had another member of the South African government who's a white guy who's like, yeah, there's. There's crime in South Africa. Farm attacks happen, but they happen statistically to black people more. Because there's more black people.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And then another guy who was the richest billionaire in South Africa was there, and he's also like, yeah, this white genocide, like, what you're talking about isn't real.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And then Trump put on a video that. He's like, no, look, here's proof. And he put on a video. It was some weird boomer AI video that they pulled from somewhere and that, like, literally, the president of South Africa is like, I don't know. Where did this come from? What are you talking about? Like, I don't know what you're talking about. And like, it's some weird Facebook compilation because everyone is brainwashed.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God. No, we need to get young people in office.

[Chris Gethard]

Who. Who actually are media literate.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Gethard]

We.

[Mrs. P]

We can't have people phone that fall for AI on Facebook running the government. That's.

[Chris Gethard]

Well, that is who. That is who we have. If they are, you know, who doesn't fall for AI in the government.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, Who?

[Chris Gethard]

The congressman who died of old age.

[Mrs. P]

Oh.

[Chris Gethard]

That's the order.

[Mrs. P]

It's like, hey, listen.

[Chris Gethard]

What?

[Mrs. P]

This is supposed to be an uplifting comedy history podcast.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay? So that means that we need to add in some history. Okay. Maybe some comedy. Okay. How about this? Well, we'll take a break.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

And we come back, you can tell me some history. That's uplifting. Are you ready for that?

[Mrs. P]

I didn't know.

[Chris Gethard]

You didn't know that's what you had to do? Well, when I said I think I want to talk shit on Elon, you should have known that uplift needs to come right behind there, because somehow we covered a lot of this. Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. Yeah, we covered the fifth Elon Mint. There's an app for everything these days, Mrs. P. Yep. You know there's an app now for every fast food company.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, I did know that.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. And you know why there's an app for it? So that way you can actually get the deals. Because fast food has been getting more expensive when you go directly to the store.

[Mrs. P]

Right. The coupons are on the apps.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. You know why the coupons are on the apps?

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Chris Gethard]

Because that way they can collect your data and then they can sell it as a secondary revenue stream.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Gethard]

Which means that data brokers are getting even more access to everyone's. Everyone's information that they can then put together and sell to anyone for a low, low price all across the Internet. Which is why we are partnered with Deleteme to protect more of our listeners. You can use a promo code, joinedeleteme.com perlmania20 and you can get 20% off a subscription with Delete Me. Delete Me is a service that helps you go through and delete your information from data brokers across the Internet. Protect yourself, your family, your address, your phone number, and even more. Go to joindeleteme.com Pearlmania 20 Save 20% today. Mrs. P. Something happened recently.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

That you've been excited about.

[Mrs. P]

I. Okay, so what happened was I went away for the weekend with my family.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And when my family and I are together, it's like a room full of Cliff Clavins.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

We're just trying to randomly spout knowledge at each other to see who has the most interesting fact.

[Chris Gethard]

Real quick.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

You say. You keep saying yelling Cliff Clavin, and it's a crazy thing that you've been yelling because, number one, I never watched Cheers like that. It's the postman from Cheers.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, he's the. He's the mailman from Cheers.

[Chris Gethard]

The mailman from Cheers who sat next to Norm.

[Mrs. P]

Yes. Who recently passed away.

[Chris Gethard]

He just died.

[Mrs. P]

Sorry, I said passed away.

[Chris Gethard]

No. Died. No. Why?

[Mrs. P]

Come on. Why died is for, like, senators that you don't like.

[Chris Gethard]

Congressman.

[Mrs. P]

Congressman.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Passed away. Is for beloved actors from hit TV shows like Cheers.

[Chris Gethard]

He was also in Santa Pause. You didn't know that? Norm from Cheers. He played a Norm from Cheers. Played a depressed Santa Claus in the movie Santa Pause, which is part of the Airbuds universe.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Because inside the Airbuds universe, the Air Buddies need. Because that's air buds, children.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

His pops.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Are known as the Air Buddies, and they are best friends and they have to believe in a Santa Claus. So Santa Pause is Santa Claus for dogs.

[Mrs. P]

I can't even say why you know this.

[Chris Gethard]

I know it's your fault.

[Mrs. P]

So anyway, Cliff Clavin was the mailman, and basically every time they would shoot the. The show, they're sitting at the bar, they're talking about stuff. And Cliff Clavin would be like, well, you know that. The volcanoes in Hawaii. But it was just like he would have a random piece of knowledge.

[Chris Gethard]

However, I wouldn't push back a little bit. He was always wrong. That was. That was the joke is that he. He had all these different things because he would learn it from stuff like Reader's Digest.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

He didn't listen to incredible podcasts, like too many tabs.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Where he get into deep dive issues and topics and learn interesting facts that he could then share with his friends, family, and co workers.

[Mrs. P]

Well, the reason it's still kind of the good term is because I don't know if you ever met family, but many family get their. Their knowledge from a random Facebook post they saw or a thing they saw on the side of a bus stop. I don't know.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So you always have to fact check these things that people tell you.

[Chris Gethard]

And the best way to fact check them is by joining [e-mail] I'm gonna get the promo in.

[Mrs. P]

I bet you are.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

So anyway, I was telling my brother about Milquerius. Yes. Because we. I don't even know how we got on the topic, but I was like, oh, you would love Milquerius. And he said, I'm sorry, what did you just say to me? And then I elaborated that I had done a podcast research episode about the. The many caves of cheese that live in America because of the dairy industry. And that during my research, I ended up finding out about Milquarius. And it's one of our wonderful episodes. Go back and find it if you haven't listened to it. It's a cheesecake episode, the cheese cave episode. And my Brother was like, I don't believe you. And I said, let me show you a video. And then what? Making someone watch that video is such a fun experience.

[Chris Gethard]

You made him watch the milk? Aquarius Rock opera. Rock opera was paid for by the Dairy Farmers association of America to try.

[Mrs. P]

To get kids to drink more milk.

[Chris Gethard]

Try to get kids to drink more milk in the early 2000s.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so he thought that was so funny. And then he decided, I believe. I don't know if any of his friends listen to this podcast. I don't think they do.

[Chris Gethard]

I don't think so.

[Mrs. P]

But everyone on his D and D campaign. He's writing a D and D campaign in which at some point, all the people travelers are going to end up at a movie theater and they have to watch a movie to get clues about their next move. And it's going to be the Milquerius rock opera as a way to force his friends to sit through it.

[Chris Gethard]

Speaking of. Speaking of bad movies, real quick, shout out to the God Awful Movies podcast. We were just on there as guests.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Where we had to watch a bad.

[Mrs. P]

Movie, but except for the part we're watching the movie.

[Chris Gethard]

No, the movie was terrible, but the guys were great. We had a really great time on the podcast. We watched a movie called Acquitted by Faith with Casper Van Dean. It was a terrible milk. Aquarius is a better movie. Also shorter. Also has an actual plot, unlike Acquitted by Faith. So.

[Mrs. P]

So, okay, so anyway, after we got done talking about Milquerius, my brother. I don't know how. The thing is, I don't know how this conversation go. Just like our podcast. It's like we're all just kind of talking and things are coming up and going.

[Chris Gethard]

Well, that's how natural conversations work. You're enjoying yourselves. One person jumps in the other person, and then a husband steps in and tries to recontextualize everything because he hasn't heard his own voice.

[Mrs. P]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

That's what we were missing.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

We're missing up there in the Poconos is that there is a town. He told me there's a town in Canada called Asbestos because it has the most asbestos.

[Chris Gethard]

Wait, there's a. Okay, there's a town in Canada called Asbestos. Is it. What is it Asbestos, Canada?

[Mrs. P]

It's Asbestos, Quebec.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay, so it's French Canadian on top of that.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

So there's a French town in Canada.

[Mrs. P]

So my. My brother says, oh, yeah, there's a town in Canada that's full of asbestos. And guess what? They named it Asbestos. And I Said, I don't believe you.

[Chris Gethard]

That would be like if Philadelphia was just called Gray Sweatpants. Welcome to Gray Sweatpants, Pennsylvania.

[Mrs. P]

Yep. That facts. Okay. So then, of course, I. As soon as I got. Got home, I was like, that's such an interesting thing. I need to research it. And I did. And I. It was like a very classic too many tab situation.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Where suddenly I had many tabs open on my laptop, and I was like, where? How? Huh. And so I felt I needed to tell you all about asbestos Quebec.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. I can. Let's call it. Okay. Let's call it Asbestos Canada.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Because to me, that's even funny.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

It's a funnier way of laying.

[Mrs. P]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

But tell me all about this town.

[Mrs. P]

Well, first, I want to tell you for clarity sake, a little bit about asbestos.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. I am. Can I tell you what I know about asbestos?

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Mesothelioma.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. That's.

[Chris Gethard]

That's all I know, because when I was younger and I'd be home watching the daytime tv, you know, you'd be watching the Price is Right, or you'd be watching some of the local, like, lower channels that, like, sucked and have, like, an old rerun on or Judge Judy, there would always be a thing that would pop up, and they'd be like, did you get mesothelioma from asbestos? You can join our class action lawsuit. It was that and vaginal mesh.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

Those were the two that I always remember being. I remember one day being like, what is mesothelioma? And then I looked it up and. And found out that you can get it from asbestos because, like, asbestos does, like, a little tickle in your lungs that turns into this form of cancer.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

And then I was like, what is vaginal mess? And I. I just closed the laptop.

[Mrs. P]

No, too many.

[Chris Gethard]

I was like, I don't want to know. I got. I got to a certain point. I went, nope, and back the fuck. I backed out of the room. It was. You know what? It was the Simpsons meme again. It was when grandpa walks into the bordello, sees, like, puts his hat down, sees Bart, turns back around, grabs his hat, and whistles on his way out the door. That's exactly what I did when it came to vaginal mesh.

[Mrs. P]

So the way that asbestos is formed. Okay, I'm gonna just. I'm gonna take it all the way back.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Asbestos is formed through volcanic activity.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh.

[Mrs. P]

It's concentrated in veins, so it kind of looks like blue ch. Like the veins go through the rock.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. Basically, when there's volcanic activity. It cools in a specific way, and these veins are formed, and that is asbestos. Got it. It's mined in the same way as iron, lead, and copper are. However, when it's crushed. I'm sorry. When iron and lead are crushed, they turn to dust. But when asbestos is crushed, it turns into small fibers that are too small to be seen by the human eye. In this form, asbestos presents a huge health risk for humans called chrysotile. Chrysotile. Right. These. Chrysotile. These tiny particles can easily become airborne and inhaled, leading to a large variety of respiratory illnesses.

[Chris Gethard]

Like mesothelioma.

[Mrs. P]

Exactly. It's number one. One.

[Chris Gethard]

It's number one.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. The mesothelioma and cancer and all those things are number one thing.

[Chris Gethard]

All right, that might be the comment at the end of the episode. Mesothelioma is number one. I just want to see people try to spell it.

[Mrs. P]

That's the trick.

[Chris Gethard]

I just. Just you guys, for the listeners who don't know if you've never made it to the very end of an episode, if you bail it out early, you won't know that. We tell people secret comments.

[Mrs. P]

Secret comments. So if you ever look at the comments section, you're like, why do people keep saying that?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Why does everyone just keep writing red velvet cupcake on the last episode? It's because of me. Because we said, grok, is this true?

[Mrs. P]

Grok, is this true? So asbestos Canada is the. Well, it was the home of the world's largest asbestos mine called the Jeffrey mine. It has a name, the Jeffrey mine.

[Chris Gethard]

And the thing about asbestos is asbestos was used as a fire retardant. It was, like, made to be put in a lot of buildings and stuff like that. We're like, hey, we want. We don't want these buildings to burn down.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

So they would line walls with asbestos ceilings, all that different stuff. A lot of schools.

[Mrs. P]

A lot of schools.

[Chris Gethard]

A ton of schools filled with asbestos. It was a huge thing. And so when you have older buildings, especially stuff that was built in the 30s through the 70s, I think when they were tearing down or renovating parts of them, they had to shut it down, bringing hazmat teams in special, like, breathers.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

To remove this stuff because it was so popular. It was used in everything. It was used in everything because tiles could be asbestos.

[Mrs. P]

And, like, asbestos has been used since ancient times. Times the Romans used.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, really?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, because. Oh, I don't know if I put this in my research, but again, this was part of it. I was like, wait, what? It's like. They called it like a fire stone because you can put a pot made of asbestos, like, in a fire and it won't catch fire. Oh, so it was a good way to cook things, but again, they didn't know.

[Chris Gethard]

Well, they also listen. They also use lead in their pipes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, they were big in the. Hey, Danger Minerals.

[Chris Gethard]

You know what? That was one of those empires. We're like, we're just going to try a little bit of everything, and then later we're like, wow. Wow. Well, we should base all of our racists on this.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Just every fascist should have a guy who eats from asbestos pots and drinks.

[Mrs. P]

Lead water, swims in dirty water with his family.

[Chris Gethard]

No, the water was clean.

[Mrs. P]

Well, no, I was talking about RFK swimming in that dirty water.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's. Well, okay, there's Maha fascists. They're different than the ones I'm talking about.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, I see.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm talking about the people who love. Love to use a white marble statue and then yell. Be like, oh, look.

[Mrs. P]

Look what they've taken from us.

[Chris Gethard]

The wokes made brutalist architecture. No, that's capitalism, buddy.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. All right. So the Jeffrey mine was open until 2012.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, what, 13 years ago?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, wow.

[Mrs. P]

That's when it finally.

[Chris Gethard]

Like, this is Specialist Mind.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. It was officially closed in 2012.

[Chris Gethard]

When did it open?

[Mrs. P]

I don't know if I have that in front of me.

[Chris Gethard]

Was it like in the 19 something?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, in the 19 something.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. Also, doesn't that make everybody feel old just real fast? Back in the 1900s, it was open. That could mean anywhere from 1901 to 1998.

[Mrs. P]

I was thinking 97.

[Chris Gethard]

97. Nice.

[Mrs. P]

Open your laptop real quick. Okay, so I put a picture in our Google Doc, okay. Of this. This mine was actually a tourist attraction.

[Chris Gethard]

Shut up.

[Mrs. P]

People used to go visit. Okay. This was like a big deal. So they would go to this asbestos mine.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, it's like a strip mine.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

It's not a hole in the ground. It's just that. So. So, okay, so it's a big pit. It's a giant pit. And then they. It's like layers. It almost looks like. Like a. Like a terrace garden.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

That's crazy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And it's filled with water.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Because of the rain. Because it's a hole.

[Mrs. P]

And because it's all.

[Chris Gethard]

It's a big old hole, but yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So people would travel to go to see this Jeffrey mine with the most asbestos. And again, they're breathing that air.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. And it's just up and they're walking around and it's kicking up.

[Mrs. P]

Yes, exactly.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, my God.

[Mrs. P]

And they're actively mining it. So it's in the air.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, my God.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, so the Jeffrey mine provided half of the world's supply of asbestos at one point and made Canada the world's largest asbestos exporter. By the 1970s, the industry delivered shipments valued at over $230 million Canadian, which I adjusted for inflation, which is $1.35 billion Canadian.

[Chris Gethard]

$1.35 billion Canadian. That's incredible.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, that's how much asbestos they were selling.

[Chris Gethard]

That's so wild.

[Mrs. P]

When the truth came out about the dangers of asbestos becoming very like, it became very real about the dangers.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

The mine closed and the whole town shut down. Because obviously everything in the town was.

[Chris Gethard]

Built around this mine and made of it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Gethard]

I mean, I would be surprised that everybody live in an asbestos house.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Chris Gethard]

It's asbestos. Oh, it's the best thing that could ever happen.

[Mrs. P]

It's super cheap right here.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

As much as you want.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. It's all millennial gray, though. It's all millennial gray. And every. Every outlet has been landlord painted.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

The link between asbestos and health problems started being recognized with the first documented case of asbestos related disease in 1924. Okay. It was in the 1930s that researchers began to definitively link asbestos to cancer. By the 1950s, the link between asbestos exposure and serious respiratory diseases, including cancer, was firmly established. So they KNEW in the 20s, by the 60s, they were like, yeah, this could be a problem. This could be a problem.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But here's what happened. I found out that they actually knew way before that that really. But because no one listens to women except for the listeners of this podcast who listen to me. So the first person to raise alarm bells about asbestos was a woman in England named Lucy Dean Streetfield. She was a nurse, a social worker, a union organizer, a suffragette, and one of the first women appointed justice of the peace and a licensed factory inspector. So this woman was busy and she was about that life.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. In 1818. 98.

[Chris Gethard]

1898.

[Mrs. P]

In 1898, during her appointment as an inspector, Dean was one of the first people in the UK to warn of the harmful effects of asbestos, writing that asbestos occupations were to be observed. Observed, quote, on account of their easily demonstrated danger to the health of workers, and because of ascertained cases of injury to bronchial tubes and lungs medically attributed to the employment of the sufferer, the evil effects of asbestos dust have also instigated. A microscopic examination of the mineral dust by the medical inspector clearly revealed that there was sharp glass, like jagged natures of the particles and where they are allowed to rise and to remain suspended in the air of the room in any quantity. The effects have been found to be injurious, as might have been expected.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Because the. So what she's saying is she's like, the air is full of invisible glass. And everyone's like, shut up, lady.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And so that was in 1898. And again, nobody said that this was firm link until 1960.

[Chris Gethard]

And I want to point out 1898, Canada was still like. It was a British. It still is part of the British dominion.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

But it is. Was a British colony, like, openly was a British colony and completely under British control.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And so this is around. Incredible. Incredible.

[Mrs. P]

Incredible. Woman not listen to.

[Chris Gethard]

But also this. I'm gonna push back a little bit because this is one of those things much like, you know, I love to give the RFK people.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And the Maha people. But it's much like that where it's like somebody comes forward, they have experience with this, and then an industry, I'm sure, comes where we go. Nah.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, Nah.

[Chris Gethard]

We don't have enough proof. Yeah. I need some more studies on this. I mean, come on. Yeah, okay. Sure. A lot of our football players commit suicide because they got too many hits. That doesn't mean that there's a medical problem.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. It doesn't mean that there's any association between two things.

[Chris Gethard]

But also it's. It's one of those things where I. 1898, we're in the realm of people getting more used to the idea of stuff that's so small we can't see.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

You know, whether germs or bacteria, microscopes, all these different things is one thing. The idea of particles being suspended in the air, that's a little bit different. The fact that it's like microscopic glass.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Is crazy. But what I'm thinking of immediately makes me think about the fact that there was recently here in America, actually, I think here in like, our region, There was some people who got injured. They were working at a countertop factory, and it's like a special silica countertop that has become very common.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

When you cut it, which you have to. You have to cut it for these custom countertops, it sprays into the air. And that is very similar to asbestos. And so you had all these people, many of which were immigrants who moved the United States, who got the jobs in this factory had lung injuries.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Due to the fact that they were unmasked or they weren't, that the air wasn't regulated as well. And when they're using these saws to cut it, these power saws, it's just spraying micro dust everywhere. And again, they're sucking it in, you know, but which is again, the anti maskers who would then mix in with the RFK people. Well, no masks, though. No masks, but I mean, yeah, that's just crazy. Crazy.

[Mrs. P]

It's insane.

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[Chris Gethard]

Hi, I'm Chris Gethard and I'm very excited to tell you about Beautiful Anonymous, a podcast where I talk to random people on the phone. I tweet out a phone number. Thousands of people try to call you talk to one of them. They stay anonymous. I can't hang up. That's all the rules. I never know what's gonna happen. We get serious ones. I've talked with meth dealers on their way to prison. I've talked to people who survived mass shootings. Crazy funny ones. I talked to a guy with a goose, somebody who dresses up as a pirate on the weekends. I never know what's going to happen. It's a great show. Subscribe today. Beautiful Anonymous.

[Mrs. P]

So the mayor of Asbestos Canada started talking about changing the name of the town in 2012, and he got a.

[Chris Gethard]

Lot of pushback when they. When they got rid of the mine.

[Mrs. P]

Well, the Jeffrey mine is still there.

[Chris Gethard]

No, I'm saying, but they closed it. I'm saying, but they're okay. It's one of those things where they're like, hey, we still have a hole. Yeah, we're just talking about how it's a hole now. Yeah, we're putting out. You want to come see our big hole? We're not like, you want to see where all the asbestos is from.

[Mrs. P]

So the mayor starts flowing this idea, changing the name because he's thinking about it in A marketing way about, like, getting visitors to come back. How do they revitalize the town?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And one of the issues they were having is, like, people would see, like, trucks that said, like, asbestos Canada on it and be like, hey, whoa.

[Chris Gethard]

Like, well, yeah, Every time you turn on the tv, it's like, mesothelioma.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Caused by asbestos. Every time they see somebody touching asbestos, they're dressed like the outbreak movie.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

Why would. I'm not gonna go on vacation there.

[Mrs. P]

So he's. He's like, we're getting a lot of bad press, Right. But the thing is, the people of the town, the residents.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Don't give a shit. Like, they. They don't care about the bad press because internally, they don't call it asbestos. It's Quebec. So they speak French, and the French word for asbestos is amient, so they call it amient Quebec. And they say, oh, the amiant mind. And so they don't associate asbestos with the deadly mining leftovers.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

They're like, oh, that's amiat. That's the problem. Not asbestos. So, like, there's this thing where the locals are like, no, no, it's fine. We got to keep our name. That's our name. They don't see the bad press because when they're having a conversation about, oh, his lungs got hurt by the amnion, not his lungs got hurt by asbestos.

[Chris Gethard]

God.

[Mrs. P]

You know what I mean?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Because the one guy's like, no, no, it's concussions that are causing the CTE and the other guys. No, no, it's when your bell gets rung.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

That's what they're. That's the argument. No, his bell got rung too many times. Yeah. Concussions.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

No, no, his bell got wrong. Took a bad hit.

[Mrs. P]

So anyway, eventually, the guy. The. The townspeople, the people that live there, the residents, they do have a vote.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

On October 19, 2020, 51.5% of voters chose the name Val Desources, which translates to Valley of the Springs, in the third round of a preferential ballot.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay, so they had ranked choice.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, they had ranked choice.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Three rounds and 51%, which, by the way, that was pretty tight. Some residents remained opposed to the name change, Actually organized a petition to deny its approval on the grounds that not enough of the town's residents participated in the referendum. And which is funny, because the town's population is 7,096 people. And so if, like, a bunch of people out of 7,000 didn't vote, then, like, they kind of have a Point.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But also it's. If your number is at 7,096, like, get the vote turnout.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, I'm thinking about the fact that here's. Here's why I don't think it should have been changed.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Because now, over the next few decades, people like, oh, we're gonna go to the Valley of the Springs for our holiday.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And be like, oh, where all the asbestos is.

[Mrs. P]

Well, it's not in the air anymore.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. Well, I mean, you can tell me that all you want.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, you want to know some crazy fact?

[Chris Gethard]

What?

[Mrs. P]

When I was researching it. So after they closed the mine, obviously there was this. They tried to revitalize the town, and they succeeded in a lot of ways.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

People needed jobs.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And one company was a fucking microbrewery. There's always a goddamn microbrewery when you're trying to rebuild up something.

[Chris Gethard]

Of course. And let me guess, let me guess. Downtown, it's a microbrewery. There's an axe throwing place. And they're next to each other.

[Mrs. P]

Probably next to each other.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But so this brewery opens and they do all of their IPAs themed around the town's mining history. And so they're like. They all have these French names for mining and stuff. And, like, the cans have miners on them. And so they're leaning into the fact that this is a mining town. Blue collar work. These are our beers. We make these French. I believe they're IPAs. I'm not even kidding. And one of the beers, though, I thought this was crazy. They got the water from the mines because they paid to have testing done, and the water in the mine is completely safe to drink. They got all this testing done, and we're like, no, the water's fine.

[Chris Gethard]

Still not gonna do it.

[Mrs. P]

And they.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm still not gonna do it.

[Mrs. P]

They made beer out of this wine or not this water, and they sold it as, like a very specific Valley of the Springs water.

[Chris Gethard]

I don't give a. I'm gonna tell you this right now. I'm looking at them.

[Mrs. P]

I don't give a. I know, but it was such a crazy marketing tactic.

[Chris Gethard]

I don't. I. It's so. I'm. I'm actually. I'm legit mad. I. Because I just think. I think it's one of those ones where, yes, asbestos has. Has had its uses and things like that in the past, but once we knew about it, we knew about all the dangers of it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

It would be. I don't know, it just feels like asbestos. Feels like cigarettes in that way.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Where It's a thing that we knew. We knew early on it caused cancer.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

It was hidden from the public.

[Mrs. P]

Y.

[Chris Gethard]

They fought against all of the research saying that this clearly does these things because it was a money maker. It's an industry. Everyone was like, oh, don't worry about the cancer. What about the jobs? It was, like, the number one way it stuck around an extra long period of time. It's delicious. And, you know. Come on.

[Mrs. P]

You want to take a minute for cigarettes? Take a minute.

[Chris Gethard]

I miss my boys. I'm gonna tell you something. Let me tell you something, Mrs. P. Yeah, I miss my boys.

[Mrs. P]

I know you do.

[Chris Gethard]

I've been.

[Mrs. P]

You made it out of Italy without a cigarette.

[Chris Gethard]

I was so hard. Italy was the hardest that's ever been. Like, in all of the. In the last. Coming up on two years, actually. We're actually really close to two years of me not smoking. Crazy. That has been the hardest, was when I was in Italy, because the second you would be outdoors, like, I want to say, it felt like it was the. The late 80s. How many people lit up?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

It was just, like, every time. And it would be, like, all age groups, babies, and then just so many. Everybody. Everybody. Anyone younger, they were vaping.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

You could see them ripping their vape. They pull out these weird color boxes.

[Mrs. P]

I saw a video of, like, people doing it in their nose. Now what? They do the vape in their nose.

[Chris Gethard]

They vape the nose.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know. I don't know why people are doing anything.

[Chris Gethard]

I. I just. I miss. I miss my boys. I'm gonna just say it. I know. Let me talk about my. Don't I just. Listen.

[Mrs. P]

I don't want you to sit here and reminisce about cigarettes. I'm not reminiscing about your best friend.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm filling content hours. That's what I'm doing here. All right. The listeners, they're passing the time right now. Right. They're driving.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Maybe they're at a cubicle. Maybe they're folding laundry. Maybe they get in the comments and tell us what they're doing as a second screen. It's because I know y' all. Second screen. Thank you so much. But what I'm saying is, I. Sometimes I sit around. The thing is, is, like, I remember the last bunch of times at the end when I quit smoking. I remember how it felt. I remember how, like, my lungs felt dirty. I remember those feelings about, like, the day after. I remember Having the cravings and going. I don't want to go through that again. Yeah. However, I miss my boys. I just. You know what it is? It's like hanging out with a bad group of friends.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

It's your bad group of friends, but you have some good memories.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And, like, the good memories I had are, like, sitting on the porch or, like, being outside. It's crazy inside at work, but I finally get to step out.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

You know what I mean?

[Mrs. P]

Just poop.

[Chris Gethard]

Listen, do I miss the boys there?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Me and the boys take a big old rip. Be like, ah, guys, I'll be right back. I'm gonna get through half of one of you.

[Mrs. P]

Wow.

[Chris Gethard]

And then I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna relight you up. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

That waste not. What? Nothing.

[Chris Gethard]

But. Yeah. Two years now. But I. This is so. This asbestos stuff is so funny because also my entire life, because it's been, like, since the 90s, they really had a big push on, like, asbestos bad.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

If you're near someplace with asbestos, call a specific group to come in and then, like, how they dispose the asbestos. But you know what's crazy is actually, I did not know it came from a volcano.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

I had no idea. I always assumed that the duponts did something. Can I tell you? Like, I. I always thought I was like, no, this had to have been made in a lab.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Because asbestos feels like something and even sounds like something. It sounds asbestos by AstraZeneca. You know what I mean? Like, the name is kind of shitty.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

It has, like, that little bit to it. The uses of. It feels industrial. And again, because also because it was in all of this stuff that was built in the 30s through the 70s, that's a specific time period where we just, like, didn't know or we didn't care to look.

[Mrs. P]

I think it's both of those.

[Chris Gethard]

A little bit more of those. So there was all these buildings that were old around me growing up that would be getting torn down. They'd be like, it's asbestos, or it's this thing. Or like, that whole stream has been poisoned because of this factory. And. And we didn't know.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm like, okay, yeah, sure.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. The codex didn't know. Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Gethard]

Exactly.

[Mrs. P]

So the question that came to me after I did all this research was, well, where's the biggest mine now?

[Chris Gethard]

Oh.

[Mrs. P]

Because I kept reading it, and it was like, it used to be the biggest mine. And I was like, so then that inherently means there's a bigger mind. And of course, There is.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is.

[Mrs. P]

Guess where it is.

[Chris Gethard]

Utah.

[Mrs. P]

Nope. It's in Russia. And guess what the name of the town is. As Best.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Mrs. P]

As best Russia.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So the chrysotile again, that's the stuff in the air mine has. They've done studies in the town and been like, hey, there's peer reviewed scientific evidence that the. Which Christ. In asbest Russia.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

They've had scientists come out and do studies and they're like, hey, this is places pretty detrimental to your health and the health of the local population. And they were just like, no. Yeah, it's a. Putin says no in as best Russia. There's an open pit mine that is said to be. Because again, we're looking at satellite image for most part words said to be 7 miles long and 1.5 miles wide. So it's half the size of Manhattan. It's as it's half of Manhattan. That's how big the mine is.

[Chris Gethard]

Wow.

[Mrs. P]

And it's more than a thousand feet deep.

[Chris Gethard]

And it's just asbestos.

[Mrs. P]

It's just asbestos.

[Chris Gethard]

And just spraying it into the air.

[Mrs. P]

Huh.

[Chris Gethard]

As they're digging.

[Mrs. P]

And also the town is like a full town. Like there's like a concert hall, there's stadiums, like.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh yeah. Well, I'm sure it's a Soviet style.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, it's a Soviet style.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. So they built. They built up the entire thing. They were like, here's all the different stuff that you could have. And because they're like, we need the asbestos because we have to win the Cold War.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And we need it. And also because, you know, it's cold here. So people have a lot more fires.

[Mrs. P]

For years, inmates who were imprisoned at the now I am gonna butcher this Baz Haranskov Gulag were forced to work in the asbestos industry. Over 15, 000 people died due to asbestos related diseases and lack of clean water in the gulag that were forced to work in the mine.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, well, I mean it's. That's a gulag.

[Mrs. P]

It's a gulag.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

It's part of gulagging.

[Chris Gethard]

That's where Stalin and. And others would send dissidents.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Or just anyone they just didn't like. And they'd be like, you're gonna go to gulag and you're gonna do hard labor. We don't expect you to come if you come back. Shocking.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. They still have some of those. They have the. They have them in Russia because that's where they sent Navalny and Kermit the Frog. Yes. In The Muppet Movie and the Muppets Most Wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I forgot. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

They said Danny Trejo.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, Danny Trejo is there. And Tina Fey plays the plays the commissar. Wow. I love that. They're like, no, no, the mine's fine. Who used to do this? Gulag. Gulag prisoners.

[Mrs. P]

Gulag prisoners. And then the last. Oh, the last piece of information that I got from this that I thought was so crazy. So crazy. So when you're. Let's say we're in our car and we're driving. We're. We're driving up to as best Russia. We're gonna go to the town.

[Chris Gethard]

We're not going. We're.

[Mrs. P]

I'm just saying, like, theoretically, I'm not. We're in the car.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm not in my mind palace.

[Mrs. P]

Get. I'm in your mind palace right now. And I'm saying you're in the car.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm evicted. You're evicted. I'm glad.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know how we got here.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm locking the gates. You're not allowed in my mind palace.

[Mrs. P]

And we get to the. To the gates of the town because there are gates on the town in Soviet Russia style stuff. And there's a big sign that welcomes you to the town and it says aspest Russia. Right? And that's the big sign. And then sometimes towns have like little sayings, right? They Sometimes towns have little slogan. Ours, if you. When you pull into Philadelphia, it'll say, welcome to Philadelphia, City of brotherly love.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

As best Russia. Their slogan says, asbest is my town and destiny.

[Chris Gethard]

Jesus Christ.

[Mrs. P]

I was like, what?

[Chris Gethard]

Welcome to asbest. The beginning and end of your life.

[Mrs. P]

That's literally what their slogan is.

[Chris Gethard]

My God.

[Mrs. P]

But yeah, so this is what happened. I told my brother about Maquarius and then I spent three days researching asbestos for some reason. But now I'm here.

[Chris Gethard]

Mesothelioma. That's so crazy. I. You actually taught me a lot on this one.

[Mrs. P]

Thanks.

[Chris Gethard]

I had no idea that asbestos was a natural forming thing. What's the other thing that is like that. There's that one poison. Arsenic. No, what's the one? What's the one that they put in that they would used to put in the letters, you know, I'm talking about.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, like the ones I used to mail.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, those guys were mailing all the time. Starts with an A, doesn't it? It arsenic. I knew. But what was the one? Anthrax.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. There's certain things like that. Where Like, I don't realize that they're naturally occurring now. They can refine them. They can definitely get refined to be made stronger. And I think that's what we did, especially once we got the industrialization of the 40s and 50s and 60s and stuff like that. We're like, oh, we figured out how to make this naturally occurring. Bad things ten times worse, A hundred times worse. Yeah, but like, there's certain things where, when I was younger, I just didn't. I just didn't think they naturally occurred. Anthrax, asbestos. Apparently, it's all the bad A things.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

Alex Perlman. They're all natural.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, smart guy, now you have to close the podcast. How are you gonna marry Elon Musk and asbestos together?

[Chris Gethard]

How am I gonna put them together? Yeah, they're both terrible for you. And if you have been hurt by either, then you should join a class action lawsuit.

[Mrs. P]

Or our Patreon.

[Chris Gethard]

Or our [e-mail] that's right. That's my Ferengi over there. You know how to do a promo?

[Mrs. P]

It doesn't cost that much latinum to support this podcast.

[Chris Gethard]

It does not.

[Mrs. P]

And there's a lot of content on there that is exclusive.

[Chris Gethard]

Why don't you tell some people about some of that content?

[Mrs. P]

Okay, so number one, we do what's called the warm up, where before we record this podcast, we spend like 30 minutes getting used to talking to each other again. And so we have really funny, silly conversations there. It's very. We call it the parasocial one. Right. You have a funny name for it.

[Chris Gethard]

It's the Patreon exclusive Parasocial Pearl Maniac podcast.

[Mrs. P]

How did I not remember that? I also. We do vibing with the food Idiot.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

Where I teach you how to cook basic meals. Sometimes like mashed potatoes or roast chicken or chocolate chip cookies, things like that that maybe you should know, but you don't know. And so I. We have a very silly podcast where I teach you how to cook stuff.

[Chris Gethard]

But also the last part that you're forgetting about completely.

[Mrs. P]

What's that?

[Chris Gethard]

Which is that the show you get ad free versions of?

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah, the ads. There's no ads.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, the ad free audio version of the show that you can listen to and join the greatest comment section of them. The comment section goes Patreon Pearl Mania comment section. But yeah, that's all. It's all available for you up there and we hope you join us. But if you can't make it, that's also fine.

[Mrs. P]

That's fine.

[Chris Gethard]

Keep checking out all of our shows. You can find us like subscribe Comment. What's the comment gonna be?

[Mrs. P]

Avoid the mines.

[Chris Gethard]

Avoid the mines. Avoid the mines, everybody. We'll catch you next week with a whole new episode of Too Many tabs, Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs.

[Mrs. P]

Open it.

[Chris Gethard]

Too many tabs. Remember, remember to smile.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Chris Gethard]

Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn Ads, go to libsynads. Com. That's Libsyn Ads. Com Today.