"FREE SPEECH" Warriors Surrender to Trump | TMT #121

Summary

Podcast Summary: "FREE SPEECH" Warriors Surrender to Trump | TMT #121

Podcast Information:

• Title: Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500
• Host/Author: Pearlmania500 (featuring Alex and Mrs. P)
• Episode: "FREE SPEECH" Warriors Surrender to Trump | TMT #121
• Release Date: March 30, 2025

---

1. Home Decor and Aesthetics

Discussion: The episode kicks off with Alex and Mrs. P reminiscing about previous podcast episodes where they humorously claimed to have become "crazy sexy cool." They delve into a light-hearted yet critical conversation about unconventional bathroom fixtures, particularly black toilets and sinks.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex [00:20]: "I'm just saying, if I walk into a place and they have a black toilet... you're not Italian."
• Mrs. P [00:47]: "A black toilet makes me so nervous because I'm like, you're not cleaning it enough."

Insights: They express discomfort with the trend of dark-colored bathroom fixtures, associating them with poor maintenance and limited aesthetic appeal. The conversation extends to a broader critique of standardized design choices in contemporary products, emphasizing a longing for more personalized and varied options.

---

2. Social Media Algorithms and the Pipeline Effect

Discussion: Alex and Mrs. P explore the concept of being "pipelined" by social media algorithms, where their online activities inadvertently lead them down specific content paths. This segment highlights their frustration with how algorithms can limit exposure to diverse content, pushing listeners towards particular ideologies or content types.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex [04:24]: "Companies are trying to make sure they maximize profit by limiting options and pushing certain narratives."
• Mrs. P [05:03]: "Most companies don't make a bright yellow toilet... The personalization we're allowed to do is decals and magnets."

Insights: The hosts discuss the monopolistic tendencies of major companies to homogenize product offerings, thereby restricting consumer choice. They lament the loss of eclectic and vibrant options in the market, attributing it to profit-driven strategies that prioritize mass appeal over individuality.

---

3. Free Speech and Political Censorship

Discussion: A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the erosion of free speech, particularly concerning political dissent. Alex passionately criticizes public figures and media personalities, accusing them of undermining free speech and contributing to a culture of censorship.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex [12:10]: "George Soros is out there buying elections. We need to stop him."
• Alex [16:00]: "People are being disappeared by our federal government... Speaking is a privilege."

Insights: The conversation intensifies as Alex vents frustrations about perceived governmental overreach and the suppression of dissenting voices. They reference incidents where protesters have faced severe repercussions, framing it as a broader attack on democratic principles and individual liberties.

---

4. Gaming and Cultural Influence

Discussion: The hosts transition into discussing the impact of video games and streaming culture on society. Mrs. P shares her experiences with gaming, highlighting how watching others play can lead to greater engagement but also inadvertently "pipeline" players into specific gaming communities or ideologies.

Notable Quotes:

• Mrs. P [00:53]: "I tried watching someone play a video game, and suddenly I got pipelined."
• Alex [40:38]: "Griefing is intentional bullying within games, which alters how people interact online."

Insights: They analyze the dual-edged nature of gaming as both entertaining and potentially divisive. The phenomenon of "griefing" is discussed as a form of online harassment that can foster toxic environments, reflecting broader societal issues within virtual spaces.

---

5. Personal Anecdotes and Relationships

Discussion: Throughout the episode, Alex and Mrs. P intertwine personal stories with their broader discussions. They recount experiences with roommates, pets, and their journey as a couple navigating life's challenges together.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex [25:00]: "We carried up a heavy mattress to the second floor together... and finally, I slept on it and felt great."
• Mrs. P [27:24]: "You have the right mindset to avoid getting pipelined."

Insights: These anecdotes serve to humanize the hosts, showcasing their resilience and teamwork. They illustrate how personal experiences shape their perspectives on larger societal issues, reinforcing the podcast's theme of navigating numerous "tabs" or facets of life.

---

6. Health Concerns and Lifestyle

Discussion: Health and lifestyle topics emerge as Alex discusses the challenges of maintaining wellness amidst a tumultuous world. They touch upon issues like sleep quality, the importance of good mattresses, and the impact of stress on daily life.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex [32:07]: "When you don't get a good night's sleep, everything suffers. Your work, your mood, your energy."
• Mrs. P [32:44]: "Brooklyn Bedding mattresses are a game changer. They're custom and delivered directly to your door."

Insights: Emphasizing the importance of sleep, the hosts advocate for quality mattresses as a solution to improve overall well-being. This segment naturally transitions into sponsorship mentions, highlighting products that align with their lifestyle-focused discussions.

---

7. Media Critique and Conspiracy Theories

Discussion: A heated segment unfolds as Alex critiques various media figures and the rise of conspiracy theories. He expresses disdain for personalities like Joe Rogan and Theo Von, blaming them for spreading misinformation and fostering divisive narratives.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex [16:00]: "Or the Robinsons come in here. And you're like, oh, Jesus Christ. You're a conspiracy brains fuckers."
• Alex [66:59]: "We're shouting about fish. It sounds like they're going, 'mahaha,' the evil villain laugh."

Insights: Alex's fervent critique reflects concerns about media influence and the proliferation of unfounded theories that undermine factual discourse. The discussion underscores a broader fear of societal fragmentation driven by unverified information spreading through influential platforms.

---

8. Sponsorships and Advertisements

Note: While the transcript includes multiple advertisements (e.g., T-Mobile, Brooklyn Bedding, Ritual, Instacart, Geico), these segments are acknowledged but not detailed in the summary, as per the user's instructions to skip advertisements.

---

9. Conclusion and Future Topics

Discussion: In the closing segment, Alex and Mrs. P reflect on the episode's discussions, express gratitude towards their Patreon supporters, and tease potential future topics, including book reviews and deeper dives into specific subjects.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex [87:05]: "We're trying out new things with Mr. Third. Let us know what you want to hear in future episodes."
• Mrs. P [90:21]: "Stay safe out there because the government is reading the newspapers. Frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real."

Insights: The hosts encourage listener engagement, inviting feedback to shape upcoming content. They reiterate their commitment to addressing pressing societal issues while maintaining their unique conversational style.

---

Conclusion: Episode #121 of Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 offers a spirited exploration of contemporary societal issues through the lens of a husband and wife duo. From critiques of social media algorithms and free speech challenges to personal stories that ground their broader discussions, Alex and Mrs. P deliver a multifaceted conversation that reflects the complexities of navigating modern life. Notable for their candid exchanges and passionate viewpoints, the episode serves both as a commentary on current events and a testament to the enduring dynamics of their partnership.

Transcript

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

From ancient Rome to where you'd like to roam. T Mobile's network is there because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network. Switch now. Keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off up to $800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com KeepAndSwitch up to four lines of your virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service support in 90 plus days device and eligible carrier and timely redemption. Required card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Alex]

What did we just do?

[Mrs. P]

We got crazy sexy cool on it.

[Alex]

I mean, I guess we did.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, for sure we did. You got crazy on other podcasters with.

[Alex]

The apolitical podcast bros. We got sexy.

[Mrs. P]

Talking about our new bed.

[Alex]

Okay, we didn't really.

[Mrs. P]

Yes. Sexy.

[Alex]

No.

[Mrs. P]

It was not sleeping and rest is sexy.

[Alex]

Okay, that's true.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, we got cool talking about how I might have accidentally got pipelined because I tried to play a video game.

[Alex]

That's true.

[Mrs. P]

If I play a video game and watch a video game, we. Which you taught me is what people do. You watch other people play video games.

[Alex]

Okay, don't.

[Mrs. P]

And I tried it, and then suddenly I got pipelined.

[Alex]

Okay, you're doing the I learned it from you, dad move on me.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Too many times. Remember to smile. I'm just saying, if I go into a place. Okay. If I walk into a place and they have a black sink. Yeah, okay. No, if there's a black toilet.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, gross.

[Alex]

And you're not Italian.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, wait, what now? It's.

[Alex]

No, no, listen. Italians are allowed to do this for some reason.

[Mrs. P]

O.

[Alex]

A black sink with gold fixtures. Italian. All right. Mirror, wall, Italian. Okay, that's fine. They're allowed to do that. That's their culture. Maybe Persians. Persians can do it, too.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But anyone else, I walk in and I'm like, what's wrong with you? What's. Not only. What's wrong with you? What's wrong with your landlord? Because I know. I know you didn't make this choice.

[Mrs. P]

Listen, a black toilet, it makes me so nervous because I'm like, you're not cleaning it enough.

[Alex]

I. There's no way you can get it.

[Mrs. P]

Be a lighter color.

[Alex]

It. It's. But here's the thing. I'm. I don't. I don't like a white toilet either.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

I'm tired of white toilets. When I was growing up, back in the day, this is Going to become one of those podcasts.

[Mrs. P]

Oh yeah. Back in the good.

[Alex]

Back in my day, we had like a mauve toilet.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It was like this. It wasn't quite beige. Yeah, it wasn't quite yellow. Is that mauve? Is that the color?

[Mrs. P]

Mauve is more of a pink.

[Alex]

Is that more of a pink? What am I thinking of the.

[Mrs. P]

It's the yellowy beige one you're talking about.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What color?

[Mrs. P]

Marigold.

[Alex]

A marigold. Bring back marigold. Make toilets marigold.

[Mrs. P]

My grandma had a lima bean green one.

[Alex]

Lima.

[Mrs. P]

I love a lima bean green toilet. I just like so 70, so chic.

[Alex]

You know what it is? It's every time, Every time I get in the car with my parents, my parents have a blue car.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And they make a big deal about it. They're like, there's not a lot of blue cars on the road anymore. And I'm like, I know. And they're like, why? I'm like, cuz nobody owns anything anymore.

[Mrs. P]

There's that.

[Alex]

That's the thing is every car is now designed to be either white or silver or black.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because those are fleet cars, Those are rental cars. Those are the cars that they know will sell the best. And then like occasionally they'll do a red or when we were looking at a car the other day and there was that like, weird again, not a marigold. It wasn't yellow.

[Mrs. P]

Talking about the beige.

[Alex]

Yeah. It's not even a beige. It's just a weird brown they're pushing right now.

[Mrs. P]

We saw a truck that was that. That really muted yellowy beige. It kind of looks like vomit or baby poop.

[Alex]

It looks like quicksand. It's like quicksand.

[Mrs. P]

We used to call it the sweatpants color. Not that sweatpants are that color, but it has the, the feeling of an old shirt with a sweat stain or like the inside rim of a hat that's been worn for a couple years.

[Alex]

You know, like a white hat, especially one that you only wear in the summer and you have a sweat line.

[Mrs. P]

And then they get a Toyota and.

[Alex]

You gotta make it that color and it's a white hat you got in college.

[Mrs. P]

So gross.

[Alex]

And then the school you went to doesn't even use that design anym. So it's like you think of it as a throwback hat, but when you bought it, it's new, so it can't be a throwback.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It's just old.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And you need to throw it away.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

The same way you threw away my rope sandals.

[Mrs. P]

That was for the good of humanity.

[Alex]

No, it wasn't. They were the most comfortable sandal I ever had.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

They were Guatemalan rope sandals.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

That I bought at a music festival.

[Mrs. P]

Do you hear what you're saying?

[Alex]

Yeah, I hear what I'm saying.

[Mrs. P]

I remember walking around Point Breeze and rope sandals. I was saving your life.

[Alex]

Mm.

[Mrs. P]

You're welcome.

[Alex]

You save me from comfort.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Is what you were saving me from.

[Mrs. P]

Sure.

[Alex]

No, let's get back on these toilets here, though.

[Mrs. P]

Let's get back on the toilets.

[Alex]

No, because I'm mad. I'm just mad in general. I feel like when I'm looking around, I see there's less and less options for people because we're. They. The companies are trying to make sure that every single version. They want to make sure. Obviously. To maximize profit.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

They want to make sure that they make this thing. But, like, now there's this belief. Right. That millennials like gray.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And it's like, it's our fault.

[Alex]

It's not. It's not. We don't like gray. I.

[Mrs. P]

You're wearing a gray shirt and gray jeans.

[Alex]

Well, no, I. Well, fair point.

[Mrs. P]

Gotcha.

[Alex]

But I'm wearing it because I like this shirt.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I'm not. It's. You know what? You know, I can't stand.

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex]

And I feel so bad every time I see it. It's the fake gray wood paneling floor.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

Anytime I walk into that, I'm instantly just like, are we doing a sliding door for the bathroom, too? Like, instantly, this farm barn door. There's this whole.

[Mrs. P]

And when it closes, there's still, like, a gap. So, like, you would never poop in there because there's a gap.

[Alex]

Everyone can hear it. But the thing that drives me crazy about it is, again, we're not designing it to be custom. It's not designed to be lived in. It's design designed for the next person.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And, like, that just drives me so crazy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Customization and, like, things that are really.

[Alex]

But it's not even customization anymore. No, no.

[Mrs. P]

What I was going to say is, like, the people having really eclectic aesthetics that, like, they make their own are getting harder and harder because they don't. Most companies don't really make a bright yellow toilet. Although I will say maybe last year or two years ago, the One Big Sink brand release their vintage throwback colors, and they had the lima bean green toilet. And I was like, I'm gonna buy that toilet. Just because I was like, you don't see that kind of shit anymore. I love It.

[Alex]

No, but also, I mean, the thing is, in general is, I feel like people don't. The personalization we're allowed to do is decals and magnets.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like, I was. I saw. I saw an image the other day, and somebody was pointing out, like, what happened to these liberals, and they showed, like, the back of a Subaru covered. I'm talking about a 2004.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Anti Iraq war protesting lib.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. They got run off the road by a car with high beams.

[Alex]

Yeah. But, you know. You know, everybody knows the car I'm talking about. Right. That big bumper. It's got about 25 stickers on it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It's got all of them. There's a Gore Lieberman in the corner for some reason.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Remember those libs? I miss a Gore Lieberman Lib. I hate a Lieberman. Miss a Gore Lieberman library. There was a few people there where, like, you would go into, like, 2006 and you'd have, like, a Rosie O'Donnell live be like, they stole the election. Like, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Whoa.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

She moved to Ireland.

[Alex]

I know.

[Mrs. P]

Good honor.

[Alex]

Good for her.

[Mrs. P]

She deserves it. Listen, she's been fighting with the dictator for a long time.

[Alex]

She has people. A lot of people don't realize how long that's been going on.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And how he forgets he's feuding with her sometimes. Yeah, he does. Because he has dementia. Dementia. Don is like, wait, what happened? So, like, Rosie O'Donnell when. When he won reelection.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

She packed up, I think her youngest kid.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

She has, like a 12 year old. And she was like, we left and she went to Ireland and she's working on getting citizenship. So she made like a TikTok, just like, hey, everybody, I live in Ireland now.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And it was crazy because I saw a lot of comments being like, must be nice to have the privilege. I'm like, y'all don't understand.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. She's enemies of the state.

[Alex]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

She got. She lost her gig at the View because she talked so much on him.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

She never got off his neck.

[Alex]

But also, she respect. Like, WWE did. Fake Don. Donnie versus Rosie matches. Like, there was a famous thing. You can go on the Internet and you can see Donald Trump versus Rosie O'Donnell on Monday night Raw.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And it was done by Vince McMahon, Donald Trump's best friend. It was. All Donald Trump ever used to do was go on Howard Stern and call her a fat pig.

[Mrs. P]

Y.

[Alex]

It was. And she would, like, fight back some. And then everyone be like, oh, she's being rude. She's a loud lady. All this different stuff. Like, Donald attacked her for years. And so she was like, yeah, you know what? I'm not gonna risk it. I said, she stayed the first term. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Well, listen, the. She was willing to risk herself and her own career and everything to fight him, which. Good on her.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And she wasn't willing to risk her child.

[Alex]

No.

[Mrs. P]

And I get that.

[Alex]

No. And it's just he's going crazier.

[Mrs. P]

Also, Howard Stern had to apologize her.

[Alex]

Yeah, he did.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And she fucking deserved. Also, I went to the Rosie Donald show when I was a teenager.

[Alex]

You did?

[Mrs. P]

I have a Koosh member. She said kushes into the audience. Yeah. I've been in Rosie O'Donnell stand since day one. Since a league of Their Own.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I said, wait a minute. Who's this Rosie Donald character? I love A League of Their Own. All I ever wanted was Geena Davis's jawline.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Madonna's personality. And Rosie O'Donnell is a best friend.

[Alex]

I think you have. You have two of the three.

[Mrs. P]

I can get Masseter, Botox and get that jawline.

[Alex]

You have a pretty strong jaw. I know people can't see it, but you got a pretty strong jaw as it is also. You just need a mute.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You gotta do the jaw exercises and you gotta.

[Mrs. P]

I'm super into alpha content now.

[Alex]

Alpha content.

[Mrs. P]

I got pipelined.

[Alex]

That's our. That's our target audience. Our target audience. Now, I believe and listen to all of our listeners who've listened to us for so long. Let's.

[Mrs. P]

We're starting a pipeline.

[Alex]

We're pipelining every single one of you.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

We're moving you in a direction now where you need to be taking creatine. And if you need to buy these supplements.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You can find all of them in our. Go down to the. Scroll down. Link in the show notes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Follow our affiliate code. Also, I'm here to tell you right now that George Soros, he's out there, he's buying elections.

[Mrs. P]

We need to stop him. Whoa.

[Alex]

That's what. We're pivoting.

[Mrs. P]

I don't think we should.

[Alex]

We're apolitical.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

I no longer am political. I'm above politics. I don't except about them.

[Mrs. P]

Is this because you're concerned about what's happening in the world? So you're going to stop talking?

[Alex]

I'm not stopped talking. I have been sick and I've been. So here's what happened. Our child is doing more stuff.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

He's. He's, he's making.

[Mrs. P]

He's on an adventure.

[Alex]

He's on adventures. He's making friends. Yeah, he is. With collecting germs his own age.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

We're socializing him, taking him to birthday parties. We're taking him to playgrounds, Pennywise, everywhere. And here's the thing. When you take a child out into the world, they collect germs like Pokemon, just at a rate that I did not know. And what they do is the kid gets sick two days. The parent. The parent gets sick for a business fortnight. 10 days.

[Mrs. P]

10 days.

[Alex]

No weekends off.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

10 straight days. And it's just every symptom. You don't just get one. Oh, I have a light cough. Oh, I have sinus infection. Oh, I have an upset tummy. Oh, no, no, no. You're gonna go through every stage of symptoms possible, but never enough to actually put you in the hospital to make you feel like you should. Yeah, but you can't go to the hospital.

[Mrs. P]

Let this be a lesson. If you're currently not with child or thinking about having children, what a great time to get an iud. Birth control or a vasectomy. What a great time.

[Alex]

Or a vibrator, which I should have taken that promo code. You're never going to.

[Mrs. P]

Never going to. We're going to take it next time they offer it, is what I'm saying. You're going to take it.

[Alex]

A toy company reached out to me, adult toy company. And they wanted me to make a TikTok. And at the time, I was talking and making a lot of content. Because this was like three weeks ago ago.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

About the chilling of free speech.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex]

And specifically protesters having their visas and green cards canceled. And it's only gotten worse since then.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It'S only gotten worse since then. And so I was looking at this stuff and I'm like, I don't want to be like, hey, the government is grabbing people off the street and throwing them into unmarked vans. And then the next video be like, y'all need to nut. As a form of resistance.

[Mrs. P]

He should do it for that exact reason. I said, hey, y'all, it's stressful out here. World crumbling, democracy on the edge. You know what? You need relief. You need a break.

[Alex]

We all need a release. We need a release from the horrors of the world. That's why you need to go to this company.net over here and get yourself a free toy. I didn't want to do that. I felt it would be hilarious.

[Mrs. P]

I thought it would be hilarious. And I said, anybody that didn't get why it's funny. We can easily block them.

[Alex]

But I. I did not feel comfortable. I thought it was. I thought it is funny. Yeah, but it's. It would be funny in a 2012 or even like a Covid psycho context.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

I feel like now that it's real, that it's happening and that there is a general number. There is. Who was that? Okay, give me your hand. Who is the. There's a female comic.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Who is really known for her roast right now. What's her name?

[Mrs. P]

Oh, the blonde one.

[Alex]

Nikki Glaser. Nikki. Thank you so much, Mr. Third. I've decided our producer's name is Mr.

[Mrs. P]

Third, not Mr. Third.

[Alex]

Yeah, our third just yelled out Nikki Glaser. Nikki Glaser went to Conan O'Brien's Mark Twain Prize.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex]

And there was a big to do about whether or not he should still accept it at the Kennedy Center. The Kennedy center is where it's traditionally been held. Dictator Don has been, you know, changing stuff over there. Now he's also attacking Smithsonian, blah, blah, blah. But there was a big to do about, you know, whether or not it should be at the Kennedy Center. But Conan was like, no, no, this is where it's always been happening. We're going to do this. And also, he. He used a lot of really great quotes from Mark Twain about being a patriot means always supporting your country. Your country. Support your country all the time, but your government, when it deserves it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Things like this. And some very good Mark Twain quotes. And all these different things about and putting into the context of American history. I've always respected Conan because he is a fan of history.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And he's really well read and all this different stuff. And also I like him. And he's a ginger and therefore default a good person.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, okay.

[Alex]

Mark Twain, also famously a ginger.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Should have been brought up more often. But Nikki Glaser was there and she talked about how. Yeah. Current event stuff right now it makes you just feel like, I don't know if I want to, like, touch on that stuff. And I immediately was like, you fucking coward. Instantly I was like, you fucking coward, Joe Rogan, you fucking coward. Theo Vaughn, you fucking coward. Fucking all of you dumb. I'm a free speech warrior. They are black bagging motherfuckers on the street. They are pulling up. They pulled up on a lady this week. This week. They pulled up on her with. Had masks on. Mr. Oh, the masks. Oh, if I gotta wear a mask, if my kid wears a mask to Disney World, that's how they're gonna get. That's how they're gonna control our brains. Fucking unnamed federal agents wearing gators on their face pull up on a woman and yell, your visa. She yelled, I need the police. And they yell, we are the police. They whip out badges and throw her in a fucking van and drive her off. Did this happen in Tehran? Did this happen in fucking Beijing? Did this happen in Pyongyang? Did this happen in Moscow? Did this happen in fucking Venezuela? No, it didn't happen in any of those fucking places. It happened in fucking Boston, Massachusetts. And it happened because this person wrote an op ed asking her school, Asking her school, the president of her school. She was one of four people in a student newspaper who wrote an op ed saying. Saying, hey, I don't want my tuition being used as investments in the middle of war crimes. That's it. That's it. That's the request. And she wrote it in the paper. Remember the paper? Student newspapers, the press, the thing that is specifically laid out in the fucking First Amendment. You free speech warriors, huh? You Maga cucks, you DraftKings fucking Jesters, you fucking. You guys can pop a bluechew because you know at the end of the day, you're never gonna get your dick hard again. You know why? I'll tell you why. Because the blood that flows through your veins has been bought and fucking sold by a bunch of blood bag billionaires who just can't wait to roll out generative AI so they can keep making fun of the people that they're throwing into fucking detention centers. You fucking assholes. You want to talk about another topic?

[Mrs. P]

I was also the ovon.

[Alex]

No, I'm not done it. No, no, because Theo Von pisses me off the most out of all of them. He pisses me off out of money. Because you know what? Theo Von is Theo Vaughn. Theo Vaughn is the fucking Larry the Cable guy, all right? At the end of the day, Theo. No, actually, you know what? Theo Vaughn, you know what you are? You're Jeff Dunham's fucking. Fucking yokel puppet. Remember the yokel puppet?

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

When you do this as a clip, throw the picture up. Remember that? Fucking yokel puppet? Anybody from 2006 remember that shit? That's Theo Vaughn. That's a man doing a fucking character. He has like the second or third largest in 2024, Theo Vaughn had the second or third largest revenue for a stand up show. Yeah, because when he's doing. He's doing Southern minstrelism. You, you're. You just. You go up there like, no, I don't know what you're talking about now. I. I know I'm from. I'm from down in the deep south somewhere. No, that's. We just don't think about things. At the end of the day, Theo Vaughn, Joe Rogan, all these things come out and they go, what is. Has anybody run this through Grok? Has any run this through chat. GPT? Oh, I don't understand what's happening. There's a 900 page document you dumb fucks fucking co signed in the last election. It's called Project 2025. They're checking off every fucking thing. Where's your conspiracy brains fuckers? There's an open conspiracy theory of the Heritage foundation and others and Marion Adelson and fucking the biggest billionaires in the world. They're all lined up. They're all right there, y'all screaming out fucking George Soros all day. Elon Musk is currently offering a million dollars to people who promise that they will vote the way he wants to fucking vote. Oh, oh, but. But they bought the 2020 election and they did all this different stuff. Fuck you, you fucking lying sacks of shit. I am so sick of these fucking assholes. Stop pretending you're apolitical. Put on the fucking MAGA hat, okay? And when you step out of line, you will be the first one fucking batted down. Realize that, Joe Rogan. That's why when you have Mark Zuckerberg on, you don't talk to Mark about, you know, the fucking genocides that you know of the. Of the people that he helped in Myanmar. You don't hold Mark Zuckerberg to the fire. What are you all fucking talking about? You talk about MMA and creatine. You sat there with one of the richest men in the world who have more control over our social media than anyone else on this fucking planet. Joe Rogan sitting across from you and. And y'all talked about fucking bow hunting. Fuck you, you five foot three stack of shit. Honestly, apologize to Carlos Mencia. Because you screamed for years, Joe Rogan, that Carlos Mencia's stealing axe. You. You said the whole time you stole Rush Limbaugh's whole fucking act, you bald little fucking skinny, fat piece of shit with no ass. Stay down there in Austin, Texas. Wear your keep Austin weird T shirt as you go to a fucking Citibank fucking cafe to go get a flat white latte and then go have another Nazi on your fucking program, you bag of shit. I hate these fucking people and I hate what they did to the art form that I used to fucking love, which is stand up comedy. I fucking hate it because every time, now, every time I think about doing a little bit more, that means I have to go to a fucking open mic. And then I have to be. I have to have the reality thrown into my fucking face. The reality of these photocopied fucking chatgpt little boys who have to stand there and be like, oh, all right, let me get up here and do my next punchline. Minorities and women. We used to make fun of these fuckers at open mics back in fucking 2010. We used to make fun of the Northeast Philly guy or the Delco guy who would show up in his no Fear T shirt and his fucking cargo pants, cargo shorts, and he'd stand up there and tell fucking jokes about Chinese people and be like. No one would laugh. He'd bomb like a motherfucker. We would tell him which bar in Delco that he can go get. Fucking go do a Delco bar show. We'd say, go out there where people are gonna stand around and watch March Madness games and complain that you're talking to the fucking microphone because they're not even fucking listening to you. You're just in the goddamn way. And now instead, we have an entire fucking Peter Thiel funded background of fucking podcasts that are being held up by a series of secretive fucking billionaires who are pushing conspiracy theories on people while actively working in the fucking same conspiracies that they're in. And now I gotta sit around and debate over whether or not I make a TikTok, because every time I make a fucking TikTok talking about shit like this, it goes so viral. I'm like, there's another list. There's another fucking list. And I sit there and I worry, but do I stop? No, I can't. I fucking can't. I start fucking posting on threads. I just. Instead of yelling like this into a microphone on the podcast.

[Mrs. P]

Well, you couldn't because you're sick.

[Alex]

I've been very sick.

[Mrs. P]

So he's just been using his thumbs on threads.

[Alex]

I've just been on threads and on blue sky and on other places just screaming into the night, and I'm like, that's a fucking. And then I look at this lady, this lady up in fucking Boston, or the guy at Columbia, or all these other different people of what? The crimes they've committed.

[Mrs. P]

Thousands we don't know about that weren't recorded on someone's phone.

[Alex]

So many.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Of people being fucking disappeared by our federal government while Alex Jones says fucking nothing. Visas are a privilege. Fucking green card is a privilege. Oh, yeah. Speaking is a privilege. Speaking is a privilege. Make sure. Hey. Hey. Talking out of turn is a privilege. Daddy said. Daddy said you should be quiet. Children should be seen, not heard. Actually, sometimes we don't want to see the children. Isn't that right? Isn't that right, Joe Rogan? Isn't that right, Jake Paul? Isn't that right, Lex Friedman? You fucking cowards.

[Mrs. P]

Who's Lex Friedman?

[Alex]

Exactly. Ex fucking zackly. Who's Lex Friedman? These fucking assholes that you know what they're doing all this shit for? To be lake people on a fucking boat.

[Mrs. P]

Don't you bring lake people up.

[Alex]

I'ma do it. No, I'ma do it.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

Because at the end of the day, there has never been.

[Mrs. P]

Are there lakes in Austin?

[Alex]

Yeah, there's lakes. There's lakes all across Texas.

[Mrs. P]

Really? Yeah, I just thought they had a bunch of fucking wild hogs.

[Alex]

Listen. You don't want to listen. Look up some of the names of some of those lakes.

[Mrs. P]

I don't want to do that.

[Alex]

No, you don't want to do that.

[Mrs. P]

You told me about the one with the president or. No, the governor.

[Alex]

Yeah, what the former governor used to go to.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. No, thank you.

[Alex]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mrs. P]

Hot Wheels.

[Alex]

No, not that governor. Oh, not governor. Hot Wheels. No, no, it was.

[Mrs. P]

I was like, listen, Hot Wheels is the nicest thing you could say.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Because little kids love Hot Wheels. They have the cool racetracks and you could shoot the little car all over the place.

[Alex]

Yeah. I mean, Hot Wheels are cool. Hot Wheels are fine. People love Hot Wheels.

[Mrs. P]

I would have called them a garbage truck. Beep, beep, beep.

[Alex]

Hey, prime members, are you tired of ads interfering with your favorite podcasts? Good news. With Amazon Music, you have access to the largest catalog of ad free top podcasts included with your prime membership. To start listening, download the Amazon music app for free or go to Amazon.com adfreepodcasts that's Amazon.com adfreepodcast to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

From ancient Rome to where you'd like to roam. T Mobile's network is there because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network. Switch now, keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off at the $800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com KeepAndSwitch up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualified unlock device, credit service port in 90 plus days. Device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required card is no cash access. It expires in six months.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because you're like a good person.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. It's gross.

[Alex]

I know. I hate it.

[Mrs. P]

Nobody likes it.

[Alex]

Honestly, I was doing pretty good. I was doing pretty good in my life.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Until you running around South Philly and rope sandals before I showed up.

[Alex]

Yeah. I was doing great. I was fighting chickens in alleyways.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

You ever fought a Cambodian chicken? I did. In an alleyway. No, I lost. I was looking for my missing cat.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Named Trouble.

[Alex]

His name was Trouble. I jumped into an alleyway looking for. Looking for a pussy. Named Trouble.

[Mrs. P]

That's what I said.

[Alex]

And I found an angry cock. Yeah. It was an old bit. That's a very old stand up bit.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But it's true.

[Mrs. P]

Because you had that roommate that left the door open and maybe got an.

[Alex]

Alcoholic roommate who left the front door open for six hours because he fell asleep with the front door open. And my cat. And it was right when I started dating you.

[Mrs. P]

I know.

[Alex]

Well, that was the part that was great. So what I loved about that cat.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

The cat was so cool. Trouble was an amazing cat. And what was nice was he was my Mary Poppins.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Through my dark times. Because I got him before I had my big breakup.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then all of my. Let's sew my wild oats. And also like be depressed and work as a mall security guard.

[Mrs. P]

Perfect.

[Alex]

And drive across the country.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And all these like weird and crazy things that I did. And then I moved to Philly. I met you.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

I brought you over once. You met Trouble.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And then my alcoholic roommate came home at 3am passed out in the front door, Opened the front door and fell like. Like a tree. Just.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

On the ground. And then I woke up. I want to say was, you know, 9:00am or something. I came down and the cat's missing and he's asleep in the front door. And I'm just like shocked. The TV was still there. I had a. I had a PS3 and a TV and Batman. Arkham Asylum.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I was like, I would. And then I'm like, where are all my stuff? Still here. Right. Okay, wait, where's the cat? And then I never saw the cat again.

[Mrs. P]

I.

[Alex]

But I feel like the cat left like Mary Poppins. Like it was the cat's time.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

To enter into.

[Mrs. P]

Because I showed up and was like, hey, you gotta. You gotta move. This is not good.

[Alex]

You're like this place has fleas.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. I was like, you gotta get out here.

[Alex]

It did. The whole place had fleas.

[Mrs. P]

And then I told you all about the secret way to. When you're getting. No, not when you're getting rid of fleas, but if there's fleas in your house and you're getting all the chemicals down to get rid of them.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

We used to. I had a job where I had to do this. I would put flea collars, like, cat flea collars on my ankles.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So they wouldn't jump on you.

[Alex]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

So I would have the. Just like a bag filled with cat collars. And I was like. One day, if somebody found me and they were like, why do you have 18 cat collars? Flea collars. And I'd have to be like, well, sometimes I have to go get rid of fleas, but I don't want them to jump up my legs because they get stuck in your pant cuffs. And then you take them home.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Mrs. P]

And you're like. I was explaining this to you. And you're like, you are the weirdest person I ever met. Yeah.

[Alex]

And then, because I had to do. We couldn't get an exterminator.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

The place was so cheap. I'll never forget. I was paying 350amonth.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Remember. Remember when those could be.

[Alex]

I was paying 350amonth.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

For a three bedroom.

[Mrs. P]

Back in the day. Nostalgia.

[Alex]

Oh, my God. Yeah. That was for my one room in the three bedroom. I remember. I remember it like we all complained about it too.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Like, we're like.

[Alex]

It was like. I think it was 10:50 for the three of us. And we're like, so much. This is so crazy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then we found out the alcoholic roommate was actually lying. It was only 800 and.

[Mrs. P]

Shut up. His pocketing.

[Alex]

Yeah. So he was charging me and the other guy 350 and he was paying 100 himself.

[Mrs. P]

That's so funny.

[Alex]

I was like, you bet.

[Mrs. P]

You got bamboozled by that guy.

[Alex]

I did. Hard.

[Mrs. P]

That's so.

[Alex]

I got it so hard. And the other. And the other roommate is the famous podcaster now, too. So much more successful. Just so much more successful. Great guy, though. Yeah, he's one of the few. He's one of the few where I'm like, all right, I like you still. Yeah, I like you.

[Mrs. P]

You crossed me yet.

[Alex]

No, not me. He hasn't crossed America. He hasn't crossed the Constitution like the rest of them. You know what?

[Mrs. P]

Okay. You already yelled about podcasters.

[Alex]

No, but I remember dealing with fleas. Because you taught me about the. The thing, the cat collars. The cat collars around the ankles, which does work.

[Mrs. P]

It does.

[Alex]

It does work. It works huge. And then somebody else told me about cutting up the collars and putting them inside of the vacuum. So that way, when you're. When you vacuum up the fleas, it kills them inside of the canister or the bag. Because there's also. There was these. There was this thing that you could buy at the time that you could, like, suck up the collars. Not college, but it was like this little cup. It was like, you suck this in the vacuum, and then any fleas you sucked up, you got it like the. Would die. And they're like. Yeah, it's just cat collars. It's the same thing. It's just. It's just number one rule, though.

[Mrs. P]

Don't put those collars on cats. No, don't put the cat collars, the flea collars on cats. That's not good for them.

[Alex]

No, it's not good for them.

[Mrs. P]

But there's other uses.

[Alex]

Yeah, but the. But the other thing, too, was then the bowl.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

A shallow, clear bowl that you fill with water and a little bit of soap. And then putting all of the bed. Each of the feet of the bed.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

In that. And then like every day, checking it and being like, oh, my God. Like, it was. It was just wave after wave of fleas. And then it was like, right around the time bedbugs came back. Yeah, that's right. For those of you who's young enough, we got rid of bed. But much like measles. No, much like measles.

[Mrs. P]

Warning, bedbugs, conversation, polio. There are people that don't like talking about those.

[Alex]

They don't.

[Mrs. P]

And I understand why.

[Alex]

No, I get that. I get that. But I remember the day that they. I was like, wait, what are you talking about bedbug? Because, I mean, like, I remember as a child, they're being like, don't let the bedbugs bite. It was like, that's weird.

[Mrs. P]

That's a weird thing to say.

[Alex]

It's weird things that they. Because, like, we don't have in context.

[Mrs. P]

We didn't have them.

[Alex]

Yeah, we didn't. We didn't.

[Mrs. P]

And then they came back.

[Alex]

And when. The first time. I did hire an exterminator, before I lived with the alcoholic, it was a different place. And then they were in the walls. Oh, and we had no idea. Me and the roommate didn't do anything wrong. It's just we lived on a Block. And it was like, we're in row homes. It's just. They started coming through, and we found this old man exterminator. And he knew how to deal with them. And we're like, how did you know? Because we tried a couple exterminators. They didn't get rid of them at all.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And he was like, I was there in 73. And we're like, what? He was like, it was his nam. Like, dealing with bedbugs was his name. But he was just really old. He was this really old black guy. And I'll never forget because he was the type of crazy I like.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because he just started telling me being like, you know who the real signers of the constitution are?

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

I was like, go on, King, get it. And he was just started telling me all this, like, just like, stuff that, like, it was so nuts. And he was like. He, like. He pulled out, like, a card that he had, like, written a little graph on. I was like, I love a graph.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

I love a graph. When you don't get a good night's sleep, everything suffers. Your work sucks. Your mood sucks. Your energy sucks. Right? And Mrs. P knows exactly what I've been talking about because I have been sick and it's been a bad time. We haven't been sleeping well on our old lumpy mattress. That's why we're both so happy to have Brooklyn Bedding as this week's sponsor. Their mattresses are a game changer. They're custom. They're sent directly to your door. And we just got one, and we've been able to sleep on one. And, boy, are we never been able to sleep better. Right, Mrs.

[Mrs. P]

Pink? It's incredible. I didn't know how bad the old one was.

[Alex]

Yeah, we didn't know how bad we were sleeping.

[Mrs. P]

I have.

[Alex]

Until Brooklyn Mattresses gave us a better way to sleep. It's a pillow top mattress.

[Mrs. P]

It's got a cooling thing. It makes it cool.

[Alex]

It's a cooling pad so you don't feel as. As hot and so you're not tossing and turning all night.

[Mrs. P]

It was super easy to put on the bed.

[Alex]

It was so easy to put on bed. You just pull it out of the box. It poofs right up because it's been. It's in this air suction thing. It's so great. Brooklyn Bedding mattresses are free of fiberglass. They have different firmness options all across their website. Heights, dimensions, sizes. There's truly something for everyone. You can go to Brooklyn betting.com and use our promo code too many at checkout to get 30% off site wide. This offer is not available anywhere else. Use our promo code on the very last page of checkout to get this discount. That's Brooklyn betting dot com. And use code too many for 30% off site wide. Brooklyn betting dot com promo code. Too many.

[Mrs. P]

Too many. That's before the Internet ruined conspiracy theory.

[Alex]

Well, speaking of. Well, we sat down and we started to watch the contrapoints conspiracy video that just came out.

[Mrs. P]

I love her so much.

[Alex]

I know. I. But I got mad.

[Mrs. P]

I know you did. Because you're a content goblin.

[Alex]

I'm not a content goblin. I just. There's somebody pointed out and I've. I've been mad ever since that left. Content creators on the left, they get to a certain size and then they only make one to three pieces of content a year.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And contrapoints is one of those. I was like looking. It's like, I love contrapoints. I love the points she makes. I love the research she does.

[Mrs. P]

I really enjoy vibes, glamour.

[Alex]

I understand it takes a lot to do what she does.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I also don't think you need to go that hard. And also I don't think it needs to be 2 hours and 40 minutes. I think she could have made her conspiracy video. Could have been an eight parter or it could have been a documentary series.

[Mrs. P]

Get them ads, girl.

[Alex]

Well, you can get the ads, but also on top of that you can break it up so it's more palatable. Like Jenny Nicholson makes a four hour video. Okay, right. About the Star wars experience at Disney.

[Mrs. P]

Right. I remember you explaining that.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, it's good video. Could have broken it up. That could have easily been 16 episodes. I would have come back every week. And instead now you start binging and you get into this like psychosis about some of these things. But then on top of that, it's like Jenny appears to hbomberguy makes a video about plagiarism. Love it. Great video. It's three and a half fucking hours long. It's longer than Return of the King.

[Mrs. P]

It sounds director's need to take your ADHD medication.

[Alex]

No, it's not.

[Mrs. P]

Focus up.

[Alex]

No, it's not. I don't want to sit down. Oh, but then you can stop and come back. Okay, cool. So now we're inflating numbers. When I were inflating numbers, I don't know if 5 million people are watching your video or if 1 million people are stopping and restarting it five times. And so now do I do I have an understanding as a, as a person who is looking around at messaging and looking around at how we communicate our thoughts and ideals. How many people are actually absorbing this? So if, if one person is, is leaving and coming back to your video 10 times and so your numbers are super inflated by that. I'm not even saying you're being boded. And I'm not saying I even know if this is true. I don't know how, how YouTube reads numbers in that way about returning versus leaving people. But like, you might have a really good point that you make at the 2 hour and 10 minute mark.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

I know for a fact that YouTube has a little chart that drives you.

[Mrs. P]

Crazy about to get personal.

[Alex]

Oh, no, I've been too, I've been in the, I've been too deep in the analytics on YouTube.

[Mrs. P]

We got to stop him from looking at the analytics.

[Alex]

No, that's why we have Mr. Third.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Mr. Third has been brought in. It's his job. I want him to go.

[Mrs. P]

Mental illness that Alex has acquired. Looking at the analytics.

[Alex]

It's not just me. It's so many people. Because like when I went to, when I went to vidcon, it was right around the time all these people started announcing. YouTubers started announcing that they're retiring or they're stepping back away from their channel. All these different things.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You get so deep into it and you can either go one of two ways. You can either be like, it, I'm just gonna do my thing.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

You. Or, or you, Mr. Beast. It.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

You make a hundred thumbnails.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

You analyze all of them.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

Spreadsheet everything.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

You make sure that you put a number inside of each title. You stop doing it for the love of the game and you start doing it to push on these certain trending algorithmic topics and to sell chocolate bars at Walmart and to sell chocolate bars at Wall or Weird Goo Toys.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know.

[Alex]

I don't know.

[Mrs. P]

I. I've only ever seen the chocolate bars at the Walmart.

[Alex]

Yeah, listen, I have, I have very. It's very hard for me to say that, like what my goal is for our child, but keeping our child, our son, away from Mr. Beast, Asmongold, XQC and these other streamers and their clip channels. Like, that's my goal.

[Mrs. P]

Is it like that goal, working for your wife?

[Alex]

No. Because you actually almost got pipelines. You did.

[Mrs. P]

I know. You told me yesterday I was going to get pipeline.

[Alex]

Yeah. No, but you're like, you're on the edge. You're Right. You are right at the funnel.

[Mrs. P]

Are you going to explain to people how I keep walking? Almost getting pipeline.

[Alex]

So. Okay. Mrs. P does not play video games. She played Animal Crossing during the pandemic. During the pandemic. And you played Echo the Dolphin.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

In the 90s.

[Mrs. P]

In the 90s, I played Echo on my Sega Genesis.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Mrs. P]

And then when computer games started, I really liked that Alice in Wonderland game. I think it was just called Alice.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah. And that's. Which is a very famous game.

[Mrs. P]

I loved that game.

[Alex]

Yeah. I think. I think it was done by the same guys did Psychonauts. It's like a really, really good, like, twist on Alice in Wonderland.

[Mrs. P]

I really enjoyed that because, again, Spooky. Spooky. Loved it.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And then I think that must have been. I was like, 16, and then I. At 17, I started my trajectory into party time USA. So I don't. I stopped playing video games.

[Alex]

You did, but. Because you didn't really play them again with anyway. Because also you were. You were at an age where I.

[Mrs. P]

Was, like, playing Alice but then clicking over to read Perez Hilton.

[Alex]

Yeah, but also it was one of those things where, like, women were really pushed away from video games even more than they are. Like, I know there's a whole industry now that's like, women are playing games. Woke bad dei. But it was like, even back then, it was. You had to really want to like video games as a woman to, like, actually get into them because there wasn't really places to talk about them. Online spaces defaulted to assuming everyone in the forum was a man. They were really marketed only to men. So it was, like, very rare for there to be a video game that wasn't a Barbie horse game. That was aimed at Barbie Horse Game. I mean, Barbie Horse game. No, you were too old for the Barbie horse game.

[Mrs. P]

I know. There's a video game that's currently trending.

[Alex]

On the Ticky Talk, and it's called Repo, and it's a multiplayer game. I just hit a button with my foot.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, wow.

[Alex]

I know. Well, we have a lot of things around now.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, change the lights. Make them handsome.

[Alex]

I fixed it. But there is.

[Mrs. P]

And it looks so cute and fun. It looks great on the YouTube.

[Alex]

And we're doing clips now, y'all. Yeah, we're trying.

[Mrs. P]

I see them on the Ticky Talkie game.

[Alex]

Repo. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The game Repo, you're super into it, and I'd never even heard of this game.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And you're Like, I've been watching clips from this game, and it's from all these different streamers, and some of them are small streamers, stuff like that. And you're showing me it's a very funny game. It's like these people in, like, a haunted thing.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And they're repo guys.

[Alex]

Yeah. And they're just grabbing random stuff. They have to build up, like, a certain amount of stuff inside their little wagon.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And.

[Mrs. P]

But there's hurdles to that.

[Alex]

Yeah. There's ghosts pop out of the wall and all this other stuff and. But it's also, like, cartoony and kind of funny.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And so, like, people explode and the guys are. Everyone's goofing on each other.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And they're. What's called griefing, actually.

[Mrs. P]

Griefing.

[Alex]

Yeah. So, like, it's a thing where, like, you're intentionally. It's basically bullying, but it's in a video game, so it's not real.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

It's. No, I mean, like. Okay. So, you know, everything I hear about.

[Mrs. P]

Online bullying is like, kids in grade school, like.

[Alex]

No.

[Mrs. P]

But having a good time.

[Alex]

Okay. But there's a different. Like, online griefing is more. I want to say more like light hazing.

[Mrs. P]

I. I need you to know that, like, friendly hazing. The hazing, bullying and friendly hazing, none of them go with the definition of the word grief.

[Alex]

Yeah, I know, but you're causing grief. Oh, so it's like I'm causing grief to a person. So, like, in Minecraft, somebody builds their little house, right?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then you go in and you change the bottom block to, like, T. TNT and then you set it next to a thing that you know is going to catch fire, and then their whole house blows up. So it's like setting a trap. You like griefing?

[Mrs. P]

I do. I don't.

[Alex]

You like pranks?

[Mrs. P]

I love a prank.

[Alex]

Yes. This is part of griefing.

[Mrs. P]

Got it.

[Alex]

Which is why you like repo so much, because it's people pushing each other at the ghost or hitting each other with the cart and then.

[Mrs. P]

Or they're adulting, barking in the background. Yeah.

[Alex]

Or any of that different type of stuff. You love that stuff.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

And so you were super into this game and then watching clips of it. Yeah. And then you. We sat down the other night and you're like, I have tiki talkies to show you because it's a nightly thing. She has to show me TikTok.

[Mrs. P]

I know.

[Alex]

And if it gets banned next week.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know what we're going to do at Night.

[Alex]

I don't. I don't know. Talk to each other.

[Mrs. P]

Gross. Save it for the pod.

[Alex]

Kiss a little.

[Mrs. P]

No, no.

[Alex]

Anyway, what you show me. And it was these three streamers, and it was jinxy. It was sketch.

[Mrs. P]

Sure.

[Alex]

And it was queso.

[Mrs. P]

Don't know.

[Alex]

Again, I only know who these people are because I am constantly being pipelined towards people.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And like, these guys, actually, for the most part, are. I like, like on the wholesomer edge of streamers.

[Mrs. P]

It was a clip where the one guy. They wanted the guy to turn around because he had all the life.

[Alex]

Yeah. Because he had stolen all the life.

[Mrs. P]

He had stolen all the life.

[Alex]

It was a funny little clip.

[Mrs. P]

It was a funny little clip. And I was giggling, but I was.

[Alex]

I was laughing so hard because I'm like, if you. By watching this one and by engaging with it, by liking it, by favoriting it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

By watching it now, I'm assuming at least three times.

[Mrs. P]

Probably three.

[Alex]

All the way through.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You have now told the algorithm that you like streamers, but not only that, you've told them you usually like. You like Hassan.

[Mrs. P]

Mm.

[Alex]

So you'll watch some of his clips. Sometimes. I'm trying to think of other streamers. But you also. You usually like more like makeup youtubers or like people gardening. Gardening. There's very specific. You have a very specific aesthetic that you've told the pipeline and the algos. But now you've said, I also like boy streamers who goof on each other. And I'm like, goofing. Aiden Ross is right behind you.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

He's right behind. No, XQC is right over there. No. Before you know it, you're gonna be on there. Be like, I heard this Assassin's Creed went woke.

[Mrs. P]

I don't.

[Alex]

They disrespected Japanese culture. That's gonna be you.

[Mrs. P]

I don't think so.

[Alex]

In, like, two weeks, you're gonna be like, maybe we don't vaccinate the baby because RFK went on this podcast.

[Mrs. P]

God, that's not gonna happen.

[Alex]

I know, but that's how it happens.

[Mrs. P]

I want to do the.

[Alex]

But that's how it happens.

[Mrs. P]

I know, but listen, I want to do the opposite of that in that. Okay, so, like, you're saying my algorithm and even the things I put out on the Internet on, like, my Instagram stuff is very specific kind of content. Right. So, like, I talk a lot about cooking. I talk about gardening.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I talk about running a household.

[Alex]

Traditional trad wife.

[Mrs. P]

I do. I talk about trad wife. But I. I'M not part of the pipeline.

[Alex]

We came up with. We would try.

[Mrs. P]

No, we were. We were talking about this, and, like, I. I still think about it is like, I want there to be a word that's like, hashtag tradwife, but that's Hashtag something else that is like, people that are doing these type of, like, things where it's like, that homesteady. It's. We're. We're doing it on our own.

[Alex]

Everybody cook. Everybody needs to clean. Yeah. Everyone needs to know how to stitch a shirt every now and then.

[Mrs. P]

Exactly.

[Alex]

Everybody. Everybody should know how to do a garden.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

How to keep a plant alive.

[Mrs. P]

And I.

[Alex]

That.

[Mrs. P]

That isn't.

[Alex]

That isn't traditional.

[Mrs. P]

No, no, I'm saying is, like, it's not traditional. It's not wife. It's human. It's a human experience. And, like, I want there to be a hashtag that I can use to then collect other people that are like, hey, I like gardening, but I don't want to get pipelined, because when I watch gardening videos, the algorithm will take me directly into homesteading, which directly tries to get me into something else. And then if I look at cooking or enough things where I'm like, oh, look at these recipes. Suddenly there's a woman in a dress with an apron with eggs. With eggs, talking about her seven kids, and I'm like, I don't want to hear about your super Christian beliefs. I just was.

[Alex]

You don't want.

[Mrs. P]

About bread.

[Alex]

You don't want to cook in Utah. No, that's basically what it comes down to is you don't want to cook. We. I want to go to Utah. I want to go see.

[Mrs. P]

Not anymore. They got rid of the fluoride. Did they? They. Did they officially, I think today they passed the law saying they can't put fluoride in any of the water in the state.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Those.

[Alex]

With those. Utah. With those Mormon chompers. Listen, you think they're gonna stay that way?

[Mrs. P]

The dentists in Utah? This was a. A collaborative effort. No doubt.

[Alex]

The dentist going after the fluoride, they.

[Mrs. P]

Were like, oh, it's so bad.

[Alex]

Oh.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, the.

[Alex]

The fluoride closes your pr. I grew up without fluoride in my water because I had a well water.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Growing up.

[Mrs. P]

That's on you.

[Alex]

That's the difference. I'm still a raging library. I'm still a raging. I'm still a little bisexual. I still believe in trans rights.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I. I still. I still know that climate change is destroying our world and our country. I still can See? Creeping fascists.

[Mrs. P]

All the things that you say bumming me out.

[Alex]

I'm not. I'm saying that my third eye is open.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because I didn't have the fluoride. You hear that? Joe Rogan? You hear that? Who am I thinking of?

[Mrs. P]

I don't hear that.

[Alex]

The. The. The. Who are the boys, Andrew? Milk boys.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know who that is exactly.

[Alex]

Because they pipeline our children.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

Hear that? The roach that lives in asmongold's hair.

[Mrs. P]

Oh.

[Alex]

What? I'm sorry. I apologize to our listeners who. You know what? Sometimes we say things you shouldn't Google. All right. Do not google asmongold. Rat clock.

[Mrs. P]

What? What are you saying?

[Alex]

Do you want to know?

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Anytime you say don't Google it, I listen.

[Alex]

I know because I think.

[Mrs. P]

I didn't listen once and I was.

[Alex]

Like, whoa, the jar.

[Mrs. P]

No, I didn't Google that.

[Alex]

You didn't. You figured out through contact.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, I, I'm. I have understanding of how context clues work.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And I figured it out pretty quick.

[Alex]

They don't teach those anymore.

[Mrs. P]

I know. That's.

[Alex]

They cut those out. That's the reason why sometimes the comments on. On short form videos are harsh.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because you're like. My favorite is when I love when somebody writes something very clearly and then somebody in the comments. What does this mean? And I'm like, exact words they said, it's fucking crazy.

[Mrs. P]

Wow.

[Alex]

Grok. What does this mean?

[Mrs. P]

Okay. What's Grok?

[Alex]

Grok is Twitter's AI.

[Mrs. P]

Oh.

[Alex]

That they are putting into things that explains things to people, but also people use now as proof that things are real. So the AI system that is owned and controlled by the fascist billionaire who owns and controls our government.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Is now training people.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Into believing that the AI system that he owns and controls can actually be unbiased and prove the truth.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, so I have a question, and.

[Alex]

The part that's really annoying is the word Grok is from a Robert Heinlein book that I really love called Stranger in a Strange Land. And it's supposed to be a deeper understanding of the world and it's a Martian word. And maybe I should do a. I should probably do a. That should be my book club episode.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I should do Stranger in a Strange Land because I think it's a really important book. Maybe that's what I'll do. Get in the comments until me. If you want me to do that.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, let us know. No, I was going to say is I didn't know what. Cuz I know that Doge is like a meme.

[Alex]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Dog me. It was originally dog.

[Mrs. P]

And then I didn't know if Grock was a meme because I was driving somewhere recently.

[Alex]

It's an original meme.

[Mrs. P]

And I saw a vape store that sells, you know, the crayon tom or whatever, and it was called Grock Cran Tom.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And I said what? I didn't. I didn't know what it meant.

[Alex]

So this book, Stranger in a Strange.

[Mrs. P]

Land, do you think the Crantom.

[Alex]

I think that. I think they just put words together.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

So there was.

[Mrs. P]

I don't think they read the book.

[Alex]

There was a button in the 70s that people. And a bumper sticker that said I Grock Spock. So Grok is, like, supposed to be this deeper understanding that, like, almost to, like, know someone both at, like a deep, Almost like atomic level. And it's like a combination of, like, sexual, otherworldly.

[Mrs. P]

Like when Odo. When Odo goos with someone.

[Alex]

Yes, yes, exactly. In Deep Space Nine, when Odo turns into the liquid and he goos with the other changelings.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

They have. It's this otherworldly. It's beyond sexual. But it could be, like. It's the only way they can compare it. Elon just heard nerd shit.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then just put it on top. And he was like, we'll just call it Grok. And like, what? And so, like, he just. He throws these things out there. He has no idea what the deeper context is. He has no idea of any of these different things. Because in his mind, much like with his battles with the video game community for being a fake gamer, he just thinks, oh, I have to have a lot of stuff.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

If I have a lot of stuff in the video game, then I'm best video gamer. And people are like, that's not how it works. That's how I know you're clearly paying.

[Mrs. P]

I know he grew up with. With an in ground pool.

[Alex]

An in ground pool.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. That's how I can tell.

[Alex]

Well, he grew up in an apartheid.

[Mrs. P]

Hellscape with an in ground pool, probably because.

[Alex]

Because his grandpa was a chiropractor.

[Mrs. P]

Because kids.

[Alex]

Because his grandpa was a chiropractor.

[Mrs. P]

Because kids that grew up within ground pools don't have to work hard to make friends, because everybody just goes, oh, we're gonna go over to his house. He has a pool. And they don't like you. You're probably the worst. But you got a pool, so they got to put up with you.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And Twitter is an in Ground pool of the Internet.

[Alex]

That's true.

[Mrs. P]

People are just putting up with him because they know that that's the place to be.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But soon people will realize, God willing, that they got to stop going on that fucking website.

[Alex]

I don't think they will.

[Mrs. P]

You don't think they're ever going to leave?

[Alex]

No. I think that the people who are still on Twitter are permanently, like, there's nothing is going to break them now. I think that there has been so.

[Mrs. P]

Many opportunities they're in, like an abusive relationship.

[Alex]

It's that plus a sunk cost fallacy. So there's a lot of them who believe, even though, that they, they. I. I see them. Like, I still have. I have the Pearl Mania 500 Twitter handle solely so no one else can impersonate me. But also sometimes I need to go. Like, I'll see screenshots of tweets, and when I go and I look at them, I'm like, is this real?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And so I want to go to the person's actual page just so I can verify it myself that this is real. And it's difficult to do that now with the way Elon's changed thing without having a login. So I have it for that point and like every now and then I'll scroll through it and also just to kind of get a vibe of what those people who are on there are seeing.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And it's crazy because people who, in 2021, before he purchased it, had big accounts. They're getting like a thousand likes. 500 likes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then the people who. Who created new accounts since 2023 or 2024, like, anything, they. You can write about anything. You could just be like, oh, I really like Cambro cups. They remind me of Pizza Hut. Right. I really like these cups. They remind me of Pizza Hut. And the top 25 fucking replies will be from blue check marks. Or being like, that was back. You know, that was back in the day before they ruined everything. You're like, oh, Jesus Christ. I know you don't mean private equity.

[Mrs. P]

Private equity.

[Alex]

I know you don't mean private equity. I know you don't mean.

[Mrs. P]

That being said, like, Pizza Hut. I wish they would bring back pizza.

[Alex]

The old Pizza Hut.

[Mrs. P]

The old pizza, yeah. Remember the buffet?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, we used to do it once a week. The. Oh, I didn't do it once a week. It was a big deal in the summertime because whenever we'd go to the beach, we'd want to save our money for the party and so be like, okay, on Monday, we're gonna go to the pizza buffet and fill up our pizza boxes while you can. Eat pizza and then eat pizza for basically breakfast, lunch, and dinner and ramen for, like, a whole week. So we could just party.

[Alex]

Last night, when we were talking about. We were watching music videos, and that's.

[Mrs. P]

How you save money.

[Alex]

Yeah. Well, last night when we were watching music videos, a Janet Jackson song came on.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And I remember I told you. I was like, yeah. You know, Janet Jackson wasn't an artist that I really, like, listened to a lot, but she was always there.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

In the. In the late 80s and then through the 90s, even in the early 2000s. But where I remember her most was my mom was a member of a health club, because back in the day, you didn't call them gyms. Yeah, they were health clubs. It was more or less. It was actually more like she was. She was a member of it because they had racquetball love. She loved a racquetball. And I just remember Janet Jackson always playing there. And one day a week, if we were good, if we would be in, like, the little daycare there, and my mom would go work out or play racquetball, whatever, and my sister and I would be in there, like, in. Like. It wasn't like a pre K. It was kind of like, oh, they will watch it for an hour or two.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

If we were good.

[Mrs. P]

Huh.

[Alex]

Then we got to go to Pizza Hut and go to the buffet. And I remember. I remember the day it stopped, though, was I was a really picky kid.

[Mrs. P]

So annoying.

[Alex]

Yeah, I know. And I remember, like, I would only eat the cheese off the pizza. And then, like, you know how in pizza, right. There's the crust.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

On the outside, but there's also a crust on the bottom.

[Mrs. P]

Huh? Yeah.

[Alex]

I would scrape the middle bread and, like, eat that.

[Mrs. P]

Come on.

[Alex]

I was. Listen. I'm telling you now. So you know what? To watch out from our son.

[Mrs. P]

It's never.

[Alex]

It's genetic. He could be.

[Mrs. P]

Is he.

[Alex]

Listen.

[Mrs. P]

Related to me, the person who thinks the pizza crust a thing I can't even have.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But I get mad when you don't eat it, because I'm like, the crust is the best part. I would eat. I would take a circle pizza roller and just circle around the pizza and give you all of the insides and just eat a ring of crust. That would make me so happy.

[Alex]

That's just.

[Mrs. P]

Honestly, death. You're just describing deathbed wick. When I'm dying, please bring me a pizza.

[Alex]

I'LL tell you.

[Mrs. P]

Circle off the crust and give it to me.

[Alex]

Here's what we'll do. When you're on your.

[Mrs. P]

The doctors will say, no, she has Celiacs. And I say, what do you care?

[Alex]

Here's what we'll do.

[Mrs. P]

Pull the plug. I'm eating this pizza crust.

[Alex]

Give me your hand. I'm gonna make you this promise.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. No.

[Alex]

Right now. No. Bring it on camera. I want people to see it.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

When you're on your deathbed, your son and I.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Will get a meat lover's pizza.

[Mrs. P]

Meat lovers. Okay.

[Alex]

That way. Because the juices get soaked in the crust.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. The flavors.

[Alex]

And we'll he better if he's vegan. I'll be like, it's for your mother. And we'll eat up until the crust.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

And then give you a crust at a time.

[Mrs. P]

Thank you.

[Alex]

As a final family meal, there's also an. And then I'll smother you with a pillow.

[Mrs. P]

Thank you, God.

[Alex]

And I'll save them. Throw out the window a water cooler. And then we'll run away.

[Mrs. P]

Smart. We're not paying that.

[Alex]

Like One Flew out of the cuckoo's nest. I mean, who am I kidding? We're gonna die in a camp.

[Mrs. P]

It's fine.

[Alex]

We're gonna die in a camp.

[Mrs. P]

Fine.

[Alex]

And you're gonna be in the camp. They're like, all we have is pizza crust. I'm like, no.

[Mrs. P]

I'll be like, I have a rash.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I haven't pooped in a fortnight, and I have a rash.

[Alex]

And our kid will be like, Fortnite. I'm like, shut up. No, you weren't supposed to play Fortnite.

[Mrs. P]

That's how you get Pipelined.

[Alex]

That's how you get Pipelined.

[Mrs. P]

No, the other game that.

[Alex]

The Roblox.

[Mrs. P]

That's the one you're not supposed to let kids play.

[Alex]

No.

[Mrs. P]

Dangerous.

[Alex]

Because they got all the creeps on there.

[Mrs. P]

The Creepers are on there.

[Alex]

No, not. No, the Creepers. Creepers are from Minecraft.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, okay.

[Alex]

Creeps.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Are on Roblox.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Creepers.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Are green.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

They have four legs. Heard they sneak up behind you, and then when you see them, they. They explode.

[Mrs. P]

Oh.

[Alex]

And they blow up anything you're working on.

[Mrs. P]

And that's not what happens on the creeps at Roblox.

[Alex]

No, no, no. They. I'm. That I want to say.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, you can say that.

[Alex]

I'm not saying.

[Mrs. P]

All I know is.

[Alex]

All I know is there's been investor reports about it because Roblox is a publicly Traded company.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

And there are investor reports from trading groups that have been like, hey, eventually this hopefully will catch up to them. And if you own stock in this shit, you are. It's going to cost you money.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

You don't want to be a shareholder.

[Mrs. P]

And you gotta get out.

[Alex]

This is not financial advice.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, we're not financial advice.

[Alex]

But as a parent. This is a parenting podcast.

[Mrs. P]

No, it's not a parenting podcast.

[Alex]

Take my hand.

[Mrs. P]

I don't want to take. I don't. My nails aren't done. Stop asking for my hand. In marriage.

[Alex]

As a parenting podcast, as experienced parents, keep your kids off roadblocks.

[Mrs. P]

We're not experienced parents.

[Alex]

Only if they can play Minecraft, but make sure their servers are in public.

[Mrs. P]

Whoa. You had a lot of insight on this.

[Alex]

I just. Listen, I was on the Internet. I was there when the Dark Magic was written. I was there. It could let in a child. No, I, I.

[Mrs. P]

So I'm gonna start playing that other game, though. The repo game.

[Alex]

The repo game.

[Mrs. P]

I'm gonna play that.

[Alex]

Forgot that's where this started.

[Mrs. P]

That's all started there because I was. I was.

[Alex]

You're getting pipelines.

[Mrs. P]

I was getting pipelined and then I decided I'm gonna download the game and play it on the computer.

[Alex]

I think it's. I think, should I turn my playing into clips?

[Mrs. P]

It'll just be me bopping around because I'm not good at video games.

[Alex]

You are not good at video games. It's actually funny how bad you are.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, you're really. Should I make clips of me playing because I'm so bad at it?

[Alex]

I see. The thing is, I don't think you're actually gonna like the game.

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex]

I don't. I think you like watching it. I don't think you're gonna like that type of game.

[Mrs. P]

I think that game is just going thrift store shopping. Have you ever gone. What's my favorite hobby? Thrift store shopping. I go, I find a weird thing that's broken, I pay under value for it, and there's some weird creepazoid in.

[Alex]

The thrift store giving me Creepazoid. No, no. Creepazoid Is there not in thrift stores.

[Mrs. P]

What? Yes, there are.

[Alex]

No, you're thinking Freakazoid from Kids wb.

[Mrs. P]

No, there's like creeps that are always there, start in trouble. Last time I was there, some guy followed me around playing a sermon on a cell phone.

[Alex]

What?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Did I tell you this? No.

[Mrs. P]

There's this guy.

[Alex]

No, cuz you know why you didn't tell me this. I'll tell you why you didn't know this because you grew up in the city. You're like, that's just what people do. That's out here in the burbs. It's somebody does that, you're supposed to fucking be like, yeah, hey, you get out of here. No, he well, asked for a manager.

[Mrs. P]

No. Gross. No, I ignored him because what he wanted was attention. He was wanting attention from ancient Rome.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

To where you'd like to roam. T Mobile's network is there because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network switch. Now keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off at the 800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com KeepAndSwitch up to 4 lines of your virtual prepaid card allowed 15 days Qualified unlocked device, credit service port in 90 plus days Device ineligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Ritual Advertiser]

Hey there Ritual. Here to give a big shout out to you for making it through the hectic holiday season. The magic of those family moments. That was you. And now there's new milestones to Prep for in 2025 this new year. Check clean quality Pregnancy nutrient support off your to do list with Ritual. We've done the research to create science backed pregnancy support like our prenatal multivitamin, natalcholine and fertility support. All designed to be taken alongside each other. But don't just take our word for it. They're also third party tested for microbes and heavy metals and clean label projects certified. So whether you're trying, thinking about trying, or already there, we don't have to tell you that prioritizing yourself can be the hardest part. That's why we're helping you get started today with 30% off a three month supply for a limited [e-mail] podcast. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

[Mrs. P]

If you're a parent or share a fridge with someone, Instacart is about to make grocery shopping so much easier because with family carts you can share a cart with your partner and each add the items you want. So odds are together you'll remember everything you need and never eat milkless cereal again. Minimize weekly shop stress with family carts. Instacart we're here. Download the app today. Enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees apply for three orders in 14 days. Excludes restaurants for me. And I said, no. You know what I do need? I want to get a dehydrator. I want to get a dehydrator from a thrift store.

[Alex]

I've been dehydrated.

[Mrs. P]

I know. Drink your water. But we saw one at the other thrift store the other day.

[Alex]

Yes. And I said, why don't you just buy a new one?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Because it was $40.

[Alex]

Well. And it was old. It was that type of faded plastic.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And I could tell that it was not the original color.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It had faded so much. It reminded me of when I see. And it was like the 80s.

[Mrs. P]

I know.

[Alex]

But it's okay.

[Mrs. P]

Well, the depreciation on the cost was not factored in.

[Alex]

But not only that, it's like I know that for a fact. Dehydrator technology has improved.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Number one. Number two, it looked like when you find like an old Mac, like 80s computer.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Where they were like that, like manila file folder color. But now for. There's some weirdly dark. Except around the keyboard where they're light from being touched so much. And sun bleached.

[Mrs. P]

Anyway, the reason I want to dehydrate is because I want to make spices. Because I have a lot of onions and garlic for the garden. Yeah. And I want to be able to dehydrate it and make it into onion powder.

[Alex]

I need to set up.

[Mrs. P]

And garlic powder.

[Alex]

I wonder how bad my posture has looked.

[Mrs. P]

It's probably pretty bad.

[Alex]

We should get a posture. You know what? We should get a posture coming where.

[Mrs. P]

They pull the strap to get push titties out. Chin up. There you go. Looking great. Looking great. Now lean forward. Look presidential.

[Alex]

Hello. Tits out. Like Toni Storm. No, listen, love Toni Storm. I.

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex]

We have topics.

[Mrs. P]

We do. I wrote them down. You have not looked at that Google Doc at all.

[Alex]

I did at one point.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And then you started screaming about the ovon.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And everything else in your brain.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And you didn't think about the promo for potatoes. You want to. You want to do the promo for potatoes?

[Alex]

About the. This week's vibing. Vibing out with the food.

[Mrs. P]

Vibing with the food. Eddie, is about mashed potatoes. Remember we did.

[Alex]

We made an episode. It was actually the first episode ever recorded in the new studio with Mr. Third. Yep. And you explained to me how to make homemade mashed potatoes using actual potatoes.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex]

And the process involved from grocery store to plate, which was much more detailed than I expected.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. You really Thought it was like you just mashed the potatoes.

[Alex]

No, there was a lot more.

[Mrs. P]

And I was like, no. And then you got really mad at me about ranch. It was a whole thing.

[Alex]

Ranch powder. Yeah. There's a lot in there. It's a very. It's a very fun time.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And I've learned a lot. And since then, I've been appreciating your potatoes more.

[Mrs. P]

Thank you.

[Alex]

So I do appreciate it.

[Mrs. P]

I appreciate that you appreciate the potatoes more. Now that you can see the invisible labor behind the mashed potatoes, I think.

[Alex]

Everybody needs to see them. People need to see the invisible labor behind everything.

[Mrs. P]

It's true.

[Alex]

I feel like when it comes to how we get our food, that's the one thing a lot of people talk about is, like, how we get our food. People just go like, oh, yeah, corn's just in a can at the grocery store. It's like, no, there's so much.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

There's so many layers of people who are being disappeared right now.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Yeah. They disappeared a farm labor guy.

[Mrs. P]

I know. I. Listen. I know. And then they just. Florida is going to pass laws that kids can work overnight.

[Alex]

Hey, child labor. I don't have the air horn button. No.

[Mrs. P]

No air horn button.

[Alex]

Our son's getting a job.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

I keep telling him.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. You're like, hey, you. You better learn to walk properly so you can go walk to work. Yeah, that's what I did. I walked to work.

[Alex]

Yeah. You know what I think? I don't trust. But Florida labor laws. I just like, no, no. When I think of things that are untrustworthy. Right.

[Mrs. P]

Go ahead.

[Alex]

I think the president. United States.

[Mrs. P]

Sure, sure.

[Alex]

I think those plastic chairs.

[Mrs. P]

What plastic chairs?

[Alex]

The. Like. Like, the really cheaper ones are, like, 25 bucks. I think that you can get it like Walmart. Even though you can get, like, the grocery.

[Mrs. P]

The kind for outside patios.

[Alex]

Yeah, but. But like, leaning back on one of them.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah, that's not good.

[Alex]

Don't trust that. No, I don't trust Florida labor laws.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. All right. Or Utah drinking water right now.

[Alex]

I'm sure it's all right.

[Mrs. P]

You sure? Okay.

[Alex]

I think I can get away with it for a couple days, maybe.

[Mrs. P]

Maybe.

[Alex]

Well, I mean, that's. Is that what lost them? The. The movie festival?

[Mrs. P]

I don't know.

[Alex]

You know the famous movie festival out there?

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

You know, the Sundance. Sundance just left, and they. It's going to Colorado. Oh. And I saw a bunch of people be like, that's what you get. Utah. And I'm like, what do they do like, because Sundance was famously in. In that one spot forever. Which is the reason why, like, the home prices were so high. Because like once, you know, once a year, they had.

[Mrs. P]

That literally happened 24 hours ago. Man, you were on top of things.

[Alex]

I'm always on top. What do you not understand? You're like, oh, you're over there just looking at your phone. I'm scrolling. I'm. I'm absorbing the world. I am Ozymandias from Watchmen with my multi screens. Except it's not. It's just one screen.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, your grumpy machine. That's what I call your phone.

[Alex]

My grumpy machine.

[Mrs. P]

Grumpy.

[Alex]

Yeah. Well, sometimes you make me grumpy too.

[Mrs. P]

Nuh, I'm the coolest.

[Alex]

I don't. Have you been around you?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Things. I'm awesome at everything. No, speaking at the food thing, I was thinking about that the other day is like, you know, I. Again, this is pre pipeline stuff. Pre homesteady pipeline. But years and years ago, it would have been like 2008 in the better times. Yeah, well, I like went through a phase where I really wanted to learn about food production and where food comes from.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And like I went to a farm and like, learn how to butcher. Learn how to butcher and like all that stuff. And like, it fundamentally changes the way you look at things.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Like when I look at chicken breasts in the, like at the grocery store, like, I see a. Like I saw. I can see how it got there and what the. What it took.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so like.

[Alex]

And the plucking and the pluck. Oh my God, you got a pluck.

[Mrs. P]

It's a whole thing.

[Alex]

Well, I mean, that's what drives me crazy about RFK and the Maha and the make America Healthy and all the, the crystal crunchy pipeline people.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because like, I agree on the very baseline of that. People need to know where their food comes from. We need to have good food protection. And like, there needs to be transparency about some things. But then they always take it to some fucking crazy level. It's the same thing.

[Mrs. P]

And then you're not vaccinating your kids all of a sudden.

[Alex]

Yeah. And then before you know it, there's a fucking. There's a measles outbreak in Newtown, Pennsylvania, which hopefully hits the neck. Allegedly. That was the wrong button.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

It doesn't matter. But no, listen, I. I am, am just like. It just drives me nuts. I don't know.

[Mrs. P]

You don't like watching people get tricked into weird little cults? I was the worst Name. I hate it. It reminds me of, like, fish. Right.

[Alex]

No. It also just sounds like they're going, mahaha.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, it is an evil villain laugh.

[Alex]

That's the evil villain laugh. How do they not hear it? I'm going, ma, listen.

[Mrs. P]

The cognitive.

[Alex]

And every single person that is like, a leader in that group is a con artist.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like, they're all con artists. They're all scammers. They're all grifters. They're all just trying to get you to buy, like, two T shirts.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And they're like, two T shirts and a crystal.

[Mrs. P]

If you just get this surgery to implant goat balls into your body, I know you will have so much male virility.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Well, listen, that's one thing is we need to bring back old timey grifters where they had to work hard, they had to start a radio station, get kicked out by the government, move to Mexico, get a stronger radio station.

[Alex]

I think that's the part that sucks. And I keep thinking about more and more. It's like, I think that we've been trying to teach people about these grifters.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

These old timey grifters, especially from the Gilded age and the 1920s and 1930s.

[Mrs. P]

So they can spot them.

[Alex]

So they can spot them. But in reality, we've been teaching ourselves their tactics.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So here's what I'm saying. Mexico radio station.

[Mrs. P]

Let's do it.

[Alex]

Take my hand.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

I got your hand on camera.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

Mexico radio station.

[Mrs. P]

We go ball surgeries.

[Alex]

Go ball surgeries.

[Mrs. P]

Punching in the face.

[Alex]

Crypto.

[Mrs. P]

Extreme dehydration.

[Alex]

Crypto.

[Mrs. P]

No, we don't. We're not doing.

[Alex]

I'm gonna rug pull them.

[Mrs. P]

We're not rug pulling.

[Alex]

I'm rug pulling all of you.

[Mrs. P]

We just got this new rug to help with the sound.

[Alex]

I know we got the sound. And I got some sound cubes. Okay, listen, we got to close up the episode.

[Mrs. P]

What is this episode even about?

[Alex]

I'll tell you what it's about. We're officially podcasters because, y'all, not only is this week's sponsor Brooklyn Bedding, a mattress company, and you've probably already heard the ad.

[Mrs. P]

Fucking right.

[Alex]

We slept on the mattress.

[Mrs. P]

Can I tell you this?

[Alex]

This is not the actual party. This is actually just. We want to re relay this a little bit because. Oh, my God, I. I've been having such terrible sleep. We've had the same mattress for 10 years.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And it was famously, was the one.

[Mrs. P]

Deal I didn't get. I've never been full price.

[Alex]

Not only not Only that you did.

[Mrs. P]

Not get a ruined.

[Alex]

You torpedo. Yeah. You torpedoed any chance of negotiation. We were looking. It was right before we got married. We had just bought our first house. I said, let's not even move our old mattress, and we're going to buy a new mattress. We went to a mattress store, and you guys know what it's like when you go to a mattress store. You walk in and you're like, this.

[Mrs. P]

Is clearly a front.

[Alex]

A front of some sort.

[Mrs. P]

You guys are laundering something.

[Alex]

Like, they were shocked. A person walked in.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

The guy. I'm like, I want a specific amount, Mrs. P. And I. I said, I want. This is my price range. It was a very small price range I had at the time.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then the guy was like, oh, let me show you a couple mattresses first before I show you that one. Because he wants you to know what, like, before you go lay and go, this is fine. And the first. The first mattress.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It was this pillow top mattress. Mrs. P. And I lay on it. I'm laying on it, like, trying desperately to not show that I'm comfortable. Mrs. P flops to one side. She rolls over, she flops. Those. Just give him whatever he wants.

[Mrs. P]

While laying on the bed.

[Alex]

While laying on the bed.

[Mrs. P]

Hand him your card.

[Alex]

$4,000 later. Yeah, I have this mattress. I just finally finished paying it off.

[Mrs. P]

Listen.

[Alex]

On a credit card. On my first credit card ever.

[Mrs. P]

Dollar mattress that lasted 10 years. I feel like we got our money's.

[Alex]

Worth, but it was. It was very lumpy. Free pillows, and it was falling. It came with two free pillows. You threw out yours immediately. You hated it.

[Mrs. P]

Too hard.

[Alex]

I had mine for eight years.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because I refused was the only thing. The guy threw it in. When he gave me the free pillows from this mattress store, he looked at me, goes, I got to give you something.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because every time I'm like, okay, can we take, like, maybe like, a couple hundred delivery and then give him whatever he wants? So we had this mattress forever. It was lumpy, though. I was. I was rolling into you because there was such a divot. It was all fucked up.

[Mrs. P]

I'm saying when we got offered.

[Alex]

When Brooklyn Bedding offered us, they're like, we want. We want you to have a free one so you can test it out.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I was like, there's no way they're gonna give us a mattress close to what we had.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And I looked at it. I just. I sent him like, this. Here's the. There's the number. This is the. This is the model number we want. And they're like, sure, it'll be there. I'm like, what? And then it showed up.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. In a box.

[Alex]

In a box. And it was like a smaller box. It's like a four foot boxing as. This is fucking crazy. And then it was heavy. We carried it up together and we.

[Mrs. P]

Did effort to get to the second.

[Alex]

We carried it up. Listen. We carried up a heavy thing to the second floor together.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And we didn't even fight about it. We just got in the room and then finally I took the old mattress out. I put the new. This, this ball, big tube. It looked like a ho ho.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It's all wrapped up and I cut it and I open it up and then it just went foom. And it filled out.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And I had to let it sit a day. And I slept on it. And y'all. I feel great.

[Mrs. P]

It was incredible.

[Alex]

I feel great. I feel I didn't realize how bad.

[Mrs. P]

Our old mattress had gotten until I saw. Until I saw. And I said, oh, right.

[Alex]

And it had cooling in it.

[Mrs. P]

Right.

[Alex]

And so that's why. That's. That's how we're ending the show. Is just letting you know, officially, we're podcasters.

[Mrs. P]

Where.

[Alex]

This is. This is. This. This is a shout out to them.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Before we shout out our patreons, we have.

[Mrs. P]

What's this? We have a producer.

[Alex]

We have a producer.

[Mrs. P]

Lights. We have a backdrop and we got a mattress. And I think that we're podcasters.

[Alex]

We're podcast. And you know what we haven't done?

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex]

We haven't sold out the Constitution of the United States. No, no. We haven't sold it out at all.

[Mrs. P]

Nope.

[Alex]

We haven't sold out our principles.

[Mrs. P]

Nope.

[Alex]

We are just here.

[Mrs. P]

How much money would it be for us to sell out our principles?

[Alex]

It's 12.5 million each.

[Mrs. P]

I knew he had the number.

[Alex]

12.5 million each. He always has 12.5 million. Because listen, after taxes, I've done the math on that. I can live off of. I can park that. It's enough money that I can buy. With 12.5 million each, we could each buy citizenship in separate companies, countries.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, good.

[Alex]

You can go because you can. Some of these places, it's like 2 mil. I think Irish citizenship was like, I think 3 mil.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Once you worked it out happening. I know, but I looked at it. I know I looked at it. There's a bunch of these. There's a bunch of these. I keep saying companies because it's basically how they are. You can go and you can just buy. You just have to have enough to invest. Yeah, I wouldn't. Do the Italians have, like, for a dollar, you have this villa in the middle of nowhere. I wouldn't do that.

[Mrs. P]

No, I don't want to be in the middle.

[Alex]

Well, because you got to rebuild it. No, because there's always something that's like.

[Mrs. P]

There'S going to be ghosts.

[Alex]

There's going to be ghosts. Old Italian ghosts and old Italian racists right around the corner.

[Mrs. P]

Nope.

[Alex]

They'd be like, why you have red hair? Except that's not how they said, why you haven't a red hair. I'll be like, why you a circumcised? I saw you peeing in the lawn. What?

[Mrs. P]

Okay. Why were you peeing in the lawn?

[Alex]

Because there's no indoor plumbing. It's a fucking ancient Italian hovel.

[Mrs. P]

But if you move to Italy, you know what they. What they do there?

[Alex]

What do they do?

[Mrs. P]

They smoke the cigarettes.

[Alex]

Are you telling me.

[Mrs. P]

No, I'm not. That was a joke.

[Alex]

Are you telling me.

[Mrs. P]

Absolutely not condoning smoking the cigarettes. You quit smoking.

[Alex]

I did quit smoking.

[Mrs. P]

And you're not going back, no matter what. No matter what. No matter what.

[Alex]

Imagine if I start smoking cigarettes again and then I get sent to a camp and I have to go through withdrawal symptoms in a camp. Oh, gross. You know, one of the reasons. One of the other reasons besides everything.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I've always been very glad I quit smoking. Just because of all the flights I took last year.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I'm just not having to go back and forth through airport security.

[Mrs. P]

Gross.

[Alex]

Especially now, because not only are they cutting TSA agents so the lines are getting longer, but now they're also talking about privatizing that.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, perfect.

[Alex]

So it's just going to get worse. And then private equity is going to own our airport security.

[Mrs. P]

Well, that could never. Oh, my God. Wait, did you. I tell you, Private equity bought Duke's mayonnaise. Okay, well, every time they buy something, it gets destroyed.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So they just bought Jersey Mike's.

[Alex]

Yeah. They ran Hooters on the ground.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. How. How. How do you fuck up at a business? You fuck up Hooters.

[Alex]

I don't.

[Mrs. P]

It's a business built on titties.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

And chicken wings.

[Alex]

Speaking of.

[Mrs. P]

It's impossible. How? They had to do it purposely.

[Alex]

Speaking of titties and chicken wings, we just close the show and do our shout outs.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. But also, I'm so mad now that I thought about it again.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Also, can we buy the vacant Hooters that's in the others in the other county. And we could buy it, we turn it in our own hooters.

[Alex]

What we want to call it, I don't know.

[Mrs. P]

I want to think about it. I want to make it cool.

[Alex]

You know?

[Mrs. P]

I'll tell you something. Food and boobies, they sell. And I. I can find us foobies. Foobies.

[Alex]

Foobies.

[Mrs. P]

All right.

[Alex]

Boobies.

[Mrs. P]

Food and boobies.

[Alex]

Foobies.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, guys. You what? You want somewhere to go on a Friday night?

[Alex]

Foobies.

[Mrs. P]

What's on the menu? Food and boobies. Boobies.

[Alex]

You forgot the alcohol.

[Mrs. P]

No, that's there. It's implied. It's gonna have a Cheesecake factory style menu.

[Alex]

Cheesecake factory style menu.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

About half the overhead is crazy.

[Mrs. P]

About a half. About half. But I just mean like big portions of pasta, some fried foods.

[Alex]

And boobies.

[Mrs. P]

And boobies. And alcoholic milkshakes. That was my jam back in the day.

[Alex]

And alcoholic milkshakes. Yeah, cheese cakes don't even slushies.

[Mrs. P]

No, they have alcoholic milkshakes at fucking cheesecake.

[Alex]

What's that? Just Kahlua, probably.

[Mrs. P]

I don't remember.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

From ancient Rome to where you'd like to roam. T mobile's network is there because T mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network switch. Now keep your phone and T mobile will pay it off at the $800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com keepandswitch up to 4 lines of via virtual prepaid card. 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service report in 90 plus days device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card is no cash access and expires in six months.

[Alex]

Well, it's been a couple weeks since we have done our shout outs to our new Patreon members who have joined us [e-mail] There we go. And you can join us as well. You can join our $5 team lead level, our $10 upline ambassador or our $30 fed level. That's right. If you're a fed, you got to pay.

[Mrs. P]

You got to tell us.

[Alex]

There's got to tell me if you're a cop, you got to tell us if you're. I know the rules but we have a lot of people because we didn't do any shout outs last week because we don't do shout outs during book club. So we have a lot of names we're going to get through right now.

[Mrs. P]

Let's go.

[Alex]

You ready?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

We're going to start off with chaotic feral hobbit. And after that, we have Ashley underscore laughing. Underscore at underscore. Her underscore work. Underscore desk.

[Mrs. P]

Hell, yeah. Ashley. Ashley Having a good time while getting paid.

[Alex]

Yeah. Listen, anything to get through the day. I remember when I had my day job and they got so mad because they could see the headphone going in. And then I switched to AirPods and I grew my hair out, and I just had the one the left side because the cubicle door was on the right. And then they never knew.

[Mrs. P]

Got them.

[Alex]

Got him.

[Mrs. P]

Got him.

[Alex]

After Ashley, we have Megan. Gill.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Megan.

[Alex]

After that, we have Monica.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that, we have Dan.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Dan.

[Alex]

After that, we have Savannah. Underscore the underscore sillius underscore banana.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, Savannah the silly banana.

[Alex]

Yeah. Very nice, Very nice, very nice. After that, we have Gerald Biscuit.

[Mrs. P]

And I feel like I bought a tin of Gerald biscuits.

[Alex]

Gerald. Gerald. Yeah, Gerald.

[Mrs. P]

Gerald.

[Alex]

Not Gerald.

[Mrs. P]

I said Gerald. Okay, don't start with me.

[Alex]

After that, we have Lindsay.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Lindsay.

[Alex]

After that, we had. I underscore. Did underscore four underscore shots. Underscore of underscore. Jaeger underscore bombs. Underscore. Because underscore of underscore you.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, no. And they are a bad influence on people.

[Alex]

They even put the unlaut over the A. And Jaeger.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, you're a bad influence.

[Alex]

Excellent. I just want to say. Yeah, no, we've. I've been going back and forth with Jaeger for two weeks now.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Also, I have not been able to do any Jager bombs.

[Mrs. P]

No. Because I did have a vodka cranberry.

[Alex]

I did. I did.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, you did.

[Alex]

Yesterday. Yep. Two days ago.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Finally felt well enough. And we were out.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And I had a vodka cram.

[Mrs. P]

We were talking to adults.

[Alex]

I debated about having a Jaeger bomb, but by the time we got to the area, I was like, if I do a Jager bomb now, I'm not sleeping.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And I need to sleep. And so I did my vodka crayon.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And then I ate all the shrimp. Listen, we're not gonna get into it. You know what we are gonna get into? Our next shout out. Whose name is. Give me that sweet, sweet dopamine.

[Mrs. P]

We got it. We got it for you.

[Alex]

There you go. Some sweet, sweet dopamine. After that, we have. It's Amara, not Amanda.

[Mrs. P]

Nice.

[Alex]

And there's underscores in there, but I wanted to make sure I got your name correct, because you did send me a DM that was like, I'm gonna explain to you how to pronounce this one. And thank you, because when I initially looked, I did not notice that the N was not there in the first name. Ama. Duh. After that, we have Karen Kitchens.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Karen Kitchen.

[Alex]

That is a drag name or a roller derby name or a wrestling name.

[Mrs. P]

You know what? It's a good name.

[Alex]

It's a good name. Followed by K98.

[Mrs. P]

K98.

[Alex]

That's what it says after that, Mackenzie Fulmer.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Mackenzie.

[Alex]

Then we got Britney D. Hey, Britney. Hey, Jordy.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Jordy.

[Alex]

Then we have Karina Zappa.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, hey, hon. You think she's related to.

[Alex]

I don't think she is, because I think he. I remember Zappa had a kid named Moon Unit.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, that checks out.

[Alex]

His names are much different.

[Mrs. P]

I used a friend whose first name was Moon. She went by her fourth middle name, though.

[Alex]

What's her fourth middle name? Oh, you know what? I feel like that's doxing.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

After that, we have. After Karina Zapper.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

And all caps. Sad Matt.

[Mrs. P]

Sad man.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, sad. I met. I hope we brighten your day a little bit.

[Alex]

I hope we do. I mean, I. Obviously we do enough that he has joined us here.

[Mrs. P]

We're helping with a little bit of dopamine.

[Alex]

We're trying to. We're doing it. He's here. He's a team leader. After that, we have Mandy B.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Mandy.

[Alex]

After that, we have Elves. To the Beth.

[Mrs. P]

Els. To the Beth.

[Alex]

We're almost halfway done. There's a lot of names here. Well, we have Killer Kristoff.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Killer Kristoff. That's a good name.

[Alex]

That's a great name. Killer Kristoff. After that, we have Tired Underscore Librarian. We know. No, yeah, you know, girl, we know.

[Mrs. P]

Listen, every day, fucking. We get it.

[Alex]

After that, we have Dead End Academic Underscore. Just underscore looking. Underscore 4. Underscore a dopamine underscore hit.

[Mrs. P]

Hell yeah, dude. Love that name.

[Alex]

Listen, a lot of people are in here for the dopamine.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

They want to feel that rush.

[Mrs. P]

And I haven't been a drug dealer like this in years.

[Alex]

If you want to feel that rush, join us. Pearl Mania500.net you can join people like Kate Otwell. Hey, on after that, we have Bad Raccoon Apparel. Underscore makes Underscore shirts. Underscore two Underscore Piss. Underscore off. Underscore Republicans. That's right. Bad Raccoon Apparel I love it. You love it?

[Mrs. P]

I'm googling it right now.

[Alex]

Googling it right now. Take a look. Because we just got hit with an ad and didn't even see it coming.

[Mrs. P]

Love that.

[Alex]

That's right. Uppercut ad.

[Mrs. P]

Bad raccoon apparel. Got it.

[Alex]

You know, we have. We got people like Zach. We got factor. We have Brooklyn betting. They're paying a lot of money. Bad raccoon apparel. They know.

[Mrs. P]

They got. They got insider information.

[Alex]

I mean, let me take a look here.

[Mrs. P]

I like that. It says, I love we're broke and don't have one. Got it.

[Alex]

I like that. And let me tell you, bad raccoon. Good on you. $5 team lead. I see you. You could have gone with a $30 fed. No, I'm going to add a sponsor tier in here. Oh, add an official sponsor, corporate sponsor. Oh, yeah, he got pulled up over here. There we go. Those are the looking shirts.

[Mrs. P]

Those good looking shirts.

[Alex]

And they got some bad raccoons on it. All right, up next, okay, we have Joseph Vasquez.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that we have Kalon K. I. I'm gonna. I'm going on. I nailed that one. After that we have Rock Stash.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Rock Stash.

[Alex]

Then we got Nick minus.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hun.

[Alex]

Then we have the underscore Cali. Underscore. Mr. Underscore. Ampersand. Mrs. P. That means we come with guac.

[Mrs. P]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Alex]

Yeah. Hey, hon, that's pretty cool. After that we have Emory Murphy.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that we have Ms._B._ from underscore G. Nice. After that we have. You're doing a great job.

[Mrs. P]

Thank you. We try really hard. We put a lot of effort into it, so I appreciate that.

[Alex]

And honestly, I really need to hear that. Sometimes when I. Right before once a week when we're doing the shout outs, I go through the names and I go through all the messages to make sure. I try to time them together because I want to make sure that I don't. You know, some people don't want to shout out. Some people have a different name. They don't know how to change it. And I just do want to say thank you for all the messages and for names like this that just tell us we're doing good. Because sometimes I'll tell you something, sometimes Mr. P gets a little bit too deep in the analytics and he's like, why do they hate me?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Even though there's so many of you listening and we're doing so well, there's still Google and YouTube have created a box that makes me mad and sad. After. You're doing a great job. We have. It's Mrs. P's fault. I casually make air horn sound effects with my mouth. There we go. After that we have Mechu Lovely.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that we have Nicholas Wolfwood.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hun.

[Alex]

We still have so many more names. Nicholas Wolfwood, though. Great name. Yeah, that's a cool, great name.

[Mrs. P]

Honestly, name of a cool character in.

[Alex]

A book, that's a character in a book that you would read.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then tell me about.

[Mrs. P]

Absolutely.

[Alex]

Go write your life story, Nicholas Wolfwood. Go out there. Go do it. After that we have Ben Chichester. Hey, Hud, honestly, you need to meet Nicholas Wolfwood. Yeah, I need to hang out together.

[Mrs. P]

Both of those characters I'd read in a book.

[Alex]

After that we have Envy.

[Mrs. P]

Envy, yeah.

[Alex]

E N V E E. After that we have Spooky Bog witch. Hexing the government for funsies.

[Mrs. P]

Love that. That's a good, good hobby.

[Alex]

That's a great name.

[Mrs. P]

I love a bog witch.

[Alex]

You love a spooky.

[Mrs. P]

I love a new ki. Spook.

[Alex]

I love a Hexing the government.

[Mrs. P]

I love hexing the government.

[Alex]

You know what your favorite is?

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex]

Funsies. After that we have Morgan Christ. Hey, hon, that's a good one to mix together.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Followed by Morgan Christ. I am the flamingo queen.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon, you know what I like? People that know what the fuck they're saying about themselves, that know who they are. Stand on business with one leg.

[Alex]

I'm the flamingo queen. After that we have Meadow.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Meadow.

[Alex]

These are. This is really putting a lot together. After that we have Mrs.

[Mrs. P]

Uh huh.

[Alex]

Underscore P. Okay. Underscore O's. Oh, no, underscore us. Oh, underscore nothing. Oh, Mrs. P O says nothing. Oh yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Dude, I thought I was about to have to do some big heavy lifting.

[Alex]

Nope, you owe us nothing. After that we have Victrona.

[Mrs. P]

Victrona.

[Alex]

Yep. After that we have Toasty Lesbian.

[Mrs. P]

I want to tell you something. Every lesbian I know.

[Alex]

Toasty, Toasty.

[Mrs. P]

They love a blanket.

[Alex]

I want to know a warm sweater.

[Mrs. P]

I want to know if this house set to 72.

[Alex]

I want to know if this means that you're wearing flannel or smoking a little weed or maybe having a little nip.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. What? I'm just saying, when it comes to comfort and cuddles, the girls know that's true.

[Alex]

After Toasty lesbian we have Upsetti Paschetti.

[Mrs. P]

Upsetti.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, we'd be feeling that sometimes. Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that we have Fed Underscore four. Underscore now.

[Mrs. P]

Fed for now.

[Alex]

Fed for now.

[Mrs. P]

Got it.

[Alex]

And thank you for the message. And I do see that you are also.

[Mrs. P]

I hope you have a warrant to be here.

[Alex]

They do.

[Mrs. P]

Your warrant.

[Alex]

Well, they do. It's a 30$. Yeah, they did. They signed up at the 30. Thank you so much for joining. Thank you. After that, we have Liz Mack.

[Mrs. P]

Liz. Mac. Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that, we have Mickey. Underscore. Pronounced just like the mouse, but without the capitalism. Whoa.

[Mrs. P]

All right, Mickey. Mickey's got moxie.

[Alex]

Yep. And finally we have our last patreon of the day ready of this mega list, huh? Heather.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Heather.

[Alex]

Hey, Heather.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Heather. Heather is one of the best movies of all time.

[Alex]

You Heather's.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah. Change my brain chemistry when I was young for sure.

[Alex]

You know, I actually never seen it.

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex]

I've never actually seen Heather's. I only know about Heather's because remember VH1. I love the 80s. Yeah, they talked about it and they made it like this big pivotal movie. But it wasn't a movie that got replayed on like VH1 or HBO. So it just wasn't in the mix in that sort of way.

[Mrs. P]

Crazy.

[Alex]

I also didn't have older aunts who grew up in the 80s who treated me like my own sister.

[Mrs. P]

Well, they mostly treated me like a little doll a lot of the times.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

One time they gave me a perm. It was a whole thing.

[Alex]

Okay, so with that, guys, I want you all to get in the comments and let us know what do you want to hear in future episodes? Do you want to hear me do a book club about Stranger in a Strange Land? A book that I love, that I will reread. Did you like the format of this episode? What are some other things, topics and others that you want to hear us cover? Do you want us to go more back into a deep dive? We're trying out. We're experimenting right now. You know, we have a third here. We're trying new things. No. So everybody, I want everybody to get in the comments. Your comment that you do what we do. Definitely want you to leave for making it all the way. The episode. End of the episode is. Good job, Mr. Third.

[Mrs. P]

Good job, Mr. Third.

[Alex]

Thank you, guys. Thank you to all our patreons. Join [e-mail] and have yourself a good one and stay safe out there because the government is reading the newspapers. Frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs.

[Mrs. P]

Open it.

[Alex]

Too many tabs. Remember to smile.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

From ancient Rome to where you'd like to roam, T Mobile's network is there because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network. Switch now. Keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off up to $800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com keepandswitch up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card. Last 15 days qualified unlock device, credit service port in 90 days device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required Card is no cash access and expires in six months.

[Ritual Advertiser]

Big shout out to you for making it through the hectic holiday season this new year. Get clean quality pregnancy nutrient support off your to do list, including Ritual's best selling essential prenatal multivitamin design with 12 traceable key ingredients to support a healthy pregnancy. With big changes coming up, take the small steps now and start today with 30% off a three month [e-mail] podcast these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

[Alex]

Geico's Motorcycle expertise Means I'm covered by people who know bikes like I do. I'm happy as a clam. No conclusive scientific research has shown clams can experience happiness. It just meant that I feel really good about my coverage. I mean, even if you took the climb out for the best day ever, visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're insured by specialists, and sharing a strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy and your strawberry cone would taste sort of clammy. Geico's motorcycle specialists who know bikes like you do, assume no liability for clammy ice cream cones. Geico expertise for your motorcycle.