John Brown: Colder Than ICE | Too Many Tabs 3.10

Summary

Podcast Summary: John Brown: Colder Than ICE | Too Many Tabs 3.10

Podcast Information:

• Title: Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500
• Host: Pearlmania500 (Husband and Wife Duo)
• Episode: John Brown: Colder Than ICE | Too Many Tabs 3.10
• Release Date: March 2, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500, hosts Mr. and Mrs. Pearl Mania delve into the life and legacy of John Brown, a pivotal figure in the fight against slavery in the United States. The conversation intertwines historical analysis with the hosts’ characteristic humor, providing both educational insights and entertaining banter.

Background on John Brown

Mr. Pearl Mania introduces John Brown as a revolutionary figure who perceived a stark contrast between the ideals articulated in foundational American documents, such as the Declaration of Independence, and the oppressive realities of slavery.

Mr. Pearl Mania [00:30]: "John Brown was a man living at a time where he saw oppression reigning across the United States of America. And he looked at the promises that were laid out in the Declaration of Independence and other documents and said, hey, what's being said here doesn't seem to match what's happening here on the ground."

Early Life and Influences

Mrs. Pearl Mania provides a detailed account of John Brown’s upbringing, highlighting the significant influence of his father, Owen Brown, a staunch abolitionist.

Mrs. Pearl Mania [11:00]: "John Brown's father was named Owen Brown. He was a wealthy cattle farmer in Hudson, Ohio, who founded the Western Reserve Anti-Slavery Society and was a key figure in the Underground Railroad."

Mr. Pearl Mania adds personal anecdotes about his own familiarity with John Brown, emphasizing his connection through historical education and visits to historical sites like Harper's Ferry.

Mr. Pearl Mania [09:29]: "No, I just mean, like, in general, like, I'm a sheep expert."

Anti-Slavery Activism

The hosts explore John Brown’s transition from a community leader to a militant abolitionist. They discuss his establishment of the League of Gileadites, an anti-slavery militia aimed at protecting escaped slaves from slave catchers.

Mrs. Pearl Mania [28:03]: "The League of Gileadites was established as an anti-slavery militia with the goal of self-defense against slave catchers."

Mr. Pearl Mania provides a modern analogy to illustrate the severity of the situation during Brown’s time.

Mr. Pearl Mania [29:37]: "You keep saying canvas Kansas. I apologize."

Conflict in Kansas

The episode delves into the violent confrontations in Kansas, known as Bleeding Kansas, where John Brown and his followers actively opposed pro-slavery forces.

Mrs. Pearl Mania [31:36]: "On May 21st and 22nd in 1856, a group of pro-slavery men attacked the free state town of Lawrence. Two days later, John Brown and his sons attacked the settlement of Osawatomie, killing five pro-slavery men."

Mr. Pearl Mania [29:34]: "So what was happening is people were getting to the north and slave catchers were coming to the north and catching people and bringing them back and then dragging them back to the South. And so what you're saying is John Brown and his people stood around with guns and was like, 'you do that shit, we fucking murder you.'"

Harper's Ferry Raid

A significant portion of the podcast focuses on the Harper's Ferry Raid, John Brown's attempt to initiate an armed slave revolt by seizing the federal armory.

Mrs. Pearl Mania [38:29]: "John Brown comes up with a plan for Harper's Ferry, which is in Virginia. There's a United States Armory there, and he wants to break into the armory, seize the weapons, and then free the slaves in that area."

Mr. Pearl Mania [39:12]: "John Brown believes that when he gets to the slaves, they will join in fighting for their freedom."

Trial and Execution

The hosts recount John Brown's capture, swift trial, and subsequent execution, emphasizing his unwavering commitment to the abolitionist cause.

Mrs. Pearl Mania [45:03]: "John Brown was found guilty of treason, conspiring, advising slaves and other rebels, and murder in the first degree. He was sentenced to death and hanged on December 16th."

Mr. Pearl Mania [45:46]: "Morally, though, it's completely fine."

Legacy and Impact

Mr. and Mrs. Pearl Mania discuss the enduring legacy of John Brown, noting how his actions intensified the abolitionist movement and heightened tensions leading up to the Civil War.

Mr. Pearl Mania [46:21]: "John Brown is like the Elvis of abolitionists."

Mrs. Pearl Mania [48:56]: "Spirit of John Brown in his story is incredibly important."

Notable Quotes

Throughout the episode, the hosts interject with memorable quotes that encapsulate John Brown’s fervor and the gravity of his actions:

• Mr. Pearl Mania [39:40]: "I can’t say it. I cannot. And John Brown’s like, I can fucking say it."

• Mrs. Pearl Mania [45:09]: "I have only one death to die. I will fight, die fighting for this cause."

• Mrs. Pearl Mania [45:11]: "Let it be done."

Conclusion

The episode concludes with the hosts reflecting on John Brown’s role in American history, advocating for active community involvement over online arguments. They encourage listeners to engage in meaningful actions that foster societal improvement, drawing parallels between Brown’s activism and contemporary efforts against racism and oppression.

Mrs. Pearl Mania [49:43]: "I want us all to argue less in the comments so we can use that energy to make a difference in real life."

Mr. Pearl Mania [47:12]: "Some people would be like, oh, but what about sponsors? ... We're fired up on a good app."

Summary

Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 offers a compelling exploration of John Brown’s life, blending historical facts with the hosts’ lively interaction. By highlighting Brown’s multifaceted roles—from community leader to militant abolitionist—the podcast provides listeners with a nuanced understanding of his impact on American history. Notable quotes and engaging discussions ensure that both history enthusiasts and casual listeners find value and entertainment in this episode.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Mr. Pearl Mania [00:30]: "John Brown was a man living at a time where he saw oppression reigning across the United States of America..."

• Mrs. Pearl Mania [28:03]: "The League of Gileadites was established as an anti-slavery militia with the goal of self-defense against slave catchers."

• Mrs. Pearl Mania [45:09]: "I have only one death to die. I will fight, die fighting for this cause."

• Mr. Pearl Mania [46:21]: "John Brown is like the Elvis of abolitionists."

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Conclusion: This episode serves as both an informative history lesson and an entertaining dialogue between the hosts. By focusing on John Brown’s life and legacy, Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 effectively engages listeners, encouraging them to reflect on historical activism and its relevance today.

Transcript

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[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Welcome to Too Many Tabs. This is a podcast about many things, because on the Internet, there are many tabs. Today we are opening a tab about a revolutionary figure known as John Brown. John Brown was a man living at a time where he saw oppression reigning across the United States of America. And he looked at the promises that were laid out in the Declaration of Independence and other documents and said, hey, what's being said here doesn't seem to match what's happening here on the ground. And after he heard some voices in his head, he decided to make a change. And we're gonna talk about that change and the actions that he decided to do. On today's episode of Too many tabs, too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers, and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs. Open it too many times. Remember to smile.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Let's go. We're here.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We're here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You have to say what this podcast is.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

What do you mean?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You didn't say the part where we're a husband and wife duo that sit across from each other at a table.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

At a desk.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

At a desk.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then one of us does research statistically. Usually me.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then I explain a thing to you that I did a lot of research on.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then. And then that's the episode of you listening to me try to explain something. Something to you.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But you make it funny and silly.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's the podcast.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That is the podcast. Yeah, but I mean, like, do people know that already? I feel like. Listen, I've been playing around with the intro a little bit. I don't know if the listeners have noticed. I've been playing around.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I've noticed.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You have noticed.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I've noticed that. I've noticed some incredible graphic design.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Thank you.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I've noticed some great editing.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Wonderful. Thank You.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I've noticed really cool YouTube videos.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Thank you so much. You've also maybe noticed longer and longer form content.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's right.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Dropped all across Perlmania500.net Also, I like.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Your call to actions.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Thank you so much. My call to actions Today are gonna be reminding everybody that if you've heard, if you're listening to this episode and you get to the end, you go, hey, I really wish there was more audio forward content of Mrs. Pearl Mania and Mr. Pearl Mania, you know, having communications with each other. Well, do we have news for you. There are two Patreon exclusive podcasts that dropped this week that are over on our [e-mail] or patreon.com Pearlmania500 and what are those two podcasts? Number one's the Warmup, which is our weekly pod that we record before we start. Because listen, you think we sit down in this mood already happy, smiling ear to ear, remembering to smile, remembering how to talk to each other as two 40 year olds who've been raising a one year old who just learned how to walk and also knows how to punch. No, no, no, that doesn't happen naturally. No, no. We sit down for about 15 to 30 minutes and we record another podcast called the Warmup where we talk about our week and also about like all the different things happening in the news and the world around us.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Also, do you think that we're raising him because I feel like he's the boss.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Don't, don't you start. He's not a rescue, okay? He's not a rescue puppy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying he's the manager of the household.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, no, but we're still raising him.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Are we?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, we're still parenting him.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I guess you're right.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay. It's like, I'm like, hey, don't put a fork in that electric socket. And then he goes, shut up. And he punches me directly in the face.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

See, I'm saying he's your boss. That's. That's boss behavior. Yeah, I had a boss punch me in the face.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No, no, he still doesn't get to put the fork in the electric socket, though he wants to. What he wants to do.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Where did he get a fork?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Listen, okay, sometimes I get food poisoning and I leave implements around the house, which we talk about on the episode the Warmup. But the other episode that just dropped is our, I want to say award winning, but they don't give out awards for this but vibing out with the food moron.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Also known as vibing out with the food Idiot.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Whichever one works.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Also just called Food Idiot. It's a podcast where you explain a simple to make meal to me, a person who does not know how to cook.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And I ask all the stupid questions that people would ask in that situation. We've done episodes about deviled eggs before. We've done episodes about a quick soup.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Cookies.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Cookies. And today's at this, this week's episode for the end of February, for the month. That episode was about white people tacos, also known as gringo tacos.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Delicious.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

How to make the hard shell, how to brown the beef, how to make your own spices, what type of bagged lettuce to use, what type of bag cheese to use, all the different things that you can get at the grocery store. And how to prepar. That's on this week's episode. And listen for all you guys out there. We're gonna wrap up all the. The opening here and get right into John Brown and talk a lot about a man who definitely, definitely killed a lot of slave owners. Yeah, we're gonna get into that in a second. Before we get started, if you are listening to us on Spotify, if you're listening to us on Apple Podcasts or any of the other podcasting apps, please rate us five stars or give us a rating.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Like and subscribe.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Like and subscribe on YouTube. Comment all those different things.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's a call to action, baby. You nailed it.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I nailed them. And that's the thing is people, People are like, oh, what do I have to.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You know, how can I support this awesome podcast?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And they're awesome YouTube videos.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And they're awesome tiki talkies. And Instagram is like. And subscribe.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Follow, listen to all the silly stuff we do.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. And the final thing I'm going to tell you guys is go. As we've been saying repeatedly, please keep reaching out to your congress people and your senators and when they're having town halls, go to them, show up, and then watch the speaker of the House, United States, accuse you of being a paid protester, who is an actual. We're getting paid, apparently. But anyway, that's. That's our call to actions this week. And we are now going to get started with this incredible podcast that Mrs. P. Had some assistance from Sadpage to put this all together. So are you ready, Mrs. P? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay, listeners, are you ready? Let's go.

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[Chris Gethard]

Hi, I'm Chris Gethard and I'm very excited to tell you about Beautiful Anonymous, a podcast where I talk to random people on the phone. I tweet out a phone number, thousands of people try to call you talk to one of them, they stay anonymous. I can't hang up. That's all the rules. I never know what's going to happen. We get serious ones. I've talked with meth dealers on their way to prison. I've talked to people who survived mass shootings. Crazy funny ones. I talked to a guy with a goose laugh. Somebody who dresses up as a pirate on the weekends. I never know what's gonna happen. It's a great show. Subscribe today. Beautiful Anonymous.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Baron, you ready to go?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm ready to rock. Tell me about John Brown.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm gonna tell you. Okay, first we have to start at the very beginning.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Which is how I ended up here with my episode of Job Round.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, sure.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Which is I was on threads.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Threads.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Threads.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

The.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The knockoff Twitter.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, yeah, Instagram's knockoff Twitter.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And I was on there scrolling through.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You do like fighting people on threads.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I. Here's the thing, I fight certain battles, but I, I was, I saw posts and then I went to the comments, I was like, what, are people responding?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And I just saw people fighting and arguing about with an idiot. And the thing is, I don't, I don't often argue with idiots. I only to waste my time. You know that whole like pigeons knock all the chessboard and like the pigs like being in type of thing, you know, that whole thing. So like I don't like to argue with idiots. But I was looking at this post and the people arguing with them and what they were saying was incredibly racist. And I looked at it and I said, why?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

The original poster.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The original poster, okay. And I was like, why the fuck are you arguing with people that John Brown would have shot? And then I said to myself, I'm going to write, don't argue with people John Brown would have shot. And then I said, wait a minute. That sounds like a threat out of context. So I didn't post it on the Internet.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But it got me to thinking, is that I don't think enough people know about John Brown.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm going to go. I guarantee you enough people don't know about John Brown.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And so what I did was I reached out to my favorite librarian.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Who happens to be in Virginia, where some of the most famous parts of John Brown's story happened.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And I said, can you help me do research on John Brown so I can get the historically accurate information, not just what I know? And so we've compiled together what I think is incredible information. Now here's a little spoiler. You know a lot about John Brown.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I do. I do know a lot, because, number one, I had a history teacher in fifth grade who was very, very into the Civil War and very into the things that ran up to the Civil War, mainly because she really liked drawing out battle plans.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

She really liked. On the whiteboard. She really loved drawing out Civil War battle plans. It was her. That was her thing.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's a weird thing for a teacher to be into, but fifth grade. Let's go. The second thing is I've been to Harper's Ferry a few times.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We've been there together.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We've been there together. Harper's Ferry is a beautiful piece of land. It's in a really interesting corner. Yep. And I really, really liked it. And John Brown is brought up a lot during. Especially during the civil rights movement. And he's referenced a lot in some folk songs and much other things. So I just really. He's always been an interesting character.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. He's. Great beard.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Amazing beard.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Incredible beard.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Which is wild because most of the pictures we have of him, he's not bearded. We have a lot of, like, paintings, and there's a lot of drawings of him with this massive beard and this crate. He has. I. What I. What I like to describe, he has on top of his head, Lyle Lovett hair.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

ZZ Top beard.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And so, like, that combination of the two is insane. But he was. Is, you know, just such, like, a weirdly respected man. And then you. Then you hear what he did and you're like, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Huh?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I don't. I don't think we'd be. I don't think we'd let him be this respected. And then Luigi showed up, and I was like, I guess we're. I guess we're pro John Brown again.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We're back.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Luigi Mangione.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Let's start. Let's not jump to the end.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

All right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Let's start at the beginning.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, let's start at the beginning.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

John Brown's father was name was Owen Brown.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He was a wealthy cattle farmer in Hudson, Ohio.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Who. But. And he was the founder of the Western Reserve Anti Slavery Society, among other organizations. He ran. He gave speeches advocating for the immediate abolition of slavery. He was also an organizer and station master on the Underground Railroad in Hudson, Ohio. Okay, so this is the man that raised John Brown.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. A dude who rocks.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Guy who rocks is like slavery bad.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Slavery.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Not only is slavery bad, but I'm gonna help people escape slavery.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Obviously he passed these beliefs down to his son John, who was born in 1800. John Brown credits his dedication to abolition to his experience as a 12 year old boy witnessing a young black boy get beaten with a shovel because he was an enslaved person. However, given his father's beliefs and actions, it's, you know, there was probably a concept in there that he already understood.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This was very, very wrong.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. But I think, I think his understand it. I think much like in 2020 with George Floyd, like we've all understood that like police brutality is bad and systemic racism is bad. It's. Once you see a certain, like it actually happens, there's the, there's the, there's the intellectual. Yeah. Bad. And then there's the visceral of like feeling of being in that moment.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And so I'm sure standing however close he was to witnessing that in reality instead of just reading about it in a book.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Or just talk about the dinner table. It's such a different feeling.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Absolutely. In 1825, John Brown moved to Richmond Township in Pennsylvania. Penns, baby.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And built a barn, a tannery. And in his barn, he had a secret room to hide escaping enslaved people.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

What year was this again?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

18. 25.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

18. So he's 25 years old.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, so 25, he moves to pa. Yep. And he's already. And now he's like, I'm gonna do my own stop in the Underground Railroad.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Absolutely.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's that. All right. Cool.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He helped hide and transport escaped enslaved people. It's estimated that he helped over 2,500 enslaved people reach Canada, according to the Pennsylvania Department of Community and Economic development.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's great. 2, 000 people.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

2,500 to get them to Canada. Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He also worked to recruit other Underground railroad station masters as well. So he Helped get people to start their own part of the Underground Railroad.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Almost like branch their own franchise.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly. He was franchising.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, franchising the Underground Railroad.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He's like, you want to buy a barn?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then you buy a barn, and this is what you do. That's how you do it.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Gotcha.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. And then, like, well, you have to use this recipe for the donuts, though. Did John Brown also maybe potentially was super into getting ADHD hyper fixated on stuff and had a lot of hobbies and did a lot of stuff jobs.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, all right, so real quick. I've been thinking about this a lot because there's a. I was always. I was watching the other day.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I don't know.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, no, we've been watching that show, that set in the 1820s.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, the taboo. Taboo, yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It's a. It's Ed. Not Ed Hardy, right?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, not Ed Hardy.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Tom Hardy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a. It's a British show that's set back in, like, the 1820s around the end, where it's 1810s, around the end of the War of 1812. And it's about Tom Hardy in London and all this different stuff. But he gets a lot done in a day.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And I'm like, how is he getting so much done in a day? I asked as I was playing Power Washing Simulator and looking at Twitter.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hate that Power Wash Simulator. If I walk in and see playing that power simulator one more time.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay. Mrs. P is very mad.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Switch into the trash.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

All right. Okay. So I got the Power Wash Simulator game because I want. I heard there's a Warhammer 40K download, and because I thought it was funny that you could power wash a tank in Warhammer. And I did.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And then you're like, what are you doing? You're playing Balatra. I was like, no, I'm playing Power Wash Simulator later. And then you said you could power wash the house.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I know. I was like, if you want to clean, there are dishes, there's a garage. It's not about take out the trash.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It's not about cleaning, sweep the floors. It's about scraping.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

If you're. You're playing a video game to clean, but you're not cleaning. If you want to clean, I got things you could clean. And I need you to know that if you're sitting on the couch for 40 minutes playing a game about cleaning, but you're not helping me clean, I don't think any judge or jury is gonna convict me.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So my point being is that back in the day, you used to have these people who would get, like, obsessed about, like, a type of beetle.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, right.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And then they'd run around, they'd write all these books about Beatles. They would journal about Beatles or the stars. Every night they had to spend six hours staring at the stars and doing these different things. Now we have them play live service video games. So, like, they had to play World of Warcraft or they have to go on their phone. And every two hours you need to log in, make sure you do your Jewel game, because that's where the unlock is, and all this different stuff. So instead, we've gamified all of that time and information and what we care about. And when it comes to our activism, we put it all on the Internet and we need to show it and get little rewards and little treats for it instead of actually, you know, saving 2,000 people and taking them to Canada.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So here's some other stuff he did because he was busy.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He was fucking doing the thing. All right? Number one, he helped survey roads to build better roads for his community. He erected a school in his hometown and was the first teacher at the school. Okay, okay. He established a post office in Randolph Township, Pennsylvania, and then was named the postmaster of the post office by President John Quincy Adams and then reappointed by President Andrew Jackson.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's crazy, because those two hated each other.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, yeah. They're like, no, you're super good at being a postmaster.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Well, I also might have been one. Okay. That might have been one of those situations of you're here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. I feel like he's running the post office.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And the school.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, again. Again, I want to point out something. Video games, television, porn, the Internet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

YouTube. None of these things exist. God, there's a lot of hours.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So what you're telling me is that you just need to turn off your phone once in a while to get some shit done.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It's literally what I did yesterday. That's literally what I did yesterday. I literally did that. I turned off my phone, I took the baby, and we went. And we went to places where we go to. We went to the library, went to the post office, which all these different things that John Brown would have had to establish back in the day because he was living in the edge of the wilderness. Because the places you're describing are not built because they're too busy walking across the land that was stolen from people.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So he declined to serve in a local militia and was forced to pay a fine. A government militia. Okay. He Also operated an interstate cattle and leather business.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

In 1829.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

This is in four years. That's incredible. That's incredible.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

In 1829, some white families asked John Brown to help them drive off Native Americans who hunted annually in the area. He called it a mean act, declined, and said, quote, I would sooner take my gun and help drive you out of the country.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Fuck yeah, dude. All right. I was about to start doing a whole thing about no one's illegal on stolen land. And then John Brown was like, motherfucker, you know how crazy you. Okay. You know how fucking based you have to be in 1829 to be like, nah, I'm on the native side. That's fucking crazy. Like, that is. That's wild.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He then became a bank director.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Hold on, Wait.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm still not.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm still not. Okay. I'm still not over John Brown picking up a gun and be like, well, let's talk about a land acknowledgement.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Then he became a bank director.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Director of a bank.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He then studied up and became an expert in fine sheep and wool and managed flocks to sell fine wool products.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm. Okay. I'm going to speak out of turn here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I feel like becoming an expert in sheep.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. No, I'm.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No, no, it doesn't. It's not. I'm not doing that joke. I just mean, like, in general, like, I'm a sheep expert.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well, there's so many different types of wool. There's cashmere wool. There's like, the type of Irish wool. There's different ways to treat the wool after it's been removed from the sheep to give it different textures. And like when we did the fucking nursing rhyme episode, Remember how we talked about baba black sheep and how different colors of wool is important because you have to know how to dye it specifically.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So being an expert in wool in this time, I'm just important.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm just saying that feels more like I took a course.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He didn't. He probably had to go apprentice or learn.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No, I know, but saying like, yeah, equivalent. It's like, I became an expert. How long that take? About six weeks. Like, that doesn't feel like I want.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You to stop besmirching.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm not besmirching. I'm just saying I have a list of all the different stuff you're going with. He became an expert in sheep.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I want to tell you what he did. So we also said, okay, so he has interstate cattle business. He owns a tannery and a barn. He's A teacher, a postmaster, a bank director. And then at his farm, he started allowing, or not allowing, inviting people to come to his farm to, quote, provide guidance and assistance to black people who were attempting to establish farms in their area. Okay, so he started teaching them how.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

To do a farm school.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly. So he went to learn how to do sheep so he could teach other people how to do wool.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, all right, all right, all right. Okay, okay, okay. Sorry, I spoke too soon.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

My apologies. My apologies, if you will.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then the last thing I have here. He did start breeding horses, but he stopped breeding horses because he learned that people were using his horses as racehorses. And he hated betting and gambling as much as he hated profanity.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

He didn't like cursing.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We're so close, bud. Hating gambling. I was right. Right there. I was like, no, I agree with you.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He's like, DraftKings sucks.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. You guys have no idea how often We've turned down DraftKings subscriptions and members like that sponsorship. We're just like, no, get out of here. Listen, some of the others were like, oh, nail.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

But when it comes to DraftKings or whatever, I can't remember the other one was called, but there'd be. I know. They're all the same to me. But that's why we want to thank you guys once again for joining [e-mail] okay, so.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So, yeah, that's. Those are the main. Cool. All the other things he was doing.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So in this whole story, these are all the other things he's doing.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Isn't that. That's a lot.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's a lot of stuff.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

There's a lot of things.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's a lot of things.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hobbies. He's really out here.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And the whole time, meanwhile. The whole time, as he's doing all this different stuff, the number one we should put a pin in is he is getting 2,000 people to Canada.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes. 2,000 enslaved people. He's helping them escape the Canada.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I still haven't folded my laundry.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, my laundry.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I. I did my laundry. Yeah, it's in the basket. It's right. You can see it if you look at the YouTube, how wrinkled this shirt is.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Didn't. Didn't fold it quick enough. Got the wrinkles.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You know what?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You want to take a break? This was a lot of work.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

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[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Let's go.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Let's go. So he did a lot. He did a lot.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

All right, now it's 1837.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

1837. 37 years old, okay? Three years younger than me.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

A man named Elijah Parish Lovejoy was murdered in Illinois for printing an abolitionist newspaper.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And John Brown was fucking pissed off about this and became even more militant in his beliefs and his behaviors. Brown publicly vowed after this incident, quote here before God in the presence of these witnesses. From this time, I consecrate my life to the destruction of slavery. Brown objected to black congregates being relegated to the balcony of his church. So he said that at the church in front of everybody because he was, you know, pissed about what happened to Mr. Lovejoy.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But also because of how congregates were being treated in his own church.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

John Brown did have three sons. John, Jason, and Owen. And they were all expelled from the church, including John, because they had a black man come sit in one of their. In their pew with them.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And the deacons of the church tried to persuade him to concede and admit to his error.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Is this still in Pennsylvania?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, I think he is in Massachusetts.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I think he might be in Massachusetts.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He moves around a lot. So he is in this church and he has this man Sit with him. And the. Everybody in church is like, you have to apologize. You have to admit you're wrong. And he's like, I'm absolutely not going to do it ever. And so they're like, we're expelling you from the church.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm absolutely not gonna do that ever. I'm John Brown. It's like. That's like the way you said, I'm absolutely not gonna.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, no.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

How about this? No. It's like, I could just. But meanwhile, he's like, I'm gonna dedicate my life to the eradication of slavery. But in the. In. In the Mrs. P's version, it's just. Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

His wife and various family members joined the Wesley Methodist. But John Brown never connected himself with any church ever again after that.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

He was like, no, no.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

If anything, these churches.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

If anything, I'm inc. Yep. I'm an independent network, charismatic Christian.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

In 1847, Frederick Douglass met John Brown for the first time in Springfield, Massachusetts.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Of the meeting, Frederick Douglass stated, quote, though a white gentleman, Brown is in sympathy with a black man and is deeply interested in our cause, as though his own soul has been pierced with the iron of slavery. It was at this meeting that John Brown first outlined his plan to Douglass to lead a war to free slaves.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, wow.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That was 1847.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Could you imagine being Frederick Douglass, a man who has been. Who was sold into slavery himself, who had to escape, who has been traveling the country and trying to build a coalition of people to overturn slavery? And then you walk into a room, and John Brown is like, we should kill them. We should murder them all. And he's just like, oh, buddy. Oh, I cannot say that. I cannot. And John Brown's like, I can fucking say it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

John Brown.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I can fucking say it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Ally.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Ally.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay. 1851.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, my God. This dude's jumping around so much. All right, so he's 47 years old, he meets Frederick Douglass, and he's like.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm gonna start a war against slavery.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. I mean, I'm for it, but holy shit, dude.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

In 1851, John Brown established the League of Gileadites, which is such a hard name for me. It's Gileadites. Gileadites.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Gotcha. Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

An organization that works to protect escape slaves from slave catchers.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's so crazy that they're the Gileadites when, like, Gilead is the name used in the Handmaid's Tale.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

For America, I'm guessing. Is there some sort of, like, religious.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, Gilead is, like, a A perfect place, right?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, is that what it is?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I think it's like. Like the.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It's like Utopia.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes. I think Gilead is like. That's a term.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, got it, got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The League of Gileadites said a league. The League was established as an anti slavery militia with its goal of self defense against slave catchers in the eyes of the federal government and federal law as constituted with the enactment of the Fugitive Slaves Act. This organization clearly promoted illegal civil armed resistance.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So this was an illegal militia against the government for the federal government.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

From Brown's founding of the League onward, not one person was ever taken back into slavery from Springfield, Massachusetts. So the day he invented it, nobody ever was ever taken back from Mass.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Got it. Yeah. Because people. So what was happening is people were getting to the north and then slave catchers were coming to the north and then catching people and bringing them back and then dragging them back to the South. And so what you're saying is John Brown and his people stood around with guns and was like, you do that shit, we fucking murder you.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes, that's exactly violence.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

In 1856.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So what you're telling me real quick, so you're telling me is so these slave catchers who are cold as ice showed up into a neighborhood, maybe went door to door checking on people's papers, and then when they were like, no, we're going to take you out of here because we're as cold as ice. John Brown is people like, no, no, we'll kill you.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

In 1851.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Back then, historically, that's what people did.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This is a history podcast.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

This is a comedy history podcast.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

In 1856, Kansas was an emerging state. We didn't even have a full Kansas yet.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, God, life was so much better and light was so. I'm gonna tell y'all, life was so alive, a lot sweeter before Kansas.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Anyway, canvas had yet to proclaim itself either pro slavery or free of slavery.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, yeah, Bloody Kansas.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep. So John Brown and two of his sons went to canvas to persuade people to vote against slavery.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Went to Kansas.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You keep saying canvas Kansas.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I apologize.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It's okay. So, okay. And this is part of what's called known as Bloody Kansas. But yeah, Kansas was allowed to choose. They're going to have a vote. And it was. That was how it was all being set up. It was like a weird campaign.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Political campaign, because nobody could agree on which side it should be. When they were like, when they came up with this one specific Compromise.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Because slavery was such a complicated issue in white people's minds that they were like, well what if we like doing half slavery? And they kept being like, well we'll be a little bit pregnant. You know, what if what? Some of them are semi fired anyway. The, that was kind of where this, this kind of stuck. So they're like, oh, we'll just make this a local issue. We'll leave this up to the state.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Leave it up to the states because.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We know famously when things are left up to the state, everything works out fine and everybody's happy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So John Brown and his sons go to Kansas.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

To influence. They were doing. It's kind of. They were doing canvassing.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They were camp.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

They're canvassing Kansas.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

See, I'm saying it right the whole time.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

On May 21st and 22nd in 1856, a group of pro slavery men attacked the free state town of Lawrence. So a free state town is a town of freed black people. In Lawrence, two people were killed, buildings were burned and the newspaper press was destroyed. Two days later, John Brown with his sons and some other people attacked the settlement of. Oh my God, I'm going to bush this Potawatomi. And murdered five pro slavery men.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You nailed Potawatomi.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Nailed it.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You nailed it. But let's, let's roll back a little bit here. Let's go back to Lawrence to the free, the free town.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

The reason they burned the press is so that way the information couldn't get out. Burning the press is the equivalent of going in and destroying all the cell towers. For back then that's just for the listeners to understand of like oh yeah. And they also took out the newspaper. Well this is how they spread information. As you would print all the information in the newspaper and then that is what could get sent out. And then that could also be used as a paper of record. And so for people who were born in the town, all this different stuff back before we had centralized databases where these things went that maybe a coked up ketamine filled South African and a bunch of crazy Nazi 19 year olds would run into and start picking around at. Instead all of that will be stored at the local newspaper. And so that's why that's very, very important. So by destroying the newspaper, you're actually destroying the very paper existence of the town.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So two people die there and. But the destruction is even bigger because it's also saying get, go on, get out of here. The second half of it though, John Brown then turning back around Saying, you got two of ours, we get five of yours.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Classic John Brown. Classic John Brown.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Classic John.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Eight days later, another skirmish happens, this time with pro slavery men from Missouri.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

On June 2, Kansas City Chiefs fans. Yep. On June 2, John Brown and his guys surrounded the troops, killed four men, wounded several others, and captured their horses and arms.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Meanwhile, by the way, they're doing all this with muskets.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Fuck you. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I gotta, I gotta bite a thing. I gotta, I gotta pour it. Pour in the powder. I hate you so much. I'm pouring the powder. Stuff the ball, stuff the ball. All right. Bah. Fuck, I missed again. I'm gonna stab you with a stick.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, that's accurate.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That is. I just. Welcome to 1857 Kansas.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

In the months that followed, John Brown and his men were active along the Kansas Missouri border. And on August 30, 1856, a heated battle took place place at the small village of Osawatomi. Five of Brown's followers were killed, including his son Frederick. Asawatomi was eventually burned to the ground and earned John Brown the nickname of Asawatomi Tomi. And harden his stands against slavery even more, he would later remark, quote, I have only one death to die. I will fight, die fighting for this cause. End quote. Yeah, that's it. Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I mean, that's a boss quote. That's the boss quote. So wait, let's go back real quick to also Atomy, just because I didn't quite understand. So is Asawama Tomi, was that a free place or that anti slavery spot and that got attacked or was that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I think if I remember this correctly, when I was reading through it, Asawatomi was not afraid town.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It was a town full of pro slavery people.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And he and his people had a big fight with them.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And they ended up burning it to the ground. Which is why he got the nickname Gotcha.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Because he was being everyone. Remind me like, that's the guy who burned down. That's what I mean. And yeah, I thought maybe the protector or something. That's why I want to be maybe.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, I don't know. I wish I would have that new in front of me.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

But it's okay. It's okay. Well, that's why I wanted to try to get some clarification for myself. But that's the reason why we also.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Tell everybody we're not journalists, we're not.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Journalists, we're not researchers, we're not historians. And this is why you should look deeper yourself. In on people like John Brown. This is kind of a. This is a jumping off point.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You know, because you should be sitting back and thinking about with deep thoughts. If you were set stuck in a situation where there was slavery happening in the United States, where would you stand? Why don't you tell us if you're watching us on YouTube, get down in the comments. Oh, no, and tell us. Write a nice comment down there. If you're listening to us on a podcasting app, maybe go tell us in the. The reviews on Spotify or over on Apple Music. You know, this is a call to action in the weirdest way. Take. Take a violent stance against human slavery right now on the Internet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Doesn't it feel weird? Doesn't it feel weird that we're at a time in this world where taking a slit a stance against racism and slavery makes you go like, well, I don't know, I don't want to lose my job. Doesn't that feel weird, huh? 40 years of my life didn't have to have worry of that fucking thought. But anyway, we'll be right back on this podcast. We're going to tell you a little bit more about how John Brown.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

A little bit more. I'm going to tell you a lot of bit more.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Spread the great word about dei. They kept planes in the sky from.

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[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No, listen, I'm telling you. Yeah, our YouTube comments are safe. We weirdly, weirdly, I've gone through our analytics. We've actually curated a very good audience compared to other YouTube comments sections. And when I see people come in being idiots, you know what happens? They get dogpiled.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, that's true.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Somebody will come in and be like, whatever, I hate you. You're a lib cuck. And then the next one's just like, all right, Steve, we found you. And they're like, whoa, what the fuck? And I'm like, oh, well, you should have used delete me and that way, your private information would have been on the Internet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, man.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Delete me.com promania20. There you go. That's the promo. Okay. Get 20 off a plan today. Don't get doxed. All right, so what? I'm all fired up.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You're all fired up.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

John Brown, baby, fired up on app. I'm fired up on a good app.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Let's talk about Harper's Ferry. Let's go to Virginia.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We're jumping.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We're going right to Virginia, babes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay. Because the bloody Kansas thing was. That was a controversial time.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, well, it was. Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. I mean, but there was a lot of violence that happened there. And there was. You know, it is one of the things that's brought up often by historians to be like, I don't know, maybe he's not, like, completely great, because I think there was, like, a family and a few other things that happened.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. They. You know, no one's perfect.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No one is perfect.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Especially when we're looking back at historical people like, yes, you can't. You can't. Perfection.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

But it's also one of those ones where, again, is. You're at a time where he's looking at the literally human slavery.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And how he believes this is the way to deal with this is through these actions of violence.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. Real dog with a bone on this situation. Not thinking outside of what he wants to get done.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So John Brown comes up this plan for Harper's Ferry, which is in Virginia. There's a United States Armory there.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And he wants to break into the armory, seize the weapons, and then free the slaves in that area. He believes that when this. When he gets to the slaves, they will join in fighting for their freedom. Right. So on Sunday, October 16, in 1859.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Can I paint a picture real fast? Yeah, of course, sure. 1859. But I would want to point a picture about the location of Harper's Ferry and why this location is very important. A lot of people don't realize of, like, it's. It's not far away from Washington, D.C. very close to D.C. it's very close to Washington, D.C. it is a secluded area that, because of the rivers, though, is basically on a highway. Back then, the rivers are the fastest way to travel. So because you have these. There's a confluence of rivers. I mean, confluence means where rivers come together. There's all these different areas so they can move quickly. Word could travel very fast. All of these different things are right there. So he strategically picked this point on purpose. And a big Part of it is knowing that it'll be able to, as you're saying, to get to the different plantations and slaves in the area that they can start this uprising together. There have been multiple slave uprisings before this.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Most of the time that are typically being run by slaves themselves.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So the head of them as a slave. This would be different, especially in America, for a slave uprising to be had. A white general, basically, to have a white officer corps is the part that would be different, if not novel. And so that is kind of where that change comes in.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So on October 16, 1859, the late night raid on the armory begins. John Brown and 21 recruits, including his sons Oliver, Owen and Watson, snuck into the armory.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

He kept making kids. Huh?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Listen, you got to build an army.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I know earlier on you said three, you said Jason three at the time. And Owen, you just keep throwing new ones.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Frederick died.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Well, I never even heard. Frederick was born. And then before I knew it, Frederick tricks dead.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Listen, you got to keep making them.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I know, I understand.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They seized the armory and arsenal throughout the night. They took several more buildings before any shots were fired. But by morning on the 17th, after the initial confusion of the previous evening, the town was up in arms. Everybody in the town's pissed. Many farmers and soldiers began firing at John Brown's crew and they were forced to retreat into the fire engine house on the armory grounds.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yep. And that's a small little. It's. It's really a small barn. Yeah, it's like a two horse barn. Very tiny, very rickety. They have a reconstruction of it at Harpers Ferry now.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. A company of United States Marines commanded by Colonel Robert E. Lee arrived the morning of October 18th. Their purpose was to retake the engine house and captured Brown and his Raiders. Lee sent Jeb Stewart to the engine house with a note ordering Brown to surrender. Brown declined and stated, quote, he would only surrender if he and his men were allowed to escape. End quote.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Give up? Sure. Let us go. What?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Incredible.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No. Yeah. While Brown and Stewart were talking, Marines and state militia men stormed the fortress. The Raiders fired back, but the soldiers soon beat down the door and were inside. John Brown was struck by the sword of a Marine and beaten until he was unconscious. Three local men, two Marines and 10 raiders were killed, including Brown's son. Oh, two sons, Oliver and Watson. John Brown and those Raiders who didn't escape were taken prisoner and put on trial in Charlestown, West Virginia.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Where we've been. Yes, we actually, when you and I went to Harpers Ferry, but Also because we were driving to Dollywood.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It was right before COVID A magical time. 2019. October 2019.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Road trip. It was from Philly through D.C. harpers.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Ferry, then out to Tennessee. Tennessee. The foliage was slowly starting to change. Chill was starting to come in the air.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We got to Charlestown. We stayed in a nice idyllic bed.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And breakfast that was definitely haunted.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Well, you kept saying. I was like, I don't hear nothing but creeks.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. And I was like, that is.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. And then they were like, here's the Confederate battle flag we found under the ground.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hold it. We gotta get out of here.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

But it was down the street from a Sonic and a casino. Yep. They kept talking about the casino. You guys gotta go to the casino. We just got one. But yeah, it's. Charlestown is right there. And it's. It's the little town. Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Brown's trial began on October 27 and lasted until the 31st. After only 45 minutes of deliberation by the jury, he was found guilty of treason and conspiring and advising slaves and other rebels and murder in the first degree.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So, I mean, to be fair. To be completely fair, yeah, he is guilty.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We're not saying he isn't.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm not saying he wasn't.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And also, yeah, at the time. That makes total sense. He was caught, you know, red handed in the. In the thing. He literally ordered people to shoot people.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

All those different things. Yes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Morally, though.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Morally, it's completely fine. No, it's fine. On November 2nd, the judge sentenced John Brown to be hungry on December 2nd. So 30 days on the same day of his sentencing as the other conspirators, they were also tried and failed. Guilty.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They were also sentenced to death and were hanged like a week or so later on December 16th.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Before hearing his sentence, Brown was allowed to make an address to the court. I have some of that quote.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay. This is John Brown's address to the.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Court after he's been declared guilty.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I believe to have interfered as I have done in behalf of his despised poor was not wrong. But right now, if it be deemed necessary that I should forfeit my life for the furtherance of the ends of justice and mingle my blood further with the blood of my children and the blood of millions in this slave country whose rights are disregarded by wicked, cruel and unjust enactments, I submit. So let it be done. End quote.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

All right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Facts. Also, I have another quote. On December 1st, one day prior to his execution, he gave a message to One of the guards, because like, I guess the guards were like, well, Jesus, any last thing you want to say to us? And this is a quote to the guards. I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crime of this guilty land will never be purged away, but with blood. I have, as I now think, vainly flattered myself that without very much bloodshed it might be done. End quote.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And that's the story of John Brown.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I mean he, he wasn't wrong.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Nope.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You know, Shane Gillis has a joke about how the Civil War was just the north going down and shooting the racism out of the South. But the, I mean he wasn't that the big thing with John Brown is that the fact that he was white stepping forward did change a lot of people's views, especially in the north and especially in areas where abolition was already, I don't want to say like in vogue, but basically accepted.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Is there's a thing that happens where you get used to being like, I'm against it. Yeah, I'm against it. Okay, great. Like I don't have to do anything else. I'm against it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It's like, okay, yeah, that's fine. But here's a guy who's against it and he did a little bit more and you're like, all right, but how much? Whoa. That much more?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

A lot more.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

He sacrificed that much.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Absolutely.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And that change also then began to scare the South.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And that is what actually led the south to seceding once Lincoln was elected. Because the south was like afraid that the north was covered in John Brown's.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And it really wasn't. Like when you go back and you look at some of the things and some of the discussions that were happening, like the, the, the question of slavery and how it was ended up being handled was pushed because the south overreacted, believing that slavery was about to be taken out anyway. And then once by overreacting that much, then Lincoln in the north base was like, well then you, we'll just do it now. Yeah, you're already in open rebellion. Like the Emancipation Proclamation itself wasn't. There were northern states. Delaware was a slaveholding state. Maryland was a slave holding state. There they, their slaves were not freed by the Emancipation Proclamation. Yeah, that didn't come until after. Once the, once the, the constitutional amendment was finally ratified. And then there are those people who were held in slavery, there weren't made full citizens until the 14th Amendment, which created birthright citizenship which we are now apparently trying to fucking do away with. Okay, okay. So you Know, it's a big thing. All of this shit is tied together. And so when you see a lady stand up with a cross around her neck behind a podium and say, actually, birthright citizenship isn't real, just realize that, like, John Brown is right there behind her as a ghost with a big beard and Lyle Lovett hair going, the fuck it is.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. Mm. So spirit of John Brown in his story is incredibly important.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Mm.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And this. All this episode. Not that this started. This episode started because I was like, don't argue with people John Brown would have shot. Don't waste your time. There's other things we could be doing. We could be building barns. We could be becoming teachers and postmasters and refusing to serve in bad militias and teaching people in our community how to do things that maybe they don't know how to do so they can better themselves. There's a lot to do. That's not arguing in the comments. That being said, sometimes I do argue in the comments, and I end up posting them in screenshots. Yeah, you do, But I don't like to. I don't. I want us all. If I. If I had a soapbox to stand on is. I want us all to argue less in the comments so we can use.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That energy, so we can argue more in the streets.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, but really. No, but really. I mean it. Okay. Allegedly.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm just hitting that for Attorney General Pam Bondi. Okay. I'm just hitting that one for.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This is a comedy podcast.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, it's a comedy podcast.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Comedy history podcast. We're just talking about jokes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, about history. If this wasn't a history podcast, then why would we have this button? And that's a no Nazi guarantee. Why would we have that?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But if this wasn't history podcast.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Only a comedy history podcast.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Welcome to Too many tabs. That's why you want to be. Really? You're like. Please describe this show right now.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This episode is gonna get used against me in a court of law. No, obviously. Like, whatever, man.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Hey, cool.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Get me Luigi's lawyer.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You know what? You know, the funny part is, is, like, some people would be like, oh, but what about sponsors? I'd be like, the. Oh, the same ones are still. Like, they're probably on Roseanne's podcast, too. Who gives a Andrew Tate's in Florida now. Who give it. There are no laws. Okay, so Ms. P. Yeah. Guess what?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

What?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We've reached our favorite part of the episode.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

What's that?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Which is going to be giving shout outs to all of our Patreons and Also, a lot of times they have great references in there and other things. And I just want to let you guys know, we've been reading some of the messages, incredible messages that you guys have been sending us [e-mail] Pearl Mania 500. And I want to say I want to give two shout outs, okay?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Two shout outs.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Two major shout out messages. Number one was to the person who sent us a message telling us because you talked about the movie Enchanted Ever After. Ever after. Sorry. And they. Somebody sent us a message telling us how much their grandmother loved ever after.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

She was interned with the VHS in the casket.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Number one, that was incredible. Hashtag, same incredible. I now know what to bury Mrs. P in when I bury her in the backyard as she vanished, vanishes. Because I replace her with AI. I will, I will keep on.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Please, you know what?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You know what? Keep on not making white people tacos. Okay, Number two, the second message that really. And this one. Incredible. This is incredible. This is some of the direct actions we're talking about. There was a fan of ours who also has fans of her own because she posts on a very specific website.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

With fans.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

With fans. Some, you know, are there other people than fans?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, no, there is only fans.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So they. She made a deal where she was like, hey, if you post a picture, you prove to me that you joined your library or you've taken a class at your local library and you've gotten more involved there, I'll give you a discount or some free pictures or whatever. And she said it was very success.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Very successful, very successful. This is the type of work we're talking about in the community.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So I'm not saying, I'm not saying, I'm not saying.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm just saying use what you got.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Exactly, exactly. Do you have, do you have a recipe that you like to lord over people? Well, tell them, hey, hey, maybe go to a congressional town hall and then I'll give you my brownie recipe. Hey, are you like, are you just a cool person with good vibes and you know how to sing songs? Then go to people, be like, hey, I'm gonna put on a concert if more people go register to vote? All these different things, however it is the thing that you can think of, figure out, how can you get more people, how can you influence and push more people around you in real life, not on the Internet, in real life, in your town and your community across the United States and the world. I remember we have one listener in Singapore, so. And the world. How can you get.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Senator, I'M Singaporean.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

How can you get them, get more people to make the world just a slightly better place today and tomorrow and forever. And I'm not saying you have to do it right now, but hurry the fuck up. We've been signing this homework to you now for months and it's been getting worse out here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We don't expect everyone listening to this podcast to solve all the problems in the world.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, yeah, we, we don't expect.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Do what you can. Maybe, maybe don't burn yourself.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Maybe mom over there doesn't expect it, but Daddy expects you to fix it. Fix it for Daddy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

All right, let's get those shout outs and we'll be right back after this. Right now, as you're listening to this, your information is being sold on the Internet and it's not being in the dark web somewhere, hidden in some site that only certain people know. It's out in the open. Your information, a file with your name, home address, phone number and more, are being sold by data brokers and they're being sold to anyone. Scammers, stalkers. Anyone out there that wants to get your information can get it easily from these data brokers. But don't worry, I have a solution today to help you protect yourself from that, and that is to join Delete Me. I've been partnered with Delete Me for some time now, and Delete Me has helped me remove my information from data brokers, background check companies and more from across the Internet. Through their subscription service and their helpful portal, I've been able to monitor my private data across the Internet and make sure that I'm more secure than ever before. You can also get a discount on this service today. Go to joindeleteme.com Pearlmania20 or check the link in our description for more information. That's joindeleteme.com Pearlmania20. Go find out more information today and protect yourself right now across the Internet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

500.Net for Patreon exclusive content.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, yeah, listen, we always have such a good time on this show and I just want to say thank you once again to all of our Patreons. We have a such a thick. A thick, thick.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Unless. Well, we didn't do them last week because the book club. Book club always runs a little long.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. But there's also been so many people have been joining us recently. We've had, we've had a huge inflow bucks of people coming and joining us. And also because we provide a lot of cool content, but also because you know what happens when they Join. They become part of the best comment section on the Internet, which is an exclusive club that only the coolest people with $5 are allowed to join. Over on patreon.com we don't do a discord. We don't do anything else.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Honestly, the comment section is so much funnier than us all the time. They always come up with great ideas. I laugh so hard reading our comments.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You ready? Wait. We hear how funny these people are. Let's go ahead and start with some of their names. Some of the interesting names that people come up with with Sweaty yeti, Underscore, and the underscore. Gay agenda.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Sweaty yeti and the gay agenda. Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After a sweaty yeti, on the gay agenda, we have Patricia Riley.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Patricia. Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have our text. The creator.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Artex. The creator.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's pretty cool. That's a cool name. After that we have Alex's last brain cell, queef. Oh, no, it's all one word. They put a comma between brain cell and queef.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. So your last brain cell queefed out your butt.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yep. That's 100. What happened? Yep. After that, we have K. The bunna king.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that we have Danny.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Danny.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After Danny, we have Alicia or Alasia.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, hon, I hope you got it right.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I hope I have it right too. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna go with Alicia.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have Jane Lynn. Chora.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Or Cora.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Cora.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

C H O R A m. I'm gonna go with Cora.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

All right.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Cora, Jane Lynn. Cora. After that we have. This is a long one. This is all one. Okay. Watched one YouTube because you look like my son. Underscored. Stayed for the content. You know what?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Nice.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, hon, hold on.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Stop. Everybody. Everybody shut up. Stop. I want you to know I was been almost a year ago to the day when we started actually making videos for the YouTube channel. And it's been a whole thing. Thing. I don't like it. I don't like the fact I'm on camera.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I get annoyed by it. It's a whole extra amount of work, however, to find out that one mom.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Joined began all the way to become a Patreon.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Who stopped because you look like my son. And then go, you know what? This is really good.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I just want to say thank you. You have just made a year of work worth it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hell yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Just you, nobody else.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Just.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That seems like a lot.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It is a lot.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The work I did.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You did do a lot, but not as Much work as Jessica Morati.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Jessica. Hey, hun.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that we have Sarah Halls.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Sarah Halls.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Then we have Katie.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Katie.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Then we have Sunshine.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Sunshine.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, hon, uncross your arms.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

There we go. Now say it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Sunshine.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

There we go. After that we have Sian Patrick Marshall.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Then we have K.T. rex.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

K.T. rex.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Thanks. Hey.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Pretty cool. That's a cool name. Hannah Mack.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Hannah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have. I underscore. Lost. Underscore. The underscore game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, I don't know what game we're playing.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No, I lost the game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I lost the game.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. You lost the game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I did.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. We all lost the game. Everyone just lost the game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You don't know the game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Mentioning the game means you lose the game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I don't know what that is.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It's a game where you like. It's. It's hard to explain the game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

But the game is the thing that we're always playing.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Is that like punch buggy?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No, no. The game is don't lose the game. You lose the game by talking about the game, by knowing about the game, by thinking about the game. And so just by acknowledging the game, you've lost the game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's the game.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This feels like a lot.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

This is what we had before video games.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, I just played Don't Break the Ice. That was my favorite.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have Bob Ferguson.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Bob.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

What a cool name. Bob Ferguson is such a cool fucking name. I don't know why I love you, Bob Ferguson.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I just feel like Bobby Ferg.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I just feel like if you just like. Hey, it's me, Bob Ferguson.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

He probably is younger, too. He just has an old man named like Bob Ferguson. After that we have Rookie.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Rookie. Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Up next, Jax and his mom.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Jax and his mom.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We're getting a lot of mom content.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Mom Content. Mom. Mom. Tent.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay. Up next. You ready?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Go. Underscore.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Birds.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Facts.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Underscore. Super Bowl.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Underscore. Champions.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Understand.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Score.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Rip.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Underscore. Phillies polls.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Facts. Rip to the polls.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Go Bird. Super bowl champions. Rip Phillies polls.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But you know, our taxes pay for those polls. There are polls. We can do what we want with them.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yo, bring a pull down. Carry it to home. Bring it to your friend.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I pay for it. It's mine.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, it was. Knock, knock.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Who's there? Pole poll. Who?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Paul not here no more. You took too long.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Cop car accidents.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After. After. Go, Birds. Go Birds. We have Natasha.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Natasha.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Up Next we have aka_, Cactus. Underscore Chris.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Cactus Chris.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Cactus Chris.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Nice.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I like that. After that, we have Librarian Underscore here. Underscore four. Underscore. Library Underscore Lovers.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, a librarian's here for library lovers. That's us.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Thank you so much, librarian, for being a librarian.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, librarian. I know your job is exhausting, and we appreciate everything you do. All librarians. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's a lot of work.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And you're doing it, and we appreciate it.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

And you know what? You've taken too long. Go shelve another book.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No. Hey.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Hey. What?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Don't talk to librarians that way.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'll talk to them however I want.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, you won't. You'll be quiet in the library.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Oh, sorry. I hope we have never made you laugh so loud While you're wearing AirPods that you get shushed by a co worker.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I think we have.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Probably have.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Up next, we have Blue Space Wizard.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, Blue Space Wizard. Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have redacted for fun. What an episode to be added to, huh? Yeah. All right, let me see. Exist.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

What?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, hold on. I'm gonna get this. Okay, There is. This is. There's a bunch put in here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, I got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

All right.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Existential loser.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Existential loser.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

So it looked like it said, exists Essential loser, and then I put it together, like, oh, it is actually existential loser, but they wrote it crazy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I understand.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I know what you're going for. I appreciate it. Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Up next, they have two if by fire.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That is awesome.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Nailed it.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Wow. We're getting real. After two if by fire, we have. Hey, there.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey. Hey, there.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Hey, there. It's like, hey, hon. But, hey, there.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, there.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have Sunday Me Time. Crash out. Yo, that is hell yeah, dude. Yeah. Yes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hell yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That is kind of what our show is. That is kind of what our show is.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Every Sunday, we're here to crash out.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have Allison.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Allison.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have Valerie. Jagata.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Valerie.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Or Jagta. After that, we have Simon laberge.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Simon laberge.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

He's Canadian.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

He reached out earlier and was like, I'm Canadian. And I was like, oh, we want to go.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Do you want to adopt us?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. We're like, we would love to be there, would love to visit. Hopefully we can get there before the war. After that, we have John Tomas ii. Up next, we have Christy with a.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

C. Christy with a C. Han.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that we have chicky nugs.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Chicky nugs. Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Chicky nugs. I can't wait. I cannot wait until our son is old enough for chicky nugs. Yeah, just so you can be like chicken chicky nugs. You ready for chicky nugs?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Dino nugs. Dino nuggies.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Dino nuggies is life. You. You know when. When you had a surgery a long time ago, and I had to. I had to care for you while you were bedridden and like, what was that movie where the. Where she keeps breaking his legs?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, with the Kathy Bates.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Misery.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Misery. You were. It was that level there where you were. You were the guy in the bed and I would bring you food and be like, have you made more content? But during that time, you. We discovered gluten free dino nuggies.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I could air fry for you with.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

A little bit of ranch, a little.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Bit of ranch on the side. And that was all. I fed you for like a week.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

My body was like, we're so sick. Please, sir, a vegetable, please.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

One piece of broccoli. And I was like, have another chicken nug. Have you finished writing your podcast yet?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I would just like some water, please.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After chicky nugs, we have. I underscore. Joined_ Patreon._2_ here._U. Underscore. Cook.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, hey.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I joined Patreon to hear you cook. Thank you so much for joining our Patreon to hear us cook. This week's episode's a doozy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

With the gringo tacos. After that. Caught up. Underscore. Now sad.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Caught up. Now sad. Well, congratulations. You can now listen to a lot of episodes of the Warm Up. There's a little. A lot of other things there on the Patreon so that you aren't caught up completely.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, you're getting there things all the time.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

How did you catch up? That's crazy. We have so much content.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Welcome to the new horror.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have Kayla Underscore from Underscore Delaware.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Kayla.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Hey. And you know what, Kayla? I'm gonna be doing a show in Delaware in the near future. I just. I just. A friend of mine reached out to me. I will have more information about that soon. So listen out. It's gonna be somewhere in Wilmington. Up next, in my goblin era.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, babes.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Who got out?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, how'd you get out? When did we leave?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We've been in Goblin era since. I want to say, the second they were like, I'm Goblining And I was like, oh, that's what we've been doing.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, yes, I am.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

According to J.K. rowling, I've been gobbling since birth.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Because she's a racist. Up next.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

She is.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

She is. Yeah. No, in my gobble mirror. You're an amazing person, JK Rowling. Bigot. After that, Wednesday, Leo Rain.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, hon.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Up next, Cloud K. Hey, Hun. Up next, Kayla Jo.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Kayla.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Up next, not secretly a fed. This might be true because I might get fired.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

J.K. oh, no. Oh, no. Listen, we appreciate the work you do to help support our government in whatever capacity you do it in.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After not secretly a fed, we have Alexis.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Alexis.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After that, we have goose.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, goose. I love a goose. I was thinking you some of them goose that they're. That people put in their lawns and then they get different outfits for them. I think I need to become one of them.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

No, we're not being them.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They dress up the geese.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We have a child. Look at me. We have a child to dress. Yeah, you gotta dress the child.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But what about the little.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We don't have time to dress.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Christmas goose.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We don't have time to dress.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Easter goose. A goose dressed up like a bunny. That's funny right there.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We have two names left.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, good.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm just saying goose.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It's a good. Listen, I am with you. It's a good idea.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Goose.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

After goose, we have Adria. Dro.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Adria.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay. And then finally. Are you ready?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

We have joining the podcast and joining the Patreon. Mrs. Poop Feet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm sorry, what?

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Mrs. Poop Feet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I don't know what to say.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

That's their name.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That. Okay.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Say hey, hon.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, hon. Mrs. Poop Feet.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yep. So to everyone.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I really feel like I stepped in it. Nailed it. Got him.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Mrs. P. Yes. Not to be confused with Mrs. Poop Feet, because that is also Mrs. P.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, that's also Mrs.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Pull. What do we want to put. Tell people to put in the comments.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, okay. It's a really difficult one with this episode.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It really is.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You've already made a call to action in the comments already.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I know, but we have to. We have to do the end of episode call to action as well. How about. How about just, just, just Rip to the goat.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Rip to the goat.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Rip to the goat. John Brown, you were pretty cool. There also were a shit ton of other people who also fought against slavery who didn't get anywhere near the. You know what is actually, real quick, I meant to mention this Earlier. The part that's crazy about John Brown is, like, the reason we know so much about him is because it was so crazy that a white dude did it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

But also, it's very much guy at a meeting who speaks up that says the exact thing a woman just did.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You know what I mean? Like Nat Turner's rebellion. There's all these other different things that happen, like, over and over and over again. But then you're, like, looking at. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why is this guy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, he wedged salad it.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But with a lot of energy. He went above.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

It was good energy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

I'm not saying it wasn't. Yeah, but it does.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He wedged salad really hard.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

John Brown is. He is the. The. He is like the. The Elvis of abolitionists.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He's super successful at stealing what black people were currently doing.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, it's kind of like, all right. Yeah. Just kind of repackaged it and then suddenly like. No, that's actually pretty cool. Let's put it like that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It's cool when he does it.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

You know what? Once you add just a little bit of sour cream, that's a callback. How that's a callback. Dare you to vibing with the food.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Idiot.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

This week. All right, that's been our episode, guys. Thank you so much. Oh, I know what I want you to write in the comments. Officially, we're gonna write in the comments. Go. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I love them tacos.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He's lost.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Not gonna make any bets.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This is our third episode. We gotta go.

[Mr. Pearl Mania]

Okay, guys, hey, listen. Let me end it with this. I love each and every one of you. Now follow my commands. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers, and we're starting to feel like we've got. Too many times. Open it too many times. Remember to smile. No, but see, that'll weird them out. I sprinkled in to weird them out.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It's really uncomfortable.

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