KRATOM: the LEGAL $13 Gas station POISON | TMT 140

Summary

Summary of "KRATOM: the LEGAL $13 Gas Station POISON | TMT 140"

Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 dives deep into the controversial world of Kratom in this episode titled "KRATOM: the LEGAL $13 Gas Station POISON." Hosted by the witty husband-and-wife duo, Alex and Mrs. Pearl Mania, the episode blends humor with investigative research to uncover the truth behind this widely available yet misunderstood substance.

---

1. Introduction to Kratom

The episode opens with Alex recounting a recent encounter at a shady Pennsylvania gas station where he purchased a bottle of Kratom for $10.30. Mrs. Pearl Mania introduces the topic by explaining how a viral TikTok video about Kratom spurred her to conduct a thorough investigation into its origins, effects, and societal impact.

• Notable Quote:
  • Alex [02:24]: "There has never been a scarier time to be on the Internet because everything you do on here leaves a little trail right back to your house."

2. Hosts' Experience Purchasing Kratom

Alex describes his amusing yet concerning journey to acquire Kratom, highlighting the confusing options presented at the gas station—powder, pill, or shot. His attempt to follow his wife’s instructions leads him to a dubious convenience store, reflecting the chaotic nature of Kratom's availability.

• Notable Quote:
  • Mrs. Pearl Mania [02:09]: "And I said, you got the wrong one. It's blue. That's orange. Are you colorblind?"

3. Research Findings on Kratom's Effects and Safety

Mrs. Pearl Mania delves into her research, emphasizing that Kratom is unregulated and lacks comprehensive studies on its efficacy and safety. She highlights the FDA's stance from 2019, stating there's "no evidence that Kratom is safe or effective for treating any condition."

• Notable Quote:
  • Mrs. Pearl Mania [11:27]: "We don't know the safety or efficacy."

The discussion reveals that Kratom possesses both opioid-like and stimulant properties, leading to varied user experiences—from increased alertness and energy to sedation and mood changes. However, the absence of regulation raises significant concerns about dosage and potential side effects.

• Notable Quote:
  • Alex [13:54]: "But that's his thing about anything. If you do too much of it, it becomes a poison."

4. Marketing Strategies of Kratom Products

The hosts explore how companies like Botanic Tonics market Kratom through sophisticated branding, positioning it as a wellness tonic rather than a street drug. They scrutinize the packaging, subscription models, and influencer partnerships that glamorize Kratom consumption.

• Notable Quote:
  • Alex [32:50]: "It's that blue glass. It is very much that blue glass. That evil eye type of Greek eastern med type of feel."

Mrs. Pearl Mania criticizes the reward systems akin to loyalty programs, comparing them to gas station can collecting, which could potentially encourage addictive purchasing behaviors.

5. Class Action Lawsuit and Legal Issues

A significant portion of the episode discusses a class action lawsuit against Feel Free, a Kratom product, which was settled for $8.75 million. The lawsuit alleged that the product contributed to addiction, highlighting the lack of proper regulation and oversight in the Kratom industry.

• Notable Quote:
  • Mrs. Pearl Mania [74:34]: "And when I went to check on this class action lawsuit, it's already been settled out of court."

6. Discussions on Related Supplements: Kava and Quick K

Transitioning from Kratom, the hosts introduce Kava and a fictional supplement called Quick K, intended to help users manage withdrawal symptoms from Kratom addiction. They humorously critique the cyclical nature of supplement marketing—selling solutions for addictions created by previous supplements.

• Notable Quote:
  • Alex [43:08]: "It's a cycle, baby. We're gonna make sure that you can't sleep, you can't be awake, you can't get a boner unless you keep putting all these things inside your fucking body."

7. Influencer and Social Media Impact

The episode highlights how Kratom products gain traction through social media influencers on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Mrs. Pearl Mania examines the disparity between follower counts and actual influence, noting that many influencers promoting Kratom face backlash and account restrictions due to the substance's controversial nature.

• Notable Quote:
  • Mrs. Pearl Mania [62:15]: "And I just did a 5k and I'm celebrating with a ginger beer, feel free, tonic cocktail, mocktail, whatever."

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up, Alex and Mrs. Pearl Mania emphasize the dangers of unregulated supplements like Kratom and Kava. They caution listeners about the lack of scientific backing and the potential for addiction, urging critical thinking and consultation with healthcare professionals before considering such substances.

• Notable Quote:
  • Alex [89:55]: "So yeah, we have a lot of stuff going on. I'm probably gonna get banned from TikTok because I can't stop talking about Jeffrey Epstein."

The hosts conclude with a blend of humor and seriousness, reinforcing that while their exploration is entertaining, the implications of Kratom use are no laughing matter.

---

Conclusion

In this episode, Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 masterfully combines humor with critical analysis to shed light on the complex landscape of Kratom. Through personal anecdotes, research, and sharp commentary, Alex and Mrs. Pearl Mania encourage listeners to question the safety and marketing practices of unregulated supplements, all while maintaining their signature comedic flair.

Transcript

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance.

[Alex]

Companies to see if you could save some cash?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Alex]

Summer fun goes great with Family Freedom from T Mobile. We'll pay off four phones up to $3200 and give you four free phones, all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com FamilyFreedom up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement eg Apple iPhone 16128 gigabyte $8,029.99 Eligible trade in eg iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact T Mobile. Great. Tom, you might have seen this sign in front of a really shady gas station that's blinking deeply into the night. Maybe you've gone inside and seen these little bottles there. We've always wondered what this stuff was. And then my wife, Mrs. Started doing research on it. And for the last hour she's been explaining to me what this stuff is, who's involved with it. There's a White Lotus story that involves kind of a Sam Rockwell character. RFK's the good guy. Nara Smith shows up for no reason with Donald Trump, and it just keeps going from there. This stuff is terrifying. Find out more because we opened how.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Many.

[Alex]

Remember to smile. Welcome to Too Many Tabs. And we're here for Quack Month. That's right. It's Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit across from each other in a room. And during quack month, Mrs. P. The lovely Mrs. P. My wife, that's me. She's right over there. She does researches on a crack. A quack. A crack.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

A crack pot.

[Alex]

Crack pot.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Alex]

Somebody who does medical malpractice.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Oh, we've done all sorts of different people, allegedly. But this week. This week you said it was going to be slightly different. And then you set me off on a task.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, I gave you a task.

[Alex]

Yeah. You said, go get Kraton.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. I said, go to the local corner store.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And get a bottle of Kraton.

[Alex]

Yeah. And I said. And I said, wawa.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Blue bottle.

[Alex]

No, I know, but I said wawa. And you said, you can't get it at Wawa.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I said, it's not going to be a Wawa.

[Alex]

And I was really confused about this. And I went and I went to a very. I went to a very shady convenience store.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Alex]

That has. In Pennsylvania, they have skill games in are full of lotto lottery machines and, sorry, slot machines. And I got this bottle, okay, this little bottle. And I walked into the guy said, I'd like some Kray Tom. And he said, kratom. And I said, sure. And then he went, do you want the powder, do you want the pill, or do you want the shot? And I said, I think she told me to get the shot. And then he started listing shots. And then eventually he walked me over to a wall that was covered in these little bottles. And I was like, are those five hour energies? He goes, no, it's Kratom. And I said, what does it do? And he said, if I know, all I know is these weirdos keep buying it. And then I said, all right. And then he charged me $10.30 for this.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

A deal. A deal? Really? Apparently my research. That's a bargain.

[Alex]

Yes. And then I came home, I said, I got the Kratom.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And I said, you got the wrong one.

[Alex]

Yeah. And I said, what do you mean I got the wrong one?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I said, blue. That's orange. Are you colorblind? There's a big thing on the Internet right now about lots of guys are colorblind and they don't know it's.

[Alex]

I don't see color. I'm not colorblind.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, okay. What color is your shirt?

[Alex]

My shirt is green because it's quack month and it's the honks, not quack shirt that you can get right down the description below of this episode. That's our special 2025 Quack Monster.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I worked really hard on them and I love them. And that's for the audio listeners, if you haven't seen it yet. It is the porch goose that I. We have run all the information on about the name and we voted on Patreon. And it's like. It's like an INS joke. And then also a quack duck. Oh, yep, right here.

[Alex]

I just went. Bought it when we were down at the shore. It's a duck that's wearing a medical jacket because all ducks are fake doctors. And so is RFK Jr. Now, what is this episode about?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, so listen, here's what happened, okay? I'll tell you what happened. I was watching the TikTok, as one does. You know, it's late at night in bed I'm scrolly scrolling because we finally put the toddler down. And I'm, like, having a moment to realign my brain. So what do I do? I look at the horrors. That's what you have to do. And I get this TikTok, and it's this guy saying he went to a gas station or, like a 7 11, whatever. And this kid comes up to him and asks him to buy him some Kraton. Anyway, I want to play the TikTok, because this is the TikTok that sent me down all the deep dive.

[Alex]

Something truly disturbing just happened to me. I just stopped for gas. On my way home, I am approached by a child. I mean, this kid, he was maybe 14 years old. And he comes up to me and he says, hey, can you buy me some feel free? I didn't understand what he was talking about, but I said, do you need food or something? And he said, no, I need feel free. And I was like, I'm sorry, no. And this young kid lunged at me and tried to take my wallet out of my hand. I go up to the cashier, and I was like, hey, just so you know, there's, like, some kid out there. He was asking me to buy something for him, and he, like, tried to grab my wallet. And she was just like, oh, my gosh, it's this. And she pointed to this little blue bottle on the counter that I've never seen before. She was like, no. This stuff is so sad. I have people coming in here five, six times a day to get this. It's so addictive. And people lose their minds. People act like actual crackheads or like they have heroin addictions over this little drink.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So I watched that TikTok, okay? And here's the thing. I had already done a little bit of light research on the Kraton before. Do you remember this?

[Alex]

Okay, I do. Because one time in Pennsylvania, there's a thing. This is very specific to Pennsylvania. Every now and then, you drive past a place that used to be a Wawa, and that's how you know it's going downhill. If you're like. You drive past the place, you're like, that used to be a Wawa. Because old Wawas have a very specific.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Look to them, just like a Pizza Hut.

[Alex]

And we drove past a place that used to be a Wawa, and they had a big sign that said kraton on it, or crom.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It was blinking.

[Alex]

It was a blinking. It was. It was a fluorescent sign. And my first thought was, is that Tamaco? And you were Confused. And I'm like, it's a Simpsons reference. In the Simpsons, there's an episode where they cross breed tobacco with tomatoes. And it makes like. I think it makes like the pigs insane. Like all these people get addicted to it. And I'm like, what is Kraton? Like, is this another type? I thought maybe it's like zins or it's another vape thing or like a cbd. Yeah, one of those things.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Because those type of shops, the shops that sell the tobacco shops, whatever, they always have like the newest thing.

[Alex]

Yeah, it's always the, the newest barely legal thing that can get you up. It's always vape shop adjacent.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Alex]

And they're like, this is where you get your vape.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So we were driving and I think we had like a 30 minute drive to where to get home. Yeah. So I'm on my phone, I'm. I'm just looking at what Kraton is. I'm googling it.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And I just like. I did a quick Google and I was like, it's weird because I remember being like this stuff seems really weird because in. Some people are saying it's an upper, some people are saying it's a downer. Some people were drinking it to get off of heroin or alcohol. Alcohol because people that were trying to get sober were drinking it to help them get sober. And like this was a while back, like I would say at least two years ago. So it was like before, I guess this TikTok came out obviously. And so I had read about it and I was like, oh, that's weird and interesting that that's a thing. I. Whatever. And I just like we must have just got home and I never thought about it again. Right? Never. It never popped back.

[Alex]

Yeah. And every now and then I would drive and I would see again, it's always like the shadier convenience store. I would see the blinking sign and I would always just go to macco. I just like it does it like that. That was just to me, every time I saw it, I'm like, I made that tomako joke about that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And also me, I'm just like, if I see a fluorescent light on a tobacco shop, I'm not trusting whatever. So I'm never going to.

[Alex]

Well, usually, usually it's like Delta 9 THC. That's usually what it's always saying.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So the, the whipped cream flavored whippets the kids are buying.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Before we start this episode where I did a deep dive into what this feel free stuff is.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I do want to do a quick content warning about substance abuse disorder, because we're going to be talking about that.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So quick content warning. So I did look up Kratom on Wiki.

[Alex]

Right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I wanted to just to figure out what this stuff is first before we get into what the bottle is.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay. It comes from leaves in tropical. From tropical trees. It's related to the coffee family and is indigenous to Cambodia, Thailand and Indonesia and Malaysia.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So Southeast Asian islands. It's been used as an herbal medicine since at least the 19th century. And historically, it was consumed by chewing or smoking or as a tea. Right. Kratom has an opioid like properties.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But also stimulant like effects.

[Alex]

So is this like cocoa?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Alex]

Because, like, I. I know that down in South America, there's like, there's cocaine, which is an extract of cocoa.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Alex]

But like, there's people in South America, you can just chew the leaves and you get a very light buzz.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Alex]

And it's like. But over time, people figured out how to purify that and make it stronger.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

TikTok. And it was the best three days ever.

[Alex]

Y'. All, I need you to understand. We've never talked about it, but there was a while where Mrs. P fell down. She fell down. Coke talk. And that is not people doing cocaine on TikTok. It's people making cocaine on TikTok. And this is the reason why, for when she was doing this episode, I was like. She was like, yeah, I have these TikToks I want to show you during the episode. And I said, well, save them, because you don't know how long they're going to be there.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I knew those cocaine ones were getting deleted.

[Alex]

There were guys, like, on speedboats, and it had the same music, was this like. It was just like narco band music playing in the background. And it was people just them stirring.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That, like, why go to college when you could do this? And I was like, I love this market.

[Alex]

And then there was a moment. I swear to God, there was a moment I walked into the living room and I was like, hey, babe, I want to watch. I want to watch the show. And you were like, hold on. I don't know how, but I'm on heroin talk now. And I said, excuse me. And she's like. And she turned her iPad. Because my wife watches.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I watch TikToks.

[Alex]

She watches TikToks exclusively on her iPad. And she turned her iPad around and there it was, Afghanistan in an opium field. And there's a guy picking Opium and prepping it to make heroin. And I said, how did you end up here? And she said, I don't know, but.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It'S like, I'm in too deep. I said, I'm in too deep. I can't get out.

[Alex]

I was like, most people get pipelined to, like the alt, right? And you ended up being like, you know, this Taliban. I was like, what is happening?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The next day I opened it and all of them were deleted.

[Alex]

All of them were gone accounts. And she literally, she turned. She. Because what she does. Everyone who does this on Tik Tok, you favorite the ones and then you go to your favorites or your likes, and then you go through that. You're like, oh, this one was good. Let me show you this. Oh, this one. She turned hers around and it was just slates of gray.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Content removed. Much like all of my videos on Tick Tock about Jeffrey Epstein.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Literally. I don't know. By the time this episode gets posted, I don't know if I'll still have a Tick Tock.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, you might get.

[Alex]

That's where we're at right now. To the point where they've been clearing the board.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Put the board down. This is not a board episode.

[Alex]

All right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, so listen.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The efficacy and safety of. Of Kratom is unknown.

[Alex]

Do we Real quick. Yeah, just before we get even hoagie mouth in it. Yeah, let's agree now. Kratom. Kratom.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm going to say Kratom because that's what's more natural for us.

[Alex]

Okay. All right, got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I got hoagie mouth. There's nothing I can do about it.

[Alex]

Get it in the comments and tell us how you would pronounce it. Okay, because real quick, pronounce crayon for me.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Crown.

[Alex]

See, that's what we're dealing with here. That's what we're dealing with here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

A box of crowns.

[Alex]

Yeah, exactly. Crayons. Okay, go ahead, Mrs.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, so we don't know the safety or efficacy. In 2019, the FDA stated that there is no evidence that Kratoma. See, now I'm going to overthink it is safe or effective for treating any condition and that there is no approved clinical uses for kratom. The DEA stated in 2013 that there is no legitimate medical use for it.

[Alex]

Okay, wait, so that first year you said was 2019. 2019. Okay, so we're still so and so that means the Obama administration, 2013 DEA. And in 2019, which is the first Trump administration, they both were like this shit's yeah. Sideways.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We don't know what it is, but we're also not touching it because we've talked about this in past seasons of quack month.

[Alex]

Yes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This is a supplement. And so when things are like, I'm a supplement, we don't have to. Nobody's required to check in on them or how they're made or what's in them.

[Alex]

No one. And I do, by the way, I have to keep shaking it because I'm seeing it separate as I'm sitting.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Are you excited to drink it?

[Alex]

I'm gonna find out. I keep looking at this very long warning label. Well, this is incredibly wrong labels. Ok.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So people describe the feeling of kratom as increased alertness.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Physical energy.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Talkativeness.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Social ability.

[Alex]

This is just cocaine.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Sedation, changes in mood.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And pain relief.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Again, this is what makes me. I'm so good. Like, again, as someone who may have, I don't know, I have used drugs in the past. Right. I thought you're gonna hit allegedly. Because I was like, it's not allegedly.

[Alex]

No, it's not alleged.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Usually you don't get the up or down or together.

[Alex]

Well, here's the thing. Well, here's the thing though. And from knowing the history of cocaine in this country, especially in the United States, cocaine has been used as an upper. But then they also tried to use it as anesthesia.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Alex]

Because like especially back for like dental surgery back in the day, they gave a ton of people coke.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

They're like, yeah, well, coke can be a numbing agent.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Alex]

So it's like, they're like, okay, so that's, that's kind of where. That's why it feels like this falls very much in the cocaine world. Or honestly, you know, this is starting to feel more and more like as we've discussing it. This feels like coke. Classic. Not with sugar cane rfk. This feels like the old cocaine. This feels like the 1890s. Go see a soda jerk cocaine. We're gonna. Hey guys, we're doing some kratom goonin over here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Now let me tell you about some common side effects before you chug it.

[Alex]

Okay? I'm not chugging Chug it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Common side effects include appetite loss, nausea, constipation.

[Alex]

Oh.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And erectile dysfunction.

[Alex]

I like that you read them slowly.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like it's a modern day medical ad.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because if you want to do it really fast, you could be like. And death.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Also. There are more. That's the common ones. Okay. I want to be clear. That's like, day to day.

[Alex]

That's.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The average person might experience these already.

[Alex]

Terrified at constipation because I've seen the movie train spotting.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Y.

[Alex]

And that was. Can I tell you the only thing keeping me from heroin?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, well, you don't have to do heroin because we have Kratom.

[Alex]

I know, but I'm saying, though, is. What I'm saying, though, in general is like, I never wanted to do heroin because I love pooping.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And they were like a. If you do heroin and you. You don't poop for a while. And I said, keep that away from me.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, no, thanks. I like to be regular.

[Alex]

I. That's one of the things get things done. I like to be.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I like more severe side effects.

[Alex]

Okay. Because that's more severe than erectile dysfunction.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. The more severe side effects include respiratory depression, seizure, psychosis, elevated heart rate and blood pressure, trouble sleeping, and liver injury. Yeah.

[Alex]

You got back to back liver episodes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I need you. Not that type. Like, liver injury, as in, you have to go to davita weekly.

[Alex]

Oh.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You know what I mean.

[Alex]

Yeah. Davita, for those of you who are international, davita is a kidney dialysis place that, if you're in any small town, it literally goes Dollar General, DaVita Kidney.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Alex]

And then if you're lucky, a Popeyes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, lucky.

[Alex]

If you're lucky. If you're not lucky, a Burger King.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But usually.

[Alex]

Usually it's in between the. Davita is usually in between the Dollar General and the vape store.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And it's for people who have to have their kidneys flushed, and a lot of them are owned by private equity, and they've been having a lot of different issues with DaVita in general, but, you know, it's one of those fun parts of our health care.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So also, just again, like, maybe don't do these bottles so that you don't end up having to go to get this done. You know what I'm saying? Okay. So anyway, addiction is a possible risk with regular use of Kraton. And when use is stopped, withdrawal symptoms may occur. A number of deaths have been connected to the use of Kratom both by itself and mixed with other substances. Serious toxicity is relatively rare and generally appears at high doses when Kratom is used with other substances. Okay, so again, if we're. If you're doing, like. If you use Kratom on its own, maybe not as scary in the appropriate dosage, but again, we don't know what the appropriate dosage is because it is considered a supplement. Therefore, it is not Regulated.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So we don't know how much you're supposed to take and nobody does.

[Alex]

Can I read one thing that is on the bottom of this warning label? Just real fast, just because to go. Because of the supplement side at the bottom of this warning label, it is labeled in white. The rest of this is general warning in white. These statements have not been evaluated by the fda. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or illness. Again, because it's a supplement.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Officially under the U.S. yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And one day we'll have to do a whole episode on the guy who passed this legislation that makes it so that we don't ever test supplements. Because that guy sucks.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Anyway. Because the withdrawal effects of Kratom are often reported to be less severe than those associated with traditional opioids severely. Some people use Kratom in the attempt to manage opioid use disorder. So people that are trying to get off opioids have reached out to Kratom and started using it as a way to get off of it. But I think that the thing that when I was reading this specific line really stuck out to me is like the. They're often reported as less severe, but it still has the word severe in there. Yeah, it's still a severe withdrawal and people need to remember that.

[Alex]

But this is very similar to people using vapes or zins to stop smoking cigarettes. Cigarettes. Yeah, it's. It's similar in that scale where you're still addicted to something. And actually a lot of people who get sober, especially from harder drugs, they chain smoke cigarettes. I mean, anybody who's ever been smoking. Listen, you wanna, you wanna have a crazy night, ban cigarettes from a rehab? Are you insane? Go to rehab and be like this. By the way, this is a non smoking facility.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Get out of here.

[Alex]

Yeah, that's fine. That's how you get January 6th. Yeah, you get January 6th at the Grippy sock convention. What the are we talk show up.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

With a Carton in Newport 1000s and shut the up.

[Alex]

That's what I'm talking about right now.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You better bring me a big ass coffee and a carton in Newports. We're getting sober.

[Alex]

Yeah, we're getting sober. Show with a bottle of Kraton.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, no.

[Alex]

Hey, hey. Yeah, we're guys. We're gonna have a fun weekend. What we got? We got us a case of Kraton. We got us.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, we got a case of Kraton. Money? I don't think so.

[Alex]

Yeah, we got a. Yeah, $10.30 a little bottle.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Remember that? So this is crazy.

[Alex]

It was crazy price.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. So there's no formal trials or studies about efficacy. It's not approved for medical use. People are taking it to manage chronic pain or treating opioid withdrawal symptoms.

[Alex]

So you're telling me this is.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And also for recreational purposes.

[Alex]

And so this has been less tested than the COVID 19 vaccine?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Alex]

I just want to be clear about that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

There's been less clinical testing about this bottle of shit that I can buy at almost any gas station in Pennsylvania.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Than there has been about the Moderna or Pfizer or other COVID 19 vaccines that people are constantly screaming about on podcasts.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But they've done their research.

[Alex]

Okay. Just letting you know.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Just like I've done my research.

[Alex]

You have done my research, and I.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Need to tell you yet again that my research isn't that good. I went to community college.

[Alex]

Yeah. We like to remind people that I.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Have an associate's degree. I'm not a scientist in any way. I'm just looking at stuff I found on the Internet.

[Alex]

Double check our facts and tell us we're wrong in the comments. That's also known as engagement. That then boosts our video to other people.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So people take it for recreational purposes. The effects typically last. Oh, they start within five to ten minutes, and they last up to five hours.

[Alex]

Five hours, yeah. Okay, so it's like inedible.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. Five hour energy. Yeah. Kratom is often used by workers in laborious or monotonous occupations to stave off exhaustion and also as a painkiller. I wonder who that would be marketed to.

[Alex]

Okay, so trucks, Trucks, trucks, trucks. That is a. That is a cars on the road reference. Not even cars.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We're deep in the cars.

[Alex]

We're so deep into cars.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I have the car soundtrack in my itunes.

[Alex]

We have the song. Yeah, we do. Our kid latched on to a specific song. Trucks, Trucks, Trucks, Trucks. It's an incredible song. It's actually. Actually a really, really good song.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

When I put it on, I love it.

[Alex]

It is.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The horn section is incredible.

[Alex]

Yeah, I have it. I have it on my downloaded playlist. I downloaded on my playlist, and I actually have it on my airport, my airplane playlist. Just so that way I can feel like I'm with my son. And it comes on. But, but, but. Real fast. Real fast. I just want to say this, which is that we're gonna take a little.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, I was gonna say. Should we take a break before we get into the next part? Because here's what we know so far, yeah, it's unregulated. We don't know how it really makes you feel or I feel. Everybody feels differently when they take it.

[Alex]

And we're about to find right out right after this baby. Oh, gee, that smells like what? There has never been a scarier time to be on the Internet because everything you do on here leaves a little trail right back to your house. That's right. Everywhere you go on the Internet, you're dropping a little bit of your phone number, a little bit of your address, a little bit of your relationships. All of them for data brokers to gobble up and sell to strangers. That's why we've been partnered with delete me for a very long time now to make sure that we are protected ourselves. And I want you to get the same protection that we use for our household. Go to joindelete me.com Pearlmania20 to save 20% off a subscription today. And yes, a subscription, because deleting your information from the Internet is a constant struggle. Every time you take something down, things get popped back up there. So we want to make sure that you have that protection every time you click around. Once Again, join delete me.com promania20 to save 20% off subscription today or check down in the show notes for more. And we're back. Mrs. P. I. That was the worst thing I've ever smelled. I uncorked it as a joke.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And that smelled steak. Honestly, can I tell you.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I would rather someone drink actual gasoline from a gas station.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I like the smell of gasoline. You don't like the smell of gasoline?

[Alex]

That was the most northeast Philly thing you've ever said in your entire life.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I think it smells good. Wait, let me tell you something.

[Alex]

Speaking of the flavor, lavender smells good.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Lavender does smell good. I have fresh lavender from the garden in our room right now. I also, when I'm at the gas station and I get a whiff, I'm like, oh, that's nice. But, no, not nobody else.

[Alex]

You're alone on this one. Mr. Third, in the comments, Mr. Third, what are your thoughts on the smell of gasoline? It's gross.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, okay. Whatever. Just. I'll be alone on this. An island.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

An island person.

[Alex]

Okay. No, don't be an island man. Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I don't like being best friendly about a funny sidebar. It's not funny. It's not funny.

[Alex]

Not funny.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

But I went, okay. So I was reading about the kratom, and people were talking about, like, where it comes from in Thailand. And stuff. And the way that is used there.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And so, like, some people use it medicinally, but also in Southern Thailand, a cocktail that has become really popular with the youth, and it's become a severe problem with the youth. The kids call it 4 by 100. So 4 x 100. That's what they call it. They're like, oh, let's go have some 4 by 100.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And it's a mix of kratom leaf tea, cough syrup, Coca cola, and ice. Yeah. It's basically purple drank, or as the millennials used to call it, scissorp.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Remember that?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And so they make a really strong kratom leaf tea, mix in cough syrup with codeine in it. Coca cola and ice as a bev. And apparently.

[Alex]

Has anyone told Wiz Khalifa about this?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, we cannot let him know.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We cannot tell him.

[Alex]

It feels like this feels very Wiz Khalifa.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I start looking it up. I go into like. Like Thai newspapers because I'm like, I want to find out, like, more about this. And apparently it's a huge issue because it's a really popular with young people from the Muslim community because they can't drink alcohol, but codeine and Coca Cola. And drinking this stuff is not considered.

[Alex]

A sin because it's a tea plus, a medicine plus.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then I found out what I was reading even deeper, that sometimes when they don't have access to cough syrup, they use mosquito coil ash. And then I was like, what the fuck is that?

[Alex]

What?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So apparently in some Asian countries where they have big mosquito problems, obviously.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They have, like, this incense that comes in a ring and you light it up, and so you light it, and that incense burns and keeps the mosquitoes away.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They take that ash that burns off and it's toxic, but they put that in the mix with the kratom, and it gets them just as high as cough syrup.

[Alex]

What's the stuff. What's the candle that you light to keep the mosquitoes away here?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Citronella.

[Alex]

Citronella. I've seen them as, like, citronella coils here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So I don't. And this is. This is always how I get to this place in my mind of who figured this out.

[Alex]

Somebody was just reached and grabbed something.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Figured out that if they scooped up the ash from the mosquito coil, that that was gonna be a biohazard enough that you could drink it.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And get high off of it. These are the questions I ask, because drug addicts are fun people and they really think about some stuff.

[Alex]

Well, it's funny because you think about stuff like that, but I always think about the first person who ever hopped on the back of a horse. You know what I mean? Like, that's always, like, such an insane. Because, I mean, we didn't have saddles for a very long time. Somebody had to be the first guy to ride a horse. And I'm telling you, he needed to be up to do that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He probably had mosquito coil ash.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Also unrelated to this, I did also find that they also take cow dung and put it in bags and then huff the fumes the way that people here have painted. And I just think we. Okay, guys, we don't. Okay. We don't need to be this high.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Anyway, I just needed to tell you that that's what's happening with Kratom.

[Alex]

I feel like. I feel like in Thailand. Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I feel Thailand on a vacation, and somebody says, hey, let's go get some four by one, hundreds. Don't do it.

[Alex]

No, it's.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's a bad idea.

[Alex]

It's literally four loco times 100. Like, four local OG for local was crazy enough.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So I want to talk to you about a different drug.

[Alex]

Okay. I thought we were still talking about.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, we got to talk about a different thing. It's called kava. Have you ever heard of kava?

[Alex]

I feel like I have heard a v. A. I feel like I have heard of kava.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You have heard of it because there are, like, kava bars all over America. They're like coffee shops, but. Except they're the kind of coffee shop that sells acai bowls and vegan date bars.

[Alex]

Okay, Gotcha.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It's always, like, a healthy food bar.

[Alex]

Okay, I got it. It's one of those types of places where you're like, oh, this looks nice. And I say, absolutely the fuck not. Like, especially when we're down the shore.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

When I'm down the shore with you and I see a place that says acai bar, I cross the street.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because I don't want to be in the same neighborhood as that. As an acai boy, I don't trust.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And I'm like, I love a little.

[Alex]

No. And you know one of the reason why? One of the reason why. Because I literally go, what's a kai? And you're like, it's acai. I said, oh, shut up. And immediately I crossed the street and it's.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You know what's really annoying is that I mispronounce everything, but sometimes I say things. Right.

[Alex]

Yeah. No, that one.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That one you've held over Me, the entire network lady. What's her name? The one with the little body and big head, where she would be like.

[Alex]

How am I ever supposed to. How would I ever get that?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Somebody in the comments will write, how.

[Alex]

Would I ever get. Little body, big head, Food Network.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

She was really. She's really pretty. And she had an Italian cooking show. Giada. I don't know. Yeah, put that in the Google search. Mr. Third.

[Alex]

He's typing it right. He spelled body wrong. I just want you to know.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He spelled it Bati with two T's, but no. So she always did this thing where she. Yeah, that's her. Let's hop there.

[Alex]

How did that work? Giada De Laurentius.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, her. So she always had this thing where she.

[Alex]

Oh, she does have a big head and a little body.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

She would always do this thing where she'd be like, oh, we're cooking pasta, and we're using tomatoes and mozzarella. Oh, yeah, she would always do that. And, like, it would drive people incredibly insane because she'd be just talking that. She's like, pancetta. And you're like, okay. Either you say things wrong or you say things right. Okay. And for me, I usually just. Just stay saying things wrong because at least I'm consistent.

[Alex]

Well, you know what gets me is. Except when it's acai, the one that gets me. You want to trigger me on saying something too properly. Karate. Because I didn't do karate.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, you went to all karate.

[Alex]

I did strip mall karate in Delco, Pennsylvania. It was between a ravioli place and a dry cleaner. Okay. The way God intended. My instructor's name was Master dipiet. Okay. All right. You know what he told.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We have a picture. We have a picture from.

[Alex]

We have a picture from the last episod. That was me. He kicked me through a door one time because I. I forged my mom's name on a report card, and then he made me come back and repair the door myself. And he said, you'll never cheat again. And I said, I'll never get caught. And he go, that's what I'm talking about.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So, kava bars.

[Alex]

Kava bars.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

Sorry. I could. I forgot what we were talking about because this stuff gets to you.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. You weren't drinking that, were you?

[Alex]

Just sipping.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, okay, good. I want you to have moderation when you drink it.

[Alex]

I will.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So don't chug the whole thing. That's first and foremost.

[Alex]

Oh, there's a serving line. There's actually two servings in here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Huh?

[Alex]

Oh, man. I Would have done the whole deal.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Wouldn't anyone? That's my.

[Alex]

It's an airplane bottle.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You would just drink the whole thing.

[Alex]

This is an airplane bottle of crap. All right, go ahead.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Kava. Here's the thing. Kava is like, a thing right now. Like all the. The yoga, Pilates, crunchy maha. People love a kava drink. We love a cow because it's, like, a calming effect. And it. They allege that it gives a euphoric feeling. It's like. It's supposed to be, like, the opposite of coffee. So instead of going to a coffee bar to get up, you go to the kava bar to relax.

[Alex]

Just go to a regular bar.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well, there's a lot of people that don't want to drink. And so this is the loophole. Not a loophole. It's. It's this middle thing of, like, oh, you don't want to drink, but you want to socialize with your friends. Why not go to the kava bar? You guys can get kava drinks, maybe eat an acai bowl together. It's this middle ground for sober people because there's a huge market for places for sober people, because people that don't use drugs and don't drink alcohol are sometimes isolated, where there's not a lot of places they can go hang out and get, like. I want to use the term get loose. I want to use it loosely.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You know, like, feel a little bit calmer in that social situation. Because sometimes being social is anxiety inducing.

[Alex]

No, I understand that. I understand. And there does need to. And we've talked a lot about. On this podcast, and a lot of people have talked about the last bunch of years, the loss of. Of third spaces.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Alex]

Bars, coffee shops. A lot of people used to go to churches, and you would hang out, like, the parish hall or going to different locations where you could just hang and have conversations, and it would be affordable. And so this is a way to monetize another third space.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Alex]

Where you're not going to somebody's house. You're meeting at a third location.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then you can go kind of.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And they're saying, you can drink this kava drink. It'll make you feel chill.

[Alex]

But now what. Is there something nefarious about kava?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

What? I would never say that's. So I want to.

[Alex]

Is it another supplement?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It is. It's a supplement.

[Alex]

It's a supplement.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Completely unregulated. It's a supplement. They mix in the drinks.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And people are saying. People are saying. People are saying it's it calming that it makes you feel good. But there's no medical proof of this, of course.

[Alex]

None.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Right. Okay.

[Alex]

Got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, Now I want to introduce you to a guy. His name is J.W. ross, and he is the founder of feel free. Now, J.W. ross, the founder of Feel Free, his company is actually called Botanic Tonics. Botanic Tonics, and he manufactures Feel Free. Now, Feel Free is the blue bottle version of what you bought there.

[Alex]

Okay, got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay. It's a little different, though.

[Alex]

I do see just from looking at the difference between the two. And we're not showing the label of this one. The difference between the two is like this one definitely looks more just like Canva created.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

The Feel Free, it instantly looks like a. A better marketed bottle. Can I tell you what the Feel Free bottle looks like? This blue bottle right here, it looks like something that you would get at a spa.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes, exactly.

[Alex]

It's that blue glass.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Spa marketing is very. That. It's very yoga. It's very eucalyptus. It's very spa.

[Alex]

It's that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So you have to keep that in the back of your mind.

[Alex]

Oh, you know what it is? Santorini grease.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes. So J.W. ross, he's the founder of Botanic Tonics, and he makes this drink called Feel Free.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And he discovered, quote, I want you to say he discovered the benefits of the medicinal plant the South Pacific while recovering from alcohol.

[Alex]

He discovered kava.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He discovered kratom and kava.

[Alex]

Oh, he discovered both.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He. He's a colonizer in this effect.

[Alex]

Got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This is something that's been there for a long, long time.

[Alex]

So J.W. columbus. Yeah, sorry. Ross.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Ross.

[Alex]

He got there and he went.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Went there because he was detoxing from alcohol.

[Alex]

Did he discover meditation as well?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Alex]

Did he discover it all?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He's discovered a lot of white guy stuff.

[Alex]

It's amazing how he discovered all of these things that people were using already.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So I was like, J.W. ross, the guy who found this, founded this company, Feel Free, and who discovered how these things could help him get sober from alcohol. What does he have to say about it?

[Alex]

He didn't say sober. You said detox.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well, okay, we're gonna get there. Recovering sobriety, all these words are used very loosely.

[Alex]

Got it. Understood.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So I found this interview with him. He's so hard to find online. I need to say that it was difficult to find him online.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Anything about his history was very hard to find. I found a blog that he did from this page called Virago V A R A G O. And the thing that I thought was so funny immediately about this Virago blog is that Virago is an app that I use to schedule my hair appointments. It's like Virago is an app that, like, spas and hairstylists use to schedule you. I don't know why they have a blog and I don't know why they have a blog with him, but they. It's the one.

[Alex]

Yeah, I know why. Oh, we've done the history of chiropractic on the show. It's because spas and just like, the way barbers back in the day were doctors.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It's that same. Like, they.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It.

[Alex]

It's. It's not medical until the medical association grabs it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Until the FDA declares it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Until these different things. So it's open to anything. So anything that is kind of like. Like, woo, woo. Or like acupuncture. Any of these different things. Yeah. All of that different stuff can fit into the spa. And the spots are always looking.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Spas, hair salons. All these different places. They're always looking for, like, how can I get another product? How can I upsell you? How can I add another thing? How can I differentiate myself from all these other different places? Well, hey, come in here. I mean, listen, when I remember when my barber. The first time my barber offered me a glass of wine, I looked at him, was like, chuck, what the you talking about? Yeah, I was like, chuck, you don't even talk to me. Yeah, he's like, you want a glass of wine? I said, why? The salon down the street, they offer a bottle of water or wine? And I said, what type of wine do you have? Because I don't know. And it was a box of Franzi. I was like, chuck, why the fuck would I want just.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I love that. When did that happen? How long ago you think this was?

[Alex]

2011. Okay, so it was a while ago. But it was like, you started to see that come in where it was.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Like, I like what? They're just like, we got to get the boys on this.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They were like, how do we pop Sloans? We've been there.

[Alex]

No, I know. That's what I'm saying.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Anything. I have complaints that we've gotten less of it because after the pandemic, because people weren't in person for so long, and then we started coming back in person, a lot of hair salons got away from, like, the real. I'm gonna say, opulence of a hair salon visit.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Like, there was a time where you would go to a hair salon, you would get a scalp massage with, like, rosemary tea tree oil, and they massage your scalp, and then they'd wash your hair and do a deep treatment, and then you'd get your hair cut and blow dried. And like, like, they bring you either tea, champagne, mimosa, or a diet Coke in a can. Love that.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then there have been salons where, like, I would get, like, they give you like a hand massage while they were blowing out your hair or. And then the whole time they're selling, they're upselling you. Oh, my God, you need this lotion, you need this hair slick. And we've gotten so far away from that in salon culture, where it's like, I don't know, do you want to buy it? Whatever. We don't make any commission off of it. And like, everything is priced out. So, like, you don't even get a blowout unless you're going to pay for it separately. So, like, a lot of people just leave the hair salon with wet hair now because they don't want to pay the extra 20 bucks to get their hair blown dry.

[Alex]

Oh, really?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So everything is like, down to each thing.

[Alex]

Meanwhile, a men's haircut, they're like, it's between 35 and 55.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Alex]

Depending on where you go.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I need to tell you something, and this is gonna make me sound like a bougie.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Is that when I go to a hair salon, I. That. That one or two hours where I'm there. I want that experience so badly.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That like, please, please put it back on the menu.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

When I went to beauty school, which is. I don't know if we ever talked about this. I went to Gene Madeline, which is an Aveda school. I don't even think it exists in Philadelphia anymore. I think went out of business and we spent so much time learning all of that stuff. And like, having gone to Gene Madeline and Aveda spas, I'm like, please bring it back.

[Alex]

Well, you know what it is, what it is? It's. It's the same way. It's private equity.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And it's corporatism coming in. And they're just cutting anything extra.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

That was part of the customer service experience. So instead of what you're describing is like a four star fine dining experience.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

That. Is that next to that, they're comparing to McDonald's.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And they're like, oh, we'll just slowly. You only need one fork.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You don't need a white tablecloth. Suddenly, before you Know it. Everything is Ruby Tuesdays and Bennigans.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And they're slowly, yeah, malacharting everything. Okay, time for our weekly stand up comedy wrap up.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Alex. I didn't get to any stage shows, but I did switch to T Mobile with their new Family Freedom offer.

[Alex]

Okay, I'm waiting for the punchline.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well, my old phone bill with AT&T was a joke, so I'm doing a whole new bit with T Mobile. They paid off my family's four phones up to 3, $200 and gave us four new phones on the house.

[Alex]

I gotta work this into my routine. Introducing Family Freedom. Our lowest cost will switch our biggest family savings all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com FamilyFreedom up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card. Typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement eg Apple iPhone 16, 128 gigabyte 82999 eligible trade in eg iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact T Mobile. Hi, I'm Chris Gethard and I'm very excited to tell you about Beautiful Anonymous, a podcast where I talk to random people on. I tweet out a phone number. Thousands of people try to call. Talk to one of them. They stay anonymous. I can't hang up. That's all the rules. I never know what's gonna happen. We get serious ones. I've talked with meth dealers on their way to prison. I've talked to people who survived mass shootings. Crazy funny ones. I talked to a guy with a goose laugh. Somebody who dresses up as a pirate on the weekends. I never know what's gonna happen. It's a great show. Subscribe today.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Beautiful Anonymous.

[Alex]

Back to JW Ross.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, so JW Ross, he's on Virago. That's how we got here.

[Alex]

Yeah. Listen, I want to just say real fast before we finally get back into it. Yeah, Hell of an aside.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I love an aside.

[Alex]

This is. We opened a big old tab on.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It, built on the side. Yes, Feel Free Tonic. This is. These are from this article. Okay, okay.

[Alex]

From Virago.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Feel Free Tonics have two primary ingredients. Ingredients Kava root extract and kratom leaf. Kava is a beverage known for its its sedative and anxiety reducing properties. Kava originated in the South Pacific and Southeast Asia where it is consumed for centuries as a drink used in relaxation ceremonies. The root of the plant was Ground into a fine powder and mixed with water to create an earthy tasting, somewhat bitter beverage. In fact, the word kava translates to bitter. Okay. Like coffee. Coffee is bitter. It's fine. It was while taking part in such a ceremony that Ross first saw the potential of kava as plant based medicine. This is when he saw the potential.

[Alex]

Okay, sure. Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

At one time, Ross was a highly successful oil industry executive who had everything, including an alcohol addiction that was, quote, accelerating faster than his success, end quote. It became damaging to his relationships, and Ross was convinced his alcoholism would kill him or land him in jail.

[Alex]

Wait, hold on. Okay, hold on. Yeah, Wait.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

He was an alcoholic oil executive.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Alex]

So we have an alcoholic big oil executive, travels to Thailand.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Alex]

To get sober.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's where you go to get sober.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Not a church basement.

[Alex]

No. And then he came back with a whole new addiction for people that he could market.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I think you're seeing how capitalism works.

[Alex]

I just. What the fuck are we talking about here? This is the worst episode of White Lotus yet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Following Lorazepam.

[Alex]

Lorazepam.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Following a difficult piper. No. J.W.

[Alex]

Ross. No Buddhism.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Following a difficult intervention in hospitalization, Ross took an extended sabbatical. He researched.

[Alex]

He didn't even quit. He didn't even quit being an oil executive. He just took extra pto. Yeah, that's what sabbatical means. That means you get to take extra.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You know what? You're right. That's what a sabbatical means when you're writing it in a blog. He took a sabbatical.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

He researched neuroscience and studied plant based medicine for several years in Southeast Asia. So he went to Southeast Asia and studied neuroscience.

[Alex]

Okay, yeah, sure, sure. Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

During that time, Ross experimented with many different combinations of herbs, Kava being one of them.

[Alex]

That's just doing drugs.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, I mean, he went to Southeast.

[Alex]

Asia and he did drugs.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because he was too drunk to be an oil executive.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's what I.

[Alex]

That's how I'm reading.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm here.

[Alex]

In my opinion. In my opinion, this is what I am reading into.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And real quick, left his wife and kids behind and go do drugs in Thailand for a long time.

[Alex]

And real quick, real quick. Just. Just in case, please join [e-mail] because I have a damn near feeling that we're gonna need it for our legal defense fund from Mrs. Pearl Mania's very loose, possibly incorrect research.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, this is. I have no idea what I'm talking about. This is from a blog.

[Alex]

These are all just opinions and jokes because this is a very funny hitter.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

History podcast.

[Alex]

Comedy history podcast that. That is covering quacks right now. Because we just love ducks.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I just think he's a quack. This is my opinion.

[Alex]

And we just. And honestly, we think that we're geese. That's what we think we are.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, but not in the way that cops are like geese or geese are like cops. Not that way. Yeah.

[Alex]

ACAB includes Canadian geese.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So we. He's gonna find the right formula by using himself as a guinea pig. Okay.

[Alex]

Oh, that. That. That's exact. That's the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. No, no, hold on. That is Doctor. That is the plot of Dr. Jekyll and Mister Hyde. He's like, I'm gonna end the evil in the world. I'm gonna extract it from men. And then he drank it, and Instead he becomes Mr. Hyde, who is the pure version of evil.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So a drunk oil executive went to Thailand, discovered an extract, drank it, and came back and started spreading it around the world. Are we sure this isn't the Body Snatchers? This is in Sci Fi Stories. This is how you mind control a populace.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well. Well, he wanted to create an alternative to, quote, social lubricants that would create a sensation of, quote, chill energy.

[Alex]

I want to still get drunk.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I want to get drunk, and I don't want you to be weird about it. That's what he did.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Ross described this as being simultaneously relaxed and focused with a euphoric feeling, but without being intoxicated. I just don't want to feel the way I feel, but I want to not feel the way I feel without being drunk.

[Alex]

I want to be able to drive and get away with it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Alex]

That's what this feels like. That's what this feel. I'm sorry. That's what this feels like.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Quote.

[Alex]

Hey, real quick, real quick, Mr. Third. Real fast, Mr. Third, look over here. I need you to put across the bottom of the screen for, like, the last. I don't know, since we mentioned this guy's name. All of this is opinion. Please do your own research. Okay. Just put it across. I wanted to have been up here the entire time.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Disclaimer. These people have no idea what the. They're talking.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We don't know what we're doing.

[Alex]

Sure. This is. You are watching a series of idiots.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This is a quote. I needed something I could use on a regular basis that wouldn't interfere with things like working, driving, or exercising.

[Alex]

I still needed. Wait, say just the first, like, five.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I needed something I Could use.

[Alex]

Okay, there we are. Oh, my God. Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

And then I could get it for $10.30 at a gas station.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This is 13. Ross finally found it. Launched it finally found and launched his company in May 2021. In three short years, he reported that Botanic Tonic sells 1.3 million servings of feel Free per month.

[Alex]

Per month?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Per month?

[Alex]

Per month.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Per month.

[Alex]

Per month.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

1.3 million servings per month at $13 a bottle.

[Alex]

Per month?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Per month.

[Alex]

There's 12. How many months? There's 12 months in a year.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Once in a year.

[Alex]

That's like 15 million bottles a year.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep. Mm. So he has money to sue us is what I'm saying.

[Alex]

Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying is like, hey, his name is. He's a cool guy. He's real cool. He doesn't look old at all in his Google image search.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep. So Ross describes his journey in detail from this lowest point. Emotional, emotionally. He was at his lowest point, but studying with a Chinese herbalist and setting up a lab in his basement to start his company.

[Alex]

Wait, hold on. Okay, Wait, hold on. What?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

What?

[Alex]

A basement lab? This is a meth story now? You've taken me through so many times.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, no, no. This is just a garage startup, babe. A garage startup. Got it.

[Alex]

Got it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Like Steve Jobs.

[Alex]

Yeah, okay. Got it. He's like Steve Jobs and he has a. He has a Chinese doctor in his basement. Were they all naked, wearing masks to make sure nobody steals any of the product?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Ross states that feel free has no known negative side effects when used in moderation. Okay, okay. Anything he said can cause dependence or toxicity if consumed in an inappropriately large quantities.

[Alex]

If you get addicted, you're doing it wrong.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Alex]

It's on you. You're doing it wrong. If you get addicted to my gas station weird shots.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Quote, anything that makes you feel good from alcohol, caffeine, sugar, or sex, you can become dependent on. End quote. It's not his fault.

[Alex]

Ross, are you addicted to sex?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Can you want to pull up this video I have of him on a podcast? I don't know what podcast, but I have JW talking about his thoughts on this.

[Alex]

Anything that makes you feel good can be habit forming, whether that's sugar, sex, whatever. The question you should ask is, if I consume this on a regular basis, is it going to hurt me? Because if you find something that makes you feel good, you're going to consume it on a regular basis. And, you know, we've not seen any.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Data that would say that it.

[Alex]

You know, Unless you're just go crazy on it, which, you know, you can OD on water if you want to have too much of. It happens at raves all the time.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So that's JW's thoughts.

[Alex]

You can OD on water.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You can, but it takes a lot of water.

[Alex]

It takes so much water. And they're not charging $13 for a bottle of this size.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yep.

[Alex]

It happens at raves. It happens at raves. Yeah, that's.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's a good bar. That's a good bar to set.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Raves all the time. Should be the bar we're setting.

[Alex]

Yeah. You know what? I. You know what I trust? I trust the. The alcoholic oil executive with a Midwestern accent to tell me people OD on water all the time. You. You get some cava in you.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

What the are we talking about? Also, I've only ever heard of one person. Does he mean drowning? That's how you won't eat. No, I know you can drink too much water. You can actually drink too much water and it up your system. But it's. It's like such an insane amount.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So much water.

[Alex]

And the only time I've ever heard of actually of something close to that is they had a gallon challenge where people had to drink water and not pee and then their bladder burst.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Great.

[Alex]

And because it was one of those ones where, like, you had to keep a hand on a car.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

For a radio station. I heard about one of these for we. They were like winning a we. Yeah, was. I think I was one other one too. But there's a few of these different type of thing where people have died from that because of, like, their. Their bladders burst. Also, famously, Tycho Brahe, which we did an episode on. My favorite guy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Tycho Brahe, the astronomer who also kept scientists in a dungeon for no fucking reason. Yeah. This is just. What are we doing?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So Ross has reiterated that consuming Feel free at the prescribed quantity and dosage will not cause any.

[Alex]

You're not a doctor. You can't prescribe anything. You're a doctor. Oh, my God.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The ingredients in Feel Free enter the body more slowly through a much different process. Problems arise. Ross says when human beings process natural ingredients in such a way that it's easier to get large quantities into the body, that dose raw says, becomes a poison.

[Alex]

Okay. So if you do too much of it, it becomes a poison.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay. But that's his thing about anything.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I'm surprised he didn't say air. I. I'm surprised. As an oil executive he didn't say, honestly, you know, not having more carbon dioxide in your body, that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's the problem.

[Alex]

That's the problem.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The kava root extract and Feel Free has sedative effects which can help promote relaxation and reduce racing thoughts. The athletics program of the University of Texas, Florida State University and the University of Southern California have adopted Feel Free as their official tonic. Now, that was the case. I don't know if it's still true, because their logos were on the website at one time using the Wayback Machine. But the logos for those universities aren't there at one point. But at a certain point, universities were promoting this tonic to students as a way to chill out.

[Alex]

Specifically, Feel Free.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, A Feel free to. He had that. Okay.

[Alex]

And Feel free.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Has kava and kratom.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. I did want to point out. Have you noticed that he never talks about kratom? He only talks about kava.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Pointing that out there.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay. So real quick. Remember when I said that he said at one time, Ross was a highly successful oil industry executive who had everything, including an alcohol addiction that he feared was going to convince. He was convinced it was going to kill him or land him in jail. Remember when I said that?

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

What if I told you he did go to jail?

[Alex]

What?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Did go to jail, huh?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well, actually, Jerry Dale Cash went to jail and was sentenced to nine years in prison and had to pay back $5 million in restitution after he, quote, diverted 10 million in company funds. Because Jerry Dale Cash was the CEO of Quest, an oil and gas exploration company based out of Oklahoma City. Jerry Dale Cash changed his name, and that's why I couldn't find anything about him online. Do you want to take a quick break?

[Alex]

Did you just boom me again? Did we just get boomed? I just had to make a doctor's appointment, and I just made it very easily to deal with the skin condition that's happening directly underneath my eye because I had to use Zocdoc. I've been putting off this appointment for a little bit just because of life and time, and it's gotten so bad that Mrs. P is literally putting makeup on my face to make sure that you can't tell how baggy my eyeball is. And I finally was like, this is crazy. I should go to the doctor. So I went to Zocdoc, and, guys, I'm gonna be seeing the doctor in two days. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment like I just did with a dermatologist. They have in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty. So no matter what's wrong with you, ZocDoc can help and can get you an appointment typically within 24 to 72 hours of when you want it. Finally, healthcare that works for you. And with your incredibly busy schedule, stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com tabs to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c-o c.com tabs zocdoc.com tabs I would just like to remind everybody that this is a comedy podcast. It's only meant for entertainment purposes only. And all people mentioned inside the podcast are characters that are living inside of a ridiculous fan fiction written by a community college graduate named Mrs. Pearl Mania.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And is being reacted to by her husband who goes, you are just listening.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

To my psychosis like, my name is Kendra on TikTok.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, you know what that's about. You're online, baby.

[Alex]

Yeah, you're terminally online. If you're. If your chat GPT has convinced you that your therapist loves you, then, guys, this is the podcast for you. And then get yourself some Kraton, knock it back with some kava and put it right in. I'm so ready. Let's go do slot machines at a Pennsylvania gas station that used to be a Wawa, baby. Fetterman sucks.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You can't break them from that one.

[Alex]

No, you can't.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

When Jerry Cash got out of prison. Okay, this is. This is a story that I had to make up because again, there's so much missing of this story that I can't find. And I. If I dig too deep, I'm afraid he's going to come find me. So.

[Alex]

Okay, wait real fast, because I had to look it up. At one point, though, I just want you to know the way I'm picturing JW Waros in Thailand.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Is Sam Rockwell in White Lotus?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Alex]

It's Sam Rockwell.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Rockwell in White Lotus.

[Alex]

It's Sam Rockwell and White Lotus trying.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

To get off booze.

[Alex]

But I feel like telling us that really insane model. Honestly, the whole time, I felt like White Walton Goggins.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

As you've been talking, just doing this face.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

We listen and we don't judge.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We listen and we don't.

[Alex]

Except me. I judge. I'm going to judge as hard as I can.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So Jerry can Cash gets out of prison. I assume this is when he goes to Thailand.

[Alex]

Do we know around what year?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Because again, we don't know anything about this backstory of a person who's selling drugs that are unregulated. Great. That's when we should definitely be listening to supplements. Supplements. So he changes the name to J.W. ross at some point and starts this company. There's so much history missing from the Internet. I did find one video on YouTube where this guy, like, like, was talking about JW Ross, and JW Ross reached out to him and was like, I joined the witness protection program because of Nazis. And like, this whole thing, it's crazy. And I don't want to get into it, because that's not. I don't want to get into it.

[Alex]

But if you join the witness protection program, you know, you famously don't do.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Start a company with your name and then go on podcasts.

[Alex]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then do interviews with Virago.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alex]

Which also, by the way, while we took a little break, I literally got a text from the salon, and I was like, oh, my God, it's from Virago.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Shut up. Really?

[Alex]

Yeah. Because they're like, yeah, your hair pulled. Appointments coming up. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, I need to confirm.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So here's what I want to do now. I want to take you on a quick peruse of the Feel Free website.

[Alex]

Okay. Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay. I want to show you how we're marketing.

[Alex]

Okay, tell me about how we're marketing.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So if we could pull that up so he can see, but immediately ask.

[Alex]

Us if we're 21 plus.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, 21 plus.

[Alex]

Which I did also notice on this bottle. It does say that it's adults, 21 plus only, keep out of reach of children, which I think is common for cray. Tom, also, while you've been talking, I have looked at the product facts on this.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

This also has kava root extract is the main kratom leaf extract. And then there's some other stuff, but then under other ingredients. Other ingredients is water.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's crazy, because those things are first water.

[Alex]

Yeah, most things would be water first. And so there's only a little bit of water in this. It's mostly kava and kraton.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay. So we're looking at the page, and.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

As you can see, this is beautiful market. This is. We're jogging, we're experiencing nature. We're doing yoga and pilates. We're having fun with our friends. So this is what's being marketed. This idea of, like, you're energized you're elevated, you're focused. This is for healthy people.

[Alex]

Yes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This isn't for gas station drugs. This is a healthy people supplement. Who are outside. These are outside people.

[Alex]

Yeah. No, I see, I see. They're all very skinny. They're all very nice. They're. Yeah. The jogging clothes.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Very Lululemon.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It's very Lululemon, Yes. So next we're going to go to the main bottle. I want to show you what you're buying at the store. So I have a picture here in the tabs of what's. When I. Okay, so here's what I'm saying. When I looked at it online, I couldn't find the information that is on the bottle. So click on the bottle blue screen there.

[Alex]

This one right here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And now we can see what it says. Directions only. Take 1oz half bottle by mouth at a time. Do not exceed 2 oz. One bottle in a 24 hour period. Shake well and refrigerate after opening. This product contains Leaf Kratom which like caffeine and alcohol can become habit forming and harmful to your health if consumed irresponsibly. Consider avoiding any potentially habit forming substances if you have a history of substances. Substance abuse. This is being marketed in the past. He in his byline on his blog interview was about how this is supposed to help people with substance abuse disorder. And then there's a warning on here that says consider avoiding this if you have a history of substance abuse disorder. Right.

[Alex]

That's crazy because the almost the same, this different company that I got here.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Has almost the same exact label. This is the warning label that's on this bottle. The opening line says this product contains kraton extract which like caffeine or alcohol can become habit forming and harmful to your health if consumed responsibly. Irresponsibly.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Consider avoiding any potential habit forming substances if you have a history of substance abuse.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I wonder if it's made by the same company. I, I from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Can you read that small?

[Alex]

No, this is distributed from Dover, Delaware.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Delaware.

[Alex]

Yeah, this is, they're doing that, they're doing the Wilmington loophole on this one, baby.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

State.

[Alex]

Yeah. This is from Dover, Delaware.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Dover.

[Alex]

Yeah. This is love. Yeah, this is. They call this one a plant based tonic.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, well, yeah, they're all plant based.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

So isn't everything.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, I mean some drugs are made.

[Alex]

No, I'm saying for tonics though, in general, like most things are like everything eventually has to come from either a plant Right. A vegetable mineral. Right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So then here's the other thing I found out while perusing. If you look at the top there, it says shop all store locator. Learn and subscribe and save.

[Alex]

Subscribe and save.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's right. You can do a subscription service on this.

[Alex]

Oh.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Where you get. They automatically send it to your house so you don't have to go to the gas station.

[Alex]

Oh, look at these. Oh, this makes it so much easier. So we have feel free classic tonic, a six pack and 12 pack starting at $59. Feel free cava mate.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

That's a 12 pack, 24 servings. Y. Which is because there's two per bottle and they're all these, these size bottles right here. And that's for $105.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alex]

There's. And then there's pills.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. So if you don't want to do the shop because you're too much of a like liver King said you can do the pills.

[Alex]

The pills.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Which again they also sold at the gas station.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes.

[Alex]

And, but they don't have it listed here. But the gas station also had powders, I think so you could mix your own.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That's what we need to be pharmacists at home.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So you can make a subscription service but also they have a rewards program.

[Alex]

Just like Marble Miles.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Just like Marble Miles. Actually I was like, just like Ulta. Cuz I was looking at the point system and I was like this is just the Ulta.

[Alex]

But this is also. This also looks like the Ulta website when I'm looking at it. This is very much. This is. I, I mean I'm just letting you know right now Squarespace going crazy on this cuz it's just very much.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Hey, Squarespace, can you sponsor us so that I can build us a website?

[Alex]

Yeah, that'd be nice.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Or if in the comments.

[Alex]

Honestly, if you want to just see what we're about, go to Promania 500 net and you can check out our Patreon get ad listening. Or if you made some comments during this one, we're probably gonna react to them in a couple weeks on our Patreon exclusive podcast called the After Party.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, we respond to comments. It's super fun.

[Alex]

Check it out over there.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So here's the thing. Okay. Here's the side I went on. I started looking at this points thing because you know, I love points. I'm an Ulta girly. I love a points.

[Alex]

You get really mad at me whenever we go to a place and they're like, okay. And your store card, I go, I don't have one. And they're like, shut the fuck up. And then you lean over me and put a phone number in. And then like, it's $10 off. And I'm like, how did you do that? And you're like, cause I just listened to the system.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I list magic of people points.

[Alex]

Okay?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So here's the thing. I start looking at their point system because I'm like, I want to know what the rewards are for this potentially addictive substance. Because as someone who has been addicted to drugs before, yeah, there were no rewards. No, I didn't have a point system to be rewarded on.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

There were literally only negatives.

[Alex]

Yeah. So coke dealers never give discounts.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They never. They're like. They're like, hey, there's not so many times I can buy off of him. And then he will then give me one free. Yeah, it's usually the first ones for free. Much like our episode of the After Party that came out free this week. Yes, the first one's free, baby.

[Alex]

Yeah. We want to give you guys a little bit of taste of that audio only experience.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So I got into the point system and I find out that you can get 10 points. I can add it to your account if you follow them on Tick Tock, which honestly, some people should do because currently they only have 7,000 followers on TikTok.

[Alex]

Really?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Because here's what happened. That Tick Tock I showed you at the beginning has gone viral. Everybody's talking about feel free online right now because they've been doing viral marketing. They've been having influencers drink this stuff and make mocktails with it and be like, no, it's delicious and it makes me feel good. And I just did a 5k and I'm celebrating with a ginger beer, feel free, tonic cocktail, mocktail, whatever. So basically when this went viral the other day, everybody's talking about feel free and about all this addiction that's happening with it. Because now there's also. I found out a Reddit. That's the feel free Reddit, where people are sharing how they're getting off of it because they're so addicted to it. And they're sharing about buying like eight bottles a day. And like, like we said, you're only supposed to do half a bottle. And so, like, there's all these people talking about it on TikTok. And so what happened is everybody on TikTok is like, commenting, like, attacking the page, like they do. You know what I mean? Like, they're on the field for free. So feel free. Has all their comments turned off.

[Alex]

Oh, right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then.

[Alex]

Because they're not like the older millennial.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Alex]

Because the older millennial got tased. He was a guy who's a really annoying. On Tick Tock.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

He's a maga guy. He got tased by the police and the body cam footage got leaked.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And in it, he's screaming, I'm peeing. I'm sorry, I'm peeing.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well, he should have just complied.

[Alex]

And then people were commenting. Every time he's posted, people write, I'm peeing, I'm peeing. And he was just like, whatever, you're giving me engagement. I'm like, that's not how it works on Tik Tok, buddy.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

How it works.

[Alex]

That's not how it works there.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Feel free. Tik Tok currently has, like, not many followers.

[Alex]

It's getting brigaded.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It's getting brigaded. And there's, like, influencers that have made Tik Toks in the past.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And they're also having to shut down their accounts or, like, turn off their comments.

[Alex]

Yeah, I bet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So here's the thing. I. I went looking at the. To see who these people are.

[Alex]

The influencers.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

The influencers. Oh. Because then guess what? As I find out, what is that? They also, if you like, okay, so if you're in their point system, and also you're like, follow us on Instagram, you get 10 points. I'm like, those shouldn't be the same. You should be more points for one or the other. Because in a shock to no one, this company on Instagram has way more followers. They have 62k on Instagram. Because grifters do really well on Instagram. Yeah. Seed, you know, seed oil quackery does really well on Instagram, but you still only get 10 points.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And also, I looked at the point system further. You have to get 150 points in your account to get a $15 credit. And that's only one bottle. Because one bottle is $13. So you're really having to gather all these points to get one free bottle.

[Alex]

This feels very much like when you see a crackhead collecting can. Yeah, this is. This is. This is can collecting. They're just making you do it across the Internet.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

To try to gain up all these points.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yes. So then, okay, so now I'm on Instagram and I'm looking around. I'm like, who are their influencers? Because I'm going through their feed to see how they're Marketing.

[Alex]

Yeah. And you're seeing who's doing collab.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And their whole Instagram gives very Austin, Texas meets Florida retirees, Yoga influencers, Mural Maha skateboarders, Alpha mindset influencers. Pilates, girlies.

[Alex]

Idiots. Idiots. They're targeted. It's idiot marketing. They're targeting all the dummies.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And my personal favorite, which I did not know existed, Golf influencers. I didn't know there was such a thing as golf influencers.

[Alex]

Really.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And so I was like, wait, there's golf answers. And so there's this one lady, her name is Blair O'. Neill.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And she had. Has 509K on Insta. Right. She has that. She has thousands of people on Instagram follow her, right?

[Alex]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't seen her, but I've seen other golf. I've been fed other golf influencers like her.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay. So the thing is, on TikTok, she only has nine followers. Yeah. And she's currently set to private, so I think she's getting roasty toasted.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And so again, I'm shocked to find out there's golf influencers.

[Alex]

Oh, I'm not. Because it's. Because it's a niche. It's a niche. And she's blonde and she has big boobs. I can see that from all the way over here as Mr. Skirt, Mr. Third scrolls through it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And all of these, this is all just like very maga coded on top of that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So the. Okay, so here's what I start looking at her bio.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And I want to like figure out who she is. Cuz again, I'm now, now I'm in a complete sidebar. I'm a golf influencer. Who is this person? And turns out she was a professional golfer. At some point she had an injury and shifted to modeling.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So she becomes a model and she gets cast on a TV show on the Golf Channel. Here's a new thing I learned. I didn't know we had a Golf Channel.

[Alex]

I didn't know that's. That's on you. The Golf Channel's been around for like 30 years.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It's a big deal. Apparently. It's a big deal, this Golf Channel. Yeah.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And she was on a reality show on the Golf Channel called Big Break. And she was the first runner up. So she didn't win. She was the first runner up. But do not worry because she was offered another reality show as a co host this time.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Not as someone who had to like, play the game. She was going to be the co host of A reality golf show. And guess what the show was and who her co host was.

[Alex]

No idea.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World of Golf. That's right. So I have a link here.

[Alex]

You've gotten us from Kraton to Trump.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Here's a picture.

[Alex]

Oh, my God. There's a picture.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

There's picture of opening night. And you will not be shocked to see that they are hanging out with Ms. Teen USA. So there's a bunch of teenagers hanging around opening night for Donald Trump's Fabulous World of Golf that she's co hosting. And then.

[Alex]

God.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So wait, can I tell you? I went on another aside. So now I'm very far away from.

[Alex]

What we talked about. So many tabs deep. I'm still trying to get back to the gas station.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Shut up.

[Alex]

And we're now at Mar a Lago.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm gonna tell you about Miss Teen usa, because then I'm like, oh, my God. Miss Teen usa. He's hanging out with these young girls. Because he definitely is always hanging out, pictured with young girls. And I'm like, so who is she and who did she grow up to be? And her name is Stormy Bri Henley, and she was Miss Teen USA this year. And I found out when I looked at her wiki page that she as was once in a relationship with Lucky Blue Smith. Do you know who that is?

[Alex]

Why do I know that name?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I'm gonna tell you. Because she has a child with Lucky Blue Smith. And Lucky Blue Smith is married to Nara Smith, the queen of Internet tradwives.

[Alex]

Oh, my God.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

She is. I put a picture of her up. I have pictures.

[Alex]

Okay, okay. I see it. I see it, I see it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

She is TikTok's Golden Trad wife. She is the one directly above Ballerina Farms. Okay. And so we have a full circle moment. I am too many tabs deep because I found a trad wife in this story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alex]

I don't know how you did this.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Do you want to take a little break while we consider.

[Alex]

I need to take a break because once you hit me once Nora Smith appeared.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Nora.

[Alex]

Nora, yeah. Nara.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Nara Smith.

[Alex]

That's what. You know what I want to say.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Nar. Let's take a break. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance.

[Alex]

Companies to see if you could save some cash?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Alex]

Let's map out this week's amazing destinations and travel tips.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Honestly, Will, I didn't plan any trips, but I did switch to T Mobile with their new Family Freedom offer.

[Alex]

That's not the itinerary we're following.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well, I'm departing from ATT and embarking on a new journey with T Mobile. They paid off my family's four phones up to $3200 and gave us four new phones on the house. Bon voyage.

[Alex]

Introducing Family Freedom, our lowest cost. To switch our biggest family savings all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com familyfreedom. Up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card. Typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement, eg Apple iPhone 16128 gigabyte $8029.99 eligible trade in eg iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits. End and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact team. Okay, and we're back.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We're here.

[Alex]

And I want to repeat again, this is a podcast. For entertainment purposes only. Nothing being said on this podcast should ever be taken seriously.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This is a comedy podcast.

[Alex]

I have spoken to a series of lawyers who are directly off screen and they want me to reiterate that also Nora Smith, NARA Smith. Nara and Lucky Smith.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Have no relation to either Kratom Kava, JW Ross or what was the other name?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Donald Trump.

[Alex]

No, the other JW Ross is possibly Cash. Jerry Cash. They just happen to have Lucky Smith used to be married, right?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No, they weren't married. They had a child together. Lucky Smith had a Teen USA who was Miss Teen USA while Donald Trump.

[Alex]

Was owned Miss usa. Because Donald Trump had to sell Miss Teen usa, the second Teen girl beauty pageant that he owned, but he had to sell that one. I think Shortly it was 2015 or 2016 after he said that all Mexicans are rapists. But before Jeffrey Epstein mysteriously died in federal custody while Donald Trump was in charge of the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So anyway, get off of that. We gotta talk about their website, similar.

[Alex]

Of what website?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We're going back to the feel free website.

[Alex]

Oh, my God. We got so far away from. Somehow we're gonna end up back at the gas station, right?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Maybe.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay, so listen here. I want to show you their merch page.

[Alex]

Who's.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Who's merch feel freeze merch page.

[Alex]

Got it. Okay, let me pull it up. Okay. Oh, they got merch.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

They got Merch. Okay, now look at this merch here.

[Alex]

I'm looking.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Cashmere hoodie, twelve hundred dollars. Cashmere beanie, $175, and a feel free sweatshirt for 75.

[Alex]

75 for a sweatshirt.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I want to tell you something. Our honks not quacks too many tab sweatshirt costs 42.99. It's so comfy, cozy. You want a T shirt. $32.99. Delightful T shirt, good quality. You can get comfort colors, baby. Comfort colors. And we would never sell you a hoodie that cost a grand when you're buying gas station supplements. That's crazy.

[Alex]

Gas station supplements for a man. When I ask, so what does this stuff do? He looked at me dead in the face, said, I don't fucking know.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I don't know.

[Alex]

Did people just keep buying it up.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It makes you down, it makes you happy. It looks sad. They might cause erectile dysfunction.

[Alex]

They might as well just say it makes you go sideways.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because that's what it feels like from reading.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

How much of that have you been drinking?

[Alex]

Just enough.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

Just enough to get through.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Just enough to get through.

[Alex]

I'm just trying to get through the day. All right. Yeah, we have a lot of stuff going on. I'm probably gonna get banned from TikTok because I can't stop talking about Jeffrey Epstein.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because I got pink elephanted.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like, oh, don't talk about this one thing. That's all I want to fucking talk about. Then my wife shows up and says, go to the gas station. Go get this thing that's supposed to make you calm, hyper. And I said, okay. And then I brought it home, and you were like, all right. And I jokingly took a sip, and now you're starting to explain to me that it might be being run allegedly by an oil executive criminal for. Went to Thailand and said, sam Rockwell, this white lotus brain.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then came back here and then pushed it through a bunch of influencers on Instagram and big titty golf girls.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. So anyway, there's a class action lawsuit.

[Alex]

Oh, against feel free.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah, against feel free. Thank God someone filed a class action lawsuit.

[Alex]

Okay. Those are still legal.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Well, for now.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

For now.

[Alex]

For now.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So he basically said that he. This guy who filed the lawsuit. I'm gonna really summarize this. He had, like, eight years sober. Seven or eight years sober. Alcohol.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And he started getting fed ads for feel free about how, like, it could make you feel good, but it wasn't addictive because it's just kava, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so he went and bought it and then got hyper addicted to it. And so he. He saw, filed a class action lawsuit against them.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And when I went to check on this class action lawsuit, it's already been settled out of court. Oh, they Botanic Tonics did not admit any wrongdoing. That's in the thing. They do not admit any wrongdoing. They did settle for $8.75 million in the class action lawsuit. So if you were harmed by Feel Free, you should reach out to a lawyer and see if you can be on the class action. Anyway, under the terms of the Feel Free Wellness Tonic settlement, class, members can receive a cash payment based on the number of Feel Free bottles they purchase. Purchase. So if your numbers are up there, y', all, I'd reach out to them. Now, all that being said, class action lawsuit already been settled. Whatever that's. That's happened, that guy is gutting his money. Good for him. Okay, now we were talking earlier about how you can pull a certain drug out of a main drug the way you like. THC comes from weed and CBD comes from weed. Right. The THC is the part that gets you really hot. High.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Not the CBD part.

[Alex]

Right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So in Kratom, the. The. The. The byproduct, the thing, if you like, really dissolve it down, there is a really part that gets you high. And on the street. On the. In the streets, if you will. It's called 7O. Like Ohio. Oh, seven dash.

[Alex]

Oh, like Ohio is crazy. Like Ohio.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Listen, I just asked Michigan for forgiveness. Yeah, sorry, Ohio.

[Alex]

Yeah, we didn't realize that. I guess months and months ago, we made a joke about Michigan and somebody joined our Patreon. When we gave them the shout out, we're like, why are they telling us?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It turns out I said something mean about Michigan. My bad. But anyway, this is called seven around the high. Oh, no, I'm just. Seven oh is a byproduct of.

[Alex]

Well, if you're in Akron. I mean, I would do Kraton if I was. Oh, what else are you gonna do?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Akron is actually the founding place of Alcoholics Anonymous. Did you know that?

[Alex]

I did not know that.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

That.

[Alex]

That's why it's perfect to target them for marketing if they have. If Akron, Ohio, is swimming in that many alcoholics.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Exactly.

[Alex]

We gotta get Kratom into all of their gas stations, baby. Listen, you guys want to talk to us about putting a sponsorship here on this podcast? Get us to get. Make people drink Kratom. We'll talk to us.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We're not Gonna listen.

[Alex]

We gave better help our number and they said that's ridiculous. But I feel like if you're an oil executive who spent some Sam Rockwell time white lotusing yourself inside of a Chinese meth basement, you might have the amount of money that we want to talk to the people. And I've seen some of the people, some of the podcasts that Kratom and other different people have sponsored themselves with. We'll get into that in a minute.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So. No, we're not. Here's the thing. You might. You glancingly talked about it when we looked at their website. Right? Yeah, the. The feel free tonics. Have a new tonic that's just come out out. It's the, the kava and yerba mate. Here's the thing. I love yerba mate. I have yerba mate downstairs. I love a yerba mate with like honey. It's a good flavor, it's a good tea. I love it. It has a good amount of caffeine. Great. So they're, they're rolling out this new drink about kava and yerba mate. Why are they doing this? Well, recently the FDA just took steps to restrict seven opioid products threatening the American consumer by the fda. Because last. Last week, last week, when I started this research last week, RFK Jr came out and said, we need to take a strong stance against this because it's being heavily marketed to children, specifically through gummy candies and other such things, and it's too easy for them to access. So RFK Jr. Is, is technically the hero in this story as his FDA is currently trying to change how we access Kratom. And the reason when we pulled up the website, I told you to scroll down. So you didn't see the yellow bar is currently on the Feel Freeze website. At the top they have a big announcement in yellow that says FDA reinforces safety of natural Kratom leaf. Because the big thing is the Kraton people are trying to pivot away from seven dash, okay. And say we are not the controlled substance as part of this controlled substance act. That's seven. Oh, we are different. We are the natural supplement, leafy green part of it. And so there's this been this break in the kratom market where they're trying to differentiate themselves. And so there's all this infighting. So the other day when I was doing all this research, the people on the Internet that love Kratom are going crazy because they're like, no, we're different. We just need it for this. And those 7o people are abusing a drug and blah, blah, blah. So there's all this infighting, and it's wild, and I couldn't even keep up with it. But I need you to know that somehow, some way, I think RFK Jr's on the right side of this.

[Alex]

You know how evil you have to be. Do you have any idea how evil of an alcoholic oil executive who. White Lotus himself. You know how evil for rfk, for this is. Listen, I might cut the end of this episode. I don't feel comfortable airing that. To say that rfk and the RFK's FDA might be doing something right.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I don't know.

[Alex]

I don't know. That feels.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

It feels wrong the other day. It feels wrong to say that during Quack month.

[Alex]

It feels wrong the other day. Christy Noem.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

About three weeks ago, Kristi Noem came out, and she said, you can leave your ears. You can leave your shoes on at the airport.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And. Yeah.

[Alex]

I don't like that. They've done two things I might like. I don't trust it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

What's the. When's the other shoe gonna drop at the tsa? But I'm also looking here at their. Their thing they have with the FDA synthetic drug crackdown. And they really are. They're truly trying to be like, no, no, we're the leaf. We're the leaf.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And I'm like, we're natural.

[Alex]

You're not, though. You're not. Because it's a liquid. So you. You're not natural.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Rule.

[Alex]

You still have to extract something.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You're still doing something to get this stuff out here. And so I'm sure that they're trying to claim that this stuff that I got at the shady gas station is not the same of that stuff that you get at a different shady gas station.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

You get them at the same shady gas station. If you would have went into the same shady gas station and said, I would like 7o, they would have given you a different set.

[Alex]

It's funny. He did say a bunch of different random. Like that. Like, that's the thing that was crazy is the guy did have a whole spiel on which ones to ask for, but I don't think it came from the gas station. I feel like he's dealt with so many fucking junkies.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Who were addicted to Kraton, that he went through all these different ones. But that's just so.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

So here's. Here's the thing. I want to close on a different note. Right. I want to close with. With showing that it can get better, right? It can get better from this, from, from. Maybe you have drank a lot of Kraton and it hurt your life and maybe you became addicted to it. It and, but, and you were struggling. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So I want to play this video to show you that. Okay?

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

A year after that first time I had Kratom. Kratom had completely changed my life in a negative way. I couldn't function without taking Kratom probably every four hours. And I quit cold turkey that day and suffered immensely. I had the worst withdraws I'd ever experienced in my life. I kind of thought I wasn't gonna get through the nights. I was sweating through my bed sheets. I was taking multiple baths a night because my restless legs were so bad. And that's when I knew that something needed to exist to help people through this in a natural, non habit forming way. And that's when we consulted with doctor doctors, naturopaths and we created Quick K. But I think the best thing about Quick k is honestly the 5 HTP, the Ashwagandha, the L theanine that helps really improve your mood so you don't fall back into these bad habits. Griffception. She's a remora on the shark underbelly of Kraton. That's right. We've created a quack within a quack. We need pills that are unregulated to get off our unregulated pills.

[Alex]

That's so insane. As I'm watching the video, I was looking because the tick tock handle moves around when you download the video. And I'm looking at, I'm like, why does it say supplements? And then when she hit the. That's why I started. We figured out a pill. I was like, shut the up. But also, but think about this. So an, an alcoholic. An alcoholic travels to Thailand to discover medicine to get him to not want alcohol, right? So he creates a thing to get him off of that. Which people then get so addictive that this other lady then has to create a thing to get him off that. This is that joke, this is that, that thing of like, oh, you know, we had the boll weevil so we had to bring in the, the this thing and then we had to bring.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

In this thing and this, the mice. So we got the cats and then the cats needed this way.

[Alex]

The dog got the gorilla and then it was a whole different thing. I'm like, eventually there's just like, like as somebody who had to quit cigarettes Almost over two years ago. Like, yes, there are. There are things that you can do. Like, yeah, you can go like, I did the patch and stuff like that. And it did help. But. But like, that part of quitting is just. It's sucking. A big part of quitting is just like, oh, this, this sucks, and I hate it so much.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Yeah, that's a big part of it.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I need you to know that I cackled because I was like, I was going through and trying to find like, okay, how are people getting off of this?

[Alex]

But also.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

And then for her to be selling a supplement she made to help quote people, an unregulated supplement.

[Alex]

Oh, but also she just starts, like, listing off new drugs we've never heard of. I'm like, what. What country that is currently under a dictatorship did you just walk through the rainforest of and then claim that you picked.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I love it.

[Alex]

Like, what is 10 out of 10 for quackery? Oh, my God. You know, the best elite, the best part is, have you ever heard of you. I know you don't know what this is. Okay, Legion of skanks. Do you know what that is?

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No.

[Alex]

Okay, so legions of skanks is the. Which is where I've seen Kratom targeted before. Young dartball men.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Okay.

[Alex]

All right. Again, in the Rogan sphere and all these different guys, because they. They do a. They do a big thing called Skank Fest. So it's a big festival. And like, I know comedians who performed on and different stuff like that where they go. And they'll go to like, Vegas or they'll go to New Orleans and stuff like that, and they'll do a bunch of series of shows and it's recordings of live podcasts and all that different stuff. Well, with the one year every time the guys are up there, it says Kratom and giant letters behind it. I mean, this industry is making so much money, they can just throw it at podcasts that are being targeted. Lots of people. Lobbyists and lobbyists.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah. Because they're lobbying the government to make sure that they can keep it on the market.

[Alex]

Yeah. Because here's the thing I will say about the RFK reveal. I think part of this is giving my cut because RFK has always been a big part of Big Woo Woo. Yeah, rfk. And through his nonprofits and all the other different bullshit that he's always done, he's always said on one side that the pharmaceutical industry, the vaccines are poisoning and killing you, and then he's offered you methylene blue or some other different weird thing. And they're always in about this size. Extra extract.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

This side. By the way, if you get anything that comes out of this type of bottle, immediately be like, maybe I should go talk to a doctor.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

If anybody walks up to you and goes, hey, man, I know what your problem is. Let me give you this bottle that was invented in 1890 for snake oil salesmen.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

No. Because this is the exact shirt you're wearing. Oh, yeah.

[Alex]

It's the same bottle.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I didn't do that. I didn't do that.

[Alex]

When we sent it to the. To the artist.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And we're like, this is kind of.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

What we feel them to be holding a little snake oil bottle. I didn't even know it was going to be blue, like, but as soon as it was blue, I was like, no, exactly.

[Alex]

And the blue bottle of the feel free bottle is. It is such that glass. It is that. It is very much that. That blue glass. That evil eye.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Type of Greek eastern med type of feel. So fucked up. It's so insane. So can I tell you the one thing I thought was really crazy? Because this stuff is highly being targeted at people who listen to podcasts, especially the Maha ones. All this different stuff, the crossover. Let me tell you how smart it is. Drink Kratom.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Get erectile dysfunction. Dysfunction.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

Eat blue. Chew.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh my God. It's a cycle of a money making deal.

[Alex]

It's a cycle, baby. We're gonna make sure that you can't sleep, you can't be awake, you can't get a boner unless you keep putting all these things inside your fucking body. And the whole time we're gonna tell you that the real problem is the fluoride in your water. And you need to sign sunlight on your teeth because the liver king says that's how you keep the cavities away. Okay, time for our weekly stand up.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Comedy wrap up, Alex. I didn't get to any stage shows, but I did switch to T Mobile with their new family freedom offer.

[Alex]

Okay, I'm waiting for the punchline.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Well, my old phone bill with AT&T was a joke, so I'm doing a whole new bit with T Mobile. They paid off my family's four phones up to $3200 and gave us four new phones on the house.

[Alex]

I gotta work this into my routine. Introducing Family freedom. Our lowest cost will switch our biggest family savings all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com FamilyFreedom up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card. Typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement eg Apple iPhone 16128 gigabyte 8 $29.99 Eligible trade in eg iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact T Mobile.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Ever notice how ads always pop up at the worst moments when the killer's identity is about to be revealed during that perfect meditation flow on Amazon Music, we believe in keeping you in the moment. That's why we've got millions of ad free PODC episodes so you can stay completely immersed in every story, every reveal, every breath. Download the Amazon Music app and start listening to your favorite podcasts. Ad free included with prime.

[Alex]

Well, Mrs. P, you boomed me.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

I. I'm really grateful that you allowed me to boom you.

[Alex]

You boom me. You boom me harder than I've ever been boomed. And I just want to say thank you so much for your research on this week's episode of our Comedy History podcast that no one should ever take seriously. Especially from a legal standpoint. Yeah, but everyone out there, stay away from Cray Tom. If you know anyone who's taken, that's.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Just our suggestion, just our opinion to stay away from it. You know, this is do whatever you're going to do.

[Alex]

This is the devil's juice.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

We're not the boss of you. We don't know what the devil's juicing.

[Alex]

But we will boss you to join us at Pearl Mania 500 net and you can get a shout out on our afterparty, which we will have have for this episode in quite a few weeks.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

Oh my God. I can't wait to see the comments.

[Alex]

Whoa. We want to see your comments down there. Thank you guys so much and have yourself a wonderful day and we'll see you next week with more Quack month. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers. And we're starting to feel like we've got too many times of open it too many times. Remember to smile.

[Mrs. Pearl Mania]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try [e-mail] progressive casualty insurance company and defense affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

[Alex]

Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now, and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn Ads, go to libsynads. Com. That's L, I B S Y N Ads. Com. Today.