Ranking The 21 WORST Bald Men Alive | TMT 179

Summary

Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500

Episode 179: Ranking The 21 WORST Bald Men Alive
Original Release: May 31, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this hilariously unfiltered episode, the husband-wife duo behind Too Many Tabs tackle a topic both petty and profound: "The 21 Most Evil Bald Men Alive." Inspired by an irritant of the week (Kevin O'Leary), they create a tongue-in-cheek tier list, blending roasted takedowns, wild trivia, random detours into wrestling, and the occasional actually admirable bald person. The couple debates the nature and ethics of baldness, power, and evil—sometimes with research, more often with gleeful bias.

The show delivers a two-hour spree through villainy (and virtue) among the world's most hairless power-brokers, celebrities, and meme lords. There’s serious critique of corruption, misogyny, and late-stage capitalism, but also plenty of marital banter, mock-wrestling commentary, and a healthy dose of absurdity.

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Main Discussion Points & Structure

1. What Makes a Bald Man Evil? (00:15–02:20)

• Not all bald men are evil: “Not all balds. Hashtag, not all balds.” (01:55)
• Admits that many bald people just like being bald, or lost hair for normal reasons.
• Mrs. P. jokes that she herself was bald when they met.

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2. Origin of the Tier List–The Kevin O’Leary Rant (02:20–21:33)

Why Kevin O’Leary is the “Inspiration” for This Episode

• Kevin O’Leary (Shark Tank's "Mr. Wonderful") is, in the host’s words, a “Canadian businessman who is evil” (03:40).
• O’Leary nearly bankrupted Mattel by selling them a company at the peak of the dotcom bubble; Mattel lost billions and had to settle lawsuits because of alleged shenanigans and loss-coverups—“This is considered one of the most disastrous corporate acquisitions in recent business history.” (05:39)
• Was found not at fault in a boat crash that killed two people, but the couple jokes about the weird internet legalese surrounding public discussion of the case.
• O’Leary pushed for government bailouts when FTX (crypto exchange) collapsed, despite risks being well-known — “Kevin O’Leary demanded that the government make him whole. … And it worked.” (09:07)
• He currently wants to build a massive, unpopular AI data center in Utah (“Project Stratos”); accused all local protestors (including young white local women) of being Chinese Communist Party operatives. “You remember FTX? Kevin O’Leary was the spokesman…” (07:42)
  • Notable quote (re: activists): “He said that all of them are Chinese spies and agitators.” (13:08)
  • Protestor clapback: “We are not taking the criticism of anyone who is wearing flip flops and a suit on national television.” (Gabby Finlayson, 14:21)
• O’Leary blamed people making $70k for buying $28 lunches; gave insane, out-of-touch financial advice: “Kevin o' Leary basically said… his mom would go out and buy one nice Chanel jacket a year.” (17:12)
• Hosts agree: “I want Kevin o' Leary deported from America and have him be refused. Business.” (21:16)

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3. The Evil (and Not-So-Evil) Bald Men: The Tier List Explained (19:04–93:55)

The Tier Names and Logic (19:04–21:07)

• S Tier: Mr. Worldwide (Pitbull)
• A Tier: Emotionally Luscious (“Bald, but with the spirit of great hair”)
• B Tier: Botched Betty (Unfortunate bald outcomes)
• C Tier: Papa Tui (Harmless, misguided, or commercial balds)
• D Tier: He Gone Gollum (Corrupted, shriveled, formerly good)
• E Tier: Mountbatten Level Cursed (Generational/Hereditary Evil—think Prince William)
• F Tier: Prohibited By Community Guidelines (So bad/bad to talk about, or legally/socially radioactive)

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Notable Entries (with Timestamps & Quotes)

Kevin O’Leary

• Category: Prohibited By Community Guidelines (21:33)
• “If they did, we could sell some [Sponges]. … Kevin o’ Leary is just a businessman who is evil.” (02:32–03:43)

Bob the Drag Queen

• Category: Emotionally Luscious (25:02)
• Bob is a “control,” included as a positive existence proof among balds. “Author, comedian, reality star, drag queen. You name it, they nail it.” (24:26)
• “Please, please, please come on [our show].” (25:12)

Dr. Phil

• Category: He Gone Gollum (27:36)
• “He’s gone Gollum because… his precious is the evil of the world.” (27:26–27:35)

Joe Rogan

• Category: Mountbatten Level Cursed (30:23)
• Noted as a pipeline to greater evil (platforming, podcast pipeline). “He is not a good stand-up comedian. … a stool humper, a bag of shit.” (28:21–28:30)
• “Millions of people across the globe are going to die because he helped platform Elon Musk.” (30:04–30:19)

Howard Lutnick (Secretary of Commerce)

• Category: Prohibited (34:49)
• Epstein associate, donor to House GOP before hearings, and involved in obscure financial evil. “Never in modern US History has the office of Commerce Secretary intersected so broadly and deeply within the financial interests of the Commerce Secretary's own family.” (NYT quote, 34:05)

Triple H (Paul Levesque, WWE)

• Category: Mountbatten Level Cursed (43:29)
• Drug storylines, racism allegations, blackface, anti-union/profiteering. “He’s male genetically with the McMahons. … He’s gonna have… the crazy inbred jaw.” (43:39–43:52)

Jeff Bezos

• Category: Prohibited (50:20)
• “Union busting, data center building, drone pushing, Katy Perry rocketing, Venice renting scumbag.” (46:13)
• “He changed his name to Bezos because that is the name of his Cuban refugee stepfather, Miguel Bezos.” (46:21)
• “He purchased and gutted the Washington Post…He pity was busy at the time.” (49:25)

John Fetterman

• Category: Prohibited (51:02)
• “John Fetterman is a terrible person. Just a complete awful man… staunch, rabid, genocide, genocidal Zionist…” (51:12)
• “He is typically the only Democrat that will cross aisles to keep things like the Iran war going, the blockade of Cuba and the complete and other devastation of Lebanon, Gaza and more.” (52:04)

Charles Barkley

• Category: Emotionally Luscious (54:20)
• “If you're gay and transgender, I love you. Hey, if anybody give you, you tell them Charles said you.” (53:37)
• “That's a hundred percent what that is. Yeah, go ahead. And you put him in emotionally luscious hell, yeah, dude…” (54:20)

John Travolta

• Category: Botched Betty (55:31)
• “Have you seen online…everyone’s obsessed with, like...he keeps talking about, like, they're not kangals. No, but they're close.”

Pitbull (Mr. Worldwide)

• Category: Mr. Worldwide (55:48) Special S-tier
• “Just telling you guys right now, if anything bad comes out about Pitbull—no, it doesn't. I need that. I need Pitbull. No.” (55:57)

Louis CK

• Category: He Gone Gollum (64:41, after lengthy abuse/MeToo context)
• “Louie's back. And I don't think a lot of people understand where. Why Louis was gone and what happened.” (57:46)
• “There is nothing about this that I forgive myself for and I have to reconcile it…” (61:36; quoting Louis CK’s statement)

Marc Andreessen (Tech VC Billionaire)

• Category: Prohibited (70:21)
• Claims introspection is a “modern invention,” funds reactionary politics and AI “takeover.” Compared to “Egghead from Batman.” (69:05)
• “He is one of the people who is constantly pushing that we should replace human beings with AI and he’s all around just an evil guy.” (70:28)

Michael Jordan

• Category: Papa Tui (73:40)
• Noted for commercialism and pettiness, not overt evil. “He’s commercialized. He has a good image, but he's like still kind of an ass. That's very Papa Tui.” (73:18)

Vladimir Putin

• Category: Prohibited (75:59)
• “He has suppressed speech. He has murdered and assassinated political rivals and dissidents using things like polonium, plutonium, windows, literal shootings.” (74:54)
• The hosts avoid “triggering the bots online”: “Let’s not ruin our reach of our episode.” (76:04)

Stanley Tucci

• Category: Emotionally Luscious (77:40)
• Mrs. P.: “Stanley Tucci. I'm not gonna put him in Mr. Worldwide because that's for Mr. Worldwide. But he is emotionally luscious in every single way.” (77:41)

Stephen Miller

• Category: Prohibited (Prohibited by Community Guidelines) (78:44)
• Notorious Trump advisor and architect of nativist immigration policy. “Prohibited by community.”

Dana White (UFC President)

• Category: Prohibited (83:03)
• “He. He is Joe Rogan's boss… is doing the UFC at the White House and saying that it's not political…” (80:21)
• Started “Power Slap” after slapping his wife publicly; “This is the. One of the things. Dana White is one of the more evil people on this list.” (81:17, 82:37)

Trixie Mattel

• Category: Emotionally Luscious (87:58)
• “I feel like it's emotionally luscious.” “If they're overt about it, like Trixie is like, get it… go get it, go get it, go get it.” (87:55–88:13)

Mike Tyson

• Category: Prohibited (89:37)
• Convicted rapist, notorious violence, troubled personal history.

Donald J. Trump

• Category: Mountbatten Level Cursed (92:20)
• “He has kids. He has grandkids… the kids are evil, too.” (92:21)
• Hosts note his hair restoration surgery as a loophole for baldness status.

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4. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Kevin O’Leary blaming activists for being “Chinese spies”:
  “He said that all of them are Chinese spies and agitators.” (13:08, Pearlmania500)
• Activist Gabby Finlayson clapping back:
  “We are not taking the criticism of anyone who is wearing flip flops and a suit on national television.” (14:21)
• On baldness and prosperity gospel:
  “Rich people do, especially the ones who slowly start falling towards prosperity gospel, is the idea that they're rich because other people are dumb and don't deserve it.” (17:24)
• On Charles Barkley’s ally-ship:
  “If anybody give you shit, you tell them Charles said: fuck you.” (53:37, Charles Barkley)
• On Michael Jordan:
  “He’s commercialized. He has a good image, but he's like still kind of an ass.” (73:18)
• On Mrs. P’s TikTok Lesson:
  “Us having social media together started...you not understanding why Stanley Tucci can get it. And then like 4 million women getting in your comment section to be like, you fool, Stanley Tucci is the female gaze.” (76:59)
• On emotionally luscious dinner:
  “This would be an incredible table. Oh, the conversation, the meal. Tucci's there. Charles Barkley's there.” (88:48)

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5. Time-Stamped Highlights

00:15–02:20: Defining “evil bald” and the scope of the episode
03:00–10:30: Kevin O’Leary’s crimes against corporations, the FTX scandal, and Utah AI data center
13:00–15:00: O’Leary blames protestors for being secret Chinese operatives; activists punch back
19:04–21:07: Tier list categories explained
27:36: Dr. Phil, from Oprah monster to Gollum
30:23: Joe Rogan, Mountbatten Level generational curse
34:49: Howard Lutnick’s Epstein and corruption ties
43:29: Triple H, wrestling politics, and the McMahon dynasty
50:20: Jeff Bezos, Amazon’s litany of evils
54:20: Charles Barkley, LGBTQ+ ally and all-around emotionally luscious
64:41: Louis CK, MeToo, career fallout and ugly comeback
70:21: Marc Andreessen, reactionary egg-shaped AI villain
77:40: Stanley Tucci, deliciously emotionally luscious
83:03: Dana White, violence, Power Slap, and UFC dark side
87:58: Trixie Mattel, drag excellence, fun capitalism, and full emotional lushness
89:37: Mike Tyson, violence, criminal past
92:20: Donald Trump, hereditary evil and the question of hair restoration

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Final Rankings Table

(select names by tier; order reflects podcast flow, not objective evil!)

| Mr. Worldwide | Emotionally Luscious | Botched Betty | Papa Tui | He Gone Gollum | Mountbatten Level Cursed | Prohibited | |---------------|---------------------|--------------|----------|----------------|-------------------------|------------| | Pitbull | Bob the Drag Queen | John Travolta| Michael Jordan | Dr. Phil | Joe Rogan, Triple H, Donald Trump | Kevin O'Leary, Bezos, Fetterman, Lutnick, Marc Andreessen, Putin, Stephen Miller, Dana White, Mike Tyson |

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Closing Thoughts

• The episode is equal parts roast, exposé, and affectionate chaos.
• The hosts blend deep dives (especially into corrupt business figures) with characteristically honest, playful banter, occasionally shading into something close to investigative journalism (especially on O’Leary, Rogan, WWE, Lutnick, etc.).
• The tier list is only half-serious—used as a vehicle for both comedic and sometimes scathing social commentary.
• Bald men everywhere: the hosts claim, “This isn’t about you if you’re bald. It’s about these evil balds.” (94:12)

End quote:
“This would be an incredible table. Oh, the conversation, the meal. Tucci's there. Charles Barkley's there. ... Cook me like a lobster.” (88:48, Mrs. P.)

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For a full transcript, check the episode description or visit the Pearlmania500 website.

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This summary skips ad breaks, tour plugs, and unrelated digressions in accordance with guidelines.

Transcript

[A]

You may think you know McDonald's drinks, but you don't know them like this. From fruity refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon refresher and the Mango Pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavored sprite topped with cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six. All new drinks are here. Try them all now at McDonald's. Refreshers contain caffeine. There are many types of hairstyles out there, including not having any hair at all. And some of the people that have no hair at all, they're evil. Not all of them, but some of them. Notallbalds. But this episode is about balds. 21 of the most evil balds that we could imagine. Are all balds evil again? No, not all balds are evil. In fact, right now, there are two bald men currently in this house watching our son downstairs so we can speak upstairs, talking shit on balds, many of which that are evil, including John Fetterman.

[B]

Too many times.

[C]

Remember to smile.

[A]

Welcome to Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit next to each other at a table. And today's episode is a tier list. That's right. Mr. P got put in charge of an episode and Mr. P immediately started making a tier list because Mr. P got very mad at one person, decided to find one specific thing about their being and then dial in on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A little too much. Maybe a little hyper focus on them. Today's episode is about evil bald men like Lex Luthor.

[B]

He just put an action figure on the table. Lex Luthor, who I think has already made an appearance in one of our episodes.

[A]

He's already made an appearance on one of our episodes. But Lex Luthor is not in this tier list.

[B]

No. Because he's not real.

[A]

He's not real. No. This is a list of 21 of the most evil living balds that currently are out there. Now, I do want to put a little addendum on there.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Not all of the people on this list are evil.

[B]

Not all bald people are evil.

[A]

Not all balds. Hashtag, not all balds. And it's not any personal fault that they go involved. There's, there's, there's, there's the hair correction surgery that.

[B]

Yeah, Turkey.

[A]

Yeah. Gender affirming care. There's medication for it. But also some people just want to be rocking a bald. I get it.

[B]

Yeah. For sure.

[A]

We all want to be.

[B]

I was bald when we met.

[A]

You were bald. And I said, I bet that chick's crazy. And you were like, I am. And then you stabbed an Ottoman. Okay, now, Mrs. P. Yeah. The reason why I got mad at evil balds this week.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is because of one person in particular. Who?

[B]

Which bald was it?

[A]

It was Kevin O'. Leary.

[B]

Who's that?

[A]

Kevin O'? Leary? Yeah. You don't know who Kevin O' Leary is? No. Mr. Wonderful.

[B]

Mister. I thought that was Pitbull.

[A]

No, that's Mr. Worldwide.

[B]

Great.

[A]

He's a bald Mr. World. Mr. Worldwide is a ball. Actually, this is Mr. Wonderful from Shark Tank.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

He was also in Marty supreme, that movie we didn't watch.

[B]

No, I did not watch.

[A]

Yeah, we did not watch the Timothy Chalamet movie. But Kevin o' Leary is a Canadian businessman.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Are you familiar with him yet?

[B]

I know Shark Tank people from, like, seeing commercials for that sponge that has a face.

[A]

The sponge has a face.

[B]

It's like the. The Mrs. Mommy sponge. It's like. I don't know. It was like a sponge that went.

[A]

Oh, that's the one that. Is that the one that I always get tagged in on. TikTok. Because they have a yelling guy and they're like, mania. Yelling this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, they didn't pay me.

[B]

They would if they did, though.

[A]

If they did, we could sell some.

[B]

That's the only thing I don't know a lot about Shark Tank. There was the lady that also does real estate. There's the people. It's. You just go in front of them and then you try to pitch them stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you're saying, this one bald guy is one of the guys. They get pitched.

[A]

He's one of the guys. He, like, sits next to Mark Cuban and somebody else, and they pitched up at him. And he's famous for being, like, really good at business.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

A lot of people think he's a billionaire, but he's not a billionaire.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Kevin o' Leary is just a businessman who is evil. I do want to say he's evil, but he also was. He and his wife were found legally not at fault when there was a boat collision late at night that struck another boat that killed two people in a lake. That was not the O' Leary's fault. Neither Kevin O' Leary or his wife, Mrs. O', Leary, or the O' Leary cow from Chicago that kicked over that they're not related to them. Okay, so wait.

[B]

Okay. They did not do this.

[A]

They did not do this.

[B]

Theoretically. There was a boat out on a lake at night committing lake crimes.

[A]

There was A boat on the lake that didn't have its lights on. And Kevin o' Leary and his wife were in a.

[B]

Not kill people.

[A]

They were in a separate boat. Let me finish, please. You're a paralegal. You understand how this goes on our comedy history podcast that are all jokes that there was a boat. People that were, like, stargazing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At night on a lake.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

They didn't have any of their lights on.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Okay. Kevin o' Leary and his wife were in a separate boat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

His wife was driving the other boat.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

They had a collision.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Two people died.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Kevin o' Leary and his wife were found not at fault.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Because the other boat didn't have lights.

[B]

They never lights on.

[A]

And if you say that they did and it was their fault, you will have to post really confusing tweets saying that what you said is legally wrong. Because Kevin o', Leary, who I can say in my opinion is an evil Canadian businessman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Does have a lot of lawyers.

[B]

Got it. Well, because he's an evil businessman.

[A]

Because he's an evil businessman.

[B]

He has part of being an evil businessman. Nobody talks about Batman and how many lawyers he has.

[A]

So he nearly bankrupted Mattel.

[B]

The toy people.

[A]

Yeah, the toy, like, Barbie, Mattel.

[B]

How do you bankrupt. Okay, wait, explain this.

[A]

Okay, so let me just explain. Okay. This is considered. Actually, it was considered one of the most disastrous corporate acquisitions in recent business history.

[B]

Okay, great.

[A]

There's a thing called the dot com bubble.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know the dot com bubble in the late 90s?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was. Everybody made a website. Oh, my God. It's the same way. Like, everybody had an NFT the same way everybody needs to have a data center. And we'll get into those. He had this company that he sold to Mattel. They sold it for nearly $4 billion around there.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Kevin immediately sold his stock at the height of the valuation, only to see $3 billion in shareholder value get wiped out in a single day. Because Mattel started looking into the company, and then that company that he sold for $4 billion got sold off by Mattel for $27 million.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's a big difference in numbers. Yeah. Kevin was also fired by Mattel about six months into the acquisition because they were like, something here. Fuck you. That's how he got rich enough to then get on the TV and be like, I'm a rich. You know, kind of like a president.

[B]

Was that insider trading?

[A]

It's not considered insider trading.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

But he did get away with it, because then he Merely popped over to tv.

[B]

I mean, that's. That's the formula.

[A]

Yeah. And these. The sources for this, by the way, are Wikipedia. The Mattel shareholders later filed a class action lawsuit accusing Mattel executives, Kevin o'. Leary. And the former CEO of the company was called TLC because it was like a learning video game company for, like, kids in schools and stuff like that.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Got to get it. They were all sued for misleading investors about the health of the company, TLC, and the benefits of its acquisition. The lawsuit alleged that TLC used accounting tricks to hide losses and inflate quarterly revenues. In response, o' Leary and his defendants disputed all the charges. But Mattel later paid 122 million to settle the lawsuit across the board in 2003.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. Mattel was like, all right, we just need to make this go away. Even though we have these massive losses, we're now going to pay even more money to recoup those shareholders.

[B]

That's nuts.

[A]

Yeah. So that's why Kevin O' Leary is on Shark Tank listing as Mr. Wonderful, the smart investor.

[B]

Wow. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, he. Speaking of smart investments.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You remember ftx? No, the ftx, the crypto share company. Right. Sam Bankman fried.

[B]

Yeah. With the guy with the hair.

[A]

Yeah, he had the hair. He was like a creepy. Was like, there's a picture of Sam Bankman fried, like creepily, like hiding in bushes or like plants. Very cuck. Like, like, he's watching. And then it came out that the FTX was like a weird polycule in the Bahamas.

[B]

Yeah, I remember all this.

[A]

Yeah. They're all just sucking and down there.

[B]

Whoa. Can you say that on YouTube?

[A]

We're late enough into the episode.

[B]

Oh, man, we might have to bleep that.

[A]

I can't say it twice.

[B]

Twice.

[A]

Anyway, so they're down there polyculing, and they were doing, you know, NAFTA's. Yeah. And they were doing it doesn't sound like business. It was basically a giant Ponzi scheme. But anyway, Kevin o' Leary was the spokesman and one of the high investors of FTC's.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And when it went under. Yeah. Kevin O'. Leary, even though none of this stuff was covered by fdic, which is a Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Yeah. And everyone tells you when you're an investor, you can put your money into an investment. There's no guarantee you're going to make money out of it. Kevin o' Leary demanded. Demanded that the government make him whole. The United States Federal government.

[B]

The government paid for his mistake.

[A]

The government did eventually pay for his mistake and made him whole by selling off things that FTX had and other. But Kevin, Kevin went on all of the cable channels, he flexed all of his social media and television and media might and was like, I need my money back. And he did that.

[B]

And that worked.

[A]

And it worked. Yeah. Wow. Because he has money and connections.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

So. But anyway, that's. Again, this is a man who's be a smart investor. So just, just. I just want to just go and paint a picture right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Famous evil Canadian bald by because reminder. He's Canadian.

[B]

Canadian.

[A]

Kevin o' Leary is not an American citizen. He's a Canadian businessman. He has citizenships in Canada.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ireland.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And the Emirates.

[B]

But not here.

[A]

But not here.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Emirates, huh?

[A]

Yeah, the Emirates.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Famously like I just listed a bunch of different places where you can buy citizenship. O', Leary, he probably went back and was like, no Irish Zionism. And then he went to be able to claim Irish citizenship.

[B]

Whoa, whoa.

[A]

I think, listen, I like Connor o' Malley a lot. Okay. Anyway, I want to bring this up because as you see, we're starting to follow a pattern here.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

He was at the dot com bubble burst.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

He's at the NFT crypto bubble burst. So what do you think he's involved in now?

[B]

What do I think people are hyping up for business to make a lot of money that I don't believe is going to have long term success. Hmm. Is it AI data?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It's almost as if you heard me screaming in the other room earlier this

[B]

week into my phone every day.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Yelling in your phone about AI data center.

[A]

Yeah. Kevin o' Leary now is part of an investment team that wants to build a 40,000 acre data center. And in Box Elder County, Utah.

[B]

40,000 acres?

[A]

Yeah. It's 62.5 square miles. I actually did the math on the entirety of Box Elder county and the square mileage. It's 1% of the entire county.

[B]

How many football fields do you think that is actually?

[A]

I don't know. Somebody actually did list it as football fields. But to me, like listing football fields.

[B]

The thing is, in America, this is American specific.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Many Americans can only do the math of size based on football fields.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because it's just an American. It's like guns and football. That's how we look at things.

[A]

Okay. It's. It's approximately 30,500American football fields.

[B]

30,000 football fields of lined up of data of data center.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

1% of the county as a whole.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He wants to build that big of a data center.

[A]

That big of a data center?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And people, locals to the area are not happy about it.

[B]

Oh, are you serious? They don't want that.

[A]

Yeah. It's called Project Stratos, by the way, because that doesn't sound terrifying.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So Project Stratos here, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Locals spoke out against it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's some activists as well, were like, hey. And they started going to these meetings. And one of the things that happens with a lot with these data centers. Yeah. Is the data center companies show up. And I'm not saying this particular thing happened with this data center, but they'll show up to county supervisors, local town committees or others, and oftentimes they'll come in, they want to speak to the city council people, and they'll make them sign NDAs, and basically the whole thing kind of happens to the side and like this, like, meeting addendum, not quite public, and then by the time it's said, it almost seems like a done deal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And basically that's kind of what happened here. There has been some accusations that one of the local county supervisors or county commissioners recently bought land for an undisclosed amount of money right by the data center. So there could be some things, other things involved.

[B]

He's not going to live there. Nobody wants to live near a data center.

[A]

Nobody wants to live near a data center. But when you can build things near the data center, or like, data centers beget more data centers, so the land around it immediately becomes a little bit more expensive. But Kevin, seeing the pushback on this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Canadian citizen businessman Kevin o' does not live in Utah.

[B]

Where?

[A]

This is not live in Utah. No.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

He got mad that locals and activists were speaking out against it.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So what he did was claim that all of them are secret Chinese. Who would want to stop us from having compute capacity to develop AI? I mean, it's the CPP at work here. There's no question about it. So these are proxies for the Chinese government's my argument. And if they're not, because I want them to be able to defend their name. Taylor, Josh and Gabby, come out, come out, wherever you are. Let's audit your books and let's show the people of Utah you actually care about them.

[B]

I'm sorry, what?

[A]

He said that all of them are Chinese spies and agitators.

[B]

Okay. Okay. So, all right. Now, theoretically, if they were all Chinese spies and agitators, why would they be worried about a data center in Utah?

[A]

Because the thought Process. And you're going to hear this from a lot of billionaires when it comes to AI and data centers in general. Yeah, we, it's, it's just like the way Henry Kissinger used to speak about nuclear weapons.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like the nuclear gap. There's the idea that if we don't build data centers and AI faster than the Chinese will beat us.

[B]

But they're not even building.

[A]

We have to beat the Chinese.

[B]

They're building railroads, babe.

[A]

We have to beat the Chinese high speed rail. The Chinese are also building data centers. And they are as well as they are doing it.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But nowhere near the push and speed that we are because we have to. And this is a big push. And so he started claiming that these rent especially like two, like, it's like two white girls. Yeah. Who were born and raised in Utah, who are Democratic strategists.

[B]

Got Utah curls.

[A]

He said.

[B]

That is.

[A]

Yeah, I do know what that is from you. He, he straight up, like called them out by name in a video. Gabby Finlayson. Gabby, what are you doing and why? Who's paying you? And then they made a response video.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah.

[A]

To him. And it's great.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

It's me, Gabby Finlayson. What am I doing? Apparently we've reached the part of the Stratos data center journey where Kevin o' Leary goes on national Fox News to accuse us of being cells for the Chinese Communist Party. We are not taking the criticism of anyone who is wearing flip flops and a suit on national television.

[A]

And we'll, we'll link it down in the description. But their response video was awesome. It's like five minutes top to bottom. Like, read on. On Kevin o', Leary, who is, by the way, wearing pink flip flops the entire time he's recording these.

[B]

I can't take pink flip flops on a man. Seriously.

[A]

He's wearing pink, like almost shower flip flops.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And like he'll be like. So he always does this weird shot.

[B]

And I know he doesn't have a pedicure.

[A]

Well, what he does is he does this weird shot from the side as he's being interviewed on like C. CNBC and other things where he has like a face like a TV behind him to pretend to have a fake backdrop.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what he is behind him. And then he's in like an apartment or something. And he has a suit on up here as a full suit. But then like the same type of pink flip flops you would get when you get a petty.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's those type of, like, weird ones.

[B]

So he's wearing business on the top, chill on the bottom. Like RuPaul during Drag Race.

[A]

Yes. 100% nice.

[B]

Bald. Wait a minute. Fracking.

[A]

He also then.

[B]

Is RuPaul on this list?

[A]

RuPaul is not on this list. Actually. That's actually very funny. Maybe. Well, maybe by the time we're done, we'll up it to the 22 most evil balls. But what I was going to say is after this moment. Yeah. Kevin is now trying to just have people hate him for other reasons.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

So he then went on a podcast where he said that people, if you're only making $70,000 a year, maybe you should not get a $28 lunch. Well, that's why you can't afford to make lunches.

[B]

Not $28.

[A]

Yes, I know. It's like right now, I went to Wawa And I got a 6 inc. Hoagie. Yeah, right. I got a 6 inch. It's called a.

[B]

He went to a local gas station to get a sandwich.

[A]

Yeah. Because that's what we do in Pennsylvania. We gas station food. A 6 inch hoagie and a green tea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was still, like. It was like almost 11.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's gotten crazy. Like a candy bar now is 2.38. It used to be 60 cents when I was a kid, but Kevin O' Leary is starting to use boomer speak. The other thing he did. The other thing he did is, you know Boot theory. No, it's really from Discworld, but it's a classic. You've already said it all the time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This World's a novel series by Terry Pratchett. It's one of my favorite book series.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

There's a character called Sam Vines, and he talks about boot theory.

[B]

Oh, you mean how if you buy a good pair of boots, it'll last you longer than buying five cheap pair of boots.

[A]

Yeah. Instead of going to Walmart and buying a pair of shitty shoes, you go to a nicer place and get one and then you get them repaired.

[B]

Yeah. You go to money on that.

[A]

Kevin o' Leary basically said this, but just to remind everybody that he has never lived a life that we've lived, he sat on a podcast and said that instead of going out and buying a cheap piece of shit from, like, TEMU as a jacket, you should do what his mom did, which his mom would go out and buy one nice Chanel jacket a year.

[B]

That is so relatable.

[A]

So relatable.

[B]

My cardigan's From TJ Maxx.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In order to make it last, I'm gonna hand wash it every time and hang it dry because I know that it's poorly made.

[A]

Yeah. Because Kevin o' Leary does. The thing that all rich people do, especially the ones who slowly start falling towards prosperity. Go. Is the idea that they're rich because other people are dumb and don't deserve it. It's actually studies that they've done. If you give people a little bit more money, they will buy more bulk items and save money.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

But they can't. It's the toilet paper paradox, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Everyone always goes, if you go to any bodega in, like, a big city, you'll see single rolls of toilet paper.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's for people who are in desperate measures, and they will buy one single, very expensive roll of toilet paper. And then most people from the suburbs like, you're dumb, or, why don't you go to Costco and buy the big pack? You'll save money.

[B]

And you're like, they don't have a car to drive to Costco.

[A]

Not only that, though, what actually ends up happening is they've done studies of people's finances, and when people are paid immediately, Right. And they have more money at the beginning of the month, after all of their major bills are paid and they can kind of breathe a little, they buy the bigger packs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But as the month goes on and bills get tighter and the funds get tighter, they start getting. Buying more and more desperation items because they're get. You always have to poop.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also, get a bidet.

[B]

No, Also. Also, listen, I don't want to talk about crimes. I'm not talking about crimes, but I'm saying that if you were to go to a. A big store, that maybe people are boycotting right now, and you're in there, and you go in there just to pee and flush. To waste their water and make them pay the. Grab a roll, leave.

[A]

Okay, so with that, this is p. With that, Mrs. P. Yeah. I have 20 more people to cover. But this is a tip, so I have given you the tier list.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

In front of you here, you have Kevin Oli.

[B]

I've been looking at it, and I've been wondering who this guy is, because he's really ugly.

[A]

Okay, we're gonna get to that. All right, now scroll back to the top. I want you to read the tier. So the top tier. Top tier. S. Tier is Mr. Worldwide. Exactly.

[B]

Pitbull.

[A]

That is. Well, okay, we'll get to that. Yeah. Mr. Worldwide is the best you can be.

[B]

That's the best bold.

[A]

That's the best bald possible. Okay. Under Mr. Worldwide, which would be our.

[B]

A tier is emotionally luscious.

[A]

These are people who are bald, but by all intents and purposes, because of their character.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We go, what, a full head of hair?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, it's. They don't need the hair.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Under that we have Botched Betty. Yeah. Botched Betty. There's. Accidents have happened. Accidents have happened. And we're sorry. But it's also somebody who are like. Yeah. Okay. After that we have.

[B]

This one says Papa Tui.

[A]

Yes. Do you know what Papa Tui is?

[B]

Yeah, it's the Rock shampoo line at Target.

[A]

Yeah. The Rock sells famously bald. The Rock, Dwayne the Rock Johnson shell sells shampoo. And actually, if you go to his website, it says if you click on shampoo, because I would have used it. So there's a whole category of people that's kind of our. That's kind of like our C tier.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

After that, we have.

[B]

He gone Gollum.

[A]

These are people who are incredibly evil. Just it. Just the. The emotions have seeped through them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The evil is that it actually physically made them a terrifying person.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

After that, we have.

[B]

Okay. Mount Batten level. Cursed.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, you want to explain that one?

[A]

Yeah. Prince William, right? Yeah.

[B]

Right. Okay. So the evil is rotting them from the inside.

[A]

Yeah. But also, it's. It's a family curse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is like a deep level generational. This is generational ball.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That is coming through them in a way that is just.

[B]

It's not like it's genetic baldness, which runs in many a family.

[A]

This is.

[B]

This is generational. You're being smited by the universe because

[A]

your generational wealth is also part of your generational evil.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Does that make more sense?

[B]

I get it. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Good, good, good, good.

[B]

Okay, and then the final one here says, prohibited by the community guidelines of YouTube.com and Patreon.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't actually tell you my full opinion about them.

[B]

Got it, got it, got it.

[A]

So for me, okay. Which I've said repeatedly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want Kevin o' Leary deported from America and have him be refused. Business. Business here. And any assets he has should be seized by the federal government. They don't have one there. But the other options that I have for him I can't say out loud.

[B]

So I'm going to put him in the. Prohibited by the community guidelines.

[A]

Yeah, that's exactly where we're going to put our emotions about Canadian businessman Kevin O'. Leary. And with that Mrs. P. Yeah, with that Mrs. P. Sure. We're going to take a break and

[B]

when we come back, we're going to talk about Bob the Drag Queen.

[A]

Yes, we are. We just finished a sold out show here in New York City and it was, the energy was amazing, Phil, it was great. You had a chat going, you got weird, it got fun, it got crazy. But we have more coming because we go. We are going to be doing live shows in Seattle, Portland, Boston, Philly, San Francisco, Phoenix, Denver, Atlanta, Chicago, St. Paul, D.C. and Pittsburgh. Crashing out toward dot com. Get your tickets now or check the link in both of our bios. When you start your business, it's important to have a great team. Shopify is your MVP every season. Shopify is the e commerce platform behind millions of businesses. If you've ever seen that purple shop pay button to check out, you're familiar with their work.

[B]

I absolutely am familiar. And when I see that shop pay button, I know that I am in good hands and that I'm most likely going to purchase whatever I'm looking at.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it makes it so simple.

[A]

It does. And Shopify has easy to use tools to help your business grow all in one place. Customize your brand in the Shopify design studio, run social media campaigns and reach new customers in the marketing tool. Shopify can even help manage inventory and international shipping. If you ever run into Trouble, Shopify's award winning 24. 7 customer support is there to help. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com too many. Go to shopify.com too many that shopify.com/too many. Well, Mrs. B, we already put one of the most evil bald men possible on the tier list. Yeah.

[B]

And I didn't even know who he was. Really.

[A]

Yeah. And now you do.

[B]

Now you got a pretty good steady spaghetti about it.

[A]

And real fast. Once again, I would like to restate. Kevin o' Leary and his wife did not murder anyone on a boat. Okay. So with that being said.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You saw the next name?

[B]

Yeah. Well, no, I have images at the bottom of this tier list and I'm looking at them. And the next one is Bob the Drag Queen. Yes. And he is not evil.

[A]

Bob the drag queen is not evil. No, no, no. Bob the drag queen. Who uses he? They pronouns interchangeably. Bob. This is a controversial one that's on there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. It's controversial because. Not because of Bob not being evil.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But because Bob got a hair transfer plan.

[B]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

I know. And we're proud of you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, this is. Bob has been bald for so long.

[B]

In Beverly Hills.

[A]

In Beverly Hills.

[B]

I watched the YouTube video.

[A]

You watch the YouTube, Rich. Yes.

[B]

Bob didn't fly to Turkey.

[A]

No. Bob. Beverly and I actually know a lot of people who've gotten hair transplants. Yeah. The thing is, though, is. Is there is. There's there's like a list on it. But Bob, to me, has been bald for so long that it's going to take me decades. Yeah. Before I view Bob as not bald.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's just how it is. But Bob is also a control on here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because Bob is amazing at everything they do. Yeah. Author, comedian, reality star, drag queen. You name it, they nail it. They have a podcast. They do so many different things.

[B]

Yeah. They do a stand up comedy, live shows. They were on Broadway. They have a very successful YouTube channel.

[A]

Yeah. All those things. And so basically, to me, I just wanted to include Bob because I needed a control on here as an example of somebody that to me is a Mr. Worldwide. No one. There's only one Mr. Worldwide.

[B]

Okay, so then. Emotionally luscious.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Because Bob is emotionally luscious. Also. Bob wears a ton of wigs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And just has amazing things. And just Bob in general. We love you. We love you. We love you. You love you. If we ever have guests on this show, please, please, please come on.

[B]

Please come to me.

[A]

Please come to me. Or let's do something. I don't know. But I just want to be in Bob's presence. Honestly, I just want to walk and go, ah. Also good. Good on you for wearing big hats for six months. Yeah, they really did. They wore big hats on everything for six months to hide the hair transplant surgery, which is wild. That's so.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

I live for the bit.

[A]

I live for the bit.

[B]

If I could get a hair transplant surgery, I would just do right here to create a widow's peak so I could have that Fran Drescher widow's peak. Fran Drescher had the best. She still does the best. Widow's peak. In the 90s, it was such a strong little widow's peak. And growing up, I always just, like, used eyeliner to try to color one in because I wanted to look like Fran Drescher. So I would go to Turkey for that.

[A]

For me. And I'll admit, it is right in this. This side here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This side Here is going, that's stress. He's running. He's taking a runner on that part. So I would get that touch up, but I've been, like, hitting it with some minoxidil. I finally admitted it this year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Mrs. P. Just showed up with a little bottle of Minoxidil and was like, why don't you try filling that in there, little buddy?

[B]

I've been like, I've been using this since I had a baby because the baby stole on my hair.

[A]

Yeah, baby does do that. Baby people don't know that babies steal hairs.

[B]

Babies steal hairs. They steal your bone mass and your hair.

[A]

Yeah. So we have a lot of names to go through, so we're going to have to speed it up a little.

[B]

All right, all right.

[A]

This next one you already recognized, I

[B]

can see that's Dr. Phil.

[A]

Yes, that is Dr. Phil. And so because of that, we had

[B]

an episode where he. He was on my list. Yes.

[A]

And we did episode as the Oprah's. Here's Oprah's Monsters episode. And we listed a bunch of people. Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Jenny McCarthy. These are people that Oprah platformed, and then they entered the world. And this image that I picked is specifically from Dr. Phil speaking after Tony Hinchcliffe at the Madison Square Garden rally for Donald Trump because they're close personal friends, and he's a big Trump.

[B]

That was a Nazi rally, if they

[A]

would call it a MAGA Inc. Rally. Anyway, let's take him.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And you're going to. I'm going to leave this one completely up to you. Where would you put Dr. Phil?

[B]

Okay, so he's not a botched Betty. He's not Papa Tui, because he's not harmless. I've seen him go on tours with ICE agents. So I'm gonna say he gone Gollum because he has the evil in his soul.

[A]

Yeah, I would say he gone Gollum very much. Especially as you look at him, it's

[B]

like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if you look at him back when he was an Oprah and then now he's just. He's like, ah, my precious. And his precious is the evil of the world.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[B]

He's gone Gollum.

[A]

So let's. Let's keep speeding up. I think this next one's gonna be pretty easy.

[B]

For this a picture of sad Joe Rogan. It looks like he's at the White House.

[A]

Yeah. So that is actually a picture of Joe Rogan standing behind Donald Trump as Donald Trump rambled on about psychoactive drugs, therapies and weird shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This was after Joe Rogan has. I've actually heard. I know people who know Joe Rogan. I can't admit that. And I've heard through the grapevine that Joe Rogan believes that he is using Donald Trump, not the other way around. And what I have here is a note because I put little notes about all these.

[B]

Yeah, I can see you have a Google Doc. I'm proud of you for writing a full episode.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. You know, I have written about Joe Rogan five foot three. Everything else is. You can watch any other.

[B]

That's a good Gollum because he's little.

[A]

Yeah, Little Gollum is little. Joe Rogan is a. Is a piece of shit. He is not a good stand up comedian. He's a stool humper. He's a bag of shit.

[B]

Is that a comedian insult?

[A]

It is.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yes. Stool humper. The only. There's only one stool humper. That is funny.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Cat Williams.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, he's so funny.

[A]

Cat Williams allowed to hump a stool. But if you watch a Joe Rogan, anything Joe Rogan. Because with stand up comedy, this is what happens. Yeah. Typically this is. This is almost every stand up set for the most part. There is a mic stand with a microphone in it. There is a stool usually with a bottle of water on it.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And some people use the stool as a prop.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Joe Rogan typically humps that stool. I think I've covered this before.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know if we have. I've bitched about him so much.

[B]

I know.

[A]

But basically things are going worse for Joe. Everyone knows that he sucks. He's a bag of shit. And actually he's interviewed so many other people on this list.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Including a lot of people who've been on Epstein's Island.

[B]

He loves interviewing people from Epstein's.

[A]

And then he weirdly stopped talking about Epstein's island out of nowhere because he's.

[B]

He's pushing Trump. Right, Got it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I up to you where you

[A]

want to put him. This is. I'm going to leave this.

[B]

Okay. So here's my thought process. I don't think you're prohibited by the community guidelines because you always be talking, showing him. As you should. As you should Now Mountbatten level curse. I do believe that his family will be Mount Baton level. His children will face the repercussions of his actions and probably be cursed.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because of what he's done.

[A]

Well, he does have daughters in Texas, so good luck with your health care, girls.

[B]

Wow. Rough yeah, so I do think gone Gollum because, you know, he started as like a bit actor on news radio and now look at him.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But so I feel as though he's somewhere in the gone golem. But also the. The way he has cursed America and the world as a whole because again, millions of people across the globe are going to die because he helped platform Elon Musk into this.

[A]

So where are you going to put Joe Rogan? Sorry, Rogan.

[B]

I'm going to put him in Mountbatten level curse because I believe he's curse his generation and all of our generation.

[A]

I agree with you so much with that one and I love the logic that you used.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

This is very, very good logic. Now the next person.

[B]

Don't know who that is.

[A]

This is my favorite.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is my favorite thing. That's the Secretary of Commerce, Howard Lutnick.

[B]

Howard Lutnick.

[A]

Howard Lutnick.

[B]

Wait, we talked about this recently. The commerce guy, he was on the cruise ship with his nine kids. No, no, different guy.

[A]

That was the Secretary of Transportation, Sean Duffy.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Now this guy has gotten in trouble for kids on a boat before, though.

[B]

Wait, what do you mean?

[A]

Because he's been to Epstein's Island.

[B]

No.

[A]

And he was also Jeffrey Epstein's next door neighbor. Also, mind you, Jeffrey Epstein isn't on this list. One, because he's dead. But two, also because Jeffrey Epstein had like very thick hair. Weirdly, like pre turkey. Yeah, it was like pre hair plug turkey. So it's like. Ah, that's confusing. Yeah, you're the most evil man. But Howard Lutnick is famously bald. I'm gonna go. Let me just go down a little bit here.

[B]

Okay, tell me about this guy.

[A]

So Howard Lutnick was an Epstein associate. He claimed after 2005 or so that he stopped hanging out with Epstein completely. But he was also Epstein's next door neighbor in New York City.

[B]

I didn't have to hang out with him. We had a share door between our homes.

[A]

Yeah. They. Lutnick admitted in 2012.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That he did go with his wife and children to Epstein Island.

[B]

He took his kids to Epstein Island.

[A]

Yeah. There is an email about it where he lists the children's ages for some reason. No. Also there's an image of Lutnick that came out later on Epstein's Island. We'll put it up on the screen. People figured out because that's Jeffrey Epstein with Howard Lutnick. And then people figured out that that lighthouse in the background is the lighthouse from Little St. James Lutnick was interviewed in front of the House House Committee about Epstein and some things and the connections there. But right before he went to that committee hearing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He donated $5 million to the House GOP. That, like their super PAC, huh? Yeah. And they accepted it. He, Howard Lutnick, just in a general way, he has pushed Trump's tariff policy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's always seen some people view Howard Lutnick anti semitically as Trump's handler because he's always like right behind Donald Trump with his arms crossed in a certain way, but also just.

[B]

I feel like a lot of people on this list stand behind Trump with their arms crossed.

[A]

A lot of them do, actually. Many of them have stood behind Donald Trump as Trump has been doing horrific things. He pushed Donald Trump's tariff policy.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And then made.

[B]

This is the guy in charge of commerce.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Who's saying we should have higher tariffs.

[A]

Yes. Great. But don't worry.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

His sons sure inherited Cantor Fitzgerald from him.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

It's a financial services firm that there's a 911 connection to. But also on top of that, they. There's been rumors out there that Cantor Fitzgerald has pushed back on that. These guys basically bought the tariffs from the companies so that way they could get the refunds.

[B]

Oh, like when medical people buy medical debt?

[A]

Kind of.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They basically bought the tariff.

[B]

Evil stuff.

[A]

Yeah, real, real, real evil stuff. In fact, actually, the New York Times wrote in November of last year, quote, never in modern US History has the office of Commerce Secretary intersected so broadly and deeply within the financial interests of the Commerce Secretary's own family. According to interviews with ethics lawyers and historians, Howard Lutnick is an evil man. And in fact, that's. Bring it back to the Epstein's island of it all. There is a room inside of Epstein's house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That had a. There's like a medical dentist chair.

[B]

Yeah. That was a creepy.

[A]

And the masks on the wall.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. One of the masks on the wall is pretty clearly Howard Ludnick. Here it is. Yeah, that's it. That's basically Howard Ludnick. Put him next to each other. Mr. Third.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Terrifying, right? Yeah. Okay, so where do you want to put him on your list?

[B]

Okay, well, he's part of the government.

[A]

He's currently part of the government.

[B]

Okay. So I'm gonna say, see, because you would think. You would think Mountbatten, because you said his kids have inherited this evil company.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But also the Epstein island of it all, I'm gonna say, prohibited by Community guidelines.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because I have a lot of immediate thoughts that I can't see say out loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to put this man right here on the. Yeah. That's. He's gross. I don't like that at all.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't like that he's in charge of anything, let alone just walking around, around in these streets.

[A]

He's in charge of our economy.

[B]

Okay. Now who's this next guy? I don't know that guy.

[A]

Okay, you do know him. You know who that is? It's very tiny, though.

[B]

Yes. It's little.

[A]

It's very little. Okay. His real name is Paul Levesque.

[B]

Paul Levesque.

[A]

He also. His. His stage name, if you will, was. He went by two names. One was in terrorizing.

[B]

Okay. Don't know that.

[A]

And also Hunter Hearst Helmsley, also known as Triple H from the wwe. Triple H. That is Triple H. He's

[B]

not wearing his leather daddy skull outfit.

[A]

No, no. He is not wearing.

[B]

On a motorcycle trike.

[A]

No.

[B]

Nothing cooler than a motorcycle truck.

[A]

Yeah. But he's definitely not covered in iron crosses because he's a racist. Allegedly. On our content comedy history podcast. Yeah. That is the chief content officer of WWE, 13 time WWE Champion, Triple H. Triple H. He is also now basically married.

[B]

The boss's daughter.

[A]

Yes. After cheating on China, the wrestler China.

[B]

Oh, see, because I thought we're talking about China because we talked about China earlier.

[A]

No, no. China with a Y. China with a Y.

[B]

China with a Y. I know about China.

[A]

Yeah, I know you do.

[B]

She was a cool lady.

[A]

She was very, very cool.

[B]

Cool. She's a cool lady.

[A]

He and her. Triple H and Chyna had a relationship.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there was a whole. So the storyline. So here's the thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's the real life.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And then there's storyline.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In the storyline, Triple H gets with Stephanie McMahon, who is the boss's daughter.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Also the daughter of Linda McMahon, current Secretary of Education for the United States and former administrator. Small business administrator and Trump's first. First term. And head of one of his super PACs for reelection.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, in the storyline.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Triple H, who is feuding with Vince McMahon.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Who is currently under investigation and a lawsuit for human trafficking and pooping on a lady's head during a forced three way.

[B]

Allegedly.

[A]

Allegedly. It's in current lawsuits. Yeah. Also there's a whole child ring.

[B]

No.

[A]

From the 80s ring boys. Anyway, the Triple H in the storyline, this is like 19. Around 2000, 2001. Ish.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In storyline, he drugs and kidnaps Stephanie McMahon and then takes her to a drive through Las Vegas wedding chapel.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then this is all, by the way, revealed during Stephanie McMahon's in ring wedding to a wrestler named Test. He reveals all of this and then says that he consummated the marriage all night long. So his character is a date rapist. So that's.

[B]

Wow. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I think I just demonetized our episode.

[B]

No, no, no, no. We'll bleep or whatever.

[A]

Okay. So there's that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Then there was a time later where his character. Again, his character.

[B]

This is storyline. There's a story, this is imagination.

[A]

There's a storyline where he was. He was feuding with a wrestler named Kane.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Who is now currently the. The mayor of Knox County, Tennessee.

[B]

I like that wrestling makes it out to the real world so much.

[A]

So the mayor of Knox County, Tennessee, his name is Glenn Jacobs. Glenn, he used to go by Kane, known as the Big Red Machine.

[B]

That was the one with the red, like across his face.

[A]

Yeah, he had a red mask with black on it. Sometimes the Rock and Triple H would call Kane his nickname was the Big Red Machine. They would call him the Big Red Arsler. Oh, they would say that a lot. Anyway, so he had a whole feud with Kane.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Where it came out during it that one of the ways Cain was burned, some other different stuff was that Kane got into a car accident and he had this girl that he liked named Katie Vick, and she died. And so then Triple H put on a cane mask, went to an actual funeral home and then humped a mannequin inside of a coffin and then held up brains and went, I effed your brains out.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

That was being directed by his father in law, Vince McMahon, by the way, who's just off camera. Just off camera the entire time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Then he had a feud with a guy named Eugene.

[B]

This is becoming a wrestling podcast.

[A]

It's not. I'm not done this. Then he had a few with a guy named Eugene. Now, Eugene was a special needs character.

[B]

No. Yes.

[A]

And it went bad. We're just gonna leave it there. But we need to know is Eugene's special specialty was that he understood every other wrestler's moves. And so he was like a savant when it came to wrestling.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

But there was a whole thing with Triple H and Eugene that was bad.

[B]

I don't like.

[A]

Now let's get into the racism. So first thing, there's the blackface. Okay, so there is a feud between Degeneration X. Yeah. Where Triple H was a part of. And Degeneration X had a feud with the Nation of Domination. Yeah, the Nation of Domination were black wrestlers fighting with dx, who were white wrestlers.

[B]

So was the Rock in Nation of Domination?

[A]

Yes, and Triple H did blackface as the Rock throwing up on the screen. Anyway, that happened. And Triple H and the Rock hate each other a lot.

[B]

Like in real life.

[A]

Like in real life.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

Because Triple H is so.

[B]

He's not getting in. Papa too.

[A]

He's definitely not getting him. Papa too.

[B]

He's not getting him.

[A]

He's not getting a Papa too. He. In fact, actually, weirdly, the Triple H. Triple H at this point is actually technically owned by the Rock because the Rock is a board member of tko, which oversees wwe. And whenever he gets bored, he inserts himself in the storylines now. So that's kind of like the best we're going to get as revenge on Triple H. But Triple H also had a feud with Booker T. Where he said, guys like you should not be champions. He uses now ever since he retired. He had a heart attack and now he has a pacemaker.

[B]

Well, that's what happens when you do all those drugs.

[A]

Well, yeah, which is crazy because with his pacemaker from doing all of these performance enhancing drugs over the years, he is now part of the White House team about, like, making kids healthy and working out.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, but you can take them out with a magnet.

[B]

No.

[A]

Also, he. He used. He admitted recently that he uses AI to write and book wrestling. Like, even though they admit now they have writers. He does. He politics his ass off all the time.

[B]

Freddie Prinze Jr.

[A]

Writer for yes, he was. And he. He tried desperately to fix it and it didn't matter. He also has been. He's been part of a big part of tko, which owns WWE and ufc, firing and cutting the pay of wrestlers. Okay. And ever since Triple H took over the booking, there was about almost a three year period there where basically no black men won on a WWE pay per view like, at all for like three straight years. Huh. But he was also there when the new day.

[B]

Love.

[A]

Our favorite wrestlers. The new day, specifically Xavier woods, who also goes by Austin Creed, and Kofi Kingston, whose name they. They took their release.

[B]

And Biggie.

[A]

Biggie's still there.

[B]

Okay, but I was just saying the rest of the new day.

[A]

Yes, but Kofi and Xavier woods took their release because the WWE basically buried them and stopped using them. Yeah. And then WWE came back to them and said, well, you're not as popular Anymore. So we want to cut your multi year contract in half.

[B]

So they bury them as terms for.

[A]

Bury them as wrestling. They stop using them or the. Or you book them badly so then people won't root for them anymore.

[B]

So then they, they made the storylines bad. Yeah, they purposely make for a long time and then they're like, oh, you're not popping anymore because we made your storylines bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then they cut their contract.

[A]

Then they, then they say we're going to cut your contract in half or fire you or you can accept release right now.

[B]

Your contract in half. How is that legal? It's already a contract.

[A]

But we're talking about a multi billion dollar company that has destroyed unions and made sure that all of these guys.

[B]

Hulk Hogan destroyed the union.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I learned that in our Hulk Hogan episode because apparently this is a wrestling podcast.

[A]

Yeah. You know what's funny actually over the weekend, Memorial Day weekend, uh, Donald Trump literally wrote rip to the huckster. He by accident type Hulkster and wrote huckster. And that made me feel good. Yeah. So with that Triple H, where are we putting him on the list? Obviously somewhere sub botched. Betty.

[B]

Yeah, well, yeah, he's not getting above Papa T. No, he's not going to get I. He gone Gollum because. But like, so I guess my thought process is like, sure, he started out in wrestling like all wrestlers do. Like enthusiastic and yay, we're going to do this thing. And then he got evil because he got success and money.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think I would argue the whole time, but I think again we're getting into this Mountbatten level curse because he's had kids. He generationally changed. Changed wrestling. He's been doing this so long that he has changed generation of storyline and wrestlers and outcomes and contracts. And now with like being in charge of so much stuff that I think it's Mountbatten.

[A]

I agree with you. Because all of his kids are also McMahons. Yeah, because the McMahons are cursed.

[B]

Yeah, because he got, he genetically got in with the curse.

[A]

Yeah, he's male genetically with the McMahons.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. He's gonna have. What's the, the jaw thing where they all have the jaw.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. The. Why am I blanking like right in the comments? Right in the comments right now. Which. The, the crazy inbred jaw.

[B]

The jaw thing. You know, you guys know what to talk about.

[A]

Anyway, that's. That's a great one. So with that Mrs. We got to take a break. We got to take a break. I have to start cutting down some of these bios. I'm spending way too long on them. Especially when you can tell I truly hate somebody. And we'll be right back after this. This episode of Too Many Tabs is sponsored by Delete Me. If you care about your security, Delete Me is for you. Delete Me is a hands free subscription service that removes your personal information that's being sold online. Delete Me's privacy experts are constantly scanning data brokers so they can remove your info when it shows up for sale. Once you start, Deleteme sends you a detailed report in just seven days telling you what they found and deleted. And we've been with Delete Me now for over a year.

[B]

Yeah, quite a while.

[A]

And it's been awesome being having access to the privacy dashboard showed us that we had over a thousand lines of personal data out there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Including from our toddler who has never been online.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah. It was, it was crazy. It was crazy amount of information that's out there that anyone can buy that's being partnered and put together into files again that anyone can get. Which is Delete Me helps you get rid of. Delete Me is based in the United States and doesn't outsource to third parties. If you're outside the United States, check out their international plans. See for yourself. Why Delete Me has been the leading expert in personal identifiable information removal for over 15 years. Get 20% off delete me consumer plans when you go to join deleteme.com Pearlmania20 and use code Pearl Mania20 at checkout or scan this QR code on the screen again. That's joinedelete me.com Pearlmania 20 code Pearlmania 20 at checkout. All right, Mrs. P, I'm going to try to speed up some of these bios.

[B]

You keep saying that, but then you get all excited about telling me about how awful these people are.

[A]

Who's next on our list of evil balls?

[B]

I don't know. That's a very small picture. He is that Bezos?

[A]

That's Jeff Bezos. That is Jeff Bezos from his recent CNBC interview.

[B]

I like that you didn't pick his wedding pictures where he's all like, like trying to look nicer when he's at the Met Ball.

[A]

So Jeff Bezos recently went on CNBC and all the comments on the short form videos when you go find them are everyone be like he's aged like 10 years in six months because he looks like dog shit.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Yeah. We've talked a lot about Jeff Bezos in the Past.

[B]

Yeah. And we will continue to.

[A]

And we will continue to. Jeff Bezos is one of the richest men on Earth, Obviously one of the founders of one of the most evil

[B]

men on earth, in my opinion, and

[A]

one Mrs. P's opinion, in my opinion. I have some of the things he's listed. Union busting, data center building, drone pushing, Katy Perry. Rocketing, Venice renting scumbag. He is the son of an alcoholic unicyclist named Ted Jorgensen. Jorgensen. Jeff changed his name to Bezos because that is the name of his Cuban refugee stepfather, Miguel Bezos. And his. The big thing about Jeff is he went on cnbc, went on a whole thing about taxes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And about this weird shit about. He's like, if you raise my taxes, it's not gonna help the. A nurse in Queens. It's not gonna help a nurse in Queens. And then his whole thing was, we should cut taxes for people under a certain level. Which sounds good at first, but then what you realize is then Jeff. Rich people like Jeff will be like, well, those poor people don't pay taxes anyway, therefore they're not actually people. Therefore they're nowhere near my equal. And it's really creating a noble schism surf. He's trying to try to create serfs. 100%. Jeff made a big deal about charity as well, and how he's given money to charity, but he's given nowhere near as much as his ex wife, Mackenzie.

[B]

Mackenzie. Shout out. She'd be giving away his money.

[A]

She cannot stop giving away his money to the point where she actually inspired the Apple TV show Billions. Yeah. Jeff cheated on her with Lauren Sanchez, who we talked about in a different episode. He then recently married Lauren Sanchez, where they rented the entire city.

[B]

I like that you call her people and not blow up doll.

[A]

Okay, well, she's a plastic woman. Also, I've recently heard from somebody who was at an event.

[B]

No.

[A]

With Jeff Bezos. And this person was talking to Lauren Sanchez, and they said that Jeff Bezos came, approached Lawrence Sanchez sitting down, and he kept nuzzling her neck to the point where the other person just got up and left because it was so weird.

[B]

Oh, you know what that's like at

[A]

the end, it was, like, weird. Like, teenager. Heavy petting.

[B]

I was gonna say teenager. Like, when you're in line for, like, at the roller coasters. Like, for some reason, like, teenagers love heavy petting. In line for roller coasters.

[A]

I didn't even think of those.

[B]

That's what it's like.

[A]

I was thinking about, like, weird cafeteria where the teacher walk around with spiders.

[B]

We're all standing in line, and for some reason, it's just like heavy petting. Canoodling starts.

[A]

There's always like, the weirdly tall guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With a small girl. Yeah. And she's like koala'd on to him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At least now they have phones. Now they look at their phones. Thank God.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

All right, so with that, their phones, which, by the way, Jeff Bezos is probably a part of because of Amazon Web Services covers so much of the world and the World Wide Web. Now Amazon has been accused of worker safety violations, including force forcing warehouse workers to piss in bottles. Workers have reportedly had to continue working when their fellow employees have dropped the dead. Jeff has created a culture inside of Amazon, especially among their executives, that chase the bottom line to a point where whenever an Amazon exec leaves and go to another company, everyone bitches about them. It's like the Amazon assholes is like a nickname that's out there. Jeff purchased and gutted the Washington Post recently, where he's basically turned the op ed page over there into old man's grievances that he can yell and anything he believes he can have them say,

[B]

it will be funny. If we had enough money, you could buy a newspaper. Because you would do that.

[A]

I would do that 100%.

[B]

This is me just yelling about something.

[A]

But this is after he spent years claiming that he was holding it in trust and he wasn't actually touching it. It started with him pulling the Washington Post endorsement of Kamala Harris, which again, I don't think newspaper endorsements actually matter that much. But it was a weird. Like, it was a weird thing to do. And now he constantly and consistently has the editorial board, which typically keeps their names off of it, like, put this big stamps on specific things that clearly Jeff Bezos wants to make sure things like his taxes aren't raised. And we keep eating garbage phone parties with Sydney Sweeney. Yeah, all that stuff. He pity was busy at the time. Beyond destroying Main street and bookstores, Amazon has also censored books, particularly ones that are dealing with LGBTQ information. He's partnered with the CIA and Israel and given facial recognition software to law enforcement. And generally, generally, this guy is a bad time. We've talked about him a lot, Mrs. P. Where you putting them?

[B]

Prohibited by community guidelines. Because there's a lot I want to say, but I've never allowed to because

[A]

he controls the Internet so much of the Internet. And even though we talk a lot of shit on them, weirdly, somehow they still show up Sometimes as sponsors. That's always the fun one. So always, please, guys, always, always, always check us [e-mail] because you don't. You have no idea how many things we have been like, listen, it's weird that you want to give me money now. I feel like we would be hypocrites for taking it. And they're like, we'll still give you that.

[B]

I was like, but I got a mortgage to pay.

[A]

Yeah, but it's just, it's odd. Anyway, let's go. Who do we have next?

[B]

That looks like John Fetterman?

[A]

That. That is John Fetterman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Go ahead and put him under prohibited. Just put him under prohibited right now. Just put him under prohibited.

[B]

Not.

[A]

I can't say fully what I can do.

[B]

Not going to talk about.

[A]

I got the bobblehead out in bobblehead broke. I got so mad I broke the feet off of it. Yep.

[B]

Daisy.

[A]

Yeah. John Fetterman is a terrible person. Just a complete awful man. And the one thing I do want to say, he is a staunch, rabid, genocide, genocidal Zionist who received a silver plated pager from Benjamin Netanyahu to commemorate a war crime where Israel detonated thousands of pagers across Lebanon in a double tap strike that killed and injured thousands of people, including many children. He, John Fetterman wholeheartedly supports every evil action that is currently happening in our government. He is typically the only Democrat that will cross aisles to keep things like the Iran war going, the blockade of Cuba and the complete and other devastation of Lebanon, Gaza and more places. And he also recently went on the Bill Maher podcast. So fuck you, double fuck you for just hanging out with Bill Maher because he talked about how much he respects Donald Trump for being basically the conscious, just like a free flowing conscious, and actually love the fact that Donald Trump yelled quiet piggy to a female reporter. He laughed about that. He actually laughed about that through his broken ass brain. And now people are regularly, when they see John Fetterman in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Walking around the district, they actually are openly asking him to leave the Democratic Party and become an independent. Yeah. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself forever. I'm glad it's under prohibited. You all know my thoughts. I hate that man. Fuck that man. That's it.

[B]

I think we should move to the next one. Is that Charles Barkley?

[A]

It is Charles Barkley.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

This is the opposite. Yeah.

[B]

I was wondering what we were going to get another like a nice.

[A]

Yes. No, it is Charles Barkley. I love Charles Barkley.

[B]

Barkley okay.

[A]

The six foot six, NBA hall of Famer sports commentator and one time SNL host. He was very funny on snl. Charles has dunked on Godzilla in a Nike commercial. For real. We're gonna put it up here on the screen. I don't think we can play the audio of it. Yeah, we can show him. He was. He plays against Godzilla, which obviously you guys know, you can see from my laptop. I love a Godzilla. He has feuded and apologized to the big women and down in San Antonio. Do you know about that?

[B]

Yeah, I remember the clip. You played it for me quite a few times.

[A]

It's just so funny. And then he was like, I want to apologize to San Antonio. They're like, why? He's. I had a churro. I understand it now. He has openly admitted to having a gambling addiction. That will come back to play later. In 2006, Charles Barkley stated, and I quote, I was a Republican until they lost their minds. And then he endorsed Barack Obama in 2008.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Charles Barkley has been a fierce advocate for the LGBT community, backing gay marriage long before it was popular or cool to say. And saying this in 2022, quote, actually, you know what? We'll just play the clip. If you're gay and transgender, I love you. Hey, if anybody give you, you tell

[B]

them Charles said you.

[A]

Just in case that was hard to hear, he said, I want to say this. If you're gay and transgender, I love you. And if anybody gives you shit, you tell them Charles said, fuck you. And that's like, that's what we need.

[B]

You know what that is emotionally luscious.

[A]

That's a hundred percent what that is. Yeah, go ahead. And you put him in emotionally luscious hell, yeah, dude. He's. He's the absolute best.

[B]

Okay, let me see. John Travolta.

[A]

Yes. John Travolta is bald. A lot of people forget that John Travolta is bad.

[B]

He forgets he's bald.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's got a new face.

[A]

He does have a new face.

[B]

Oh, that might be right into Botched Betty.

[A]

Okay, so let me just go over this real fast. So John Travolta, obviously famous actor, famous for a lot of different things, especially in the 70s, had a comeback in the 90s. By the early 2000s, everyone. Oh, my God, he's a Scientologist. Yeah. John Travolta is a pilot. He's obsessed with planes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's probably gay, but right now he's rocking berets. Yeah. Have you seen it? Have you seen online. Everyone's obsessed with, like. He keeps talking about, like, they're not kangals. No, but they're close.

[B]

He did kangals for a long time. He was a kangal.

[A]

He was a kangal guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So apparently, according to Wikipedia.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know why John Travolta shaved his head?

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because his very good friend told him it's time. You got to give up on it. You need to shave your head.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Do you know who his very good friend's name is?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, first thing, put John Travolta. Put him where you're gonna put him.

[B]

Botch Betty.

[A]

Botch Betty. Yeah. And guess who his very good friend is.

[B]

Who?

[A]

Mr. Worldwide. Pitbull.

[B]

No,

[A]

I'm on Fireball. So find Pitbull. He's the only one that's a full body shot.

[B]

Got him.

[A]

That's right. Yeah. He's Mr. A good friend.

[B]

He's a good friend. He's a bud. Focus on some other stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get yourself a double bluff.

[A]

I'm just telling you guys right now, if anything bad comes out about Pitbull. No, it doesn't. I need that. I need Pitbull. No. I've given up on too many other ones. Okay? I've given up. I've lost too many. And if people can say that Michael Jackson died in 1988, then I can say that Pitbull. Whatever happened, it didn't. Okay. Because I need Pitbull. There's times. There's times when a Pitbull song comes on. You're like, yeah, yeah. When we did Crashing out live. Yeah. By the way, crashing outdoor.com. get your tickets. Get your tickets down below.

[B]

Below.

[A]

Tickets that. We're almost sold out in Seattle. Portland's going fast. Chicago's going fast. We're. We're good. We're getting there.

[B]

We're getting.

[A]

It's getting crazy. But Mrs. P, I was saying okay is when we did it. We were debating on, like, what type of music to come out to. What's our walkout song?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there was a lot of things. I need something to match me and Phil.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then finally one of the guys there, I was like, pull up. I was like, I want an early 2000s millennial optimist.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I turned to him, I said, give me Pitbull's greatest hits.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we started going down. Going. Timber by Kesha and Pitbull.

[B]

Kesha and Pitbull.

[A]

It's going down. We're going Timber. And the energy when you hit the Stage as Pitbull is rapping.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh. Also famously. Famously bald to the point where people now wear bald caps who go to Pitbull shows.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

If you're driving down the road and you pass four millennial women in a. In a car that probably has a check engine light on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're all wearing bald caps. A Pitbull concert is within 25 miles of wherever you are.

[B]

And I'm trying to go.

[A]

We're trying to go now.

[B]

We've been hyped now because we got to talk about Pitbull. But this next picture I am deeply concerned about because it's Louis ck.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, it's Louis CK do we have

[B]

to talk about Louis ck We do

[A]

have to talk about Louis. And the reason why is because Louie's back. And I don't think a lot of people understand where. Why Louis was gone and what happened. And I have. I have a lot of information on that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I just want to tell everybody we are going to talk about Louis CK and we're going to not get very specific to the allegations. Yeah, but we. There are allegations in here. Louis CK Is a very famous stand up comedian, comedy writer and filmmaker. He also had a TV show called Louis on FX. Louis was accused of sexual misconduct by five women. The five separate stories are all very similar, which include Louis C.K. i'm going to use a term because we're on YouTube.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Of Louis C.K. we'll just say playing with himself. Got it to completion in their presence. One woman said over the phone. And then he said when he was done, he told her he was done. And none of them consented to this. Yeah. Louis and members of his team spent years destroying the careers of anyone who brought up these accusations in the comedy spaces. Yeah. This came out. This was one of those things where people would start to step forward. And there's a thing in comedy, the same thing like Bill Cosby over the years and others, Louis would. These things would come up and all of these women that are a part of this were people, women who were in the comedy space.

[B]

They were comedians.

[A]

And Louis was like a quote, unquote, a safe one. He was supposed to understand. He would do jokes about how, you know, the most dangerous thing to women, like the. The number one killer of men is heart disease. Number one killer of women is men. Yeah. You know, they had jokes about this, like, he seemed to understand. And then they would get into situations where they'd be in a hotel room with him and he would just start going at it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he said that he claimed he asked, but never understood the power dynamic where you're a headliner and they're an opener or a feature or somebody who's just trying to get a job in Hollywood. And even after that happened, if they started talking about it, his agent would blackball them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And kind of put this out there. Louie even referenced his. His fetish for doing this at or about women against their will in his FX show, Louis. And we are going to play a little clip of this that in context later is insane. Let's bring in our next guest comedian Louis CK Whom some might describe as an aficionado of masturbation, a man who is well known for being a prolific masturbator, who even brags about it. Is that fair to say, Louis? Yeah, that's fair. In fact, you're the only person we could find who would come here to defend masturbation. Well, I like it. It's easy and it's fun and nobody gets hurt.

[B]

Master masturbating is really important to you.

[A]

Yeah, it is. It keeps me sane. I'm a good citizen, I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate and I'm proud of it and God's happy. And later I'm masturbate, I'm going to think about you and there's nothing you can do about it.

[B]

Yeah, yuck. Yeah, yuck.

[A]

Yeah. So the context of that is he is on. That's literally him on Fox.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

On Greg Gutfield's old show, Fox Red Eye, where they used to have comedians on there. The person he is talking to is like an anti. An anti touching it advocate who was like, it's actually based on a real character that was out there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But the context of. And there's nothing you can do about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is the part you're like, oh, no. So the thing is, a lot of people. This was like buried and pushed around a lot until the New York Times published an article about it in September of 2017. And then Louis eventually admitted that all of the allegations are true in November 2017 in a statement, and I'm going to read most of the statement here, he said, quote, the reason why I'm going to read this, by the way, is there's a lot of people who like to claim that it wasn't true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even though Louis himself to this day still admits it's true and that he fucked up. This is what he said. These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was okay, because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you, when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn't a question, it's a predicament for them. The power I had over these women is that they admired me and I wielded that power irresponsibly. I have been remorseful of my actions and I've tried to learn from them and run from them. Now I'm aware of the extent of the impact of my actions. I learned yesterday to the extent to which I left these women who admired me feeling badly about themselves and cautious around the men who would never have put them in that position. I also took advantage of the fact that I was widely admired in my and their community, which disabled them from sharing their story and brought hardship to them when they tried because people who look up to me didn't want to hear it. I didn't think that I was doing any, any of that because my position allowed me not to think about it. There is nothing about this that I forgive myself for and I have to reconcile it, reconcile it with who I am, which is nothing compared to the task I left with them. I wish I had reacted to their admiration of me by being a good example to them as a man and given them some guidance as a comedian, including. Including because I admired their work. The hardest regret to live with is what you've done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them. I'd be remiss to exclude the hurt that I brought on people who I work with and have worked with, who's professional and personal lives have been impacted by all this. He then lists a bunch of projects that were in the work at that time. I brought pain to my family, my friends, my children and their mother. I have spent my long and lucky career talking and saying anything I want. I will now step back and take a long time to listen. Thank you for reading. Louis returned to stand up in a surprise set at the Comedy Cellar less than a year later in August of 2018. He couldn't even step back for a full year. And then he had to surprise an audience with his own thing without asking them for consent first because he was tired of listening. In September of 2025, Louis was one of the headliners of the Riyadh Comedy Festival. And just this month alone, Louis has returned to Netflix. He's headlined the Hollywood bowl as a headliner of the Netflix is a Joke comedy festival. And his next stand up special is to Special is to be released soon on Netflix. Netflix. I forgot to add. What's his name on the list?

[B]

The guy who's in charge of Netflix.

[A]

No. Kevin Spacey. I forgot to put Kevin Spacey on here. Because if Louie can come back, why can't Kevin Spacey?

[B]

No, he shouldn't come back.

[A]

Oh, well, they all came back. That's the problem.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

All right, so with all of that

[B]

being said, Mrs. P. I feel okay here. This is a. There's a weird spot because, like, he's not as evil as Joe Rogan because Joe Rogan had so much more pull and touch.

[A]

Yeah. I would go with Gone Gollum, because the other thing too is because we haven't seen Louis in a long time. The red's gone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He looks disheveled.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even with his comeback, he looks disheveled. And part of that, I think, is part of his character.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think he's tried to play out the character of the. The old man who's just lost.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But also guys like, not particularly Rogan, but a lot of people in the Rogan universe, like the Ovan and a bunch of other ones brought Louis on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When Louie couldn't get booked anywhere else, he went on podcasts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He started. And those podcasts, that was a way for those podcasts to get a step up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because Louie was one day was at the top of his game. He was an SNL host regular. He had a show on fx. He got all these awards and accolades. He was always on Fresh Air at npr.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then one day, nobody would pick up the phone anymore. And so what happened was these podcasts would have him come on and then he could take his old audience and convert them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so he has kind of. Louie is part of the reason why Joe Rogan and that podcast pipeline got so big.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And how Donald Trump was able to. He is a part of that, whether or not he wants to admit it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So who do we got next?

[B]

I don't know who that is. He has, like a really egg shaped head, whoever that is.

[A]

Okay, so that's Marc Andreessen. We're going to take a break because I have a lot to. To say about that one. We'll be right back after this.

[C]

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[A]

Okay, so that's Marc Andreessen.

[B]

Who's that?

[A]

Marc Andreessen is a billionaire. He co founded a thing called Netscape.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So you know how you have Internet Explorer or Firefox or Apple? It's a browser. It was one of like the first browsers for the Internet and it was very, very, very, very popular. He made a lot of money. And then he founded a venture capital firm called Andreessen Horowitz, which was an early investor in Twitter. Okay. He was, he is now one of the top tech investors in the United States defense industry. He was like a Hillary Clinton backer, but by 2024 he shifted completely into being pro Trump.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And he donated $3 million to Maga Inc. In 2024. He is now loudly anti DEI and he said that universities would pay the price for supporting diversity, equity, inclusion. He has stated repeatedly that he doesn't believe in introspection.

[B]

Yeah, I could. Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, he makes a big deal. He said, and I quote, if you go back before a hundred years ago, it never, it never would have occurred to anybody to be introspective. It's all a new construct. Western civilization had to kind of invent the concept of the individual. Right. The individual needs to feel guilt, needs to look back where it needs to, you know, dwell on the past. It never resonated with me. Before you say anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What I do want to say, him saying that introspection is a new idea. Socrates in 399bce stated, quote, the unexamined life is not worth living. This is very much like the same thing of like Jesus Christ said, like a man cannot live on bread alone. Yeah. Like there's like there's there's saying. There's so many sayings from, like, famous philosophers that are short enough to be tweets.

[B]

Since the dawn of time.

[A]

Since the dawn of time, people have

[B]

said, what if I looked inward for a minute?

[A]

Since. Since we invented writing, people have written down, I've been thinking about stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They drew walls. They said, here's a deer. Yeah, here's me and my friend talking about stuff.

[A]

And here's my buddy going, why is deer.

[B]

Why is deer.

[A]

Why is me? That Mark Andreessen thinks all of that is a waste of time, Much of it created by Sigmund Freud.

[B]

He looks like he's about to get pushed off a wall, like Humpty Dumpty.

[A]

Yes. He also, weirdly, has a literal egg shaped pinhead. He looks like Egghead. Vincent Price as Egghead from Batman 66. There is a lot in here. He is a psychopath, but also when Elon went crazy, or like, actually when I would say not when crazy. When Elon went mask off, Andreessen went full crazy.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And Andreessen has been a back. A back funder of a lot of things recently. He keeps saying that. There was an interview, I think he just recently went on Rogan and other podcasts, and he believes that AI has already reached AGI, which is artificial general intelligence.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That he just believes that AI is.

[B]

AI was a supplement.

[A]

No. Yeah, I know you're thinking AG1. He's a tech billionaire, though, who believes that because he got rich at a specific time, even though he doesn't seem to understand that he has a lot of money that he can seed out out there. So if he, like, with three. Andreessen Horowitz, he, you know, seeded 80 companies. Two of them did really well. Yeah, that's because you have enough money to do a shotgun blast. Yeah, that. That's because you were there early enough to get enough money and start up from Netscape.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If Netscape didn't exist, none of these other things would exist.

[B]

I'm going to put them in the prohibited by community guidelines, because that's what the other guys there are doing.

[A]

Yeah, you should. You should. He is one of the people who is constantly pushing that we should replace human beings with AI and he's all around just an evil guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But he's also. He's also so uncharismatic and weird.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That people actually don't know who he is in a way that I think is even more dangerous because he can stand in the background, just throw money at things. In the back. But that being said, mark 12.5 million and we'll. We'll be nice.

[B]

No, we won't.

[A]

I won't. 12.5 million for both of us. It's 25 million.

[B]

Let's see. Now, this man right here is a very famous face.

[A]

That's a very famous face.

[B]

That's Michael Jordan.

[A]

That is Michael Jordan. Yeah, that is Michael Jordan. And Michael Jordan actually is evil.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, Michael Jordan.

[B]

I know. He said fuck them kids.

[A]

Yeah. But also like, like in general with basketball. Like, okay, so he's a 6 foot 6 basketball hall of famer from North Carolina.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Prolific gambling addict.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

To the point where there are accusations around it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Where people believe that his gambling might have been the reason why his dad was murdered.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

There's a fate. Like Michael Jordan's dad was murdered and some people tie that into his very famous gambling. But also there's beliefs that Michael Jordan left basketball for a bit and became a base, like a bad baseball player because of gambling, which I don't know if that's true. He. Some of the things that he would do on the basketball court, though, are insane. Like, one of the things he would do to motivate himself is he would find something that people did to drive him mad, to make him want to play harder against people.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Sometimes, though, he didn't have anything.

[B]

We made made up stories.

[A]

He made up stories in his head and like, that's like psychopath. Jordan also declined at one point to endorse a Democratic candidate for Senate who was running against US Senator Jesse Helms in North Carolina. Jesse Helms also like, one of the all time, like, evil senators. Yeah. Insanely racist, psychopathic man who held power for way too long. When asked about this, Jordan reportedly said, and I quote, republicans buy sneakers too. Now, to be fair.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He. Apparently he said it as a joke, but also it does follow underneath that dolly thing of like, hey, hey, guys, I'm above the politics of it all. What I would say is, watch the Last dance. It is an incredible. Like, I. Even though Jordan was huge when I. When we were kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Neither of us.

[B]

That was the documentary where he was like, talking about how petty he was.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. He's very so. He's so petty. And also at one point he had a Hitler mustache for some reason. And everyone's like, sworn have a Hitler mustache. Anyway, I think that like, versus Charles Barkley, who has done a lot of overt good. Yeah, I'm sure Jordan has given money

[B]

and like, here's what I'm saying, here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's definitely not up there with emotionally luscious. He's not. He's not Charles Barkley.

[A]

He's not a botched.

[B]

He's not batched. Is he the first Papa Tillie? I would say he is because he's selling sneakers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Doing that. He's. He's commercialized. He has a good image, but he's like still kind of an ass. That's very Papa too.

[A]

It's very Papa too.

[B]

I wonder what the word papa too he means.

[A]

I'm not going to look it up, but all I know is it's the Rock rubbing his mouth.

[B]

Shampoo.

[A]

You know what's funny? The Rock not on this list. No. We just made him his own category.

[B]

No. Okay, so I'm putting Michael Jordan in Papatouille.

[A]

Got it. Okay, who do we got next?

[B]

Looks like Vladimir Putin.

[A]

Yes. Controversial. Controversial.

[B]

Controversial.

[A]

No, it's controversial. List him as bald. Because actually as I wrote, I wrote this list kind of from memory as bald people. Yeah. But when I looked closer at a picture of Putin, he has more hair than you expect, but it is like receding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think he's had medical intervention.

[B]

I was gonna say he's also had

[A]

a ton of work.

[B]

He loves getting work done.

[A]

Yeah. There's so many times where Putin's face. There's also the other issue you run into with Putin is he definitely uses body doubles.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because there's times where you see various different Putin's, some of which have extremely round, almost like. Like a. Like a moon pie face. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's crazy on that side of way. So let's go with Vladimir Putin.

[B]

Do we need to explain why he's bad or evil?

[A]

I think, honestly, I think we do.

[B]

Really.

[A]

He's the current president of Russia. The former prime minister.

[B]

Twice president, strong word.

[A]

Yeah. He's basically the de facto ruler of Russia since 1990. He's a former KGB agent who rose to head of the Russian FSB and then suddenly became prime minister before suddenly becoming president when Boris Yeltsin suddenly resigned from office.

[B]

And then people suddenly kept falling out of windows for 50 years.

[A]

Yes. He has suppressed speech. He has murdered and assassinated political rivals and dissidents using things like polonium, plutonium windows, Literal shootings. He has killed hostages, staged false flag attacks, committed more war crimes than Joe Rogan has had. Guess. He has committed genocide during his multi year attempt to conquer Ukraine Also areas in Chechnya and more. He used to love to pose shirtless a lot.

[B]

On horseback.

[A]

Yes, especially on horseback. But in recent years, he has been hidden from the public. Hiding in a Dhaka or dacha. It's basically a Russian mansion. Because he is terrified of COVID a couple. And he probably has been suffering from cancer off and on for the last six to seven or so years. We hope that he. That being said, I'm. I think. I think I'm legally allowed to say that.

[B]

I guess. So I'm going to put him in prohibited melee because the bots online. The bots online. They got a lot of bots. If there's nothing he's doing, it's doing. Putting a bunch of people in front of a bunch of cell phones in a warehouse. Yeah, that's one thing Putin's doing.

[A]

That is definitely one thing that Putin is doing. So, yeah, let's not. Let's not ruin our reach of our episode.

[B]

And I'm not going to say anything about this guy.

[A]

And to Mr. Third, that one word that I said. I hope that he bleeped that whole part. Yeah, I hope that he bleep.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

Thank you so much. And Mrs. B, who do you have next on the list?

[B]

So after Vladimir Putin, it looks like Stanley Tucci.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

King of the noodles.

[A]

Yeah. King of the nudes. Stanley, too.

[B]

I wish it was nudes, but it's actually noodles.

[A]

Noodles. Yeah. Because he did get a TV show on CNN where he just traveled to. I think it's every province in Italy.

[B]

And just ate noodles.

[A]

And just ate noodles. And talked very deep into a microphone.

[B]

I just went on just. And talked to people, picked fresh lemons.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lived my dream.

[A]

Yeah. I have here understanding Tucci. I just wrote. I still don't get it.

[B]

You still don't get it.

[A]

Yeah. I just don't get the appeal.

[B]

Wow. Okay. To be clear for maybe newer listeners who came to this podcast after seeing you on crashing out. Because that has happened now in our comment section.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People expecting another crashing out experience. Us having social media together started of the original TikTok was you getting mad at me for saying that Stanley Tucci can get it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you not understanding why Stanley Tucci can get it. And then like 4 million women getting in your comment section to be like, you fool, Stanley Tucci is the female gaze.

[A]

Yeah. He just seems like a neighbor's dad who is safe to me.

[B]

Stanley Tucci. I'm not gonna put him in Mr. Worldwide because. Mr. Worldwide because that's for Mr. Worldwide. But he is emotionally luscious.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

In every single way.

[A]

You can put him up there all you want.

[B]

I am. This is my tier list at this point, the fact that you do not understand the appeal of Stanley.

[A]

I'm just gonna say. Can I just say real fast in it. Yeah, Fast. Just. Just for the engagement of it all. I don't get it. For the engagement.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Because I get it. I get it. And he can get it. Okay. That bald man. Yeah, I understand. I've seen it. I watched that man clear broken glass out of a dishwasher. Yeah. And he was all bent over. I was like, oh, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. The way that man talks about ravioli. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

He's describing how much salt to put in water to boil your pasta. And you're like, I'm in.

[A]

Yeah, I get it.

[B]

Immediately in.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Cook me like a lobster.

[A]

Yeah. Ye.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Also, I do feel. I. I do feel like he would just be fun to be around.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

He definitely. He's definitely one of those people who's just like, hey, come over. We're cooking a pizza outside. Yeah, he's just always cooking a pizza outside. It's what he does.

[B]

But not in the Jimmy Kimmel way.

[A]

Not in the Jimmy Kimmel way.

[B]

Okay, next is Stephen Miller.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I did a whole episode about him.

[A]

Yeah. We don't even need to cut.

[B]

I don't think we need to do it because. Prohibited by community.

[A]

I have an update. I do have an update, though. Stephen Miller's wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

May be selling her podcast that has a quarter of the amount of YouTube subscribers as us.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

For like $15 million or something. That's an option to Paramount.

[B]

Who's watching podcasts on Paramount?

[A]

Larry Ellison. What? Because it's all. It's all. It's the money laundering scheme.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's all just a money laundering scheme.

[B]

Can we. Can we wash money with our podcast?

[A]

I just said that Jeff Bezos could give. Not Jeff. Marc addressing can give us $25 million, and we'll say nice things about it. Him. And then you said no.

[B]

Well, okay. Stupid moral.

[A]

All right? That's what we have to do. That's why we have to do ad reads for testosterone. And now. Okay, everybody else out here doing better, help us. I'm putting this deep enough in the episode that we could just say what's going on. All right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's getting expensive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. I got a tour to sell. I got plane tick. You guys seen A plane ticket.

[B]

Recently, we did a whole episode on berries. You know how much berries cost? We got this toddler. He beat all these berries.

[A]

It was. To be fair, there was a comment. I'll go ahead and say that was a crazy episode to be like, are berries poisonous, by the way?

[B]

Yeah. We were like, yeah. I don't know, man.

[A]

By the way, check this.

[B]

We turned down gambling, okay?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, God damn it. We turned out so much gambling to the point where, like, legit. We've had, like. We've had interventions from people being like, but they want to offer you so much. But I was like, shut up.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

Listen, the amount. The amount that you put them in. Put them in. Prohibited.

[B]

Prohibited.

[A]

Prohibited.

[B]

Next up, I don't know who the next guy is. Who's that guy?

[A]

That's Dana White.

[B]

Who's Dana? Wait, is he the wrestling guy?

[A]

No, he's the UFC guy.

[B]

That's not wrestling.

[A]

It's bjj.

[B]

B. B. They're giving bj. Switch up. No.

[A]

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. UFC in mma.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I love how the more I'm just yelling initials at you. Yes. That's Dana White, who would probably. Probably uses that testosterone stuff. That's why he's the president and CEO of the ufc. He is evil as fuck. This man's evil. I always want to tell you right now, this man, generationally evil. He actually is Joe Rogan's boss.

[B]

He's Joe Rogan's boss.

[A]

Joe Rogan's an announcer on ufc.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Dana White is really, really good friend.

[B]

He's the guy that wants to do the UFC at the White House.

[A]

He's a guy who is doing the UFC at the White House and saying that it's not political doing that. And his example is. I've spoken at the Republican National Convention a bunch of times. That's not political. I'm just really close friends with the President, says Dana White.

[B]

So would he do UFC at Joe Biden's White House?

[A]

No, because he hates Joe Biden, so.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. So this is the. One of the things. Dana White is one of the more evil people on this list. Yeah. Because of how he tries to hide it. During COVID he tried to. He had a fight island.

[B]

A fight island.

[A]

Because, you know, like, the NBA had the bubble.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People had the bubble. He was like, we'll just go get an island.

[B]

How wrong did that go?

[A]

Yeah. Anyway, so UFC has worked to suppress the wages and opportunity of their fighters by crushing union efforts and blackballing Any fighters who try to go, like, outside of their network. Yeah. They've also bought up a series of their competitors. He is a. I said a close personal friend of Trump. He's been on Rogan a lot. He also is the guy who walks Trump to his chair at UFC fight fights. So whenever Donald Trump. UFC fights now, if Trump is available, is a MAGA rally.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where Dana White walks out with, like, Trump Kid Rock, Elon Musk. Guy Fieri's usually already in his chair. They just shake hands as they walk by.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm like, I see you. Yeah, I see you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But anyway, Anthony Bourdain was right about you. Yeah.

[A]

These, these, these, these big horrific events are basically just MAGA rallies now where he'll come out and Dana White's always like, pumping up the crowd. He was also there during the White House Correspondents Dinner and then was like, I look at all this stuff, whatever. He's just, he's a, he's a real, he's a real bag of shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would say he's equal with Vince McMahon in his level of evil, though. Vince McMahon tried to cover up murders. I don't know if Dana White has directly. Yeah, we don't know, but he does. He did also slap his wife on camera. But yeah. In 2022, Dana White slapped the shit out of his wife at a New Year's Eve party. Shortly after that, he founded a competition called Power Slap.

[B]

Okay. Prohibited.

[A]

So some people believe. Some people believe that Dana White founded Power Slap, which is a change.

[B]

The SEO.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Because that's what Jeffrey started. Yeah. It's Shane. They did the conspiracy and the controversy makeup palette.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

They made a makeup palette called the controversy palette so that when you googled Jeffree Star Controversy or Shane Dawson controversy

[A]

or Dana White slap, it would come

[B]

up as this image instead of this story about him slapping his wife.

[A]

Yeah, that's what people believe. This Power Slap is a competition where two people stand at a table and they slap each other hard enough until they give each other concussions, which will lead to cte. But don't worry, he pays them dog shit while they happen and he makes sure that there is a bunch of probably the most evil people on earth sitting around the side, commentating, laughing, and making short form video content around it.

[B]

I'm going to put them under prohibited, you know, because I don't, I don't want to talk about him anymore. I'm very upset.

[A]

Oh, I forgot something before. As you're putting him in there, but he's also on the board of Metta.

[B]

The Facebook thing yet.

[A]

All of Facebook, Facebook, Instagram threads. What's the other one there? WhatsApp.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah, he's on the board.

[B]

So if we make a short form clip to play on Instagram reels making fun of him, he's going to suppress that.

[A]

Possibly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah, so I don't think we're going to.

[B]

So then prohibited, because he's going to try to silence us in our silly jokes about him. Probably every person I've ever met that started doing the mma. Yeah, it's like. It's a weird, crazy pipeline.

[A]

There's a.

[B]

It's like, guys go join MMA gyms or the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gyms, and specifically white guys, they join the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym, and then it, like, becomes their whole personality and then they get Roganized.

[A]

Yeah. Well, so part of that is. I know I've got. Seen people online have talked about this, where if you create a profile, some people like to have different profiles for different things.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So, like, I was talking somebody the other day, and they're like, it's crazy that I just raw dog the whole Internet under one name.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're like, you don't have a fake one. You don't have a Fenster, you don't have a sock puppet account. I was like, no, it's everything. Just Pearl Mania 500. Like, that's insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're seeing a very skewed vision of the world. And I said, yes, I like it. But I know people who have multiple ones. So guys who are really into mma, they have, like, just an MMA one. Yeah. And it's just like Rogan and Nazi pipelines.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Instantly, immediately, it's like. Because that's just everything that's tied into it.

[B]

Intermittent fasting and cold plunges.

[A]

All right, Mrs. P. Yeah, we're. We're in the final now.

[B]

Yeah, we're in the. But last three.

[A]

The last three.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That are going to be all over the place.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So with that, let's take a break and when we come back, we're going to rank them. The last three of the most evil balds.

[C]

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[B]

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[A]

Okay, and we're here. It's the end of the tier list of most evil balds. This bubble on the wall has been bugging you the entire time. Look at that. Listener, viewer. I'm getting rid of the bubble. I did.

[B]

It's gonna come back.

[A]

It's, it's. It's this.

[B]

It's just moving to a different color.

[A]

It really is. Okay, so with that, we are ready. And I can tell you already know,

[B]

I can see who the next one is. And I don't know why. He's here. She's there.

[A]

She's that. They.

[B]

They.

[A]

Let's be safe with the pronouns. Just say a day.

[B]

It's Trixie Mattel.

[A]

It's Trixie Mattel.

[B]

Bald.

[A]

Bald Trixie. So what do you think? Where would you put. Because here's what I did. I actually don't have anything written here.

[B]

You don't have anything written about her?

[A]

I have nothing. I just have drag queen and DJ and then I have Mrs. P. Go off.

[B]

Go off. Okay.

[A]

I mean, because we love their podcast. We do love the bald and the beautiful is great.

[B]

Which they had to be on Trixie Motel show where they did HGTV. Love that. They have a great YouTube channel. I listen. They're capitalist Barbie. I love this for them. Yeah, they're. They're out here. They're winning all stars. They're doing their thing. I'm. I feel like it's emotionally luscious.

[A]

I would agree with you.

[B]

Okay, great. I didn't know if you were gonna push back.

[A]

No, absolutely not. Because the thing is. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. What I'll say is sometimes people get attacked, Right. For, like, taking the money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't mind when they're, like, overt about it.

[B]

No.

[A]

If they're overt about it, like Trixie is like, get it.

[B]

Take the money.

[A]

Go get it, Go get it, go get it. Also, especially because Trixie talks a lot about how their. Their poor upbringing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like growing up in poverty in Wisconsin.

[B]

Yeah, I think.

[A]

Yeah, Wisconsin. And so, like, for some people, like, they see that and they go, I need to take the opportunities that are in front of us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And sometimes people have criticism about it, and I completely understand and I can sometimes agree with those criticisms, but in some of these cases, I'm like, that's not enough for me to get rid of you. Let's just go over real fast who we have an emotionally luscious Bob the Drag queen. Yes.

[B]

Charles Barkley, Stanley Tucci, Trixie Mattel.

[A]

I think that's pretty good for emotionally luscious. Yeah, that's a pretty good. If I had to be. If I had to sit at a table.

[B]

Oh, this would be an incredible dinner table.

[A]

This would be an incredible table.

[B]

Oh, the conversation, the meal. Tucci's there.

[A]

Charles Barkley's there.

[B]

Charles Barkley's there.

[A]

Yeah. Stanley Tucci serving. Did Bob the Drag Queen, Charles Barkley,

[B]

Trixie Mattel, and us.

[A]

And us. And we're just on both hands, just going like this the whole time.

[B]

Listen, Emotion. And so is Bob, because Bob's got the new.

[A]

Bob's got the new hair. The new hair is coming.

[B]

Okay. So, okay, this is a big drop down from Trixie.

[A]

Yeah. Because. And this is why I knew we needed to get it in. Okay. Because the last two have charges. The last two have. Have been convicted of.

[B]

Convicted. The next person on this list is Mike Tyson.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, Mike Tyson, former world heavyweight boxing champ and considered the baddest man on the planet. Also a convicted rapist.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

In his.

[B]

I'm just putting him right into the community guidelines.

[A]

Right in the community guidelines.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you want me to give you a list of some of the things he did?

[B]

No, I know.

[A]

In 2013, his autobiography, Undisputed Truth, Tyson admitted to using the urine of his then wife, Monica Turner, to pass doping tests. He was married to Turner from 1997 to 2003. He also used his infant's urine for the same purpose. He bit off the ear of Evander Holyfield. He's an avid supporter of Donald Trump. He main evented that Klan rally of a Netflix boxing match against Jake Paul. Remember that one?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And in May of this year, May 5, 2026, he sat on the Theo Vaughn podcast in front of a live audience in LA where he begged Theo Vaughn to say the phrase N word lover begged him over and over and over again until Theo said it. And then the sold out audience of nearly 2,000 people cheered. And then they posted that 10 days later on the Internet, editing it very specifically. But yeah. Yeah, that's. That's what Mike Tyson does.

[B]

Great.

[A]

And that's not even the first time he's done it. He also begged Norm MacDonald to say the N word. Norm MacDonald actually went out of his way to make a joke about it by saying, and I quote, I don't like saying that word on camera. Okay. So.

[B]

Oh, okay. That. Oh, rough.

[A]

That was rough. That was one will be a lot better.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. The next. The, the final evil bald.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is current president Donald J. Trump.

[A]

Yeah. But look at the picture I got.

[B]

That is.

[A]

That's an unedited picture. Here's the thing about Donald Trump. Is Donald Trump bald?

[B]

Yeah. He had a surgery.

[A]

Did he have a surgery?

[B]

Yeah, it was in what's her name's book. Who's the ex wife? I think the one that's buried on the golf course.

[A]

She.

[B]

In her book. Okay, this is, this is just from the.

[A]

From the, from the dome.

[B]

From the dome with hair on it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is in her book, she wrote that he had a surgery to get his hair done and it was extremely painful. And he blamed her for it because she had said he should go get the surgery for it to replace his hair. And so he blamed her for all the pain that she was in. And that is why he allegedly threw in the book her. And yeah, that was like his. But so in that she said that Marla Maples. I think it's Marla Maples.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So. But yeah, so it was like he. He got the surgery on his hair to try to replace the hair.

[A]

Yeah. So I can't list all the crimes and horror things this man has done. You guys know it. You live in his America right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here's what I will say.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is I know that our immediate thought is to put it in prohibited because obviously. But I would actually say that this is weirdly a Mountbatten curse.

[B]

Yeah. No, this is because this is generation. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. He has kids. He has grandkids.

[B]

Ivana Trump. It was Ivana Trump's book.

[A]

Oh, that's the first wife.

[B]

Allegations of marital rape against Donald Trump stem from the 1990. 1990 divorce deposition from his first wife, Ivana, where she stated under oath that that happened. And then I believe it was in a book that she wrote. I'm pretty sure.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Anyway. But Then during his presidential run, he forced her, allegedly, to recant that story.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because he wanted to run for president.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he buried her on a golf course.

[A]

Yeah. Go mow your mom, Don Jr. That's what I mean.

[B]

That's why they get Mountbatten. Because they're evil.

[A]

Yeah. No.

[B]

Kids are evil.

[A]

No, the kids are evil, too. And Donald Trump just settled a lawsuit with himself where he told the United States government that they're never allowed to investigate him or his children for tax crimes ever again.

[B]

That's so Putin energy.

[A]

So Putin.

[B]

So. Not that we would ever say anything negative about Putin.

[A]

Listen, big fan, Russian bots. Big fans.

[B]

Come get us.

[A]

Anyway, Lex Luthor, weirdly, somehow, I would say. Actually, you know what's crazy? If we did do this list, Lex Luthor would just be botched. Betty, Lex Luthor is nowhere near as evil as most of these guys. Maybe Papa Tuohy. I put him in Papa Tui With Michael Jordan. Yeah, him and Michael Jordan could hang out. Yeah, sure, he tried to kill Superman, but who hasn't? Yeah, Superman. I don't trust an alien. Yeah, that's kind of where that goes. What? How that is. Well, Mrs. P, what do you think of the list?

[B]

I'm deeply concerned about this list.

[A]

Yeah. Or are you more concerned about things I've said? Yeah, I did fly off the handle quite a few times here, but we had a good time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what I did learn is, on the Crashing out episode, we had 50 names, and that took nearly two hours. I cut this down to 20, and it still nearly took two hours. So, with that being said, everybody, thank you so much. Please, like, subscribe, comment, all those fun things. Mrs. P. Any. Any final words for the people out there? Specifically, any bald people that might be mad at me?

[B]

Listen, have a great week. Also, this isn't about you if you're bald or don't have hair. This is about these evil balds. Yes, except for our emotionally luscious and of course, Mr. Worldbot himself.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Not talking about those five people who are awesome.

[A]

They're amazing people. And even if they did something wrong. No, they didn't. All right with that, guys, we'll see you next week. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got Too many, too many times Open it too many times Remember to smile.