The EVIL COMPANY you are paying EVERY DAY | TMT 164

Summary

Podcast Summary: Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500

Episode 164: "The EVIL COMPANY you are paying EVERY DAY"

Release Date: February 15, 2026
Hosts: Pearlmania500 (A and B, a husband and wife duo)

Episode Overview

In this episode, the hosts embark on a deep dive into the shadowy world of private equity—specifically, the mega-corporation Blackstone. Spurred by concerns about ownership of amusement parks, they unravel a complex web connecting Blackstone to nearly every facet of everyday life, from the music you listen to and the DNA kits you buy, to hotels, dating apps, and cookies. The tone is irreverent and comedic, but the central message is a sobering look at the unchecked reach of private equity into the most unexpected corners of daily existence.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Why Private Equity? (02:25–06:12)

• Trigger: Mrs. P's investigation into amusement park safety leads to the discovery that many are owned by private equity.
• Explanation:
  • Private equity (PE) involves investors buying up private companies, restructuring them, aiming for short-term profit, then selling.
  • The process often centers on cost-cutting—usually at the expense of employees or product quality.
• Quote:
  • "Basically, private equity are like house flippers...but instead of millennial gray paint, they’re replacing workers with iPads and then selling for 100% profit." – B (05:36)

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2. Everyday Casualties of Private Equity (06:12–10:23)

• Jersey Mike’s Subs Example: After being bought by Blackstone, beloved practices (like careful gluten-free food prep) are feared to be diminished.
• Iconic PE Moves: Layoffs, cost-cutting, switch to cheaper ingredients or materials.
• Running Joke: Every time something gets bought by private equity: “RIP. Two years left before the cheese changes.”

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3. Blackstone’s Reach—Theme Parks and Beyond (07:31–10:32)

• Ownership List: Busch Gardens, SeaWorld, Sesame Place—all owned by Blackstone.
• Host's disbelief:
  • "A company named Blackstone is taking orcas and putting them in Ohio?" – A (07:53)
• Childhood Nostalgia: Both hosts have a history with these parks.
• Concerns: Trust in the company’s ability to maintain family-focused, safe environments when driven by profit maximization.

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4. Deep Dive: The DNA Data Grab (13:28–21:38)

• Blackstone's Acquisition of Ancestry.com (2020):
  • Holds 30B historical records, 18M DNA kits sold, 25M+ online users.
• Mormon Connection & Controversy:
  • Ancestry.com's roots in Mormon genealogy and the practice of posthumous baptisms.
  • "They baptized Anne Frank... to be a Mormon." – B (18:36)
  • Catholic and Jewish backlash when deceased members were “converted” without consent.
• DNA + Longevity Research:
  • Partnership with Google’s Calico for DNA longevity/therapeutic research; Calico’s tech founder linked (briefly mentioned) to the Epstein files.
  • "Ancestry.com, a company that's supposed to be looking backwards, was trying to figure out how to make people live forever. And they have a lot of DNA." – B/A (20:02)

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5. Spanx and Feminist Optics vs. PE Reality (21:55–25:21)

• Spanx's Story:
  • Founded by a woman, grew into a billion-dollar business.
  • During Blackstone's purchase, founder demanded an all-female board.
  • Despite empowerment narrative, the host notes: “But owned by nefarious private equity company that's sitting in the background of everything.” – A (25:13)

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6. Blackstone Owns All Sorts of Surprising Companies (25:27–27:00, 36:39–40:02, 45:41–47:02)

• PGP Glass: Provider of most perfume, pill, and liquor bottles worldwide.
• Semiconductor and payment companies, hotel chains, music rights, and more.
• Madame Tussauds & Legoland: Combined under Merlin Entertainments, also owned.

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7. They Own Your Love Life…and Your Dog Walker (28:27–37:18)

• Dating Apps: Blackstone bought a majority stake in Bumble (where women initiate contact).
  • Immediately after, 30% layoffs, further cost cuts, and probable AI replacements.
  • "This is what they call the restructuring." – B (33:14)
• Rover (Dog Walking App):
  • “It’s Bumble for dog walkers and babysitters.” – B (35:26)
  • Hosts note privacy/data-sharing risks.
  • Discussion of gig economy predations—workers as 1099 contractors, data cross-pollination and potential exploitation.
• ServePro (cleaning/remediation company): Anecdote of how insurance-paid home repair sent money straight to Blackstone, looping personal misfortune back into the Private Equity profit machine.

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8. The Music Industry Takeover (37:18–39:41)

• Music IP Portfolio:
  • Timbaland (including all Missy Elliott albums)
  • Justin Timberlake, Chainsmokers, Halsey, Bruno Mars (“Uptown Funk”), Ed Sheeran, Fleetwood Mac (all of Buckingham & Nicks, 50% of Neil Young, 100% of Shakira), Red Hot Chili Peppers, and “Despacito.”
• Host’s grief:
  • “They own Dreams by Fleetwood Mac. Blackstone owns my dreams, babe.” – A (45:45)
  • "Every time I go and listen to Despacito, I'm funding a private equity firm to buy another business and fire more people…" – A (39:09)

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9. Hospitality Monopoly: Hotels & Ethics (48:17–50:46)

• Blackstone bought Hilton Hotels Corp for $26B, making it the largest hotel owner in the world.
• Discussion: Most hotel chains are secretly under just a handful of conglomerates.
• Ethical Issue: Hilton's relationship with government agencies—e.g., letting ICE rent rooms—highlights how these entities default to government interests to protect themselves and their profit engines.

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10. Ghost Kitchens & the Endgame of Efficiency (67:58–69:46)

• Ghost Kitchens:
  • Centralized, unbranded warehouses producing multiple restaurant “brands” for app delivery—depersonalized, untraceable food, part of a wider trend towards maximum efficiency and minimal human contact.
• Cultural Impact: Concludes this is the logical extension of private equity: app-driven life, ghost kitchens, digital music, and gig work, all funneled through PE profit models.

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11. Crumble Cookie Taste Test—And the “Utah Energy” of Sweets (52:53–63:08)

• Mrs. P brings in Crumbl Cookies (recently given a $500M loan from Blackstone, not currently owned).
• Critique: Extremely sweet, overpriced ($4 for each mini cookie), sterile iPad interface ordering.
  • “That situation feels very private equity.” – B (60:45)
  • Discussion of Mormon culture’s sugar fixation as root of Crumbl’s success/branding.
• They briefly touch on Crumbl's possible MLM “Utah energy” and a founder’s outing (Twink and a Redhead anecdote).

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12. Private Equity, AI, and the Future (64:10–66:38)

• Breaking News: Blackstone increases stake in AI firm Anthropic (makers of Claude AI) to $1B.
• Hosts’ Chilling Analysis:
  • AI is being trained on massive, possibly stolen datasets.
  • Parallels drawn to past whistleblower persecutions vs. today’s unchecked corporate data hoarding.
  • “We are building Pedophile Ultron. That is how this is all happening.” – A (65:26)

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13. Back to Jersey Mike’s – Full Circle, Full Sadness (66:38–68:07)

• Jersey Mike's bought by Blackstone:
  • “Jersey Mike’s was the first sandwich you got after your pregnancy.” – A (67:01)
  • Hosts mourn the likely, inevitable decline: “The first thing that’s gonna go is the bread.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Whenever something we love gets bought up by private equity, we're like, 'RIP. It's over.'" – B (05:58)
• "A company named Blackstone is taking orcas and putting them in Ohio?" – A (07:53)
• "They baptized Anne Frank... to be a Mormon." – B (18:36)
• Describing PE layoffs:
  • "What's your company title? Trust and Safety. We don’t need that." – A (31:56)
• On the insidious, all-encompassing nature of PE:
  • "Without this happening...this is another way that our lives have ended up paying for these people" – A (43:32)
• Music Ownership Grief:
  • "They own the Mac. Blackstone owns the Mac." – A (38:21)
  • "Every time I go and I listen to Despacito, I'm funding a private equity firm..." – A (39:09)
• Cookie Taste Test Reality:
  • "That situation feels...very private equity. The human element telling me, no, go order on the iPad." – B (60:41)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|---------------| | What is Private Equity? | 02:25 – 06:12 | | Amusement Parks’ Ownership Black Hole | 07:31 – 10:32 | | Ancestry.com DNA Deep Dive | 13:28 – 21:38 | | Spanx's Feminist Optics vs. PE Reality | 21:55 – 25:21 | | Music Catalog Ownership Horror | 37:18 – 39:41 | | Hotel Monopolies & ICE Room Scandal | 48:17 – 50:46 | | Crumbl Cookie Taste Test | 52:53 – 63:08 | | AI/Anthropic & AI Dystopia | 64:10 – 66:38 | | Jersey Mike’s Grief / Reflection | 66:38 – 68:07 |

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Tone and Style

• Conversational, irreverent, and humorous even as the subject matter grows increasingly bleak.
• The hosts weave personal anecdotes, running jokes (“private equity is a disease/mind virus”), and pop culture references (Mormon culture, Lord of the Rings, Ghost Kitchens, iPad interfaces).
• There’s a clear sense of combined disbelief, frustration, and dark comedy as they reckon with how a single private equity company sits behind so many “seemingly nice” facets of life.

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Conclusion & Main Takeaway

This episode lays bare how a single private equity firm (Blackstone) reaches its tentacles into nearly every aspect of American (and global) daily life—food, travel, entertainment, relationships, housing, and even personal data—often to the detriment of individual quality, safety, and community. Expect recurring themes of loss of human touch (iPads replacing people), efficiency over empathy, and existential worry at the power these faceless organizations wield.

Final Message: Even if you think you’re making a small, local purchase or enjoying harmless entertainment, odds are some distant, faceless PE conglomerate is quietly cashing in—and deciding who gets to keep their job, what music you’ll hear at your wedding, and what’s in your sandwich bread.

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For more, check out their Patreon and new episodes every Sunday.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

Remember to smile. Welcome to Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit next to each other and at a table.

[B]

Last week, we talked about tragic deaths. Get past that. What I did focus on was those amusement parks. Remember how scared I got of amusement parks after that episode?

[A]

Yeah, because we used to really enjoy amusement parks. And then we had a toddler, and you were like, I don't know if we can go to amusement parks. And I was like, well, once he's like this tall that we go to amusement park.

[B]

And then I said, no, you don't know the things I've seen on the Internet about amusement parks now. Anyway, I went online and I was like, I wonder if there's any amusement parks that are safe. Who owns these amusement parks? Who's making sure they're safe?

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

And guess what?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I found a new rabbit hole I've jumped into. It turns out, private equity.

[A]

Private equity?

[B]

Yeah. Private equity owns a lot of stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Including a lot of amusement parks.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I know. Now, I did want to quickly jump in before we get started and explain what private equity is a little bit. For people that don't understand why private equity owning an amusement park might be a bad idea.

[A]

Yeah. Because private equity is one of those terms that gets thrown around a lot now. And I feel like oftentimes people end up, like, they feel like they miss the first day of class when people talk about some of this stuff. Because we're like, private equity is evil. And people are like, I don't know what that means.

[B]

Yeah. So here's what it is. Private equity is an investment class consisting of capital invested into private companies, and then that company is not listed on the stock exchange. Private equity, the whole idea of it is they invest in a company, they acquire the company.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They restructure it, and then they grow the business. And then their whole goal is they're going to sell it for a profit in like five or ten years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's their whole goal. Buy it, restructure it and grow it, and then sell it.

[A]

Now that sounds great on paper. Yeah, that does sound great on paper. And there's a couple of terms you threw in there. That, again, is one of the economic things that people might mix. One of those capital.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And capital is money and assets. Okay. So private equity equity is like the thing that you actually own. It's privately owned. So a bunch of rich people come in and they use their money and they buy up all these assets. And the assets are things like the. Let's look at amusement park. Right. The amusement park land.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

The. The actual rides themselves. All of the different places where you buy food. What are those things? The commissary, concessions, concession stands. All those different.

[B]

Buy all the hot dogs and corn dogs and funnel cakes.

[A]

The intellectual property of the actual characters. Maybe they have a mascot. Right. For the.

[B]

For the own that.

[A]

Now they own that. Then they take all of this different stuff and they go, okay, how can we tweak all of these little things to make even more money out of it? So you're going from like, the founder of the amusement park who's like, I just want a fun place to. For kids and families to enjoy themselves and have a nice day. To slowly being like, how can we. All right, we'll add a fast pass line. Okay. I got my next idea. It's going to be all right. We make them bob for corn.

[B]

We're going to fire 100 people and replace them with iPads.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. I have an idea. A whistling robot that slowly moves up and down the aisles.

[B]

My arch nemesis. That goddamn Giant grocery store robot.

[A]

Anytime we go to a place that has a whistling robot, I immediately just get my entire back. I yell, we need a butlerian jihad.

[B]

I literally just screamed you at it the other day.

[A]

Yeah, you did. I watched you do it. Whistles. It's like, hey, just. Just coming around real fast.

[B]

It just got to me.

[A]

I was like, you get back.

[B]

But I know you got a camera on you.

[A]

But private equity is a thing that has come in over the years and has destroyed companies. And oftentimes what they'll do is a thing called leverage buyout, which is where they actually borrow a bunch of money to buy the company.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they assign that debt, they assign that mortgage to the company they just bought to have to repay the bank that they just used it with. And then they just start, like, again, carving things up. So imagine with an amusement park, okay. Our biggest seller is the roller coaster. We're going to sell just the roller coaster off to a different group. This is the type of things that private equity does.

[B]

Basically, private equity are like house flippers.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But instead of millennial gray paint, they're replacing workers with iPads and then selling for 100% profit.

[A]

Yeah. And they're carving up the house and they're being like, maybe we can make the restroom a poop now, pay later.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're like, oh, how can we do this? How can we do that? Yeah. They're klarna ing your toilet.

[B]

But we have a running joke. Whenever something we love gets bought up by private equity, we're like, rip. Because it's over.

[A]

Yeah. You have. You have basically two years left before they. They say switch to the cheaper cheese.

[B]

Yeah, the cheese. See, we're thinking the same thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jersey Mike's.

[A]

Jersey Mike's.

[B]

Jersey Mike's recently got bought by private equity. We saw the news. We're like, oh, we got to go get our last hoagies.

[A]

Yeah. And you love Jersey Mike's because they.

[B]

Got the gluten free hoagies.

[A]

They had a gluten free hoagies and they cared. Like, when you came in, they're like, you like when you say, like, I like a gluten free hoagie. They, like, got out a rag, the.

[B]

Machine, they wiped the thing, change their gloves. They have a whole separate condiment area.

[A]

Yeah. They would put it on special treats.

[B]

The guy who invented the founder of Jersey Mike's, I think his kids have celiacs.

[A]

And that's usually how it works.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Usually. The best way for Mrs. P to find a place where she can eat Celiac safe is for someone in that family of rich people to have also had celiacs for them to realize how.

[B]

Annoying and terrible it is for them to be like, but what if she did have just a sandwich once in a while?

[A]

It is literally. Literally. It's. It's. It's when Republicans get a specific type of cancer, and then they suddenly want to fund research for that one thing.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Have you ever noticed that? You guys ever noticed that? Yeah. Y' all ever notice how whenever a Republican actually has to deal with the thing that millions of people have had to deal with, suddenly it's like when. With, like, women's health care.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Suddenly, like, women should have the right to choose because I'm rich in Georgia and I need the choice type of deal.

[B]

Well, listen, okay, I'm looking at the theme parks, and I find Busch Gardens.

[A]

Busch Gardens.

[B]

Pretty famous one, right?

[A]

I used to go there all the time.

[B]

Busch Gardens, Virginia.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's owned by a private equity company called Blackstone.

[A]

Blackstone?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a menacing name.

[B]

It's a menacing name.

[A]

Why are they always menacing?

[B]

They're very menacing. Guess what. Blackstone also owns SeaWorld, Orlando, Ohio, and San Diego.

[A]

Wait, stop. Okay. A company named Blackstone is taking orcas and putting them in Ohio.

[B]

I didn't know there was one in Ohio.

[A]

Why is there a sea world in Ohio?

[B]

Guys? I don't think orcas are supposed to be in Ohio, guys.

[A]

We could just have aquariums. You know, we could just have aquariums. Ohio has a great lake right there.

[B]

Yeah, don't put the orcas in it, though.

[A]

Don't put the orcas in the Great Lakes. It's not good for them. But on top of that, like, you could just do an aquarium.

[B]

Also, I found out that there's a sea world in Abu Dhabi. Shout out Normal. I was like, wait, what? But they own that one, too.

[A]

They own.

[B]

But also, I found out that Blackstone. This is the private. Basically, what happened is I find out that Busch Garden, Sea World are owned by Blackstone, and I'm like, who is Blackstone? And why do they also own Sesame Place?

[A]

What? They own Sesame Place. Okay, timeout, timeout. Because I want to just let you know. I thought Busch Gardens was owned by Busch Light, because isn't it. I think that was, like, the same company at one point.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

No, I don't. I don't know. It was.

[B]

It's always the same kind of spelling.

[A]

It's. It's next to the Colonial Williamsburg And I used to go to Busch Gardens as a kid with my middle school orchestra, and we would play music there, and then they let us ride the rides.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I used to go to Busch Gardens a lot.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. So there's Busch Gardens. The other one was Sea World.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I assume Sea World was owned by. I'm just going to say it. Fish perverts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then Sesame Place, I assumed was Disney because Disney owns the Muppets.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know how they got Sesame Place, but I don't like that private equity is in charge of Elmo and Cookie Monster live action suits.

[A]

I don't like the fact that they're in charge of the ones who are supposed to wipe down the little kid play areas.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I don't trust them to use the right rag because they're just gonna switch it to vinegar and it's gonna stay sticky.

[B]

Yeah. Here's what happened. The Sesame Place thing sent me on a journey.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because I was like, who are these people? Because we are Sesame Place family.

[A]

Yeah. And because there's. It's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's in the Pennsylvania. Like, this thing people don't realize is Sesame Places in Pennsylvania. It's between Philly and New York on purpose to be able to hit both markets.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we have a kid that is Sesame Place age. We haven't taken them there yet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But my.

[B]

I went there growing up.

[A]

Yeah. And I went there growing up, too. I had a little sister, and so when we. When she was old enough, I remember I was too old.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I got there.

[B]

This is lame.

[A]

I was like, this isn't like an amusement park. And she was like, this is kind of fun. And I just remember being. Even as a kid, this is like 1989. And I was like, a little sticky.

[B]

Little sticky.

[A]

Even I was like five years old. I was like, it's a little sticky.

[B]

So the. Basically, Sesame Place really motivated me to figure out who is Blackstone and why are they in charge of Sesame Place? And, like, can they be trusted? And what happened is I open a crazy can of worms.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From dogs to dates. These people might own everything. And I think we should take a break, and when we come back, I want to talk to you about how maybe they're collecting people's DNA and maybe definitely not for nefarious reasons. You compare prices when shopping for flights, hotels, cars. So why not small business insurance at Simply Business, we'll show you policies that fit your business and a range of prices to help you save who knew buying insurance could be so simple? Visit simplybusiness.com for your free quote today.

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[A]

Now, Mrs. P. Yeah. Blackstone is not Blackrock.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Blackstone did, at a certain point have investment in BlackRock. They had like bought some of it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But then they sold it and they. I guess it was the owners of Blackstone had said it was like one.

[A]

Of their greatest regrets was selling their BlackRock.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

I know.

[A]

That's wild that we have two evil companies, Blackstone and BlackRock.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That are basically Pepsi, Coke.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Of being evil private equity.

[B]

I feel like if I owned an evil private equity company, I wouldn't name it something that sounds so scary. I name it like puppies. Puppies and glitter. And then people like, oh, puppies and glitter couldn't possibly be bad.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, that's because you're going with like the congressional idea of how to name evil things. Right. Because, like, they always go. And they'll take a bunch of different stuff and they'll make, you know, an acronym.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is like the.

[B]

The Save Act.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, the Save Act. Exactly. Where they're like, this is actually the Save elections and we're this way. Right. And when you read into it, it's like this is a way for the federal government to choose who gets to vote.

[B]

Yeah. And it's not women.

[A]

Yeah. It's not women. Not at all. And it's. Yeah, it's fucking terrifying. But the other thing I was going to say with this is it's so wild that all these guys always name stuff so ominously evil. Because when you look with guys like Peter Thiel and other guys like the dude Lucky Palmer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They'll name stuff out of evil things from Lord of the Rings, like Palantir. The idea of Palantir, which is this. This company that's spying on everybody through the web. The Palantir in Lord of the Rings is an orb that would let you see across places that is corrupted by Sauron, that helps him control the leaders of all these nations. It's wild. It's like, did you. None of these guys understand subtext. Or maybe they understand it too much.

[B]

No, they read the book and they liked the villains. So anyway, have you ever heard of Ancestry.com?

[A]

Yeah, no, I've heard of Ancestry.

[B]

Ancestry.com is an American company based in Utah. This is going to come up a little a couple times. I. It kept bringing me back to Utah. Yeah, the Eye of Sauron is in Utah. It's looking, it's looking around from you.

[A]

That's where the tower is.

[B]

Yeah, it's in Utah. Salt Lake, for sure.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So it's a genealogy company.

[A]

Salt Lake does sound like something you would have to cross as a hobbit. Yeah, like, come on, Mr. Frodo, we must make it across the Salt Lake with the One Ring. We must get rid of the One Ring. Mr. Frodo, have faith. If you can't carry it, I'll carry you.

[B]

Potatoes. Potatoes. So Ancestry.com is the largest for profit genealogy company in the world. It operates a huge network, including historical record records and genetic websites as well. Now, Blackstone Incorporated acquired the company December 4th of 2020 and they valued it at $4.7 billion.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Now here's the thing they Ancestry.com has said it provided access to 30 billion historical records and has sold 18 million DNA kits to customers. Ancestry at one point was the largest provider of consumer DNA testing in the world.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

And they had a network of 25 million users that were like subscribers to the Ancestry.com website. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it's available in 128 countries. Okay, now here's the thing. I was like, I don't like. Tell me. In 1990, Paul Allen and Dan Taggart to Brigham Young University graduates, byu.

[A]

I just wanted to say. It's Brigham Young.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

You said Brigham Young.

[B]

Well, I just founded a company called Infobases. And so Infobases was a way to help members of the church research their ancestors. So when they originally founded this company, it was for this Mormon idea of we have to figure out who our ancestors are. Because. And I mean, they're not going to say this on the website, but they are such a small community in Utah that they have to watch out for inbreeding. Is that a nice way to say it?

[A]

There's a secondary reason.

[B]

Yeah. Wait, no, I know another reason. Yeah, I would. Do you want Me to tell you.

[A]

Oh, yeah, okay.

[B]

So the Mormon Church does this thing where they baptize people posthumously. Yeah, Humus.

[A]

Humously.

[B]

That's the word.

[A]

Yeah, posthumously.

[B]

There you go. Like they would go get death records and then they would use Ancestry.com to find the death records and then have a ceremony at their church where they would baptize people that have already passed away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that they can be Mormon and get into Mormon heaven.

[A]

Yes. Because Mormonism wasn't created or founded until what, like the 1840s or something like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so there was all these people who were concerned. Rightfully so. Well, how can any of my answer, you know, my. My beloved father, my grandfather died right before Joseph Smith found the plates, so he never got to hear the good word. Does that mean that he isn't in Mormon Heaven? Or whatever happens, the afterlife, they're like, oh, because if you go to, you look at like Christianity. Right. The Catholicism, they had to create purgatory for that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They literally created a place and they had to create a whole system.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's in Dante's Inferno, all this different stuff. They're like, oh, but what about like ancient peoples who before Jesus, they don't get to go into Christian heaven.

[B]

They're like babies who die before they're baptized.

[A]

Yeah. All those different things. They had to come up with all these special canonical rules.

[B]

I listen even in Catholic school. School, when they were explaining purgatory to me, I was like, it's a waiting room.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because you still get to go to heaven after the end time.

[A]

Yes. You have to sit there long enough.

[B]

Yeah. You just sit in the waiting room.

[A]

Yeah. You just sit in a room with old magazines. Yeah. Just old magazines and bad music.

[B]

Good Housekeeping goes hard.

[A]

Yeah. But it's just Judy on who's still playing Judge Judy. And it's only.

[B]

She's incredible. Only she's not a good person.

[A]

It's only doctor's offices. Yeah. It's the only place if you go to watch Judge Judy. Go to a doctor's office. There's all always some daytime show you've never seen on. Cuz for some reason your doctor's appointment is always at 11:25am yeah.

[B]

Because the older people took all the early ones cuz they wanted to snow traffic.

[A]

Yes, exactly. Anyway, what I was going to say though is the. They have this entire thing and it became very controversial in the Mormon Church.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they were going and baptizing people who died in the Holocaust.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And it became a very big Deal.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

That they were converting dead Holocaust victims. Specifically Jews.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To Mormonism when they were murdered.

[B]

Because they were Jews without consent.

[A]

Yes. And then you go through all of the other different people because, again, somebody converts and they're from a different culture or background. And now you're going and saying that this person is actually.

[B]

Yeah. They baptized Anne Frank.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. To be a Mormon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know who else got mad at them?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Speaking of the Catholics. The Catholics got real mad.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Because basically what they were doing is they were using the ancestry.com like documentation, and they were pulling. And they were reaching out to Catholic sources and pulling Catholic names, too. People would be like, oh, I converted to Mormonism, but my dad, who passed away 10 years, was Catholic. Can we baptize him? So he goes to Mormon heaven with me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then the Catholics found out, the Pope found out, the bishops, the cardinals, and they said, absolutely. Absolutely not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Internal memos. External memos. They sent notice to Utah, to Salt Lake. They said, don't you dare email us again.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We're not giving you a name.

[A]

It is wild to be this. It does feel very. It feels very Candace Owens being like, actually, my dead great, great grandfather could astral project, and therefore he's Mormon. Like, that's wild. It's a wild thing. And it is also one of those things where, again, we're also. We're talking about fairy tale stories. So, you know.

[B]

So in 2015, Ancestry.com launched Ancestry Health, which was like a subsection where Ancestry partnered with Google subsidiaries Calico to focus on longevity research and therapeutics in an effort to investigate human heredity. Heredity and lifespan.

[A]

Okay, so Ancestry.com, a company that's supposed to be looking backwards, was trying to figure out. Out how to make people live forever.

[B]

And they have a lot of DNA.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because everybody was sending them DMA to be like, how many guys? Look, I'm 11% Hispanic.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That's why I like that. Bonnie.

[B]

We're all 11% Hispanic after the Super Bowl.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Here's the thing. So then I'm like, what is Calico?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Calico's tech founder. I didn't write down his name. Which That's. That checks out for me. He is mentioned in the Epstein files, though.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

Stop it. Stop it.

[A]

No. Hey, we're not talking about the Epstein Files. Hey. Okay.

[B]

You're not allowed to spray my sweater.

[A]

I'm allowed to spray your sweater because you talked about the Epstein files, and we're not Talking about that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

The guy who invented Calico Tech was in there, though.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And anyway, it's not.

[A]

It's. It's literally not shocking. Was he a. Are you a tech CEO? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are you. Do you have any sort of thought process about DNA and. And making people live into a Methuselah. Methuselah society?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Well, then, here's your email.

[B]

Some guy named Jeff. I'm not going to say his last name. Wanted to invest in this Calico company in their oncology research, because in emails that I don't know anything about, he had said he wanted to live to be 500 so.

[A]

That he wanted to be an immortal pedophile.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He literally wanted to be like I. They say the same age, and I just keep never aging either.

[B]

So no more about the files.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It was just a. One thing. I just want to point out there, the ancestry.com who has a lot of people's DNA, supposedly, so that we can figure out who our uncles are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also invested in this really weird research. But anyway, no more about that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Let's talk about Spanx.

[A]

Spanx?

[B]

Yeah, the underpants.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. Do you know. Do you know what Spanx are?

[A]

You've mentioned them to me every now and then and then. Because your. Your algorithm has infected most of my algorithms. Every now and then, I get a woman in their late 30s through early 50s who literally went, thanks, Spanx. And they go, snap. Yeah, that's literally how I. And I'm like. I guess it. It's like kind of what. It's like a big, stretchy girdle, right?

[B]

Yeah, basically. That's really what it is. The thing is, is when I was looking at how. Oh, Blackstone owns Spanx.

[A]

Oh, there you go.

[B]

There it is. So I was like, oh, that's interesting. What's the backstory of Spanx? Because now, at this point, every time I open up a new company, I'm like, well, tell me about your backstory.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Spanx, honestly, is like an American dream story. It's a lady who decided she didn't like wearing pantyhose in the summer, which. Absolutely. It's the worst experience. I just talked about Catholic school. I went to a Catholic high school, and we were required to wear pantyhose every day for school. School as part of our school uniform. Gross. In the summer. Hated it. So Spanx would have been ideal. Anyway, she creates this. This idea of these, you know, the stretchy girdle. And she's shopping it around to all these different companies. Nobody wants it. She goes to Neiman Marcus, and she met with some buyers and Neiman Marcus, and when she went to the meeting, she was wearing white pants. I don't know if you ever worn white pants. You can't hide a secret in white pants. Things are showing through them. Okay.

[A]

Oh, got it. So white pants for ladies are like gray sweatpants for men.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Got it. Got a guy she went to, which famously, Ronald Reagan. No dick print and gray sweatpants.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Just want to throw that out there, because we're going to throw it up there, and then we're all going to have a little bit of giggle.

[B]

So I hate that picture. The she goes to this meeting, she's wearing these white pants, and she. During the meeting, she's like, I'm going to go change into my Spanx. And she puts on her Spanx under her white pants. Now, the buyers have already seen her when she first came in, and then they saw her with the Spanx on, and they immediately were like, absolutely, we'll buy it. They were like, oh, I see what we're doing here. We're tightening it up, babe.

[A]

Yeah. She literally was like, here's a before and after, and you can't tell.

[B]

So the Marcus team agrees to sell the product. Then, because it's an even Marcus, Oprah gets a pair. Oprah lists it as one of her favorite things in her famous favorite things episode.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Then a bunch of celebrities like Jesse, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner are on the red carpets, and they're telling Joan Rivers. I don't know if it was Joan Rivers, but they're telling the interviewers. They're like, who are you wearing? And they're like, oh, my God, I'm wearing this, but also I'm wearing Spanx.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So celebrities start talking about Jessica Alba.

[A]

Was in the Super Bowl.

[B]

I know. She was dancing.

[A]

We both went, no, you went, there's Cardi B. And I said, I think that's Honey Daniels. The choreographer.

[B]

Yeah, the choreographer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she ended up selling her company for $1.2 billion billion dollars.

[A]

The lady who. And then in Spanx.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She a billionaire.

[B]

She a billionaire.

[A]

See, that's a billionaire that, like, earned it. Yeah, she earned it. She worked it. She worked. She made stuff.

[B]

That's one thing I thought was interesting, too. During the negotiation process with Blackstone, she requested an all female investment team and an all female board of directors, and she still serves as executive chairman of the board. Oh, so she's still involved, but she was very Much like this is a for women by women situation, but owned.

[A]

By nefarious private equity company that's sitting in the background of everything.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

I'm just saying.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Just say.

[B]

They also own this company called PGP Glass, which wasn't, like, as cool as Spanx.

[A]

By they. By that, you mean black Blackstone. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I found out is that they make, like, every perfume bottle, glass pill bottle, and liquor bottle, basically the world. It's an exaggeration for sure. But, like, almost every glass container comes out of this place.

[A]

Really?

[B]

So, like, if you're drinking liquor, if you're taking supplements, or if you're spraying perfume or using a lotion that comes in a glass bottle, there's a chance it comes from this PGP company in India, which is owned by Blackstone.

[A]

Oh. Which means there's a chance that there. They might have ended up on my fyp, where I often get Indian men wearing sandals in industrial settings that are terrifying.

[B]

Those videos make me so nervous every.

[A]

Time I get the Rock Crusher one. Yeah, the rock Crusher guy. Where there's always a big stone gets caught on a chain, and I'm like, what? Why would that.

[B]

One of the ones where they're, like, the pink Himalayan salt, and they're, like, grinding the salt, and I'm like, you need to wear a mask. You're breathing that.

[A]

I also get the one where there's a thing where it's like a furnace.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's, like, shooting out this, like, ribbon, and they have to feed it. And I'm. The guy is just walking around in sandals and just, like, a shirt.

[B]

There's no ocean.

[A]

And I'm like, there's no ocean. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Get even the big suit.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm like.

[A]

Or at least heavy.

[B]

I don't want to watch this anymore.

[A]

I know. Every time it shows up. Every time it shows up, I panic.

[B]

They own Blackstone, owns a semiconductor company, an online payment company.

[A]

That's not great.

[B]

And of course, bumble, bumble. Yeah. When we come back, I want to talk to you about dating.

[A]

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[B]

It's everything to me.

[A]

Everything. Especially as toddler parents, because there's so.

[B]

Many times sometimes all you have is two minutes, and you don't think that two minutes is enough to get vegetables and a fresh protein.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank God for a factor, because sometimes you don't have more than two minutes. You throw that meal in there and you get fresh food that tastes like a chef prepared it.

[A]

It tastes so good every single time. And then, like, immediately after. The other thing I really like about Factor is that, like, I'm full without feeling stuffed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

We don't have to talk about dating. But I do think it's interesting that Blacks Stone owns Bumble.

[A]

Bumble is one of the apps, right?

[B]

Yeah, it's one of the apps. It's the one where the ladies get the pick.

[A]

Is that how. That's the gimmick?

[B]

That's the gimmick is the women get to pick.

[A]

They're all basically just Grindr, though, right? Is everything just a clone of. I don't. I met you.

[B]

I know. I never did.

[A]

The dj. I know. Well, you didn't have to. All right. You didn't have to go try. They weren't apps. They were just called online dating.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

When I tried them and it just kept serving me the same person basically. Basically over and over again. And I was like, this sucks.

[B]

And then we met in person.

[A]

We met in person at an open mic that I was hammered and hosting and you were being. I'll just see an audience member. Yeah, we'll call you that.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah. And then here we are, married, doing.

[B]

A podcast with a mortgage. Explain to you things about private equity companies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So Blackstone purchases a majority seat stake in, like, 2020. Ish of Bumble.

[A]

That is such an evil time to buy it. Yeah, that's such an. They literally were looking around like, so everyone's locked in their houses, scared and horny.

[B]

Yeah. I know what we'll do.

[A]

We'll buy Bumble.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because Bumble isn't part of the match group because match.com owns, like, Tinder and a bunch of other different things. And match.com was like a Christian group.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's, like, wild how all these different things work. And when you, like, start to do the math on it all, you're like, this sucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I really do. I want people to, like, if you are single, to just go outside and talk to people. I know. It's not how it works anymore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it feels like. I feel like when I talk about dating now to people, I feel like a boomer telling people how to get a job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you tried going into the store with your resume and that, telling them that you're looking for work?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're like, speak to the manager. And instead everyone's like, no. You walk, up you go, excuse me, sir, would you like to. Excuse me, I'd like to go on a date with you. All right, we'll put your resume on file. Thank you so much for reaching out to us.

[B]

We're going to. We're going to need the PDF of your resume, and then you're going to need to input it again.

[A]

Do you have a cover letter for getting some coochie?

[B]

Yeah. Oopsies. I love a couple of red flags in there. Come.

[A]

Yeah, we had the I scrub your. Like, literally. And that's the thing, too, is people are on these dating apps and they're falling for AI Romance scams.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And. And then the AI is scraping things. And then there's other people who are making AI to, like, trick people into dating them. And then there's clavicular.

[B]

But then they. I don't know who that is. Then I. Then they use the AI bot that they've created a romance game with to get bitcoins.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

They got to get cryptocurrency because they're like, oh, no, I'm going to come visit you. Just send me $1,000.

[A]

We're rug pulling love.

[B]

Yeah. So anyway, Blackstone, they buy it, the majority stake in it. Okay. And then Bumble announces layoffs of 350 employees, which was 30% of the workforce.

[A]

That's literally almost how this always happens. They literally come in the private equity company. Always. They always. First thing, they always spend a little too much. They always buy it for a little too much because they're like, we're going to move it private. Usually that means take it off to the stock market. But then the first thing they do is, like, we have to cut costs immediately. And they walk in and they just go, who's that guy over there? Oh, that's Larry. He's been with us for 15 years. One of the OGs? Yeah. Fire him. Okay. And who's that over there? What'd she do? Oh, she. She. She restocks the cafeteria. Now. Fire. Cut that. Get rid of that. That's all they do is they walk around. Oh, what's. What's. What's your company title? Trust and Safety. We don't need that.

[B]

No, definitely. Did you see that one video went viral where the lady got fired after she set up the breakfast buffet at the hotel? Do you know what I'm talking about?

[A]

I don't know what you're talking.

[B]

There was this video went viral. I don't know if I'll be able to find it, but this woman got fired at like 9am after, at her hotel job. She set up the whole breakfast buffet. Like the free continental.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she gets so mad that she got fired after already doing all the work, she goes into the buffet area and just starts dumping it. She's. The whole carafe of milk, orange juice, the egg. The scrambling eggs on the floor. She's like. And then all the people are scrambling like, what the fuck's going? And the managers like, no, st. Stop it, Tiffany. And she's like, you. And I'm like, honestly, do it more. Throw the muffins.

[A]

No, these people need to know, like, these. Like, management especially needs to understand that if you're going to make someone work. There's so many videos of contractors. Yeah, contractors.

[B]

I love those.

[A]

I love it when the. They're like three quarters of the way done a build or some, and then they're like, oh, they didn't get paid.

[B]

And they start ripping the tile down in the bathroom.

[A]

Oh, my favorite is when they walk around with a hammer and just smash every piece of glass. Yeah, they just wanted to bunk. Just bunk. Oh, okay. You don't have the money, and then.

[B]

You don't have the deck. They just take the whole.

[A]

They just remove the deck. Okay. You don't pay me, I take the deck back.

[B]

My deck.

[A]

It's my deck. You're not gonna trick me. And that's. This is what. Again, this is what a lot of these companies. Yeah. They always try.

[B]

This is what they call the restructuring.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

They buy it, they acquire, and then they restructure, which means fire a bunch of people.

[A]

Because again, when we talk about People who created actual companies. Usually their idea was to employ people in their local town and community that they knew. Oftentimes when we think about our classic companies, the mom and pop companies, the ones that are going to be 50, 60 employees, actual startups, the idea is, I'm going to start up this thing and I'm going to hire this person and I'm going to make them and I'm going to pay them and we're going to do these things and it's going to, you know, we're going to all grow together.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Private equity comes in, it goes. Yeah. The people are holding everything back we could make so we could listen, right now we're only making 15% profit. If we fire everyone right before their retirement, we can make a 16% profit.

[B]

That's right. 1% more.

[A]

And, you know, I can do with that. I can buy a yacht. And then you can not have to track that as I go down to this little island.

[B]

Make me get the water bottle. So that was in 2024. They announced the 350 employee layoffs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In June of 2025, Bumble announced layoffs of 240 other positions. And I bet you a cost cutting measure that is, that is assumed to save Bumble $40 million annually.

[A]

$40 million. That's how much it was. 250 people.

[B]

204. Yeah.

[A]

240 people is $40 million. And I'm guessing they're going to go ahead and replace them all with generative AI models, which is the reason why also, when you have an issue with stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't fucking reach anybody. And the thing is, what people need to understand is when private equity companies do this, those executives at the private equity company, they then go to the same country clubs that the board members of the companies you work for and they tell their buddies that this worked for them over there. And then they go test it out. And the public companies that you work for.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

This is how it spreads. These guys go and they test their evil thing over here and, oh, nobody can touch us. It's private. We own 100% of all of this. Fuck all these people. We can remove the human element.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then slowly, over time, this is how your cheese gets.

[B]

Is private equity a disease?

[A]

I would say it's a. It's a mind virus.

[B]

So Bumble. Right. That's not the only app, though, because I also found out that Blackstone owns Rover.

[A]

Which one's Rover?

[B]

That's the dog walking one.

[A]

Oh, it's like Bumble for dog walkers.

[B]

Bumble. For dog walkers and babysitters. Dog babysitters.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is one of those ones. This has always been one of those weird ones because it's. We know people who used it in the past who were using it because it's one of those things. It's like Lyft or Uber.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

This is the thing.

[B]

Economy.

[A]

This is the thing with the gig economy. But also, again, with all of these different things, with Rover especially, you're not an employee.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're a 1099.

[B]

You're a contract independent contractor.

[A]

Independent contractor. This is where so many people are running into. This with the gig economy was sold to us as a second job, but for so many people becomes the only thing they can do. And that's how they end up stuck in this loop. Yeah. That ends. It's going on and on forever. Meanwhile, with all of this stuff, mind you, do you trust the private equity company you're going putting in for Rover? Okay, well, people didn't know where your dog is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So now you're taking your name and you're taking your address, you're putting those two things together, handing it to a private equity company.

[B]

They already have your DNA.

[A]

Do you think they're not selling that information? Do you think that doesn't end up going into a different area that then gets breached later? Here's what's crazy. I don't even have a delete me ad this week. But this is just. Just to give people's minds about. This is like how your shit gets out there is because you think I'm using Rover, therefore it's in this group over here, when in reality, this private equity company also owns a data management service over here. So everything's being put in one hub, which is how that thing ends up getting broke. It's just.

[B]

Listen, let's say you work. You have a second gig as a dog walker for Rover.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Honestly, I would crush it at that. Just let me walk dogs all day. What a time. And so you're outside, you're walking some stranger, scruffy, weird dog who definitely needs its nails trimmed. And you maybe got your headphones in.

[A]

Click, click. Yep.

[B]

And you're listening to your favorite tunes.

[A]

You listen to your favorite tunes. You listen to B B Bony.

[B]

Those aren't your tunes. No, they're not, because Blackstone owns them as well.

[A]

Blackstone owns the tunes?

[B]

Blackstone owns almost all of your favorite music. When I looked at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They acquired a company called Hypnotic. I think that's how you pronounce it? Music Group. They changed the name to Recognition Music Group.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

And basically they own the rights and licensing to a lot of music.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

They own all of Timbaland's catalog, Timberland, which includes all six Missy Elliott albums. They own five Justin Timberlake albums. They own Chainsmokers albums. They own some Halsey. They own Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. They own Shape of youf by Ed Sheeran.

[A]

No, you're just describing weddings I went to.

[B]

In 2014, they acquired the entire catalog of Lindsey Buckingham and Fleetwood Mac.

[A]

No.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

No, no. They own the Mac.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Blackstone owns the Mac.

[B]

They own a 50% stake in the Neil Young catalog.

[A]

Neil.

[B]

They own all 145 of Shakira's songs.

[A]

Okay? I'll give that sign.

[B]

They own most of the catalog for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And most upsetting to me while I was doing this was that they own Desposito.

[A]

They own Despacito. They own Despacito. No. Okay, did we look up to see if they own Gasolina?

[B]

No, I didn't. I didn't find on said Gasolina on there.

[A]

Gasolina was not listed.

[B]

I wasn't listed.

[A]

Okay, good. They can have Desposito. We keep Gasolina. Okay? I'm not losing everything. What do you mean? Every time I go and I listen to Despacito, I'm funding a private equity firm to go buy another business and fire more people and replace them with fucking AI so they can go buy a goddamn yacht somewhere. This is where we are with Despacito. And on top of that, they own Fleetwood. The fact that they own Tusk by Fleetwood Mac is going to drive me fucking insane. Oh, it's owned by Blackstone.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

I. Listen, this is our most upsetting episode. I want you to know that. This is the most upsetting episode you've ever done.

[B]

It's fine. It's fine. Listen, let's. Let's clean it up. Let's clean it up. Let's clean up our minds because they.

[A]

How can I have Dreams by Fleetwood Mac is what I go to sleep to. They own my dreams, babe. That Blackstone owns my dreams.

[B]

They also own Serve Pro. No, the cleaning company. The remediation cleaning company. Yeah.

[A]

No, that was. That was the. One of the. One of the darkest periods of our life.

[B]

I'll hold my hand.

[A]

One of the darkest periods of our life was fixed by Surf by Surf Pro Professionals back in. What was that? That was 2015.

[B]

Yeah, it was 2015.

[A]

2015?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, 2016.

[B]

10 years ago.

[A]

10 years ago we bought a home in South Philadelphia.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we moved into a home. It was a, it was a flip. It was. A guy had bought it and it was a town home and he had gone inside. It was millennial gray and all that stuff. But it was nice.

[B]

It was a good location.

[A]

It was a good location.

[B]

Right by the subway.

[A]

Right by the subway. It was great. We, we enjoyed it. And two weeks we were living there. Two weeks we were living there. And the thing you need to understand is that we were really excited because this fridge had a built in ice machine. Oh.

[B]

We were looking at it and it.

[A]

Had built in water.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you can run a, you run a hose from the water line into the back of the fridge. And there's two ways, two ways that you can install that hose. One, is it a semi expensive, like I think it was $10 at the time. Might be $25 now. Metal hose. Yeah, that's that you coil up and you screw it on one side, you screw on the other side. The other way to do it is this 15% plastic hose. It's 15 cent plastic hose. Very thin, high pressure line. But you know what you want to do is you want to make sure that you use a little clamp on each.

[B]

Yeah, I have a clamp on each side.

[A]

Yeah. And those clamps are like 5 cents.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gotta put them on each side. But if you're cutting cost, you don't put that clamp on there.

[B]

Why you gotta save the five cents.

[A]

And then over time and overuse of that refrigerator that a man who is gleeful about.

[B]

We never had water in our door of our fridge before.

[A]

Yeah, we had never had it.

[B]

We were like, woo.

[A]

Every day. Oh, I'm making water. Oh, let me get a cup. Oh, look at me, I'm making water. Oh my God, look at me. I'm putting ice in it. It's going to be so great.

[B]

I don't have to fill a tray. Yeah, it's in the door.

[A]

And then one night you go to bed after watching Bob Ross. You watch a Bob Ross show on the Netflix.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you go, oh, what a perfect world. You kiss your dog on his forehead. You walk upstairs with your wife and you go to bed. And then you come down in the morning and you walk downstairs and you see a rainbow in your living room slash kitchen because the high pressure line has fallen off of the refrigerator and is spraying water directly into the refrigerator causing a mist arc. And so the Perfect lighting of the back window is shooting sunbeams directly through that mist arc, creating a rainbow. A DEI woke rainbow in our living room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which led Mrs. P. To come downstairs to find a hulking, naked husband screaming at the top of his lungs, yelling, oh, my God, all is ruined. As he's trying to rip the refrigerator out of the wall.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To shut off the water.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And that caused. It was about. Was about 3,000 gallons worth of water because it sprayed all night. All night, silently.

[B]

Dog didn't say anything.

[A]

Dog never barked once.

[B]

Dog could have told us.

[A]

Could have told us. Never did. Knock, knock, knock. It sprayed this water in an arc. And the water went right through the brand new wood floors. And it just tricked, just trickled through those wood floors right into the finished basement, destroying and rotting out all the drywall across the walls. Y warping the beautiful wood floors.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And sending us into a spiral of insurance calls.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And so many other different things.

[B]

Anyway, we had to call Serve Pro.

[A]

We did. We called Serve Pro.

[B]

They fixed it.

[A]

It. What's crazy about that is that Serve Pro and those guys that were helping us and our, you know, we used our insurance to pay for all of that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was actually, in the long run, giving that money to Blackstone so they could buy Bumble.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And again, this is. You guys see how this is, like, starting to work of, like, without this happening. This is that little part. This is another way that our lives have ended up paying for these people. Hey, guys. The world's a terrible place and it's stressful, and every single time you look at your phone, it's worse and terrible, which is why I take breaks with in the Cloud. In the Cloud is a fully legal online dispensary. You can check out their gummies, their vapes, their pre rolls, and their edibles. You skip the hangover and you unwind with in the Cloud's new zero sugar, zero calorie THC sodas, which I used last night, literally before this episode. Honest to God. It's crazy that we actually have them as a sponsor this week because I got into Cloud just to be able to process everything else has been going on. We've had a lot of stress. It's been a very crazy time. And I was like, I need a night. And so I went upstairs, got in the Cloud, and now I've been refreshed and ready to sit down. And I've learned so much about so many things on this week's episode. Right, Mrs. B.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I appreciate when you get into cloud as well, because you calm down.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You chill.

[A]

I do.

[B]

Relax.

[A]

I do.

[B]

And once a week or once every other week, you need to get into cloud.

[A]

Yeah. At least for me. For me, for you. You can find out exactly what you want with all of that. All into cloud products are federally legal thc. Everything sold is DEA certified, lab tested, and it's shipped discreetly. Unwind your way with in the cloud. If you're 21 or older, visit Into Cloud Co and use code tabs for 35% all month long. That's Into Cloud. Code tabs for 35% off ship discreetly to your door. Enjoy responsibly, and thanks to indecloud for sponsoring the show. Okay, so this one evil company has now bought huge chunks of our lives.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They own 18 million different people's DNA. Yeah. They are just doing all sorts of crazy stuff. What else?

[B]

They own Madame Tussauds. The wax place.

[A]

They own.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The wax figures.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

They own that.

[B]

Yeah. And that's a weird investment.

[A]

That's a bizarre one. I mean, it fits in the. If it fits in the amusement park division, because it is kind of like a mini amusement park when you go to one of those. You've been to Madame Tussauds. Yeah. Yeah. But it's weird to be like we have exact replicas of every celebrity and president. Like, that's weird.

[B]

And DNA.

[A]

And we have DNA online payment portals.

[B]

Look out. But also, they took the Madame Tussauds and they merged it to another company they had bought called Merlin Entertainment.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And Merlin Entertainment, which they own. Owns what? Legoland?

[A]

No, they own Legolands.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's fucking. Where can we go? Where do we go without accidentally. There's. There's literally no place on earth where you can go and not end up accidentally giving these people money.

[B]

Well, yeah, that's true, but they also go looking for stuff like their company called Cosmos Energy, which is an investigative oil company that goes and searches for oil offshore of Ghana, Senegal, Morocco, all kinds of places they. They get oil from.

[A]

They could. They imagine. I just want to the listeners and viewers out there, like, subscribe. Comment. Five stars. Okay. But beyond that, I want you to close your eyes and I want you to imagine a world where you owned Legoland.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

And you know, think about what you would do if you owned legoland.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How much joy you would feel in your heart. Would you also own an oil exploration company? Would a section of your time be taken up by that as well? This is Lunatic shit.

[B]

I know. Also, they had originally incorporated that Cosmos company in Bermuda. I don't. Why would you want to incorporate in Bermuda? I don't know, but then they decided, hey, we got to move our headquarters to America. Okay, so guess where they incorporated.

[A]

Where? Delaware, of course. Hey, you know what?

[B]

Shout out.

[A]

Yeah, Delaware. Delaware mentioned that's where all I care.

[B]

About paying taxes on the oil we're stealing from Namibia.

[A]

Yeah, Namibia. I. Yeah, Delaware is a. There's a specific building in Delaware that is like a third of the world's companies.

[B]

Yeah, you went.

[A]

Because of their crazy taxes and everything. Yeah. They're moving them around, though.

[B]

Listen, we need to relax.

[A]

Relax.

[B]

Maybe we just need to chill out, lay on a nice comfy cozy bed.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

At La Quinta Hotels.

[A]

La Quinta?

[B]

Yep. They own those.

[A]

They own La Quinta Hotels. Ah, we can't even say La Quinta.

[B]

But honestly, I love them, but I want. I don't want just like the quick continental breakfast. I want a full sit down breakfast.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is why I think we should go to a Hilton.

[A]

Why would we go to a Hilton?

[B]

Because they own all the Hiltons.

[A]

Blackstone owns the hiltons.

[B]

In a 26 billion dollar deal with a B, Blackstone purchased Hilton Hotels Corporation, and Blackstone is actually the world's largest hotel owner.

[A]

Blackstone owns all of the Hilton.

[B]

All of them, and all of the little subsidiaries.

[A]

Yeah. Because that's the thing people don't understand too, is like when you go look like. If you look at like Marriott Bonvoy.

[B]

We love saying Marriott Marriott Bond, but.

[A]

We also love just saying Marriott Bonvoy.

[B]

It feels nice to say.

[A]

It does. But when you look at all of these different. They have like these corporate structures. So when you go to these different places, you don't realize.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That all these other names are actually Marriott Bonvoy or Hilton or any of these different things. Hilton, for the most part has kept. A lot of their hotels are Hilton branded.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they have all these tiny.

[B]

They also apparently let ICE rent rooms there.

[A]

Yes. It was a big deal in Minnesota in particular. And I think I know what happened there, which is basically a manager, an assistant manager who actually has. They had access to be able to, you know, just cancel a huge. A huge amount of reservations. So it was ICE when people are like, yo, that cancel. And then they sent a thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I Then Hilton corporate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With the Blackstone board was like, no, don't make the government mad. Yeah.

[B]

No. So then the. The corporate reached out to that small company because they're kind of. It's like a pseudo franchise situation where you're, you're franchising, you own a building.

[A]

And then you come in there and Hilton comes in and. And you say I'm part of the Hilton. Basically part of the Hilton reservation group.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is what it comes down to. We have to keep certain Hilton standards.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And that's how that kind of works.

[B]

So that, that hotel in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Right. They got yelled at and then they got their Hilton stuff removed by Hilton corporate.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which then made people even angrier.

[A]

Yes. Because it was like. People were like. There was a minute. I remember there was like an. There was like an hour there. People were like, fuck yeah. Hilton. Way to be on the right side of history. And it's like no babes.

[B]

Yeah. And then I was like him.

[A]

Yeah. Because again. And one of the things reasons why Marriott Bonvoy. You need to assume anything owned by a massive private equity company will defer to the government.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because the government could and should break these companies up.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They won't. But they should because they can use Citizen United to go pay a bunch of super PACs to make sure the right people will stay in power. That will let them continue to grow their massive oligarchical wealth so they can then go buy more yachts and go down to an island.

[B]

Bumming me out. Okay, I'm sorry, let's take a break.

[A]

You know what? Hold on, hold on. All right, you're right. No, you're right on that one.

[B]

Let's take a little break and we come back. I got a little treat for you.

[A]

You have a little treat for me? My perfect day has sand, salt water and friends. But my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis can take me out of the moment. Now I'm all in with clearer skin thanks to Skyrizi. Risankizumab. A prescription only 150mg injection for adults who are candidates for systemic or phototherapy. With Skyrizi. Most people saw 90% clearer skin and many were even 100% plaque free. At 4 months. Skyrizi is just 4 doses a year. After 2 starter doses.

[B]

Don't use if allergic to Skyrizi. Serious allergic reactions increased infections or lower ability to fight them may occur before treatment. Get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor about any further flu like symptoms or vaccines.

[A]

Thanks to Skyrizi, there's nothing on my skin and that means everything.

[B]

Nothing is everything.

[A]

Ask your doctor about skyrizi. The number one dermatologist prescribed biologic in psoriasis visit skyrizi.com or call 1-866-skyrizi to learn more. Dreaming of buying your first car or new home? Knowing your FICO score is the first step to making it real. With Myfico, you can check your score for free, and it won't hurt your cred. You'll get your FICO score, full credit reports, and real time alerts all in one simple app. Your credit score is more than just numbers. It's the key to building the future you've been working toward. Visit myfico.com free or download the MyFico app and take the mystery out of your Fico score. So you've handed me a glass of milk.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And you know what's crazy? Actually, I found out recently. Yeah, but Ball the Mason Jar company, they also make weapons.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

Yeah, they're a government contractor. It's just one of those weird things you find out. Like, any of these companies, once they get to a certain size, they immediately were just like, well, then we can just go.

[B]

We just buy some guns. We can make guns.

[A]

We can sell guns.

[B]

So Blackstone doesn't own Crumble Cookie yet.

[A]

Crumble Cookies.

[B]

They recently infused the Crumble brand with. With a $500 million loan. And so I thought I would get you some crumble Cookies so you could test them and tell me whether or not you think this was a good investment.

[A]

Oh, so that's why you gave me the milk? Because I have milk and crumble, so I've never had crumble cookies.

[B]

Me neither.

[A]

And this is not. Just so you guys know, this is not a paid spot. I want to be very clear about this.

[B]

No.

[A]

If you went out with your own money.

[B]

With my cash and $12.

[A]

$12 for how many? $12 for three cookies.

[B]

They're the mini ones.

[A]

These are the minis.

[B]

That's the mini.

[A]

These are this. Okay. I want to let you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can go to the grocery store.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And for $12, you get a big thing of cookies.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. Or you could join our Patreon. And on our Patreon, I have a food idiot episode where I talk about the best chocolate chip cookie recipe.

[A]

That's true. And how you go through it. All the different, like, extra steps to do to make extra gooey.

[B]

Yeah. And delicious chocolate cookies. Now, so Crumble Cookie is famous for their chocolate chip cookie specifically.

[A]

And that's this one right here.

[B]

Yeah. So I need you to taste it and tell me if it's good.

[A]

Okay, so here's the thing. About crumble cookie. I've never had these. There's another one that's like a midnight cookie place.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's different.

[A]

Yeah, I know that one. I never had that one either.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I just remember like seeing them, cuz they were like pop. They would always pop up around bars.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, this feels weird. I've never gotten hammered. I've been like, I want a big cookie.

[B]

You didn't.

[A]

No, because here's the thing. If I got. If I get really hammered.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I want like. I need something to soak stuff up.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Cookies aren't gonna do that for me.

[B]

Are you sure? Taste that one.

[A]

Let me say. Okay.

[B]

What do you think so far?

[A]

There's a lot of dead air of me chewing on the cookie.

[B]

Move away from the mic.

[A]

It is. Huh?

[B]

I said you gotta move away from the mic. This is an asmr. Sir.

[A]

You got. You gotta talk.

[B]

Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

[A]

Because here's what just happened.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You gave me a very chewy.

[B]

Is it cakey? It looks cakey.

[A]

I guess. Kind of. It feels. It tastes to me like an enemy's.

[B]

An enemy's. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Which is a Philly thing. Which are like softer cookies. They sell them at Wawa, which like again you get in a box.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For I can get a lot of enermans for the price of these three cookies.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

And this is like. That's to me is like insane. I think they're. They're great. I don't think this is a $4 cookie. But here's what happened though. You gave me this and I took a sip of milk and now my sinuses are full and I can't breathe instantly. You dried out my sinuses.

[B]

You want to do a Pearl Mania collab cookie collab. Because Crumble does cookie collabs. They do collabs. Kardashian collabs. A Jonas Brother collab. The Jonas one was a caramel popcorn cookie. The Kardashian cookies. Hold on. I had to look them up because Kim did a snickerdoodle. Chloe did a cookies and cream, which is what that one is. Cookies and cream thing.

[A]

This is cookies and cream. Yeah. Cake.

[B]

Yeah, the cookies.

[A]

That's just hard. Oh, I see the cookie on the top.

[B]

It's a cookies and cream.

[A]

This is just cake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't like things this sweet. I don't like this much frosting. Yeah, this is straight up just frosting on. Basically a brownie cookie. That's what this is. Again, we have a box of ore because our kid loves Oreos.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I got like little packs of Oreos downstairs. I could eat Oreos all day. This is stupid. And my teeth hurt now.

[B]

Yeah, your teeth. All right, well, the thing is. Hold on, I want to finish going over the Kardashian ones real quick. Kylie did a pink confetti sugar cookie. Kendall, this was a choice. Did a cookie dough cupcake Cookie baby, you don't need to add cookie dough to a cookie. It's a cookie.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

Chris did a yellow layer cake. I'm like, that's just cake. And then Courtney, the worst of the Kardashians, did a gluten free flourless chocolate cake and apparently it was the most disgusting thing ever. Yeah, I wouldn't know. I didn't try it because I was like, I'm not getting Courtney Kardashian.

[A]

But you know, worst Courtney, because also you wouldn't trust at all.

[B]

No.

[A]

You would not trust crumble cookie to even have an actual gluten free cookie because of the cross contamination. Yeah, that just is going to happen in there. I don't. Do they make these on site?

[B]

I think so. Yeah. I think so. Here's the thing. Crumble cookie was invented by two guys who went where BYU together because they're from Utah.

[A]

Yeah. This does. Can I tell you with the pink box and everything. This does have an MLM feel to it.

[B]

It does. It's got Utah energy.

[A]

Hold on, there's one last one.

[B]

That's the snickerdoodle.

[A]

This is the snickerdoodle. Is it? What's that dust on there?

[B]

This is a little cinnamon. I think the, the reason they're so sweet. Now, I did some research about crumble cookies because I've never had one before. They don't really. They're not my vibe. But the reason they're so sweet and like maybe make your teeth hurt is because in Mormon culture you're not allowed to have coffee or caffeine or green tea. Right. And you're not allowed to have a lot of things. So what a lot of Mormons do is they any type of like, like, oh, let's celebrate. They go for sugar. Sugar is the default thing.

[A]

They're getting sugar high.

[B]

Like they get sugar high.

[A]

Like nine year olds.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

They're going nine year old crazy.

[B]

So they go super sweet with things. That's why these are so popular in Utah is because it's like sweet treats are their thing. They love diet soda with sweet creamer. It's called a dirty soda.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then they.

[A]

I've had this product so many times now. I just. Just let me just tell you real fast.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

They're fine. Yeah, they're fine. They're not worth $4.

[B]

Not.

[A]

I could get better cookies. It's insane. $4 each for three cookies. Yeah, I am. The cookies and cream one is God awful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is crazy because I love a cookies and cream Hershey bar.

[B]

Yeah. But that is. Nope.

[A]

That is not.

[B]

Can I tell you, I went into the store, I'd never been in a crumble before. I go in and there's two people like behind the counter. And then they have like all of the different cookie selections out. Like how to look at them and see which ones you want. Right. And I'm staying there and it's like, order. It says order here above me. And then over here says pickup. And I said, okay. So I'm standing there and then this young woman looks at me and goes, can I help you? And I was like, yeah, I would like to order some cookies. And she goes, the iPads. And I was like, huh? And I looked to my left and there's like four iPads. So I had to go over to the iPads. Like I'm at honey groan. Be boo bop. Pick the cookies. Pay with my card.

[A]

Did it have tip on there too?

[B]

It did. That's zero percent, babe. I'm sorry.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

Not tipping you if you've done. Okay, listen, I don't want to get in the tip argument about certain places.

[A]

I. Here's the thing. It's like if you go above and beyond.

[B]

Sure. But I'm not automatically putting grout on stuff.

[A]

It's wild how there's the tip on everything. I went to a place. Can I tell you, when I went down to Baltimore, I went to aw show in Baltimore years ago and they had a self serve area. Yeah. And the machine had tip on it. And I'm like, I did everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who am I tipping?

[B]

You told me to go put my order in. That's me doing a job.

[A]

But then again, I'm sure their argument would be like, oh, we're gonna tip the people who are putting the chicken fingers in the basket. I'm like, that's a back of house job.

[B]

That's a salary.

[A]

Tip is for front of house. What are we talking about?

[B]

I don't understand. You don't? Yeah.

[A]

This is. It drove me insane.

[B]

Anyway, I hit the buttons, I paid, and then I went over to the pickup area. And they brought me my little box of three miniature cookies dollars. And I said to myself, that situation feels. Feels very private equity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The human element telling me, no go order on the iPad.

[A]

Yeah. It's. Yeah. Getting all that. Yeah. That's another thing private equity is very good at, is truly. Is making this as antiseptic as possible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Therefore we can repeat it everywhere.

[B]

Exactly. But also interesting Crumble cookie franchise. So I'm wondering if that's why they didn't outright buy it and instead infused it in their language with months. Because each franchise is owned by a franchisee.

[A]

I feel like these have. Are already overstretched. But that's just.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I think so too. I think that they really made a bad investment on this.

[A]

I think. I think it was a. I think crumble cookie in general has been a thing I've been hearing about for a few years now. Actually. What's funny is I only heard about crumble cookie because I think the CEO was outed.

[B]

Oh, maybe.

[A]

Yeah, the CEO was outed by Twink and a Redhead.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

Yeah. Do you know those guys?

[B]

No.

[A]

Twink and a redhead. No, I met them, okay. The dnc, because they have a song called I'm a Twink, I'm a Redhead. And I was like, oh, my God. I met them at the DNC in 2024. And I was like, we should do a video together because, you know, twink Redhead. It's funny. And they're like. And then like, I guess the guy pointed out the twink from Twinking.

[B]

A redhead.

[A]

Yeah, he pointed out. And CEO companies, like, that's clearly a gay man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then eventually the CEO, I think he did come out.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

And then it was like a whole thing. And everyone's like, come on, come on. But then once you told me Mormon, I was like, oh, it makes sense.

[B]

Well, that makes sense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[A]

But just, you know, this is room temperature milk.

[B]

Well, I apologize. We've been recording a podcast episode.

[A]

I know, it's just insane. I've been sitting here drinking. These are. These are too sugary. Yeah. This is room temperature milk.

[B]

You know, is. A lot of times with crumble cookie, people will be like, they. They let people vote or, like, give suggestions on what the next flavors are going to be because they release new flavors all the time. And I guess they've gotten like thousands and thousands and thousands of requests and suggestions of people being like, make a coffee flavored cookie. Make a coffee flavored cookie. And the owners are like, we're never doing It.

[A]

Because they're Mormon.

[B]

Because they're like, it's against the rules. But I'm like, you can do coffee flavor without caffeine. No, but the rules aren't that it's caffeine. The rules are hot beverages. And then I'm like, so then you can have iced coffee. And they're like, no, but I'm like, but you can have hot coffee or iced coffee. But you can have hot cocoa. This doesn't make sense. The doctrine is Looney Tunes to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I know a lot about saints, and so I have no place to judge.

[A]

Yeah. This is. It's. It's wild. I. My respect for. For Mormons, like, vacillates every week because, again, there's so many Mormons are so deep in. In, like, Las Vegas and also in, like, all these different federal agencies and all these different things. And so I'm always like, there's something in there. And I know they were also heavily persecuted, and there's actually been a big movement in. There's some parts of the Mormon community are actually starting to understand trans people a little bit better because they look at their own story of how Mormons are persecuted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And blame for so many different things in all of these different Midwestern states, which. Which is what chased them eventually to Salt Lake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That when they look at the. How trans people are currently being demonized, they're like, oh, that sounds to the story of Mormonism right there. And that's kind of like, fucked up. And like, we should maybe. You know, I'm not saying that the upper echelons. I'm saying the actual, like, you know, regular lay Mormon people. I've heard some stories of them being like, no, what they're doing to trans people is weird.

[B]

Oh, wow, that's interesting.

[A]

But then you tell me shit like this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, ah.

[B]

So also. Okay, so last night when I was finishing and going through editing in this episode, literally last night when I was doing the last edits of this episode, Blackstone Incorporated made an announcement online that they were increasing their investment in artificial intelligence through the firm Anthropic, elevating their stakes to roughly $1 billion. And that is the people that do the clawed AI model.

[A]

Yeah. Anthropic, which in the last, like, two days.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Has also had, like, a bunch of crazy stuff come out. There was somebody in the Anthropic team who just resigned, and they publicly, like, released a letter that was like, yeah. So everything is about to get worse. I'm moving Back to England, and I'm going to write poetry and stay off the grid for a while. And everyone's like, what the fuck does that mean? And then they said the recent version of one of the anthropic models apparently knew it was being tested. And so it reacted differently when it was in test mode versus when it was free. And there's areas of its code they can no longer find.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Because it's seemingly hiding its own code.

[B]

Terminator.

[A]

I'm just saying. And all I.

[B]

Stop building the Terminator.

[A]

I'm just saying is we are building Pedophile Ultron. That is how this is all happening. Okay? Because there is no way. How big are the files? Right. It's millions and millions of documents.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Most of which are writing. And we're training large language models on literally anything they can get their hands on. Much of which are stolen files.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Much of it is. This is stolen data. Which is crazy, because you look at anthropic, you look at open air, you look at all these different mega corporations who have stolen literally terabytes. Zillions of terabytes of data.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you look at somebody like this. There was this guy named Aaron Schwartz who just wanted to make some very specific data publicly available. This is back in, like, the 2000 and tens.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And they tried to put him in jail, like, forever. They ruined his life until the point where he offed himself.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And when you flip it and go years later, we're now giving these people, like, $50 billion. They hang out at the White House all the time. They're tied in with every level of government, or they're Elon Musk and they're just too busy undressing children through Grok.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. But listen, it's not all bad.

[A]

It's what?

[B]

It's not all bad.

[A]

It's not all bad.

[B]

When I looked at Blackstone, my last thing that I want to tell you. Okay, is that Blackstone is who bought Jersey Mike's.

[A]

Oh, you know what? This is the Jersey Mike's. You had a good run, buddy.

[B]

We loved you, bud.

[A]

We did. Jersey Mike's was the first sandwich you got after your pregnancy.

[B]

That's true. They sent a gift card, too, because we talked about it, so.

[A]

We talked about it so much that they sent us a gift card. That was before they got bought by private equity.

[B]

We'll miss you, Jersey Mike's.

[A]

We'll miss you so much. It sucks. It sucks because I just. Here's what's gonna happen. The first thing that's gonna go. Is the bread. Yeah, that instantly I can immediately see them cheaping out on the bread.

[B]

Yeah, there's usually four people that work there too.

[A]

So, yeah, that's going to drop lines.

[B]

Going to go around the block.

[A]

Yeah, that's our drop.

[B]

Or they're going to put the iPads up so that the big self order. So you don't even ask the person anymore.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's how we're going to get rid of a.

[A]

Miss talking to people behind a counter. Yeah, I miss talking to people behind the counter. I mean, one of the big things they want to do with places like Chipotle is this is why they push people towards the app. Yeah, they want. It's crazy to me looking at how many of these companies, especially through 2020 through 2022, they realize they're like, oh, my God, if we were just drive through.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If we were just Grubhub. If we were just Uber eats. Think of the thing my dad was telling me the other day. They have. They opened a laundry kitchen near us.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

It's basically a corporate ghost kitchen.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So it's a place where if you go on an app, right. You go to what's the one ever we don't use Doordash.

[B]

Doordash.

[A]

So you go on Doordash and you're like, oh, you know what? I want Chinese food. And then you would see some food food TV personality has. They have a Chinese place near you. And you.

[B]

Guy Fieri's Chinese food.

[A]

Sure, guys, Chinese. Great. That's what you see pop up on the app. You go, oh, this is great. Oh, and it's near me. This is awesome. And you go and you order it. It's coming from a ghost kitchen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And those ghost kitchens are now being corporately owned. So when you go look online and you're like, I want Chinese food near me. It's going to show that address. And when you pull up, it's literally just a warehouse.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Because inside of it they have 18 different chains.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Corporate chains now. That are housed inside of one building. And all they're doing is microwaving stuff and doing boil bags.

[B]

Just Cisco.

[A]

It's just Cisco boil bag.

[B]

Cisco, baby.

[A]

And it's all boil bags. And so they're just taking stuff that's been, you know, flash, flash frozen after being flash fried and just dropping it and then they're throwing it inside some Styrofoam. They're handing it to somebody who is a gig slave who then hopping in their car that they probably have financed or that they're renting. Because I don't know if you guys know this Lyft and Uber offers to hook. You hook up their drivers with rentals. Because you have to have a car of a certain age range. Because your car can't be too old. Yeah. To be able to use those things. Yeah. Or it's being just tossed into a Waymo that's then being driven to your house, which is also probably owned by private equity. Yep. So then you can eat your big bowl of AI Slop. Because they're mostly slop bowls now.

[B]

While you listen to your music.

[A]

While you listen to your music. Max playing that is probably slowly turning into A.I.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because again, BlackRock owns BlackRock now.

[B]

Blackstone.

[A]

Sorry. Blackstone. BlackRock probably does, too. But Blackstone particularly owns the music, which means they can then turn it around and let those models be trained on it.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Because they own the library.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

You know, I saw Britney Spears just sold her library. Do we know who that sold to?

[B]

No, I did not. Poor Brittany. Poor Brittany.

[A]

Poor Brit name.

[B]

But listen, that's. That's. I literally. That's everything I learned in one week of reading up on Blackstone.

[A]

That's a lot.

[B]

It's a lot. I didn't cover all the companies they own now. This is just the ones I felt would be fun conversationally.

[A]

Yeah. Because this is. We're still talking about. That's like a trillion dollar company.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's huge.

[B]

It's huge. And that's only one of the big ones.

[A]

Mrs. Mrs. P and I are both in incredible mental health, and we regularly talk to mental health professionals to make sure that we would never do anything stupid or crazy. I just want to throw that out there. Okay. Just want to put that little addendum, note, asterisks at the end of this episode.

[B]

What do you mean this is all publicly available information?

[A]

Oh, yeah, it is.

[B]

I didn't discover anything new.

[A]

No, I know. I know you didn't discover anything new. But we did put it together in a nice little package for people to be able to understand and process it, which is where the danger is. So please make sure you support us over at [e-mail] we're gonna need bail money. Or bail money. Or just check out any of our lovely sponsors. Thank you guys so much. We'll see you next week, same time, same channel, every Sunday at noon. Make sure you check your subscription tab first. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real, Too many cons and too many spammers, and we're starting to feel like we've got too many, too many times. Open it too many times. Remember to smile. It's so weird. This app shows that my credit score is pretty good, but I couldn't get the car loan.

[B]

Are you using myfico.com?

[A]

No, it's some other company.

[B]

Oh, you should get a MyFICO account instead. FICO scores are the ones used by 90% of lenders, and other credit scores can vary up to 100 points.

[A]

That would have been helpful yesterday. Get the scores lenders use. Get the right FICO credit score for your credit goal, including your FICO scores used for mortgages, auto loans and credit cards. Visit myfico.com or download the MyFico app to get started today with VRBoCare. Help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind.