The Jesus INCC Influencer in the White House - Paula White | Too Many Tabs 3.08

Summary

Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500: Episode Summary Episode: The Jesus INCC Influencer in the White House - Paula White | Too Many Tabs 3.08
Release Date: February 16, 2025
Hosts: Alex and Mrs. P (Pearlmania500)

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Introduction

In this episode of Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500, hosts Alex and Mrs. P delve into the intricate and controversial figure of Paula White. The duo unpacks her rise within the religious and political spheres, her association with Donald Trump, and the broader implications of her influence in the White House. The conversation is a blend of in-depth research, critical analysis, and the hosts' characteristic humor.

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Paula White: Who Is She?

Mrs. P initiates the discussion by providing a comprehensive background on Paula White. Born on April 20, 1966, in Tupelo, Mississippi, White endured a tumultuous childhood marked by her father's suicide and her mother's alcoholism. Her conversion to Christianity in Maryland in 1984 set the stage for her future endeavors.

Notable Quote:
"I need you to not punch the horse cop." — Mrs. P [03:18]

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Independent Network Charismatic Christianity (INCC)

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Independent Network Charismatic Christianity (INCC), an abbreviation for Incorporated. White is a prominent figure within this movement, which diverges from traditional church structures by emphasizing individual salvation over congregational adherence.

Key Points:

• INCC relies on networks of charismatic apostles rather than hierarchical church systems.
• Utilizes social media to disseminate teachings and build a nationwide (and potentially global) following.
• Encourages supernatural gifts such as healing, prophecy, and speaking in tongues.

Notable Quotes:
"Independent network Christianity is not a denomination, but rather a network of independent church leaders." — Mrs. P [13:33]

"We are our own Calvary." — Alex [06:27]

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Paula White’s Connection with Donald Trump

The hosts explore White's influential relationship with former President Donald Trump. Their association began in 2002 when Trump reached out to her after watching her television show. White became his personal pastor and played a pivotal role in his religious conversion.

Key Points:

• White was instrumental in Trump's decision to recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital in 2017.
• She served on Trump's Evangelical advisory board during his presidential campaign.
• White delivered a prayer at Trump's inauguration and continued to support his reelection efforts.

Notable Quotes:
"Donald Trump contacted Paula White by telephone in 2002 after watching her show on TV." — Mrs. P [44:37]
"She was the opener at Trump's pro-Trump rally preceding the Capitol attack." — Alex [59:07]

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Financial Controversies and Senate Investigation

The episode does not shy away from critiquing White’s financial dealings. Senator Chuck Grassley led an investigation into her church's finances, uncovering questionable expenditures, including payments for a waterfront mansion, salaries to family members, and maintenance of a private jet.

Key Points:

• White and her church reportedly misused tax-exempt ministry funds.
• Despite the Senate's findings in 2011, no legal actions were taken against her.
• The hosts speculate on political motivations behind the lack of repercussions.

Notable Quotes:
"Chuck Grassley started a committee to do oversight about certain churches, and hers was in there." — Mrs. P [42:14]
"It was crooked accounting; it was not spiritual warfare." — Alex [42:45]

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Impact and Influence on American Politics and Religion

White's influence extends beyond her church, affecting political discourse and policies. Her role in Trump's administration symbolizes the intertwining of evangelical Christianity with political power, promoting a vision that seeks societal transformation through religious leadership.

Key Points:

• INCC's emphasis on transforming society aligns with dominionist ideologies.
• White’s media presence amplifies her political influence, bridging religious fervor with political rallying.
• Establishment of the White House Faith Office in 2025 under her directorship signifies institutional endorsement.

Notable Quotes:
"We are declaring ourselves the church. It's time to stop believing." — Alex [66:05]
"Don't just stop listening because I said we were going to talk about that." — Mrs. P [44:12]

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Criticisms and Controversial Stances

Throughout the episode, Alex and Mrs. P criticize Paula White's stances on various issues, including immigration, her interpretations of biblical events, and her financial ethics. They highlight her support for Trump's immigration policies and her dismissal of concerns regarding immigrant children’s detention conditions.

Key Points:

• White downplayed the inhumane conditions of detention facilities, claiming improvements.
• She urged her followers to financially support her ministries with promises of divine rewards.
• Her rhetoric often intertwines religious doctrine with political agendas, fostering a potent mix of faith and influence.

Notable Quotes:
"She's the worst person." — Alex [56:03]
"If you're Christian, you're fine," — Alex [21:21]

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Conclusion

Alex and Mrs. P wrap up the episode by reflecting on the pervasive influence of figures like Paula White in shaping both religious and political landscapes. They emphasize the need for listeners to remain vigilant against deceptive practices and to critically evaluate the sources of their beliefs and influences.

Notable Quotes:
"Stop believing, y'all." — Alex [71:25]
"Too many frauds and too many scammers. Remember to smile." — Alex [71:55]

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Closing Remarks

The episode serves as a critical examination of Paula White’s role as a religious influencer within the White House, shedding light on the complexities and controversies surrounding her influence. Alex and Mrs. P encourage their audience to stay informed and cautious of the intertwining of faith and politics.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements and non-content sections to focus solely on the substantive discussions about Paula White and her influence.

Transcript

[Alex]

This episode is gonna be about Paula White. Where's she come from? What's she doing? Where's she going? And that, my friends, is an intro to this show, which is called Too Many Tabs. Too Many Tabs is a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit across from each other at a desk. And why are they at this desk? Is it to entertain the masses? Yes, but more importantly, it's to explain a topic to each other that they've been researching off and on throughout the week while living their busy lives. And this week, Mrs. P has done her research on a person named Paula White. I know what you're thinking. Don't you mean Paul White, like the big show from wwe? No, Paula White. And yes, she is going to be important to you in the near future. And yes, you're going to hear her name a lot more. And yes, yes, this. This episode's going to take some turns, because when you open too many tabs, you know what you find? You find a lot of truth, but more importantly, a lot of giggles. Too many frauds and too many scammers.

[Mrs. P]

That we wish weren't real.

[Alex]

Too many cons and too many spammers. And we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs.

[Mrs. P]

Open it.

[Alex]

Too many tabs. Remember to smile.

[Mrs. P]

For everybody listening, I again have to ask. Just go look at the opening of the YouTube video so you can see the dance moves.

[Alex]

Don't tell them. Don't tell them. They only have to watch the first 90 seconds.

[Mrs. P]

Well, I'm just saying, if you make a trip over to YouTube just to see the dance moves.

[Alex]

I tried a kangaroo punch in that one. Yeah, there's a little bit of a kangaroo punch in that one. Mrs. P. Let's go ahead and start where we need to start. Most importantly for this week, for our listeners who are not members of the Patreon. Oh, they won't know that we are still celebrating. We're not gonna stop that. The Philadelphia Eagles.

[Mrs. P]

Go Birds.

[Alex]

Are now the NFL champions of the world.

[Mrs. P]

Can't tell me nothing. Can't tell me nothing.

[Alex]

We. We will never be stopped. On how much we want to scream.

[Mrs. P]

You should see the way that people smile at each other on the street. It's not that much.

[Alex]

It's not.

[Mrs. P]

We don't like smiling at each other.

[Alex]

It's not that much.

[Mrs. P]

But it's like a little. It's a little like.

[Alex]

But people are holding the door at Wawa a little bit longer.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And we get into all of this. Plus Lady Gaga noticing me on Tik Tok. All of this was covered in this week's podcast.

[Mrs. P]

I take full credit here and on the Patreon exclusive.

[Alex]

Yes. The Patreon exclusive podcast known as the Warm Up. It's the Pearl Maniac Parasocial Patreon Paywall podcast.

[Mrs. P]

For the people.

[Alex]

For the people. But no, it was a great episode. It was a great fun, and it's just been. It's been a crazy time. We're actually recording this a day before. Or. I'm going to go to Broad street in Philadelphia, and I'm gonna go to the Eagles parade, their super bowl victory parade, and try to meet up with as many people as I can.

[Mrs. P]

I am not gonna go.

[Alex]

You are staying home.

[Mrs. P]

I've been there. I've done it. I went to a Phillies parade when the Phillies won the World Series.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Mrs. P]

Too many people.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And I went to the Eagles parade when they won the super bowl last time.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Mrs. P]

Little too much.

[Alex]

I went.

[Mrs. P]

I'm not a big. I'm not big into crowds.

[Alex]

I want to be there among the people. I want to be there in my Kelly Green. I want to have Miller Light poured on my head. Y. I want to punch a horse cop. There's a lot I want to get.

[Mrs. P]

I need you to not punch the horse cop.

[Alex]

Okay. I'm gonna punch it with kisses.

[Mrs. P]

Don't have that kind of.

[Alex]

I'mma punch it with kisses.

[Mrs. P]

Are you ready to get this started?

[Alex]

I'm not ready to get this started because I have more announcements that I want the episode. I want to just thank all of our listeners.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Alex]

That's. The announcement is for. For a couple different things. Number one, we've gotten a ton of really nice messages from people and DMS emails, Patreon messages, all of them from people who are just so excited about the Eagles in the Super Bowl.

[Mrs. P]

We made a statement that y'all were.

[Alex]

Eagles fans, and you became them, and.

[Mrs. P]

You became Eagles fans. You embraced bird life.

[Alex]

Yep. Bird life. Bird life, bird life, and bird law.

[Mrs. P]

That's what I'm saying. But it all started because we did the bird video.

[Alex]

That's true.

[Mrs. P]

Put the good bird energy into the. Into the ether.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And people said, you know what? Birds are cool.

[Alex]

Yeah, I like birds.

[Mrs. P]

And then in their brains, they said, go, birds.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And then we said, hey, even if you're not from here, you can be about it. Yeah, you can be about it.

[Alex]

And now you're yelling at me that I need to do another tier list about holiday candy because of my Weird love of Easter candy.

[Mrs. P]

I. Okay. Number one, Easter. It's not that. It's the. The corn, the candy. That shit's gross. And I don't understand it. So I think we, like, every holiday has a very specific candy.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Almost every holiday. And so I think you should do a tier list about the specific holiday candies and which ones are good and which ones are bad. Like candy corn. It's gross. It's wax. What's the flavor? It's not even corn flavored.

[Alex]

Well, and then. And then that one dye has been banned. That is like 90% of the candy.

[Mrs. P]

I love that dye. It's delicious.

[Alex]

Yeah, I know.

[Mrs. P]

Back.

[Alex]

Yeah, Well, I think more. It's. It's the candy. It's the candy corn, pumpkins. Oh, yeah. I know.

[Mrs. P]

It's even more than no flavor.

[Alex]

I know.

[Mrs. P]

It's more of a wax of filling on your tooth.

[Alex]

Yeah. But more importantly was. I went and bought myself a bunch of Easter candy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because I don't know why. I just love Easter candy.

[Mrs. P]

Love an Easter candy.

[Alex]

There's something about it. It's because. I think it's because it's limited run.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then we started talking about it.

[Mrs. P]

Special edition.

[Alex]

And then you were like, you should do an episode.

[Mrs. P]

And then I started naming them. Think about all the holiday candies.

[Alex]

Before you knew it, you had a list that you're pointing at and screaming at me. So I don't know, maybe we'll do that this week. I. Who knows? Or I might be in jail.

[Mrs. P]

I mean, you're not going to punch a horse cop. I've already said it.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Again with kisses. Okay. So with that. With that.

[Mrs. P]

Also. Wait, real quick.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Shout out to the people that told us they were going to the library board meeting.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah, no, we've gotten a couple of messages from quite a few.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Y'all.

[Alex]

One message was so cute. We just got it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It was. These people went to a husband, wife, went to their library board meeting. And the people at the library board were so confused.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because they said no one had. They haven't had a visitor in seven.

[Mrs. P]

Years from the public.

[Alex]

From the public who wasn't already member of the library or on the board.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And they were like, hey, good news. No one here has tried to ban books, which is.

[Mrs. P]

Love it.

[Alex]

Which is. You know what?

[Mrs. P]

That's what we're talking about.

[Alex]

Small victim.

[Mrs. P]

Keep an eye on it. Keep an eye on it.

[Alex]

But with. With all the things happening across the nation, with especially budgets being slashed, austerity upon us with a mix of other things like fascism and prestonationalism.

[Mrs. P]

We don't talk about that podcast. Not this episode. Definitely not.

[Alex]

Definitely not in this episode. Definitely not a huge part of this one. But as that's happening, remember, you have to. You, the listener, need to get more involved with the world around you.

[Mrs. P]

If you are capable, if you're able to have the capacity and the time.

[Alex]

But check in on your local city councils, your county commissioner meetings, take a.

[Mrs. P]

Class on how to run for local.

[Alex]

Office, any of those different things. Go find out all those different stuff to figure out kind of how you can shore up, you know, your community and kind of how yourself, your family, your kids, and just your neighbors and your friends and everybody else can still have a good time. Because, listen, there is no Calvary. There will not be a Calvary. We are our own Calvary. So make sure that you are preparing and trying to figure out the world around you. So with that, before we get into anything more and I make you more.

[Mrs. P]

Depressed, I was like, damn, what a crazy way to open this.

[Alex]

Well, listen, I really boomed, everybody with last week's episode. A lot of people told me the local episode, they were like, listen. Harsh. They were like, it was very good, very hard. Can I say that, people, this one, I don't think we have to have a. Do we have to have a content warning on this one?

[Mrs. P]

I don't. I mean, we're talking about evangelicals and Trump. It's gonna be a whole thing.

[Alex]

Yeah, but it's not gonna be that LOL.

[Mrs. P]

It's not LOLcow. I'm not trying to do that.

[Alex]

Okay, well, there we go. So this is gonna be more of a modern episode, everybody. We're gonna learn all about Paula White. Not Paula Deen, not Paul White. We're gonna learn all about this person. I'm just gonna start the EP. I'll shut up now. Mrs. P, the floor is yours.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, I know. I cleaned it.

[Alex]

Okay. Whoa. All right.

[Mrs. P]

Whoa. As Lady Gaga would say, the floor is on fire. Oh, yeah. Okay. So here's what happened. I started looking into this Paul White lady a while back.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And then I got lost in the sauce, if you will. Yeah, Right. And so basically, I just started, like, taking notes on my phone. Like in the notes app.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I was like, I gotta. I gotta look back into this. And so this started as a collection of notes apps.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

And then I was like, let me open a Google Doc.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And start writing this down in a fashion in which I could explain it to You. Because this isn't the usual. Like, I had too many tabs all at once. This was like me noticing things, and then I'm like, let me gather my thoughts. So this is the thing I wanted to start with, to explain who Paula White is, because I think that's what I want to do today is I want to explain to you and the listeners who Paula White is and why we should know her backstory in order to, like, have that information in our minds for the future. Right.

[Alex]

Because we'll be hearing her name.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And we'll be seeing her face.

[Mrs. P]

Maybe. I don't know. You never know.

[Alex]

You never know. But it feels very, like, without giving.

[Mrs. P]

It too much away, like, we never know with him. Like, he says he's gonna do shit, but then. Does he?

[Alex]

Yes, that's true.

[Mrs. P]

So theoretically, maybe 50. 50 shot. Right? So. Okay. Do you know what Independent Network Charismatic Christianity is?

[Alex]

No, I'm gonna.

[Mrs. P]

I'm gonna say it again. Independent Network Charismatic Christianity. Also known as inc, which is an abbreviation for incorporated, but.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Inc.

[Alex]

I was gonna say inc. Yeah. I've never. I can. I can tell you what I think it's going to be.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

I think it's going to be a series of crucifixes stacked on top of each other in a triangle shaped structure.

[Mrs. P]

Very close.

[Alex]

Wow.

[Mrs. P]

Independent Network Charismatic Christianity.

[Alex]

It's the network that gets you. It's the network that gets me. I don't like the fact what, the second you. You add network in there, I'm like, no, you know what they need? They need a pope. We need to give them a pope right now.

[Mrs. P]

You guys need a pope, y'all. You need some main dude. Okay, so is a movement which is focused on the authority of charismatic apostles and seeks the wholesale transformation of society. Okay, so this is the opposite of what we just said. No popes, just apostles.

[Alex]

Okay, so just so let me get this straight.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

If you're charismatic, you are therefore an apostle.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And then you should trans. Hey.

[Mrs. P]

Uh oh.

[Alex]

Uh oh. Uh oh, what's that? Is that my messianic complex? Uh oh.

[Mrs. P]

Looks like somebody's gonna get incorporated. Now, this movement is distinguished from other forms of Christianity by its use of net networks of charismatic apostles rather than the more traditional church structures and hierarchies. These networks are sustained by the use of social media, which facilitates communication between leaders in the network and enables leaders to build a following which is not tied to a geographical area.

[Alex]

Wait, okay, so they're literally just like. No, you can just be. You can just Be a church influencer.

[Mrs. P]

Yes. Without the church network marketing. Boom. Boom.

[Alex]

Okay, okay, okay. So we're starting in ink.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

We're starting in ink.

[Mrs. P]

We got to know about.

[Alex]

But also this way. Okay, okay, hold on.

[Mrs. P]

I'm listening.

[Alex]

Remember how you explained to me a while ago about how Kris Jenner of the Kardashian clan.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex]

How she started a church.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

And how all of them have their own churches as tax dodges.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex]

Is this also another way to start a church without having to actually invest in real estate?

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex]

Y'all. Okay. This is gonna be such an episode.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

All right, go ahead.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. They also have a belief and encourage the use of supernatural gifts of the Holy Spirit, along with a focus on the transformation of society according to Christian values through prayer and by Christians reaching positions of leadership in areas of business, government, media, entertainment, education, family, and religion, AKA the seven mountains of culture. We're back at the Seven mountains.

[Alex]

This is tied into seven mountains.

[Mrs. P]

This is. This is part of seven mountains.

[Alex]

Oh, my God. Here we go. Which. And for those of you guys who.

[Mrs. P]

Don'T know, we did an episode on it.

[Alex]

We had. It's. It's about the culture, the Christian cult that was trying to. That.

[Mrs. P]

The tiktokers.

[Alex]

Yeah. The Tick Tockers.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

There was a bunch of Tick Tock dancers who got signed to the Seven Mountain Media.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And. Yeah. And this has always been about Christian dominionism and the idea of overtaking society, but these are the guys who are coming in and sprinkling in a little influencer marketing on top of it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, exactly. Oh, affiliate codes.

[Alex]

Oh, here we go.

[Mrs. P]

Independent network Christianity.

[Alex]

I do like the. By the way, the supernatural parts. Crazy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, that's because they like to speak in the tongue.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Baba Yaga. Baba Yaga. Baba Yaga.

[Mrs. P]

Don't bring her up. She's a lovely lady. Okay, okay. So Independent network Christianity is not a denomination, but rather a network of independent church leaders. Whereas more traditional church movements have sought to build congregations and create franchises of affiliated churches, Inc. Leaders prefer to try to directly influence the beliefs and practices of individuals, regardless of their personal and denominational affiliations.

[Alex]

I am obsessed with. Okay, this is so good. So if you look at church, right, let's go and start with the Catholic Church. Like, the Catholic Church is like Walmart.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Alex]

What?

[Mrs. P]

You think the Catholic Church is not like Walmart?

[Alex]

Oh, no, no.

[Mrs. P]

Stained glass.

[Alex]

No, you're right. You're right. Walmart's molested less kids. So with. But the Catholic Church is Kind of like Walmart or Target or one of those where it is centralized. Right. The, the, the owners own the whole thing. Like. Yeah. And there's people who can buy in and stuff like that. Like maybe you can buy some shares.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Versus McDonald's press. Like, like most Protestants are like McDonald's in that you have like, you're saying franchises.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Where. Oh yeah, like this preacher can own and this like owns this area or owns this territory or has these things. But then they're tied in. In networks.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Together to create like the Southern Baptist Network. Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Like drug dealers.

[Alex]

These guys though are straight up affiliate link TikTok shops. That's what you're describing.

[Mrs. P]

For Jesus.

[Alex]

It's TikTok shop Jesus. It's Instagram, Shop Jesus. I'm.

[Mrs. P]

Next sentence.

[Alex]

We're drop shipping the Lord.

[Mrs. P]

You're going to love this next little thing I just wrote down.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Individual salvation is regarded as more important than building church congregations without any formal denomination or movement. Individual leaders are connected by informal yet powerful cooperative networks.

[Alex]

I don't understand what you just said.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, okay. So whereas if you're at a church, if you go to church, your priest. Because again, I'm thinking Catholic, your priest wants to save the souls of everybody in the church. In that room.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah. That's a number. It's a numbers game.

[Mrs. P]

It's a numbers game, but it's about the congregation. You're bringing together a congregation.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

You have their children, you have their funerals, their baptisms. It's a family affair about the salvation of your congregation. This doesn't matter. In ink. In ink. Individual salvation. Me, you watching my Instagram reel and being and feeling the Lord through my Instagram reel is more important than you going to church? You know what I mean? My one to one connection with you and how I bring God to you because I am an apostle of God. God and have you know, the Holy Spirit. I. I am more important at a certain level than which church you go to. It doesn't matter. What I bring to the table is more important than which church. Which is why denominations don't matter.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah, you can go to your.

[Mrs. P]

Lutheran church, but are you subscribed to my. What's that thing that the people are subscribed to now?

[Alex]

What?

[Mrs. P]

Where you get the substack? Substack?

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you following my Christian substack? Because if you're not, then you might as well just be giving money to Satan.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Alex]

Okay, I'm understanding this a little bit more now. So because. Yeah, so these influencers, it's. The individuals have to be linked to the right Christian influencer to then be. To find salvation.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, I mean, they. That's what they're selling.

[Alex]

No, that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So INC believes in supernatural spiritual gifts such as supernatural healing, miracles, prophecy, and speaking in tongues. Supernatural activity is not limited to charismatic leaders. Schools such as Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry teaches their students to practice supernatural gifts themselves and use them in. Community leaders suggested that the promise of direct experience of the supernatural is attractive to young people and a key draw for them becoming involved.

[Alex]

Okay, so one thing that's always really bugged me, right, Is this idea with the supernatural, right. Is that these are the same people who then will yell, what is and isn't natural? Cause, like, what matters most is what's natural. Like, you have to. You weren't born this way, or you're going against this natural law or all this different stuff. But then they say in particular, you need to actually be doing this thing. Like, we actually are beyond the natural law.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, number one, hear me out. So this woman with a lot of Botox in her forehead is telling you that you should be natural. That's one thing.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But I think the funnier thing is they created their own Hogwarts, and these people fucking hate that book.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah, it's true.

[Mrs. P]

They created.

[Alex]

They created. The Bethel School is a Hogwarts.

[Mrs. P]

It's a Hogwarts for special kids that can talk to Jesus through the. Through the. Or the Holy Spirit.

[Alex]

Wait, wait, hold on. Okay, so. So let's go down this list of super. I'm really stuck on this list of supernatural because this is the shittiest X Men I've ever heard.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay. Cyclops can shoot laser beams. It's actually a force blast. It's not a laser, but he can shoot that. Okay, don't. Don't start. Storm controls the weather. Okay, Jean Grey, I dare you to.

[Mrs. P]

Ask these people who controls the weather?

[Alex]

Okay, I don't want to go down that route. I don't. Because depending on what happened, it has either been God, the Jews, or the government. And when they say the government, they mean Democrats. But when. Okay, so we have Speaking in tongues. Yep, speaking in tongues. Because this has always been the stupidest one to me. Prophecy, prophecy. Which I want to know what the batting average has to be to be good at prophecy. Because again, like in baseball, right, you know, you need to have like a.200 batting average, which means one out of five times you get up there. You actually connect.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

To me, if you were really picked by God, you should have a 1000 batting average. You should be 1 to 1. Every time you say something's going to happen, it should fucking happen.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But I want to know what their batting average is.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, next after prophecy, just general miracles.

[Alex]

General miracles.

[Mrs. P]

Miracles. It was just common miracles.

[Alex]

Like what does that even mean? Like somebody actually putting their card away.

[Mrs. P]

Wow.

[Alex]

What?

[Mrs. P]

Okay, next one was supernatural hearing. Healing.

[Alex]

Healing. Hearing would actually help.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

If they had supernatural hearing.

[Mrs. P]

Well, they're. But they still not listening. Damn it.

[Alex]

Got me the right joke.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay, so we got the healing, which is always fun. That one's always fun because that is always just adrenaline. Yeah, it's always adrenaline in the moment. It's the person is pumped, they're surrounded.

[Mrs. P]

By people, everybody's chanting. Yeah.

[Alex]

When you go back to the Benny, Betty Hinn and all those different people and he throws the jacket at people and they fall down.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

God, it's the best.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. So these are spiritual gifts from God and I think this is what you have to remember.

[Alex]

But then why do you have to go to a school that.

[Mrs. P]

No. Well, okay, so because you're selected that the owl comes and tells you you're special.

[Alex]

It's an owl. No, I thought owls were demonic.

[Mrs. P]

Harry Potter. Okay, got it. So I was about to say, because.

[Alex]

I was like, that's Athena.

[Mrs. P]

If you're spiritual, if you are considered a charismatic spiritual leader and. Or you want to be a charismatic spiritual leader because again, you can train for this at the school. Right. You have the ability, because you are blessed by God and chosen by God to then have these, these abilities. But these abilities and other people that aren't chosen by God are bad and evil.

[Alex]

Oh, right.

[Mrs. P]

Because that's demonic. That's the devil coming for you. Look out. If it's somebody else's religion, no bad, evil.

[Alex]

Got it.

[Mrs. P]

But if it's our specific religion, under ink, under this type of Christianity. Yeah, you're good.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

But not specific Christianity because again, no denominations.

[Alex]

Got it.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

As long as. As long as you say it's Christian, you're fine.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

That's real, real loosey goosey.

[Alex]

Got it. Understood.

[Mrs. P]

All right. The defining characteristic of Ink Christianity is belief in social transformation. In contrast with classical Pentecostal, which tends to hold little hope for social justice in this world. Many ink groups believe that heaven can be made on earth through the action of Christians. The intention to create, quote, a trickle down effect whereby the values of Christians who reach the top of these mountains will ultimately influence the whole of American and global society.

[Alex]

Okay? So we're going to trickle down salvation.

[Mrs. P]

Trickle down economic salvation.

[Alex]

Got it? Okay, great. I hate this episode. I hate it so much. This is the first. I know. We're in the first section and I'm already so mad.

[Mrs. P]

You want to take a break?

[Alex]

You've hit me. Hold on, let me just breathe real fast. Because you hit me with trickle down salvation. And I just want you to know I. Ronald Reagan is in hell.

[Mrs. P]

And him and his dumbass wife. Yeah, and that orange juice bitch. I'm collecting them trophies.

[Alex]

We did.

[Mrs. P]

See you next. McConnell fall again.

[Alex]

We're gonna take a break. Wow. Eating well doesn't have to take up your whole day. Factor makes it easy. With meals you can heat and eat in just two minutes, everything arrives fresh and fully prepared. It's perfect for any busy lifestyle. And with 40 options to choose from each week, it's as easy as selecting your favorites and waiting for them to show up on your doorstep. Whether you're on a keto diet, want to up your protein, or you're watching your calories, there's something for everyone. And let us tell you, between having a baby and having diet restrictions ourselves, this has been such a dream partnership working with Factor and making sure that we have options that are readily available. As you guys know, Mrs. P loves to cook, and Factor is one of the few meals that she's okay with popping into a microwave that she hasn't prepared herself. With these fresh meals you can get at any time. They are top tier and the convenience is incredible. Eat smart with Factor. Get started [e-mail] toomeny 50 off and use code too many 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code too many 50 [e-mail] too many 50 off to get 50 percent off plus free shipping on your first box. Or check the show notes for more info.

[Mrs. P]

All right, we're back. So I want to introduce you to our main character now that we know what ink is, right? Independent network. Charismatic Christianity. What a name.

[Alex]

What an I. Hold on. It's the fact that they had to sit there. I wonder what they came up with first. I wonder if they came up with ink first and then backdated it or if they went the other way around where they had, like, network independent.

[Mrs. P]

They did one of those bubble things where they have all the words and then you see which words come up bigger.

[Alex]

You know, I hate those. Yeah, I hate Those so much.

[Mrs. P]

So Paula Michelle Fur was born in Tupelo, Mississippi. Shout out to blue, honey. April 20, 1966. Paula states that she had a rough childhood. Her father committed suicide and her mother became an alcoholic.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Really rough time. Right. She eventually moved to Maryland in 1984, where she converted to Christianity and will later claim to have received a vision from God shortly after her conversion.

[Alex]

Where in Maryland?

[Mrs. P]

I don't know where in Maryland.

[Alex]

Okay. Because it's very important because I swear to God.

[Mrs. P]

Why? Were you. Were you born in Maryland in 1984?

[Alex]

Yes. And if she was anywhere near where I was born, I'm gonna be very mad. Oh, my God.

[Mrs. P]

I don't have time to look.

[Alex]

What a. What a time. What a What a perfectly pinned, just targeted assault on me.

[Mrs. P]

What if she just. Let's see. Early life, marriage. It's all about how. Okay. It doesn't say.

[Alex]

It's fine. It's fine. That's just. Oh, God. No, we're good.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. I could figure out from the church she joined because the next thing I wrote down. And so her first Marriage was at 19. Oh, because she had become pregnant after converting to Christianity. That's frowned upon, young lady. Hello. Okay, I know the rules.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

You got to wait till marriage.

[Alex]

So she. So she became. She converted to Christianity.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Which also, like, I hate those because I'm like, there's no way you converted to Christianity. You converted to whatever this form of Christianity you're talking about. Because there's. Most people in the country have had. Had been baptized when they're little or they've had some sort of aspect of her, especially if she grew up in Tupelo, Mississippi. You mean to tell me you lived 18 years?

[Mrs. P]

Well, they do the thing where they.

[Alex]

You.

[Mrs. P]

They refresh. Yeah, yeah. You refresh.

[Alex]

Born again.

[Mrs. P]

Born again.

[Alex]

Yeah, they dunk you.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, the dunks.

[Alex]

Yeah. And if you do it really well.

[Mrs. P]

Kat Von D did it.

[Alex]

Russell Brand is doing it now.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, he's. Well, he's gotta.

[Alex]

He's doing it while wearing underwear.

[Mrs. P]

You gotta do the Christian rebrand when they get. When you get caught doing those kind of things. Things, sir. Yeah, we all know.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Anyway, remember when he dumped Katy Berry via text. I saw that in a documentary. Anyway, that's not the worst thing he did. I'm just making a joke. So eight Kitty fairy, too.

[Alex]

Such a chaotic episode.

[Mrs. P]

So the guy that got. She got pregnant with. She married him. He was titled as local musician.

[Alex]

Oh, she banged a local musician.

[Mrs. P]

They got hitched in 1980. 5.

[Alex]

A year later in. In 1985, though, I want to say something. 1985, local musician could make money because people used to go out. People used to leave their homes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Now, if you're a musician, you're. You're praying to the Spotify gods.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, I hope that Sabrina Carpenter dances to this during her Dunkin Donuts commercial on TikTok.

[Alex]

Yeah. Basically, that's kind of what you're praying for.

[Mrs. P]

So she meets this associate pastor named Randy White while attending the Damascus Church of God, which was headed by his father. So he's a Nepo baby. Okay.

[Alex]

So he's literally the son of a preacher man.

[Mrs. P]

He's the son of the preacher man at the church he goes to. Okay. They. Paula and Randy both divorced their spouses in 1989 and married each other.

[Alex]

Oh, this is like. They're like, what, like 23 or 24 now, right?

[Mrs. P]

Mm. They pack up and move to Tampa.

[Alex]

Tampa, Florida.

[Mrs. P]

Yep. We're going to Tampa, baby.

[Alex]

Yeah. Yes.

[Mrs. P]

And this is all great stories begin.

[Alex]

Every good time that's ever been had, it's been found in Tampa, especially near Clearwater, Florida.

[Mrs. P]

Absolutely.

[Alex]

That's where you got to go. Down there, you get a turkey leg, and then you watch the Phillies play spring training.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Not anymore, though. I'm not going to Florida.

[Alex]

No.

[Mrs. P]

So they go to Tampa, and they start a new church called Without Walls International Church. I like the boldness of going international right away.

[Alex]

Yeah. Going international in Tampa without walls.

[Mrs. P]

International.

[Alex]

If you're gonna go international, do it in Orlando. Yeah, go international in Orlando.

[Mrs. P]

Don't you gonna do international? Go to the House of Pancakes. So the church struggled financially and could not afford to pay the whites a salary for the first two years.

[Alex]

Oh, that's crazy. Not being able to pay the whites. But also, they don't have walls.

[Mrs. P]

I'm just.

[Alex]

What are you paying?

[Mrs. P]

I feel like they put that note in themselves.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

From whatever wiki I pulled this from.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. I feel like they had to put their struggle. We couldn't pay ourselves a salary. We were doing it as the kindness of our heart.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Like, that's how it reads to me.

[Alex]

Yeah. Which is always. Which is very similar. A lot of the churches have this.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because it's very similar to all tech companies were in the garage.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Of course.

[Alex]

Which is actually crazy because that's actually. I think it's IBM story, but. Or Hewlett Packard. One of those. But then Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and all the other guys also claim that they started in A garage.

[Mrs. P]

A lot of garages going on.

[Alex]

Yeah, but all that's just PR at this point.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It's all lies.

[Mrs. P]

The couple lived on government assistance and handouts of others that was in. I said, okay, okay. The church held services at an outdoor tent. Reported 5,000 attendees a week, and 10,000 ministered to outside the church through their 230 outreach ministries. So this is over time. This little segment like this is a couple years later.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

So they start to build up really big.

[Alex]

Yeah, 5,000 a week is substantial.

[Mrs. P]

Big 230 outreach ministries. A lot of people.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

They ended up buying and converting an old Canada Dry factory into a church.

[Alex]

The ginger ale.

[Mrs. P]

Ginger ale.

[Alex]

They made a ginger into. Okay. You know, you were going off couple days ago about this. I was, yeah. About Catholicism versus Protestants. Because you were yelling. You were like, they only.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, listen, please don't take offense to this, everybody and anybody, but I was talking my shit.

[Alex]

Yeah, because you were raised Catholic, so.

[Mrs. P]

I was raised Catholic, and everybody's yelling about the Pope right now and JD Vance, all this shit. But I was like, the. All these Protestants were on the Internet talking shit on Catholics, and I was like, don't talk to me from your Canada Dry warehouse. We got the most beautiful of all the problems. The Catholic Church. We got a lot of problems. We got beautiful stainless windows. We got marble floors. Oak pews is beautiful.

[Alex]

How many. How many saint statues you got?

[Mrs. P]

How? I need to see your St. Jude. I need to see your Mary. I need to see the cute little Jesus she's holding, St. Joseph with the cross. I need all of them. I'm telling you, I've been to some of the ugliest, boring. I got bank carpeting churches in my life for I had to do for work. And I'm like, sitting here either ain't nothing on a wall. The. Everything is just boring and bland. And there's always some live music because that's the only place you get live music, apparently, is some guy with a guitar that wants to play Hallelujah. God. And you're gonna come at me and say that the Catholic Church isn't the real church. I got no skin in the game. I don't care the way Catholic churches are beautiful. And if I was thinking if I imagine the buildings. The buildings. If I imagine church. Church. In my mind, it's always going Catholic first.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

We got the lockdown on what a church looks like. Esthetically.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I'm saying.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Also, there's one guy in charge. Apparently we don't have A network associates with affiliate links.

[Alex]

I think I've always. My thought process of the Catholic Church.

[Mrs. P]

I can't believe I have to defend the Catholic Church. I'm not saying you had no I here. I'm just saying, like, on the Internet right now, it's just like everybody is screaming about the Catholic Church, and I'm like, how am I right now in my mind being like, no, we gotta listen to the Pope on this one, guys.

[Alex]

Which is crazy because J.D. okay, let's explain, okay. To the listeners out there for those guys who haven't been following it. A couple things have happened with J.D. vance, the Vice President of the United States.

[Mrs. P]

No, he's the third. He's the third. Okay.

[Alex]

Yeah, the. The assistant to the regional manager of America, J.D. vance. J.D. isn't really doing anything, so he's just been tweeting a lot.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And one of the things that J.D. vance is famous for is he converted as an adult to Catholicism. Now did that upset Mrs. Pearl Mania? Yes. Why?

[Mrs. P]

Because you don't get to convert. You're born in. Okay, that's it.

[Alex]

So Mrs. P does not view Catholic.

[Mrs. P]

You know what I think? I. I say, okay, fine. But I also think it's weird. It's weird behavior. I wouldn't. I wouldn't have chose this life. This life was put on me.

[Alex]

Yeah. So J.D. vance, adult Catholic convert, has been tweeting a lot about church doctrine for some reason, because again, he's not doing anything else. Yeah, he's not doing anything as vp. He's just sitting there. And so he's tweeting. And he's also just like, liking a lot of Nazi posts because that's why Elon hid the likes. But the one of the things he talked about was people pointing out the Catholic Church was like, hey, it's kind of like fucked up, you know, that you'd be Catholic. And the Catholic Church believes that, you know, immigrants deserve rights and should be treated as human beings. And J.D. vanson attacked the Catholic Church. So will you guys get paid a lot of money to handle. That's the only reason you give a shit about immigrants. And in fact, you should. You know, I know that Jesus said to love thy neighbor, but, like, he meant like in there's an order to it. Right? The people who would live your immediate family first, then love your neighbor means literally your next door neighbor, maybe the person who lives on your street, maybe somebody lives in your town, but, like, the further away they are, like, you can love them less. You don't have to Love them as much. It's called Ordo amoris. Now, my mom is a Latin teacher. Many of you have heard Magistrate J.D. vance thinks he's casting a spell by saying ordo amoris. What he means is literally in Latin, that is the order of love. What order? The hierarchy of love is what he's claiming. And the thing is, the thing is, anybody who's ever been to a real church or has ever actually talked to somebody who's actually read the fucking book, maybe read the book themselves would know, like. But there's no order.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It's just. It's just love. Like, that's. That's like the guys.

[Mrs. P]

That was like, Jesus's whole.

[Alex]

It was the whole pitch. I know you're coming out here and hitting us with the new. Actually, we're not Comcast, We're Xfinity type of Christianity. But, like, that's the whole thing. And so JD Vans went on a whole tirade about this while also not defending his kids from racists who hate Indians.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then the Pope, a couple days ago, released a document and he sent out to all the bishops that was. And the Pope does this in a way where he's like, I'm gonna send this to the American bishops, but in reality, everybody.

[Mrs. P]

He knows there's a leak.

[Alex]

He knows there's a lease, there's a leaf. He's the Pope. They've been doing this for 2,000 years. Okay. So he was like, hey, just, you know, again, immigrants are supposed to be treated like normal people. There's no such thing as that. Ordo amoris. There's literally a whole thing called the Good Samaritan parable.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

This whole thing exists in the Bible to let you know that, like, hey, even guys, we don't like our people.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And that was Jesus. Whole fucking world.

[Mrs. P]

That was like his whole fucking thing.

[Alex]

Whole fucking thing. Like, it doesn't fucking matter. And, like, just be normal. And then J.D. vance, adult Catholic convert, was like, the Pope's wrong, which means you're not Catholic.

[Mrs. P]

You can't be infallible. It's in. It's the whole thing.

[Alex]

It's in. We've had wars. People have.

[Mrs. P]

Except for Pope John Paul ii. That dude forever. Sorry, what?

[Alex]

You mean Ratzinger?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Ratzinger was the one you're talking about, right? Benedict. Benedict, the one who was before this one. John Paul II was the one who.

[Mrs. P]

Am I thinking of?

[Alex]

You're thinking of Pope Benedict Virginia.

[Mrs. P]

No, John Paul was. When we were young.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Anti gay.

[Alex]

Oh, is he anti Gay.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Real asshole about it.

[Alex]

I don't know. I'm not.

[Mrs. P]

Real asshole about it.

[Alex]

I'm not Catholic. We're here to talk about Paula White.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. So anyway, let's go back to Paul White.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

They made at the church. They have lots of ministry. They're doing great. Okay, White record. Now she gets tight. She's getting on the broadcast because what have we learned on this podcast, if anything? Get on tv.

[Alex]

Get on tv and then what. What year are we talking about Paula white going on TV from going. She's going from tense to TV.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. I'm going to take us to about 2005.

[Alex]

Okay. So she's taking some time. She's been.

[Mrs. P]

She's been really building up this church. They opening a second one. They got. They bought like a huge venue. They're really. They're doing it.

[Alex]

I feel like once you buy a Canada Dry ginger ale warehouse, like, it can only go up.

[Mrs. P]

And that's the first one you got. And they buy a second one, too, in a different part of Florida.

[Alex]

Yeah, not another Canada Dry, though.

[Mrs. P]

It's just another. They're not just taking out soda companies.

[Alex]

She's like, this time Snapple. Whoa, hey.

[Mrs. P]

What's the lid say? Move out. You just pop the snap a little. Has an eviction notice on it. Gotta go. So they start recording her first broadcast of Paula white today on December 2001. Okay. By 2006, her show appeared on nine television networks, including BET, which she was on BET. She was huge on BET.

[Alex]

Really huge. Okay.

[Mrs. P]

For those who don't know BET, black entertainment television.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

She. Apparently she built up a huge following through bet.

[Alex]

Okay. Well, there's also one of those things with BET and a lot of the cable networks as well, is when they were airing on especially Sundays, they knew Sunday morning was like a dead zone.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So you could buy hours and you could buy time. So you came in. It's like an affiliate on that side of things. The same thing Pat Robertson did and a bunch of other ones Robertson built out through the Family Channel and others. So it was like, yeah, it is on bet. But it's not like she was like, affiliate. Was she, like, affiliated with BET in that sort of way? Is this like a Paramount production?

[Mrs. P]

Let me stop. White has ministered to Michael Jackson and Daryl strawberry.

[Alex]

Oh.

[Mrs. P]

In 2003, after Strawberry completed a prison sentence for cocaine possession, Paula White became his personal pastor. Cherise Strawberry, Daryl's wife at the time, worked as an assistant to Paula White, accompanying her on speaking engagements. White is the, quote, personal Life coach of Tyra Banks, and appeared on her show, the Tyra Banks show, in an episode about promiscuity.

[Alex]

Really?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Oh, wow. She got in it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

So Without Walls International Church reported a congregation of 20,000, the largest congregation in the area and the seventh largest church in the United States. And that was around 2007.

[Alex]

Okay, okay.

[Mrs. P]

So really growing in person. This is, again, in person. Congregation really growing. But she's doing the media and she's doing really big in black culture. Right. By 2008, however, they put both locations up for sale due to financial difficulties. The Evangelical Christian Credit Union, which is a real thing. I looked it up. I was like, I'm sorry, the what? The Evangelical Credit Christian Credit Union, which I. When I went to look it up, they changed their name. They had a rebrand, of course, and guess what they changed their name to from eccu.

[Alex]

What do they call it now?

[Mrs. P]

It's called Adelphi. A D, E. Oh, I've heard of this. Capital F I. Adelphi.

[Alex]

Yeah, no, I've heard of this. Like. Yeah, okay. Adelphi was the Evangelical Christian Credit Union.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

That's so crazy.

[Mrs. P]

And for those who don't know, Adelphi is the middle part of Philadelphia.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

For the brother. It means brother.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in Greek.

[Mrs. P]

In Greek, yeah. So the Evangelical Christian Credit Union began foreclosure proceedings on both properties in 2010. They have a rebrand to the independent network Charismatic Christianity. So this. Within this foreclosure, allegedly, she declares bankruptcy. She denies to this day that she ever declared bankruptcy. Okay, sure.

[Alex]

But she worked out something with Adelphi.

[Mrs. P]

Something got worked out, but they. They crashed and burned when it came to the actual.

[Alex]

Well, 2008 would make sense, though, with the subprime mortgage crisis there we have the Great Recession. Happens. Like, a lot of stuff goes sideways, and especially if you are. I'm sure the other thing didn't help is if you're preying on specific demographics that maybe don't have that much money anyway. Especially that we're also being preyed on by the subprime mortgage crisis.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So when all those people are losing their homes, they don't have 10% to tithe anymore.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So I bet she was. Probably. The way a lot of these evangelical preachers run, I'm sure that they were living lavishly while also living month to month, literally living basket to basket. And so when those baskets got light, they probably didn't have as much in the back.

[Mrs. P]

I hear you, but have you considered that it was actually spiritual warfare against her.

[Alex]

I have not actually considered that because.

[Mrs. P]

That'S maybe what she would have said, is that this was spiritual warfare.

[Alex]

Oh, okay. And that a global recession with spiritual warfare.

[Mrs. P]

So anyway, the Senate gets involved.

[Alex]

Which Senate?

[Mrs. P]

Our American Senate, which definitely is a thing right now.

[Alex]

The United States said the Federal Senate.

[Mrs. P]

There was a senator who started a committee. I don't. I didn't write down his name. Oh, Grassley. Senator Grassley.

[Alex]

Chuck Grassley.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

He's the. Currently the Senate pro tem. He's the oldest man in the Senate, loves to tweet about the History Channel and has been using the same lawnmower for 75 years.

[Mrs. P]

That guy, he started a committee to do oversight about certain churches that they thought were fucking around when it comes to taxes, and hers was in there.

[Alex]

Oh.

[Mrs. P]

So the Senate did a report through this committee, and they found that Paula White, her operational spending, she put a lot of ministry funds that were tax exempt in quotes to pay for $900,000 for the couple's waterfront mansion and over a million dollars in salaries to family members and paid for White's private jet.

[Alex]

Ah, there it is.

[Mrs. P]

So literally just the next sentence.

[Alex]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Mrs. P]

So it wasn't spiritual warfare, as some might say.

[Alex]

It was crooked accounting.

[Mrs. P]

It could have been just bad accounting.

[Alex]

There we go.

[Mrs. P]

Allegedly, White and her church did not cooperate with the investigation. In 2011, Grassley issued a report outlining his committee's findings. But no one took any action on them.

[Alex]

Of course not.

[Mrs. P]

There was no.

[Alex]

Well, because here's the thing. I can go ahead and guarantee you that this is one of those types of things where Chuck Grassley gets. Might have a B in his bonnet, or maybe somebody in his orbit did.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Chuck Grassley is the senator from Iowa. And the thing is, is this was kind of almost like a catch and kill type of deal.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because Chuck knows. Chuck knew. Like, hey, we need these evangelicals.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Republicans don't win without them unless we keep these people fucking happy. And there was. There was a little bit of. That was like a power struggle there for a little bit where the business Republicans and the evangelicals fought back and forth. And now.

[Mrs. P]

Not anymore.

[Alex]

Not anymore. Not anymore. Because the. The evangelicals fucking won.

[Mrs. P]

They won big time.

[Alex]

The scammers and the evangelicals, they run that entire fucking party. And the few that were like, I'm just trying to get fucking lower things. Lower taxes. Those dudes are just like, well, I guess we're just gonna get that every way so we can just fuck off.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But listen, let's take another break.

[Alex]

Let's take another break. Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Because I need to breathe before we get in the sex section.

[Alex]

Is it that much?

[Mrs. P]

Well, we're going to introduce our. Our. Our president. Oh, yeah, I know.

[Alex]

Listen, y'all take a break, but definitely.

[Mrs. P]

Come back because it is weird and interesting, and that's why I started going down this hole. Don't just stop listening because I said we were going to talk about that.

[Alex]

Guy because we're not talking about him right now. We're talking about him a few years ago, too, especially during the Great Recession. We're back.

[Mrs. P]

We're back. So listen.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Donald Trump contacted Paula White by telephone in 2002 after watching her show on TV.

[Alex]

Wait, why was Donald Trump watching BET?

[Mrs. P]

She was on other ED networks.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Other networks.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

My first thought is Donald Trump was watching BET in 2002.

[Mrs. P]

Probably. Who knows?

[Alex]

I mean, probably was.

[Mrs. P]

So 2002, Donald Trump sees her on television, is like, somebody get me her phone number. Yeah, I got to call her.

[Alex]

She's blonde.

[Mrs. P]

Or maybe she had her number on the screen. Who knows? He brought her, invited her and brought her to Atlantic City on multiple occasions for private Bible studies.

[Alex]

Oh, I don't like that.

[Mrs. P]

That's what it says. It says private Bible study.

[Alex]

I don't like that.

[Mrs. P]

And has appeared on her television show. Yep.

[Alex]

Oh.

[Mrs. P]

White became his personal. In June 2016, White was credited officially for having converted Donald Trump to Christianity.

[Alex]

To her. To ink.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Her kind of Christianity.

[Alex]

No, I know. That's the thing is it's been a big thing. That is.

[Mrs. P]

So she. He's in her downline.

[Alex]

Yeah. So this is one of the things, though, that's always. I've. I've heard people, especially liberals.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Have a huge problem. Especially liberals who grew up, like, Lutheran or Episcopalian or even Catholic. Like, Donald Trump, whenever asked about, like, well, what's your favorite? Like, Bible verse? He'll be like, all of them. Like, he's just like, I just love Bible. Like, he doesn't know anything actually about.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

The Christian religion at all. He knows nothing about the teachings, nothing about any sort of ways. But he. He likes the vibes. He loves the idea of a Joel Osteen. Like, that's the reason why he loves the. The rallies. Like, his rallies are modern evangelical church. You're in.

[Mrs. P]

It's a tent.

[Alex]

It's. It's a tent revival.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Top to bottom. And so it's a mix of that and wwe.

[Mrs. P]

He just wanted to be an independent network. Charismatic leader.

[Alex]

Yeah. 100.

[Mrs. P]

Hello. Okay, so he gets in her downline, aka converts to Christianity.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And White is. Becomes part of Trump's Evangelical advisory board during his campaign for president. The first time. And she provided the prayer during Trump's inauguration ceremony.

[Alex]

The first time.

[Mrs. P]

The first time.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, so all that's happening, right, in 2015. This is just a weird sub thing. In 2015, she married musician Jonathan Cain of the rock band Journey.

[Alex]

Wait, what? Yeah, she married Journey.

[Mrs. P]

She married the guy from Journey.

[Alex]

What? Do you know what instrument he plays? You don't have it. It's. All right.

[Mrs. P]

Wait, I think it's the. Not the key tar.

[Alex]

It's the keys. Maybe they just keyboard.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, man. Hold on. I thought I wrote it down, too, because I was like, he's definitely gonna ask.

[Alex]

I'm definitely gonna ask what instrument he is. I mean, I know he's not the lead singer.

[Mrs. P]

I don't remember. Whatever. Okay, so. Oh, he was in Santana, too. No.

[Alex]

What? Okay, no, Maybe he played with Santana.

[Mrs. P]

He played with Santana and then joined Journey. Okay, so, yeah, that was just a weird little sidebar because she divorced the other guy after their church collapsed after all the financial stuff or like, kind of during it. Not right after. So she divorced him, and then now she's married to the guy from Journey.

[Alex]

Got it.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. One notable prayer moment.

[Alex]

Keyboardist.

[Mrs. P]

Keyboardist. See, I thought.

[Alex]

Okay, your keytar is right, though, because keytar is a keyboard.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. So I feel like that was the picture I saw.

[Alex]

Okay, you know what? We're gonna go with keytarist. That she married the keytrust. I don't give a fuck. We're close enough. We're in the right ballpark, right?

[Mrs. P]

I. We are not journalists.

[Alex]

No.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, we should.

[Alex]

We're gonna repeat that. This is for.

[Mrs. P]

We're just two people.

[Alex]

This is for entertainment purposes only.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Everything is alleged. This is just a comedy podcast. Yeah.

[Alex]

List said Paula White. You mean the big show?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Talking about the giant from wcw. That's who we're talking about.

[Mrs. P]

I'm just in commentary. Stuff I found on the Internet.

[Alex]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Mrs. P]

One notable prayer moment.

[Alex]

Until New York Times v. Sullivan's overturned, we can do whatever the fuck we want.

[Mrs. P]

Once that happens.

[Alex]

Listen, everything might go behind a paywall then. All right, go ahead.

[Mrs. P]

So one notable prayer moment was White initiating a prayer with Donald Trump on February 27, 2020, at the Afghan African American History Month reception in the Cabinet Room, White led black leaders to lay hands on President Trump. This quote says a moment that aided President Trump appeal to the black community following their concerns with him before he was elected in 2015.

[Alex]

Oh, I remember this. This, this picture is crazy.

[Mrs. P]

That's the picture. And I was thinking you should pull it up if you can, because I never noticed her in the picture. But once I saw it again, knowing who she is, I was like, oh, my God, she is dead center. And it's. I just, I never noticed her there before.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, I'm looking for. I think it's this one. No, no, that's not the one.

[Mrs. P]

No, you. You've all probably seen this picture before. It's. He's in the. Is he in the Oval Office?

[Alex]

Yeah, I think it was in the Oval.

[Mrs. P]

And all of the black leaders are preying on him. But I never noticed there was one white woman up front in the middle. She's the.

[Alex]

Oh, it's this one. It's this one right here.

[Mrs. P]

Yes, your blonde hair.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, because there's a couple. Oh, no. I'm trying to get the. I'm trying to get the full blown up version of it.

[Mrs. P]

They're not going to give it to you. They're hiding.

[Alex]

Getty Images is keeping it. They're keeping it hidden from me. Let's see, where's another version of. Hold on. I can definitely.

[Mrs. P]

I just, I love that they wrote in here that this picture assuaged all the concerns from the black community. That is not what I was hearing on the streets. I was not hearing that this picture changed anybody's opinions.

[Alex]

No, it didn't change anyone's on that one. What's very interesting about it, this isn't the exact. This is the one. Here it is. There we go.

[Mrs. P]

You get it? We got it.

[Alex]

There we go. Now I can throw it on the screen here.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, buddy.

[Alex]

And for those, for those watching, this costs $375.

[Mrs. P]

Absolutely.

[Alex]

But there.

[Mrs. P]

Print it out.

[Alex]

Yeah. There's no. To use it, to license it. So there she is right here in the back. Blonde, blond. I can't do that way. But she's right there.

[Mrs. P]

And then this guy right here.

[Alex]

So this guy next to him, this is Terrence Williams.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I hate this guy so much. He's. He is such. He's again, another maga influencer. So when they banned, when Aunt Jemima changed their label, he got super into selling pancakes and being like, no, no, look at me. And then he leans into all of.

[Mrs. P]

That stuff, that guy. And then. Okay, wait, so let's get back to what I was telling you. Oh, my next note's crazy White. Paula White enthusiastically supported Donald Trump's 2017 decision to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And she thought that was great.

[Alex]

That caused. That caused no issues.

[Mrs. P]

None at all.

[Alex]

Nope.

[Mrs. P]

In July 2018, an interview on the Christian Broadcasting Network.

[Alex]

Real quick, just for our listeners who don't know, that was a huge deal.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Just so you know, like, like it. For a very long time, the United States only recognized Tel Aviv as the capital of Israel. It was worked out many, many times through the UN And a bunch of other things that it would be a huge issue if Jerusalem, which is a divided city, would be recognized as the capital because it is part of the expansionist policies of Likud and other members of the Israeli government who want to wipe out the Palestinian people and remove them completely from the land. So it was like, it's a major part. And it's also played in very heavily with evangelicals, especially because they want to destroy the Temple of the Rock and rebuild the Third Temple of Solomon, which is part of, like, revolutionary apocalyptic preaching.

[Mrs. P]

So, okay, listen, again, not an evangelical. Didn't grow up Pentecostal.

[Alex]

Yeah. Don't want the end of the world.

[Mrs. P]

That's the thing I don't understand is, like, every. Like, there's so many people that I see now on, like, social media and stuff that are like, of evangelicalism. And they're like, no, we want the end of the world. And I'm like, yo, your religion is so oppressive.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

That you want to end your life.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Because it sucks so much here to be alive now that the afterlife is the only thing you have to look forward to.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

They. You should leave your religion. It's a bummer.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

What this crazy.

[Alex]

Cuz it's the same thing as that. You're literally, at that point, you're using the same mentality of a suicide bomber. Yeah. Except you just want to do it to everyone.

[Mrs. P]

Why you got to take the rest of us with you?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

No, I didn't do.

[Alex]

I'm happy here.

[Mrs. P]

I'm having a good time.

[Alex]

You leave.

[Mrs. P]

Bye.

[Alex]

How about you leave?

[Mrs. P]

Go. Oh, my God. They're the ones always screaming, well, if you don't like him, leave America. You leave.

[Alex]

You don't like this plane of existence.

[Mrs. P]

Go. Okay. We're gonna get. We're gonna get told. So this episode's Wild in July. Okay. So on July 2018, in an interview on the Christian Broadcasting Network, White criticized immigration advocates who cited the Gospel's account of Jesus migrating to Egypt, saying, quote, yes, he did live in Egypt for three and a half years, but it was not illegal. If he had broken the law, then he would have been sinful and he would have not been our Messiah.

[Alex]

Wait, what?

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Wait, what?

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Wait, what? Hold on.

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex]

Hold on. Okay. The reason Jesus had to go to Egypt for those couple of years was according to a lot of scripture and a lot of other random. Is because Herod and others were killing children because they were worried about the Messiah, according to the lore. Okay. That. We don't know how much this is true, but they. They left. They left Bethlehem, they left Nazareth, they left that area, Judea in general, and they crossed the Sinai and went to Egypt.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

There was literally this. This is the Son of God and the Messiah and all this idea.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Was literally a refugee.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Running.

[Alex]

And that was the point was like, look at my life and look at how the meek could inherit the earth and all these different ideas. And she was like, yeah, but if. If it was illegal, then no.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay. Okay. I just wanna. Okay. Her racism is that hard.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

In response, a different religious leader named William Barber II called Paula White a Christian nationalist, and said, quote, jesus was a refugee and did break the law. He was crucified as a felon under Roman law.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So, yeah.

[Alex]

He was literally killed by cops.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Was literally killed by cops.

[Mrs. P]

Mm.

[Alex]

Oh, you dusty bitch. I hate her so much. Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Oh, wait, do I need to hit alleged for dusty bitch?

[Mrs. P]

I don't. Is it alleged?

[Alex]

Not gonna.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, boy.

[Alex]

In my opinion.

[Mrs. P]

In my opinion. 2018, she told People this. Okay. She was, like, talking to her online congregation, if you will, on her TV and probably on her social medias.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

In 2018, she told People, suggested. Told them to donate their first paycheck of the year to her ministries as a, quote, first fruit offering for an offering against God's wrath, suggesting that they would be paid back with interest by God, but then if they didn't donate their first paycheck, they would face God's wrath.

[Alex]

Yeah. This lady's going to hell. All right, what's next? I'm going to. I'll declare it.

[Mrs. P]

Paula White embraced Trump's immigration policy, including the detention of immigration immigrant children, claiming conditions were not inhumane. Concerning the conditions of particular facility. The Associated Press had reported, quote, the facility was packed with hundreds of underfed, unwashed children, some of them sick with the flu, forced to look after each other in the absence of adults. But Paula White claimed that following visits to these facilities, that she took, the detained youth received, quote, three square meals a day. Additionally, White Said that, quote, the deplorable conditions reported by opportunistic journalists and immigration lawyers just are not there because the youth were crowded, but the facility was, quote, deep cleaned daily and housed, quote, smiling and laughing children who played games. She's the worst person.

[Alex]

She's the worst person.

[Mrs. P]

She's the worst person.

[Alex]

She's one of the worst people to ever live.

[Mrs. P]

We all, like. There's a lot of bad people. She's on the top of the list.

[Alex]

You know what? I think she just converted me to Christianity because I need to believe in a hell for her to go to.

[Mrs. P]

Exactly. I need to know that there will be suffering.

[Alex]

I need to know because it doesn't feel like she is.

[Mrs. P]

White supported Trump.

[Alex]

I mean, she might be, but she has so much botulism injected into her forehead right now, you couldn't tell if she's having a bad time.

[Mrs. P]

Pardon me. Listen, what's a little Botox in your forehead?

[Alex]

Well, I'm just saying she's had some problems. She's had enough Botox in her forehead that I can't tell if she's sad.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, she's sad.

[Alex]

And I want, I want her. I want to know when she's sad.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, okay. So. White supported Trump in his 2020 reelection campaign. Delivering a prayer at his June camp launch event, White warned Christians that don't support President.

[Alex]

Oh, that was a Tulsa event.

[Mrs. P]

That they would have to answer to God if they didn't support him.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

In November.

[Alex]

Yet she still had tax free status.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Incredible.

[Mrs. P]

Incredible.

[Alex]

Incredible how that, that loophole only seemed to go one way.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Remember when, this year, when that one, that one bishop was like, hey, could you just, like, leave the gay kids and the immigrants, like, alone? At least just tell them you're not going to be crazy. And they were like, how fucking dare she?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, that Episcopal lady.

[Alex]

Yeah, that Episcopal bishop. But Paula White's like, listen, these kids in these cages, they're nice cages. I don't know why people are complaining.

[Mrs. P]

Three meals a day. What more could possibly ask for in the whole world?

[Alex]

I mean, they get. Listen, they almost.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. On the one day after the election, which he lost, when election results showed Trump was losing to Joe Biden, White appeared at a prayer service via live stream, Facebook live. Sorry. And she spoke in tongues and repeatedly called for angelic reinforcement from angels from Africa and South Africa to secure Trump's reelection.

[Alex]

I remember that. I actually remember that now that you mentioned it, because, like, we were. Everyone was having a good laugh at that one.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Because it's crazy because. Also, like.

[Mrs. P]

But did she not accidentally bring us a South African to help him win the next reelection?

[Alex]

That's fair. She did. She reached out to somebody. And also Nazis from Argentina.

[Mrs. P]

Yep. So.

[Alex]

So she did. She did call. Her prayers were answered.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex]

Maybe I'm not religious anymore.

[Mrs. P]

Back. Back to being atheist.

[Alex]

I'm back to being atheist, everybody.

[Mrs. P]

On January 6, 2021, at a pro Trump rally that preceded an attack on U.S. capitol, White offered the opening prayer before Trump's speech.

[Alex]

Oh, cool. She was. She was the kickoff act.

[Mrs. P]

She was opening. She's the opener.

[Alex]

She was the fucking hype man for January 6th.

[Mrs. P]

Yep. She brought. She brought God.

[Alex]

The good word God. All right.

[Mrs. P]

And my final note here on my piece of paper.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

On February 7th of 2025, Donald Trump announced the creation of a White House faith office with Paula White as its director.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Mm.

[Alex]

Sounds about. Sounds about White. What?

[Mrs. P]

Nothing.

[Alex]

At this point. I just. You know what sucks? It's just a lot of stuff. So much stuff. It just sucks that, like, we. So much propaganda was fed to us as children.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

That the good. Eventually the long arm of history arcs towards justice.

[Mrs. P]

Mm.

[Alex]

You know, that or good guys always win. All this different shit. I don't.

[Mrs. P]

Know. We are not ending this episode on a bummer.

[Alex]

I'm not ending on a bummer.

[Mrs. P]

None of your nihilism.

[Alex]

No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm just. It's more one of those ones, though, of, like, we need to be more honest with ourselves and with the people around us, which is, you know, there's a lot of fucking psychos out there.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And when they show up, we have to point to him and go, that's a fucking psycho.

[Mrs. P]

That's a liar and a grifter.

[Alex]

Yeah, but also. But also. Here's the thing, though. If they're allowed to get away with lying and grifting. I'm just saying. Am I. I'm just saying.

[Mrs. P]

Are we starting a cult right now?

[Alex]

I'm not starting a cult.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

I'm just saying that maybe y'all maybe. Maybe grift a little.

[Mrs. P]

No, you're not allowed to tell them the grift because I'm not allowed to grift.

[Alex]

No, you're not allowed to grift because you'd be too good at it. Okay. The same way you're not allowed to drink alcohol is the reason why you're.

[Mrs. P]

Not allowed to like that story from last week.

[Alex]

Yeah, I know. They did. Okay.

[Mrs. P]

People I saw comments from BE like, tell us More stories. I was like, I don't remember a lot of them, man. I got to ask other people.

[Alex]

Literally a problem.

[Mrs. P]

I got to ask other people what happened.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Luckily those pictures were printed out at a CVS probably.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

They're not on the Internet.

[Alex]

No.

[Mrs. P]

Back in the day, we did all of our. Our bad behavior on actual film.

[Alex]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's. Is. This was. This episode was infuriating.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

I'm. I'm real mad.

[Mrs. P]

I'm sorry. I just felt like I need. Okay, here's what happened. I saw this White House faith office, and I said to myself, self, there's a separation of church and state. What the are you talking about? Yeah, and then I read what the WhiteHouse.gov website describes their mission statement. Because again, just like I always say, read a mission statement. And I was like, so we're defunding programs that help people, but we're going to pay for this? What the are they doing?

[Alex]

Yeah. And then you're like, who's this lady?

[Mrs. P]

And I said, who's this lady? And then I went back. And then once I. Once I realized what this independent network, trickle down economics, pyramid scheme, religion is.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I was like, this is. Of course he picked her. Yeah, he loves that kind of grift.

[Alex]

Well, wait, so she. And she. Is she still married to the keytarist from Journey?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Yeah. Stepmother to his kids.

[Alex]

God damn, dude. Y'all, I think it's time to stop believing. No, I think it's time like it. Stop believing. Don't stop. Yeah, no, we're stopped.

[Mrs. P]

We're done believing also.

[Alex]

That's another thing too. You gotta be like, hey, guys, whenever somebody puts on Journey, be like, don't use this song. Yeah, we can't use this one.

[Mrs. P]

Anything else right now. We don't need him to get any kickbacks.

[Alex]

Yeah, no, no, we don't want any. What's the word? The thing?

[Mrs. P]

They get street, they stream, they get monies.

[Alex]

Yeah, I can't remember what it's called.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know.

[Alex]

My brain is mush right now.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, we. I just cooked our brain.

[Alex]

Once you brought Tyra Banks into it, I was very upset.

[Mrs. P]

I don't really like tire banks. We should do an episode on America's Next Top Model and I'll explain to you America's Next Top Model, why I don't like tire banks.

[Alex]

There are a few people I've been seeing more and on the Internet who are doing retrospectives on 2000s reality shows.

[Mrs. P]

It was a crazy Time.

[Alex]

Well, it was also. But also, that was 20 years ago.

[Mrs. P]

Shut the fuck up.

[Alex]

It's 2025, babe. You have to deal with the fact that 2005 was 20 years ago.

[Mrs. P]

That's.

[Alex]

And. And honestly, a lot of it doesn't, like, visually doesn't hold up anymore because it was right in the conversion to digital.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So if you go back to stuff from the 70s, 80s, and even into the 90s, it's recorded on film and the film can be digitized, but in the early 2000s, into the 2000s, we were recording on digital. That can't then be upgraded.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So going back, like, watching America's Top Model Next Top Model is hard because it's literally pixelated.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Was it on VH1? Not VH1?

[Alex]

No, it was on. It was on CW.

[Mrs. P]

CW.

[Alex]

Well, then it was UPN.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So, yeah. But no, it's. A lot of those are very difficult to watch because it was cheaper to film it on digital and then never have it be upgradable.

[Mrs. P]

It's crazy because, like, I love that show when I was younger, and then, like, now you watch back and I'm like, oh, my God.

[Alex]

Every now and then you'll reference it, and then you go, no, no, you don't understand the reference. And then you pull up the clip and I'm like, this is what you're referencing. You're like, oh, yeah, I guess this is, like, not really great anymore.

[Mrs. P]

Well, listen, the people that get it, get it. Like the people in blue sky that understand what my picture is. Yes, they get it.

[Alex]

The people who get it get it. The people who don't, don't.

[Mrs. P]

And let me know in the comments if I should do it. And the people explaining to Alex some of the lore I can't do, all the lore. Some of the lore of America's next stop.

[Alex]

But with that being said, the people who get it the most, Mrs. P. Are our brand new Patreons. And we want to thank them here by giving them the hey hunt. Shout out.

[Mrs. P]

The shout outs, I mean, which y'all.

[Alex]

Are about to hear now. And we will be right back with all of those.

[Mrs. P]

Pearl Mania.

[Alex]

Pearl Mania. Pearl Mania.

[Mrs. P]

Pearl Mania500.net you finally closed all those weird AIs.

[Alex]

I'm sorry. I had too many things open as I was pulling up our list of all of our new Patreons and all the new people who are joining us this week to be further down in.

[Mrs. P]

Our now trickle down lore line.

[Alex]

A trickle down lore line. Write it down. Write that down. Write that down here. Put it on this card over here. Right. Trickle down lower line. Oh, my God. How has it taken us nearly three years to get to trickle down lower line?

[Mrs. P]

I don't know.

[Alex]

But also, everybody who joins our Patreon, and no matter what level you join it at, you are now being saved in the light of the Lord.

[Mrs. P]

That's true.

[Alex]

We are now declaring ourselves the church. I am tired of losing. So up top, we are gonna start out. We have about 18 people we want to greet the day. You ready for it? We're gonna start off with Clover. Clover.

[Mrs. P]

Y'all used to love a Clovers. Remember that store?

[Alex]

Oh, Clovers. Yeah. Now it's Kohl's.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But it's strawberries and clothier offshore.

[Mrs. P]

Clovers was great.

[Alex]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I bought my first starter jacket there.

[Alex]

Is that where you bought your first starter jacket? I have been. I've been rocking Go Birds. I've been rocking Eagle starter jacket I bought at Boscov's recently. And everyone who sees it goes, oh, my God. When the. Where did you find that? I was like, boscovs. They're like, where the fuck did you.

[Mrs. P]

Find a boss Gov's? Always the same.

[Alex]

I know. It's the next question. And you know what? I always. I can smell a boss gov.

[Mrs. P]

Loves a boss Gov.

[Alex]

Those y'all who don't know, Boscov's is a department store in Pennsylvania. That's incredible. It has not been updated.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, it's time. What's it called?

[Alex]

A time warp?

[Mrs. P]

No, like when you would bury it.

[Alex]

Oh, a time capsule.

[Mrs. P]

It's a time cap.

[Alex]

It's a time capsule. I know that this was a throwback starter jacket that they were selling, but I believe that they actually found it in a box from 1996 and they just put it back out. After Clover, we have Tough underscore Angie.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, tough underscore Angie. Hey, hon.

[Alex]

No Ange like big Ange. That's why I'm thinking Tough Angie. That's what I think of. Yeah, Big and Big Ange from that show used to watch. After that, we have Fauna Fennec.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Fauna.

[Alex]

After that, we have here for the Jill Stein beef.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, listen, stay to get cooked for the beef, baby. We're getting it on the grill.

[Alex]

I'm never done never letting it go. I haven't even looked today to see if she still hasn't posted.

[Mrs. P]

She probably hasn't.

[Alex]

She still has. I'm going to listen. I'll check. I mean, I will check as we're Going through here. But you're here for the Jill Stein beef. I'm never leaving. After that, we have the underscore. Real underscore Kim. Underscore shady.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

The real Kim Shady.

[Mrs. P]

Love that.

[Alex]

I do love that, too. After that, we have Chelsea Webster.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that, we have Hillary Morel. Moreles Meyer. Les.

[Mrs. P]

She almost got you.

[Alex]

She almost got me there. I'm gonna go with Hillary Morales. That's what I'm gonna go with. After that, we have. Oh, she has actually finally updated. She discovered her login.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex]

Yeah, she discovered her login, and now she has started to just repost tweets.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

I guess whoever was over there discovered.

[Mrs. P]

They had been hitting repost.

[Alex]

Yeah, they must have finally figured it.

[Mrs. P]

Out, got tagged enough times.

[Alex]

After that, they have Tara Smelco. And after that, we have Amanda McGuire.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that, we have Rogue Rabbit.

[Mrs. P]

Well, like that. Because Rogue means red, and Red Rabbit was my favorite book last year.

[Alex]

That was. It was really good book. I really enjoyed that.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex]

After that, we have Jacqueline Lawther.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that, we have Stephanie.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, wait, Am I saying that right?

[Alex]

No, that's spelled. Yeah, I'm reading. Luckily, I read it. Y'all lucky I. I learned how to read phonetically. Yeah, because you nearly me on that one.

[Mrs. P]

Yes, Stephanie.

[Alex]

Yeah, because I was like Stephol. But yeah, it's Steph. S, T, E, F, F, O, O, H, nee. After that, we have J. Lady.

[Mrs. P]

I would say that Jalady.

[Alex]

Ja Lady.

[Mrs. P]

Hello, Jalady.

[Alex]

Hello, Jalady.

[Mrs. P]

Jalady.

[Alex]

After that, that's probably. You know what? I want to assume that that is Joe Biden.

[Mrs. P]

That's J Lady Jaledy.

[Alex]

After that we have Mrs. Love.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, Mrs. Love.

[Alex]

After that, we have Butterfly. Underscore, bi. Underscore. Crazytown. Underscore Pony.

[Mrs. P]

That's deep lore. That's a deep lure. Somebody's doing a throwback right there.

[Alex]

I want you to know I. And I got the notification that that one came in, looked down, went. And then everyone's like, what's so funny? I was like, it's a zoom call. And I was like, don't worry about it. Like, no, no, explain it. And I was like, new Patreon name came in. It's Butterfly by Crazy Town Pony. And they're like, why is that funny? And I'm like, okay, so three years ago, but four years ago, when we moved into our house, they're like, what? And it was 20 minutes. I. This just. Do you know to Butterfly underscore by underscore Crazy Town. Underscore Pony. You took a meeting off track for 20 minutes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Derailed it.

[Alex]

Derailed it for 20 minutes, which is.

[Mrs. P]

What the job of the butterfly in Crazy Town is supposed to do.

[Alex]

Yeah. After that, we have Sarah Beth Timmons.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

After that, we have Jenny.

[Mrs. P]

Hey, hon.

[Alex]

And finally. Okay, we have.

[Mrs. P]

He always closes big.

[Alex]

Were you ready for it?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[Alex]

Over easy, like your mom.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, damn.

[Alex]

And to which I say, how dare you insult.

[Mrs. P]

Magisha would never.

[Alex]

No, I was gonna say, how dare you insult my son's mother, Mrs. P. Like that. You're a mom.

[Mrs. P]

I'm a mom.

[Alex]

You're a mom.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

So when someone's like your mom, they mean you, they mean me. They can mean you now. Oh, no.

[Mrs. P]

I thought they meant older people than me. No, I'm very old.

[Alex]

I know. We're both over 40. Our bones.

[Mrs. P]

Wait, you're not over 40 yet.

[Alex]

I am 40 plus days.

[Mrs. P]

That's true.

[Alex]

So I'm over 40.

[Mrs. P]

Many, many days.

[Alex]

Okay. Not that. Not as many days as you.

[Mrs. P]

Many days.

[Alex]

Not as many days as you, though. I know. We're getting there with that. Thank you guys so much for joining us for this episode. Thank you guys for making it to the end of the episode where we have a fun little phrase for you to write in the comments. And I'm gonna turn that over to Mrs. Pearlmania.

[Mrs. P]

You always turn it over to me, and I'm.

[Alex]

That's not true. I've been doing them. Right? I've been doing them.

[Mrs. P]

I am never prepared. Maybe we just say stop believing instead. Stop believing.

[Alex]

Yep. I want you guys to write in the comments.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex]

Stop believing, y'all. Thank you guys so much for joining for this week's episode. Follow us across social media. Join us on our Patreon Pearlmania500.net and make sure that you stop believing. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers. And we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs.

[Mrs. P]

Open it.

[Alex]

Too many tabs. Remember to smile.