The Litigious Undertaker of Tiktok | Too Many Tabs 3.12

Summary

Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500: Episode Summary Episode Title: The Litigious Undertaker of TikTok | Too Many Tabs 3.12
Release Date: March 16, 2025

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Overview

In episode 3.12 of Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500, hosts Pearlmania500 (Mrs. P) and her husband delve into the tumultuous saga surrounding Lauren the Mortician, a popular TikTok creator known for her morbid yet educational content about death and child safety. This episode explores the intricate web of online drama, legal battles, and the broader implications for content creators navigating social media platforms.

Introducing Lauren the Mortician

Lauren the Mortician garnered significant attention on TikTok by sharing harrowing tales from her experiences as a mortician, focusing particularly on child mortality and safety tips. With 2.8 million followers, Lauren's content resonated with a niche audience concerned about child safety, leading to both admiration and scrutiny.

Wife (02:25): "Listen, you know what I was thinking after I got done writing this episode? Lauren, the mortician."

The Rise of Online Drama

As Lauren's influence grew, so did the scrutiny over her credentials and the authenticity of her stories. Questions arose about how a mortician from a small town could have amassed hundreds of accounts, especially regarding child death anecdotes. This skepticism fueled a fervent fanbase that began to scrutinize and challenge her content, often tagging her with the name "Beetlejuice" in comments to provoke responses.

Husband (04:25): "Honestly, to the people... Have a good time. Stay away from the snow bunnies, y'all."

Mutual Call-Outs and Escalating Conflict

The situation intensified when Jamie Grayson, a dual-certified Child Passenger Safety Training Technician and TikTok creator, publicly called out Lauren for misinformation regarding car seat safety. His professional background lent credibility to his critiques, prompting Lauren to retaliate by questioning his qualifications and professionalism. This exchange spiraled into a broader conflict involving multiple content creators and even led to Lauren's attorney initiating lawsuits against several individuals and podcasts.

Wife (07:37): "Sheissa putting that into her bio to purchase. So they make commissions and gain financially from that, never having used the product with a physical baby on a day-to-day basis."

Legal Battles and Dismissals

Lauren's litigious approach saw her and her IP attorney, Jeanette Braun, filing lawsuits alleging defamation and copyright infringement against creators who criticized her content. However, these legal actions largely backfired. Most cases were dismissed with prejudice, meaning they couldn't be refiled, highlighting significant weaknesses in Lauren and Braun's legal strategy.

Wife (47:05): "This is embarrassing for an IP lawyer because you're supposed to specialize in IP law... but they lost..."

Hosts' Insights on Social Media and Content Creation

Throughout the episode, Pearlmania500 and her husband provide insightful commentary on the dynamics of social media, emphasizing the dangers of parasocial relationships and the addictive nature of online conflicts. They reflect on the importance of maintaining professional boundaries and the pitfalls of becoming embroiled in public feuds that can tarnish reputations and derail content creation.

Husband (80:02): "And you have no idea of their backstory or anything else. So just keep that in mind even when you listen to me."

Analyzing the Legal Proceedings

The hosts meticulously dissect excerpts from the court documents, particularly focusing on the Copyright Claims Board's rationale for dismissing Lauren's lawsuits. They highlight the board's findings that the defendants' use of Lauren's content fell under fair use due to its transformative nature—critique and commentary—which outweighed any commercial intent. The dismissals underscore the futility of Lauren's aggressive legal tactics when faced with well-founded fair use defenses.

Wife (53:40): "Claimant Braun IP Law initiated this copyright infringement claim against respondents Jessica and Lily on December 11, 2023..."

Husband (60:48): "Yeah, we didn't just watch the YouTube videos one time. We watched them multiple times."

Concluding Reflections

As the episode wraps up, the hosts express their disdain for Lauren and Braun's approach, advocating for more ethical and constructive interactions within the content creation community. They caution listeners against engaging in harassment and highlight the importance of understanding legal boundaries to protect one's creative endeavors.

Husband (84:19): "You really don't. You don't even know Mrs. P's face. I barely know it."

Wife (91:43): "It’s too many tabs. Remember to smile."

Notable Quotes

• Husband (10:13): "Well, she was like, I'm losing all this money that I made once, one time, one or two times, where I overcharged..."

• Wife (37:08): "She's trying to put the pedophile jacket wrap it around his shoulders without ever saying his name."

• Husband (73:26): "In sum, Braun IP Law...has not presented any argument that would amount to any error of this loss..."

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Takeaway:
This episode of Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 serves as a cautionary tale about the perils of online feuds and the importance of credible content creation. Through their engaging dialogue and thorough analysis, Pearlmania500 and her husband offer valuable lessons on maintaining integrity and professionalism in the ever-evolving landscape of social media.

Transcript

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[Husband]

Welcome to Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit across from each other at a desk where one of them uses their community college degree to do online research about a topic, and then they tell their loving partner all about that topic. And this week, Mrs. P did her.

[Wife]

Research about Lauren the mortician.

[Husband]

Are you serious?

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

We could get sued.

[Wife]

I mean, now maybe, though, too many.

[Husband]

Frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers, and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs.

[Wife]

Open it.

[Husband]

Too many tabs. Remember to smile.

[Wife]

Why does your face look so concerned?

[Husband]

What do you mean, why does my face look so concerned? The only thing I know about Lauren the mortician is famously litigious.

[Wife]

Famously litigious. True. That's true. Opinion, right? You want to talk about opinions today?

[Husband]

Yeah, we have it. That's an opinion I have. I have an opinion. In my personal opinion.

[Wife]

In my personal opinion. Pretty litigious.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Make you pretty nervous.

[Husband]

It would. Yeah, it makes me very nervous because I don't want. I don't want our Patreon, who log in [e-mail] yeah. Every single week to listen to Things like our 2 separate Patreon exclusive podcasts. Like the Warm up, where you recently declared that this age isn't a new gilded age. It's actually. We're actually in the gutter times. Yeah, that's right. We live in gutter time now, everybody. It's gutter time.

[Wife]

I didn't name it that on purpose.

[Husband]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mrs. P compared this second administration as a relapse.

[Wife]

I did.

[Husband]

And. And we're. We're hop. We're not hopping back at the beginning.

[Wife]

No. We're not dancing on tables. We're back in the gutter, baby.

[Husband]

We're right to the gutter. And everyone who listened to the warmup this week or they've been listening to Vibing out with the food. Idiot.

[Wife]

Yep.

[Husband]

And throughout all of that, they've been enjoying the best comment section in the entire world.

[Wife]

True. It's a great comment section. Usually funnier than us.

[Husband]

Much. Honestly, they. So many. So many good ideas over there, too. And all those different good times.

[Wife]

Listen, you know what I was thinking after I got done writing this episode?

[Husband]

What's this episode about?

[Wife]

Lauren, the mortician.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Is that. That you may know at the beginning of the Law and Order episodes where they're clearly gonna do an episode about something that happened, but then they're gonna say they didn't.

[Husband]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Wife]

There's like that screaming, and it says, the following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. That's how I'm beginning this. That's how this is kind of. Is this. This is just a story I wrote. And there are people's names. They might be other people's names.

[Husband]

What was that one person's name?

[Wife]

Learn the mortician.

[Husband]

Okay. I love that. The best part is most. There's a. There's actually people out there who never watch wrestling.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Who associate that gong with Dr. Umar.

[Wife]

Like, they have the Venn diagram of not knowing wrestling, but knowing Dr. Umar. That's a circle I don't want to be in. Holy shit.

[Husband]

Flat circle of.

[Wife]

You don't have the comedy context to be able to laugh at Dr. Umar.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

If you really think he's.

[Husband]

Yeah. If you think Dr. Umar is right.

[Wife]

Imagine not knowing what. Dr. WHO. Dr. Umar is listening to this.

[Husband]

Oh, my God. I know. You know what? Honestly, to the people. No, no, I'm gonna go and say it to all the whites out there who don't know what the fuck we're talking about. We. We may just fucked your algorithm a little bit.

[Wife]

Have a good time.

[Husband]

Have a yellow.

[Wife]

Stay away from the snow bunnies, y'all. Listen. Oh, no. So, okay, this episode. Her name is. Okay, this episode. I need to say something. Okay, the last two episodes we did.

[Husband]

Yeah, we did.

[Wife]

About serious people that we wanted to talk about the history of. And then I said to myself, we need a sillies. We need a case of the sillies. We need some to discuss that has no real bearing. And we can just have a good. Tee hee hee.

[Husband]

Yeah. We took. We took stories from antebellum times. We took stories from the 1920s, and we pulled them forward and made comparisons to gutter time.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And now we're Just gonna be here in gutter time.

[Wife]

We're just gonna talk some.

[Husband]

But it's not about the J. It's just. Yeah. This is about.

[Wife]

This is about influences about us, social media. You know what? Because you're probably gonna listen to this on Monday at work.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

This is about turning your brain off for a while and just having a good time. You know what I mean?

[Husband]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Wife]

So you remember that. Okay.

[Husband]

I'm gonna remind you that you're gonna Remy that.

[Wife]

Yeah. That this is about having a good time and taking your mind off shit.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Okay.

[Husband]

Because I feel like what we like. All right. I want. Can I make a statement before we begin? Number one, I don't have any Kendrick Drake level beef here.

[Wife]

No.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

I don't barely know who these people.

[Husband]

I don't know who they are, but I feel like from the little. The little bit, I know that there's Drake level lawyers.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Sitting by, just waiting.

[Wife]

You know what? Drake level lawyers. We're going to remember that. Yeah, Put that, write that down.

[Husband]

Write that down. Drake level lawyers.

[Wife]

I want to be able to come back to that.

[Husband]

Okay, well, you know what we're going to come back to? We're going to come back to this.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Right after this. Hey, prime members, are you tired of ads interfering with your favorite podcasts? Good news. With Amazon Music, you have access to the largest catalog of ad free top podcasts included with your prime membership. To start listening, download the Amazon music app for free or go to Amazon.com adfreepodcasts that's Amazon.com adfreepodcast to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads.

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[Wife]

And we're back.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And you're nervous looking.

[Husband]

I am. Okay.

[Wife]

Okay, wait. Let's not focus on. Let's just get started. Okay.

[Husband]

Let's just get started.

[Wife]

Okay, so there's this lady named Lauren, the mortician on TikTok. And again, if you're not a TikTok person. And you don't watch TikTok. I'm going to try to explain who she is. Okay. She's this gal who goes by love Ms. Lauren on TikTok. She has 2.8 million followers.

[Husband]

Whoa.

[Wife]

Got a lot. And the little tale I'm going to.

[Husband]

Tell, as we've declared on the last episode. Yeah, that's like a clan level amount of. I'm gonna start. You know what? Maybe I'm gonna start peppering in more inside jokes.

[Wife]

Okay, good.

[Husband]

That way it's like, force you to go listen to the old episodes.

[Wife]

Perfect.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

That joke doesn't make any sense. Go listen to season one.

[Husband]

No, you have to go look, just the last episode.

[Wife]

We don't remember season one.

[Husband]

No, we don't.

[Wife]

People say people write comments about it. And I go, I don't remember what I said.

[Husband]

I don't know. Yeah, I don't remember what I said. That was pre baby.

[Wife]

Oh, my God. We had brains.

[Husband]

That was both pre baby and pre gutter time. All right, so she has a hundred thousand less followers than me on TikTok.

[Wife]

Wow. Okay.

[Husband]

That's how I choose to remember.

[Wife]

So all this story kind of starts in three. 2023, 2024. Okay. She got popular on Tik Tok by telling stories about how people have died as through her experience as a mortician. Okay. Also known as an undertaker.

[Husband]

Okay. There's a slight delay on the button.

[Wife]

There's a bit of a delay.

[Husband]

There's a little bit of a delay in the button. I'm hitting it right at the right time.

[Wife]

So the stories that she would tell would be like, I witnessed this thing as a mortician. Here's how you can kind of keep yourself safe from that. Right?

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

So like, one thing would be like, ladies, take your hair clips out when you're driving your car, because I saw a horrible head injury from a hair clip being slammed in the back of a skull. Right. So, like, take your hair clips out.

[Husband]

So she's doing A thousand and One ways to die.

[Wife]

Exactly.

[Husband]

That's that. Which is, I think, like a book. And also was a show on Spike tv.

[Wife]

So do you remember Spike tv? And she would tell stories like, I was called to the scene of an accident to pick up this body, and this is what I saw, and this is what we can learn.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Right. She also would answer questions submitted by her TikTok. So people would write questions in her comment section and she would respond to them.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And in all of that, she started talking about stories of children passing away. And, you know, that led into her giving kind of these suggestions about children's safety.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Right. Through the eyes of someone who has witnessed children pass away.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

As a mortician.

[Husband]

Well, she witnessed and passed away.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Through the eyes of somebody who has seen dead kids.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

That's. I mean, that's. I want to be clear about that. Like, she wasn't in the room and was like, oh, I saw this happen, and then the kid died.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

She shows up later, and then it's like, oh, probably shouldn't leave a sack full of magnets on the ground.

[Wife]

No, they're too delicious.

[Husband]

Yeah. So no Tide pods. Oh, these are very basic ideas. Can I get back real quick to A Thousand One Ways to Die?

[Wife]

I don't want to talk about Spike tv. Okay. What do you want to say about Spike tv?

[Husband]

No, it's just that I was gotten annoyed at that show.

[Wife]

I don't think I've ever seen it.

[Husband]

You don't remember it?

[Wife]

I don't.

[Husband]

It was basically, they were like, hey, here's a bunch of stupid ways to die.

[Wife]

What year was it?

[Husband]

Okay. Yep. No, that's. Fair point. Fair point. It was during your gutter time.

[Wife]

I was busy living that experience.

[Husband]

I think you were sliving during that time.

[Wife]

I was trying to figure out many ways to die.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

So what her followers would do. So what happened was this is how she builds up her platform. This is how she builds up her followers. Based on what I saw.

[Husband]

I do remember one. I remember one in particular was there. Which. Which they still sell, but they aren't as popular anymore. On Cribs, there are these bumpers that you can put around the cribs because people are concerned that their child will whack their head on the crib, which they will. Well, I know because I listened to our kid do it all night, and big old dome on that kid. He's good. Okay. Anyway. But she was like, don't do that, because they can pull them off and they can suffocate.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

And so I was like, oh, okay. And I think that's, like, all I saw of her.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And then the next thing I knew, like, six months later, everyone was like, don't even mention her name.

[Wife]

Yeah. Well, here's what would happen is her followers became very culty, very obsessed with her opinions about things.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Because she tapped into this mom fear, and mom fear runs a certain sector of the Internet.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

The fear about children's safety and the fear about being a good mom. Dude, that's a whole algorithm.

[Husband]

I remember the day you dismantled our brezza. I remember the day you dismantled it.

[Wife]

Anyway, okay, so what her followers would do is if they saw a TikTok, let's say they're on their. They're on their scrolling TikTok, and they see somebody doing some dumb shit with a kid online, like, let's say trampoline, jumping into a pool. Something I have done myself. Her followers would tag her in the comments. So hundreds and hundreds of comments of people tagging Lauren the mortician. But next to her name, they would write Beetlejuice. So I'd be like, beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. AKA calling Lauren the mortician. Got it to this tick tock because they wanted her to respond to it or call it out or give a suggestion. Something like that. Right.

[Husband]

And not my favorite type of content.

[Wife]

Not my favorite type of content. Also, my first thought always is Beetlejuice is the bad guy.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

When. When you're calling Beetlejuice, you're not supposed to say his name because he is the bad guy.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

The hero. The. The hero of the movie is Delia Deetz, first and foremost. And Geena Davis's iconic jawline. Those are the two heroes of the Beetlejuice movie. It's not Beetlejuice.

[Husband]

Yeah. And Alec Baldwin.

[Wife]

No. Nope.

[Husband]

No Alec Baldwin.

[Wife]

Nope.

[Husband]

Let's go. You want. You want to talk about season one. I know, but. But real quick.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

The thing is that gets me is now people say Beetlejuice. If you say Beetlejuice three times, you shove. But, like, before, it was Bloody Mary. Yeah, like, what happened to Bloody Mary? I. Do kids even play it anymore? I don't think they do because they don't. They don't understand their deep, intrinsic Catholic bias.

[Wife]

But it's, like, about Mary Queen of Scots.

[Husband]

Yeah. You want to talk Mary Queen of Scots.

[Wife]

Mary Queen of Scots.

[Husband]

Actually, no, Bloody Mary is the worst. Bloody Mary was Elizabeth's half sister.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Who was married to the king of Spain who was just murdering Protestants across England.

[Wife]

A great reminder that this is a comedy podcast.

[Husband]

A comedy history.

[Wife]

A comedy history podcast.

[Husband]

Get in the comments on YouTube and write what a great comedy history podcast.

[Wife]

We. We don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, this is just a comedy history podcast.

[Husband]

Hey, what's your degree in?

[Wife]

Paralegal sciences.

[Husband]

From where?

[Wife]

Community College of Philadelphia.

[Husband]

Baby, ask me what my degree is from.

[Wife]

What's your degree in?

[Husband]

My general studies from Delco Community College.

[Wife]

Okay, and what'd you get as a Graduation gift.

[Husband]

Fireball and Jagermeister.

[Wife]

I thought you're gonna say a tap out hat.

[Husband]

Oh, no, no, that was my old joke. Yeah, no, it was. It was a no Fear shirt and a tap out hat. That was what I wore to graduation that I didn't go to.

[Wife]

So she also used to do these things, Lauren the magician, she used to do TikToks called the morbid Minute, which were. And then she made Morbid Minute reviews, which is actually, I'm gonna say maybe in my opinion, a little bit of thievery, because there's this other mortician on YouTube, her YouTube, her name is Caitlyn. I like her. Her vibes are good. She does a thing called the Morbid Minute. So I feel like one mortician might have stolen a little mortician idea. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. In my opinion.

[Husband]

In your opinion. What I will say though is, is I would just go back to the call outside of it.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And because there's a lot of accounts that grow based on the call out culture, on calling out random people on Tick Toc. Never like that. For one reason, because number one, you end up leading a mob.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

And number two, from a longer term standpoint is you inevitably will have your account destroyed.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Because. And I know, listen, there's a bunch of different people. Some of them are really good, some of them are not so good, but it's just a thing that happens where you build up going after these random people. And I'm not in. Like, it's not necessarily you're punching up or punching down or punching across. You're just seeing randos and then you're saying, look at this person. And you're also end up platforming them in a weird way. And so it becomes a symbiotic relationship. So, like, as I've seen, as we talked about with the locale episodes and others, once you start getting into that type of content, it becomes addictive, both for your followers and for your subscribers and all these different things. But also it becomes addictive for you. So you stop as a content creator thinking of like, oh, I have this great idea. I want to make this. And instead you start trolling and you start looking, you start hunting for these things, and then before you know it, a lot of these content, I'm not saying Lauren herself did this. Other content creators who I've seen, they end up building up Discord servers, they end up building up communities where they end up, which is where this stuff spreads out From. And then there ends up becoming these like attack brigades that start running around looking for these things. And so it becomes this. It becomes this crusade in this weird way that almost inevitably gets away from you.

[Wife]

Yeah, absolutely. You can't control it.

[Husband]

No.

[Wife]

So in one of her morbid minute reviews, she made a video promoting this new product that is going to help parents. And basically it's like a shield for the bathtub. And it's kind of like an accordion curtain. Right. Like, you know, the. Not blinds, but like the ones that are just accordions. Picture that where it's just like fabric.

[Husband]

Oh. Like it's a single piece.

[Wife]

A single piece. So there's. It's called the splash Zen and some parents invented it. And basically it's a plastic curtain thing you put on the ledge of the bathtub so when the kids splash, it doesn't get water everywhere.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Right. So she made a morbid minute review reviewing this product to keep your bathroom from getting too slippery. Right. You don't want your bathroom to be too slippery.

[Husband]

Put it back down.

[Wife]

Well, so she makes this video, maybe a collab. She says she wasn't paid for the post. So we'll say. We'll say she wasn't paid for the post. But she did get an affiliate link and she stated that any money that she made off of the affiliate link she would be donating to another mom and need on TikTok. And there was this mom she linked to her. She has a very tragic story in the video. She reviewed it using this big vintage looking doll. Like a doll in like a little Victorian dress. Like, like, looks like a haunted doll.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

So she puts the doll in the bathtub and she shows the thing and she's like, see how great it works? This is going to be great. And you kind of see through it. It's got like a. Almost like a frosted glass look. And as I was watching it, I was like, that's not how babies in bathtubs work. Like, you need a wiggly wet seal trying to hit their head on purpose, crying, and then slamming their face in the water and almost drowning themselves. Because don't forget.

[Husband]

Don't forget just randomly biting the wall.

[Wife]

Yeah. And standing up and peeing.

[Husband]

Yeah. Don't forget pooping.

[Wife]

Don't forget pooping.

[Husband]

Oh, my God. I got tagged in a video the couple days ago REM. Like, I made a video on TikTok a while ago just to tell people. Like, I don't know who said it. Just, your kid's gonna poop in the Tub at some point. Get over it. Just accept that fate now.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And I made that video like, six, eight months ago.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Somebody replied to the video and just said, yeah, okay, I was ready for that. Not twice in the same bath. And I was like, whoa.

[Wife]

So she does this review with a doll, and she's like, it totally works, and blah, blah. And people in the comments and stuff started saying that, like, oh, this splash Zen thing is Lauren the mortician approved. Right. But, like, in my mind, number one, you don't have a wiggly upset baby.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And you. If there was an issue, if the baby got underwater, if something bad happened, they bumped their head. You have to then remove the shield and get in there. And that's at least one more second you're not just jumping in to help.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And like, it's also kind of like.

[Husband]

Or if you panic, you knock it over onto the kid. Now you're trying to pull it off the kid.

[Wife]

Some people might panic. Yeah.

[Husband]

Okay, well, you did that. You pointed at me in a way of like, yeah, some people might like, I'm gonna be the one to panic.

[Wife]

Some people.

[Husband]

I'm very calm.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

I'm very calm during emergencies.

[Wife]

During emergencies, you're super calm.

[Husband]

Yeah. You're the one who's losing their mind and screaming and then yells, I never should have quit smoking.

[Wife]

Yeah, that's you. That's me.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

For sure. Yep. We using the allegedly button on ourselves.

[Husband]

I'm not getting sued by you. I'm not gonna make a simple joke and then have that come up during our divorce procedures.

[Wife]

We're doing procedures. We're filing at the edge of the state, baby. So there. So then what happens is, like, she does this thing and people, like, the comment section starts to be like, who are you to make this review? This doesn't actually align with what you say about children's safety.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

That's a doll, not a baby you had. She has kids.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Why not use the kids? But okay, whatever. So the people on the Internet are like, what are your credentials? And some people notice that she starts talking a lot about child more mortality. But in her TikTok videos, they were saying that she doesn't have a fence around her pool. And so, like, what's your level of expertise if you don't even have a fence around your pool?

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And I think as of current day, she does now have a fence around a pool. I think she got bullied in the comments a lot. I don't know. From what I was reading, it seemed like There was no fence around the pool. And then a lot of comments were like, hey, if you're going to be a child safety advocate.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

You should know that you should have a fence around your pool.

[Husband]

You should always have. The thing is, you should have a fence around your pool even if you don't have kids.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Because other people, like, other kids can go like just crawl under your pool.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Like, I know that that was a big thing for my mom. And when, when they moved to where they finally, when I was growing up, they looked at like three houses. One had a pool, one had a bigger yard, and then one was like more in a town.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And my mom didn't like the one that was more like in like a little town. And she was debating between the other two, the one with the bigger yard and the one with the pool. And she was like an in ground pool, mind you. I know that's important for you.

[Wife]

Wow.

[Husband]

That needs to be stated like rich. Yeah.

[Wife]

Mrs. P. That sound effect was perfect.

[Husband]

That was amazing. Yeah. Perfectly time windows telling me to update. Go to hell.

[Wife]

Go.

[Husband]

Shut up. But she. My sister was about to be born and my mom was like just. All she could picture was just one of the kids walking right out into the pool or a neighbor kid. And I remember as I got older, I was like, why do you always think. And she was like, because she's like, I as growing up and then as an adult, especially in the 80s, she knew of like two different news stories in the 80s of like some random kid just like falling into a pool. Because people also didn't used to have as many fences.

[Wife]

I'll tell you this much.

[Husband]

People used to. Just growing up.

[Wife]

I didn't. Nobody and I knew fell into a pool because we had what above ground pools. And you can't fall into them so easily, but you can climb up to the second story back window of somebody's house and jump out their window into the pool. And then everybody on the block is going to get really mad because apparently that's bad. And there was no one on TikTok to tell my parents that was a bad idea.

[Husband]

Yep. Jumping out of the second floor window into an above ground pool is Mrs. P. Mortician approved.

[Wife]

Don't do it.

[Husband]

Mrs. P. Says climb up to the second floor, jump out the window. Like Bart Simpson in that one episode of the Simpsons where they have an above ground pool and he breaks his leg. And it's actually a rear window motif.

[Wife]

I was gonna say actually one of the kids on the block, Scotty like shattered his foot.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Don't do it. Yeah, don't listen to me.

[Husband]

Jumping off of high things about this story. Jumping off of high things, very tall things.

[Wife]

That is a story I made up.

[Husband]

Is okay. Jumping off of very tall things is the line of when you, when your brain finishes.

[Wife]

Got it?

[Husband]

Because for me, I'll never forget when I was. I think I was 20, I was just off my. Kicked off my parents health insurance. And I was on a tree over a river and my buddy was like, oh, jump off. And he jumped off into the river. And he was very. My buddy was really short. He was like five. Five, I think. And he jumps in the water. He's like, it's great. And I'm like looking at it. And I had just lost my health insurance.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

I had just gotten too old for my health insurance. Got kicked off my parents. I literally have like suddenly very well aware, I'm 14ft above a river on a tree branch and I'm like, I'm gonna crawl down. All of a sudden I hear this voice go, you do it, pussy. Jump, you fucking pussy. And I'm like, that's not my internal monologue. I know my internal monologue. It is much whinier and it's much more Jewish. This sounds very 12 year old. And I turn and there's a line of 12 year olds waiting to jump off this tree. And I said, you crawl down, you're all covered on S chip. I know you all have state covered health insurance at the minimum. Get out of the tree. And I climbed down off the tree. I had to do it slow too, because if you climb down a tree, especially one that's over a river, you have to like hug it and shoot. Shuffle slowly. So I shuffle slowly off this tree. I get down to the bottom, I go into this small. It's the Brandywine River.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

I get in this small part of the river and let me tell you something.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

It's only four feet deep.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And it's heavy rocks underneath. I would have shattered both of my legs. And I'm looking at my buddy, I was like, you're trying to get me killed. He's like, it would have been fine if you just, you know, if you cannonballed. I was like, no, wack. I'm. I'm 40 pounds heavier than you. I'm a foot taller. And I was just screaming at him and. But that was the moment I was like, I'm an adult now because I won't jump off of big trees.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Oh, the body of water will save me. No, it won't. I watched 1001 Ways to Die on Spike TV. It's called a callback.

[Wife]

So then here's this other thing.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Okay. So the Internet sleuths, as they do because people are starting to question her credentials. Other call out TikTok creators are making content about her, right?

[Husband]

About who?

[Wife]

Lauren the mortician. Okay, so she, the thing is she's from a small town, right? So she's from a small town.

[Husband]

She's just a small town girl.

[Wife]

And she got her license in 2017.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

And after she got her license, she had kids and I guess when her second child was born, she decided to be a stay at home mom. So allegedly she was only working as an active mortician for, for maximum two years. So people are like, how does she have hundreds of stories? She's in a small town, it was only two years of service. Like, and also the other thing that there are other medical professionals that work in the death industry, if you will, that are like, you're not a coroner. You wouldn't have access to this stuff. Right, because morticians don't do autopsies. She would likely not have firsthand knowledge of medical procedures and requirements. So she could potentially have given, have gotten some of the information from the autopsy team, maybe if they release the body to her and there was a copy of the death certificate. But most morticians, it's on a state to state basis, don't have access to reports and case files like that. So like, does she have expertise to give advice on social media? Are these stories all hers? Because again, a small town isn't seeing Philadelphia, New York City, volume of people dying, let alone a volume of children dying. That was a lot, a lot of people were saying is like, you know, as a mortician in my small town, only two children pass away a year. So why does she have this many stories?

[Husband]

Oh, that's because she lives in Oopsieville, Virginia, the capital of the most oopsie daisies known to America.

[Wife]

So yeah, that people start looking at this, the credentials, they start questioning her about and she's like, they're like she's not currently employed. I don't know. People are like, I don't know if I personally trust her opinion. And my opinion personally is that I wouldn't trust her opinion about these things. And then she starts talking about car seats and I think we should take a break there.

[Husband]

I think that is a perfect place to take a break if you get hit by this next ad. That means that you are not please.

[Wife]

Listen to it because we're going to need legal fees.

[Husband]

But also you can always skip the ads by joining us over on our Patreon.

[Wife]

The money from Patreon we use to pay for our legal fees and legal counsel.

[Husband]

We'll be right back after this.

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[Husband]

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[Wife]

So she starts talking about car seats and which ones are safe and which one she trusts and she's like doing car seat reviews kind of. And then she makes a a TikTok of her throwing a car seat into a pool to see if it floats.

[Husband]

That's not what.

[Wife]

I don't know. It was part of the review. Does it float if your baby's in it and it falls into the water? Okay, so people are, you know, still watching this and people like it. It's getting lots of views, lots of likes. Some people are still like, I don't know why you're doing this, but okay. So now people are typing Beetlejuice under all kinds of videos to see if Lauren the mortician approves of what she's witnessing. And there are a lot of videos about moms asking about how to install car seats or if this is a good car seat, blah, blah. And I guess there was this one video where somebody was doing a car seat, but it didn't look like ours. It didn't have like a chest plate thing.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And she made a response video being like, this is blah, blah. This isn't good. And people are like, oh, that's actually a European car seat. They're in Europe. They have different laws there.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Something you might know if you. This was actually.

[Husband]

They also have different car safety standards.

[Wife]

Expertise real quick though. Yeah.

[Husband]

Just about car seats in general. For anyone out there wondering if you want to find out if a car seat is safe, contact your local fire department. Every single. Or if you're trying to figure out how to install a car seat, contact your local fire department. Almost every fire department and even some police departments have areas where they will show you or teach you how to install because they would rather have the car seat installed correctly then have to go put your kid in the ambulance later. Yeah, that's like. That's a service that is almost nationwide across the United States. Unless Doge cut it this week. I don't know.

[Wife]

So. So then gonna skip what I was gonna say. So basically there's this other tick tocker named Jamie Grayson and he is actually a dual certified child passenger safety training tech. That's what the fire department gets est. Yeah, they get the training. So that many local fire departments, you can hire these people independently. There's, you know, people get this training and this guy, Jamie Grayson, is a baby gear Expert. He has 20 years of experience the industry and he makes tiktoks about car seats and strollers and all this stuff. This is his whole thing. He's been doing this for decades. Got it right. And he's a mutual with Lauren, the mortician on TikTok. And after witnessing her car seat stuff, he makes a video calling her out. And he's not mean. He's not mean. He's a little sassy. I'll say that he's a little biting, but he's not mean.

[Husband]

I. Okay. Now that I know that this is mutual on mutual drama. Yeah, y'all on Tick Tock. Mutual on. Mutual drama is. It always goes devious every time I send the screenshots. DJ Soul Child's gonna get the.

[Wife]

DJ Soul Child is not in this episode.

[Husband]

DJ Soul Child's gonna get involved. No, hold on. Can I. I just want to say this, which is just in my. In my personal opinion, if you are about to. If you're ever on Tick Tock and you're ever getting anywhere with it or anything, you're about to have mutual and mutual drama. Just block and move on with your life. Just block and move on with your life. Just.

[Wife]

No, thank you.

[Husband]

Block and move on.

[Wife]

No, thank you.

[Husband]

Yeah, no. Friends only post.

[Wife]

So he makes a video. Kind of being like, you don't have certification or enough knowledge about this. Please stop muddying the water with misinformation. Right? He's. He's nice enough about it. So she gets butt hurt about this. The call out. She, like, responds in the comments. You know how they do. They end up, I think, blocking each other or she locks him, whatever. She goes on Bunny's podcast. You know, Bunny is. That's Jelly Roll's wife. She's the worst. Wait, I'm not going to get into it. We don't have time to get into it. She talks. They talk with each other. I love that on this podcast. I'm not going to let you interrupt me about this.

[Husband]

I need to.

[Wife]

I. She's not. I'm not going to. And so Laura the mortician says, but.

[Husband]

As Jelly Rolls Wife, you just let that sentence exist and you're like, you moving on.

[Wife]

And basically, she says, I'm a mom. I inherently know more about this car seat situation and childcare than a man. How dare he online bully me? And so then she and Bunny make jokes about him being effeminate and this job certification and why does he want to work with kids if he doesn't have kids? And it was all just so very like, you know, I guess only women deal with children and therefore should be the only person knowledgeable about children because they're both choking on internalized patriarchy. Like, you know what I mean? Like, they can't fathom that men would be involved in the child rearing thing. Like, and let alone that, like, you wouldn't need to have kids to want to be certified to help kids is such a crazy fucking take from these two. Anyway, Lauren the mortician then gets on her Facebook page. Hold on, let me click this link so I can pull it up. And she writes, this is a Facebook Post honest question, would you take baby product advice that's in all caps from a man who has no children, who has 12 to 15 strollers inside their living room and also attempts to give baby wearing product recommendations, car seat recs and highchair recommendations to actual mothers. You know, just wondering hypothetically. And all because I sure as fuck wouldn't. Especially when they link these products conveniently in their bio for you to purchase. So they make commissions and gain financially from that, never having used the product with a physical baby on a day to day basis. Nah, me neither. Just checking. Well, okay, so I hate this. This is a really kind of painting him in a really negative light. Like why does this man have baby products in his house?

[Husband]

She's trying to. Pedo jacket.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

She's trying. She's 100 trying to put the pedophile jacket wrap it around his shoulders without ever saying his name.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And without ever directly saying.

[Wife]

Exactly.

[Husband]

This is why. Why would a man, why would a man have action figures in his home?

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

You know what I mean? Like that level of stuff.

[Wife]

He has his job.

[Husband]

His job is strollers.

[Wife]

You know why?

[Husband]

Okay. His job is strollers.

[Wife]

There are men obgyns. There are men that give, that help give birth to children every day in hospitals. Like, what are you talking about?

[Husband]

They're male teachers. There's so many different things. But this is also one of those things where it not only pigeonholes is she is gatekeeping men outside of the child rearing.

[Wife]

Also I do need to state, I believe he is. He identifies as gay.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

So again, this whole. Like a gay man because they're calling him effeminate. And so it's a really. It's fucked up.

[Husband]

Also, she is getting, in my opinion also. But also she's getting the lightest pushback and she went zero to. You're a pedophile.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

So how much of a Trump supporter is she?

[Wife]

A big one. Okay, so then.

[Husband]

I knew it. I just knew it. I knew it.

[Wife]

Yeah. So I mean, she was on Bunny's podcast, the wife of Jelly Roll.

[Husband]

Oh, yeah, no, Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll, who has said famously that he is not political because he is a felon and he can't vote. He just, he just only hangs. Okay, that's fine. It's all right.

[Wife]

Okay.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

So then thousands of people that follow her and maybe a lawyer make lots and lots of reports against this guy's account and he gets banned.

[Husband]

From what? From TikTok.

[Wife]

He got his account banned.

[Husband]

Hmm.

[Wife]

Because they started reporting everything. He put up office Informational videos and tutorials got reported.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Along with the videos he had made about her. And so this whole time after he gets banned, he makes a new account, obviously. But she starts making videos kind of in the most mean spirited joking about going and getting the certification. So she does, she goes and gets it and then starts making videos about like how to like do car seats properly. And she's like. And it wasn't that hard. So like I don't know what the big deal is because now I'm certified. Like, she is one of those people that like makes the for the haters videos. You know those people. So like all of her videos are her like raging against the haters and then all her comments are like sick of fancy. Like you're showing them. Ba ba ba.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And it's like most people that go get certifications like that do it because in their heart they want to help people.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Like when I spent hours getting Narcan certified, it's because I wanted to be able to carry Narcan with me and properly utilize it if necessary.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Not cuz I wanted to show someone like go, oh, how hard is it? No, it was only a couple hours. But you know what? I did it because it was important.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Like her getting certified to help kids out of spite is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

It's.

[Husband]

It's such a wild thing. But it's also again, she's checking off of like. Well, now you can't complain about that. Shut up.

[Wife]

Yeah, now you can't complain about that.

[Husband]

It's very. Shut up about egg prices.

[Wife]

Oh, bae, I just got back from the grocery store. Oh, you don't want to get me started on egg prices because we ain't eating eggs anymore. Bob's Red Mill makes a great egg replacer for baking. Hey, listen, so it's vegan egg replacer. If you're making cookies or cake or something, use the Bob's Red Mill egg replacer. Don't. Usual eggs.

[Husband]

Yeah. And we don't. And guess what? Guess what? We don't have an affiliate link to that.

[Wife]

Nope. So it's. We should BOB reach out.

[Husband]

Hey, we know you listened once.

[Wife]

You sent us a hat. I was way more than that.

[Husband]

I know.

[Wife]

I got the influencer tag. So at some time this. Around the same time, another creator whose name is Caffeinated Kitty makes a post letting people know. It was like TikTok post. And she's like, hey, I just want to state that Lauren the mortician and I are not the same person. Apparently this Kitty Gal, her followers also write Beetlejuice in the comments, but they do it in the comments of men being rancid videos. So like alpha male guys.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

They'll be like beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. And then this girl comes in and makes like, fuck these dudes posts.

[Husband]

Yeah, yeah.

[Wife]

Which is wonderful. Good on it. Right.

[Husband]

So also in all these type of call out videos, I never see the originals.

[Wife]

No.

[Husband]

I only ever see the call outs. So again, all you're doing is you're dragging their content into my feed. All right, go ahead.

[Wife]

So Lauren the mortician makes a snide response to Kitty. Right. And it was like really rude or whatever. And then Kitty makes another response video. Because again, these are, these are call out people. So call out people be calling each other out. So it's not like she's gonna sit back, she's gonna make video.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Because content. So she makes this video. And apparently allegedly, in my opinion, I'm getting strong on that right now. Story I made up. Allegedly Kitty had gone through Lauren the mortician's Instagram and noticed some suspicious follows. And by that I mean she said, look at all these Trump adjacent people. She follows. Oh, okay. And then in that she found some. What some might suggest is terfy content.

[Husband]

Trans exclusionary, radical feminist.

[Wife]

Yes. Turfy content.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

And she used her thoughts and pulled all these videos that Lauren liked and commented on, or I don't know if she commented, but she liked them.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And she said, look, Lauren likes all this turf content. And so this woman insinuated that Lauren Mortician was a terf. And that was her opinion, not mine. I didn't say it. I didn't look.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

So that's what was being said.

[Husband]

And it's a she. So because there's a thing that's been happening on Tick Tock where a lot of especially Southern and Midwest creators who people thought were safe.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Turns out are Trump supporters.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Or at least completely comfortable with everything that Trump is doing.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

In a certain way.

[Wife]

And it's not going to affect them.

[Husband]

Because it's not going to affect them Yet. Yet. But they also don't take into account how many members of the communities that are being affected follow them and like them.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And they don't care because they don't view, they don't view their followers as people.

[Wife]

Now that is if she is. I don't know. We don't know. We're not saying she is. Who knows? So Moving past it.

[Husband]

Yeah. And we're not talking about Mama Todd.

[Wife]

Oh. Oh, Yo, TikTok dramas.

[Husband]

I don't know these people. I know who Jelly Roll is. I never consented to knowing who Jelly Roll is. I want to just state that for the world. I never wanted to know who Jelly Roll is.

[Wife]

So after this other one goes down, she gets a strike on her videos. YouTube videos.

[Husband]

This kitty gal, Kitty, gets a strike.

[Wife]

Kitty gets a strike sent from this IP attorney that represents Lauren the mortician. And they copyright strike Kitty's videos and send her a cease and desist order demanding apologies and retraction or there's going to be fines and blah, blah, blah. So Kitty makes a video mocking the cease and desist order.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

As one does.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And both Lauren the mortician and the IP lawyer call Kitty's local police department and get a welfare check sent to her house. And the police show up, which is a clear intimidation tactic, in my opinion. It's like the. The passive aggressive version of a swat.

[Husband]

Yeah, that's a passive aggressive swatting.

[Wife]

Yeah, it's a white woman swat.

[Husband]

That is crazy.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Wait, was it confirmed that they did that?

[Wife]

You know what? It was confirmed in the way that I listened to the audio of them calling the police. There's audio of both of them calling the police. Like, because it's all recorded.

[Husband]

Both the lawyer and the mortician.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

And as far as I could tell, that was their voices. I don't know. It could be, but this is what was said.

[Husband]

That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. People stuff all over again. All over a back and forth drama.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Which all you have to do is block and. And all you have to do is block and move on. And they go to another drama.

[Wife]

Yep.

[Husband]

That's how all of these things, especially on drama. Tick tock.

[Wife]

Okay, so this is gonna escalate really quickly here.

[Husband]

I can tell.

[Wife]

So this IP attorney were. Her name is Jeanette. A lot of people online call her Janet because she doesn't like it when people call her Janet. So they call her Janet.

[Husband]

Damn it. Janet David.

[Wife]

Janet. So she's the IP attorney. And Lauren, they end up filing a lawsuit against four creators. Kitty, another drama channel called Becca Day, and two gals from a podcast called the Do We Know Them? Podcast Lily and Jesse. And they sued them as kind of a group for defamation and copyright claims. And it's interesting because Lauren and the attorney who is representing them, the attorney's also in there as a plaintiff. The lawyer's also suing Wait, that means.

[Husband]

The lawyer is representing herself, which means when you represent yourself, you have a fool as a client. I know this.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

So, wait, you said also, they sued a podcast?

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Hi, everybody. If you haven't joined our [e-mail] we might need legal fees. We may need help.

[Wife]

So because of this, the podcast girlies. Because the podcast girlies had talked about Lauren the retician and the IP's lawyers, Tomfoolery, in their opinion, all four of them started. All four of the defendants, Becca, Kitty, and the podcast gals started to go fund me, and they raised over $60,000 for legal fee so they could file a countersuit and kind of go against what was happening.

[Husband]

Right.

[Wife]

Okay. Because this is. They're saying it's copyright. They're saying this is defamation. This is copyright. That's why they're being sued.

[Husband]

Right. Okay.

[Wife]

Long story short, a year of little litigation, lots of stuff. I need to say this. In my opinion, the IP lawyer, intellectual property lawyer, is very bad at her job, in my opinion, as a pseudo legal professional who went to community college for paralegal studies. Now, almost all of these claims that were filed, these lawsuits and claims have been dropped, thrown out, or dismissed. With prejudice.

[Husband]

With prejudice, yes. Oh.

[Wife]

So in my opinion, this is embarrassing for an IP lawyer because you're supposed to specialize in IP law, which is copyright law, which is fair use law, which is all the things that we're talking about when we're like, oh, we're allegedly. It's our opinion. We're using a little clip from this. We're showing a little picture of that. Yeah, that. That's all covered in this.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And this is her specialty. This. When you go to her website, this is what she gets paid for. And they lost basically everything except for one at this point. So a case about fair use, copyright, she loses a lot of this stuff. So she files. Okay, hold on. I'm sorry. I went ahead of myself. I got too excited.

[Husband]

You got too excited? You got too excited? Because you love to tell. You love to say a lawyer sucks at their job. Nothing makes you happier than saying I Lip. Babe.

[Wife]

What?

[Husband]

Look at me right now. Look at me right now. Yeah, your eyes. Your eyes lit up when you were like, in my opinion, she's bad at her job. You looked me deep through my soul. Because with the years that you worked with lawyers and the lawyers that you've met throughout your life, when they think, not even think. When they know they're good, they are on their Shit. And you can't stop them.

[Wife]

No.

[Husband]

But when they think they're good and they're about to lose in a way that is so predictable.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

The Shade and Freud. Oh, it feels so good. And there. I can't tell you all how many times when Mrs. P would watch a lazy lawyer do something and then she would come back and she'd be like, listen, it's gonna happen tomorrow. They lose. And it'll be six weeks because they don't lose quick either. That's the thing about a shit lawyer. They don't lose quick because law isn't fast. Law is so slow. Which is half the reason we're in the trouble we're in.

[Wife]

Yeah, law slow.

[Husband]

Law is slow.

[Wife]

Here's the thing. Out of all these cases, there's one case about fair use and copyright that she filed against the podcast gals specifically. Right?

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Now these two women from their podcast are self, self representing in this specific case. So they have a lawyer with the four girls. And then in this situation with this copyright claim, they are self representing, which means they don't have legal counsel, they're just filing this paperwork themselves.

[Husband]

Got it?

[Wife]

Okay. Against an IP lawyer. Now this, this case gets dismissed with pet prejudice. Okay, with prejudice means that you're not allowed to like, refile and like, ask for it to go, like, to be like, looked at again. It really means, like, no. Like, it just means no.

[Husband]

This is an NFL player losing to someone who is, has never even played Madden.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

This is just someone being like, okay, wait, what do I have to do? So I, if I check this box, I tell her to go fuck herself. Yeah, check that box. Okay. Your honor, I check the box. Yeah, that's the fucking right box.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

So go fuck yourself.

[Wife]

Because of the prejudice in the dismissal, she can't, the IP lawyer can't file an appeal. Right. But she can do what's called a request for reconsideration. And this is a hail Mary. This is a real last chance wild card move. Inherently, when you request a reconsideration, though, what you're sort of kind of saying, in my opinion, is for the lawyers and the judges to relook at it because you're saying they missed something. Right? You're not saying like, I have new evidence or Bubba, you're kind of being like, I need you to review it because I feel like you did something. Or sometimes a request for reconsideration could be like, the Supreme Court just made a ruling while we were doing this in the last year and we need to reassess based on that ruling. Whatever. So you. So, like, here's the thing. What happens is she files for this request for reconsideration, and they get back to her. The. What's it called? The Copyright Claims Board gets back to her, and they're like, okay, we have a response for your reconsideration. And this reconsideration is fucking scathing. It is insane. I printed it out, I highlighted my favorite parts, and when we get back from our break, I just want to read you my favorite parts of this scathing fucking essay of this request for reconsideration against this lawyer who specializes in IP law. Because if there's nothing that brings me more joy than reading legalese from lawyers where they're just talking mad shit in the most funny way possible. And I just. When we come back from the ads where I need you to listen because we're probably going to need money for a lawsuit.

[Husband]

Guys. We'll be right back after this.

[Wife]

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[Wife]

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[Wife]

Okay, so we're back and we're no longer talking about Lauren the mortician. We're done. Who cares? I don't care. I want to talk about this IP lawyer that she hired to represent her.

[Husband]

Damn it, Janet.

[Wife]

Damn it, Janet. Her name's Jeanette, okay? Don't mess it up.

[Husband]

Okay?

[Wife]

In this document, it's her name. In here is Braun ip, because that's the name of her law firm, Braun IP Law. Okay, so I'm just gonna read you some of my favorite highlights, okay?

[Husband]

Which you've literally highlighted.

[Wife]

Yes, I Did.

[Husband]

Can I just. Oh, yeah, just. Just so people can see. There's the document.

[Wife]

Yeah. So again, this is an order on for request of reconsideration. Now, here's something funny. Okay? When I went to download this document, it's the case details for Braun IP law versus Marston et al, Right? From the Copyright Claims Board. This is a government agency. And when she did this request. I'm sorry, Request for reconsideration. There's a note here on the docket that says, while respondents. That's the podcast gals. While the podcast gals have until April 2, 2025, to respond to the request for reconsideration, a response is not necessary. That's what it says on the docket. Before I even printed this out. Like, yeah, don't worry about it. They're telling the podcast gals, don't worry about it.

[Husband]

You're good.

[Wife]

You're the name of the podcast again. Do we know them?

[Husband]

Do we know them? And real quick, the Copyright Claims Board. Is this federal?

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

Okay, so this is a federal court.

[Wife]

Yes, it's a federal court.

[Husband]

Oh, but so Trump could do something.

[Wife]

Trump could do something. What he did do is probably close this whole sector down because the website keeps saying this website might not be available. So I had to print this out real quick.

[Husband]

It's gutter time.

[Wife]

It's gutter time.

[Husband]

It's gutter time. All right.

[Wife]

Claimant Braun IP Law initiated this copyright infringement claim against respondents Jessica and Lily on December 11, 2023. The copyright claims Board issued the final determination in this proceeding on January 31, 2025, finding that the respondents. And finding for the respondents and dismissing the claim with prejudice. As a review of the final determination reveals, this case was not even close.

[Husband]

Wait, what? Yeah, they said not even close.

[Wife]

Was not close. I'm sorry. It was not close.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

Respondents use. The work at issue was a textbook example of fair use. Many of the arguments made by claimant were utterly meritless, some to the point that they undermined the claimant's credibility. Moreover, the board did not take a cursory review of the work at issue or its use. They watched the work several times, detailed in the final determinations factual history section, which lays out the respondent's clearly transparent, transformative use of the work for criticism and commentary. So basically, we said what we said.

[Husband]

Yeah, we.

[Wife]

We didn't just watch the YouTube videos one time. We watched them multiple times.

[Husband]

The board.

[Wife]

Yeah, yeah. And this is undermining your credibility, Claimant IP lawyer. Okay.

[Husband]

Do you not know how to do your job is what they're saying.

[Wife]

Despite the detailed nature of our final determination, on March 2, 2025, the claimant filed a request for reconsideration of. Request for reconsideration of a final determination must identify a clear error of law or fact that was material to the outcome or technical mistake. Just as importantly, the request shall not merely repeat any oral or written argument made to the board as part of the proceeding, but shall be specific as to its purported error or technical mistake that the subject of request. Notwithstanding that rule, the request to simple. I'm sorry. The request is simply a 12 page brief rehashing the greatest hits of the party statements that the claimant filed in the written testimony phase. The board could simply deny the request on that basis. The arguments continue to. I'm sorry. The arguments continue to be meritless and no clear error of law or fact or technical mistake is presented. However, rather than merely denying the requests in a cursory order, the board will briefly rehash why the episode so obviously qualifies for fair use for educational purposes.

[Husband]

Okay, let me. Let me pause here for a second.

[Wife]

Go ahead. No, let's pause.

[Husband]

Okay. I want to point something out.

[Wife]

Go ahead.

[Husband]

You said that they. That they filed this request on March 2, 2025.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

Today is March 14, 2025. When did they publish this order for you?

[Wife]

I downloaded this on the seventh, three days later.

[Husband]

Okay. So it's a. Five days.

[Wife]

Five days.

[Husband]

Five days after. Damn it. Janet sent this in. They were like, fuck you. Here is how many pages? Six, seven pages of fuck you.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Like for a. For a fucking court.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

To be like, I'm going to spend the next five. We had norovirus for five days.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

This is. This is them just being like, I'm going to.

[Wife]

Not only that, they're saying, we could have denied this, but we want to educate you and your job and others. Yeah.

[Husband]

We're going to. We're literally writing. We're not only. We're doubling down on precedent and we're going to make this into a textbook case.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Of how not to be a dumb ass.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

In our opinion.

[Wife]

In our opinion. We don't know. I'm just reading this document I printed. What do I know?

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

So we're just going to quickly go over the factual history here for a detailed factual history, including the many ways in which the allegedly infringed worked. The episode. The episode is the episode of the podcast.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

That the claimant's work was to critique the final determination. Said that the video itself showed Jeanette Braun sitting at a desk recording on a computer, which is a generally factual, you know, image of what was being shown. And then the girl, basically the girls in the podcast pulled some of this video that the lawyer made and used it in their video. And they're like, we're acknowledging that. Right. The tea and drama referred to in the work was squarely in the wheelhouse of the respondents podcast. In the course of discussing the day Braun fight, the day Braun fight, that was last name Day, and then Braun the lawyer Braun's position related to the dispute, the respondents played a one minute clip from the eight and a half minute video and spent approximately an hour commenting and critiquing it, completely dismantling all of Braun's argument in the work, as well as expressing their displeasure with Braun's tactics on behalf of her clients. Respondents also discussed at length the concept of fair use and additionally argued that Braun engages in hypocrisy by sending takedown notices against instances of fair use and materially potentially not protected by copyright, even though she has previously educated the public in other videos she made about fair use analysis and how it should be used before sending takedown notices. Okay, so that's just the baseline.

[Husband]

So what they're saying right there is not only is this clearly fair use because they took one minute and they made in one hour of commentary around your one minute clip.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

But on top of that, they point out that in her other content she has explained how. What? The exact tactic she is using is stupid and will not work and is counter to exactly being an intellectual property lawyer or law.

[Wife]

Yeah, okay. Yep. Okay, let's move on.

[Husband]

Moving on.

[Wife]

Related to potential dam. Oh wait, no, that can't be right. Where did I leave off to? Yep. Okay, so here we go. Related to potential damages and market harm, Braun IP stated that it uses standard licensing agreements for videos it creates for which it charges $7,500 and attached to sample licensing agreements. It was unclear what types of videos the licenses cover and whether those videos were anything like the work that they're discussing. Although Braun IP now admits that the licenses were for a very different type of video as the work was an outlier to Braun's IP's typical material. So you have to claim damages. Okay. She has to say. The lawyer has to say, I lost money because of these gals, because these.

[Husband]

Gals said, I'm so bad at my job, now other people won't hire me.

[Wife]

Exactly.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

And so she claimed that the. She charges $7,500 for some licensing in her video, in different videos as a lawyer. But then she said, well, it's actually different types of videos, not these kind of videos.

[Husband]

Yeah. And also that it's rare.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

So she's like, I'm losing all this money that I made once, one time, one or two times, where I overcharged.

[Wife]

Somebody, probably because that's a lot of money, allegedly.

[Husband]

In your opinion?

[Wife]

In my opinion.

[Husband]

In your opinion. That's a lot for.

[Wife]

Because I'm broke.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

So rather than. Okay, next thing it says, rather than trying to identify specific. A specific clear error of law, the request is dedicated to re arguing the fair use principle, including the first, third and fourth factors. Again, it would be easy for the board to deny the request on that basis alone, since every point made by the claimant has already been made by her in her party statements. However, we will briefly explain the fair use factors again with the hope that Braun IP might change its tactics in the future.

[Husband]

Wow. Here's how bad you did that. We're going to go through each step of your argument and tell you how to do the opposite of this.

[Wife]

Yeah. Yep.

[Husband]

Number one, don't poop your pants.

[Wife]

As to the first factor, claimant misunderstands the esteem that critique and commentary explicitly call out in section 107 holds for fair use analysis. Braun IP argues that the commercial nature of the podcast outweighs the transformative use of the work. But the fact that the podcast was commercial carries little weight when the purpose of the use was to critique the claimant's work. As the Supreme Court has said, quote, the commercial or nonprofit educational purpose of a work is only one element of the factor for the purpose of the character. And if commerciality carries presumptive force against finding a fairness, the presumption would allow nearly all of the illustrative uses listed in the original paragraph, which includes news, reporting, comment, criticism, teaching, scholarship, and research, since these activities are generally conducted for profit in this country. So again, if your podcast makes money and you're making transformative content based on things you found on the Internet.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

That's covered in fair use, because that's.

[Husband]

Also like the entirety of not only our First Amendment, but also like how podcasting and the Internet works these days. Yeah.

[Wife]

And anything, really, basically, as long.

[Husband]

As long as you're not on the campus of Columbia University.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

You can. You can do whatever you want.

[Wife]

Yeah. I felt like I really needed to read that paragraph out loud. Yeah, I just needed to.

[Husband]

Yeah, no, no, I think. I think you nailed it.

[Wife]

So next, you Did a very good.

[Husband]

Job reading that paragraph out loud, by the way.

[Wife]

Thank you.

[Husband]

And digesting it.

[Wife]

Claimant quotes the. Oh, this is an incredible line. Okay, okay. Further down the paragraph, I'm skipping through a little bit here.

[Husband]

Claimant is Janet.

[Wife]

Janet quotes the syllabus and then they put in quotes as opposed to the actual decision, end quote line. I need you to know that if any of the attorneys I ever work for wrote the claimant quote the syllabus as opposed to the actual decision, I would have got fired. You're not allowed to pull from the Cliffs Notes, babes. Oh, so she went and went to like, Jude. Like she just went to one of the main law websites.

[Husband]

Right.

[Wife]

She pulled the summary of this case. Andy Warhol foundation for Visual Arts versus Goldsmith. Right, I know that.

[Husband]

Yeah, yeah.

[Wife]

That's huge case law for copyright.

[Husband]

Yeah, yeah, Right.

[Wife]

So that's a huge case law. And she didn't read it. She didn't pull from the actual notes. She read the summary and posted the summary as part of her argument. And that's what they're opening with. Claimant quotes the syllabus as opposed to the actual decision.

[Husband]

This is like discovering your lawyer use chat GPT.

[Wife]

Oh, crazy.

[Husband]

Which is the thing that's becoming a bigger problem.

[Wife]

I'm going to skip this whole paragraph and see how they close this paragraph. Ready? That's how they opened it.

[Husband]

Yes.

[Wife]

How they closed.

[Husband]

You quoted. Yeah, you quoted the summer. You quoted the fucking spark notes.

[Wife]

Yeah. And then they say, in short, respondents use was not merely transformative to some extent. It is precisely the type of highly transformative use that is fair even when it's done for profit. So Braun also raises a strange argument while citing the case findings. Fair use already cited by the board. Okay, that's how they open this next paragraph. I need. Okay. They're saying the lawyer raised a strange argument. That's a crazy thing for the board to say. Yeah. Her right now. While citing some of the cases that we cited as the reason. You're wrong. Do you hear what I'm saying?

[Husband]

Yes.

[Wife]

Legalese is so funny.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Oh my God. Okay, so it says Braun also raises a strange argument while citing some of the case findings. Fair use already cited by the board. That the episode recreated the work's creative expression as already stated by the board. Respondents use the one clip to accurately report on the story they were discussing to allow the viewers to understand the context of the story and their critiques of Braun and the specific content in the clip. The recreation argument is just a different way of stating Braun IPS meritless argument in prior written testimony that the clip was used for its original purpose, which was to provide Jeanette Braun side of an online dispute between her and another online creator. Oh, my God. She like, this is getting read to filth. I need, like, I wish just. It's. What's. Who's the one that puts their glasses on upside down and then reads reb for the rebrand when she does, like, the court.

[Husband]

Yeah. Court. Court. Yeah.

[Wife]

It's like this. But this is lawyers fighting. This is lawyers fighting. And it's so funny. They're basically just like, you're. This is a strange argument because we proved you were wrong by using this argument.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And. Oh. As stated in the final.

[Husband]

Again, the podcast gals checked a box. I just want to point that out. The actual property who are not intellectual property lawyers who don't really probably understand copyright that deep.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Who are just people.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Who have a podcast like us.

[Wife]

Yeah. They talk about Internet drama stuff.

[Husband]

Yeah. They do Internet drama.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And they sit across to. Across from each other and they yap. And then this fucking lawyers, like, my whole job says, fuck you and I'm gonna destroy you. And they're like, okay, I checked the box.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

What do you mean that works? What do you mean? UNO reverse works.

[Wife]

UNO reversed hard. As stated in the final determination, the use was for the opposite purpose of any possible creative expression in the work to go through a detailed critique of Braun's content and give reasons why Braun's side of the story did not hold water. There is no doubt that this falls into the category of criticism and therefore its fair use. Braun IP does not seem to have learned a basic lesson from the cases cited by the board. When one video is used to present a point of view and the second video uses the first to criticize the that position, the use is fundamentally at odds with the original of the first. Therefore, it's inherently transformative.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Again, calling her. They're like, you don't understand basic IP law. This is your job.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Oh, my God. On the third factor, the request is certainly no more than a rehashing of the claimant's prior argument rejected by the board. The heart of the work was taken. Braun IP does not dispute the board's finding that a small amount of the work was taken. Respondents only took one minute out of an 8 1/2 minute video, which amounts to approximately 11 to 12% of the work, and ended up being approximately 1 to 2% of their episode.

[Husband]

Okay, that's so crazy. They Went down the timestamps.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Also, I just love, I love this. I love this so much. I just love this so much.

[Wife]

Again, claimant only serves to undermine her own credibility by making such arguments.

[Husband]

Only, only a moron Trump supporter could pick somebody so bad at their job. In my opinion.

[Wife]

In my opinion.

[Husband]

In my opinion.

[Wife]

I don't know, they might be really good at their job. Now what the board is saying is that maybe they're not good at.

[Husband]

No, no, no, no. The federal government who. Listen, depending on the day, these people might not even have a job anymore.

[Wife]

Finally, the request fares no better as to factor four. Okay, what does that mean? Okay, those other paragraphs I was going for, they were reading through the four factors of why she's wrong, and they're going through why she doesn't even deserve to have this reconsideration. Because remember, they opened with, we don't even have to give you this reconsideration. We could deny it.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

But here are the four reasons you're wrong and we're going to tell you why. For educational purposes only, so you can be better at your job.

[Husband]

Number one, your shoes. Whack. Your hair. Whack. Your dress. Whack.

[Wife]

So to open, they're on the fourth fact.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And it says, finally, the request, again, the request for reconsideration. The request for reconsideration fares no better as to Factor 4. So again, they're saying even at Factor 4, we're not getting any better, babes. Yeah, this is all like. As an initial point, the request assumes that the board finding that the respondents use was transformative and used for criticism. And the commentary was incorrect. It was not. I'm gonna skip ahead. Regardless, as stated in the final determination and as not challenged by Braun IP in the request, Braun IP presented no meaningful evidence that the respondent's use of this work affected the market value of the work. And with this admission, the license braunip presented with its written testimony goes from practically meaningless to absolutely meaningless.

[Husband]

Damn. Damn.

[Wife]

Yo.

[Husband]

Whoever wrote this was on their shit. They were tired of her.

[Wife]

They were a year deep into this copyright and they're like practically meaningless. Absolutely meaningless. Okay, this is basically done. Respondents took a small portion of the work to criticize its content. Full stop.

[Husband]

They wrote full stop.

[Wife]

Yeah, full stop.

[Husband]

Oh my God.

[Wife]

All right, and the closing sentence here says, in sum, Brawn ip, which promotes itself as a law firm knowledgeable about and experienced in intellectual property law, has not presented any argument that would amount to an error of law or fact, never mind a Clear one or one material in the final determination. They call her an idiot. They close with your. They close with. You're supposed to be an IP lawyer.

[Husband]

You're supposed to be good at this.

[Wife]

This is your job. That's how they closed it.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

In sum, this lawyer, who promotes herself as knowledgeable about and experienced in intellectual property law, has not presented any argument that would amount to. To any error of this loss, which would give them a reconsideration. It's. This is the funniest thing in the world to me.

[Husband]

You told us you were good at cooking.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And then you instead turned on every sink in the house and flooded our basement. That's.

[Wife]

And now you're saying it's our fault.

[Husband]

Yeah. And then. And then you showed up and said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Let me. Let me show you. You. Let me show you how to. How to. How you're wrong.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And you handed us a bucket of water.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And said, I'll bail out the house.

[Wife]

I. Oh, God. I need you to know I started this episode. Here's what happened. Okay. We were gonna do an episode. Like, people had been suggested learning the mortician for a while.

[Husband]

A long time.

[Wife]

Long time. People been like, you got to talk about this.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

And I said since our podcast started.

[Husband]

Which is right around when this drama started.

[Wife]

Exactly. And I said to myself and to you, I'm not touching that until I know what the outcome is a little bit.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

I want to know where it goes, because, again, this is the type of law that affects what we do.

[Husband]

This is.

[Wife]

And so I didn't want to touch a hot coal until I saw if it was going to burn out or if it was going to start a fire. Right. I'm going to watch. I'm going to wait and watch. And so in the last few weeks, it's come out, all the cases are being dismissed. They're. They're losing their cases, blah, blah, blah. And so I was like, all right, I'm gonna start researching this. I'm gonna start looking into it. Now that I know it's a safe little place to talk about. A safe little place to play in, to talk about our opinions and tell jokes on our comedy history podcast, because we're not lawyers. We don't know the target.

[Husband]

And also now this is history. This is now legally history.

[Wife]

Legally history.

[Husband]

It's in the past.

[Wife]

It's in the past. So I started obviously researching about Lauren the mortician. But then I was like, she is just like every other Content creator that does her style of thing. Right. Like, it's. There's so many people online that pretend to be, you know, like, they pretend to be knowledgeable about things that they're not because they. They want to be part of a niche and people love them and follow them for whatever reason. And now, like, when I went and looked at her social media, she still has a lot of followers and she still does some content around this, but really, she does, like her weight loss journey. All of her affiliate links are for Zampis.

[Husband]

Okay.

[Wife]

So, like, if you. She has, like a website that she links through. She's an affiliate. So you can get like, she's, like.

[Husband]

Barely even touching on child safety now.

[Wife]

No. Yeah, she does. She sometimes talks about the mortician stuff.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Because the whole thing is she's a nepo baby mortician is her parents own a funeral home. Oh, no. I thought you're gonna hit the undertaker.

[Husband]

Oh, this one. Sorry, I don't know this. I'm. I'm triggered. I'm gonna let you know. Hold on real quick. I'm really triggered because I added a new button.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Okay. We have a lot of buttons over here. Right. I mean, we have this one.

[Wife]

It's a whole different vibe than this episode.

[Husband]

It's a much different vibe. We have this one ironically. Ironically, out of every episode that we've done.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Recently. This is the first episode in a very long time that I can hit. Don't do this button. Thanks. His name was Dust for all your music.

[Wife]

But no, check that. I didn't. That's. I didn't fact check that. I don't know.

[Husband]

Well, we didn't. No, no. The. No Nazi guarantee.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Is that we are guaranteeing that we aren't talking about it.

[Wife]

Oh, I see.

[Husband]

It's goes at the beginning of the episode as a stamp saying, hey, we're not going to talk about this episode. Because we had. Especially in season one, we had a string.

[Wife]

It just kept happening.

[Husband]

Just kept happening. Because we just kept doing stuff that was said in 1910-1933. But also. So in this case, I mean, the big thing for me as a content creator, as an influencer, depending on how you. How you want to look at me, is there's a lot in here where. Looking around at, I guess, my contemporaries.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Is I always notice one thing. None of these people have a Mrs. Pearl mania in their life.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Because if this had happened, if I had had a mutual fight like this and this had happened, Mrs. P's immediate response would have been, oh, just block that person and go talk about something else for a bit.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

That would have been Mrs. P's immediate response. I'll just go block that person and talk about something else for a little bit also. You know, maybe he's right. Like, you don't want to accidentally endorse a product and then maybe something happens to a kid.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

There's so many different layers and I think that person making. In my opinion, the person making that video probably has a little bit of that. You actually get mad at me sometimes because I have a bunch of mutuals on TikTok that eventually, you know, from going to Vidcon or going to these other different things. I have their phone numbers now, so sometimes we text and things like that. And you're constantly reminding me like, you don't know these people.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

You don't know what they're going through. You don't know what their day is. You don't know anything about them beyond the fact that you both make content. And then you had. You went out and had one drink.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

You don't know. They could have just thought they landed a DraftKings deal.

[Wife]

Yep.

[Husband]

And then instead now owe a lot of money to DraftKings and they'll do whatever. And that's the thing with like a lot of these. A lot of this different stuff, especially when it starts getting these conflicts. But the part that's I think, the most surprising to me. I mean, it is, but it isn't tick tock especially. But social media in general, there's a lot of us who were not. We have good personalities to get followings and we have. We know how to perform in a way that is entertaining and a good way to deliver information.

[Wife]

Yep.

[Husband]

Excuse me. To let a pure data.

[Wife]

Yep.

[Husband]

How that data is flexed, how that is presented, how that is formed and what the end goal of that is completely left and the entire system of it is completely left up to the whims of someone you have no idea of their backstory of.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

And you have no idea on anything else. So just keep that in mind even when you listen to me.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

That's the thing. We've always tried to write and we've always tried to warn our listeners about parasocial relationships. You don't know us.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

You really don't. You don't even know Mrs. P's face. I barely know it.

[Wife]

Really cool.

[Husband]

Some days I don't even know her hair color.

[Wife]

Well, that's a lot of days.

[Husband]

That's a lot. It's some days I look over and I'm like, ah, my beautiful blonde wife. She's a brunette now. I'll never find her at Costco.

[Wife]

Nope.

[Husband]

But, like, these are. There's. There's things that I think a lot of people take for granted. And in this case, what. When the Beetlejuice stuff started happening for Lauren the mortician, that's the thing that happened with me where a lot of people were like, I want you to call this thing out. I want you to. People tag me and stuff. And they. Or I'll get emails from. You'll be like, I want you to talk about this specific thing. And a lot of times I'm like, I don't have a expertise in that. And while I may be right in where my gut is leading me on this, I don't necessarily know if this is an area where I want to step into it. And so there's a lot of.

[Wife]

Also, there's a slippery slope of becoming an attack dog that I don't like. I don't like when people tag you specifically and, like, go get them, sick them. And I'm like, I don't want you. Because, like, that's what happens to these type of creators sometimes is they become attack dogs. Like, yeah, they'll be like, oh, we'll tag so and so, and then they will do and say something to get.

[Husband]

Them, and then we'll feel better, watch repercussions.

[Wife]

Yeah, we'll get the schadenfreude through that. But like that, if you're always someone's attack dog, people can put the dog down. You know what I mean? They get tired of that dog, that dog's gonna bite somebody.

[Husband]

But also, the people who are tagging are anonymous.

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

You end up as the creator in a parasocial relationship with your mob, which is what happens to a lot of these guys. I mean, going all the way back to PewDiePie and abuse a bunch of other YouTubers. PewDiePie, good for you. A lot of creators got pipelined by their biggest commenters. Not necessarily the biggest viewers, but their biggest commenters. And so they end up believing, oh, there's more Nazis, oh, there's more racists. Oh, people are more this way or this way, and it becomes a parasocial feedback loop. So that's another thing that I look at and I try to keep in mind. I mean, there's times, you know, especially now in gutter time, in the gutter times. In gutter times, there's times where it feels like when you're looking at that content. The algorithms are serving it to you. The things you're being tagged in. It feels like a change is coming. It feels like we're on the verge of something. It feels like. It feels like, oh, in my bones, I feel like this is definitely gonna happen, y'all. The. The election was the moment. And then there's a lot on.

[Wife]

Mm.

[Husband]

Then there's a lot after that. But before the election, guess what? My algorithm was telling me one thing. And there's a lot that can happen with manipulation on that end. And the content creators, the viewers, the commenters, the podcast, all of them are part of this weird ecosystem. Ecosystem. But it's a parasitic blob that's just a series of people. It's just sucking and fucking.

[Wife]

No end to end.

[Husband]

No. Yeah.

[Wife]

No.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Oh, no. This.

[Husband]

That's where I want you guys to take this.

[Wife]

Why would you end it here?

[Husband]

When you think of Lauren the mortician. No, I think. No, I think I. Very well, Very well presented.

[Wife]

Presented, not researched. This was a story, like I said at the opening. This is just a Law and Order style reinterpretation of some information I found.

[Husband]

Yeah, I do like that.

[Wife]

Get me BD Wong.

[Husband]

When you were talking, because you. Would you tell me a little bit about it? Because you did actually have to pre present this one to me.

[Wife]

Yeah, I had. There was a pitch.

[Husband]

There was a pitch. We don't usually pitch each other. No, usually it's. I have a. Do you have a topic? Yeah, I have a topic. I'm ready. Okay, cool. Let's go. Let's go record this week. You were like, okay, so I've been doing some stuff and I'm like, what's going on? The last. Can I tell you all the last thing she pitched me? Better help. That's been the two pitches in the history of this podcast. I've been the better Help episode and Lauren the mortician.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Sometimes I know that sometimes you have to. You have to. You might be treading on mud and you gotta. Your shoes are gonna get dirty, so you gotta know.

[Husband]

Yeah. And I hope that we aren't the horse calling for a treyu at the end of this episode. So with that, I think. Are we ready for our shout outs, Mrs. Yeah, let's. All right, guys, we're gonna give some shout outs and we'll be right back right after this.

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[Wife]

Pearl Mania.

[Husband]

Pearl Mania. Pearl Mania. Pearl mania500.net to join our Patreon, now known as our legal defense fund here on the pod, the pod that brings you guys so much joy. Do you want to have. Listen, what could this legal defense, could it be used just to defend ourselves from someone like a specific litigious undertaker?

[Wife]

Maybe?

[Husband]

Maybe. Could it be used to stop us from being attacked by [e-mail] maybe. Maybe it's just the government. More than likely it's going to be the government.

[Wife]

We're gonna need bail money for sure.

[Husband]

God. Listen, I'm gonna.

[Wife]

Do they let you post bail for Guantanamo?

[Husband]

I don't know.

[Wife]

All right?

[Husband]

I don't know what they do on that end of things, but with that. Mrs. P, we have some shout outs this week, so let's go ahead and. And knock these out. Also, I just want to let everybody know the one thing that I have discovered looking through with the Patreon. When you guys join our Patreon, it takes about 24 hours for Patreon to let us know that you are officially a member. So if you just joined this week, we might be recording the same day you joined. So sometimes shout outs can be off. They can be delayed a little bit by a week depending on that. So I just want to make that announcement at the beginning because there's a few people who are like, hey, I joined last week and I wasn't in there. Well, you joined the day we were recording. So with that, let's go ahead and start off with our first shout out. Mrs. P. You ready?

[Wife]

Yes.

[Husband]

Morgan Ford.

[Wife]

Morgan Ford. Hey, hon.

[Husband]

Welcome to the pod. After that, we have Donald's IBS demon.

[Wife]

Oh, hey, hon.

[Husband]

That's right. That's a good one. Next we have my underscore cat. Underscore R. Underscore R. Let's go.

[Wife]

Orange cats. They're dumb but cute.

[Husband]

They are. We had an orange cat who was so dumb.

[Wife]

He's the dumbest.

[Husband]

He was so dumb.

[Wife]

Love him.

[Husband]

But I had. You know what? I'm one of the rare people. I had two smart, orange cats.

[Wife]

Well, were you the dumb one then?

[Husband]

I was a teenager. Teenage boy in America. I was one of the few not punching drywall in the suburbs. Okay, after that, we have Lex. Can't even.

[Wife]

Can't even.

[Husband]

Hey, hon, they can't even. After that, Kyle K. Hey, honey. After that. Spiritual equivalent of a combo Pizza Hut. Taco Bell.

[Wife]

Hey, hon.

[Husband]

Hey.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Kentaco Hut.

[Wife]

Got that. Get the Pepsi.

[Husband]

After that we have Nicole Gilcrease. Hey, hon, after that we have K. L Wolf.

[Wife]

Hey, hon, after that we have Laura Daley. Hey, hon.

[Husband]

Hey. Laura Dale. That feels like an SNL name.

[Wife]

No, Laura Daly. Sounds like a comic book news reporter gal.

[Husband]

I hear. I feel like. And featuring today, Laura Daly. Yeah. You wrote like, one snl. After that, we have. Okay, I'm gonna try on this last name.

[Wife]

Okay.

[Husband]

After that we have Sophie. Schmidauer.

[Wife]

Schmidauer.

[Husband]

I'm gonna go with Schmidauer.

[Wife]

All right. Schmidauer.

[Husband]

Mid hour.

[Wife]

Schmidt Hour sounds more fun.

[Husband]

Schmidauer.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

You know what? Let us know how we did. After that we have Ashley Pender. Hey, hon, after that, we have Crochet, not knit. Everywhere.

[Wife]

Oh, okay.

[Husband]

Hey, hon, after that, we have Plutonium. Plutonian. Ambassador to Earth.

[Wife]

Oh, the ambassador. Earth. From plutonium.

[Husband]

Plutonium.

[Wife]

Nice to meet you.

[Husband]

Yeah. Plutonian.

[Wife]

Plutonian.

[Husband]

From Pluto.

[Wife]

Pluto.

[Husband]

Yeah.

[Wife]

Okay, that's a. That's back to being a. I don't.

[Husband]

Know what it is anymore, honestly. You know what I think of a Pluto Welcome. It's a dog. Oh, Pluto's a dog on Disney.

[Wife]

How come Pluto can. Is a dog, but Goofy can talk?

[Husband]

I. I don't know. I think. I think. Isn't Goofy supposed to be, like, part cow?

[Wife]

No, they're both dogs.

[Husband]

Is Goofy a dog?

[Wife]

Yeah, Goofy's a dog.

[Husband]

So you're telling me Goofy is a man?

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

Who has a man that he feeds and walks down the street naked?

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

It's a dark episode. After that, we have Daphne. Hey, say hi to Velma. To me, Daphne. After that, we have Tom Reagan.

[Wife]

Hey, Tom.

[Husband]

Or Regan. R E G A N. Reagan. After that, we have. Why'd you say it like, I don't know, Reagan. After that, we have Mercury Retro Underscore babe.

[Wife]

Hey, hon.

[Husband]

Mercury retro babe.

[Wife]

Yeah, I like that.

[Husband]

I like that, too. After that, we have Nikki Nelson. Hey, hon, after that, we have Sarah Lovell.

[Wife]

Okay.

[Husband]

Hey, hon, she did send in the corrected one. On that one, I want to say thank you. On that, Sarah. After that, we have Patrick Kelly.

[Wife]

Hey, hon.

[Husband]

After that, we have Bigfoot is my daddy.

[Wife]

Oh, they're stars around Daddy. Somebody just listened to the Patricia episode. Hey, hon.

[Husband]

Yeah. Where Patricia is mommy.

[Wife]

Yeah. Patricia is mother.

[Husband]

After that, we have shot and Paul.

[Wife]

Shot and Paul says, I've experienced. Shot and Paul.

[Husband]

Yeah. That's when Logan. Paul gets punched in the face.

[Wife]

Yeah. Real case of the Shot and Paul.

[Husband]

After that, we have Shut Underscore up. Underscore. I'm underscore. Fabulous.

[Wife]

Yes, you are.

[Husband]

Shut up. I'm fabulous.

[Wife]

You are.

[Husband]

After that, we have just me. 1, 2, 3.

[Wife]

Hey, hon.

[Husband]

After that, we have sky sealant.

[Wife]

Hey, hon.

[Husband]

After that, we have Shelby Armstrong.

[Wife]

Hey, hon.

[Husband]

After that, we have lazy millennial facts. You know what? Good for you.

[Wife]

Guess what?

[Husband]

Good for you.

[Wife]

Fair enough.

[Husband]

After that, we have Joshua Merchant.

[Wife]

Hey, hon.

[Husband]

And after that, we have Rockstash.

[Wife]

Hey, hon.

[Husband]

Hey. Rockstash. Cool name. And finally, Mrs. P. A returning member.

[Wife]

Okay.

[Husband]

To the Patreon. And we get these messages all the time. People say, hey, my financial situation changed. I was a member. I came back. I returned all these different things.

[Wife]

Welcome back.

[Husband]

Welcome back to Pajamas.

[Wife]

Oh, in the gutter times. We all need our pajamas.

[Husband]

Listen, we. We've been through goblin mode.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

We've been through cookie pants fist fights. Cookie Cookie monster pajama fist fights.

[Wife]

Yeah.

[Husband]

We all just need to be in pajamas.

[Wife]

Let's get in pajamas.

[Husband]

The gutter time, y'all. That's what we should. Yeah, let's. That's what's going in the comment section.

[Wife]

Okay.

[Husband]

It's gutter time.

[Wife]

It's gutter time.

[Husband]

It's gutter time to everyone in the comment section. Happy gutter time to you, and we will see.

[Wife]

Good Gutter time to you, sir.

[Husband]

Guten gutter time to you, sir. Thank you all so much for joining us on this week's episode of Too Many Tabs. We have more content all the time. Obviously. You know where our patreon is. It's promania.net promania500. Oh, no.

[Wife]

I got it wrong.

[Husband]

You got it wrong. The only way to correct it is for everyone who listens to the podcast to type that directly into their browser. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers, and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs open. It's too many tabs. Remember to smile.

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[Sponsor]

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