Wildest Deaths from Wikipedia | TMT 163

Summary

Podcast Summary: Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500

Episode: Wildest Deaths from Wikipedia | TMT 163
Date: February 8, 2026
Hosts: Pearlmania500 (A & B, married couple)

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the “List of Unusual Deaths” on Wikipedia, as the hosts, a husband-and-wife duo, gleefully recount some of the wildest, weirdest, and most absurd ways people have left this mortal coil. Their banter flips between macabre fascination, dark humor, and historical tidbits. The tone remains conversational, irreverent, and playful—think “Final Destination” meets Wikipedia deep-dive, with tangents about amusement parks, animal attacks, inventors’ hubris, and even infamous deaths during sex.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to the Topic: Deaths Strangers Than Fiction

• Wikipedia’s “List of Unusual Deaths”: Mrs. P (B) discovers the extensive list and describes wading through a “maze” of linked bizarre deaths [02:17].
  • “There's tabs within tabs within tabs within one wiki page. So I spent hours just scrolling through, finding the weirdest, silliest, and deeply concerning deaths I could.” – Mrs. P [02:33]
• Clarifying Focus: No conspiracies or suspicious celebrity deaths—just silly, absurd, and wild demises. No Epstein talk (despite recurring joking attempts by Mr. P) [01:47].

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2. Greek Tragedy… Literally

• Aeschylus’ Death by Tortoise [03:12–05:12]
  • The father of Greek tragedy was killed when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head, having mistaken his bald head for a rock.
  • Seriously foreshadowed: An oracle told him he’d die by something falling on him, so he avoided going outside, only to be “Donnie Darko’d” by a falling tortoise.
    • “He literally would like, not go outside... He was Donnie Darko. He was Donnie Darko.” – Mr. P [04:50]
    • “So when he saw a tortoise coming at him, he had no idea.” – Mrs. P [05:02]

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3. Deaths by Falling Objects, from Coconuts to Vending Machines

a. Coconuts – Not Just a Cartoon Gag

• Many have died from falling coconuts; there's an entire Wikipedia sublist [06:31].
• A U.S. outlier:
  • In 1923, a Pennsylvania man tried to crack a coconut with the butt of a loaded revolver. The gun discharged and killed him [08:01].
    • “That's the dumbest. That's stupid. That's a stupid way to die.” – Mr. P [08:28]

b. Vending Machines – Warning Stickers with a Gruesome Origin [09:56–15:00]

• Rocking vending machines has killed dozens; most victims are men [10:46].
• The notorious sticker (stick figure being crushed) exists thanks to at least 37 deaths and 113 injuries [11:00].
• Odds: “More likely to be killed by a vending machine than win the Powerball” [14:16].
  • “There's a Venn diagram in my head right now of people killed by vending machines and people who play the Powerball. And it's the same circle.” – Mr. P [14:22]

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4. Amusement Park Mayhem

a. Amusement Park Deaths Are Common—and Dumb [15:51]

• Mrs. P found “pages and pages” of deaths/serious injuries at amusement parks, often with details per ride.
• Six Flags, 2003: Guest killed over a $10 marijuana dispute at the gate [17:10].
  • “Literally, they murdered someone. You died over $10.” – Mrs. P [17:54]
• Disney Parks:
  • 1966: Teenager killed sneaking in—struck and dragged by the monorail [18:19].
  • 2025: Woman dies on Haunted Mansion Holiday ride, making it “officially haunted” [21:13].
    • “The Haunted Mansion ride is officially truly haunted. Someone passed away on the ride.” – Mrs. P [21:14]
  • 1979: Woman gets sent through Space Mountain—twice—while having a stroke. Dies later, official cause was a tumor, but also Space Mountain [26:25].
• Cast Member Lawsuits:
  • 1976: Woman files (and drops) suit against Disney, claiming “Three Little Pigs” costume groped her, disproven by the costume’s inoperable stub arms [29:53].
  • 1978: Winnie-the-Pooh allegedly slaps a child, acquitted after Pooh “testifies in court” in costume, proving it was physically impossible [30:36].

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5. Toilet Terrors

• People dying in toilets:
  • Glasonbury Festival (2011): Politician found dead in a porta-potty—natural causes, not drugs [35:40].
  • Michael Anderson Godwin: Escaped electric chair execution only to die by electrocution fixing a TV on a metal toilet in prison [37:41].
• Toilet Animal Dangers:
  • Black Widows Nest Under Toilet Seats: Common especially in outhouses—several fatal bites have occurred [40:53].
  • Rats and Snakes Up the Bowl:
    • “Rats...would come up through your toilet, so you always had to make sure the seat was down...” – Mrs. P [43:04]
    • In 2016, an 11-foot python bit a man’s penis in a Thai squat toilet. Both survived [44:32].

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6. Animals Turned Killers

Horses

• Many killed, most famously Christopher Reeve, and even Genghis Khan died from a fall off a horse [45:46].
  • Discussion of horses as muscle-bound, dangerous animals, despite their “cute” cultural image.

Elephants

• Execution by Elephant:
  • In Southeast Asia, elephants were trained for executions—sometimes to kill quickly, others to torture over time [49:21].
    • “They trained elephants to kill people immediately or to torture them slowly.” – Mrs. P [49:41]

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7. Dangerous Job Spotlight: Inventors

• Testing inventions is itself deadly.
• Examples:
  • Flying car/taxi deaths: Attempting to prove flying vehicles, inventors die in test flights [53:18–54:38].
  • Franz Reichelt: Tailor leaps from the Eiffel Tower to test his “parachute coat” (with police permission to use a dummy, but he goes himself). Dies; infamous photos ensue [55:02].

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8. Famous & Bizarre Sex-Related Deaths

• Carbon Monoxide Sex Death (1999, Romania): Couple has sex in running car parked in a garage, both die of poisoning [57:28].
• Pope John XII: Died of stroke during sex (or possibly thrown from a window) [61:02].
• Patrick Troughton (Doctor Who): Rumored to have died mid-coitus with a fan at a convention [62:33].
  • “That fan is probably like, oh, no. Is he going to regenerate?” – Mr. P [63:02]
• Zimbabwe, 2013: Couple attacked by lion during outdoor sex; woman killed [64:33].
• French President Félix Faure (1899): Died during oral sex from a cerebral hemorrhage [65:06].
  • “Blowing your dome while getting it. That sounds pretty French.” – Mr. P [65:36]
• Nelson Rockefeller: Rumored to have died mid-orgasm with his secretary [65:49].
  • “Nelson thought he was coming, but he was going.” – New York Magazine [66:14]
• Too Sweet to Prosecute (Malawi, 2020): Man dies of “excessive orgasm”; sex worker cleared because she “committed no crime by being too sweet for the man” [69:35].

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the cosmic irony of “final destination” style deaths:
  • “He finally avoided being executed by the electric chair. He electrocuted himself on the toilet.” – Mrs. P [38:19]
• On gender & vending machine deaths:
  • “Every time I’ve seen a vending machine get its shit rocked, it’s always a big, strapping dude. It’s always pretzels.” – Mr. P [11:48]
• On warning labels:
  • “Every warning label on a ladder is because enough people did that that they were like, this is now a legal concern.” – Mr. P [11:18]
• Disney humor:
  • After a woman’s death on the Haunted Mansion:
    • “The Haunted Mansion ride is officially truly haunted.” – Mrs. P [21:14]
    • “If I died on the Haunted Mansion, I’d want to show up in the mirror scene and pop in: ‘Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself!’” – Mr. P [22:23]
• On Australian sex death (and cultural quirks):
  • “Australia, what the fuck is your problem?” – Mr. P [68:16]
• On inventors’ hubris:
  • “He convinced everyone he’d use a dummy, then put on the parachute coat himself. Leapt off the Eiffel Tower. There’s photographs of him as he fell.” – Mrs. P [55:26]

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Timestamps – Important Segments

• [02:17] – Discovery of the “List of Unusual Deaths”
• [03:12] – [05:12] – Aeschylus and the fatal tortoise
• [06:31] – [08:31] – Coconut death (Pennsylvania, 1923)
• [09:56] – [15:00] – Vending machine deaths: facts, gender breakdowns, Powerball comparison
• [15:53] – [31:15] – Amusement park deaths (Six Flags, Disney, lawsuits, “haunted” rides)
• [35:13] – [44:32] – Toilet deaths & animal attacks in the loo (black widows, rats, snakes)
• [45:43] – [51:10] – Horses & elephants as bringers of death
• [52:49] – [56:37] – Deadly inventors: flying car/taxi attempts, parachute coat
• [57:05] – [69:35] – Deaths during sex (with detail to politicians, popes, celebrities, “too sweet” sex worker)
• [73:32] – [75:16] – Reflections, favorite stories (coconut/vending machine/Eiffel Tower)

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Episode Flow & Tone

The episode is quick-witted, personal, and leans heavily on the couple's chemistry and running gags (notably Mr. P’s obsession with Epstein files, always deflected by Mrs. P’s squirt bottle). The tone embraces a "laugh so you don't cry" attitude, using dark humor to process the absurdity of fate and stupidity.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a whirlwind tour of strange, silly, and tragic deaths spanning thousands of years and multiple continents. The hosts balance detailed storytelling with punchlines, personal anecdotes (including near-death by carbon monoxide and grasshopper-infested porta-potties), and meta-commentary on everything from warning labels to the failings of our justice system. Through it all, the theme is clear: life is weird, death is weirder, and sometimes the absurdity is the only way to cope.

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Standout Quote:

“More likely to be killed by a vending machine than win the Powerball.” – Mrs. P [14:16]

Most Memorable Death:

• Tie between the Pennsylvania coconut-cracker, the Eiffel Tower “parachute coat” tailor, and Mrs. P’s personal pick—the woman dying in Disney’s Haunted Mansion, officially making it haunted.

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Interested in more? Look up Wikipedia’s “List of Unusual Deaths”…with a friend.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Subject to change, visit your nearby Lowe's on Colorado street in Kennewick. Today, we're talking about death, but not the metaphor of death. Actual deaths, like final destination level death. Crazy deaths that Mrs. P found on Wikipedia. Not suspicious deaths.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Crazy deaths like lions and toilets and elephants. Oh, my. On today's episode of Too Many Times, remember to smile. Welcome to Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit next to each other at a table. And like all of you out there, I have been wrapped, pouring over the Epstein files. I'm like, ah.

[B]

What?

[A]

What?

[B]

No.

[A]

What?

[B]

No, we are not doing that.

[A]

Is that Lysol?

[B]

No, it's. It's water, I swear.

[A]

It's just burns a little bit.

[B]

Okay, well, maybe we'll learn a lesson.

[A]

About what?

[B]

We're not talking about that today.

[A]

What are we talking about then?

[B]

We're gonna talk about death.

[A]

Jeffrey Epstein, out of suspicious.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We're gonna talk about Silly Billy. Kind of humorous, weird, wild. Like that movie Final Destination, Death. Okay, we're not talking about the Epstein files. We're talking about stuff that should be in the X Files.

[A]

Okay, Got it. Understood. Okay. All right. Okay.

[B]

Ready to get started?

[A]

Can you put the water bottle down?

[B]

Yeah, I'll put it right over here.

[A]

Oh, great. That's fine.

[B]

Well, not the.

[A]

Not label out.

[B]

They didn't pay for that.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

So listen. No, here's what happened. I found a wiki page, a Wikipedia. A Wikipedia page that's literally called List of Unusual Deaths.

[A]

That's where you started your tabs.

[B]

Yeah. I was like, wait, hold on. And when you go to this page, there's so many. And then there's lists within lists within lists. There's tabs within tabs within tabs within one wiki page. So I spent hours just scrolling through, finding the weirdest, silliest, and deeply concerning deaths I could.

[A]

Okay, so this is just a list of deaths.

[B]

Yeah, but like, it's also like not. Not talking about the news, right?

[A]

I guess that's true. Yeah. I mean, I guess. Yeah. Honestly? Yeah. I think just talking about a bunch of people dying is probably better than talking about the news, which is mostly a bunch of people.

[B]

Listen, listen. Okay.

[A]

What?

[B]

I wanted to start somewhere where you're comfortable.

[A]

Okay. Where am I?

[B]

Which is Greek tragedies.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Ancient Greek tragedies in Greek tragedy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's where you're comfortable. You love that stuff.

[A]

I do. You know what? There's something about Greek islands that are a lot different.

[B]

I swear to God. Okay, don't you dare. What I'm going to talk about is a schoolless. Is that how you say his name is the father of Greek tragedy? Right.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Do you know how he died? No. You don't know how he died? He died because a tortoise was dropped from the sky because an eagle was holding it. And the eagle, I guess, mistaken him for a rock and dropped a tortoise on his head, thinking he could crack the tortoise open, but instead he killed that dude.

[A]

Wait, hold on. The. One of the fathers of Greek tragedy, the guy, he wrote the Arrest year.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Like, he wrote like all these plays about Agamemnon, all these different things. He's just walking down the road one day.

[B]

Funny, because he actually, you know what? They used to go and like, talk to people that would give them omens, right? Yeah, a thing back then. Yeah. You didn't call them psychics. They were like, oh, we got. We checked the omens or the oracles.

[A]

Oracles. They would go to the oracle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the oracle was a lady who was high on vapors. Not even drugs. Yeah, well, some of them use drugs, but they actually. There was like, cracks in the ground.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And they would, like, huff the ground and then they'd be like, oh. And they would tell you, basically a fortune cookie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Well, one of the oracles had told him that he was going to die from something falling on him. That's what she had predicted years prior.

[A]

And then he said in bed, oh, right, that's what you do with fortune cookies.

[B]

Prior. But so he had always been staying inside. Like, he, he like for la. The end of his life, he literally would like, not go outside Donnie Darko. He was Donnie Darko.

[A]

Donnie Darko. He's like plane engines. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But so he was waiting for a rock or something. So when he saw a tortoise coming at him, he had no idea.

[A]

I don't think he saw it.

[B]

No, he didn't.

[A]

I think. I think he was.

[B]

I don't think he looked up.

[A]

I think he was just outside and they're like, eagle screech and then gone.

[B]

Yeah. Honestly.

[A]

Because I'm guessing he was bald.

[B]

I mean, they all are, aren't they?

[A]

In all the paintings and all the paintings of, like, philosophers and things like that. Because, I mean, I'm just to assume that he's a rock.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, you gotta be a kind of. Like, that's a shiny rock and it's just a bald Greek.

[B]

Speaking of things falling. Speaking of things falling.

[A]

Oh, like Andrew Schultz's podcast ratings.

[B]

I swear to God.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

So where to go? I swear.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Coconuts.

[A]

Coconut.

[B]

One of your favorite type of sweet treats.

[A]

I've grown into loving coconuts.

[B]

I didn't love a coconut sweet treat.

[A]

Almond Joys when I was a kid were the bane of my existence.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I met you. Yeah. And then you eat the almond.

[B]

I do.

[A]

And I eat the joy. Yeah, that's how it goes.

[B]

I'm like, give me that little chocolate covered almond.

[A]

Don't. Don't do that. I finally let you back in this thing and you laugh at that the way you laughed at it. Mr. Third. You haven't been in this room in four months. Okay, all right. No, but for real, I didn't like coconut when I was growing up. Yeah, I didn't like coconut.

[B]

But now you love me like macaroon.

[A]

I love a macaroon.

[B]

You like coconut cake.

[A]

I like coconut water.

[B]

Oh, you like the coconut sweet treats I made at Christmas for our food?

[A]

Yes. Yeah, I love those. Those are. Yeah, no, yeah. Vibing with the food.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

There was a special one that we put up for.

[B]

Listen. Coconuts are killers, though, and I don't mean because of food allergies.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

I mean, many, many people have died from falling coconuts coming out of trees to the point where there's a whole Wikipedia page, which is lists of people dying from coconuts falling. This is dangerous.

[A]

Coconuts are a deadly weapon.

[B]

Yes, absolutely. And the funniest thing is there's so there's all this list of all these people that had passed away because they were under a coconut tree and a coconut fell and hit them okay. Very sad, very tragic. I could not believe how many people passed away. But leave it to a man from Pennsylvania to find a way to have a coconut be the end of him. Because you're, like, thinking, there's no coconut trees here.

[A]

There are no coconut, like, famously, like, we don't have palm trees here. It is. It's currently frozen outside.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's ice everywhere. And not the bad, not the. Okay. I'm talking about weather.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Yeah. So like, like, palm trees. Coconut trees. They can't live here.

[B]

No. They don't have.

[A]

Where the definition of as far from tropical as possible.

[B]

So this guy in Pennsylvania, Okay. He is trying to crack open a coconut. This is in Newcastle, Pennsylvania, in 1923, by the way.

[A]

Okay. Okay. It's probably the first coconut he's ever seen.

[B]

He. What am I going to do with this?

[A]

1920.

[B]

I heard there's something delicious inside.

[A]

This is before Looney Tunes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, this is before, like, the classic looney. Because, like. And when I think of coconuts falling on people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think of, like a Looney Tunes cartoon. Coconut hits. And then they have the big. The really big oversized welt comes out. But you're saying they did.

[B]

They didn't get a well.

[A]

They did not get a well. They just cracked their skull. Okay.

[B]

Okay. So this guy, he has a coconut. Coconut.

[A]

So it's not falling.

[B]

He's in Pennsylvania. He has purchased some type of coconut in his hands, and he decides he's going to crack it open, okay. Using the butt end of loaded revolver.

[A]

What?

[B]

And as he's whacking the coconut with the butt end of the revolver, the gun discharges and shoots him in the gut and he dies.

[A]

He was trying to make a macaroon and he got a tummy shot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What the fuck?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's fucking crazy.

[B]

I know.

[A]

That's the dumbest. That's stupid.

[B]

I know.

[A]

That's a stupid way to die.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

That's a very dumb way to die.

[B]

Listen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's take a break.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And when we come back, I want to talk to you about vending machines.

[A]

Vending machines. Oh.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

At cvs, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by our store.

[A]

We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location. So you said vending machines.

[B]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

I immediately picture the sticker.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So rocking and tilting vending machines has been known to cause serious injury and death. Yeah, the machines fall over on you, right?

[A]

Yeah. Because they're very heavy machines. They're also always pointy.

[B]

Yeah, it's always.

[A]

That's always driven me crazy. Is like, vending machines have very. Not. Especially now that we're parents. Yeah. I notice points everywhere. Yeah. Vending machines have very sharp points.

[B]

Well, listen, many people have tried to rock vending machines to try to release stuck products or maybe try to get something for free, or maybe they're trying to get change. Whatever. So many people got hurt because they were rocking vending machines that the U.S. consumer Product Safety Commission in 1995 did a study, and they found that at least 37 people died and over 113 injuries had occurred because of this.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Because of these results, the big vending machine industry started a voluntary campaign in which vending machine manufacturers created the now famous warning label sticker.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Showing the little guy being, like, about to get clobbered by a vending machine. Yeah. It looks like, do not rock.

[A]

It literally looks like the vending machine is like, do you want to come to my island? As it's, like, jumping at them.

[B]

I will get.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry.

[B]

I'm just gonna keep it in my lap.

[A]

All right, that's fine.

[B]

Because I can't do the mouse the laptop and keep you in line.

[A]

I understand. But listen, the thing is, is, is with all those warning labels, right? Like, people talk about ladders a lot. Like, every warning label on a ladder is because enough people did that that they were like, this is now a legal concern.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, they don't want to put warning labels on anything. They didn't want to put warning labels on cigarettes. They definitely didn't want to put them on vending machines.

[B]

And we're not putting them on guns.

[A]

No, we're definitely not.

[B]

So the thing is, when you look at the statistics, the vast majority of injuries and deaths by vending machine happen to men.

[A]

Yeah. No, that makes sense. That makes total sense. That 100% makes sense. Every time I've ever seen a vending machine get it shit rocked. It was always a big, strapping dude who was like, I'm getting that bag of pretzels, and it's always pretzels. It's always like the pretzels catch and then a Snickers bars on top. And then it's when you come up and it's like the quadruple trifecta.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There you have two options in that world. You either you shake the vending machine and it comes loose, or you just keep putting money into it, thinking the weight will eventually hit a jackpot. And then you're like, I don't like sour patch kids that much. Oh, but that's where they have to fall.

[B]

You, like, rip the enamel off your teeth in the perfect way.

[A]

Never a sour patch guy. But the other thing I'll say is, is I feel like when you're looking at it, and this is where gender roles come in, a man would think, I can grab this and I can shake the entire vending machine. Right. But when it comes to a woman, you're like, you got that little arm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Get up in there.

[B]

Yeah. Can I get it?

[A]

Can I reach it?

[B]

And I.

[A]

And then you get stuck.

[B]

I did not. Have. Not got.

[A]

Well, I'm saying. But then the woman gets.

[B]

Some people do get.

[A]

And then no. And there's nobody there. Yeah. And then it's a long weekend, and they starve to death with a bag of pretzels just inside of their reach.

[B]

Wow. What a way to go.

[A]

And that's a tragedy. Is that in the list?

[B]

That's not the list.

[A]

Well, it's in my list.

[B]

I would say the last time I ever shook a vending machine to try to get a snack out of it that I paid for.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Was at community college of Philadelphia.

[A]

Okay. That's that.

[B]

Famously where I graduated from.

[A]

Yeah. General studies.

[B]

I did not get general studies.

[A]

Oh, no, that was me.

[B]

That was you.

[A]

I meant to say associate paralegal studies.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Associate degree.

[B]

But I didn't rock it from the front. I shimmied in between it and something else so I could rock it from the side, and I just pushed it to the tilt and then let it fall back down. And when it slammed on the ground from the side. It dropped my Snickers bar, probably.

[A]

You just described a different way of getting crushed.

[B]

Yeah, but you're like, no, no, no.

[A]

I wedged myself between the vending machine and the wall.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In a leveraged fashion. And then I pushed it so it would come slap back. And it didn't. Luckily. Luckily, unlike American, it didn't blow back into your face.

[B]

No. I got my little candy bar and I went to class.

[A]

Okay, well, good. So, because you want to keep your blood sugar up.

[B]

In 2012, a report stated that the odds of winning a Powerball are 1 in 175 million.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It is a chance of 1 in 112 million of getting killed by a vending machine.

[A]

So you're more likely to get killed by a vending machine than you are to win the Powerball?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Can I tell you something?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

There's a Venn diagram in my head right now of people killed by vending machines and people who play the Powerball. And it's the same circle.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

Because, like, I just. I'm going to throw it out there right now of like, I need this. I need this little bag of pretzels, and also I need this Powerball to hit. Is the same mentality.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

It's 100% the same exact person. That's incredible. Just imagine getting that. You get to the afterlife waiting room, like from Beetlejuice, and you're just surrounded by dudes who were like, I got crushed by a vending machine while I had the winning Powerball ticket in my pocket. It's got to be at least three.

[B]

My favorite thing about the lottery tickets that you buy that are next to the vending machines.

[A]

And now there's lottery ticket vending machines.

[B]

Yeah. There's lottery ticket vending machines next to food vending machines.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I always think to myself, why do you think you're so lucky? What about your life right now makes you think that if you were in a grocery store.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Buying a little lottery ticket that you're lucky enough.

[A]

What? Imagine. Imagine taking. Going to the Coin Star.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cashing in your change to buy a lottery ticket.

[B]

And then you get your lottery, like, oh, I have $3 left. I think I'll get a bag of Skittles. But what happens?

[A]

Skittles gets caught.

[B]

The Skittles pull out a filling. And now you have to pay for the dentist and the lottery ticket you didn't win. So now I have to pay the dentist.

[A]

Yeah. And that's a different form of insurance you don't have.

[B]

Wait, listen.

[A]

We just described a bad day.

[B]

Really bad day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I want to talk to you about good days.

[A]

Good days.

[B]

Amusement park days.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I want to tell you something about amusement parks.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I didn't know they were so dangerous.

[A]

I did.

[B]

I didn't know. I knew they were dangerous because, like, once in a while, the news, you're like, oh, something bad happened at the amusement park. Somebody got stuck. When I tell you I've read through pages and pages and pages of people dying and getting maimed at amusement parks. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to go back. It is incredibly scary. And they're listed in these Wikipedia pages by, like, different rides. So, like, when you look at, like, the Six Flags page, it's like, this ride killed this many people. This ride killed the log flume drowned. This thing dropped.

[A]

We got to start putting teardrops on these rides.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They should start getting teardrop tattoos on the rides when you pull up. You must be this tall to be murdered by this ride.

[B]

There are so many deaths. Bad amusement parks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I had to go through and try to find the most. I'm going to say. And this. I'm trying to be nice.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, the. The. The dumbest ones.

[A]

Yeah. Well, because they're least scary. Yeah. Because there's. Sometimes you're just. You're like, oh, my God, I'm going on the roller coaster. And something breaks and you're decapitated.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's not.

[B]

That's not funny. I don't like that.

[A]

That's not. Not funny. But that's also. That's. That's very. Just like, it's just going to happen.

[B]

So let's talk about Six flags.

[A]

Six Flags 2003 with the Vanguard bus.

[B]

Two guests are involved in a fight over $10 worth of marijuana at the front gate of the park, which led to a shooting.

[A]

What?

[B]

One guy shot another guy before they even got into the park because he wouldn't give him the $10 in weed for a dimebag. Literally.

[A]

He got shot for a dimebag before he even got into the park.

[B]

No, really.

[A]

The guy was like, I really want to get as high as Kingda Ka.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're not giving me the dimebag. And then he killed him.

[B]

Yeah. And I need to tell you, that was. Made me laugh really loud about that. Is that in the Wikipedia, like, article? Yeah, it literally. They literally were like. It was over $10. Like, even Wiki was like, this is dumb. You, you let. You murdered someone. You died over $10.

[A]

That's so this is also crazy because it's 2003 where it's like, that's difficult. It's like now you would just use a promo code for in the cloud.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. What the fuck? Let's talk about Disney.

[A]

Oh God.

[B]

On June 17, 1966, a 19 year old man named Thomas Guy Cleveland from California, three names. Was killed attempting to sneak into the park by climbing onto the monorail track.

[A]

The monorail.

[B]

Ignoring security officers who were shouting at him warnings, get down. He was struck by the monorail and dragged like 40ft down the track and died.

[A]

The monorail.

[B]

And this is in 1966.

[A]

The monorail is raised. It's. You know how difficult it is to get killed by him. You have to work to get killed by a monorail.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Monorails usually like kill a town's economy, hence the Simpsons episode. But killing a single man, like he had to work.

[B]

Also my whole thought was that it's 1966. Disney's not even that expensive.

[A]

It's like a nickel. Yeah, like that's like now like going to Disney, like a family of four. Going to Disney is like a thousand bucks. It's crazy.

[B]

It's nuts.

[A]

It's crazy because they realize like all these companies have realized that they no longer price to see like what is competitive. They price to see what the breaking point is. Now need easy clean meals. Green Chef is the trusted authority in clean eating. Delivering only real farm sourced ingredients. Green chef has over 40 clean customizable weekly recipes. Every Green Chef box comes with certified organic produce and recipes, responsibly sourced proteins and seafood.

[B]

It is incredible. Honestly. We had this pork and caper sauce with feta cheese recently. That so good.

[A]

That was really good. I really like the street cart style turkey bulgur bowls. I'm telling you, it tasted so much like something I would get from a halal cart. But when it was done, I didn't feel like I wanted to immediately fall.

[B]

Asleep, take a nap.

[A]

I felt like I wanted to hop up. I wanted to do things. Not necessarily do the dishes, but I wanted to do things.

[B]

There weren't a lot of dishes thanks to Green Chef.

[A]

No, it was, it was an amazing. It was so easy to do. Take control of your health without the stress. Let Green Chef do the research, meal planning and grocery shopping while you enjoy low prep, low mess meals. Right now go to greenchef.com tabsgraza and use code tabs graza to get started with 50% off green chef and a free Graza olive oil set in your second and third boxes. This 50% offer is only available for a limited time, so do not wait. That's code T, A, B, S, G, R, A, Z, [e-mail] tabsgraza so we're still in Disney. Okay.

[B]

It's 2025.

[A]

2025. This year. Last year, last year, last year. Time is a flat circle.

[B]

It is not real anymore.

[A]

No, it's not real. You know what else isn't real? 4chan. It was actually an EP scene. No, no, no, no. Okay, okay.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

Stop it. A woman in her 60s was found unresponsive after riding the Haunted Mansion holiday ride. She was taken to a local hospital and pronounced dead later that day.

[A]

Wait, she died on the Haunted Mansion ride?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

She's haunting the Haunted Mansion.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. That's why I brought it up.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Because the Haunted Mansion ride is officially truly haunted. Someone passed away on the ride.

[A]

Which one, though, are we talking about? Disneyland? Disney World? Disney Tokyo? Disney Paris?

[B]

No. Don't do this to me right now.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I can't. Okay, listen, the Disney Wikipedia. Wikipedia pages of Disney incidents is too long. They're. They're. Every Disney park has its own page, and every Disney Park's own page has links to all the accidents, all the lawsuits, everything. It's too much. I just started labeling them Disney. I couldn't keep track. There's just too many.

[A]

So do you mean to tell me that if you have a one in four chance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Of if you go to the Haunted Mansion on Disney.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That it's actually haunted?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What would you do if you haunted that ride?

[A]

What would I do if I. Yeah.

[B]

Like, if you were a ghost.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And you're stuck for eternity in a Haunted Mansion ride?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

Okay, so my first thought immediately is to be in the ballroom scene, because that's like a kind of cool scene. But I think what I actually would want to be, you know, at the end when you're, like, riding together with your honey and you're in. Because the Disney. That is actually just like a dark ride.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're in the dark, Right. And then it turns you towards the mirror. And they put a ghost between you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would be the ghost that shows up between you.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And I would pop in, be like, jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.

[B]

Stop ruining people's Disney experiences. They paid five grand to get in there?

[A]

Yeah. You know who was in the Epstein files?

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

Winnie the Pooh.

[B]

See, I would. He's going to come up later. I would do not. This is not that ride. The one that's like the haunted drop ride. Whatever. The Tower of Terror.

[A]

The Tower of Terror.

[B]

That's the one I would want to haunt.

[A]

You would want to haunt the Tower of Terror?

[B]

Yeah. Because what I would do is, okay, so I'm a ghost on the Tower of Terror. We get to the top, and then right before it. They cut the lights.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Right before it drops, the person who I've decided I hate the most, I'm just gonna click. I'm gonna put my finger and click there and unbutton their seatbelt. They'll be fine. There's a bar.

[A]

You're a murdering ghost. You're gonna take all your little ghost powers. Like, remember in the movie Ghost?

[B]

Exactly. And I'm gonna press the button. Their seatbelts. They're gonna hear the click. Only they'll hear the click. The panic that will flush through them. The. The. The. The ride drops. I'm gonna tell you, their knees are gonna touch the bar because they're still a bar. The knees. Give me the bottle back. You give me that.

[A]

No.

[B]

Give me the water bottle.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I want it for why? Because I'm tired of being sprayed every time I bring up the Epstein files.

[B]

Give me the water bottle back. Thank you.

[A]

I want you to make me a promise.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That you will outlive me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because I cannot take being haunted by you. You are already coming up with plans on what you would do if you were haunting the Tower of Terror.

[B]

What would I do if I was.

[A]

To add terror to people? You're like, yeah, rides are scary enough. I've seen too many tiktoks of people posing right as it drops. Everyone else is gonna be.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

And then someone.

[B]

That's the person. The person that I see getting their phone ready to take a selfie.

[A]

No, they don't have to. No, you don't do the selfie.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

If they have the camera thing. And so right as it drops, they're like, oh, look at me. And they do, like, a slow mo thing. Oh. Because it's like they're doing the. What's the zoom cam or whatever that guy got.

[B]

Wasn't allowed at the Grammys this year.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was the. The guy that does, like, the cool slow motion.

[A]

Yeah. It has a name for it.

[B]

There was a whole drama. Yeah, there was a whole drama.

[A]

It's Because Jennifer Lopez was a. To him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, it's not his fault that Jennifer Lopez was a. Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

She's a to everybody. That's.

[A]

Yeah. That's like.

[B]

Especially the people who actually have any talent. Yeah. She steals Ashanti.

[A]

I would. I would not say that Jennifer Lopez doesn't have any talent.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm just saying that she has very little.

[B]

She has a talent for getting divorced.

[A]

Whoa. So let's listen when you mention Liz Taylor in our divorce episode.

[B]

She's an icon, a legendary.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A woman of talent, okay. Sophistication.

[A]

Whose talent was getting divorced and also getting jewels. That's all right. Okay, so, like, Ben Affleck isn't a jewel.

[B]

Do not make me start reading Ben Affleck, the filth.

[A]

Okay. All right. This episode's about death.

[B]

Yeah. All right, so August 1979, a 31 year old woman became sick after riding Space Mountain. Now she rides the Space Mountain. She's feeling queasy. They're at the unload area. She tells the people, hey, I don't feel good. And they're like, listen, remain seated. And we're gonna remove the cargo and. From the track. Yeah.

[A]

Because they can. They have like a way they can kind of cart.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Track over.

[B]

They're gonna move her to the side so that they can get medical intervention up to help. Right.

[A]

So bad.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Now here's what happens. The other ride operators weren't like. They weren't communicating with each other. You know, there's people on each side.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The other people on the other side were not communicating properly.

[A]

There's the guy who's talking to the people in the train. And then there's another guy who's in a little weird little booth over there.

[B]

Yeah. He hits the button.

[A]

Yeah. Who hits the button? Who's usually the one who's like, make sure you keep your hands on.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. So that guy didn't hear what was going on and he accidentally sent her through the ride a second time.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

So she. She did Space Mountain again in the.

[A]

Which space, Martin? Just so you guys don't know, it's in the dark.

[B]

In the d. Dark.

[A]

It's an entire roller coaster that is completely in the dark inside of a mountain.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So when she arrives back at the unloading zone again, this time semi conscious, the verbiage changes here. The victim was taken to Palm Harbor Hospital where she remained in a coma and died one week later. The coroner's report attributed her death to natural causes. Stating that a tumor had dislodged and entered her brain.

[A]

She had like a tumor somewhere that went. She basically had a stroke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She had a stroke. Space Mountain gave her a stroke.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And so she was mid stroke and then they sent her through center back. The last thing she experienced was Space Mountain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is. And not even like a Ric Flair joke. Like, this is like actual Space Mountain.

[B]

Yeah. And.

[A]

And there's like a part in it too where there's like lasers. You're having a space stroke the entire time. That's horrifying.

[B]

I know.

[A]

God. Disney. And people make this their whole personality.

[B]

Yeah. Disney adults.

[A]

Disney adults.

[B]

And then they dress up in the. The costumes that are not the costumes because you can't break the rules.

[A]

Yeah. It's called Disney bounding.

[B]

Disney bounding.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm glad you knew that.

[A]

I knew. I'm not. I know too much about it because sometimes feeds just hit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you just go, why is that person dressed like half bell?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're like. It's called. Then you go to the comments like, now I know a thing. I'll never remember.

[B]

Never. I didn't remember it.

[A]

I forget the color of your eyes every week.

[B]

I'm going to spray you. Anyway, I didn't mention him.

[A]

I didn't mention anything that you can't. So it's just sometimes things just take. You know, they go in the file and that you have inside your head, which is different than the file I've been searching all weekend.

[B]

Listen to me.

[A]

What? Whitney Cummings is in it.

[B]

Don't make. Get me started on Whitney Cummings. You know, I fucking hate Whitney Cummings.

[A]

I know. You know who loved her. You know who loves Whitney Cummings.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Oh, can I say.

[B]

Go ahead. You can say this.

[A]

Jeffrey Epstein was a big fan of Whitney Cummings.

[B]

Specifically, which one of her bits.

[A]

Oh, he. He literally wrote, I love the squirting.

[B]

Yeah. That's what you brought to the world. Whitney Cummings. That's what you brought to the world.

[A]

A lot of people die at Disneyland. Okay, sure.

[B]

All right, listen. While I was deep in the Disney files, I'm telling you, there were so many of them, I also found pages of just lawsuits. People love suing Disney.

[A]

Oh, well, it's a massive cash cow. And it's well known.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a massive company. It's well known. People go through not only their parks, but also. Yeah. Deal with their IP all the time. They have so many products. Like, it makes sense to be a.

[B]

Disney lawyer is to get paid. I bet. Anyway, in 1976, an unidentified woman sued Disney Parks Corporation because she claimed that a cast master. I'm sorry. Cast member dressed as one of the three little pigs in the It's a Small World attraction, grabbed one of her breasts and fondled her. She claimed that afterwards she gained 50 pounds as a result of the incident and sued Disney for $150,000 in damages for assault and battery, false imprisonment and humiliation. The plaintiff dropped the charges after Disney's lawyers presented her with a photo of the costume in question, which had only inoperable stub arms, a common feature among the shorter characters, which was eliminated in later years.

[A]

Wait, so they're like. She's like, this whole thing happened. And they were like, oh, yeah. From him. Yeah. And he's just there with his little tiny arms.

[B]

I think they might be hooves.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Because he's a pig.

[B]

He's a pig. I think they're all.

[A]

He has hooves. Yeah. And she's like, he grabbed me with his hands. Like, there's no hands, there's hooves. They're inoperable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this very much feels like the Legally Blonde perm moment.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It is. 100% that moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Killed this with pigs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Disney pigs.

[B]

Well, guess What?

[A]

What?

[B]

In 1978, it was alleged that a cast member playing Winnie The Pooh slapped 10 year old Debbie Lopez and caused bruising, recurring headaches, and possible brain damage.

[A]

Wait, they're saying that Pooh went oh, bother. And then hit a child?

[B]

Yeah, Slapped the shit out of her.

[A]

What? That's what they claim.

[B]

That's what they're claiming.

[A]

They said hit her so hard to.

[B]

Give her brain damage, recurring headaches and possible br. Brain damage.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The worker testified that the child was tugging at his costume from behind. When he turned around, he accidentally struck the girl in the ear. At one point during the legal case, the employee entered the courtroom after recess wearing the full Pooh costume, responded to questions while on the witness stand as Pooh would included dancing a jig. Appearing as Pooh showed the jury that the costume's arms were too low to the ground to slap a girl of the victim's height this way. The jury acquitted the worker after 21 minutes of deliberation.

[A]

He literally did. He did. The flow rider. He did. Flow rider. That's so crazy. Oh, bother. It couldn't have been me. I just love Honey. Like. But that's like. Like there's a case of. You guys can look it up when this episode's over. There's Flo Rida was Being deposed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's in court and they're trying to claim, like, that he stole somebody's music. Yeah. They're like, all right, Mr. Flo Rida. We are going to just real fast, we just want to, you know, just establish your resume real fast. About a hit maker and an artist. So we're just going to play some songs that people might know. They present. They pretend they. They then play 20 back to back bangers. And the whole time, Flow Rider is sitting there with, like, a bottle of water. Just like, that one's mine.

[B]

That nailed it.

[A]

Whistle, baby, whistle. And like, the whole time I was like, that's a banger. That's a banger. That's a banger.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just give me the green light. You're.

[B]

You're a big flow rider.

[A]

I love a flow rider. Yeah, I do. I don't love Florida, but I love Flow Rider. Does that make sense to everybody? I didn't. It took me a very long time to realize that his name was just Florida with a space in it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It took me way too long. But I do love the idea of Winnie the. The Pooh being deposed. I just like, because he's in the Epstein files. All, you can't stop me.

[B]

Stop again. No, but I also love the idea of, like, this worker was like, I am not taking the fall for accidentally knocking this little kid down who was tugging at my butt. And so they went in the back and then put the costume on. Yeah. Oh, see, now your glasses are dirty. This is what happens. You know, why don't we take a break so you can clean your glasses?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And when we come back, we're gonna talk toilets. Potty time.

[A]

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[B]

We absolutely did.

[A]

We did. We wanted. We. First thing, we were like, we got this promo code. And we said, what are we gonna do with this promo code? I don't know. We. Let's think about it. And then we talk to Mrs. P's own father.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who was like, you're not already using Mint Mobile.

[B]

How are you not using Mint Mobile already?

[A]

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[B]

Yes, I understand it's a major story, but I'm tired of hearing about it when nothing is going to happen. Do you know what I mean? For years we've been hearing about the Epstein files, all the horrors in the Epstein files. And now we've got 3,000 pages of horror that everybody's talking about on Instagram, TikTok, on the news, on YouTube. Everybody's talking about it. But here's the fucking problem. Nothing is happening. They're not castrating these monsters in the street. They're not putting them in prison. They're not doing anything about it. Every single person that's listed is still going to work, is still in their car driving somewhere. I don't want to hear about something if people aren't going to do something about it.

[A]

So toilets, how toilets kill people.

[B]

Okay, so people be dying on the toilet.

[A]

Okay, gotcha.

[B]

Can you think of anybody famous that died on a toilet?

[A]

Yeah, Elvis Presley, famously. And then there's this other guy in my dreams. But that's a gold toilet.

[B]

That's a different.

[A]

That's a different toilet whatsoever.

[B]

We all dream of that gold toilet.

[A]

Oh, when it happens, the gold toilet's.

[B]

Next to a bunch of like, files that were supposed to be like, government secrets.

[A]

Oh, we're gonna talk about files. We're talking about files.

[B]

No, no, that's not what I meant and you know it.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Okay. British businessman and Conservative politician Christopher Shale was found dead in a Porta Potty toilet at the glastonbury festival in 2001. Huh? And I said to Myself self. If you're at the Glastonbury Festival in a Porta Potty, what are you doing? Cocaine. But guess what.

[A]

What?

[B]

It was suspected he died of a heart attack. He was 56 years old. But they did an inquest, and they found out that he had no alcohol or drugs in his system. He died of natural causes.

[A]

He might have just been hot in the Porta Potty. Porta Potties can get hot, especially in a summer festival.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I tell you, I once almost had a heart attack at a Porta Potty.

[B]

I'm sorry, what?

[A]

Yeah, I was. I was, like, 19 years old.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I went. I was like. I was tailgating, Right. And I went to the Port A potty, and I really had to use the bathroom. I was also very hammered.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I went in the port a potty, and I'm. I'm using it. I'm standing there, I'm peeing, And all of a sudden, I heard, like, this noise. And that's when I looked around and realized the entire Porta Potty, all of the walls, were covered in grasshoppers. Oh. Like these big, giant. I don't like Southern grass.

[B]

I don't like.

[A]

And it was like, I was so oblivious. I was so hammered when I first walked in. I didn't notice that the walls. Because they're, like, the same color nightmare.

[B]

We might want a trigger.

[A]

Holding on. Hold on. This is what was so crazy about it, Right? So I'm peeing, and I'm like. I'm just like. Okay, I just have to finish peeing because now I'm midstream.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't stop.

[B]

No.

[A]

And I was very drunk. Yeah. And then one of them jumped on me. And then I just started screaming, like. And then, like, I could feel my heart tense up. My adrenaline spiked, all those different things. And then I reached back to escape, and then I, like, fell out of the Porta Potty.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I realized I was like. Like, this swarm of locusts comes out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I have my pants. I'm like, ah. Yeah.

[B]

I hate that story a lot.

[A]

You hated it. I lived it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And then you married the man. That happened to me.

[B]

Okay. Here's another person. His name's Michael Anderson Godwin.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He was a convicted murderer from South Carolina.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Who had his sentence reduced from death by electric chair. So this guy had been removed from the fear of death by electric chair.

[A]

So they took him off of death row.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He was gonna be a life imprisonment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they were gonna Give me electric chair.

[B]

So he's in prison. Life in prison. He's sitting on the metal toilet in his cell and he's fixing his television.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And he bit one of the wires. As a result, he experienced such electric shock that it killed him.

[A]

So he turned a metal toilet into an electric chair.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Took himself out.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He still he final destination himself.

[B]

No, but exactly.

[A]

Like literally the entire universe was like, no, no. If anyone's ever gonna get electrocuted on a chair, it's you, motherfucker.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why would you bite? Why would you unplug the television.

[B]

Unplug the television.

[A]

Unplug the television.

[B]

We're not.

[A]

But can I tell you, there's. I did a lot of studies about the death penalty. I'm against the death penalty for the most part, but.

[B]

When did you do studies?

[A]

Oh, back when I was in high school and stuff like that. So one of the things though, that I looked into a lot was the Texas. Their death row. Because Texas actually will post the entire death certificate. Because they really. They're one of those states where if they could, they would do the executions publicly. Like they would want to do it like on tv.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they're just not there. So what they do is they post these documents. And on the documents it gives you so much detail, like not only what the person did, but also their life leading up until the moment they were put on death row and executed. And as I looked at them, I realized more and more that most of these people. There was like one guy had some college.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Everybody else had dropped out in like elementary school, middle school. Most of them didn't even have high school degrees. When you looked at their jobs, it was like day labors. They didn't have regular employment. And so as I was reading through it, I realized that most people who get the death penalty are lower educated, but more importantly, poor as shit, because rich people never get it. And that's why I've been against the death penalty my entire life. Because I realized if you could afford lawyers, lawyers can just keep filing appeals and those appeals can keep things slow walking for decades.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so when I hear about this guy, like, you know, there's some. Something got him off of death row. But he clearly was also just a fucking idiot.

[B]

Yeah, it was. He was not. It wasn't a particularly smart moment.

[A]

All you have to do did not be electrocuted by your television.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is unplug it first.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's so stupid.

[B]

But, and this is like, I agree with you about the. The death penalty thing. Because you just said what's been frustrating me about the files we're not talking about. Yeah, right. Because wealthy people in power are never going to experience the same consequences that someone who got accidentally died on a metal toilet, you know?

[A]

Well, because they can afford Alan Dershowitz, who they hate.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

There's a. There's like, literally an email between Epstein and Woody Allen about Alan Dershowitz, and the whole time they just keep calling Alan Dershowitz an asshole.

[B]

Okay, we're good. We're moving on. I want to talk about black widow spiders.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Black widow spiders prefer this to. Not all. Not all of them. Some black widow spiders prefer to spin their webs below the toilet seat, particularly of outhouse toilets. So again, porta potty outhouses. Because what's going on inside of an outhouse toilet can bring a lot of flies and bugs, especially in a porta potty. Exactly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So black widow spiders have often been known to make Webster in porta potties. And then several people have been bitten while sitting on the toilet by a black widow.

[A]

Yeah, you just gave me a new fear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I've seen. I've seen black widows in the wild in New Mexico.

[B]

What?

[A]

I was staying at a friend's house, and they had a cinder block on their porch, and somebody was looking and was like, oh, my God, that's a black widow nest.

[B]

Not just.

[A]

Not just a web. Yeah, it was a nest, and it was, like, full of them. So, like, we had to, like, take care. Because she had a toddler, so we had to, like, take care of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, you know, we sprayed it with all sorts of stuff and then bought pesticide to, like, line everything, because they're in that area. But, like, as climate change has made things warmer, black widows have been moving more north and more east.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We've got enough problems over here in the northeast.

[A]

Well, now we gotta admit. But I'm not saying they moved all the way northeast.

[B]

Terrible Marvel movie.

[A]

No.

[B]

That.

[A]

You mean the one with Scarlett Johansson?

[B]

Yeah. It wasn't friend of Woody Allen. It wasn't friend of Woody Allen. Scarlett Johansson.

[A]

I'm gonna say it wasn't that bad.

[B]

What? The black Widow movie?

[A]

The movie. Not. Not Woody. Woody Allen did was terrible. Okay, well, Woody Allen did was bad.

[B]

Almost.

[A]

You almost got me.

[B]

Almost got.

[A]

I'm staying on the actual Marvel movie itself.

[B]

Yeah, but it was the black widow. That's what I'm thinking of. No. What's the one?

[A]

Madame Web.

[B]

Madame Web spider themed.

[A]

There's a reason we needed you here.

[B]

Okay? So let's not talk about spiders anymore. Let's talk about rats. Rats also be in the toilet, because sometimes rats crawl up through toilet sewer pipes and they can pop out into the toilet bowl.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

And no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Hold on. No, no, don't add me fears. No, don't add new fears to me.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Then I'll be pooping one day and a rat pops up and bites me in the testicles.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's literally a thing. And so. But it's so funny because as I was reading about it, meanwhile, I read this. I'm like, yeah, rats in the toilet. I know about this. And then I. There was like, things that's like, certain exterminators say this is impossible because the pipes are different size and they're too slippery. Rats can do it. And I call bullshit. Because growing up we had a hard and fast rule which was, you always close the toilet seat lid because the Philly sewer system is so old. It was made by fucking William Penn. It's so old that rats and snakes and frogs and what else? Roaches would come up through your toilet, so you always had to make sure the seat was down, the lid was down, because if you didn't, a rat could just get loose in the house. And so these exterminators were like, this doesn't happen. I'm like, you've never lived in the city. Shut up. Anyway, yeah, no, rats can come up and they'll be in there.

[A]

Can I tell you, when I was a kid, I saw the movie Chud and it made me afraid of toilets because I was always afraid that something would burst out while I was sitting there. Because that hole is a hole to somewhere.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And it. Because in the movie Chat. So he comes out and kills the guy. Yeah, it pops up, I think pops up into his butt.

[B]

In May 2016, an 11 foot snake, a reticulated python to be exact, emerged from a squat toilet and bit a man using it on his penis in Thailand or. But the victim and the snake both survived.

[A]

Okay, all right. Number one, I'm not going to time.

[B]

No.

[A]

Number two, there's enough having to do with, like Asian toilets, but also traveling internationally. When you're like, what type of toilet is this? Yeah, Especially when she said squat toilet.

[B]

Yes, like that.

[A]

No, I'm not doing that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Squatty potty. Squatty potty is fine. But squat toilet is where you put your feet on both sides of A hole.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so a snake popping out of that makes sense.

[B]

Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. No, no, no.

[A]

Why are you. Why are you giggling about that? That's. No, that's terrifying.

[B]

Yeah. No, wait.

[A]

Are reticulated pythons, are they poisonous?

[B]

I don't think so. I don't know. I'm not.

[A]

I'm sorry. Venomous.

[B]

Venomous. Oh, God.

[A]

Oh, they've already. They're already.

[B]

Oh, no, they're in the comments. They're already waiting for it to hear you. Correct.

[A]

They're not going to give us five stars on iTunes and Spotify.

[B]

Yeah, leave a comment.

[A]

And they're not going to share this with their friends. It's say. Oh, my God, this episode is so funny. Yeah, they're not going to do it. They're not going to do it because I just.

[B]

Right after you write the words, it's not poisonous, it's venomous also. Right. But I love the podcast so much. Thank you so much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For creating Silly Billy content during these dark, poisonous plants.

[A]

Venom is animals.

[B]

Let's talk about other animals that can kill you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Horses.

[A]

Y.

[B]

Now here's one. I didn't realize how dangerous horses were.

[A]

You what?

[B]

I didn't realize. Like, I was reading there's so many pages about people being killed and maimed by horses, and I had no idea it was Christopher Reeve. Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Superman.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

He felt it was thrown from a horse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Couldn't be Superman no more. Yeah, a horse took out Superman.

[B]

I just.

[A]

And you didn't realize that horses were dangerous? No, they're like 600 pound, pure muscle machines, number one.

[B]

I wasn't around horses that much. Why would I know?

[A]

You lived in Philadelphia.

[B]

Yeah, I know. We have horses. There's guys riding horses around.

[A]

Yeah, there's crackheads.

[B]

They're not crackheads.

[A]

The ones that. The ones that do the carts.

[B]

Okay. Those guys.

[A]

Yeah, those guys are crackhead.

[B]

Might be users.

[A]

You have. You have those guys who do the West Philly riders. The West Philly riders. That's different. Yeah, those. Those are cowboys.

[B]

Those guys are cool.

[A]

And then the police have co. Horses.

[B]

Yeah, but those are dorks.

[A]

Yeah, but they. Why do you think they have horses?

[B]

Because they are not allowed to be. They don't want to be on the bicycle crew.

[A]

No. Because the horses scare people. Because they're so big and imposing. And if you look at a horse. If you look at a horse's leg, it is pure muscle. They are literally just.

[B]

But they also seem kind of thin compared to their body. But they're not stable.

[A]

Look at their thighs, woman.

[B]

I mean, look at them thighs. I'm just. Listen.

[A]

Horses are. Listen to me. No, stop it. I had to listen to you. Horses are thick of muscles that are designed to just run fast with metal shoes on. And if they run, they stop. What do you think? Where do you think we got the idea of trampling? Okay. And just running through crowds? Why do you think Calvary existed? It wasn't the guys with those pointed swords. Oh, look at me and my sable. I'm the scary part of a horse. It was. The horse was the scary part.

[B]

I don't know. I just never had any fear of horses. I didn't realize they were so scary.

[A]

How do you not. How do you. It's not. It's not that they're scary. I get it. I get. I understand that you grew up during My Little Pony and all that other different stuff.

[B]

I didn't watch My Little Pony.

[A]

Yeah. But there was all. That's like horse propaganda.

[B]

That's horse propaganda.

[A]

Yeah, it's to make you not afraid of the horse.

[B]

Well, I think that some of the boys took it too far because.

[A]

Well, they. They're definitely not afraid of the horse.

[B]

Some of the bronies, they scare me now that I know what bronies are.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I'm sorry to explaining that one.

[B]

Yeah. That was rough for everybody. But I did. I was reading in the list of all the people that passed away because of horses, and the one that I felt like was the most interesting was that the only thing that could stop Genghis Khan was a horse.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Because he fell from his horse and that eventually led to his death.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So out of all the things that Genghis Khan did, it was a horse.

[A]

Which is crazy because the horses are how he was able to do everything he did.

[B]

Because of the riding across the continent.

[A]

Yeah. Because they were able to ride across the grass highway that would take them all the way from Mongolia all the way into Eastern Europe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was the speed of the Mongolian horse. Archer. And then also just, like, how they used horses and, like, understood how to. How the process and everything. They were able to build that grand empire.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then eventually, you know, breaking up and all those different things. And that's the reason why the Russians are like that.

[B]

I honestly can't say anything.

[A]

No, you can't. Because legit, the Russians, like, the Russian culture is so violently different than everybody else because they are a protection racket. After they were conquered by the Russians, by the Mongolians, when they came through When Genghis Khan and his crew came through, they were like, no, no, you're going to be our local guys. That's why they were so easy. When the Soviet Union fall to them, just go right back into mafia tactics. Yeah, because that's exactly what the czar and all the Boyers and all of the other different levels of it, it was all just protection rackets stacked on top of each other.

[B]

Let's talk about execution by elephant.

[A]

What?

[B]

Gunga Rao, I'm hoping I said that right. Was a method of capital punishment in South Southeast Asia, particularly in India, where Asian elephants were used to crush, dismember, or torture captives during public executions. The animals were trained to kill people immediately or to torture them slowly over a prolonged period of time.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I know. I didn't know elephants could do that.

[A]

I didn't know elephants could slowly torture. I did know. I did know about the one lady.

[B]

Oh, that one lady.

[A]

That one lady that came back. Yeah. They killed her and then they came back and then knocked her casket over you. Yeah, that. That was.

[B]

We never forget, dude. Never forget, dude.

[A]

I mean, it does make sense now that Republicans are pro capital punishment, now that I find out that elephants are tools of capital punishment in some areas.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Well, no, because I was thinking the horses, you know, the drawn and quartering the horses. Horses, you've explained to me now, can kill people.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But I feel like the horses aren't in on it. The horses aren't being trained. And like, they're not like, yeah, we're definitely doing this on purpose. They're getting whipped up on the butt and then running in a certain direction.

[A]

That's the thing.

[B]

But these elephants, they. You can look at an elephant and say, I need you to kill him immediately or torture them. The fact that the elephant's able to. To understand either of those, I don't think they are.

[A]

I think. I think. I think you're talking about two separate elephants. I think you got a slow kill elephant and you got a fast kill elephant. All right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because the thing is, is the elephant is. The elephant doesn't want to do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Because at any time, you know, this is one of those, like, whole horrifying zoo type of things or like a circus type of things. Like, they're obviously, they're. They're torturing the animal itself to make them, but I feel like you would. You wouldn't have two settings inside of one animal. It's also like they had so many. Yeah, they had a ton of elephants back in the day.

[B]

So it's like they were like cats.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Kind of just a ton of them.

[A]

Well, there was. There are a ton.

[B]

Hey, listen, I want to take a break.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then when we come back, I want to talk about the. What I found out was the most dangerous job.

[A]

The most dangerous job.

[B]

Inventor.

[A]

Inventor. Manage your finances and forgotten subscriptions with Rocket money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscription, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money helps you set goals and stay on budget by giving you personalized insights on your finances. See all your subscriptions in one place and cancel with just a few clicks. And we recently started using Rocket Money and it really helped you in a big way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you just had your big birthday and it was a big one. And Mrs. P usually uses her birthday to find out who she's been giving money to, because they all send you a birthday.

[B]

Yeah. You get a free coupon or something.

[A]

Yeah. Here's a coupon. Here's these things. And then that's how Mrs. P traditionally has gone through all of her different subscriptions and been like, oh, I didn't realize I was still paying for that. But instead, we used Rocket Money. We tied everything together, and then we immediately saw so many different subscriptions that we have not been using but have been paying for for a while now. Rocket Money's dashboard makes it simple to manage checking, savings, loan, and investment accounts. Rocket Money gives you a clear view of your finances on one screen. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join@rocket money.com TMT that's rocket money.com TMT rocketmoney.com TMT so this segment's about inventors. Yes, inventors and their crazy deaths.

[B]

They're. It's a crazy, dangerous job. I didn't even know this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't realize there was going to be a whole page of just inventors that died doing inventory.

[A]

No, that makes sense to me because, like, inventors, like, they're doing crazy, dangerous things. Oftentimes they don't have someone to test it on. And they want to prove that. They're so nuts. They want to prove that it's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's why Elon isn't an inventor. He calls himself a founder. Right. Even though in reality, what he is is an investor who steals money from the government and then moves things around in a shell game.

[B]

So there's this guy, Michael dackery.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

In 2009, he died in a crash that occurred while testing his flying taxi device he was trying to invent in 2009.

[A]

He tried to invent a flying taxi? Yeah, we have helicopters. Well, we have cars and we have planes.

[B]

I think he should have learned better from Henry smolinski, who in 1973 was killed during a test flight of his flying car. Now I need to show you a picture of this because it's a Ford Pinto that he turned into an airplane.

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[B]

And so the Ford Pinto in the sky didn't work out. What a shock.

[A]

No, I'm not shocked by that. Also, like, who wants that? Like, that doesn't make sense to me because again, this ends up in one of those situations when people have described flying cars. We met like a car thing, like the size of a car that can fly. And he was like, I know, we'll strap wings to a car.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then when you're done, like, you're like, oh, you're gonna go back to the airfield and then store those wings there. Like, it has to be all one part.

[B]

It's all about flying for these guys. They love Guy Oriole. I cannot say the same. Oral Vlad Coup. He died in his self constructed airplane because he was trying to fly across the Carpathian Mountains.

[A]

Oh, that's where the count is from. Yep, the count count. 1, 2, 3.

[B]

Carpathian Mountains.

[A]

Look how many inventors are falling from the sky. One inventor to inventor. Ah, yeah. The. It's just so fun. There was like such a string of people who just died trying to fly.

[B]

Let me tell you about the last one I wrote down.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

His name's from friends Reichelt. He was a tailor.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So he's makes clothing. He fell to his death from the first deck of the Eiffel Tower during the initial test of a coat parachute that he, he invented and sewn. He had promised authorities that he was going to use a test dummy in the coat. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So he convinces the people from the Eiffel Tower and the cops that once I get up there, I'm putting a test dummy in this outfit and I'm gonna throw that off, throw it over the side.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But instead, at the last minute, he confidently put the outfit on himself and dove off the side of the Eiffel Tower, leaping to his death, where a camera crew was taking pictures of this while it happened.

[A]

By the way, wow.

[B]

This is 1912. This is a picture of the suit. Oh my God, he looks like a flower.

[A]

How long did that take to put on?

[B]

It wasn't quick. They had to suspect something.

[A]

The thing is, it's crazy is there's so many parachute people died.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So many parachute people died because you have to test them. Yeah, you have to test them, and. Yeah, you could have used the dummy. This is incredible. First thing, I'm surprised the mustache didn't slow him down. Second thing, the part that's crazy to me is imagine being there. Like, all right, you got you filming. Yeah. He's gonna throw the dummy over. Is that a dummy? Like, that's, like, nuts. Like, how many people. I wonder if you go to Paris, if they're like, this is the spot.

[B]

No, they don't.

[A]

They don't.

[B]

They don't. They don't tower. There's no sign that says, this guy splatted right here.

[A]

That should be.

[B]

There's a sign on top that says, this is where Celine Dion sang.

[A]

Yeah, it's terrifying going up that high too.

[B]

I'm not gonna find.

[A]

I know you're not, but I saw a video of Christina Aguilera singing on top of the ice. Eiffel Tower.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she was, like, in the elevator, and she was, like, freaking out as they were going up higher, and then, like, the elevator stopped, and she's like.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Yeah, you don't like. You don't like elevators. You don't like going to the fourth floor. Must slash the. The top of the Eiffel Tower.

[B]

No, thank you.

[A]

But, yeah, I. I think that's.

[B]

Speaking of Eiffel Towers, let's talk about sex.

[A]

Jesus Christ. What a transition.

[B]

That's right, babes.

[A]

Wow. Wow. I worked so hard to not bring it up that entire segment. Yeah. And then you did it.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Well, because the next. The next thing I want to talk about is people that die during sex.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because that's a weird way to go. Or a fun way to go, depending. Right.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Now, in 1999, in Romania.

[A]

Oh, I don't like that.

[B]

A man and woman died of carbon monoxide poisoning because they were having sex in a car, which they had parked in a garage with the car still running.

[A]

That feels more Polish than Romanian, but. But I'm bummed, but, yeah, that's a. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. This sex feels really good. I know, man. I've never felt this way before.

[B]

I was super busy.

[A]

Dude, you got carbon monoxide.

[B]

I sure did get carbon monoxide, but not in a car.

[A]

Not in a car. And that was because we had a bad landlord and a Bad heating system.

[B]

Yeah. Landlord had Frankenstein. The heating system together, and it broke. And then carbon monoxide poisoning in the house.

[A]

And we took that settlement check money.

[B]

Yeah, we did.

[A]

And we went to Tampa, Florida, to watch the Phillies spring training.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I forgot that.

[A]

Yeah. From the carbon monoxide boys.

[B]

Because of the carbon monoxide Got my brain.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We hopped on Frontier Airlines.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Flew down and went.

[B]

Stepped a bus of the sky. Took that down there. Got to go see the Phils.

[A]

Yeah. Meanwhile, those two people, they just.

[B]

Yeah. No, honestly, the thing. The craziest thing about carbon monoxide poisoning, as someone who experienced it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was that it made my brain like I couldn't remember things that were, like, right in front of me in such a weird way. Like, it blocked something in my mind.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To the point where, like, at a certain point, I was so dizzy, I knew something was going on. So I went outside, I opened all the windows in the house, and I went out back to my backyard to get a breath of fresh air. Because I was like, I just need to breathe for a minute. Something's wrong. I couldn't place what was wrong. And I'll never forget our next door neighbor, Gare, was out back smoking a blunt, as he always was.

[A]

He wasn't. He was an old Vietnam veteran who had a marijuana tattoo he got in Tijuana on his arm.

[B]

Yeah. And he had marijuana plants growing in the backyard all the time.

[A]

And he also had a Street Fighter 2 arcade pinball machine in his house. And he always wanted me to come over and play. And I was like, gary, that's never gonna.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, I'm in the backyard trying to catch my bearings and figure out what's going on. And gayers next to me smoking a blunt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, Gary's like, yo, what's wrong, bubba? And I was like, I don't know. I think something's wrong in the house. I need to call the fire department. Do you know what number to call? And Garry's like, nine, one, one. And I was like, what's the number? What's the number for 9, 1, 1? And he goes, you're not okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he came around, he came out the front house and he got the dog because he knew that when the ambulance in the fire department got there, it'd be a whole hull of blue. So he came in the house and got all the pets out. So when they came through. And also he was concerned that they were going to get Carbon dioxide.

[A]

And meanwhile, I was at work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I think you had Gary call me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, talk to me. And I was just starting a new job in a company I was already working for, so I was in the middle of training, and I was like, that's okay. I guess. You're. She's okay. Like, yeah, she's with the fire department or whatever. They're putting her in an ambulance. I'm like, what do I do? And I looked at my trainer, and my trainer's husband was a chief of. Of a fire company.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, out in the suburbs. So she called him, and he was like, he wants to know why you're still at work and why you weren't at the hospital with your wife. I was like, because I don't know what to do.

[B]

I've never experienced this before.

[A]

We need the health insurance. So she can go into the decompression chamber or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, whatever, man.

[A]

It was a whole thing. But meanwhile, these Romanians, they were.

[B]

They were just boinking.

[A]

They were.

[B]

Let's talk about Pope John Paul. No, just Pope John the 12th. He has no Paul.

[A]

You ever just boink He.

[B]

Okay. So it is believed that Pope John the 12th died of a paralytic stroke suffered while having sex with a woman named Stefan.

[A]

Stefan.

[B]

Stefan.

[A]

We got to bring back names like Stefan. That's definitely. That's.

[B]

That's Lady Gaga's real name. No, her. That's not her.

[A]

Her name's Stephanie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think. But Stefan. So Italian.

[B]

But some people. See, this is the thing. The historical records are a little obscure because, you know, the Catholic Church don't want to tell you nothing about what happened here in this situation.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because some people believe that he actually died because the woman's husband threw him out of the window.

[A]

When he caught them, they defensated him. Yes, that's what that's called. There's a whole thing in Europe of people getting thrown out of windows.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They still do that in Russia, but.

[B]

Yeah, they sure do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But also, there are some people that wrote the history. History down that he was actually beaten to death with a hammer when the husband came home. So either he died from a stroke, was thrown out a window, or was hammered to death with Stefan. Nada. Who knows?

[A]

I'm going to go.

[B]

Not me.

[A]

I'm going to go ahead and say that he was probably hammered. Not by a hammer, though, I think. I mean. I mean, listen, he's old. I'm guessing he's an older guy because he's a Pope.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, that does happen sometimes. Sometimes, you know, old guys, they. They just. They have a little death so hard, it becomes a big death.

[B]

So, yeah. British actor Patrick Troughton. I guess it's Trouton. Trout. And Patrick Trouton.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who played the second Doctor of Doctor who.

[A]

Yeah, he's the one with the penny whistle or whatever they have.

[B]

He died in March of 1987 of a heart attack in his hotel room. It has been strongly rumored and implied that he died during intercourse with a fan he had met at a convention he was attending.

[A]

Mm. So that fan is probably like, oh, no. Is he going to regenerate? No, regenerate, Regenerate. Turn into David Tennant. Oh, my God. That's insane.

[B]

Her pussy is called the Dalek.

[A]

Whoa. That's wild. Yeah, babe. Sorry, that was too far.

[B]

Not sorry.

[A]

I'm surprised you didn't go with the plunger joke.

[B]

In 2013, a man, imagine if he's.

[A]

Hooking up with somebody, he's like, oh, he's bigger on the inside. Okay, so.

[B]

No, no, see, no, you took it too far.

[A]

I said the TARDIS joke is too far. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmigiano bowl is delicious with scratch made marinara sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callender's what having it all Tastes like.

[B]

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[A]

Fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack.

[B]

At cvs, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you.

[A]

Store hours vary by location.

[B]

In 2013 called me master. A man and woman in Zimbabwe were having sex outdoors and they were attacked by a lion.

[A]

That's not fun. No, that's terrifying.

[B]

I know, but it's. It's a crazy way to go.

[A]

Yeah. They both died.

[B]

The woman died. The guy didn't die.

[A]

Oh, the guy was faster.

[B]

That's usually the problem.

[A]

Well, hey, what Hashtag, not all men.

[B]

Okay. Felix Fower Faure. He was the president of France from 1895 to 1899.

[A]

And his wife had a penis.

[B]

Is.

[A]

No, that's not a Candace Owens show. We should put her in the thumbnail, though. It does well when you put Candace Owens in the thumbnail. We learned that last week.

[B]

It's widely reported that he died while receiving fellatio from his mistress, Marguerite. The cause of death was listed as cerebral hemorrhage.

[A]

You know what? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Marguerite.

[A]

Blowing your dome while getting it. That sounds pretty French. That is. I. That's. Can I tell you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very French president.

[B]

Very French.

[A]

Very French president, Marguerite. I wish. You know what? Politicians, they used to just go.

[B]

They. The politicians used to just go.

[A]

They used to just go. And now they just stick around.

[B]

Nelson Rockefeller.

[A]

That's a politician.

[B]

Former vice President of the United States and heir to the Rockefeller family fortune.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Died in 1979 of a heart attack at age 70. Rumored to have been caused by an orgasm during intercourse with his secretary, Megan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The unusual circumstances surrounding his death caused New York magazine to write, quote, nelson thought he was coming, but he was going.

[A]

Whoa, whoa.

[B]

New York magazine, yo.

[A]

Oh, my God, that is such an incredible line. That is. That number one. That's up there with headless body found in topless bar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is nuts. Number one. Number two.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He was Gerald Ford's vice president.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Gerald Ford, famously is one of the only presidents in history to have never been elected, even as a vice president, because he replaced Richard Nixon, but before that, he replaced Spiro Agnew.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And if you look at the crimes those two committed, well, fucking nowhere near. Like when you pine for the old days. Oh, a little Watergate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A little Spiro Agnew real estate venture.

[B]

A little con on.

[A]

Oh, that would have been nice. That would have been nice. But, yeah, no, they. Nelson Rockefeller.

[B]

Those things were not nice, by the way.

[A]

No, they were not nice, comparatively.

[B]

I just. I just know somebody's gonna be like, you're downplaying.

[A]

No one ever got squirted in the face by their wife for breaking up Watergate. Too often. Okay.

[B]

Sir Billy Sneddon, an Australian politician and former leader of the Liberal Party.

[A]

Which is conservative down there. That's conservative because it's backwards. Right.

[B]

Just like the toilets. Back to toilets. He, quote, expired at the peak of physical Congress is how they described it in the News Media in 1987. Nineteen years later, his son and lover of the same woman who Snedden was having sex with at the time of his death, was quoted as saying, quote, I'm sure the old man went out happy. Anyone would be proud to die on the job.

[A]

Oh God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, is that why they call it Congress? Because they're all us all the time?

[B]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

I think that's at the height of congress. And then it turned out this politician's son is banging his mist. His. The mistress he died inside of.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's weird.

[A]

Australia. What the fuck is your problem?

[B]

They got too many spiders and snakes and things that can kill you down there.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

They're living on the edge down there.

[A]

Oh God. And all they exit export is like health gurus. That's it. That's like, that's their only.

[B]

Hey, whoa.

[A]

They have health gurus and they have koalas with chlamydia.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And they have. What's the other one? The. Who's the, the. The gay wolverine. Hugh Jackman.

[B]

Hugh Jackman. I'm gonna, I'm gonna give you this from Australia. Great at mullets.

[A]

They are good at mullets.

[B]

When it comes to a mullet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I see an Australian with a mullet, I'm like, that's a good looking haircut right there.

[A]

That is a good look.

[B]

You see an American with a mullet, you're like, no, thank you.

[A]

Yeah, American mullets. And versus, let me tell you about.

[B]

The last story I found about dying by sexual intercourse.

[A]

Okay? Sex, death.

[B]

Sex death, okay. In 2020, a 35 year old man collapsed and died in the company of a prostitute in Malawi. Local police and later the general practitioner of the nearby health center examined his body and determined that the cause of death to be, quote, excessive orgasm caused blood vessels in the brain to rupture. Police said the sex worker would not be prosecuted because she, quote, committed no crime by being too sweet for the man.

[A]

Too sweet. That's what they look like. Ah, too sweet. But they, they literally, they were like, ah, pussy that good ain't a crime. That's so crazy.

[B]

They said we can't lock her up. We can't hide her away from the people.

[A]

If anything, it's just going to make her stronger.

[B]

Oh, people knock it like, oh, like when you hear the drugs might kill you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like, oh, try those.

[A]

Well, you know, I'll never forget a friend of mine was telling me about he knew a drug addict he was talking to and the guy was saying about like this specific drug and how it almost killed him and he Was. But it was so trippy. And my buddy looked him dead in the face, went, yeah, man, death is trippy. Think about it all the time. Especially because, like, you don't have in there, like all the people. When I was in high school.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We had a huffing death that happened in our area.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Cuz you're suburb kids.

[A]

Yeah, we're suburb kids. Yeah. Suburb kids love a huff.

[B]

They love duster.

[A]

I know this isn't in your list, but anyway, they. These. What it was was these four girls were huffing duster in a car.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they got on the highway and they hit a tree.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it was real tragic. The tree was across the street from our gym teacher's house.

[B]

Oh boy.

[A]

All right. Different school district. But the gym teacher was like, we got to teach these kids to not huff. Keyboard cleaner.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm glad he did because, you know, we're stupid. We're dumb kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so they showed us this video. They took everyone in the school.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The entire school. They took us to the auditorium. It's 9:00am yeah. They put on the big projector. They roll this tape. And it's about the horrors of huffing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they start showing us people who are huffing gold paint. Yeah. That's hilarious. I don't know if you've ever seen somebody because the huffers believe that you need to have. The metal paints are better. So there's so many funny videos of people who look like they just sucked off the Tin Man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or like they like they blew Lieutenant Commander Data because they just have. They're just gold because they're spraying in a bag and they're hopping the bag. And so it's all crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then they got to the tragic one, which was this. This younger guy, about our age. I think he was like 14 or 15. And his whole thing is he liked to spray into a bag and then he would put the bag over his head and then he would huff in the bag.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

And he would tie it off with a belt. No. And he did all this in a shed in the backyard that he would lock himself in. And then he would be a teenager.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Well, he died.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He died with a bag over his head, belt around his neck, pants around his ankles. And his mom had to get a neighbor to cut the lock to get in.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

And she was describing this in detail to us.

[B]

No.

[A]

And like the whole place is full of teenagers who are just laughing. Laughing for it. I want you to picture a thousand teenagers be like, I didn't know you could die like that. Oh. And then his mind, then they keep showing his picture, and I'm like, gee, you're in hell. You're in hell. You're 14 and you're dead. And schools of killed kids you've never met are like that. It was so and so. I think about it all the time. Yeah. Because he went out there to his whack shack sometimes he went to come into his wax shack, but he never came out.

[B]

Never came out.

[A]

No.

[B]

I didn't know many people doing Duster back in the day. No, it wasn't thing that. But the only. The real introduction I had to duster and huffing is I think, the greatest example of why not to do it, which is the intervention episode with the duster girl.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Ever watch Intervention? Knows about the dust. She started a cult. Yeah, she started a cult. I should. On her because she, like, got famous on Facebook after that episode, and then she slowly made people join, which is crazy.

[A]

It's also. It's back in the day when, like, famous on Facebook was like 8,000 followers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. You know, it's back there with, like, YouTube when they're like, this lady got 10,000 views on YouTube. And then she's like in a parade, like a literal parade in her small town.

[B]

And then now Mr. Beast comes and just kicks over your table if you have less than 10,000.

[A]

Yeah, exactly, Mr.

[B]

Beast. But that's everybody that I wrote down. But there's a lot more.

[A]

There's so many. That's a crazy amount of deaths. I'm going to tell you that. My. I think my favorite is dude shooting himself in the tummy with the coconut. And it's not because he's in Pennsylvania. Just because I can just like being like, how do you open this thing? Oh, like, that's just.

[B]

Why not just shoot the coconut?

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Well, don't waste bullets. But also, like, you didn't have a. It's just like when it reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer has a gun.

[B]

I don't know that one.

[A]

There's an episode of the Simpsons where Homer buys a gun and he literally tries to use the gun as the tool for everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Including changing the channel. He's, like, shooting the TV and stuff like that. He's opening beers with it.

[B]

America.

[A]

And I just. It's very America.

[B]

America.

[A]

It's very America.

[B]

I don't know if I have a favorite one. It might be this squirrel Eiffel Tower guy. Because the outfit and mustache is so funny.

[A]

And when you say squirrel, it's because you're picturing as a flying.

[B]

He looks like a flying squirrel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that mustache. He looks like a person.

[A]

I will say every time I've ever heard about a parachute inventor falling. And actually, it's a real thing with actual parachutes. You know, if you stop. If you pack parachutes, especially for the army, at any point in time, you can be challenged to go up and jump with that parachute on.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's to make sure that the people who are packing the parachutes are packing it as well enough for themselves to survive. Because, you know, if you're packing for somebody else eventually. Listen, you've done roll ups.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At a. At a restaurant, right?

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

You're never challenged to be like, oh, yeah, you think, you think that knife and fork are sp. Atlas.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Go eat a steak with them. That's never gonna happen. But if you're in the army and you're packing parachutes all day, it's a. It's a monotonous job of folding these things and making sure they're not tangled.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so eventually they wouldn't put me.

[B]

In charge of that job.

[A]

No.

[B]

They'd have me peeling potatoes.

[A]

You would be a potato. Yeah, that would be in it. But that, that's, that's. But that's the thing that they'll do. They'll. But go up there with it.

[B]

My favorite, I think, because I've decided my favorite is the lady that died in the haunted thing in Disney. Because again, that would be so fun for me if I was a ghost.

[A]

I would say haunting Disney adults would.

[B]

Be fun, but I'd be.

[A]

I feel like they're very.

[B]

I'd be stuck. Ha. Hershey Park.

[A]

Haunting Hershey Park. You show up at the chocolate fountain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The ride where you learned how chocolate's made.

[A]

That's the one I'm talking about. Yeah. When they claim it's a chocolate river and you're like, that's not chocolate.

[B]

I've watched Charlie of the Chocolate Factory.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Listen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You ready to go?

[A]

That has been our episode. So I hope you guys live a long and prosperous life. That's. That's about it from us. 5 stars, likes, comments subscribe all those different things right here. And we'll see you next week. Every week. Sunday at noon. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs open. It's too many tabs. Remember to smile. The holidays are all about connection, good food, good friends, and those cozy moments. This season, skip boring mocktails and celebrate with rk, the world's first zero proof Spirits. All the taste and warmth of your favorite holiday pours with zero alcohol, zero guilt and the patented War molecule for that festive kick. Perfect for toasting, hosting or gifting. Celebrate freely with RK0 proof. Visit rkbeverages.com.