YOU ASKED WE ANSWERED | TMT 173

Summary

Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500 — Episode 173

"YOU ASKED WE ANSWERED" | April 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively Q&A episode of Too Many Tabs, husband-and-wife duo Mrs. P and Alex Perlman (a.k.a. Pearlmania500) answer questions submitted by their Patreon community. From their origin story as a couple to favorite guilty pleasures, wild job histories, behind-the-scenes podcasting realities, and lighthearted debates, this episode offers a candid and often hilarious glimpse into their lives and dynamic. The episode leans heavily into personal stories, warm banter, and honest reflections on work, marriage, creativity, and everything in between.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. How They Met (02:11–08:45)

• Origin Story: Met at an open mic comedy night at Urban Saloon (still open) in Philadelphia, near Eastern State Penitentiary.
• Mrs. P was supporting a nervous female friend starting stand-up; Alex was the host, paid in beer.
• Alex describes being dared to talk to Mrs. P: “You won't talk to her... And I gripped him up by the shirt and I was like, oh, yeah, watch this. And then I walked on stage and proceeded to hit on her.” (05:08)
• Memorable interaction: Mrs. P heckles from the audience, “If you didn’t have a microphone, you wouldn’t be talking to me.” Alex agrees, admits his stage boldness.
• Social connection: Mrs. P’s coworker confirmed Alex was “cool” after vetting.
• As Alex summarizes, “I hosted an open mic, did crowd work, got a wife. No one else in the history of comedy has been able to do that.” (07:54)
• They eventually had their bachelor/ette party at the same bar, doing a roast (“You won.” – Alex, 08:45).

2. Why Mrs. P Became a Paralegal (08:48–12:27)

• Transitioned from restaurant work, pursued night classes at community college.
• Initially enrolled in criminal justice but found it was essentially cop/prison training—not her desired path.
• Switched to Paralegal Studies after advice from a mentor, found it more aligned with her interest in the law and justice.
• Alex appreciated the community spirit at Mrs. P’s graduation: "Everyone there has, like, overcome something... It's a party." (12:02)
• Mrs. P credits mentor support and camaraderie of adult learners for her journey.

3. Most Badass Thing Each Has Done (12:29–15:16)

• Mrs. P: Alex instantly says “get sober” (12:36). Mrs. P adds, “I quit booze, drinking, drugs, and smoking.”
• Alex: Mrs. P nominates his stand-up comedy career—“It takes a lot of moxie to get up on stage… It’s a very interesting thing to do. And brave.” (13:30)
• Alex offers a different answer: “Screaming at Mike Lindell at the Democratic National [Convention].” (13:34)
• They reflect on generational differences, comedy milestones, and life changes since meeting.

4. Dream Jobs If Not Podcasting (15:35–19:50)

• Alex: Wanted to be a political campaign manager—“the good Karl Rove, or a good Steve Bannon,” blending behind-the-scenes strategy with knowledge of social media and manipulation (16:39).
• Mrs. P: If independently wealthy, would pursue law for the ACLU, but ultimate aspiration is a Martha Stewart-esque lifestyle brand: “Outside in the garden... talking about tulips, showing you how to roast vegetables... selling a line of lotions and beautiful stuff.” (18:22)
• Discussion on trends in ‘trad wife’ content and the power of having a “white guy” amplify women’s observations on social platforms.

5. Alex’s Cooking Skills (21:22–25:39)

• Mrs. P is asked if Alex has a dish he can make from scratch; both agree his culinary skills are limited, especially due to her celiac disease.
• Alex laments: “The things that I can cook will kill you.”
• Fondue and “cook your own food” restaurant anecdotes; strong stance against “cooking at a restaurant.”
• Mrs. P says he can make scrambled eggs with good results—“But I don't make them enough. And I'm just not confident.” (25:11)
• Reference to their Patreon show, Vibing with the Food Idiot: “You explain a meal to me...” (25:16)

6. Guilty Pleasure TV (25:44–30:44)

• Alex: Would watch more anime, but mostly limited now due to having a toddler; admits to using father-in-law’s Amazon login (“We’re borrowing legally”). (26:34)
• Mrs. P: “If I am overly stressed, there is nothing that silences the mind than the dulcet tones of [the Kardashians]... any type of reality show where we got a bunch of gals together.” (27:15)
• Both love “Traitors”; Mrs. P fast-forwards the physical challenges, prefers watching reality stars in silly scenarios.
• Comfort TV: “I put on old episodes of Community, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec...” – Alex (28:39)
• Both hype “The Fallen Rise of Reggie Dinkins” on Peacock.
• Discuss downsides of modern streaming—“life is a series of menus” (30:25)

7. Job Histories: Rapid-Fire Rundown (33:07–41:04)

• Both have had a dizzying array of jobs, from McDonald's, pizza shops, banking, dry cleaners, security guard, rider for Lion King national tour (Mrs. P), campaign worker, barista, karate instructor, ear piercer, data analyst, bank teller, beauty school, and more.
• Stories of quitting jobs dramatically; running theme is flexibility, survival, and rolling with the punches.

8. Combating Burnout (42:49–47:56)

• “This [episode] is the break glass in case of emergency episode.” – Alex (42:53)
• Admits research- and content-heavy deep-dive formats can be draining.
• Mrs. P values rigid scheduling and time-blocking to delineate work from rest.
• Having a toddler has enforced necessary boundaries: “You can’t burn out, you have a toddler.” – Alex (46:26)
• They’re considering a summer break for the show to manage well-being.

9. “The Woker” Character—Will He Return? (47:57–52:29)

• Alex’s “Woker” persona from prior season debated; Mrs. P resists bringing heavy satire into Too Many Tabs regularly: “I fundamentally like for Too Many Tabs to be an escape for an hour or two.”
• Discuss how recording early in the week means the nation’s news “vibe” can shift by Sunday.

10. Mrs. P’s Cardigan Sources, Favorite Gardening Crops (54:37–56:37)

• Fashion: Cardigans mainly acquired at TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Kohl’s, and Lands’ End.
• Gardening: “I love growing carrots. They are delicious and easy to grow.” (56:37)
• Garlic is also a favorite—“She's really easy. You just put that in the ground in the fall, and then you pull it out in June.” (56:19)
• Laments struggles with potatoes; enjoys the trial-and-error of gardening.

11. Mrs. P’s Musical Tastes (57:21–58:48)

• Eclectic: Classic club hits (“If people were slamming their face into a wall at a dark club in 2009... That’s what Mrs. P [likes].”), Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac, Lana Del Rey, Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson, and Sesame Street’s “Monster in the Mirror.”
• It’s all about “vibes” and emotional resonance.

12. Pickle Divide (!): (59:17–62:32)

• Mrs. P adores all pickles—eggs, radishes, cucumber, green beans. Alex abhors them, traumatized by childhood summers spent in pickle-smelling Southern kitchens and overexposure at Jewish delis.

13. Alex’s Favorite Comedians (62:19–68:42)

• Early influences: Bill Cosby (before the revelations), Jonathan Winters.
• Admired comics: Eddie Izzard (“She’s incredible”), Dave Chappelle (acknowledges controversy), Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Cat Williams, Kyle Kinane, John Mulaney, Fortune Feimster, Wanda Sykes, Joan Rivers, Paula Poundstone, Kathy Griffin, Chris Fleming, and Stavros Halkias.
• Discusses how the structure of comedy sets changed for the online era; best material now goes up front due to viewer retention analytics (66:21).

14. Most Uplifting Episode? (69:03–71:41)

• Favorites: Bob’s Red Mill (“They sent us merch!”), Dr. Bronner’s, Burt’s Bees (“not as horrendous as many of our others”), and the George Dale episode: “Against insurmountable odds... he stood up to [a racist local government]... The reveal that he was doing it for money is so crazy.” (70:35)
• Also shout-outs to John Brown episode (“Great, uplifting episode... but he dies at the end.”)

15. Spooky Interests & Beauty School Mishap (71:41–74:14)

• Mrs. P would love to ghost hunt on the Queen Mary (“It’s been on my bucket list”).
• Asked to leave cosmetology school due to severe allergic reaction to perm solution. Would consider returning now that PA rules changed.

16. Would They Ever Return to Regular Jobs? (75:36–82:44)

• Both say yes, without fear. The idea of “falling back” into normal jobs doesn’t scare them; adaptability is their superpower.
• “They don’t write in your obituary that you paid your mortgage on time. They will write about all the things that you tried…” – Mrs. P (79:14)
• “I’ll go work at a fucking gas station, I got no problem with that. I’ll be happy doing it.” – Alex (80:44)
• Caution against idolizing “social media careers”—they’re just jobs, not identities.

17. Wedding and Marriage Advice (82:49–86:46)

• “It’s your party. Don’t let anybody else tell you otherwise… The most important part is signing that document.” – Alex (83:08)
• Marriage is the beginning, not the end.
• When in doubt, apologize and hug it out: “Just lose the argument... The sooner you can say that to your spouse, the better.” – Alex (84:16)
• Stay interested in each other’s thoughts, share curiosity, don’t take each other for granted.
• Do not model your relationship on theirs or anyone else’s—“Ours is weird… off-camera shit, sometimes… you don’t want this.” (86:07)
• Both use self-deprecating humor to diffuse tension.

18. Lightening Round—What Would They Save in a Fire? (87:08–89:51)

• Mrs. P: Her tomato plant starts—“I could not let them burn.”
• Alex: His Nintendo Switch 2 (and its Zelda save), maybe his phone for practical reasons.
• They joke about what would actually happen if the dog needed carrying: “He would run the opposite direction. You're being weird. And I'm like, it's on fire!” – Alex (88:26)

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Notable Quotes

• Alex: “I went. I hosted an open mic, did crowd work, got a wife. No one else in the history of comedy has been able to do that.” (07:53)
• Mrs. P: “I quit booze, drinking, drugs, and smoking.” (12:56)
• Alex: “You can’t burn out, you have a toddler.” (46:26)
• Mrs. P: “If I was exuberantly wealthy, I would go back to school and fully get my law degree—and practice for the ACLU... But also, I would love to be a Martha Stewart situation.” (18:02)
• Alex on working again: “I’ll go work at a fucking gas station... I’ll be happy doing it.” (80:44)
• Mrs. P on obituary advice: “They don’t write in your obituary that you paid your mortgage on time. They will write about all the things that you tried…” (79:14)

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Memorable Moments

• The impromptu roast at their bachelor/ette party (08:35)
• Trying and failing to enjoy the fondue “Melting Pot” experience (22:37)
• Mrs. P’s dramatic Lion King tour years wrangling child actors (39:00)
• Mrs. P’s epic pickle vs. Alex’s childhood pickle trauma (59:17–62:32)
• Fortune Feimster making Alex’s mom spit-take beer from laughter (63:36)
• In-depth, honest conversation about returning to “regular” jobs and rejecting social media career fearmongering (75:36–82:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |----------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:11 | How they met, open mic story | | 08:48 | Why Mrs. P became a paralegal | | 12:29 | Most badass things they’ve done | | 15:35 | Dream jobs if not podcasting | | 21:22 | Can Alex cook? | | 25:44 | Guilty pleasure TV | | 33:07 | Job histories | | 42:49 | Combating burnout | | 47:57 | Will “the Woker” return? | | 54:37 | Cardigan and gardening favorites (Mrs. P) | | 57:21 | Mrs. P’s music tastes | | 59:17 | Pickle argument | | 62:19 | Alex’s favorite comedians | | 69:03 | Most uplifting episodes | | 71:41 | Spooky stories & beauty school mishap | | 75:36 | Would they go back to hourly jobs? | | 82:49 | Wedding and marriage advice | | 87:08 | What would you save from a burning house? |

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Tone & Style

The episode is warm, irreverent, fast-paced, and self-aware, with plenty of affectionate ribbing, asides, and improvisational bits. The “research” theme quietly simmers underneath, but the real heart is the rapport between the hosts and their open roll-call of past jobs, experiences, and anxieties. The answers are raw and honest, often weaving from laughter to sincerity without missing a beat.

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For Listeners: Why This Episode Is Worth Your Time

You’ll laugh, you’ll relate, you’ll probably reflect on your own circuitous journey, jobs, and relationships. Their on-mic candor brings you right to the kitchen table with them—whether you’re looking for inspiration, commiseration, or just a well-defended opinion about pickles.

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Remember to smile. (90:48)

Transcript

[Mrs. P]

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[Alex Perlman]

go to for premium handcrafted Western boots. Stop by any store location for a warm welcome, a cold drink in hand, and a truly one of a kind shopping experience. Let our friendly staff help you find your new Go to boots, whether your first pair or your 50th. Finish things off with a complimentary boot brand to make them extra special. Come for the boots. Stay for the good times. To Covis for Forever West. You've got questions. We've got answers. On this week's episode, we open it up to our patreon and ask them, what do you got? What do you want to know about Mrs. P and Mr. P? And they came in with some hot ones. So sit back, relax and find out on this Q and A episode of Too Many Tabs. Remember to smile. Welcome to Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit next to each other and at a table. And it's our annual.

[Mrs. P]

Annual.

[Alex Perlman]

And I don't think we did one actually last year.

[Mrs. P]

We did it.

[Alex Perlman]

I don't think we did one last year. But it's our semiannual.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

We try to remember to do them. Q and A episode.

[Mrs. P]

That's right. We're answering your questions.

[Alex Perlman]

Yep. Your questions. Specifically, your questions from our patreon@Pearl Mania500.net

[Mrs. P]

but yet another reason to join our patreon.

[Alex Perlman]

Another reason. And this was also open to everyone. Everyone that was in the free tier and the paid tier. Everyone just go over to promania500.net and you can subscribe and you can get push notifications about some of the things we have out there. But let's go ahead and jump right into the questions because you guys had a ton of them.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Alex Perlman]

It's so many.

[Mrs. P]

A lot of new people.

[Alex Perlman]

A lot of new people.

[Mrs. P]

And they're very interested in our lore.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. They want the parasocial.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Yeah. So first question. How did you two meet?

[Alex Perlman]

Okay. How did we meet you?

[Mrs. P]

Oh, you want to tell the story, I think.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay. I Feel like if I tell the story, you're going to correct me.

[Mrs. P]

That's true.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. So why don't you tell us?

[Mrs. P]

We met at an open mic comedy show.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

At a bar that no longer exists called the Urban Saloon.

[Alex Perlman]

I think it does still exist.

[Mrs. P]

It does.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, it still exists.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, whatever. So there was this. The bar in Fairmount across from the penitentiary.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Eastern State Penitentiary.

[Mrs. P]

Yep. And so I had gone to this open mic with a girlfriend of mine who was getting into stand up comedy and starting. Stand up comedy is really scary.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

And so I would go to these open mics with her just. Just to be someone in the audience to make her feel comfortable and hype her up before she got on stage and help her get loose with all the. The jitters that you get.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. It's also a room full of open mic male open mic comedians, many of who are bags of shit.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

So it's good to have a friend around to be like, I know that guy is creepy and insane.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Don't talk to that guy.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so I went into this open mic with her.

[Alex Perlman]

Yep.

[Mrs. P]

And this comedian who was the host of the show was getting up in between each standup comedian and he's like, introducing the next guy, thanking the last guy, maybe telling a joke or two. And that host was Alex Perlman.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And he started doing a little bit of crowd work.

[Alex Perlman]

Only time with me. Yep.

[Mrs. P]

In the audience, talking a lot of shit, some might say being like, look at this hipster. I had a shaved head at the time.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I was in. I was in.

[Alex Perlman]

You were in, like a leather skirt.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

You looked like you. You. It was meant to say, when she walked in the room, everyone was like, y, what the hell?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because, like, I don't know if any of you ever been to an open mic night for a comedy club or at a cafe or at a bar. You don't see incredibly gorgeous, attractive women walk into them and sit down to watch the show. That doesn't happen. It's not supposed to happen. Like, she looked like she should have been in Miami or like, like on like a Russian yacht. Like, that's what she looked like. She looked like. It was insane. I was like, ah, this is crazy. And so when she walked in, every single comic was like, talking about her. Like, oh, my God. And you know, these are all guys are like, I could do anything except talk to a woman. And I was hosting and they were paying me in beer and I wanted Coors Light and they kept giving. No, I wanted Yingling.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And they kept giving me Coors Light and I was drinking them fast because I was trying to catch the server to be like, no, I want yingling this time. And every time I came back, it was. They had refilled it without telling me. They just already just switched it out.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

While I was like. In the two minutes I was on stage, which was insane. So I'd had like a lot.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

A lot of silver bullets in me to put down the werewolf. And then a comic walked up to me and he was like, yo, that. That girl in front row is really hot. And I was like, yeah, she's pretty hot. And he was like, you won't talk to her. And I was like, what? And he was like, you're a. You won't say anything. And I gripped him up by the shirt and I was like, oh, yeah, watch this. And then I walked on stage and proceeded to hit on her. And then after the show, I talked to her a little bit and I said, I'm kind of a big deal on Facebook. I think I had like 200 Facebook followers at the time. Some kind of a big deal on Facebook. You should find me. And she did.

[Mrs. P]

That's okay.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, she did.

[Mrs. P]

She did. Found me some things. Number one, you were talking a lot of shit from the stage. I eventually yelled back at you from the audience, and I was like, listen, if you didn't have a microphone, you wouldn't be talking to me.

[Alex Perlman]

And I said, yeah, that's correct. I said, that is correct. And then I have a microphone, spotlights, and an audience.

[Mrs. P]

And then I got a big applause break for that. For calling you out. And then afterwards you did. You're like, I got a lot of people on Facebook. And I was like, what? What a weird thing to say.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But what actually happened? And the reason that I actually did talk to you is because I had a co worker at the bar I was working at.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Who did improv.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

And she knew you because improv and a comedy is like a. They're. They're not the same circle, but they're like a little Venn diagram.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, there's a little. There's a, there's a little overlap. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And she was like, no, no, he's a cool. He's cool.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Like, she gave you the. He's cool.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Cuz she and I had gone on a date. Yeah, we want a date. And like about 20 minutes in the date, we're like, oh, this won't work. That was it. It was just like, oh, this Won't work. And it was fine. And that's why, if you go on a date with somebody, be nice, because you never know how it could turn out.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

You know, can end up with.

[Mrs. P]

Did you want to tell them the story about what you actually said to that comedian?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. So years later, I was talking to that comedian. His name was Mike. And I was talking to him. I said, hey, man, if you hadn't told me that I was. I was too afraid to talk to her, I never would have. And he's like, that's not what happened at all. I said, what? He was like, yeah, you were, like, leaning against the wall. You look like you were dying, you were so drunk. And I asked if you were okay. And then you said. And I said, what? What are you talking about? And then you said, I'm not the pussy. You're the pussy. And then you shoved me against the wall. And then you stumbled towards the stage. And he said, it was the craziest thing. He said, as my foot hit the stage, I sobered up. I was, like, stumbling. I looked like the drunken master, like. And when the second my foot hit the stage, I was like, all right, code up next to the stage, like, that was. Yeah, it's a wild super. Because also, part of the thing is, when you get on stage, your adrenaline starts growing, going. Time slows down in this weird way. What feels like five minutes on stage is usually like 30 seconds.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

So it's a really bizarre time. And. Yeah. So I don't do crowd work anymore because I don't want to get married again.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, no, no, thank you.

[Alex Perlman]

I joke with people all the time. I'm like, I went. I hosted an open mic, did crowd work, got a wife.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

No one else in the history of comedy has been able to do that.

[Mrs. P]

No. Matt Rice keeps trying. He keeps trying to find one.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. So funny story. I went on TV with his opener. What? Yeah, I did. Mike. Oh, yeah, I went on Mike Jerrick. It's a local Fox 29 show. They have a late night show for our local Fox channel. And they're like, yeah, can you come on and be a co host? I was like, sure. And they're like, yeah, we have this comedian here. And I'm like, talking to him like, so what are you, like, you're doing local? He's like, yeah. He's like, usually I tour with. I'm Matt Rife's opener. And I was like, pop. What? He was all right. He was fine.

[Mrs. P]

He was fine.

[Alex Perlman]

He was fine.

[Mrs. P]

What was I Thinking. No, that's all. That's a. That's a good answer. That's how we met.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, I know. What I was thinking is that bar, years later, when we got married, we had our bachelor bachelorette party there. We did a roast.

[Alex Perlman]

We did a roast. And you won.

[Mrs. P]

That's true.

[Alex Perlman]

Yep. Next question.

[Mrs. P]

Next question. Why did Mrs. P. Become a paralegal?

[Alex Perlman]

Okay. Why did you?

[Mrs. P]

Because I was trying desperately together out of the restaurant industry. And so I went back to. To school. I went to community college and took night classes, which was a real bummer because it meant that I had to shift all of my waitressing and bartending shifts to daytime lunch or brunch shifts, which is a real drop in the cash.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But I made an investment into making less money so that I could spend that money to get an education to then hopefully make more money. Yeah, whatever. And I originally was.

[Alex Perlman]

And I was cool and supportive about it the entire time.

[Mrs. P]

Definitely wasn't weird and panicky about money.

[Alex Perlman]

Definitely wasn't like, yeah, freaking out at all. And definitely wasn't like, wow, you want to spend all this time with books and not me.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, that sounds right.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so. And then I was in community college, and I was studying criminal justice. And as I was like. Because I was always interested in the history of justice, so, like, I was looking at it from this justice perspective and the law, and I was like, this is something I'm interested in. But as I was in those classes, I realized it was very much education on how to become a cop. And, like, you actually don't even need a college degree to become a cop, So I don't know why they have that. Whatever.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

You can actually be too educated to be a cop.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, that's true.

[Mrs. P]

You can test out because you're too smart.

[Alex Perlman]

And a lot of criminal justice majors also end up as a. They're also going for management positions inside of prisons.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. No, I'm not doing.

[Alex Perlman]

So it's like, another way to become, like, a super.

[Mrs. P]

As I was, like, learning, I was like, I don't want to be a part of our air quotes. Criminal justice system.

[Alex Perlman]

The prison industrial complex.

[Mrs. P]

Didn't want to become part of the police force. I was really looking at all the things, and I was like, but I'm so interested in the law and the study of law.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so I talked to a teacher that was like, a trusted confidant, and they were like, you should switch over to the paralegal studies program. And I did. I went over to the Paralegal studies program. I changed all of my classes at that next semester. Everything that I could carry over, I carried over.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And, yeah, it was great. I had a really awesome mentor who was a professor at another big college, and she taught me night classes to help adults that were trying to get out of, you know, whatever issue they were going through. Because a lot of the people I went to school with were grown women who were trying to get another job that was better paying.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so that's where I landed. And she was so great. And I'll never forget, she was like, you got to do this. Like, she really laid out for me how to get a job, what to talk to different attorneys about, blah, blah. And so I had a great time becoming a paralegal from the Community College of Philadelphia.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. And I do want to say it was so great with the day that she graduated. We're able to go there and have your family there to be able to be part of it. And also, if you ever get a chance to go to the Community College of Philadelphia graduation, it's a party. It's an experience, because everyone there has, like, overcome something. It's like the difference between going. Going to, like, a gay wedding in 2015 versus going to any straight wedding. Like, every gay wedding I ever went to in, like, especially pre2020, was tears, cries all day.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because you're like. You guys had to overcome so much struggle and all these different things, and the whole world was against you, and you were able to find your love. And it was the same thing. Like that. Like, with the Community College of Philadelphia, there were so many people.

[Mrs. P]

Every time they announced a name. Air horns.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Screaming. It was incredible.

[Alex Perlman]

I heard vuvuzelas for the first time in, like, a decade. It was crazy, but it was such an amazing.

[Mrs. P]

They have to rent out Temple because they'd use the Leacor Center.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

It was every time. Incredible.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. It's so good. Okay, next question.

[Mrs. P]

Answer for each other.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

What is the most badass thing you think the other has done in their life?

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, I got an easy one for you.

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex Perlman]

Get sober. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Having quit smoking. Yeah. No, that would be the thing. That's the thing is what? After I quit smoking the ninth time.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I was like, oh. Oh, she. Here's your flowers. Yeah. Like, that's. That's the most badass thing.

[Mrs. P]

I quit booze, drinking, drugs, and smoking.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Oh, but smoking was never your thing.

[Mrs. P]

It was never my thing, but it was the thing I did.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, I know. But it was. But, but the, the rest were.

[Mrs. P]

The other things were my thing.

[Alex Perlman]

But I also met you after all that.

[Mrs. P]

I know. And so you lucked out. You missed the fun version of me.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, the version you now isn't fun. No, the one, the gardening one with the baby in the backyard. Yeah. Boom, boom.

[Mrs. P]

Let me talk to you about party. Me.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. So what's the most badass thing you think the other person has done?

[Alex Perlman]

What badass thing have I done?

[Mrs. P]

Let me think. Okay, so I think in overarching, I think you doing stand up comedy is the most badass thing because, like, knowing you and where you come from, it doesn't seem like it would be something you would do. And then like having gotten on stage in front of rooms of strangers and like all this stuff, like, it. It takes a lot of moxie to get up on stage and talk your shit and try to make people laugh. It's. It's a very interesting thing to do. And brave. A lot of people won't do it. A lot of people think, oh, I'm so funny, I should do comedy. Or they'll tell their. Their friends will tell them, oh, you're so funny, you should do comedy. But the act of standing up on that stage behind a microphone is badass at actually doing it and then like truly trying to do it for so long and never. Not that we never feared not succeeding, but it was like, it was just like a passion and like, just following that through.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay, that's not what I would have gone with.

[Mrs. P]

What would you have gone with?

[Alex Perlman]

Screaming at Mike Lindell.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

Screaming at my Linkedell, at the Democratic National.

[Mrs. P]

You think that was the most badass thing?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, I was screaming at that man. I was like, you, you're a monster.

[Mrs. P]

Suck.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, yeah. I was being like, cops were coming towards me like that. Yeah, that felt more.

[Mrs. P]

That felt.

[Alex Perlman]

That felt a little bit more.

[Mrs. P]

One minute of yelling at the My pillow pillow guy. That's worth a decade of getting on stage.

[Alex Perlman]

It's been two and almost a half decade.

[Mrs. P]

I. Okay. I forgot how old we were.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, no, exactly. But also I started in 2002. Next year will be my 25th anniversary of doing stand up.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God.

[Alex Perlman]

I know. That's crazy.

[Mrs. P]

There are 25 year old people.

[Alex Perlman]

I know.

[Mrs. P]

Listening to this.

[Alex Perlman]

I know. And they don't have 911 memories. And like, why do millennials always bring it up? And I was like, well, you know what? It was a. It was a weird day.

[Mrs. P]

It was a weird day.

[Alex Perlman]

It Was a weird day. It was.

[Mrs. P]

First time I went to community college right out of high school.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I was in community college when it happened. And all the TVs.

[Alex Perlman]

Blake, this isn't a 911.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, sorry.

[Alex Perlman]

We were talking about me.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, you're right.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, we were talking. We were focusing on me for a gross.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, let's go to the next question.

[Alex Perlman]

Next question.

[Mrs. P]

If you weren't doing a successful podcast, slash podcasts, what would your ideal dream jobs be?

[Alex Perlman]

Ideal dream jobs. So I'll say what I wanted to do that wasn't successful. Stand up.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

Was I wanted to be a campaign manager for, like, political campaigns.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

I wanted to be, like, the good Karl Rove.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

That was what I wanted to be for a long time. Because I didn't want to be the focus. Because when it comes to politics, like, people like what I do and people like what I have to say until there's somebody on the other side who is like, ah. But if you thought about it this way, let me take his words and twist them and like, that type of things. And I never wanted to be that in. In politics, it's called the principal. Yeah. Like, there's, like, the. The elected person. They're the top, and then there's all these people underneath. So you have to be so many different things to be the politicians themselves. I wanted to be the weird guy in the shadows in the background and being like, no, let's start a whisper campaign about John McCain. Like, I wanted to do that.

[Mrs. P]

You're Stephen Miller.

[Alex Perlman]

No, Stephen Miller is a different type

[Mrs. P]

of the drunk guy with the nose.

[Alex Perlman]

Drunk guy with the nose.

[Mrs. P]

Bannon.

[Alex Perlman]

Bannon. Good. Bannon. I think. Yeah. That's probably something closer to what I wanted to do would be, like, a good Steve Bannon in a weird way. And, like, the thing is, is, like, what Steve Bannon in particular, like, he understood. He slowly learned about, like, how social media worked and, like, how to build online communities and, like, how to create the sock puppets and all these different things.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I understand that stuff, too. And I have tried to explain this to people. They don't want to listen, unfortunately, for free. That's been the problem is I've been trying to explain it to them for free, and I feel like I need to almost charge them.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Just so that way they'll actually fucking listen. Because the only two things that politicians have actually picked up from me and conversations I've had with them.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Beyond me being like, you're a fucking idiot. I explained. I explained to a Senator and a congresswoman. I explained Gen Z Shake versus millennial. Pause.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

And that seems to be the only thing that has broken through their brains.

[Mrs. P]

Wow.

[Alex Perlman]

I tried everything else and I was

[Mrs. P]

like, wow, they're in charge.

[Alex Perlman]

They're in charge, but not really.

[Mrs. P]

So I guess what would you be doing? I don't know. I think there's, there's a few things my brain would go to is like, first, if I was independently wealthy, like exuberantly wealthy, I would love to go back to school and like fully get my law degree.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

And like practice law for like the ACLU and just, just fight the good fight without the worry of financial stress that comes with fighting the good fight for non profit law. But also, if I was like, to live my dream dream, it would be a very, like, Martha Stewart situation.

[Alex Perlman]

I was gonna say Martha Stewart.

[Mrs. P]

I would be outside in the garden, I'd be talking about tulips. I'd be showing you how to roast vegetables properly and bake bread and also selling a line of lotions and beautiful stuff, scarves and handbags.

[Alex Perlman]

Basically. You're like, you're like 70% there already with your Instagram.

[Mrs. P]

I'm so close.

[Alex Perlman]

You're getting there.

[Mrs. P]

I really just, I want her to pass me the baton.

[Alex Perlman]

Martha Stewart to pass you the gluten free baton.

[Mrs. P]

Yes. Be like, please, babe, let me teach people how to build a smoker pit. Which is one of my favorite episodes, where she builds a smokehouse. It's insane.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Anyway, that's. I would just love to do like that, like lifestyle content that doesn't take people down the road of like, trad wife got. You know what I mean?

[Alex Perlman]

We've been talking about that for a while, basically, of like, what that. Because, because again, this is one of the things that we can see trends. Yeah. Because we're using all these different platforms and things like that. And we go, oh, it's interesting because the one thing that I always find is you see it on the, the, the, the platforms and the algorithms that are aimed at women.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

You see them and then you tell me about them. And then half of my job is then yelling at other people with a man's voice. What you told me.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, a lot of that.

[Alex Perlman]

And there's a lot of.

[Mrs. P]

That's how to properly utilize your white guy.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

If you got a white guy, have him say your thought to get it across. So other people listen to it. Because they're not. They don't listen to lady voice.

[Alex Perlman]

No, they don't.

[Mrs. P]

They don't get to listen to lady voice. You got to have a white guy you can have yell for you.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Have. Have him speak on behalf and then he can go to do a Starbucks brand integration at Coachella. Okay. Hey, we'll be right back after this. Eating healthy feels complicated until you try Factor. Factor meals are designed by dietitians and prepared by real chefs. Ready in two minutes. No planning, no cooking. Factor has a wide variety of meals all made with nutrient dense ingredients. And it's easy to fit into any diet goal or schedule. But don't take my word for it. Let's hear from the chef herself.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, Mrs. P. And it helps when you have a packed schedule.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes, it does.

[Mrs. P]

Sure. Because there are certain days where the schedule is a lost control and I need to get a meal into myself, into you, into the child. And I'm telling you a two minute factor meal is the answer. Yep. You can have a delicious chicken with smoked gouda.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

In two minutes.

[Alex Perlman]

Listen, I can't tell you how often it turns out. Are we fighting because I'm in a bad mood or is it. No, actually it turns out I'm hangry.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Eat a smoked gouda, suddenly your marriage is fixed.

[Mrs. P]

Check out Factor's new ready to eat salads. They're a great healthy option for on the go.

[Alex Perlman]

Head to factor meals.com too many 50 off and use code too many 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box. New subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2026. See website for more details. And we're back with more questions. Mrs. P. When we just learned about some of the meals that we can cook.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

What is our next question?

[Mrs. P]

It's about cooking. Oh, really? Says, what is a dish, if any, that Alex can make from scratch successfully? What can you do successfully?

[Alex Perlman]

What do you do successfully? Quickly. Okay. Well, that feels very loaded. That feels asked very successfully. Is crazy. That's crazy. No, I mean before you and I got together and I've said this so many times because you have celiacs. Because you're gluten free. The things that I can cook will kill you.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

So like listen, a shake and baked chicken. One of my favorite things on earth. Love it. We tried it with gluten free panko. It's not as good. It just. It gets weirdly soggy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

When it comes to from scratch.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Virtually virtually nothing.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I can. Now that we have a kid, there are certain things that I can prepare in a hurry for someone who is screaming at me to make sure that he gets just enough calories inside of his body. But, like, I don't like cooking for myself. I don't like making dishes. It's not the. Actually the action of cooking. If I could cook and there were no dishes, I would probably cook. I hate.

[Mrs. P]

Like, wait, I don't think that's true. Because I took you to the melting pot restaurant once.

[Alex Perlman]

That's different.

[Mrs. P]

And you yelling the whole time because you're like, why am I paying to cook my food at this restaurant? And I said, but you don't have to do the dishes.

[Alex Perlman]

No, that's different. Because they had to pay. So fucking. It's a fondue restaurant. The melting pot is a fondue restaurant where they put a big pile. It's the same thing with like. Well, no, Korean hot pots are different.

[Mrs. P]

No, they're way different.

[Alex Perlman]

Those are way different. Because the options you have in front of you, it's also like. That's. Again, that's the other difference, too, is like, the reason I really hated the melting pot is because we went there and they're like, you have to buy each thing a la carte.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Versus.

[Mrs. P]

Would you like to buy a plate of raw shrimp?

[Alex Perlman]

No, I want to pay, like, $35. And then you give me a buffet thing with a cart that comes up, and I grab whatever the fuck I. Yeah, $35.

[Mrs. P]

And then we grill in the middle of the circle table.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. You have a grill or you have the big ones where it's. It's a bimbo. I can't remember what the name of it is.

[Mrs. P]

No, it's the hot pot. You're thinking of the broth in the middle.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, the broth in the middle. Yeah. There's like, a specific name for it. I can't remember. I'm sure everyone will say it in the comments.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Much like load bearing. Right. With that. What we're all looking for. A couple episodes ago, Charlie Kirk's neck was load bearing.

[Mrs. P]

Wow. Anyway, out of context, that's crazy.

[Alex Perlman]

It is wild. But every single person who didn't watch that episode immediately knows what the. I'm talking about. Anyway, the. When it comes to that side, that drives me insane.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because I'm at a restaurant, why am I cooking?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Right.

[Mrs. P]

But also, you don't want to cook at home because then there's dishes.

[Alex Perlman]

But. But hold on. If I'm okay with cooking, if I'm given something that's different.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

If I show up at your restaurant and you're gonna give me a fondue. Right. And you'd be like, here we go. We got some flank steak or whatever it is. We got some chicken. And you're gonna give me the same amount of chicken that I would get from a package. No, that's crazy. No, I want more or more diversity. Like, I want like a difference in it to have that. All that stuff make up. The reason you go to a restaurant is. Is one, if the food's super good, then obviously. But number two, in reality, the reason why you go to a place like an Applebee's.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

The reason why you go to a place like a TGI Fridays. Right. Is to not do dishes. That's it. It's not because the food's good.

[Mrs. P]

They're just microwaves and Applebee's over here. Somebody loves an Applebee.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Somebody likes to have his food microwaved by somebody else.

[Mrs. P]

So the answer is that you can't make anything from scratch successfully.

[Alex Perlman]

Now that I know of, I can't think of anything.

[Mrs. P]

You. Can you make scrambled eggs?

[Alex Perlman]

If I watch a YouTube first.

[Mrs. P]

Let's go to the next.

[Alex Perlman]

But you said you really like my scrambled eggs when I make them. Because I use a little bit of milk and I fold them the right way and I do all this other aloe, pinch of cheese. I do all this stuff, but I don't make them enough.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

To like, remember every time. And I'm just not confident.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

It's because I'm not confident. That's why we have a show called Vibing with the Food Idiot that we have locked behind a paywall.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

@pearlmania500.net where every month you explain a meal to me.

[Mrs. P]

Right. How to cook it.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm not a confident cooker. And so because of that, if you gave me a 20 minute meal, it will take me 35.

[Mrs. P]

Also, I have to disagree with you on one thing.

[Alex Perlman]

What?

[Mrs. P]

That you are a confident cooker. Because I read the comments in every one of your social medias and a lot of people write the comment, let him cook.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay. That's a funny bit. You did a good joke there.

[Mrs. P]

Thank you.

[Alex Perlman]

Thank you.

[Mrs. P]

Let's go the next question.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

What are your favorite guilty pleasure TV shows?

[Alex Perlman]

Oh.

[Mrs. P]

Things that you are ashamed to say out loud.

[Alex Perlman]

Ashamed to say out loud. I mean, there's probably some random animes out there that I can't think of off the top of my head where I'm like, ah. I mean, there's not really guilty pleasure right now. The problem I have is we have a toddler.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And there's certain things when he was a little potato.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

You could watch anything on the tv. And then one day we talked about this on a couple of different episodes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

One day we realized he could understand what he was seeing on the screen. And instantly I was like, can't watch Invincible.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex Perlman]

Can't watch Fallout. Can't watch. And like, it started going down in my head. I'm realizing now I'm listing nothing but Amazon prime shows. Yeah. But anything on hbo.

[Mrs. P]

You should be ashamed to say that out loud because Amazon is evil.

[Alex Perlman]

Amazon is evil.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

You should find a streaming platform that's not evil.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm trying to, but, you know, my dad's Amazon login still works on our tv. So that, that's how that works.

[Mrs. P]

So we're stealing it. So that makes it good.

[Alex Perlman]

No, we're. We're borrowing legally. Paralegal. I don't want to say we're stealing it. I'm saying that I asked the man for a password and he gave it to me. Put it into our tv. And then every now and then I look on there to see what they have. And sometimes the things. Okay. And sometimes it sucks shit.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. What am I. See, the thing is, I'm not really ashamed of anything, but I know what is shameful tv. So, like, I'm not ashamed to say that I like to turn off my brain with Kardashians episode every once in a while.

[Alex Perlman]

You love a Kardashian.

[Mrs. P]

I'm telling you, if I am overly stressed, there is nothing that silences the mind than the dull, dulcet tones of those women talking about nothing.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And, and listen, anything Bravo related, any type of reality show where we got a bunch of gals together.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh. Which is the reason why the only thing we can watch together like that we watch that's new together is traitors.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because it's that. Except gamified a little bit. But also the games, like, are pointless. Like the game, like when they're like, oh, we're going to take them out to the woods and make them carry statues. We. We actually fast forward to that sometimes. Most of the time, I mean.

[Mrs. P]

But then they put Lisa Rena in a cage and I'm like, perfect.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Mrs. P]

That's great.

[Alex Perlman]

But there's, there's times when we were watching that show. That's fine. And then that's usually how I learned about all these characters that she's been

[Mrs. P]

watching because then I have to explain to them who they are from what reality show.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So I don't Feel guilt. Except for that the. Maybe the guilt is that they're monsters. A lot of them are monsters. The Kardashians. And we did a whole episode very on about why they're such monsters.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

But I still need to turn my brain off once in a while because I have a very stressful job, which is staring into the horrors of the Internet every day.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And then staring into the Internet with you.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so it's like sometimes we just need to turn off that. Clock it out.

[Alex Perlman]

You know, I think for me, when I need to do that, when I need to turn my brain off.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I put on old episodes of the TV show Community.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yep.

[Alex Perlman]

30 Rock.

[Mrs. P]

Parks and Rec.

[Alex Perlman]

Parks and Rec. And also now the. The Fallen. Rise of Reggie Dinkins.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, that's.

[Alex Perlman]

Which is on Peacock. And it's Tracy Morgan and Daniel Radcliffe.

[Mrs. P]

So funny.

[Alex Perlman]

It's so funny, guys. It's.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my.

[Alex Perlman]

It's incredible. It's so good. If you liked 30 Rock. Especially if you like 30 Rock.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Or Community, I think these two would pair really, really well together. Some of the gags they have. There's lines in there where we had to actually, like.

[Mrs. P]

Like, you know, so I could breathe.

[Alex Perlman]

No. Also pause so she could yell. Were you. Did you hear that one? Yeah. Rewind it. Play it back. There is an Epstein island joke in it. That's so good. That is. It broke me, like, the fact that they thought of it that. At that angle. Yeah. And there's so many different things. Meg the Stallion shows up at one point. It's awesome. It's a great show. And that's one of the issues, honestly. I just want to say I, I. I hate streaming. Because of this.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because I heard about the show, and then thank God I remembered to go look for it later, because every night we go and we turn on our Roku tv. Yeah. We have a Roku because I like the. I like the interface better than all the other fucking channels.

[Mrs. P]

You mean the Roku City? And you're like. Oh, look.

[Alex Perlman]

No, no.

[Mrs. P]

When you.

[Alex Perlman]

When you. After you. When you hit. Okay. And the Roku City goes away, and then there's all the little buttons. That's better than a fucking Vizio. That's better than the way the Samsung looks. I just like the layout. That's the whole reason. I don't care about the quality or any of that shit. Yeah, I like the layout. So I turn on the Roku, and then we start looking through all the fucking buttons of, like, the Amazon and the Peacock and the Tubi. And the tubi. And all these different things that are up there. And as you're clicking through, it's just like, I'm so. I'm so sick of looking.

[Mrs. P]

I know.

[Alex Perlman]

And then I go to YouTube TV and I'm like, fuck, now I got to go through another screen. It's just that life is a series of menus.

[Mrs. P]

So then it's going to be a good thing when they all become one big monopolized conglomerate.

[Alex Perlman]

They used to be. It all used to just be fucking Netflix. It used to be fucking Netflix. And then Netflix got into a fight with fucking everybody. And then everybody had to be dipshits.

[Mrs. P]

And that's the only one we don't have is Netflix.

[Alex Perlman]

He's the only one we don't have is okay. Because they're the ones who cut down on password sharing because I used to have my sister's password for it. And then one day Netflix was like, no, but the good people at Amazon let us share passwords.

[Mrs. P]

The good people at Amazon.

[Alex Perlman]

The good people at Amazon.

[Mrs. P]

That nobody's ever said, especially listen, the,

[Alex Perlman]

the sponsors of our Coachella trip, Amazon.

[Mrs. P]

We did not go to Coachella.

[Alex Perlman]

But we could.

[Mrs. P]

No, we can't.

[Alex Perlman]

We can't. With that energy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, okay, you're right. I gotta put it on my vision board.

[Alex Perlman]

You know what everyone wants to see? Everyone wants to see a 42 year old ginger man in a South California sun, baking, turning lobster red while cat's eye sings some child song wearing like

[Mrs. P]

a fucking fishnet tank top, shorty shorts with a fanny pack.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, 100%. A fanny pack.

[Mrs. P]

Like a, A fringy leather bag. You have to have a fringe.

[Alex Perlman]

I wouldn't have a fringy leather bag.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex Perlman]

I would have a giant water bottle on a strap.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I wouldn't. I can't do a camel coming in

[Mrs. P]

with real dad energy to this.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, 100% new balance. Can I tell you, having real dad energy is so freeing.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

It's the most freeing thing I've ever had. When I started doing I want, when I started with when content took off for me and they started inviting me to content creator events, you were, you were there.

[Mrs. P]

I was.

[Alex Perlman]

I, I was so nervous. I'm like, they're gonna make fun of my trousers. And I was very scared. I was like, I didn't know what to wear. And we went, we went to the King of Prussia mall. You know, I don't, I don't know a stylist. I don't know what to wear. And I just. I have her. I. You dress me how I make me make you. You feel me pretty. You feel me pretty.

[Mrs. P]

I like the shirt you're wearing today.

[Alex Perlman]

Thank you. It's our merch. But before any of that different stuff, I was like, oh. And so when I started going to these events, and I realized I'm like, oh, I'm an old dad.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Nobody gives a shit what I wear. Nobody cares about my opinions. All I have to do is just go, oh, I like your shoes. That's it. You want to. Hey, fellas, for all the men out there, you want to. You want to. Want to compliment a woman without being a fucking creep? Just go, like your shoes. Oh, that handbag goes well with that. That's it. Don't mention anything else. The fact that you saw those two things means that you're looking at them as a whole person. I'm telling you right now. Okay? That's how you compliment a woman. Whatever you do, don't call them matronly.

[Mrs. P]

Yes. We have learned that before.

[Alex Perlman]

Have we?

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm going to fight back.

[Mrs. P]

I want. Okay, this next question says, I want to know all the jobs Mr. And Mrs. P. Have had. I swear, every episode, another one or two jobs are mentioned. And I'm fascinated at all of you've done. And I'm your age.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, my God. I'm trying to think.

[Mrs. P]

I don't even know where to begin.

[Alex Perlman]

Your first job?

[Mrs. P]

My first job was McDonald's, because I had to get working papers signed, and I worked at the McDonald's that was right outside of the, like, neighborhood.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And it was a real bummer. Did not like that job. I hated that job a lot, to the point where the whole thing was like, I wasn't allowed to quit that job because, like, my family had a whole, like, no quitting policy. Not be a quitter. So I. I told my parents that I got laid off. And, yeah, that's. That was. That was. That was the reaction I got.

[Alex Perlman]

McDonald's was, like, light on that.

[Mrs. P]

Literally. My father. This is the exact reaction he had. But I was like, I found a loophole. I didn't get. I didn't quit, and I didn't get fired. I got laid off.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. That was my first job.

[Alex Perlman]

Your first job? My first job was coat check boy.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And I got hired at a restaurant because I knew one of the. I did karate with one of the chefs, and I was, like, 14. And they're like, we need a coat check boy for the weekend because they had A coat check. They still had one of those. And they had me go in there and I did that for like a weekend. And then immediately they were like, oh, we need a busboy. And I became a busboy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And then. Yeah, then it keeps going from there. I. Should I just keep going?

[Mrs. P]

No. I also was a coat check person.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

This is a huge jump in time, but I was a coat check at Le Beck Fen, which was a five star French restaurant in Philly that no longer exists.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I think it's. What's a. The glass. It's a Warby Parker now. So funny that the grave of the best restaurant in Philadelphia is a Warby Parker.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

I started as a coat check person there in the sub bar, called the Bar Leone. And that was. I made so much money because people would used to tip you in cash.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna tell you that right now.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

We have so many jobs. You cannot take this long on each of them.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, I'm.

[Alex Perlman]

You just have to say I was a codec person.

[Mrs. P]

I know what I was gonna say is that I started there as co check and then I got promoted to hostess, and then I worked as waitstaff and I eventually became assistant manager.

[Alex Perlman]

So at the place that I started as a co check person at that one restaurant, I went from cocheck to busboy. Busboy to dishwasher. Dishwasher to server. Yeah, server. To fill in line cook. That was just at one place. And that was before I was 17.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I was also a karate instructor.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

I was also a Sunday school teacher. I got paid for those, so that they count. A Sunday school teacher.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

I then went away to college. Had no job for a little bit. Came back, I worked as a dry cleaner.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

I worked as a security guard. Yeah, I went back to the dry cleaner, then became a mall security guard. Worked at a bunch of restaurants all throughout that as well, doing kind of the same general type of stuff. I was a busboy. I worked at Borders Books where I worked in inventory. I also worked in a cafe over there. I also worked as a cashier. Then I left Borders because they've. I was like a quit fired situation. And then I got a job at a real cafe where I was an actual barista. And then also basically a line cook there because you had to make sandwiches and stuff like that. So I guess a sandwich technician.

[Mrs. P]

Oh.

[Alex Perlman]

Then I went back to being a mall security guard, in which case I also was a paid driver because I was mostly in the car. A little smammered. But anyway, I was driving around the mall lot a bunch there. Then I was a. A get out the vote campaign coordinator for a political campaign. I was also a volunteer coordinator for a political campaign. I was an assistant campaign director at one point. I just gave myself that title one day.

[Mrs. P]

You can give yourself any title on your resume.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, yeah. On your resume. You can say whatever you want. Yeah, yeah. And then I was a stand up comedian the entire time. I also. I also was a host of burlesque shows. I was a professional driver for a little bit in there. You worked at a shoe store? I worked at a shoe store. I couple. All those is just retail. Yeah, that's a company that was. Yeah, I was a shoe store. That was inventory, cash management. I worked. I forgot I worked in a phone center at a credit union.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah. I forgot about.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, that was. Which was like 10 years of my life. Phone. Started a credit union. Then I was a bank teller. And then I moved to back office to work as a data analyst. And then things started taking off for me on the phone. I feel like I'm missing one or two jobs. Oh, door to door sales. I did that for like three weeks. Door to door begging. I did that for one week.

[Mrs. P]

I did that same job.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes, I know. We know. We both know exactly which activist organization we get worked for in this area where they legitimately would put you in a van and drive you out to rich neighborhoods in the suburbs and have you gone door to door and knock on doors of rich people and be like, do you want to support our actions? And that was the thing. We both did that weirdly at different times.

[Mrs. P]

We didn't meet each other there.

[Alex Perlman]

No. Didn't meet each other there. Didn't even know. And they have such high turnover that we didn't even know the same people.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. McDonald's where I started. Right. And then I worked at a beautiful pizza shop all through high school.

[Alex Perlman]

Y.

[Mrs. P]

And then I'm trying to think. So I. I graduated high school. I got a job waiting tables. I worked at a local bakery. I worked at a local bank, a Polish bank.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Which was very fun.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Then I got that job with the door knocking that we're talking about. And then I delivered newspapers for a while. Like, I. I don't.

[Alex Perlman]

You were a newsy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, they like, they're. What's it called? The Metro. Remember the Metro newspaper?

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, yeah. It was a free newspaper when it

[Mrs. P]

was first launched in Philly. They had people like carrying bags of them to go hand them out to people on the subways and ells.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

And I'll never forget, I was, like, carrying. I had, like, a front load bag and the backload bag of newspapers, and I was walking up the stairs. No, I was walking down the stairs into the subway, and I fell backwards because of the weight, and strangers had to help me stand back up because I was so weighted down by newspapers.

[Alex Perlman]

That's crazy.

[Mrs. P]

And then I worked. Yeah, it was just like. Oh, I was a bike messenger for a while. I did more table waiting, catering, bartending.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, yeah, we did catering too. I forgot.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, I went to beauty school within that. Yeah, I worked at a pizza shop. I worked at a grocery store that used to be on South Street. I worked at an ear piercing place, like, on south street. And I. They used, like the ear gun on everybody on your nose. It was a whole thing. And then I don't. What happened? Oh, then I went on the Lion King tour for a while. Yeah, I did get another question about that. Yeah, People being like, what does she mean, the Lion King tour? At a certain point in my life, I was bartending and I. I was serving drinks, and I met this guy, as one does, and he was. Worked for the Lion King, and he was like, you should come on tour with me for the Lion King. And I said, bet I'm 20 nothing and I have nothing holding me here. And so I sold all my belongings, broke my lease, and went on tour with the Lion King for two and a half years. And I got a job on the show as what's called a wrangler. They're the people that are in charge of the child actors. And like the little Simbas and little Nalas. Because of child labor laws, you have to have multiple children so that each child can do a show. And yeah, I traveled all of America, been to all the states because of the Lion King. It was a crazy job, a wild experience. I came back to Philadelphia, waited more tables, did all kinds of weird side hustles that I can't remember until they pop up.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. And then you worked at a bowling alley as a manager, and then you got office jobs.

[Mrs. P]

And then I started doing office jobs because I was going to community college.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, and then you got office jobs, and then you finally got your paralegal job, and then you became the co host of Too Many Tabs.

[Mrs. P]

I'm the host? You're the co host?

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, I'm the co host.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

Good to know. Every good day starts with a good night's sleep. Brooklyn bedding is making sure you wake up on the right side of the bed. Brooklyn Bedding makes amazing mattresses for every body and sleep style. With cooling mattresses for hot sleepers and hard to find sizes, it's easy to find your perfect match using the Brooklyn Bedding Sleep quiz.

[Mrs. P]

I love our Brooklyn Bed. It is the only reason sometimes that I am in a good mood. It is because a good night's sleep is so important and I always get that on our Brooklyn Bedding mattress.

[Alex Perlman]

When I'm on our Brooklyn Bedding mattress, you know what happens? I stop doom scrolling and I start hope dreaming. All Brooklyn Bedding mattresses are designed and assembled in the usa. Made with high quality materials in their Arizona factory, Brooklyn Bedding offers 120 night comfort trial. If you don't love your mattress, swap it or return it hassle free. Go to BrooklynBedding.com and use our promo code too many at checkout to get 30 off site wide. This offer is not available anywhere else. That's brooklynbetting.com promo code T O O M A n y for 30 off sitewide. Support the show and let them know that too many tabs sent you Brooklyn betting.com promo code too many. All right, Mrs. P. Obviously one of our jobs is reading sponsored ads. But now we're back and if you don't want those ads, you can always join us@Pearl Mania500.net for ad free content. Now we have more questions from our patreons.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

What is the next question?

[Mrs. P]

How do you combat burnout from making a podcast every single week?

[Alex Perlman]

Well, we do this. This episode. This is the break glass of emergency episode.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Sometimes you. I really just need to do a silly billy.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Ask me some questions because I can't do any more research and look into the void of the Internet.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. The deep dives can sometimes get you. Also the we we were trying to keep the episodes shorter for a bit and then they're beginning longer again and they were trying to figure out what works best to for Mr. Third, our incredible editor for us. And then as the schedules are getting tighter. Yeah, it's, it's been getting burnout is

[Mrs. P]

something we deal with.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. And actually we're looking at I think maybe August or something like that. We might be. We've never taken extended breaks besides in December into January. We might be adding in a summer break.

[Mrs. P]

We might need to just log out.

[Alex Perlman]

We might need to log out a little bit. But we're looking at that and we're trying to figure out what that looks like. Looks like with with the entire schedule and everything. Because typically, just so you guys know, we usually record these on Wednesdays and then they go live on Sundays.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

That's kind of how our weeks go. We've tried, desperately tried to bank things. It does not work in our schedule.

[Mrs. P]

I try so hard.

[Alex Perlman]

We tried so hard. It doesn't this every year on the break. Every year we go, we're going to write all these scripts, we're going to do all these different things. And every year on the break, we get to sick.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

The first year, we had a baby Y. The second year, chicken pox, chickenpox. This year, norovirus just ran through us because that's just a thing that happens. So it's next year we're gonna go

[Mrs. P]

on a cruise just to find a new germ.

[Alex Perlman]

We're cruising. We're. We're germ chasers. We're bug chasers.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, that's the thing I saw on Tik Tok about that guy about bug chasers. Yeah. That it was like, a girl who. Like a young lady, not a girl, but her dad was a bug chaser, and then she made a TikTok about him, and then her family kicked her out. It was a whole.

[Alex Perlman]

No bug chaser.

[Mrs. P]

And I said I didn't know what that was. And then she explained what it was, and I was like, I shouldn't have access to the Internet. I shouldn't know these things.

[Alex Perlman]

You know what's crazy is I read about them in Time magazine in, like, 1999.

[Mrs. P]

Really?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. No, because, like, there was, like, a whole thing about bug chasers, and it's like a very specific group of people. Listen, don't Google it. No, it's. It's. It's.

[Mrs. P]

It's people that go out in their gardens and chase the bugs away from their beautiful vegetables.

[Alex Perlman]

That's not what it is at all. It's a fetish having to do with medical issues.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. So.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh.

[Mrs. P]

Anyway.

[Alex Perlman]

So how do we beat the. The burnout, though? How do we be number one? We. Sometimes we take turns. Oftentimes it's Mrs. P's Scripts, but sometimes we do take a little bit of turns.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

We also talk to each other about what the topic is going to be to make sure that it isn't something that's so heavy that will break us. Yeah. Allah. That one. A couple episodes. We've had a couple episodes.

[Mrs. P]

We've had a couple episodes. Knocked us out. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Because you start down a path, and once you get so deep into it, you're like, well, I don't want to pull back now.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

We've invested so much time.

[Mrs. P]

I think also scheduling. It helps me personally because I'm a very, like, I'm a loosey Goose person in my spiritual sense. I'm Lucy Goose. I'm everywhere. But I really, like, at 9:00am I do this. At 10:00am I DO THIS. And I have a set schedule for myself so that, like, I can do all the work I need to get done. And since it's structured in my calendar, I can clock out.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Sometimes it feels like I can't clock out because as soon as I stop doing one thing, I open up my phone and then the horrors are different.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. And then you. And then the baby is right there.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And then the big thing, too has been the toddler is just like having him in our life. Number one, you can't burn out. You have a toddler.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex Perlman]

There's no time. But being able to look at each other and go, I need to go upstairs for 30 minutes and die. 30 minutes or an hour and go die in the bed. That works somewhat. And it's really just a matter. It really is. It comes down to scheduling and just not letting yourself and keeping up with it. It's almost like going to the gym.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

Is like a big part of it. And actually this year when we took our break, it was coming back was actually hard.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because it was like we did so much content in December to get the show out and to do all these plans that we had. And then we took the, you know, mid December through mid January break. It was so nice. Just so nice. We love doing the show so much. It's so much fun.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

But there is, like, when you have all the other things that are going on. You know, I was doing. I'm doing Crashing Out. We're Being Parents. I was doing the other content.

[Mrs. P]

Short form. Content form.

[Alex Perlman]

Content like that also takes up a brain space. Because the thing is, is the more podcasting I do, the less short form I do.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

That's a big thing. I make less TikToks. If you look at how I make TikToks, basically Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I rarely actually post a tick tock.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because we're making podcasting all day.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

That's just how it goes. It's the way the schedule. Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

There's also. Tick tock isn't fun anymore.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So.

[Alex Perlman]

So the answer to your question, it's just sheer force of will and scheduling.

[Mrs. P]

And also sometimes you just need to take a nap.

[Alex Perlman]

Sometimes you need to take a nap.

[Mrs. P]

A nap.

[Alex Perlman]

And we. And we need to. And we are gonna probably have some announcements in the near future of, like, when we are going to take breaks.

[Mrs. P]

Breaks. Yeah, we might.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. So it's so millennial to be like, yeah, I'll take a break. Okay. The next question is kind of in this. It says, when is the worker coming back?

[Alex Perlman]

Okay. So this has been a negotiation. This has been a long term negotiation. I have tried to bring the worker back many times. I have been told during those times, people don't need that right now. It's scary enough.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And also crashing out exists.

[Mrs. P]

That's kind of a big thing for you to have the worker here with us today.

[Alex Perlman]

You did. But we looked at the idea of do it going into full. I call it full glam.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Doing all that different stuff and trying to fit it in the schedule of today. That was. I didn't. I didn't think it made sense.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Also I want I. The woker in 2025, the walker was necessary because it actually felt scarier. I have a lot more hope now.

[Mrs. P]

Mm.

[Alex Perlman]

I wanna let you guys know. Breaking news. Breaking news. I have a lot more hope. And the reason why is because fundamentally this is the same president and the same administration as last time. It seemed like while. Yes, they've done more damage. At the end of the day, as the deadlines get closer, as we get closer to January 20, 2029, as we get closer to the election in 2028, we get closer to midterms. The deadlines are. He is. This man is the laziest person on earth.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

He's lazy and he's stupid. And the people he's surrounded with are also lazy and stupid. And they're all narcissists.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And they're all fucking insane. And they all think that their thing is the number one thing that's going to work.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And as we've seen with Kristi Noem and then Pam Bondi and more to come. He will keep knifing them in the back. And the replacements will always be slightly

[Mrs. P]

knifing the women in the back.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes. But he will knife a couple of the men eventually. But the. The thing to keep in mind, though is just like January6, whatever, is the last minute thing.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And I think when I was looking, when the worker came out in 2025, there were a couple moments there where I was like, if he was smart, this is when he would do it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

This is when the big drop cloths come down. And they start doing the roundups and all this different sticks. When the ice stuff was happening in Minnesota, when the ice protests and the murders of Alex Preddy and Renee Good happened, those are moments where I was like, oh, these are flashpoint moments. And for some reason. For some reason, we. The. Everybody just kept keeping and going it. And so that's why I'm kind of

[Mrs. P]

sitting here right now.

[Alex Perlman]

And, like, I just kind of wonder. We wonder. But he's. He's always. He's always there.

[Mrs. P]

Most of the time, the makeup talks

[Alex Perlman]

to me like the Green Goblin.

[Mrs. P]

It does.

[Alex Perlman]

He.

[Mrs. P]

I think every single Wednesday morning, he wakes up and drinks his Red Bull and looks at me and goes, can today be the day? And it really depends on the news cycle, because I fundamentally like for too many tabs to be an escape for an hour or two. And we, of course, touch on politics, and we, of course, touch on some

[Alex Perlman]

of the harder focus.

[Mrs. P]

It's. I try so hard to make it not the focus so that we can have fun, silly Billy conversations, which is

[Alex Perlman]

what crashing out is for.

[Mrs. P]

Exactly.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And so when we invite the woker into that space, he really sucks the oxygen out of the room of keeping it light. You know what I mean? Keeping it light so the woker will inevitably come back. I think of it like the break glass in case of emergency. And it's like, there's another. We got to just go for it.

[Alex Perlman]

And the other part of it is, as we said with our schedule, we record on Wednesdays and the show is released on Sundays. So sometimes the feeling that the nation has on Tuesday, Wednesday is violently different by Sunday.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And part of that is because of the president. And the way the news cycle works now is everything is contradictory lies, so we can't ever tell where anything is anymore. And that is actually making. Making it hard to process. So, again, that's part of what crashing out is for. And I've even had debates about whether the workers should show up at crashing out. I mean, and we've talked about it. We've talked about it. Listen, we had. This week, the Pope appeared.

[Mrs. P]

What? Don't give it away.

[Alex Perlman]

This comes out after that.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, right. You're right.

[Alex Perlman]

This is. As we're recording this, the. That. But the Pope episode has been out for 20 minutes.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, but it's crushing.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm going to.

[Mrs. P]

You did order an entire Pope.

[Alex Perlman]

It's in that.

[Mrs. P]

We had to steam it.

[Alex Perlman]

We had to steam it. It was 100% polyester pope costume. It's high quality. I had to make from our good friends at Amazon.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, son of a bitch. Okay, next comment.

[Alex Perlman]

I get a. Where else could I get a pope costume overnight overnighted to my front door. I tried every party. City got bought by private equity and destroyed. Joanne, fabric doesn't exist. Like I'm just. I keep ending in the situation where I'm like, I try to source it local. I couldn't. Fuck. I gotta go to the app.

[Mrs. P]

We went to the local Catholic church, asked the guy for his robes. He said no.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, he said gone get.

[Mrs. P]

Next question says Mrs. P. Tell us the truth. Are you a Russian spy? Look in the camera. No, but the president is.

[Alex Perlman]

Hey, Mrs. P. Do you know it's almost time for a holiday?

[Mrs. P]

Which one?

[Alex Perlman]

4 20. Oh, and this year we're going to celebrate 420 with in the Cloud. Into Cloud has everything. Gummies, vapes, pre rolls, edibles, and zero calorie THC sodas. Into Cloud is the fully legal online cannabis dispensary for you. And listen, I've been climbing up to Inda Clouds for a while now. We all know how much of a good time that I have with the in the Cloud. It helps me recenter myself. Sometimes it helps me calm down a little bit. Sometimes it helps me just chill out because life sometimes needs to be on a big fluffy cloud. All Into Cloud products are federally legal THC. Everything sold is DEA certified and lab tested. If you're 21 or older and a new customer, go to IndeCloud co. That's.conot.com and use code tabs for 40% off your first order. That's IndeCloud code tabs for 40% off all month long. Ship discreetly to your door. Plus free shipping on orders over $50 and $30 in free gifts on qualifying orders. After you order, fill out the survey and tell them too many tabs sent. You enjoy responsibly. And thanks to Indecloud for sponsoring my 420. You know, I'm noticing that a lot of these questions are aimed at you. Yeah, there's not a lot of questions for me.

[Mrs. P]

Here's a couple questions that say for Mrs. P specifically. Okay. Where do you get all of your cute cardigans? Usually at the T.J. maxx Home Goods. What's the other one? Marshalls? Yeah, it's usually. Those are where all my cardigans come from most of the time. Or Kohl's.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Really? Just Kohl's and TJ Maxx?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's usually you come home, you Go.

[Mrs. P]

Lands End.

[Alex Perlman]

You do love a land end.

[Mrs. P]

I love the Lands End cardigan. Okay. What do you use to curl your hair? Just a random curling iron that I have a Marcel curling iron from beauty school. And I still have it. The end. Okay. What is your favorite thing to grow? Now? This is an interesting question. As a soldier of the soil. Hold on. Let me show you my shirt. I made this shirt about gardening. Soldiers of the soil. Show them the back. Show them the back. Be my model. Okay. And on the back, it says, so the seas of victory. It's got dancing little vegetables. Broccoli. I love growing broccoli. But the slugs and the cabbage worms really like broccoli too. So that's a battle. Eggplant. I don't love to grow because we don't actually eat eggplant, so it's kind of waste of my time. Squash. I have the arch nemesis of the squash borer, vine borers here. So I don't grow squash because I hate fighting them. Carrots. I love growing carrots. They are delicious and easy to grow. What's the next one? A cucumber. I love growing cucumbers. Specifically, I like growing stuff. Slicing cucumbers, like the Persian kind versus pickling cucumbers. Even though I do like pickling cucumbers, but the slicing kind are better. And what's this last guy? The last guy is zucchini. I love a zucchini. But when you grow them, you get way too many of them, and then you can't possibly eat them. And I don't like zoodles, so. Okay, you can turn back around. And the thing I think I like growing the most is garlic, because she's really easy. You just put that in the ground in the fall, and then you pull it out in June. Bing, bang, boom.

[Alex Perlman]

I feel used.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And then. But I also like tomatoes, but that's because of sauce. I don't know. It really depends. I like peas. I like beans. I like everything in the garden. Really?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. But you like carrots. I think carrots are your favorite because one, number one, like carrots. Like, you can pull them.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, that's fun.

[Alex Perlman]

That's pull. That's fun. And they look like the little stalks coming up are cute.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And they make the most sense. You know what to do with carrots, like, for everything. It's like you can. Okay, you can just eat a carrot raw, or you can, like. You know, you do all the fun carrots.

[Mrs. P]

I will say a shocking revelation is I have had a very hard time growing potatoes in my history of gardening, potatoes really don't like growing here.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And I don't know what to do. I've. I'm gonna try again this year, but it's like gardening is 100. Just like making mistakes over and over again.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Until you figure it out. And I'm gonna try potatoes again this year. But historically, I've had a really hard time growing potatoes. But I can grow sweet potatoes really well.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

So what type of music do you like?

[Alex Perlman]

Wait, you just jumped right from gardening to music?

[Mrs. P]

That was the next question before me for you.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, not me.

[Mrs. P]

It says Mrs. B. What kind of music do you like? I like all kinds of music. I don't. I like if my playlist is like just a mishmash of everything that I liked in my youth and.

[Alex Perlman]

No, I know what you like.

[Mrs. P]

What do I like?

[Alex Perlman]

You like it. With that, you were gone. I flashed my car into a bridge. I don't care. I love it. If they were. If people were slamming their face into a wall at a dark club in 2009 or 2007, there, baby. That's what Mrs. P. If. Listen right now. Can I tell you right now, her favorite song is Monster in the Mirror by Grover.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Wubba wubba wubba wubba woo woo woo wubba wubba wubba wubba and a doodly doo.

[Mrs. P]

Best song.

[Alex Perlman]

That's from Sesame Street. That's our number one song. But if. If I and the baby are not there. Yeah, she is putting on pool shapes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

She is putting on. It's very. Just this. This late aughts slam, Lady Gaga type of just like club music. That's her go to.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

When she wants to. When Mrs. P. Wants to feel classy and bewitching, she'll go more the Stevie Nicks, the Fleetwood Mac.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

When she is more in a relaxing. It's more of a Lana Del Rey.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

That's more of a kickback for her.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And obviously Whitney is always there. Whitney is always on the edge of everything.

[Mrs. P]

Always.

[Alex Perlman]

She could always put on Whitney or Janet. They're always just. Just there. They're there.

[Mrs. P]

I had all the windows down in the car screaming Whitney Houston yesterday.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

On the way home from Lowe's.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. 100%. And that's just. That's just how that goes.

[Mrs. P]

Because it's not right. But it's okay.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Are there any questions for me or both of us?

[Mrs. P]

Well, the next one is for both of us.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. It says, do you like pickles? No, I know it's weird.

[Alex Perlman]

Pickles are gross.

[Mrs. P]

I love pickles.

[Alex Perlman]

You love pickles. I hate them.

[Mrs. P]

I like every kind of pickle. I like pickled radishes. Pickled green beans.

[Alex Perlman]

No.

[Mrs. P]

Pickled onions.

[Alex Perlman]

No.

[Mrs. P]

I'll eat pickled. Any vegetable you got.

[Alex Perlman]

What about pickled eggs? Yes.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, a pickled egg with, like, the beet juice in it. Oh, absolutely. One time, actually, more than one time, I made deviled eggs using beet. Pickled eggs. Incredible. Incredible use of Russian ancestry that has nothing to do with being a spy.

[Alex Perlman]

I love. I love that you're like, it's a Q A questions for both of us. And all of the questions are basically for you. I hate pickles. And you know I hate pickles.

[Mrs. P]

Well, the people don't know that you hate pickles.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. But you know, because. Because my gr. North Carolina would make her own pickles in the south in the middle of July.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

In a house with no air conditioning.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

And so actually, no. Sorry. There was one air conditioner. It was in the kitchen, and so the pickle smell filled the entire house. So I'd be sitting there in the living room watching tv, sweating to death. Yeah. As the only way to cool down was the waft of pickle smell coming from a boiling kitchen.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I hated it.

[Mrs. P]

Well, that's.

[Alex Perlman]

And I've tried. I've tried. I've tried. Hold on. I want to. I've tried. Okay. This is crazy, because on the Jewish side of my head, that. By the way, that was not the Jewish side of my family. Yeah. That was my Southern Baptist grandma boiling these fucking pickles. So then when I told my Jewish side of my family I didn't like fucking pickles, they took me to a deli that was famous for a pickle bar, and they made me sit there and try every type of fucking pickles. At that point. It was like back in the day when they used to try to convince kids does not smoke by making him smoke a whole fucking carton. So they overloaded me with. They're like, you got, like, one of these, and they all tasted the same to me. This one has more snap. This one's more mushy. This one. They all taste like fucking pickles.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And I don't like pickles. Pickles are gross. Pickleback shots are gross. Everything involved pickleback shots.

[Mrs. P]

I forgot about those. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because you're sober and you shouldn't. Man. All these things are fucking horrific.

[Mrs. P]

I've been sober for, like, 16 years.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

That's crazy, dude.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

But I remember a Pickleback shot.

[Alex Perlman]

Your alcoholism can drive now. That's crazy.

[Mrs. P]

Do you like pickleball?

[Alex Perlman]

I've never played it. We've been over this.

[Mrs. P]

I like pickle dip. I like.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, I know. You bring anything that has pickle on it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. You'll bring it to the pickle salsa that. That they make in the summertime. Oh, my God.

[Alex Perlman]

Everything. Every time. And I have to sit there in the room and just smell it. I didn't used to. I used to smoke cigarettes, and I was happy, and I couldn't smell anything. And then this lady was like, we're having a kid. You should probably quit smoking. And I did. And now all I smell is pickles and poop.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, well, that's toddler poop. Okay, so let's see. Next question is for you, Alex. Who is your favorite comedian?

[Alex Perlman]

Well, that's. Comedian.

[Mrs. P]

Comedian. Sorry.

[Alex Perlman]

Comedian.

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay. Well, that's a loaded question.

[Mrs. P]

Why?

[Alex Perlman]

Because it depends. It depends on what I was looking for. Like, I grew up. I mean, he's a monster, so I don't want to list him now, but I grew up listening to Bill Cosby.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

When I was growing up, we listened to Bill Clark Cosby and Jonathan Winters on cassette tapes in my mom's car while we were driving everywhere. As time went on, I got really into Eddie Izzard. Eddie Izzard's probably one of my favorite comedians. She's incredible. And then. But I really like Dave Chappelle before. Again, like, that. There's a juxtaposition like. Like Dave Chappelle, famous enemy of the trans community. But one of my favorite comedians is a trans woman. There's like. But Dave Chappelle is, like, a very. He is a good comic. Yeah, my. One of my favorite comics is Lenny Bruce, but he doesn't translate to modern audiences because all of his stuff is so dated. I love Richard Pryor. I really love Cat Williams.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. I love Kyle Kanane.

[Mrs. P]

Kyle Williams.

[Alex Perlman]

I like John Mulaney.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I love Fortune Feimster. I got to open for her. She was incredible.

[Mrs. P]

Fortune Feimster is so funny. Let me tell a little side story.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

When you. He opened for Fortune Feimster, and your mom came to the show.

[Alex Perlman]

The only time she ever.

[Mrs. P]

The only time she ever come to the show because we had a Southern woman.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

On the show, Fortune Feemster. And your mom was sitting behind me because, like, they had, like, the long table. So we're all kind of sitting facing the stage. Your mom's sitting behind me drinking. I Think like a martini or something. No, it was like a Corona Light.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Mrs. P]

It was a bottle of beer.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And Fortune Feimster said something so funny that your mom did a spit take on the back of my head and was scream laughing. Your mom slapped the table. My mom is a shook the chair.

[Alex Perlman]

My mom's a literal knee slapper. Like, when she laughs, she shakes everything. Oh, my God.

[Mrs. P]

She was shaking me hitting the table. Yeah, but I don't. She. Fortune Feimster made a joke so funny that she. Your mom spit beer on the back of my head. And it was the funniest thing because I. I don't think she found anybody else's funny as she found Fortune Feemster.

[Alex Perlman]

Not me. She didn't find me as funny. I just throwing it out there. But the. She does now. She thinks I'm hilarious now.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

She's like, you gave me a grandson.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Now I'm fine. Yeah, but that's fine. The. No, but I just think in general, there's also so many comics out there that comedy has changed so much in the last bunch of years. Like, the way crowd work has come in, Right?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

The way viral clips matter. All these different things. Like, I got to open for a legend that I've wanted to meet my entire life, and it was really, really great. Pretty recently, Ratatouille, and we were talking afterwards, and he was just, like, describing of, like, how much comedy has changed from 2002 when it was like, the Comedy Central cable model of, like, getting your half hour and doing the Tonight Show. Jay Jerden is another one, by the way, who's really great right now. All like. He described, like, the difference between that versus, like, the Netflix model.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And, like, what pops? Because I was telling him about retention and like, if you want to. If you want your best joke. Back in the day, when I first started doing stand up, there was a style that would you explain to how to build your set? And it's called bca you want to have, like, your pretty good joke to open so that way the crowd will trust you. You know, a good, like, two or three minutes of, like, here's some pretty good stuff that I know is good. And then they'll listen to you. Then you put your C material. This is stuff that. It's good. It's not the best, though. Yeah, but you put that in kind of in the middle, because nobody remembers the fucking middle. And we're just trying to fill time. And then you put your A at the end because this is what they're going to remember. Your closer. It has to be the best joke you have, so that way they'll remember you. That doesn't work anymore because now you have to do abc. Because every single one of these apps gives us retention. And that retention line drops the entire time.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

So as that line is dropping, you know that your best joke is only going to be heard by 15% of the audience. So if 100,000 people watch your special, only 15,000 are going to hear your best joke. So now you take your best joke and you put it at the front.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And that's what I like. He and I were having a conversation about and there was just like so many different things like that of when I talk to especially 2000s comics and like late 90s comics. And part of it is, you know, there's age and things like that. Life is changing. The audiences are changing all those different things.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

But also how the audience are getting these things. The reason why you have these big, massive guys doing arenas is because they are changing their sets, they're changing their things, and they're. They're figuring out how to reach audiences with those models. And it's just weird.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, here's what I like. I like Wanda Sykes.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes.

[Mrs. P]

Love her. Okay. One time I saved up all of my Pop Tarts labels for a year to get Paula Paula Poundstone VHS because I like Paul Poundstone.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Also I think Kathy Griffin doesn't get enough flowers.

[Alex Perlman]

She doesn't.

[Mrs. P]

So funny.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And she is actually one of the first stand up shows I ever saw live.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, geez. Joan Rivers as well. Oh, she was a big one. Oh, Rivers.

[Mrs. P]

Joan Rivers for life. I have all of her books. I've watched everything. I fucking love Joan Rivers. Yeah, yeah. No, there's so many comedians. I think you just once you. If you love comedy.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. It's also a matter of. Yeah, it's also a matter of, like, what you're into in that moment and what you're looking for. So one thing. Oh, right now, Chris Fleming.

[Mrs. P]

Stavi.

[Alex Perlman]

Stavi and Chris Fleming. Chris Fleming is a big one, though, because what I love about Chris Fleming, whenever I watch him, I'm like, oh, I don't do that.

[Mrs. P]

That. Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And there's certain comics. Stabby's, another one. Stavros, Halican Arcus. I think I said pronounce. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about when I say Stavros. There are certain comics who. They don't do anything near what I do.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And that's why there's like, that's a difference. And you get really, like, into that's

[Mrs. P]

what I'm saying is they're doing something so different than you. But I think the Mark Marin and you have such a similar thought path.

[Alex Perlman]

I've learned what not to do from him.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I've learned for real. I've learned what not to do from him. And also, like, watching his growth from Marc Maron. Watching his growth and listening to conversations he's had with other comedians about, like, he's like, yeah, people know I'm going to do the political thing. So I do the political thing for five minutes and I can tell the actual stuff I want to talk about.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because, like, my biggest. My favorite jokes to talk about and most recently in Stand up have been more about our son. Yeah. You know, being a parent, those type of things. Obviously, I want to get up there.

[Mrs. P]

We're about to get a solid, clean set out of, you know, a solid. And then you're gonna go do the corporate tour.

[Alex Perlman]

Baby, he coming.

[Mrs. P]

Listen. Okay, let's get to the next comment.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

Okay. What has been your most uplifting happy episode to date? There's not that many of them, but there are.

[Alex Perlman]

There's so many of them.

[Mrs. P]

There's so many. Okay. I love Bob's Red Mill. Because I love Bob. Check out our Bob's Red Mill episode for an uplifting episode. Dr. Bronner.

[Alex Perlman]

No, wait. No, don't do that.

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, they've got the best part of the Bob's Red Mill episode.

[Mrs. P]

What?

[Alex Perlman]

They sent us merch afterwards.

[Mrs. P]

Right. They sent us Influencer. Yeah, I've got a whole PR package.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, you got. We got a. We got a Bob's Red Mill PR package from that podcast.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

That's so rare.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. But the other one you were just saying was Dr. Bronner. Dr. Bronner's was also good.

[Mrs. P]

Dr. Bronner's. And Bert Burt's Bees isn't like, the most uplifting episode because it's got, like, the corporation coming in and everything. But I think the vibes of, like, the general overlook of the Burt's Bees episode isn't as horrendous as many of our others.

[Alex Perlman]

Gotta tell you what, my favorite one was actually an uplifting George Dale.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

I really like that one. And it came as. I think it was an important time for me and for a lot of our listeners who've actually reached out to us afterwards who later told me that the George Dale episode, like, really helped. Yeah. Because this is somebody against insurmountable odds of, like, a fascist, racist local American government.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex Perlman]

And how he stood up to them and how he was able to push back. But also at the end of it, like, the reveal at the end of that episode that he was doing it for money.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Is so crazy.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

But, like, he just looked and he was like, oh, yeah. Every other newspaper was pro clan. So I decided to. I knew that there had to be an audience that was anti clan. That's all I was doing. And then they tried to kill him for it. So it became personal. That's wild.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And I think that is also, like, how people need to understand that these things work. Because, I mean, you look at, like, currently the fight between the Pope and the Republican President, United States. It's. Yeah, there's. There's part of it is like the Pope is like, you know, he wants to speak out about morality and what he's learned from the Bible and all these different things. But the other part of it is, like, there are two people who are with each other's turf.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And that's what that really comes down to. And. And, you know, you can add the morality to the rest of it, all these different things. And at the end of the day, it's. There's kind of a selfishness is how things get pushed back against.

[Mrs. P]

The Pope isn't selfish. He is the voice of God, also

[Alex Perlman]

from a gold room.

[Mrs. P]

So also John Brown. Great, uplifting episode.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. But he died, so, like, he dies at the end of that one. So it's a little bit of a different uplift. Right. Like, there's a little bit of, like,

[Mrs. P]

George, a lot of people die in the John Brown story.

[Alex Perlman]

A lot of people.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, so let's go to the next question.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

What is Mrs. P's favorite spooky story slash Cryptid? Can we get her a trip to the Queen Mary for her next ghost hunting video? Yes. Okay. I don't know if I have a favorite Cryptid. I'm trying to think of five a favorite spooky story. But I do love the Queen Mary and I always want to go there. It's been on my. My, like, bucket list. List of spooky places to go. Because I think that Queen Mary is such an interesting story and such an interesting little spooky area.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

So one day I will have me on the Queen Mary doing ghost hunting on my ghost hunting YouTube channel.

[Alex Perlman]

Where's that parked?

[Mrs. P]

In, like, California.

[Alex Perlman]

It's California. Yeah, that's right. We watched a thing about it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And the whole thing for me wasn't even that it was spooky. It was that it doesn't have air conditioning.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Yeah. That's why you wouldn't go.

[Alex Perlman]

I was like, it's in California with no airflow and a little porthole that you can open with a fan.

[Mrs. P]

And that's why the people died on it.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, that's from being hot. That's not why they died on it.

[Mrs. P]

But why was Mrs. P. Quote, asked to leave cosmetology school? Now, here's the thing. I did go to cosmetology school. That. That doesn't count as a job. It was something else I did. I was asked to leave because I am, or I was very, very allergic to perm solution, which I found out during perm class where everyone in our class was roller setting perms. And the fumes in the air made me very, very sick. And I had to be hospitalized and get pumped full of steroids because I broke out like a full body rash. It was awful. And I was at such a health risk being in classes that the school said, maybe you should just not come back. Because I was a liability for their insurance. No doubt. And so that is the reason I did not finish beauty school is because I'm allergic to perms. But a few years ago, the PA State board changed the licensing rules so that you don't have to actually use perm solution. Because that was the whole issue is I knew I couldn't get my license because you had to roller set a perm as part of getting your license. But they changed the rules a couple years back so that you didn't have to use actual perm solution. You could just use water so that you could prove you knew what to do, but you didn't have to do the chemical change to the hair.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

And so theoretically, I could go back to beauty school.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And I could get my license finally, just to prove a point. But I wasn't. I didn't drop out. And I was. I didn't do anything really bad to get asked to leave, but I. I was asked to leave beauty school.

[Alex Perlman]

Well, you know what I'm gonna ask is that we take a quick break. We come back right after this.

[Mrs. P]

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[Alex Perlman]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for

[Mrs. P]

3 month plan equivalent to 15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail]

[Alex Perlman]

and we're back. Mrs. P. We have our closing segment here, our final couple questions, the final

[Mrs. P]

question, the final countdown. Okay, so here's the question. Do you guys think you'd ever go back to having, quote, regular hourly jobs?

[Alex Perlman]

I think about it all the time.

[Mrs. P]

Yes.

[Alex Perlman]

All the time. Constantly.

[Mrs. P]

Immediately.

[Alex Perlman]

Yes, constantly. I constantly think about how much easier it would be for. Not easier, but like just different. There are certain things that I do miss from the scheduling is one thing. Having the, having the 9 to 5 Monday through Friday be going to an office setting going and like talking to people, being able to leave the house more for those purposes.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Things I don't miss obviously are like commute.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

There's like dumb like that. But also like, I mean it's t. Like we're just doing our taxes right now and like just having being a W2 employee versus all doing all these 1099s and like trying to figure out all these different things of like how to run a small business and doing that type of stuff is like frustrating. Like working like listen, I love my spouse, but being married and running a business together is, it's a lot. There's a lot. It's a lot. It's a little stressful.

[Mrs. P]

I think I was just always, I was thinking of it more in the of like, would you, do you guys ever think about going back or having to go back? And I think it's like it doesn't, you know what it is, it doesn't scare me because I've met a lot of people that we've met in the podcasting and social media circles of the world who live daily with great fear of losing it all so that they have to go back to a normal job. Whereas I don't think we have that. Like, if this all disappeared, if all the things that we've built disappeared, we would be sad, we would grieve it. But then we'd be like, okay, let's. We gotta go find another job. And then we find, like, I'd go back to doing whatever. I'd. Maybe I go to paralegal. If I wait tables, whatever I had to do, I would just do it so that we could pay our bills. Like, it wouldn't worry me. But, like, I have seen some of the other social media people that we have engaged with that, like, they have deep fear of having terrified to, like, go back to the normal world.

[Alex Perlman]

But the thing is, for a bunch of them, they've never actually worked in the normal world.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Some of them, with the really young ones that I had met, especially people who are in their 20s, they'd have an experience of, like, I mean, honestly, let's face, like, eating.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Like, you know, we listed all the jobs we had before, before this.

[Mrs. P]

I don't think I got all.

[Alex Perlman]

I know we both missed some. We definitely both missed some because I've had jobs. There was one. There was one job. I can't remember what it was. There was a job where I got hired, walked in and walked out in like, the same hour.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, Little Pete's for me. Remember Little Pete's?

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, yeah.

[Mrs. P]

It was a terrible diner. There used to be a bunch of little diners.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And I. I got a job waiting tables at Little Pete's. And I. I walked in, I was getting trained. I was shadowing this lady.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

And she. We went in the back and she's like, okay, if they order this lunch special, they get a free that comes with a side salad. And she used her raw Paul, and she grabbed a handful of iceberg lettuce, one tomato and some onions. And she's like, they only get one tomato. And like, she's like, this is the side salad that comes. And I. As I watched her raw Paul go into that, I said, I can't work here. And I literally turned around and I walked out. And the guy who owned that, that specific Little Pete restaurant yelled at me on my way out. And I was like, I can't do this. I can't work at a place that's just raw dog in the lettuce.

[Alex Perlman]

I forgot I worked at a logistics company. Oh, yeah, that was the one. I made it six months. I made it six months and Then I stood up and cursed out the. The head of the department.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. You've.

[Alex Perlman]

In front of everyone, you've never been

[Mrs. P]

happier than the day, the day I

[Alex Perlman]

came home after quitting that job. Because I called you, I called you on my lunch break and I'm like, I don't think I'm gonna make it. Yeah. And her exact words were, well, yeah, there's always something else.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. I was like, okay, okay, sure.

[Alex Perlman]

Mrs. Mrs. P's most inspiring word she ever said to me before this took off, when we were in the debate of when I go towards social media, when we're debating about, you know, talking about, like, creating the podcast, doing all these different things, the most inspiring thing she ever said to me was she reached across and she took my hand. We're sitting at the kitchen table and she took my hand and she looked me in the eye and she goes, do you know what they write, you know what they don't write in your obituary? And I said, what? She goes, that you paid your mortgage on time. They will write about all the things that you tried, all the things that you did, all the people that you, you know, spoke to or inspired or did these different things for that will be in your obituary, but not whether or not the mortgage got paid on time. And the good thing is, and I want to tell everybody out there, get you somebody who grew up in some hard times because they know how to survive them and they're not afraid of them. I find that with a lot of the content creators we made, especially the ones had like, rapid early success, they are all so fucking scared of taking a step, step down or a step back. Like, when I look at with Cancel Culture, right when I feel like, oh, my God, cancel Culture, I'm like, yeah, you think not being on TV or not having your stand up special get picked up by Netflix or HBO is death? It's not. You're still working, you're still doing all these different things. Yeah, you can't get on the Tonight show anymore, you piece of. But like, you're still, like, I listen, if this thing stops, if one day, like all of this stops and I'll go work at a fucking gas station. I got no fudgeing problem with that. And in fact, honestly, I'm going to tell you something, I'll be happy doing it.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And like, that's a big thing. I think that, like, so many people, they look at like, making a content creator, being a podcaster, this is a job. This can be a career for as long as you want to be. Because this is. Podcasting is just radio DJing. These are just talk shows.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. My dad says that.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

He's like, you have a radio show?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

When I was explaining to him that I was like, yeah, we're doing this thing, it's called a podcast. And he's like. And I were explaining what it is, and he's like, that's the radio.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, it's the radio show.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, we have a radio.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, we. We just are our own boss. We just don't have. We're not working for a major, like, I heart Clear. Clear Water.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Clear Channel, which is I heart media now. All the I heart podcasts are Clear Channel who own a bunch of radio stations and billboards.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

So it's like, they're not us.

[Mrs. P]

We're punk.

[Alex Perlman]

Not us. Weirdly, people remind me all the time for an independent podcast. We're huge.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Everybody else goes to networks. We're independent because people join us on the Patreon because we're able to get sponsors, because we're able to do all these different things on the side. And like, all of this has been stuff that partially we've rolled with the punches and fallen into, but partially because we've just been like, wait, what is that? And I would have. And real fast, we've said no to, like, crazy numbers. I just want to let you know.

[Mrs. P]

Don't get. Don't get me.

[Alex Perlman]

Don't. The number I said no to.

[Mrs. P]

Don't get me started over. We talked about this.

[Alex Perlman]

I know. We talked about it on the party. We talked about in the recent after party.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, my God.

[Alex Perlman]

But some of the numbers.

[Mrs. P]

And this is a lot of numbers in a row.

[Alex Perlman]

A lot of numbers in a row. Because again, this is one of those things where I'm like, I don't. I wouldn't feel good.

[Mrs. P]

No.

[Alex Perlman]

I've worked at a bank making 15 bucks an hour. I've worked as a server making $2 and 50 cents an hour and then begging for tips. I work for a logistics company moving chemicals around the world. That. None of those. Like, that is like getting by day to day.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

With some of these things. Like, that's what gets me on some of these.

[Mrs. P]

I don't know.

[Alex Perlman]

I don't want to get in that.

[Mrs. P]

Don't get into it.

[Alex Perlman]

I don't get too deep on. Give it. How about we just go to the next.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, next question. Says, my wedding is in two months. Congratulations.

[Alex Perlman]

Congratulations.

[Mrs. P]

Do you have any fun wedding planning advice or marriage advice?

[Alex Perlman]

Let me start off real fast with the wedding planning advice, all right? It's your party. Don't anybody else fucking tell you otherwise. It's your fucking party. Do not let it look at me in the eyes. All right. I don't know, maybe you're listening to it. Listen to me with your ears.

[Mrs. P]

Listening, ears.

[Alex Perlman]

Listening, ears. It's your party. It's your. What's the most important part of the wedding is signing that document with your witnesses.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And the official.

[Mrs. P]

Usually even happened there.

[Alex Perlman]

You don't. Legally, you don't need to do any of it. So it's. Everything you're doing is your choice. And just so you know, the second you tell people it's a wedding, they're up charging you between 20 to 40%. So you're being charged more instantly.

[Mrs. P]

Yep.

[Alex Perlman]

We don't want to go into how we save money on our wedding, all that stuff. We don't. It's a long story, and we're getting near the end of the episode. That's my first advice for you. The second thing to remind you. A wedding is not the end of the story. It's the fucking beginning.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

We've known too many people, and we've all seen everybody out there. We've all seen people, oh, we'll get married and that'll fix it. We'll have a kid and that'll fix. No, no, no, no, no. That'll change it. It's not going to fix it. So just keep that in mind for marriage advice. You're gonna just. Just lose the argument. It's just always easier. It's just easier. The sooner you can look yourself in the mirror and go, I was wrong. The sooner you can say that to your spouse. And that is the thing we both do all the time.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

We have to sometimes. Listen, there's times where we both go, take my hand. Okay, I'm sorry.

[Mrs. P]

I'm sorry.

[Alex Perlman]

You see? Do you see that? You got to do that? Yeah, you have to do that. And you have to. You have to just be hugs. You meet in the middle.

[Mrs. P]

Hugs. Gotta give each other hugs all the time.

[Alex Perlman]

Hugs.

[Mrs. P]

Hugs and kisses.

[Alex Perlman]

Hugs is a big one.

[Mrs. P]

Hugs and kisses. Also, there's that whole thing about staying interested in each other. Like, do you ever see that? It was like a viral on Tick Tock a while ago where, like, the. The woman's, like, in a car and she says, look at that tree. And then, like, if the guy looks at the tree or not, he's not interested in, like, what you're talking about. So, like, if they're like, oh, look at that beautiful bird. And then that person you're with doesn't go, oh, yeah, that is a cool looking bird. Yeah. You need to make sure that you're

[Alex Perlman]

always engaging that to be fair, that if you're driving, though.

[Mrs. P]

No, no, no, that's what I mean. Like, it's not about driving.

[Alex Perlman]

Okay.

[Mrs. P]

It's about like, oh, look at that beautiful tree. Yeah, we're walking down the road, look at that beautiful tree. And you go, it's just a tree. No, it's like, oh, wow, look at the beautiful pink flowers. Like, elaborating on that, following through is like maintaining interest in what the other person's thoughts and hobbies.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Don't say, what do you find interesting about that?

[Mrs. P]

No, that's not how you say that.

[Alex Perlman]

What do you find it? What about this tree?

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, it's a tree. We got it.

[Alex Perlman]

We're in a forest. Yeah, we're in a forest in Pennsylvania. What are you talking about?

[Mrs. P]

And I'm like, it's an interesting tree because it's an invasive species. It's not even supposed to be here.

[Alex Perlman]

Oh, okay. That is interesting.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, see?

[Alex Perlman]

See, I turned it around. Do you see how I turned it around?

[Mrs. P]

A marriage expert coming up next. Yeah, next comment.

[Alex Perlman]

You're not. I'm just going to do not, by the way, just for everybody out there. I know it's the end of the episode, so a lot of people aren't going to hear it because we talked about retention. Do not not mirror your marriage or relationships after ours. Ours is weird. No, do not do that.

[Mrs. P]

We're weirdos.

[Alex Perlman]

But also don't do it for anybody.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, it's.

[Alex Perlman]

It's like, because we are. We've had very particular lives. We have very particular personalities. Incredibly. And I do see that in some people all the time. And like, I'll see. I see the comments sometimes not on the Patreon, but on other places where people are like, oh, my God, marriage goals. I'm like, no, no, you don't want this. I love her, she loves me. There are times, the off camera shit, sometimes because we're married, we have a fucking toddler, life is stressful. The President's a fucking psychopath. You don't want this.

[Mrs. P]

You don't want this.

[Alex Perlman]

Do you have any idea how many times she's walked into the bedroom and I've been holding a bag of makeup and I'm like, melania just said that she isn't in the Epstein files. But I have the email. I Have a printout right here. This is always right there.

[Mrs. P]

Do you know what it's like to live with the board? Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

Do you know what it's like to live with somebody who is sober and it can't have bread and then expects us to go to a party?

[Mrs. P]

Okay.

[Alex Perlman]

It's not your fault you have a disease that ruins parties. Two of them.

[Mrs. P]

Not the alcoholism.

[Alex Perlman]

It's the celiacs.

[Mrs. P]

Okay, so not including your spouse, baby, or pets, what is one thing you would save from the house if it was burning? Okay, this is gonna be bad. Okay. I have some tomato starts that I've been growing for months, and I would. I would grab the tomato starts. I want to be very honest. I've been working too hard on growing these goddamn tomatoes since the winter. It's almost time to put them out in the yard. It's like, it's. I just. I could not let. I couldn't let them burn.

[Alex Perlman]

I'm gonna.

[Mrs. P]

They're irreplaceable.

[Alex Perlman]

In a similar vein, my brain immediately. I immediately pictured myself grabbing my Nintendo Switch, too.

[Mrs. P]

Oh, for sure.

[Alex Perlman]

Because I've been playing so much. Zelda.

[Mrs. P]

I was gonna say for Zelda.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. Because I. Well, because I can't get the save back. I'd have to do that. I put, like, 80 hours into that game now.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. While into cloud.

[Alex Perlman]

Many times. Many times. No, I think, honestly, for me, it'd probably just be my phone.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Because it's so much of our livelihood.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Is in there. And then there's so many. Like, again, there's just so many different things that are necessary.

[Mrs. P]

It'd be like, baby phone. It'd be tomato plants. You'd have to carry the dog. I'm not doing that.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

He's a buck 65, that guy.

[Alex Perlman]

That'd be. Well, I'd be like, this is what we have. Be like, come on. Come on. He would run the opposite direction. You're being weird. And I'm like, it's on fire.

[Mrs. P]

Stressing me out.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah, that'd be. That'd be it. No, I think. Yeah, I think.

[Mrs. P]

I think probably Pepe Pizzeria.

[Alex Perlman]

He's right there.

[Mrs. P]

We would save you. We would save you.

[Alex Perlman]

I found him the other day to mock Phil DeFranco. Oh. I was like, look at me. I'm a Pepe Pizzeria. No, I think. I think I'm probably. Honestly, after.

[Mrs. P]

You know what I'd save? I'd save these microphones because we keep the podcast going, baby. Live from whatever hotel we're staying in. Not An Airbnb?

[Alex Perlman]

No, no, not at all. Definitely not the last episode. No, I think the. There's like a picture on the wall I was thinking of at one point. There was a few things around that I was like, ah. But all of them are, like, kind of replaceable. I mean, since they already said spouse, baby, pet.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Like that covers everything.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. Spouse, baby, pet.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. I mean, that kind of covers everything.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah, that's all that matters.

[Alex Perlman]

You know, I think the foam covers like the most just because I know how many things are backed up on there.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

And how it has links to other things in there that I could then get.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah. And my tomato plants I've been working really hard on. I know you've been working a lot and I can't. I'd have to save them.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. I think. I think that's. I think I'm just gonna go with my very replaceable Nintendo Switch 2. Yeah. But that has data on it that I want.

[Mrs. P]

That. That is not the Nintendo Switch 1.

[Alex Perlman]

No. Because I've already ported everything from the sound switch one to the Nintendo 2.

[Mrs. P]

Got it, got it.

[Alex Perlman]

So everything from the one is on to.

[Mrs. P]

Got it. We'd have to save that, obviously.

[Alex Perlman]

I think that it might be the one I would leave the PlayStation and I haven't touched that in so long.

[Mrs. P]

Yeah.

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah.

[Mrs. P]

Didn't you try to convince me to let you get a new PlayStation?

[Alex Perlman]

Yeah. And you were right. See, you see that? Marriage. You were right. She was right. And you've been right for subscribing. Liking commenting on this podcast. Thank you guys so much. We'll see you next week with a whole new episode of Too Many Tabs, Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs open. It's too many tabs. Remember to smile.

[Mrs. P]

Hey there, it's Wayfair here, where delivery and setup are as easy as a few taps on your phone. You're relaxing in an old hammock, scrolling Wayfair's apple when you spot it. A brand new patio set. Next thing you know, Wayfair delivers it right to your patio and sets it up. Oh, you need a new grill too. Alright, Wayfair's got you covered. With Wayfair's room of choice delivery and fast expert setup on qualifying orders, life gets a little easier. Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app.

[Alex Perlman]

Wayfair.

[Mrs. P]

Every style every home.

[Alex Perlman]

Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now, and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn Ad ads, go to Libsynads.com that's L I B S Y N ads.com today.