Lords:

Alex
Shannon

Topics:

The rapid proliferation of identical mobile games
- https://store.steampowered.com/app/2348100/YEAH_YOU_WANT_THOSE_GAMES_RIGHT_SO_HERE_YOU_GO_NOW_LETS_SEE_YOU_CLEAR_THEM/
Randomly generated time traveler loadout
Turning your body into 3D printer filament after you die
- https://www.suspenders.com/products/1-1-2-undergarment-hold-up-reg-suspender-hip-clip-style-patented-no-slip-reg-clips
Girls Only Want One Thing, Isabel Correra
- https://www.instagram.com/isabellecorreawrites/p/Cz3t1xQOn_x/

Microtopics:

Alien Clay.
Gravity Falls.
Tryharding at Duolingo.
Removing the popsicle sticks in the right order or the king dies in lava.
Writing a solitaire game generator and uploading 30,000 solitaires to the app store.
Ads that are not even pretending to not be falsely advertising to you.
Mobile game advertisers all pretending that their games are the same non-existent game genre.
Yeah! You Want "Those Games," Right? So Here You Go! Now, Let's See You Clear Them!
People saying "that ad for a game where you pull out popsicle sticks until a king doesn't die looks pretty good but when I click on it it's a completely different game."
Lying to consumers in the 80s vs. lying to consumers today.
Ads that are just two horrifying images to get your adrenalin spiking.
Screaming Tamagotchi.
The Paw Patrol diagetically being funded by real life Paw Patrol merch sales.
Maximizing emotional whiplash when it doesn't matter which two emotions they are.
Having a week to prepare for a one way trip to Northern Italy in 1326.
Going on a trip and bringing along your undeveloped Broca's area.
Bootlegging reproducing GMO crop seeds in Renaissance Italy.
Wizard/Prophecy Person.
21st Century Traveling Merchants.
Bringing your jar of penicillin mold to the 14th century.
Being stranded in Renaissance Italy and becoming travelling minstrels.
Larger bearded guy that wears suspenders (under a graphic tee)
When were you born? The 14th century. Fuck you.
Bringing a snack to the spooky extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan who lives in the woods.
Big ol' dogs.
Non-electronic megaphones.
A little top you can spin that's made of grandpa.
A magic genie that can grant any wish as it's for a small striated plastic trinket.
Getting turned into Redstone after you die.
A poorly-made fidget spinner that used to be your husband.
Shipping ashes and asking that ashes be put into things.
The sloughed off skin cells coating everything you send in the mail.
A shitty fidget spinner that just happens to have some human remains in it.
Where human composting is allowed.
Places it's no longer legal to bury a body.
The problem with imbuing symbols with value.
An alternative wedding ring that you switch to as necessary.
A plant that is a metaphor for death.
Grandpa living forever by being repeatedly melted down and 3D printed into a new toy when you get sick of the old once.
Bringing 3D printing back to 14th century Italy to revolutionize reliquaries.
Giving the world both Frog Fractions and Topics.
How many people you pass on the street each day are wearing suspenders under their shirt.
Hip Clips Style Under Ups.
A poem that's in the bucket twice.
Love is a seed and lust is a bird ravenous for seeds.
Burying the word sorry and seeing what grows.
Poetry that's just a paragraph of text.
What you're going to be if you eat the fruit of the sorry fruit.
Trying to imit inimitable things.
There's a lot of different women and they all want different things. (Except they all want to travel back in time.)
My Mother's Savage Daughter.
Girls only want one thing: to not be found on the Internet.

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