Lords:

Erica
Micah
- https://www.reddit.com/r/micahwrites/

Topics:

Puerto Rico branded holiday jams
Chive drama on Reddit
- https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/1o0j6hq/cutting_a_cup_of_chives_everyday_until_the_reddit/
How to cure tinnitus (maybe)
The Ballad of Blasphemous Bill
- https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46647/the-ballad-of-blasphemous-bill
In defense of making movies sequels until they're good again

Microtopics:

Being finished with horrible shit.
Being in the middle of things forever.
The Minutes of the Intermittent Meetings of the Society of Apocryphal Gentlefolk, by Dark Art
Coming down from the high of PiCoSteveMo.
Explaining PiCoSteveMo to someone like it's their first time at Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Two things I'm willing to sacrifice to play PiCoSteveMo games.
Putting your PICO-8 game in a CRT filter.
Lawnmower Man, based on the title by Stephen King.
Developing a field system in Puerto Rico.
Winston's face appearing to the extent that Zoom thinks it's part of my chest.
A deafening hospital siren playing while you're trying to have a good time at the beach.
Pirate-themed massage.
Stealing the windsurfing gear and going for a ride.
Walking past the site of a pirate massage and fatal accident holding a solo cup.
Getting pushed off the road by seven full-sized Coca Cola trucks led by a Santa Sleigh and followed by a party truck with a giant octagonal speaker spreading holiday cheer.
Charging more for a well-traveled Coca Cola.
Holiday-Branded Traffic Jams.
Shipping your worst wine to India and it turns out that the sea voyage turns it into your best wine.
Spanish Milk.
Visiting Puerto Rico during linear time.
The Puerto Rican version of Sleep No More in which Bad Bunny might pull you into a dark corner for a one-on-one and it's not clear whether he works for the event or if he's just another attendee.
Day 57 of chopping chives on Reddit.
Drawing airplanes crashing into the chives that are too long.
Working with (and living with) the Chive Lord.
Comparing Day 1 chives with day 55 chives.
Finding Yoshi in a pile of chopped chives.
A job that exists. (But not one you get paid for.)
Asking the robot to add heart shapes to your food processor chives.
These are the Days of our Chives.
Each Sale I Drink a Glass of Water.
Self-hosting memes and Turing-complete memes.
Phase canceling your tinnitus.
Not wanting to look it up because then you'd know.
Curing tinnitus with extremely specific grenades.
A party where everyone is constantly singing their personal tinnitus tones.
Why don't we get bass tinnitus?
Can you cure bass tinnitus with snail caviar?
The native word for white people who are doing poorly in Alaska.
The ice worms wriggling their purple heads through the crust of the pale blue snow.
Pine trees cracking like little guns in the silence of the wood.
Prankster Bill dying with his arms and legs outstretched so that he won't fit in his coffin.
Poems that demand to be performed with a banjo.
Whether they have banjos in Alaska.
Having fun with the way words sound.
I'm not gonna make it – but I can be an X shape.
The Cremation of Sam McGee.
Burning your house down to get the insurance money to buy a telescope.
Making bad art until it becomes good.
Tremors 3: Back to Perfection.
A giant worm monster drilling up out of the ground in order to slice chives.
Really dwelling on how much you don't have in common with other people.
Six topics (and Shrieker Island)
A dollmaker on the run after making farcical plays about Hitler.
The Saved by the Bell themed music video featuring the same actors as the Final Destination movie it's promoting.
Would you take 90 minutes off of your life to have not seen Final Destination 4?
The replacement for the 1 to 10 pain scale where you decide which Final Destination movie you'd be willing to watch to take the pain away.
Low pain awareness.
Chess boxing win/loss ratios.

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