Lords:

Mark
- Mark's top albums of 2025: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1InKh07sllCLF6cu9za0yhQvmGVC3ZHvM162XI1u1S9A
Shirley

Topics:

If you want to be at the front of the stage at a show, just go there, literally no one is stopping you - or - THE ONLY THING YOU LACK IS WILL
Elves and Using Religion to Protect Natural Spaces
It's illegal to mod your EV to have custom engine noises
Litany Against Fear
- https://dune.fandom.com/wiki/Litany_Against_Fear
How to stop drinking coffee

Microtopics:

The Splintered Oar, by Weft.
An album about labor rights in Kentucky.
Reading aloud to your friends and family.
The siren song of sitting on the couch and watching TV.
Time as the crow flies.
Measuring time as the crow looks at the clock.
Wanting to be right in front of the stage and just going there.
Paying hundreds of dollars to stand in an extremely loud room.
Getting after it with an open heart.
Everyone standing at the same height as the musicians playing live music.
An active member of a live music community in a major US city.
Physically engaging with the music.
Letting go of your concern for the eyes upon you.
Standing in place for the entire four or five bands playing this show without ever leaving your spot to pee.
Working the merch booth.
Unloading a truckload of positive energy into the space in front of the stage.
Mosh pit comfort.
Bands graduating to the next level of popularity.
Fighting your way to the front of the stage so you can not look at the band.
Luxuriating in the freedom of a shared experience of joy.
Giving back to the artists you love by screaming at them while they play music.
Becoming part of a local scene.
People who believe in elves and people who pretend to believe in elves.
Looking forward to when your child might one day bring you boba.
Elf kayfabe.
Mall Santa breaking kayfabe.
Whether the mall Santa has to keep up the act even when he's alone in the shower.
Reindeer-powered Yaris.
Scandinavian elf lore.
Post 9/11 supporting of the troops.
Arguments to which there is no possible rebuttal, such as "you can't build a mini mall because the elves live here."
Picking a random Wikipedia article about Nordic folklore and finding out how many metal bands are named after it.
How few murders there are in the modern black metal scene.
A looping sample of Snoop Dogg saying "this Volt is in reverse."
Automotive engineers deliberately making the engine noise play a power chord.
Instead of banning whistle tips, legislators mandating that they play a 7th chord, and also that the driver must know enough music theory to explain why they chose that chord.
Being on the sideshow mailing list so you can attend every sideshow.
All the different motions you have to make to wash the entire surface of both hands.
A poem about not allowing fear to conquer you while you wash your hands.
A poem with a specific utility.
The lifelong pursuit of being okay with your own mortality.
Trying to learn to be happy with what you have.
How I fucked myself up.
How many waves coffee has.
Genetic sense of thirst.
Making up a magic number of ounces of water to drink.
Getting a water bottle and putting a cool sticker on it.
The lion's share of behavioral addiction.
Going downstairs into your morning environment.
The ritual pleasure of fidgeting with a cigarette.
Quitting smoking and having to find other rituals to fill the space smoking used to fill.
Your brain being like "remember cigarettes? That was cool" and you're like "that's a weird thing to bring up right now, brain."
Having a puff on a cigarette to find out if that's enough to get you addicted again.
What it would take to make smoking look uncool.
How much easier it is to quit smoking now that they have fidget spinners.
All the little adjustments you make to make your life more tolerable.
Embers of the Dawn by Bronze Hall.
Pumping your fist while you think about elves.

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338. Placebo Yourself into Having a Phenomenal Time