Having a need is not the same as being needy. Those two got conflated so early that for a lot of us they feel identical. They're not.

This week's anonymous question: "Every time I try to ask for what I need I either over-explain and justify for twenty minutes, or I say nothing and then explode two weeks later. I was told so many times as a kid that I was too needy that I don't know how to have a need anymore. How do I ask without it being a whole thing?"

I break down where the "I'm too much" story comes from, why over-explaining and exploding are the same protection wearing different clothes, and what a clean, direct ask actually sounds like.

This is for you if:

You justify before you ask
You go quiet and blow up later
You were called dramatic or too much as a kid

Homework: pick one small need. Say it out loud. No preamble, no apology, no justification. Just "I need ____."

Your needs are not the problem. They never were.

Resources & Links

Take the Burnout Quiz: https://adversityrising.com/quiz
Liberated Living Program: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living
Free Guide, Five Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day: https://adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient
Submit a question for a future AMA: https://adversityrising.com/shame-free-qa
Book a Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call

Connect with Kyira

Instagram & TikTok: @adversityrising

Website: https://adversityrising.com
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/untethering-shame/id1691795543