You lie one to two times a day. So do I. And most of those lies have nothing to do with being a bad person.

In this episode I sit down with Mary Beth Thomsen, intuitive and spiritual life coach, psychic medium, and shamanic practitioner, to unpack the real psychology of lying: why we lie, how lying starts in childhood as a survival strategy, and how those same protective habits turn into self betrayal as adults.

Mary Beth teaches her clients how to do deep internal assessments to understand where they are holding themselves back from living their most authentic lives. Her upcoming book, Burn the Ships: The Power of Telling Your Truth to Yourself and the World, gets right to the heart of what we do here: releasing shame so you can live rooted in truth, self trust, and radical acceptance.

We get into why lying is almost always about safety and belonging, not malice. Why being lied to can be one of the most triggering experiences even if you have lied plenty yourself. How to teach kids honesty without shaming them. And the question underneath all of it: where in your life are you saying yes when you really mean no?

What we cover:

What actually counts as a lie, and the lies we tell without knowing it
Why kids start lying around age 2 to 3 and what it really means
The research: 60 percent of adults lie at least once in a 10 minute conversation
Why being lied to is a trauma trigger
How to teach children truth telling and boundaries without shame
The link between shame, secrecy, and image management
How to use your body as a truth barometer
What self betrayal really is and where it hides in your daily life
The five years from now exercise for getting radically honest
Why truth telling sometimes costs you relationships, and why it is still worth it

Take the next step:
Mary Beth created a free Truth-Telling Assessment for this conversation. It is a self betrayal inventory that helps you find where in your life you are not being fully honest with yourself. Take it here: https://www.soulshinescoaching.com/truth

Connect with Mary Beth Thomsen:
Website: https://www.soulshinescoaching.com/
Truth-Telling Assessment: https://www.soulshinescoaching.com/truth
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulshinescoaching/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/soulshinescoaching/
Book: Burn the Ships: The Power of Telling Your Truth to Yourself and the World (coming soon)

Chapters:
0:00 Intro: lying is more layered than you think
2:12 What is a lie, actually?
3:33 The lies we tell ourselves without knowing
6:08 Why we lie: it was never about being bad
7:19 How often adults really lie
9:26 Lying to belong
13:34 Why being lied to is a trauma trigger
14:31 How do we teach kids when and how to lie?
18:35 The compliant kid problem
22:08 Body agency
28:47 Shame, secrecy, and image management
29:52 Your body as a truth barometer
30:51 The Self Betrayal Inventory
35:22 What self betrayal really means
38:28 Values, alignment, and designing an honest life
42:37 The five years from now exercise
44:29 Compassion and the permission slip to tell the truth
46:33 The cost of honesty
52:23 The Cheryl Strayed quote that says it all

If this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs permission to tell the truth. New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one.