In this episode, I am joined by Kathy Wisniewski, certified health coach, owner of True and Lasting Wellness, and host of the Tragically Beautiful podcast, for an honest conversation about shame, abuse, and reclaiming personal power.

We unpack why abusive and disempowering relationships are often misunderstood, how shame keeps people silent, and why leaving is not the same as healing. Kathy shares her personal experience through narcissistic abuse, perfectionism, and loss of self, and how learning to love herself enough to set boundaries changed everything.

During our conversation, we discuss how narcissistic personalities often cast themselves as either the victim or the hero. They may begin a relationship with intense love bombing, giving all their attention and affection, before their mask slips and they begin to distance themselves and withhold affection. Kathy opens up about how shame acts as a silencer. She kept her experience a secret because she had bought into the narrative that her relationship was a meant-to-be fairy tale that started in high school.

We also explore the painful emotions of shame and embarrassment. Overcoming this requires confronting lonely moments and doing inner child healing. A major realization for Kathy was understanding that her lack of boundaries stemmed from not loving herself enough. Often, people feel inherently defective or broken, leading them to believe they do not deserve to set boundaries. By overcoming this double dose of shame, the shame of the abuse itself and the shame of feeling like she should have known better, Kathy was able to channel her energy into serving others.

If you have ever questioned your worth, stayed too long, or wondered why setting boundaries feels so hard, this conversation will meet you with clarity and compassion.

Key Takeaways

Abuse thrives in silence, shame, and perfectionism.

Narcissistic relationships often start with intense affection and love bombing before the partner becomes distant and withdrawn.

Leaving a relationship does not automatically heal the nervous system.

A lack of personal boundaries often comes from not loving oneself enough and feeling inherently broken.

Shame acts as a silencer, keeping people trapped in a false narrative about their relationship.

Victims often experience a double dose of shame because they believe they should have known better.

Healing involves turning painful energy into a desire to provide service to others.

About Kathy Wisniewski

Kathy Wisniewski is a passionate and dedicated health coach certified through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and the owner of True and Lasting Wellness. With a deep commitment to comprehensive healing, she specializes in empowering survivors of abuse to rewrite their stories and reclaim their wellbeing across all key areas of their lives. Kathy is also the host of the Tragically Beautiful podcast, a platform dedicated to helping abuse survivors share their stories while celebrating the beautiful things that life can offer beyond trauma. Through candid conversations and inspiring narratives, Kathy and her guests shed light on the transformative power of healing and a positive mindset.

Connect with Kathy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tragicallybeautifulpodcast

Instagram (Podcast): https://www.instagram.com/tragicallybeautifulpodcast

Instagram (Kathy): https://www.instagram.com/coachkathywisniewski

Get Connected.

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Listen to my Podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9c

Take the Next Step.

Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient

Shame & Narcissistic Abuse: When Love Slowly Turns Into Self-Abandonment with Kathy Wisniewski