"The shame is it usually means curing yourself of yourself."

In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with David Bedrick, psychotherapist, teacher, and author with more than 35 years of experience working with trauma, shame, addiction, body image, and chronic symptoms. David created The Unshaming Way, an approach that treats painful experiences as meaningful signals rather than problems to fix. This is his second time on the show, and we went somewhere I did not plan for.

We start with what it costs to belong. David calls it the assimilationist curse, the quiet agreement that says you can stay as long as you become smaller, quieter, less yourself. He points to James Baldwin on the price of the ticket, and then he makes it personal. He is 70. His body is inflamed. Instead of asking how to reduce the inflammation, he asks what he is inflamed about.

That question turns the whole conversation. If a symptom is a signal, then the thing you have been trying to eliminate might be the part of you still fighting for something. David tells the story of a client whose relationship with food had been treated as a disorder for decades, and what changed when someone finally asked what her refusal was protecting instead of how to make it stop. He calls it her power. He calls it every piece of medicine she needs in her life.

Then he turns it on me. What follows was not planned, and it is the part of this episode I keep coming back to. We do live work on my own anger, the part of me that wants to be seen, and David shows what unshaming actually looks like in real time. Not resolving the conflict. Living it.

This conversation is for you if:

You have been working on yourself for years and still feel like the goal is to become someone else
Your body is telling you something and every professional you have seen wants to quiet it
You have been called too much, too intense, too angry, or too needy
You are tired of being asked to find balance between parts of you that do not want to compromise
You want to know what healing looks like when nothing is wrong with you

More about David:

David Bedrick is a psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 35+ years of experience working with trauma, shame, addiction, body image, and chronic symptoms. He created The Unshaming Way, which reframes painful experiences as meaningful signals, not problems to fix.

Rooted in process-oriented psychology and somatic work, his approach blends depth psychology and social justice, and explores how shame is shaped by the ways we are witnessed by people and culture.

He is the author of five books, including The Unshaming Way and The Unshaming Way Workbook, and writes for Psychology Today.

His work is also personal, shaped by childhood abuse and the denial surrounding it, which he identifies as central to how shame takes hold.

Connect with David:

Website
Instagram
The Unshaming Way: A Compassionate Guide to Dismantling Shame
The Unshaming Way Workbook, available now
David's Psychology Today articles
Episode 1: S2E41

Ready to take the next step?

Download the free handout, 5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day, and start making those daily shifts to break the shame cycle that is keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.

Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support that best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.