In this episode of Untidy, Hannah and Matty dive between the sheets with somatic sexologist, Melissa Vranjes, to talk about finding your way back from feeling disconnected from yourself, your partner, and your libido, and into the realms of deep, embodied desire. But first, it all begins with a truly harrowing bad sex story ... (Eeek!)

Mel unpacks the “lightbulb moment” that began her journey from performative, disconnected sex into a more embodied, pleasure-led way of relating to her body, and why so many women are still stuck waiting to feel in the mood.

They get into responsive desire, the wonders of “chore play”, the mental load of motherhood, and why “vanilla” sex might actually be doing more heavy lifting than we give it credit for. Mel shares how to reconnect with your body without pressure, how to find your way back after natural seasons of sexual “rest”, and how to actually ask for what you want in the bedroom.

If things have started to feel a little… flatmatey with your partner, consider this a roadmap to finding your way back to deep desire and satisfying, embodied sex. Whoop!!!

As always, thanks for being here. We appreciate the heck out of you!

Links referenced in the episode:

Melissa Vranjes website
Follow Mel on Instagram @melissavranjes
Listen to Mel’s ‘How to Have Sex’ podcast
‘Come as You Are’ by Emily Nagoski

For the ultimate Untidy fans, there’s more waiting inside Totally Untidy, where Matty and Bean properly let their hair down with behind-the-scenes stories not fit for the main feed.

If you’re loving Untidy, show your support is by tapping the ‘+ follow’ button in your podcast app and subscribing on YouTube! Fresh episodes will always be ready and waiting for you. Help us to build this community – share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review – it helps more people find our Untidy, unfiltered, and relatable chats. Thank you for supporting this independent production! We’re grateful you’re here!
– Hannah & Matty xx

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From disconnected to deep desire with Melissa Vranjes