← Victory Church: Paul Daugherty
Victory Church: Paul Daugherty
WHO ARE YOU WRESTLING WITH? | PAUL DAUGHERTY | JACOB SERIES PT. 1
00:55:19
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- [00:21]
Pastor Paul
All right, everybody say Jacob. And if you got a Bible, go to Genesis 32. Genesis 32. I want to title this message. Who are you wrestling with? Who are you wrestling with? Somebody's getting it back there. Come on. But before we get into this wrestling match, let me just tell you, Jacob was kind of known in the Bible as a wrestler. And Jacob, Jacob had complicated relationships with his brother, with his dad, his mom, his first wife, his second wife, his father in law. Kind of everybody, and I think all of us will find something in this series as we kick off today. We'll find something that we go, that is so good for me. And then if it's not good for you, you'll say, that's so good for someone. I know they need to Hear this. Genesis 32, verse 23. It says, after he had sent all of his possessions across the stream, he sent over both of his wives. We'll talk about that next week. That's kind of crazy. He sends over all of this stuff. He sends over everything he has. And by the way, he's sending this over to try to appease his brother Es. Esau was angry at him and had been angry at him for decades. Esau was on the hunt to try to kill him. At this moment in Jacob's life, he is 97 years old. And you might go, why are we starting the series at his age of 97? Can't we start at the beginning? We will. This is one of those movies where it, like, starts at the end and then rewinds and shows you how we got there. Okay, so he's 97 years old. And it says in verse 24, so. So Jacob was left alone. This might be the first moment in Jacob's life that he's left alone because he's kind of been always around people. He's kind of always been scheming with people. But now he's alone. And God does his greatest work when you're alone with him. Some of us are always trying to pull in music and noise and the sound and people. And we just gotta be around everybody. And God goes, can I just get you alone for one moment to do a work in your heart? And a man wrestled with Jacob till daybreak. Now, my Bible, the passage right here is titled Jacob wrestles with God, the man who wrestled with God. So Jacob is wrestling till daybreak. This is hours. When the man saw that he could not overpower Jacob, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip. It's gonna hurt before it gets healed. There's gonna Be a limp before there's a healing. There's always a breaking before the breakthrough. I'm preaching before I'm preaching. If you're looking for note takers are history makers. God's going to heal you, but you might have to go through a process of pain before you see the healing. And by the way, God doesn't inflict us with sickness and disease. God allows things in our life that bring us to a place of dependency on him so that we're not self reliant if we're the ones that made ourselves whole. And so Jacob was here. He was limping, but he wasn't letting go. He was limping, but he wasn't letting go. He was wrestling. Even with a limp. He kept wrestling God. And the man said, let me go for it's daybreak. But Jacob said, I will not let you go unless you bless me. Now this word bless here doesn't necessarily mean financially blessed because Jacob was wealthy. One thing you're going to realize in this series is that Jacob, he had like an, like an instinct for increase. This man knew how to prosper wherever he went. Jacob had like a generational blessing on his life. Can I tell you? You have a generational blessing if you are a Christian. You've been graphened into the family of God. You are heirs of the covenant of Abraham. You are positioned to prosper. God didn't put you on this earth to just eke your way and survive your way. Jacob knew what it was like to be blessed financially, but you can gain the whole world and lose your soul. You could have all the prosperity financially but still be bankrupt on the inside. When Jacob was clinging to God for a blessing, he wasn't saying, I want you to bless me with a new house or a new car or more money or more camels or another wife or more kids. That's not what Jacob was fighting for. Jacob was fighting for a blessing of soul prosperity, soul healing, soul blessing. I want to be blessed on the inside. I won't let go until you bless me for who I really am. And the man asked him, what is your name? Which is funny because they've been wrestling for seven hours and they still haven't introduced themselves to each other. Like, why didn't we talk about this in the beginning? But after seven hours of wrestling with this guy, he goes, who are you, by the way? What's your name? He says, jacob. And the man said, your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have wrestled with God, you have struggled with God and With humans, you have wrestled with family and with relationships, and you have overcome. Come on. I'm looking at some overcomers in the room today. Some of y' all have been in a wrestling match, and you're coming out as an overcomer. Jacob said, tell me your name. He said, why do you ask me my name? Then he blessed him there. And Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, it is because I saw God face to face and he spared my life. Lord, I pray that you would speak to us today. Let us leave changed, refreshed, encouraged, and challenged by your word, in Jesus name. Everybody said, amen. I need two helpers for a moment. I'm going to call up our youth pastors, Pastor Joseph and Pastor Jordan Camillo, and. And we're gonna have a little wrestling match in the room this morning. Come on. Standing in the right corner on this Super Bowl Sunday, representing the Seattle Seahawks. Nah, I'm just kidding. Standing about 5 foot 6, 200 strong, mighty pounds is Jordan Camilo. And standing in the left corner, standing a solid 5 foot 9, 9, 200 pro.
- [06:33]
Pastor Joseph
Joseph Kellogg. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Let's go.
- [06:39]
Pastor Paul
Come on. All right, pause right there. You're like, are we really having a wrestling match right now? Stay in the wrestling formation. This is what's going on in many of your souls right now. This is what was happening even as you came to church. Even right now, as I'm preaching. You are wrestling with the fact that this is so cringy, you're not sure if you should leave. You're like, I'm wrestling with wanting to go to the bathroom right now. My pastor's doing a wrestling match in church. And the truth is, we're all wrestling on a regular basis in our heads. We're wrestling. We're wrestling with ideas, we're wrestling with decisions. We're wrestling with our spouse. We're wrestling with somebody who's not even in the room. You're wrestling. You're having imaginary conversations with a boss who's not even here. How you want to tell them off? That manager, that supervisor who makes you feel this small, you're wrestling. And we're all wrestling with something. We're all wrestling with someone. For Jacob, he wasn't just wrestling God. He was wrestling with himself. He was wrestling with who he was and who he wanted to be. He was wrestling with the fact that he was at this age and he was still struggling with self worth. He was wrestling that. Here I am in my 90s, and I still don't know who I am. My Question for you this morning is, who or what are you wrestling with right now? Give these guys a big hand. Thank you. Joseph and Jordan. Who or what? Ask that person next to you. Who or what are you wrestling with? Jacob didn't just start wrestling in Genesis 32. He had been wrestling long before this. Every character in the Bible has a backstory. Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. Every saint in this room, no matter how sanctified you think you are, you do have a past. And every sinner in this room, even if you sinned right before you came to church, you're in the right place because you got a bright future. God can change your life today. God can set you free from that sin and get you on the right path today. Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. And every character God used in the Bible and has a backstory. So we look at Jacob wrestling, right? Here we go. Well, where did this wrestling start? The wrestling in Jacob started when he was just a baby. In fact, it started even before he was born. We meet Jacob before he's even on the scene. Jacob had a dad named Isaac. I want to go to Genesis 25, verse 21. This is the rewind moment in the movie, in the series, where you go, okay, let's understand a little bit of this character. Where did he come from? What was going on in his family? When you look at the story in the Bible, the first couple in the Bible was Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve obviously had their flaws. They were the first ones to sin. They kind of messed things up for us in the garden. And then after that, they had two boys, Cain and Abel. Cain and Abel were two brothers. They were supposed to get along, work together with each other. One brother got jealous. The wrestling match began. But Cain was wrestling with something on the inside called anger, and he couldn't win that fight. And ultimately, he succumbed to feeling. And by the way, the ultimate act of anger and bitterness and offense towards a brother is murder. That's why if you don't deal with that hurt and that offense right now, it's going to turn into an avalanche down the road. After Cain killed Abel, he went on the run. The world became full of broken families, dysfunctional marriages, abusive fathers, abusive sons, people that were on the run, dealing with addictions and strongholds. And you go, well, what does that have to do with me? Every single one of you has a backstory, whether you choose to believe it or not. There are generational bends that go back to your father. Your grandfather, your mother, your grandmother. And you might go, well, Paul, I'm sanctified by the blood of Jesus. And that is true. But you have to deal with some generational things that might go back before you were even born. We meet Jacob on the run. We meet Jacob in a wrestling match with God. But we forget that Jacob's wrestling match started long before he was here. Man was wrestling with God since the very first person that was created, wrestling with. What did God say? What did God want? When you go through Noah's story and then Abraham's story, you meet Abraham and Sarah. And they struggled and wrestled with their own questions of waiting on God and trusting in God. Sarah tells Abraham, I don't think God's going to come through on his promise. And they're wrestling with the weight of. Some of us get frustrated wrestling with the weight for God to do something that we thought he was going to do. By now, I'm 40, and I'm still dealing with this. I'm a man. I'm 40, you know, and I'm still wrestling. And then Abraham finally does see the promise Isaac. And in verse 21, Isaac prays to the Lord. So Isaac is 40 years old. He's married to Rebecca. He's been waiting for this dream one day to have kids. They've been told they can't have kids. Rebecca is barren. She can't have children. And so Isaac prays to the Lord, be careful what you pray for. Cause God will answer those prayers. I remember when Ash and I were praying for one kid, and now we got five more kids. And I'm like, thank you, Lord. That's good enough. Thank you for those answers. God will answer your prayers. And when she became pregnant back then, they didn't have sonograms. Ashlyn and I, we enjoyed during each pregnancy, going to find out what the baby. There was only one baby. We didn't find out what the gender was. And that was Benaiah. And we went to get the sonogram to find out. You know, you go into the room and they've got the machines and, you know, Ashley's laying down there in the rut. They got like, you know what I'm talking about. I don't know all this stuff. But they basically do this machine thing. And the computer shows you a picture of what's inside the womb. And this is what I'm imagining God is doing for Isaac and Rebecca. God's, you know, showing them a little bit of a spiritual sonogram, but physical sonogram, like Let me show you what's going on inside of you. And the truth is, we all need this spiritually. We all need to be asking God what's going on inside of me. Why am I wrestling with fear? Why am I wrestling with insecurity? Why am I wrestling with a person in my life that I just feel like I've got to win their approval? Why am I having imaginary conversations in my car every single day with this person, you know, and just telling them off? And people. I remember hearing this story from another preacher. He said there was this boxer who won a championship. And after the championship, the interviewer came in with the camera and began to interview him, like, how do you feel? And he's like, I told you I'm not a loser. I told you I'm not a loser.
- [13:14]
Pastor Joseph
I'm not a failure, dad. I'm not a failure.
- [13:16]
Pastor Paul
And the interviewer is looking behind him like, who's he talking to? And the boxer had snapped out of his mind. He was still fighting and wrestling with his dad, who had been dead for 15 years, who told him, as a little boy, you're not even good enough. You're a loser. You're a failure. And the day that he wins the championship, 15 years after his dad's dead, he's still wrestling with the demons of his dad's voice in his head, ask that person next to you, who are you wrestling with? So Isaac prays to the Lord on behalf of his wife. She was childless. And the Lord answered his prayer. And his wife, Rebecca, became proud pregnant. And she started feeling something. Before there's a delivery, there's always tension. Before there's a breakthrough, there's always a conflict in the womb. There's a conflict before you step into your destiny. And what's happening is Rebecca starts to feel something. In verse 22, it says, the babies, look at this. Jostled each other within her. In other words, there's this wrestling match. Before they're even out of the womb, they're already fighting with each other. Talk about sibling rivalry to the next level. Like they were fighting for who's gonna come out first. Because if you were the firstborn, if you were the oldest, you got the inheritance, you got the blessing, you got the birthright. You got your dad's approval over the other brother. Like, the first was a big deal. And so they're fighting for this. And then she says, why is this happening? Every woman who gets pregnant asks this question, why? During the morning sickness? And they look at their husband, and Ashley looks at me. Right. Why? I'm like, my bad. You know, in the hospital, I was holding her hand during one of the babies, and I was like, you're doing great. I'll be right back. I'm gonna go to McDonald's, get some fries. She's like, don't you leave this room. This is your fault. I was like, okay, Everybody say, why? So Rebecca is saying, why is this happening? There's this stirring. There's this conflict. Even Rebecca is feeling a wrestling match. She wanted to have kids, but now having kids is way harder than she thought it was gonna be. Being a mom is way more painful than she expected. And she's wrestling with this. And in her wrestling match, I love that she went to the Lord. When you're wrestling with someone or something, the most important place to go is not Facebook, not TikTok, not Instagram, not your text thread with all your girls and all your guys, not your ex. See, some people when they're in a wrestling match with the current relationship, they go back to someone else. Like, I just can't stand this person I'm with right now. And I'm telling you, that is a recipe for more dysfunction in your future. When you're in a wrestling match with someone, don't run to another person. Run to God first. So she inquires of the Lord, and the Lord speaks to her. God says, there's two nations in your womb. The fight we see between Palestine and Israel today didn't start in the last hundred years. It started thousands of years ago. The fight of Islam versus Judaism and Christianity. This fight's been going on for a long time. God says, there's two nations in your womb. There's two peoples from within you, and they will be separated when they come out. One people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger. God was prophesying this younger sibling that comes out. Whoever comes out second is actually going to end up becoming first. Whoever comes out youngest is actually going to be the leader. Now fast forward. When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. And the first to come out was Red. And his whole body was like a hairy garment. Any hairy guys in the room today? You guys are awesome. I envy you. I got 120 hairs on my chin. I'm still trying to get to, like, 200, 300. But the hairy men. Listen, Esau is your guy. He was, like, the first hairy man that came into the earth. He. And they named him Esau. He was a outdoorsman. He just could grow a beard when he was five years old, this guy was just like. He was a manly man, a duck dynasty, just strong. He knew how to, you know, he knew all this stuff outside. Jacob was a sweet guy. Jacob was a mama's boy, right? He stayed at home. He watched Downton Abbey with his mom. He watched all the sweet, like, shows. Little House on the Prairie. So Jacob comes out. But listen, Jacob comes out, and Jacob is grasping. Look at that. He's grasping his brother's heel. He's wrestling. He's like, I'm not content with where I'm at. That grasp right there is why they named him Jacob in that context. I'm not saying this is the definition of Jacob today, but in that context, back then, the name Jacob actually meant heel grabber. That was what they called him, the heel grabber. A man who grabs, a man who takes, a man who usurps a supplanter. In other words, I'm not happy with where I'm at. I've got to grab to get into another position. And if I have to grab and scheme and manipulate or deceive my way, I will do it to get ahead of my brother. And so Jacob is grabbing for it. The truth is, we all have a little bit of Jacob in us, whether you admit it or not, because Jacob represents in this story, really the fleshly nature. Paul the Apostle says in Romans, chapter seven, I'm in a wrestling match with myself. And people are like, paul, are you a schizophrenic? What are you talking about? He says, no, I'm in this wrestling match. It's me versus me. It's the spiritual me that's been baptized and saved and sanctified and raised my hand, went to an altar, and Jesus changed my life. Ananias laid his hands on me and scales fell from my eyes. That's the spiritual side of me. I used to be Saul of Tarsus, now I'm Paul the Apostle. But I still have this fleshly side of me. And the fleshly side of me is constantly wrestling with the spiritual side of me, the fleshly. It tells me to do things I know I shouldn't do, and I do the things I know I shouldn't do, and the things I know I'm supposed to do, I don't do. How many y' all can relate a little bit to Paul's internal wrestling match? Even when it comes to, like, eating cookies and donuts, you're like, I know I shouldn't have more food. See, we harp on certain sins and then when it comes to gluttony, we're like, don't talk about that. Oh, we gonna talk about that in this series. Because gluttony is what stole Esau's birthright. When you don't deal with hunger on the inside, you become so desperate, you trade what is permanently valuable for something that's temporarily satisfying. And it's not just gluttony. It's lust. Cause lust promises you this. Like, fast forward with me a little bit. Fast forward. Let me go a little bit further. When Isaac was old and his eyes were. No, no, no, not this. Go back to Genesis 25. Genesis 25. I want to go. There it is. Okay, next verse. Sorry. The boys grew up. Everybody say the boys grew up. Esau became a skillful hunter, man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents. Okay, so Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau. Okay, there it is. One of the reasons why Jacob wrestled with self acceptance was because he felt like his dad loved his brother more than him. I think sometimes as parents, we gotta be careful when and how we show love and favoritism because it stirs the wrestling match for validation. I think some of the reasons we see so much addiction and hurts and wounds and things that people run to and sexual addictions and drugs, all of it is to fill a void. You have a hole in your soul that is the size of God. And alcohol won't fix it. Marijuana won't fix it. Cocaine won't fix it. Another hookup with another girl or guy won't fix it. Changing your gender won't fix it. Changing your sexuality won't fix it. Trying everything in the world won't fit. Only God can fill it. Jacob had a hole, and you do, too. And even after we're saved, it's like, sometimes we forget this. And so time goes on. Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, and this was a really good bowl of soup, like, this was a nice bowl of soup. This was a Super Bowl. That was my dad plug joke. On Super Bowl Sunday, Esau came in from the open country, and he was famished. He's like, give me that Super Bowl. Give me that soup bowl. Give me that bowl of soup. He says to Jacob, quick, I need some. I'm famished. And watch what Jacob says. First, sell me your birthright. What Jacob went from like, all right to give me your birthright. Like, that was. Jacob was a schemer. He was a. He knew what he was doing. He was getting that soup. So good. He was making it so tasty. This is what the devil does. He makes it so enticing. Sin keeps you longer than you want to stay, cost you more than you want to pay, and leads you down a path of destruction. Self destruction. It smells so good. Ah, it's been a while since I had a bowl of soup. I need that soup. I can't live without that soup.
- [22:25]
Pastor Joseph
I need more.
- [22:27]
Pastor Paul
I haven't done it in a long time. I haven't looked at it in a long time. I haven't tried it in a long time. I gotta have it. And Jacob was almost tempting him, like, you want it? You want it. Sell me your birthright. And Esau looks at him and he says, I'm about to die. Exaggeration. He's not going to die. But hunger will lead to exaggeration if you don't deal with it. He says, what good is this birthright to me? What good is this birthright to me? He despised his own birthright. He sold his birthright for a bowl of soup. So often we give up what we want most for what we want right now. Proverbs 29:18 says, Without a vision, people perish. Where there is no vision, people cast off. Restraint. When you stop wrestling for a brighter future, you become vulnerable to trade what is permanently valuable for something that is temporarily satisfying. By the way, wrestling is not a bad thing. One thing I want to just say in this first message is that God wants you to be a wrestler. You should be wrestling for a better you. You should be wrestling for a better marriage. You should be wrestling to become a better woman, a better man of God. You should be wrestling to keep your purity. You should be wrestling to stay out of sin. You should be wrestling to yield to the Holy Spirit. You should be. And by the way, wrestling looks like something. It looks like going to discipleship class. It looks like going to rehab. It looks like going to an altar call. It looks like coming to church. It looks like tithing. You're wrestling. It looks like getting your life back on track. Don't tell me you're wrestling when you're not doing anything to move towards who God's called you to be. When you stop wrestling, you start settling. When you stop fighting, you stop living. And you start despising your birthright. And you sell it for a bowl of soup. You sell it for a prostitute. You sell Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Judas, you betray your position in the kingdom of God for 30 minutes of slander and gossip. In a conversation about Somebody, what are you trading for a bowl of soup? Where have you stopped wrestling to shut your mouth and honor God and honor others? Where have you stopped wrestling to be the man, the woman that God's called you to be? Somewhere in the journey, Esau just gave up. He's like, I don't even care about my life, by the way. Hurt people hurt more people. Loved people love more people. Loved people who know the love of God. Show the love of God to others really well. Hurt people hurt other people really well. People who despise their own birthrights start despising other people's lives. We're seeing this worldwide, by the way. The dehumanization of any race or age or person should be absolutely condemned. And we condemn it right here in this church, whether it's in the White House, your house, my house. Don't ever put down another person. Every human life is valuable. From the womb to the tomb, no matter what race or religion or ethnicity or age or gender, every human life is valuable. But Esau didn't see this. Esau thought, I'm not valuable, so give me that bowl of soup. And he trades it and he takes the soup. But he loses his birthright. I remember when I was pastoring Our college ministry, 3D, our young adults, and there would be sometimes singles who would come to meet with me, and they'd be like, I am tired of wrestling with the weight. I've been waiting for the right guy, the right girl. I keep waiting. My friends keep dating. They keep getting married. Some of my friends who aren't really following Jesus, they're just sleeping with whoever. And it just feels so good. And my hormones are ranging, and I just want to take anything that has two legs. And I'm like, okay, we need to hold this person back. This is not the time to introduce them to someone at church because they are just ready. When you are led by your hormones, you are not led by the Holy Spirit. And you sell your birthright for a bowl of soup. You trade. You just get married to someone because you just want to have. You know what I'm talking about. I got to keep it G because I got kids in the room. Okay? The truth is, how many people have traded long term vision for short term happiness? Without a vision, people cast off restraint. Jacob is in a conflict with who he wants to be and who he really is, who he knows he's supposed to be. And then it leads to worse things. After the birthright, he recognizes his brother doesn't even like himself. But then he still is questioning. He's like, why does my dad like my brother more than me when my brother doesn't even like himself? How valuable does that make me? Today I'm feeling kind of good because I got a varsity jacket. Someone gave it to me. But I didn't have one in middle school or high school. Even in college, I always wanted one. Friends. Friends of mine got starter jackets, and I thought they were the coolest kids ever. I was like, they got a Dallas Cowboy starter, Jack. Other friends had varsity jackets. My friend Daniel and I, we grew up together. We both tried out for the varsity basketball team our sophomore year. Our coach said, neither of you are good enough to have your own jersey. So you're going to share a jersey. You're going to be a half player. One of you gets to suit up for one game, and then the next game, the other one. I said, well, when. When we're not suiting up, what do we do? He goes, you sit in the stands with all the fans. I was like, I can't even sit on the bench. He's like, no. He's like, you get to switch off. So Daniel and I basically were a half player. You know, I wore a jersey one game. He wore a jersey the other game. Then we find out at the end of the season for the tournament, he's like, hey, I happen to have one extra jersey. I'll let you guys. We were like, the whole season, you had an extra jersey. But it drove this feeling of, am I worthy? Am I good enough? Am I qualified? And I think Jacob dealt with that same feeling in Genesis 27, verse 1. When Isaac was getting older, he knew it was time to give a blessing to his oldest son. So he calls in Esau and he says, I want you to go out, make me a meal. Go kill a wild buck or something and bring it in and cook me a meal. And then I'm going to lay my hands on you, and I'm going to bless you, Esau. Rebecca overhears this. She goes into Jacob's room. She says, look, I overheard your father talking to your brother Esau, the one that he loves. He's going to bless him. But you deserve that blessing, Jacob, even though he doesn't love you the way he loves Esau. So here's what we're gonna do. And his mom starts scheming. She says, I want you to go and make a meal real fast while your brother's out. Bring that meal in. Trick your dad. Jacob's like, he's gonna know my brother has hairy arms and I've got smooth skin. I love this conversation in the Bible. It's so funny. And his mom says, I'll figure out a way to trick your dad. Let the curse fall on me. And so she sends him out, he makes a meal, and then she begins to look for clothes. It says in verse 15, she found the best clothes of her older son, which she had in the house, and she put them on her younger son. So here Rebecca is dressing up her son to be someone that he's not. Parents, we gotta be careful what we put on our kids. We gotta be careful who we try to make our kids to be, to live vicariously through them. I'm watching kids in sports right now because I've got all my kids playing different sports. And some of these parents get crazy at the little elementary basketball and games. They're like, ah. And I can tell they're trying to live their high school dreams through their seven year old. And I'm like, dude, just let the kid be a kid, right? But somehow we're trying to put something on kids that God's not putting on them, we're putting on them. We gotta ask ourselves, why am I putting this for Rebekah? She was like, I just want Jacob to have what I think he deserves, and I have to make him look like someone that he's not. So she dresses him up. The next verse, she covers his hands and he tricks his dad. But he doesn't trick God. He gets the blessing. But as soon as he gets the blessing, Esau hears about it and says, if I find my brother, I'm gonna kill him. So Rebekah tells Jacob, run, run as far as you can, as fast as you can, and don't look back. And that's where Jacob runs for the next several years. Running from his family, running from his brother, living as an imposter. I was talking to a businessman recently and he said, do you ever deal with imposter syndrome? I said, probably. Tell me about it. He's like, okay. He's like, cause I deal with it. He's like, I know a lot of different pastors and business leaders that like something that we gotta really overcome. I said, yeah. So he starts talking to me about this imposter syndrome. And I think this is really where Jacob is at. The imposter syndrome is the desire to become impressive in the eyes of man, to become accepted, affirmed, approved, loved. And it leads to these rules on the inside, These rules of should, always, never. I should know everything that people ask me I should get it right. I shouldn't look like a failure. And it drives this fear of being found out that you're not as qualified as you appear to be, that you're not as perfect as you appear to be, that you're not as put together as you appear to be. And you have these feelings of, I should never make a mistake. I should never need help from others, because needing help from others makes me look like I'm a failure and that I'm not good enough. And at the root of the imposter syndrome is shame and fear. The fear of being found out that you actually don't have it all together. And the shame that in the eyes of others, you may actually be a failure. And so you run and you hide. And for Jacob, I think this is where he was at. His mom was trying to get him to dress up in a costume to look like someone he wasn't, to get a blessing that he actually wasn't supposed to get, that his dad was going to give to his brother. And one of the different types of imposter syndromes that was listed in this book on people that struggle with this is this perfectionist mindset. It's this focus on how something is done that it has to be 100% perfect. Any little detail that's wrong is failure. And that failure leads to shame. And by the way, the devil rides on shame. The devil uses shame. From Genesis, chapter three. This is where Adam and Eve, after they sinned, they find out we're naked. They didn't know they were naked until all of a sudden, shame came in. Shame showed them, you don't have it all together. You're not like you look, something's off, something's embarrassing about you. And they begin to hide behind the leaves, behind the trees. They try to blend in. And God's looking for them, like Adam.
- [33:07]
Pastor Joseph
Eve, where are you?
- [33:10]
Pastor Paul
And this desire to appear perfect kept them covering themselves, dressing themselves up to try to appear like they hadn't done anything wrong. God knows you can fool everyone, but you can't fool God. You can trick your spouse, but you can't trick God. You can trick your church, but you can't trick God. You can trick your kids, you can trick your parents, but you can't trick God. The second type of imposter syndrome is the expert. I want the band to come out. The expert is someone who thinks they know it all. I have to know it all. Any minor lack of knowledge would show people that I don't know it all. And if they Think I don't know it all, then they're gonna think I'm stupid. And if they think I'm stupid, that means I'm a failure. And again, it drives this imposter syndrome. Then the soloist. The soloist cares so much about looking like. I did this all by myself. I didn't need anybody's help. I did it all by myself. And by the way, this is why we need connect groups. This is why we need community. Because it breaks the spirit of imposter syndrome. I don't just do everything between me and God. I have a community of brothers and sisters. I have a band of brothers. I have a wife who's with me. I have accountability. I have a spiritual advisory team. I need people. And you do too. But when you've been betrayed by people, you stop trusting people and you start stiff arming people and you say, just stay back. I'm gonna do this by myself. Solo mode. And then there's the natural genius imposter. This is the person who wants to come across like they naturally did everything with ease. It didn't take any hard work. It was so fast. Just God, I'm just a natural, just supernaturally gifted in this situation. And you are saved. But you are not always supernatural. You are being sanctified by the goodness and the grace of God. Because the truth is, you still got some Jacob in you. Jacob would leave and he would run and he would go searching for a wife to try to fill the void in his soul. Falls in love with this girl named Rachel. We're gonna talk about this next week. You don't wanna miss next week. Rachel is the one he wants, but he wakes up with Leah. And we all wake up with Leah at some point in our lives. Because the truth is, you are Leah. I am Leah. Sometimes don't act like you're always beautiful. Sometimes you got an ugly side in you. And don't knock on Leah. Leah was a great, great woman. Leah's gonna tell us a lot you're gonna want to hear about Leah next week. Guys. This is like I. This story, Jacob's story is so crazy and so good. The story of Jacob in the Bible might be one of my top five favorite stories. And you're like, who is Leah? Who is Rachel? These are the two wives of Jacob. Oh, it's gonna get crazy. It's like Jerry Springer. More crazy. It's just wild. This is just a really good drama. But track with me. Joseph, come up here. When I was in high school, we to used. Used to do arm Wrestling tournaments. And I was trying to do this recently. I was at a birthday party, and a group of guys, even in our late 30s, early 40s now, we're still trying to prove how awesome we are. What is going on with the imposter syndrome? It's like I wanted my wife to think I am so strong. And I was arm wrestling my friend Daniel and arm wrestling my friend Ryan. And it was like a tournament. And I was like, I am worthy. I am qualified.
- [36:22]
Pastor Joseph
I am better than this. I'm better.
- [36:27]
Pastor Paul
Thank you, Joseph. He let me win just so my wife would think I'm awesome. The truth is, there's a lot of different parts of us that we don't always show everyone because we don't want everyone to know all the parts about us that aren't pretty, that aren't always put together. One of the last parts of the imposter syndrome is Mr. And Mrs. Plastic. Now, I added this one because I was like, this is. This is a lot of people. Can you just see the tears in their eyes? They're just trying to hold it together. They're like, we got it all together. Everything's fine. Perfect marriage. Everybody's good. Kids are amazing. Everybody's got a 4.0 GPA. We're amazing. We are Mr. And Mrs. Plastic. And then there's the plastic Barbie. Where's she at? There she is. She is struggling, y'. All. Mascara running down her shirt, says, it's all good. It's not all good, Barbie. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes you are struggling and you don't want to admit it. You're wrestling. You're wrestling, Barbie. You're wrestling with who you are and who you want to be. You're wrestling with who your mom told you you had to be. You're wrestling with who your dad said you're not. God won't bless the plastic you. God won't anoint the fake you. The imposter syndrome you. God will only bless the real you. Which leads us back to where we started. Genesis 32. Jacob is here. He's been running. He's been pretending. And by the way, he's been prospering. You can prosper in the pretend version of you. You can actually get the house, the car, the spouse, the kids, the vacation home. Jacob had it all, but he was bankrupt. In his soul, he was still wrestling, even though he was prospering. Isn't it crazy? You can have so much money and still be wrestling with your identity. You still don't know who you are. And Jacob's here and he's and by the way you go, what does this have to do with relationships? Your relationship with you is probably one of the most important relationships you have. Because if you don't love you, you won't love your wife, you won't love your husband, you won't love others. If you don't love you for who God loves you as he loves the wretched you, not just the more improved you. Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I need to know that God loves me. Yes, when I am at the altar and I am surrendered and things are good and I'm patient and I'm walking in the fruits of the spirit, but he also loves me even when I'm a far ways off eating from the pig's pen wondering if there's still a spot in my dad's house that God loves the wretched you, the good you and the hard you, the bad you, the you in the valleys and the you on the mountains, the you with the trophy and the you with the the loss he loves all of you. Tell that person next to you he loves all of you. Verse 24 Jacob was left alone and he wrestled with God till daybreak. And this is what I would call the er. This is the emergency room. This is the surgeon table. Speaking of surgery, I had surgery this last week. I wasn't going to tell you because I was embarrassed by it. I had surgery on my nose. Turns out I've had a deviated septum for 20 plus years. My wife's been telling me something's been off and you know, I had had a few nose breaks and I never got them reset. People were like, you kind of got an Owen Wilson nose going on. It's kind of going different directions at times. And I was like, it's fine, I am who I am. But then I felt like I wasn't breathing well and I went and got an X ray at the doctor's office a couple months ago and he said, you are 95% blocked on both nostrils. He said it's going to be painful but it's going to bring healing. He said I can give you medication that will temporarily relieve this for a little bit, but then I'll have to keep giving you that medication and it's not going to fix it long term. He said, if you want the long term fix, you're going to have to go through some major short term pain. But if you embrace the short term pain, you can expect experience the long term healing or I can keep giving you Band Aids. People settle for band Aids instead of surgery. And then they're 97 years old, still wrestling with God. So I recorded this video while I was on the surgeon table, and I thought I'd show you. Here it is.
- [40:59]
Pastor Joseph
All right.
- [40:59]
Pastor Jordan Camillo
Here I am starting the surgery. Sorry, I'm kind of on the drawing. Antibiotics. I'm not talking clearly, but the doctor said when he did the X ray on my nose that I had one of the worst deviated symptoms that he's ever seen. 95% blockage of both nostrils, which meant only 5% available space for air to flow through my nose, which led to head heavy breathing. Just a variety of, like, major stuffage all the time in the nose because the nasal cavities were basically swollen. And it got worse over the years. By the grace of God, we caught it dealing with it, fixing something that started 20 years ago. A few nose breaks and injuries that never did get reset and then led to things getting messed up on the inside. Sometimes you gotta go through the hard process of what needs to change to make you breathe better, live better, be fully alive. Don't be afraid of the surgery.
- [42:20]
Pastor Joseph
Don't be afraid of pain.
- [42:22]
Pastor Jordan Camillo
Don't be afraid of trust that I'm not going to fix it all. It's going to get better.
- [42:29]
Pastor Paul
Don't be afraid of trusting the doctor, the great physician, to fix it. He knows how to fix it. And that's where Jacob was at. He was at the great physician's office. Just him and God wrestling. Would you stand your feet all over this place? God won't bless the imposter you. God won't bless who you pretend to be. God only blesses who you really are. The breaking is part of the healing. The pressure, the pain, the wrestling match, it's all a part of God's way of healing. And so when Jacob is wrestling with God, God says, who are you? And I love that Jacob finally feels like he can say who he is. He's no longer pretending to be his brother. He's no longer trying to trick his dad to bless a version of him. That's not true. There's a lot of different versions of you. There's a lot of different me's out there. There's me as pastor Paul. There's me as husband Paul, me as daddy to Liam, Ellie, Benaiah, Mack, Gianna. The other ones, I don't know. There's a lot of. There's. There's me when I'm really hungry. There's me when I'M really impatient. There's me when I'm hurt. There's me when I, you know, and all of it is part of me. But I love that God loves all of us, but he love like he loves all. He loves all of you. He loves hangry you. He loves impatient you. He loves impulsive you. He loves the past you, the present you, the future you. He's not just waiting for a more improved you to start loving you. And this is where Jacob finally figures out I can just tell him who I am. I'm Jacob. I'm the guy that's been struggling since I was born. I'm the guy that's been wrestling since I was in my mom's womb. I'm Jacob. I'm a product of my dad and mom. And sometimes I'm proud of that and sometimes I'm not. I'm Jacob. I've got hurts and offenses and I've been schemed by people and I've been betrayed by people. I'm Jacob and I've betrayed some people. I'm Jacob. It's me, the good, bad and ugly. I'm Jacob. And I'm on the surgeon table and you can do what you need to do, no matter how painful it is. And God hits him with a limp and he says, I'm still Jacob. I'm Jacob with a limp. I thought I was only Jacob when I was strong, when I had the wealth and the king, but I'm still Jacob and. And God looks at him. He says, you no longer have to call yourself Jacob. This is the transformation that happens in the presence of God. From now on, you are Israel. Israel means you have wrestled with God and you have triumphed. You have triumphed with God. You have struggled with humans, you have wrestled with yourself. You've wrestled with the demons, you've wrestled with the hurts. You've wrestled, wrestled with the wounds. You've wrestled with the fear of lack. You've wrestled with the finances. You've wrestled with the stress. You've wrestled with not feeling good enough in the eyes of your dad. You've wrestled with the feelings in your marriage. You've wrestled with all of it. And now I call you Israel because you are not just a deceiver, a cheater, a liar. You are an overcomer. You are a mighty man of God. You are a part of God's family. You are Israel. And you would think that the rest of the Bible, God refers to Jacob as Israel, but he doesn't. Because like hundreds of years later, he appears to a Man at a burning bush named Moses. And Moses says, why did you pick me? I murdered somebody. Why would you ask me to deliver the Israelites when I have a bad track record, a bad past? Who should I tell the Israelites who sent me? And God says, tell him I am sent. You. And Moses, like, who is I am? He says, I am. Is who I am. I am that I am. He says, well, can I get a little bit more? He says, I am the God of Abraham. I am the God of Isaac. And this is where you think he's going to say, I am the God of Israel. But he says, and I am the God of Jacob. I'm the God of even your past, Moses. I'm the God of even the parts of you that you don't want people to know about. I am your God. In the wrestling of sanctification, I am your God. In the days where you are still trying to figure out who you are and whether you are worthy, would you just bow your heads and close your eyes? Lord, I just pray right now that you would help us to wrestle, to wrestle in prayer, to wrestle, in surrender, to wrestle in worship, to wrestle in humility, to take off the mask, to just Lord, to find healing in your presence. I pray God that we would come to you and allow you to heal the parts of our hearts and our lives that we are wrestling with hurt. We're wrestling with people that wounded us. We're wrestling with people that we wounded. We're wrestling with feelings of could I ever be reconciled in that relationship? We're wrestling with decisions, life changing, career decisions, decisions. We're wrestling with raising kids. And in the wrestling match, I pray God that we would not settle for a lesser vision than what you have for us. I pray that we would wrestle like Jacob and say, I won't let go until you bless me. I won't stop wrestling until you change me. I won't stop fighting until I'm transformed to be more like you, Jesus. I feel like God's been talking to some of you in this service the whole, whole time. If that's you, just raise your hand. If you're wrestling with something right now, someone, something, something in your own life, why don't you just raise your hand? Maybe you're wrestling with where you're at, where you want to be. Maybe you're wrestling with some stuff that happened in your past. Maybe you're wrestling with the fear about the future. Maybe you're wrestling with the next chapter of, of your life. Maybe you're wrestling with this Decade. You're trying to figure out, who am I in my 50s, who am I in my 40s? Who am I right now in my 20s? Maybe you're wrestling with the weight. You're waiting to get pregnant. Pregnant. You're waiting to get married. You're waiting for the right person. But the wrestling has been hard. And you're saying, can you just pray for me right now? I am wrestling some stuff in my soul, in my spirit. If that's you, just raise your hand. I'm talking to you right now. The Holy Spirit's talking to you. Secondly, you're here today and you say, paul, I need to get right with God. I feel like God's been wrestling for my heart, to surrender, and I need to surrender. Today is the day of salvation. If that's you, lift your hand up. Today is the day where you say, jesus, I surrender. I repent of my sins. I am coming after you, Lord. I want to get into your purpose and out of my plans. If you raised your hand for either of those, I want you to leave your seat, come and meet me at this altar. We're going to cheer on brave men, brave women, husbands and wives, moms and dads, sons and daughters, college students, young adults. Whatever season of life you're in. As you come to this altar, I want you to just let the Holy Spirit work in you. Let's turn this into a spirit surgery room right now. Let's turn this into a wrestling. Let's let the Holy Spirit begin to wrestle some things out of us this morning. To say, God, if there's anything in me, God, that you need to change. If there's anything in me, God, that you need to remove, Lord, if there's any area in my life. And for Jacob, he walked through a limp, but that limp was part of God's healing. It was part of God's mercy and grace. I hear the Lord just saying, I need to do some work in you. And I need you to stop, right, relying on yourself and start relying on the Lord. Let's just worship for a moment. Just turn your attention to God. I thank you, God, for your freedom today.
- [50:12]
Pastor Joseph
Oh, I am a child.
- [50:14]
Pastor Paul
I thank you. I thank you that he has the mind of Christ. Shame off you, Jesus. Fear off of you, Jesus. You are loved, you are accepted, you are redeemed. You are a child of God. You are worth the wait. You are worth the wrestle. God says, I've been wrestling you for a long time, son. I'm no longer a slave to fear God. I belong to You. I'm all yours, God. Freedom verse.
- [50:57]
Pastor Joseph
Grace.
- [51:04]
Pastor Paul
God sees you. He knows you. And he's not mad at you. He loves you. He's with you. He's for you. You rescued me.
- [51:24]
Pastor Joseph
Lord, you rescued me. So I stand and say it's working.
- [51:31]
Pastor Jordan Camillo
It's working.
- [51:32]
Pastor Joseph
A child of God. You split the sea so I could walk right through it. My fears were drowned in perfect throat.
- [51:49]
Pastor Paul
You rescue.
- [51:51]
Pastor Joseph
You rescued me so I could stand and say I am a child.
- [52:00]
Pastor Paul
He loves you. He's with you.
- [52:02]
Pastor Joseph
He's for you. Oh, I'm no longer a slave to fear. Oh, I am a child of God. I'm no longer slave in fear. I am a child of God. I'm no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God. I'm no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.
- [53:13]
Pastor Paul
Lord, I pray today that you would help all of us to see what. What you see in us. God, you see us as a. A candidate for mercy and grace. You see us as a son, a daughter, a child in the family you adopted us. You redeemed us from the curse. You bought us with a high price. Your son on the cross paid the price for our sins. God, I thank you that even in the seasons of our life where we have been wrestling and searching, trying to find all the answers to the things that we are looking for. God, that you have always been there with us. You've always been for us. You've never been against us. Not only are you with us, but God, you have a purpose for our lives. You have redemption. You have mercy waiting for us. You have transformation for our lives. God, you want to change us into who you've called us to be. So right now, let's pray this together. Say Jesus, I surrender all of me, the good, bad and ugly. And I thank you that you are working in me, working on me. Holy Spirit, I surrender. I'm all yours. Make me more like Jesus. Change me from the inside out. Break me with your brokenness to live in obedience to your word. Thank you, Lord, that I am saved. I am forgiven. I am redeemed. And the devil is defeated. Satan, I rebuke you. I am a child of God. My best days are right in front of me. Shame, you gotta go. Fear, you gotta go. Sin, you gotta go. I'm a child of God. I have victory in my life because Jesus lives in me. Come on. If you believe it, say amen and amen.