12 Days Of Miracles

Summary

We Talk Back Podcast – “12 Days Of Miracles”

Hosts: Tammy (“TamBam”) & AJ Holiday
Episode Date: December 25, 2025

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Episode Overview

This Christmas episode serves up real, unfiltered sister-talk as TamBam and AJ Holiday deep-dive into a “12 Days of Miracles” ritual—a Kabbalah-based self-audit for manifesting, growing, and swerving into the new year on full throttle. Both hosts get candid about self-accountability, manifestation, relationships, emotional healing, and shedding self-sabotage, infusing every moment with their signature wit and vulnerability. Whether you need a spiritual reset, creative inspiration, or just some bold Black girl wisdom, this episode is rich with practical advice, rituals, and plenty of “raw and unfiltered comedic repartee.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Catch-Up & Holiday Vibes

(03:40–09:30)

• AJ shares her chaotic pre-Christmas prep, including her vacation struggles to Barbados.
• Eyebrow Chronicles: The ladies bond (hilariously) over eyebrow mishaps and favorite brow products, giving beauty tips and relatable anecdotes.
  • “My eyebrow fell out...I just put some [tretinoin] in my hand...and then it took my eyebrows out.” —Tammy (05:01)
• Wig & Hair Debates: AJ details her unique “braid under wig” plan for her trip, and Tammy questions why she won’t just rock the braids.

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2. Reflection on Charlemagne’s iHeart Deal & Big Money Mindset

(09:40–12:00)

• Discussion of Charlemagne and The Black Effect's $200M iHeartRadio deal—clearing up misconceptions about their own cut and addressing wealth manifestation.
• Playful banter: “I just want y’all to know that I don't got $200 million, right?” —AJ (09:44)
• Quick lottery fantasies and jokes about windfalls vs. true preparation.

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3. Main Segment: 12 Days of Miracles — The Kabbalah “Cosmic Audit”

(12:31–76:46; major content begins again at 17:42)

Ritual Introduction & Philosophy

• AJ introduces the “12 Days of Miracles,” explaining it as a ritualized self-audit drawn from Kabbalistic Jewish mysticism.
• Each of the 12 days represents a zodiac sign/month and is used to set intentions and reflect deeply on life, relationships, and ambitions.
• “Your life is the biggest business you will ever run, period. Mismanaging it, you f*** up, right?” —AJ (11:00)
• Key principle: Manifestation is nothing without accountability.

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Instructions for the Ritual

(28:09–31:35)

• Write 12 intentions (“I am...”, “I feel...”) on 12 pieces of paper—one for each month/day.
• Fold towards you (symbolizing drawing things in); put in a bowl/jar.
• Each night, burn one intention paper (without reading) with a pillar candle—“set it and forget it.”
• Candles, glitter, and “razzle dazzle” encouraged for personalizing the ritual.
  • “Magic is like cooking...you add your own sh*t. It’s all about intention.” —AJ (28:41)

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4. The Zodiac/Month Breakdown: Reflection, Intention & Realness

Day 1 – Aries (Beginnings, Courage, Leadership)

• Questions: How do you start things? From healing or just hype?
• “Are you starting from a healed place or just hype?” —AJ (26:03)
• Intention: Start with clarity, not impulse.

Day 2 – Taurus (Money, Self-worth, Stability)

• Reflection: Do you believe you deserve abundance?
• “Being low maintenance is not a flex—it’s often unhealed scarcity.” —Tammy (32:45)
• Intention: Build wealth without fear.

Day 3 – Gemini (Communication, Thoughts, Contracts)

• Reflection: Am I honest with myself and others?
• “It’s hard, right? Because there’s nobody else to blame but yourself... You allowed it.” —AJ (36:34)
• Intention: Speak with alignment; “be impeccable with your word.”

Day 4 – Cancer (Home, Family, Emotional Safety)

• Reflection: What emotional patterns do you carry from childhood?
• Tammy shares a vulnerable meditation vision with her younger self, prompting emotional healing.
• Intention: Create emotional security from within.

Day 5 – Leo (Confidence, Visibility, Creativity)

• Reflection: Do you need validation?
• Social media and “rented self-worth”—“Posting for validation is renting self-worth by the hour.” —AJ (42:24)
• Intention: Shine without ego.

Day 6 – Virgo (Health, Service, Discipline)

• Reflection: Where am I overly critical (especially of myself)?
• “Do I confuse perfection with worth?” —AJ (52:02)
• Intention: Serve without self-punishment.

Day 7 – Libra (Relationships, Balance, Partnership)

• Reflection: Where do I compromise myself for peace?
• “What boundary do you keep explaining instead of enforcing?” —Tammy (54:36)
• Intention: Choose alignment over attachment.

Day 8 – Scorpio (Transformation, Sex, Power, Secrets)

• Reflection: What am I afraid to face? Where do I hold resentment?
• AJ and Tammy talk about letting go, forgiving self, and making room for rebirth.
  • “Who do you still resent and why are they still renting space?” —Tammy (59:13)
• Intention: Release, control, and trust.

Day 9 – Sagittarius (Faith, Expansion, Truth)

• Reflection: What do I believe about life & God? Do I escape or commit?
• The duo discuss the importance of inner belief and spiritual autonomy.
• Intention: Expand with responsibility.

Day 10 – Capricorn (Career, Authority, Legacy)

• Reflection: Do I define success by status or purpose? Am I afraid of failure or success?
• “You gotta meet God halfway. You gotta do the work.” —AJ (65:02)
• Intention: Lead with integrity.

Day 11 – Aquarius (Community, Innovation, Humanity)

• Reflection: Do I isolate or collaborate? Do I fear being different?
• Warning against superiority; celebrating collaborative wisdom.
• Intention: Share wisdom, not superiority.

Day 12 – Pisces (Spirituality, Endings, Surrender)

• Reflection: What am I still holding on to? Do I trust divine timing?
• “Endings aren’t losses. They’re graduations.” —Tammy (74:21)
• Intention: Release with faith.

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5. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Manifestation does not work without accountability. You have to look within, you have to take note and audit and see where you f***ed up at.” —AJ (76:46)
• “Miracles don't come from pretending. They come from participating in the process.” —Tammy (77:06)
• “If it ain't healthy, if it ain't growing, it's dead—let it go.” —Tammy (73:54)
• “I know exactly who I am, and everybody doesn’t think like me because I think like God.” —AJ (48:29)

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6. Self-Awareness, Humor, and Sisterhood

Throughout the episode, TamBam and AJ dish about tattooed eyebrows, shadow work (including literal candle-lit naked mirror sessions), and the real-life highs and lows of friendships and love. Moments of sexual humor (“DJ AJ on the ones and clits”—76:33), social media insecurities, and Black girl magic ritual give it flavor and authenticity.

They share vulnerability with pride (“I resent myself for having allowed...so it’s like, how the f***, you know, you walking around thinking you the s*** and you got a n**** really mistreating you”—AJ, 61:22), while always circling back to action, hope, and community.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:40–09:30 — Catch-up, beauty tips, wig/hairstyle banter
• 09:40–12:00 — Charlemagne’s $200M deal & wealth mindset
• 17:42–31:35 — Ritual setup, background, and step-by-step instructions
• 31:54–76:46 — Deep-dive into each of the 12 days/zodiac months, including questions, intentions, and personal stories
• 74:21 — “Endings aren’t losses. They’re graduations.” (Pisces/Day 12)
• 76:46–78:33 — Final thoughts, affirmations, and sign-off

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Tone & Language

True to the We Talk Back brand, the tone is:

• Raw, unapologetic, and conversational (“I be standing in the dark, girl with the candles lit, like, l really looking at myself naked.” —AJ, 22:34)
• Infused with humor, honesty, and the spirit of sisterly support
• Grounded in lived, Black, feminine experience with plenty of “a dash of danger and glitter”

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Summary: Why Listen?

This episode is a masterclass in Black-girl-centered reflection and intention setting. You'll get wisdom, ritual, laughs, and permission to audit and upgrade your life—for the price of just tuning in. Whether you want to work on money, love, your career, or your own self-worth, AJ and TamBam provide both a process and a pep talk.

Main Takeaway:
“Participation over pretending.” Audit yourself, hold yourself accountable, get a little delusional about what’s possible, and do the damn magic—this year, and every year.

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Listen Thursdays wherever you get your podcasts. DM your “dumbbell stories” to get featured.

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Selected Affirmation:
“My favorite affirmations: health, happiness, love, success, prosperity, and money. In that order. Rich, okay? In spirit and in this physical world, you got to be rich.” —AJ (77:18–77:30)

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Transcript

[Tammy]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

[AJ Holiday]

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[Commercial Voice]

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[Tammy]

All.

[Commercial Voice]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit chant. Echo drum beat. Everybody showing that school pride game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere. Adding ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going. The wait was worth it. The keys to your dream home have been secured. Now comes time to fill it with memories. But first, furniture and movers. When's the housewarming? Who's cooking? Or should you cater? All that planning can be stressful. But ensuring your home shouldn't be. And that's where State Farm comes in. Because State Farm agents can help you choose the coverage you need. Just call, go online or check out the app. An agent is ready to help so you can focus on showing off your new home. If you know, you know like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[AJ Holiday]

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[Patient Voice]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Patient Voice]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tammy]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who Talk Talk Back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'?

[Patient Voice]

All?

[AJ Holiday]

It's your girl AJ Holiday. I heard that.

[Tammy]

Damn. For real already? Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Damn y'. All. Why this girl like this? Like to lay down and record?

[Tammy]

Y' all work so hard. Okay, I too tired. But guess what? I love y', all, so I'mma show up every week, tired or not. Period. How was your weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

My weekend was trying to get ready to go out of town. That's about it. I cannot wait. I must have emailed a hundred car rental places because Barbados don't have no carbon, no cars. But I found somebody to actually come into an office on Christmas Day. Thank you, God.

[Tammy]

Amen.

[AJ Holiday]

That's all I did. Plan and pack.

[Tammy]

You got your eyebrows microbladed?

[AJ Holiday]

No, girl, you know I'm Picasso with these things.

[Tammy]

Oh, damn, they look good.

[AJ Holiday]

I would dry my eyebrows at least in sixth grade, y'. All. At least yours look good.

[Tammy]

My eyebrow fell out. You see that?

[AJ Holiday]

How you mean?

[Tammy]

I've been using that tretinoin. I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right, but I've been rubbing it down my face and it pulled my eyebrow out.

[AJ Holiday]

What is that?

[Tammy]

That's tretinoin. I don't know if that's how you say it. That skincare for acne.

[AJ Holiday]

You don't get acne. Why you need that?

[Tammy]

I have been getting, like, on my jawline. I've been getting, like, hormonal acne.

[Commercial Voice]

Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

I got scars.

[Tammy]

So then the doctor prescribed me that. And then instead of just putting it on, I just. I just put some in my hand and went like. You know, I was going like that lazy about it, and then it took my eyebrows out.

[AJ Holiday]

Now you're about to be like me. I never had no eyebrows. You know how my. My eyebrows grow? You know how people cut those lines in their eyebrow? Like my literally grow like that. So it'd be like hair up here, and then the rest of the hair.

[Tammy]

Be down here, way down there, just split down the middle. 3. Cussing your eyebrows, trying to wild out like Jay Z. Let me tell you about what I found that I do like is the new Anastasia Beverly Hills. They brow pen. No, it's the pen now. And you can just draw like hair strokes and they look like hair. I like that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I got a l' oreal one like that, but it don't last that long. I need to try that.

[Tammy]

It's. It's new by and it's good. You should try it. It's a good one. But we. What's the sayings? We doing it. Oh, hold on. We skipped something. You.

[AJ Holiday]

What'd you do this weekend? I do nothing but pack and get ready to go on vacation that I. I needed real bad. So what you got going on?

[Tammy]

I ain't do nothing but work, work, work. I slept at 8. Work. That's it. It's been so busy. But it's that time of year, you know, right before holiday, everybody want to look nice. They got holiday, company parties, family gatherings, friends, miss. So I just been working like a dog. Look at my head, baby.

[AJ Holiday]

I've been nothing wrong with that head. And that hair look good.

[Tammy]

Still it. If I take this headband off, the whole weave gonna fall off. It's down bad. But I'm just trying to wait till the new year to do something in my head.

[AJ Holiday]

You know I told you I'm getting braids, right? It's not like what you think, though.

[Tammy]

Because I was gonna say something about that. Right? I was so busy at work when I heard. When I saw you was getting braids, I was like, you ain't had braids? Since we went.

[AJ Holiday]

Here's what I'm doing.

[Tammy]

Braiding a wig.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm getting, like, a braided style to put my wig on top of. So I'm using human hair real small. And I do want, like, the stitch feed in. So when I take my wig off, I got like a braid design small enough to still put the wig on top. And I still want to wear my wig. Like, I still want to take pictures with my fucking wig, but I want to swim, like, so I'll have, like some lemonade braids, basically.

[Tammy]

Why don't you just wear the lemonade braids?

[AJ Holiday]

Because I. My head is huge, okay? I don't want it. Okay, Your head is.

[Tammy]

You have a normal head.

[AJ Holiday]

I got my mama head. It's the whole football.

[Tammy]

When you had those braids when we went to see Cudi or whatever her name was. That was nice.

[AJ Holiday]

That was a long time ago, too. I don't want to single. I don't. I don't really like braids, right? So this is not a thing where I want braids for vacation, you know, I'm saying I just want to be able to swim and not have to worry about my hair for real, right. Doing it in any capacity, I could slap my weight back on and be on going by my business. So that's what I want. So, yeah, I'll send you a picture.

[Tammy]

Girl, you doing the most. Why don't you leave that wig off the whole time? Why don't you say, fuck it? It's going to be hot. You're going to be like, fuck that wig. And it's going to be in a suitcase the whole time. You ain't going to touc much act.

[AJ Holiday]

Like you know me, you know, you.

[Tammy]

Gonna have lemonade braids underneath and you gonna get them long, but they gonna be.

[AJ Holiday]

No, they not even gonna be waist length. And none of that, like, it's gonna be, like, natural looking, you know what I'm saying? But I want them to last, the braids. So you just getting a braid down, basically, yeah. With like, some little zigzag somewhere. I wanted to do like the bald head braid.

[Tammy]

You.

[AJ Holiday]

You seen that? Remember that?

[Tammy]

Oh, the braided bald, yes. So why don't you do that?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I'll decide tomorrow. Yeah, when my homeboy get over here to braid it down for me.

[Tammy]

Well, anyway, let's get into sins. This girl crazy. You can stick too.

[AJ Holiday]

I know, man. Listen, the only thing we have going on this week for sins, because it is Christmas, y'.

[Commercial Voice]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Ho, ho, Ho.

[Tammy]

Merry Christmas. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man. I know everybody saw all the headlines, right? Because I feel like I'm trying to figure out why people think I didn't see it, and they're sending it to me. So Charlemagne, the God, right, just inked a deal with iHeartRadio for $200 million to extend the Black Effect. Black Effect Network and I guess whatever other endeavors he has in his partnership with IHOP, iHeartradio. I just want y' all to know that I don't got $200 million, right?

[Tammy]

Don't call, ask me for no money. Everybody, like, what's your cut? What? I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

What.

[Tammy]

First of all, that's not how that works, but I am going to say Charlemagne, a video, the snippet of Coming to America with Arsenio go to the. The Western Union. He'd be like, $300,000. She's like, $500,000. She's like, why don't you just ask.

[AJ Holiday]

For a cool million?

[Tammy]

You know what I'm talking about? You don't think that'll be too much? Nah. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Look, you got 200 of them. Get a cool M. Y' all better play the lottery. That at a billion dollars right now.

[Commercial Voice]

The Powerball.

[Tammy]

Yeah, I'm gonna go play my number tomorrow.

[AJ Holiday]

I played. I ain't check my numbers yet. And, you know, in my mind.

[Tammy]

When did it come out? Wednesday.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, the next one, I think. Yeah. In my mind, I win every time. Like, I'm always shocked I didn't win.

[Tammy]

Me, too. God, me too.

[AJ Holiday]

I knew I was going to win. Like, why didn't I win?

[Tammy]

It'll be our time when it's our time, right? What's our topic today?

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all, so what I have been doing, I've been doing this. This thing, right? Because y' all know I be into all the things I want to do. 12 days of miracles. Manifestation, accountability and minding your own goddamn business. Because y' all know even if you're not an entrepreneur, your life is the biggest business you will ever run, period. Mismanaging it. You up, Right? You know what I'm saying? So what this is, is for you to take a. Basically, like a personal audit of your life. You know, my whole life. My whole life, I felt like I've been worth $200 million. In my mind, when I sit back and actually do an audit, what did I really do to get that $200 million? Nothing, right? So that stops now. It don't have to be 200 million, but what did I Do you know what have you done thus far to reach your goals? And if you're not doing the things, here's where you start.

[Tammy]

Okay, so we're going to get into it, but after this commercial, we'll be right back.

[AJ Holiday]

Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean and cold water. Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it. Even in cold butter. Yep. Chocolate ice cream.

[Patient Voice]

Sure thing.

[AJ Holiday]

Barbecue sauce. Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be tied.

[Commercial Voice]

What a matchup we got, y'.

[Tammy]

All.

[Commercial Voice]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rockin' and the crowd lit chance echo drum beatin everybody showing that school pride. A game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Thick M. Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going. The wait was worth it. Positive affirmations and all the hard work. The keys to your dream home from the vision board have been secured. I see you. A whole new future awaits your planning. From top notch decor, but on a budget to late night backyard summer cookouts, life feels good. Now comes the time to fill it with memories. What will you host first? Maybe movie night, game night. Stories that make us laugh. And spades tournaments that make us cry. First you need to get movers and new furniture. And what about party favors? Will there be a theme? Of course it's theme. Because you're always doing the most. Oh yeah. The food to cook or order out. Don't forget to put it in the group chat so everybody can already see who gonna be there. All that planning can be stressful. But ensuring your home shouldn't be. And that's where State Farm comes in. Because State Farm agents can help you choose the coverage you need. Just call, go online or check out the app. An agent is ready to help so you can focus on showing off your new home. If you know, you know like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. You know what I always say? Pressure makes diamonds. Whether it's on the court or in life. When things get tough, you've got to step up. That's right, and if you or someone you love is dealing with metastatic prostate cancer, stepping up means knowing your options. There's a treatment called pluvicto lutetium LU177 vapipotide tetraxitan and it's worth talking about. Plavicto isn't chemo. It's a different kind of treatment that targets psma positive cells, including prostate cancer cells. Pluvicto can be used before chemotherapy for some people. Pluvicto is a prescription treatment used to treat adults with prostate specific membrane antigen positive metastatic castration resistant prostate cancer or psma positive MCRPC who have already been treated with hormone therapy and are considered appropriate to delay chemotherapy. Plavicto involves contact with radioactivity which which may increase the risk for cancer and cause fetal harm. You've got to drink plenty of fluids, urinate often, use contraception and talk to your doctor about how to reduce the risk of exposing others to radiation during and after treatment. It can also cause low blood cell counts, kidney problems and infertility. So if you're feeling weak, short of breath, bleeding or bruising easily, or notice changes in urination, tell your doctor. Side effects include decreased blood cell counts, tiredness, dry mouth, nausea, appetite loss, joint or back pain and constipation. Look, this isn't about being tough, it's about being present. It's about being there for the moments that matter, both big and small. So if you're in the fight or know someone who is, ask your doctor about Plavicto. Because when the pressure's on, you don't fold. You find a way. Visit pluvicto.com to learn more. That's P L U V I C T o dot com. You know I love a fresh start. And the end of the year, that's when the kings and queens of entrepreneurship laid the foundation for what's next.

[AJ Holiday]

I've been doing the same thing with.

[Commercial Voice]

My own Shopify store, reviewing what worked this year and mapping out how I'm leveling up in 2026, Shopify is the best place to start and grow your business.

[AJ Holiday]

Which is exactly why I chose it for mine. Whether you're running a side hustle or.

[Sponsor Voice]

Building an empire selling locally or globally.

[AJ Holiday]

Shopify takes the guesswork out of all of it. With Shopify, everything lives in one place.

[Commercial Voice]

I can run my store from my phone, tag and sell across my socials and stay connected.

[Tammy]

Whether my team is down the street or across the country, Shopify has thousands of templates ready to go.

[Commercial Voice]

All you gotta do is pick one.

[Sponsor Voice]

That matches your vibe, and then you're off running. Plus Shopify Sidekick. In their AI tools, those two are total game changers.

[Commercial Voice]

It's like having your own personal assistant, okay?

[Sponsor Voice]

Giving you direction, helping with reports, content, ideas, baby, everything.

[Commercial Voice]

So here's my question for you. What's one big move you want to.

[AJ Holiday]

Make in the new year?

[Commercial Voice]

If you're ready to build something in.

[AJ Holiday]

2026, Shopify's ready to make that next move with you.

[Commercial Voice]

Whether you're just wanting to test an idea out or you're getting serious about launching your own brand, it's never been.

[AJ Holiday]

Easier to get started on shopify.com. ben.

[Commercial Voice]

It's time to see what you can do with Shopify by your side.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all, we're back. And this is not church in any shape, way, or form. And I know y' all super duper Christians. I don't think no super duper Christians listen to what you talk about. I'm sure they do super duper Christians who, like, scared of magic and like that, who, I don't know, go to church and do communion. But then y' all don't believe in rituals and like that. I mean, y' all in there drinking the fake blood and eating the fake flesh of Jesus Christ. But I don't know. It's a ritual. No, that is a ritual all day long, right? And it's the weirdest one I could think of, but yeah. So 12 days of miracles is essentially like, you know, your 12 days of Christmas. And I'm sorry, y'. All. I started on Sunday. Okay. Obviously, we do pre record a couple days in advance, so.

[Tammy]

Well, I'm gonna start with y' all because I don't know nothing about it either, so go ahead. Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Even if you're starting today on Christmas, you want to count out the 12 days. Okay? So this is 12 Days of Miracles from the Kabbalah, which is simply like Jewish mysticism. It's nothing demonic or satanic. You know what I'm saying? So basically, you're doing a cosmic audit where you ask the universe, or the universe actually asks you.

[Tammy]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Are you sure you want the life you ordered? Are you living the life you, in your mind, you think you should be living? Right? And what are the things that you're doing to reach those goals? So each day lines up with the month of the year, meaning this is your chance to preload your blessings or at least stop Blocking them. Okay, so that is what we're doing with the 12 days of miracles. Sorry, y'. All, Both of us sick. Sniff snagus. Jesus Christ. I'm taking all type of drugs. Vitamin C overload, probably my pee. But to be orange in a minute.

[Tammy]

Get you some elderberry.

[AJ Holiday]

I got all of that, girl. I got life everlasting, all that. All right, So, y', all, this is how it works. So each day equals one month of the year. So you're supposed to reflect, not spiral.

[Tammy]

Okay?

[AJ Holiday]

There is no manifestation without accountability. Right? So just like I said, I'm asking myself, what did I do to get to the bag? Like, the major bag? You got to be honest with yourself. Nothing. You know, because a lot of times when we are praying or meditating on a thing, God answers prayers with ideas. And if you're not acting on the ideas that he puts in your mind, it goes back into the universe and somebody else going to do it. So anytime you have an idea, you gotta start. You gotta start creating, basically, is what I'm saying. Right? And executing, that's one of my biggest things for this year. I lack discipline, and I'll be executing.

[Tammy]

Yeah, that's my thing. I have all the greatest ideas, is execution that I struggle with.

[AJ Holiday]

And I mean, I'll even start. I have started so many things in my life and not finished them. So I'm tired of saying that. And I know this about me, right? So when do you change it so that you can get the results that you. You say you want?

[Tammy]

Right, that part.

[AJ Holiday]

So.

[Tammy]

But. But I will say this one thing that I'm proud of is we have come together every week and put out an episode for five years straight. Yeah, five years.

[AJ Holiday]

So even something, this is not simple and it's not easy.

[Tammy]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

But the consistency is how you get to where you're going. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but the time is going to come.

[Tammy]

We're gonna have some good shit happen this year. Coming up, 2026.

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Because I've been working, I feel like, for the last. I don't know, man. The last five years, I've been working on my mind. I've been doing a lot of shadow work. I be standing in the dark, girl with the candles lit, like, l really looking at myself naked. And I challenge y' all to do it, too. You might start crying, right? Because it's just you versus you at the end of the day. Even when you got situations where you feel like somebody else did something or caused something, hold On.

[Tammy]

Hold on.

[AJ Holiday]

Yourself. Hold on what you said.

[Tammy]

You do what? You'll be naked in the dark, in.

[AJ Holiday]

The mirror, butt naked, no wig on, no lashes, lights off. With a candle lit. It's just me, myself and I.

[Tammy]

And so the candle is the only way you can see. Your reflection is through the candle.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And you looking in the mirror, you.

[Tammy]

Just stare at yourself?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Yes.

[Tammy]

Can you record that for me?

[AJ Holiday]

Why? Why would I record that for you?

[Tammy]

Cause I want to see you do it. Do it. You see? Huh? Masturbate.

[AJ Holiday]

You gay? I'm joking. You still.

[Tammy]

I thought you. I thought you was delivered every now and then.

[AJ Holiday]

You still gay? First of all, I'm selling pussy, okay? If I send that to you, I expect money back.

[Tammy]

I'm joking.

[AJ Holiday]

All right.

[Tammy]

Go ahead. So.

[AJ Holiday]

Stupid girl. So day one, each 12 days, right? Each day represents the zodiac also, right? So you know how we celebrate New Year's? Like, right now, the real New Year's is, you know, in April. March, actually. March 20th. It starts with the. The summer solstice.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Equinox. The spring equinox. It starts with the spring equinox. Right? So you got the egg, the rebirth, all these different things. You know, Easter is actually stolen, right, From Estar, which is Egyptian mysticism, which is also borrowed. Kabbalah also borrowed that. Right. But that's the real New year for real.

[Tammy]

Which kind of makes sense because everything is, like, renewed. The plants are growing. That's when the plants are pollinating and they're fucking all over the place. And you are a part of the orgy, and you sick because all the pollen. I don't know. In other. In other states, but in the south, in South Carolina especially, everything is covered in pollen. And it is. It feels like I'm part of a plant orgy. But anyway, go ahead.

[AJ Holiday]

See it in the air. Especially in Colombia. It's crazy. Is this. Looks like a storm. A pollen storm.

[Tammy]

Yeah. All right, so day one, this is.

[AJ Holiday]

How everything is inverted, right? Why would we be celebrating a new year when things are dying, right? Your new. Your new year should be like. Or you could see this as the shedding period, right? And your rebirth comes in March, right? So day one of your 12 days is a month of Aries.

[Tammy]

So the.

[AJ Holiday]

The theme for day one, month of Aries, is the beginnings. Courage, Leadership, Reflection.

[Tammy]

Okay, so wait, we supposed to write that down?

[AJ Holiday]

No, this is. This is. These are ideas, right? This is what the months represent. So, yes, something kind of aligned with what I'm gonna go over.

[Tammy]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Right here. So ask Yourself. How do you start things? Okay. And be honest. Do you start things healed or hyped? I can say I start a lot of things from a feeling hype about it. Right. Versus. Because I think I would actually get things done if my mind was even more clear. Right. From a healed place. Not always thinking about the past and things that. That have transpired, because those things really hold you back. The past really holds you back if you live there long enough. So are you starting from a healed or a healed place or just hype? Okay, where do I rush or self sabotage or do you. Right.

[Tammy]

I think.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I don't self sabotage.

[Tammy]

I just get. I get overwhelmed with the amount of steps and then just stop, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

My problem is I don't like nothing that feels like work, you know? And the thing is, I know that God is going to give me everything I want. But I also know, and I have talked to so many psychics who have told me the same shit.

[Tammy]

You're gonna have to work for them.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, every time.

[Tammy]

But you know what? Remember that psychic we had and he said that I was just gonna marry Rich when.

[AJ Holiday]

We five years in. I think it's because you was looking for a young. He said an NBA player. You. That nigga retired. He's not in the fucking league right now. Okay?

[Tammy]

Where is he? Where is my husband? Golf.

[AJ Holiday]

He golfing? I don't know. At the Ritz Carlton. I don't know where he's at, but stop looking at the young. Drea.

[Tammy]

I'm done with them. I'm not taking them with me to 20, 26. They are a headache.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, so the intention here, your intention here would be to start with clarity, not impulse. That is what you're doing for the. For day one.

[Tammy]

For day one.

[AJ Holiday]

This is what I have been doing, right? Starting on the 21st. So you write down 12 wishes or intentions on 12 small pieces of paper. And I then want you to take those small 12 pieces of paper and fold them in half towards you, okay? Put all 12 of them in a bowl, a jar or something like that. Shake it up, shake it up, shake it up. And every night during the next 12 days, I want you to pick a piece of paper without looking at it and burn it with a pillar. Candle. Pillar candles are like the big thick ones, right? You can dress your candle up too. You can listen. Magic is like cooking. Like Tammy gave her. Gave me her macaroni and cheese recipe. I don't cook the macaroni and cheese like Tammy gave it to me, I add my own shit. You know what I'm saying? So that's what. That's how magic is. It's all about intention.

[Tammy]

Don't tell nobody I gave you that because is gonna be mad because I do not share that recipe out. And they're gonna be like, oh, you gave me the A.J.

[AJ Holiday]

Cooks trade.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't just ask somebody for a recipe and not get them something.

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so.

[Tammy]

But. Okay, so on each piece of paper, what am I writing?

[AJ Holiday]

Your intentions for the next 12 months, essentially.

[Tammy]

So, like, I want to be. Or am I writing it in the present?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, everything needs to be in the present. Okay, so it's the. I am. I feel.

[Tammy]

I feel healthy. I am wealthy. I am happy. I'm healed. I am loved. I'm loving.

[AJ Holiday]

Or if it's just like you want to work out, you can write whole statements, right? Like, I am going to wake up every morning at 6:30am for the next 12 months.

[Tammy]

I mean, so now I'm going to. I wake up every morning at 6:30am yes.

[Commercial Voice]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

But again, it doesn't have to be any. In any particular format because it's yours. Okay, Right, So whatever.

[Tammy]

Just present tense.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Whatever you. Whatever you write down, those are your goals, essentially. Just write your goals down.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

The next 12 months on these 12 pieces of paper, fold it in half towards you. Right? Put it in a bowl, put it in a jar or something like that. And every night you're going to burn one of those. Not looking at them. You just pick one out. Don't look at it.

[Tammy]

Don't open it.

[AJ Holiday]

No, no.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

See, because what magic is, like, you got to set it and forget it. Like, you write the thing down, and then like, when it happens, you'd be like, fuck. Like, I. You know, I'm saying, like, I. This is. I forgot about this thing that I wanted to happen or this thing I wanted. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's what is said and setting. Setting your intentions and forgetting it. And like I said, you could use a. Don't use a lighter. I like, y' all gotta get serious about this stuff. Get y' all some nice candles. Younger's dollar tree, actually. And get those little clear little candles and matches. Use matches to light your candle. You can make your candle look all cute. You could put some confetti on it. What's the. What's the shit? Like, sprinkle stuff? No, I mean, you could put salt on it. You could dress it up, though. You could put some glitter. Glitter yes, you could put some glitter on it. Put some glitter inside there. Yeah, put some glitter in there.

[Tammy]

Little razzle dazzle, little razzle dazzle on it.

[AJ Holiday]

Put some green money, some green food coloring or something like that for money. I'll buy a green candle. And that's what you're using, you know, if that's what you want for the, you know, for next year. Anyway, let me go back to where was I?

[Tammy]

Day two.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so day two is the month of Taurus. The theme for the month of Taurus is money, self worth and, and stability. Ask yourself, do you believe in abundance? And see, this is why I was like, this ain't really for the churchy people, right? Because a lot of them don't believe that they're supposed to have everything. God wants his people to do well and be well and have all the things they heart, your heart desires. He doesn't want you to be, you know, a poper. That's not what he wants for his people. You know, black people are literally made of gold. If you put carbon, which is what melanin is made of, if you bury carbon, we turn into gold. So this is why you got melanin on the fucking stock market. Essentially like they're out here trying to replicate it. And that's why you got so many missing black people in America where they at, right?

[Tammy]

I like this one though because it says, do I believe I deserve abundance? Why do we want luxury but panic when the bill comes? Being low maintenance is not a flex is often unhill scarcity. Am I attached to comfort or security? The intention is to build wealth without fear.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. So you got a lot of people who operate out of place of lack probably because how they were raised not having. And, and you have this scarcity mindset that you'll go back to that place one day. So people are willing to sacrifice their integrity because the, the fear of having to go back to that struggle period that they remember all so well. You can't be afraid, man. You deserve, you deserve it. You deserve everything. And the worst people. This is why all the billionaires are not like the good people because they don't have this on their conscience, right? They don't have these hang ups. They go get it and they don't give a who they got a on to get it. You don't have to do it like that. But this is why those people are that successful. Some of us, some people operate, you know, with integrity. And most of them don't, right? Most of them don't.

[Tammy]

So all Right. Let me ask you this question just so I can be clear in. So the listeners can be clear. The questions for the theme for each day. And the reflection question, should they be writing this down and doing it each day?

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I was thinking about posting this or even maybe making people a PDF if they're interested in it.

[Tammy]

Yeah. And posting it on the page, on We Talk back page. But you can listen along, and if you're listening along, you can write this down as we're saying it. So day one was month of Aries. And the thing was beginnings, courage and leadership. And the reflection question, how do I start things? And you got to be honest with yourself. And then day two was month of Taurus. And the theme was money, self worth, instability. And the reflection question was, do I believe I deserve abundance?

[AJ Holiday]

Because the universe. So they say that the devil hears you when you speak out loud, but God hears your mind. Right. So you got to work on your subconscious mind because those are the things that's not on the front of your brain that's really controlling your life. So you can say all day long, I deserve this, but do you believe it?

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

You really, truly, like, you got to be so delusional.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

You gotta be so delusional. And you will be amazed at the things. Things you can create. I feel like my problem is I'm not delusional enough.

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. I'm too much of a realist. I'm too.

[Tammy]

Too grounded in the reality that I'm in now that I can't shift to the reality that I want.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. Like, I just. It's too. It's like no bullshit with me. Right? Yeah, you gotta. You gotta get a little dumb. You gotta get a little. You got to. That's the only way shit happens. You just really got to be delusional.

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Be delusional about your dreams is nothing is too big. Nothing. All right, so day three. Yeah, day three, month of Gemini. My month. Communication, thoughts, contracts and reflection is, am I honest with myself and others? And see, this is what I was talking about about that shadow work. You know, it's hard. It is very hard. Right. Because there's nobody else to blame but yourself for your current predicament. Nobody else. Even if somebody was there with you while the shit was going bad, you allowed it.

[Tammy]

That part.

[AJ Holiday]

You allowed it.

[Tammy]

And that's the hardest part, is it ain't even being honest with everybody else. It's like really looking in the mirror and telling yourself the truth and not making excuses. And it's because of this. And it's because of that. No, it's just because of you look in the mirror and own your.

[AJ Holiday]

And even once you do that. Right. I know a lot of people like they blame a lot of things on childhood. Childhood trauma. Right. But healing does have a destination. So at what point, at what point are you going to take self accountability at your big age and realize your parents, they were just, they were young as trying. I realized my mom was 38 years old with three kids, cheating ass husband. She pulling up at nightclubs. And this coming home with blonde hair on his body, all type of was happening to my mom at 30. And she was traumatized. She had me at 38. She started having babies at 21. Think about that.

[Tammy]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Right. So she definitely did the best that she could do. I have a lot of empathy for. For my mom. A lot of it because I understand. I just be wanting people to have empathy for me now when I was.

[Tammy]

Young, I wasn't as understanding, but looking through the lens of a grown woman is different.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Yes. You see how they can go right quick.

[Tammy]

So. All right, here's some questions you can ask yourself for day three. Do I gossip or avoid difficult truths. And the intention is to speak with alignment. So do you say what you need?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, the intention is to speak with alignment. So be impeccable with your word.

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Basically that's one of the four agreements. Five agreements. Yeah. Be impeccable with your word. You know, we, we on social media there's a bunch of gossip. That's why I unfollow all like the gossip pages. Of course feed that to you because you in the algorithm. But I don't, I don't subscribe or follow any of those pages. I unfollowed all that during monkey pox. Why the is this on my timeline? I don't see this right. Every time I open my app is monkey. Oh my God.

[Tammy]

And I ain't see not a single monkey within pox and their head is all scared up. That was scarier than covet.

[AJ Holiday]

There's some people who have monkeypox.

[Tammy]

You saw somebody online.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what I'm talking about. It was like people online. I don't want to see that on my timeline. I'm sorry that's happening to you, but I don't want that in my subconscious mind. And that could possibly happen to me.

[Tammy]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

No.

[Tammy]

The. All right. Day four, my month. I want to do this one. This is the month of cancer and the theme is home, family, emotional safety. And the reflection question is what emotional patterns do I carry from childhood? Do I nurture or numb? And the intention is to create emotional security from within. Yeah, that's a really good one for me. Remember I told y' all how I did that meditation and how I saw my older self going to pick up my younger self from waiting by the window on my dad? Or I went to hold my hand. We. I was swimming with myself, and we were floating together, but it was my younger self and my grown self, and we were floating in the ocean together. I was crying. Like, that shit was so powerful.

[AJ Holiday]

That shadow work, man. Next year, I'm going to. I'm going to Costa Rica. Probably, like, March, April. I'm doing ayahuasca. I want another different experience.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, I feel like I'd be tapping in without it, but I want it to be more like, I just want to see, you know, I want to see.

[Tammy]

I've.

[AJ Holiday]

I've been hearing some things from people who have actually, actually done it. Oh, some of y' all are parenting your parents. This is some homework. It says, identify one emotional trigger. You refuse to keep defending. Yeah. All right, so day five is month of Leo. That's my boo. He's a Leo. Confidence, visibility, creativity. And the reflection is, do I need validation? Do I dim myself or overperform? And the intention is shine without ego. That's hard for some people, man, because.

[Tammy]

Oh, this one is very hard for me, too. Would you still do this if nobody clapped? I struggle. And this just be being honest. I'mma share this with y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tammy]

And I'm, like, kind of embarrassed to share this, but it's true. I will post a picture, and if I don't get no likes or nothing, I'll take it down.

[AJ Holiday]

That is why social media is with our mental health, right? Because you realize it's not that nobody likes that picture, is that the app didn't put it in front of people. You see how they fuck with us? That's why you have to disconnect from that. Like, I push it up. For me, at this point, somebody will see it, right?

[Tammy]

And in my head, at first, it's like this shit fire. I love it. And then for some reason, I feel like others validating it too makes it worthy. And if it don't do it, then now it's no longer worthy. And that is mental illness to me. And I know is mental illness, but I keep letting it happen.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you can't do that. You gotta know, like, your is fire. And you got.

[Tammy]

And it is. And I know that, though, that's the crazy part. And I know it's fire, and I know I'm fire, but just something I gotta work on. And that's just me being honest. And I know I'm not the only one. I know somebody listening to me. Like, I do that too.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, this says posting for validation is renting Self worth by the hour.

[Tammy]

Oh.

[Commercial Voice]

What a matchup we got, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Commercial Voice]

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[AJ Holiday]

All right, here's a mirror question. Where are you performing? Instead of being authentic, that's something you can write down or something you could think about, right? To write down an intention about.

[Tammy]

I think we talk back is a place where I can just be my full self and I don't care. Like I want y' all to love it but I also don't care if you don't like child listen but IG just be with my head.

[AJ Holiday]

It's the likes talk about somebody still doing when people don't clap hate me I be seeing y' all comments and and I still do this because guess what? I know exactly who I am and everybody doesn't think like me because I think like God that is really.

[Tammy]

People don't hate you. People just disagree with the things for what you know.

[AJ Holiday]

But they don't disagreed with me and I have been followed up with information and then they don't say nothing back. That annoys the out of me because oftentimes I'm talking about things maybe you just didn't know. You know what I'm saying? Not to say I know more than you, but I do. I be like Gemini, but have you.

[Tammy]

But when you're wrong, do you say do you follow up with okay, I stand about.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't really talk about things that I don't know. And if somebody's talking to me about something I don't know, I listen. I don't, I'm not. I don't easily dismiss what people are saying ever. Because how are you going to learn if you think you know everything? Earth is definitely a school. So if you're not learning like you're.

[Tammy]

Done, you're dying essentially. All right?

[AJ Holiday]

So every day you need to be learning. If somebody says something to me that sounds super crazy, like nothing is far fetched to me, right? I'm gonna go look into it. I'm gonna go research it. I'm always gonna be my primary. You know, I'm doing my primary research myself. So if somebody tells me something I don't believe, I don't just dismiss what people are saying because I don't agree with that. There's, there's some things that have absolute truth. You know, look into it before you be dismissive of what somebody is saying. And then also yes, some things are opinion based. Right. But even with opinions, a lot of times people be saying the same and don't even realize it. They just want to argue.

[Tammy]

Yeah, sometimes people are committed, committed to misunderstanding. And when I find someone that is committed to misunderstanding or someone who's always going to try to one up me, I just, just. I'll let you have it. Go ahead.

[AJ Holiday]

Shine without ego. Like really. I don't really have an ego, especially when it comes to people I love. Like, I'll buy out, you know, I'm not gonna let you disrespect me.

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But I'm not leading with ego, like trying to be stop on you at any point. You know? Like, I feel like people really need. People need to check their ego at the door.

[Tammy]

Agree.

[Commercial Voice]

Months.

[AJ Holiday]

This is my. This is my rising sign month. Day 6 is month of Virgo. And a theme is health service discipline. And the reflection is, where am I overly critical?

[Commercial Voice]

Cool.

[AJ Holiday]

This is why got a problem. Because I'm. I, I do, I criticize, right? Yeah, I, I got something to say about.

[Tammy]

But I think you're overly critical of yourself as well sometimes. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And I, I feel like that's who you should be most critical with. Not.

[Tammy]

Right, But I mean overly critical.

[AJ Holiday]

How.

[Tammy]

You will record a video and.

[AJ Holiday]

Put the wig up.

[Tammy]

Not. Not. I mean, yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't thinking about that. But yeah, but also, like posting a video like that holiday video. Seven business days to make that holiday video.

[AJ Holiday]

I wanted it to be perfect. And it was, you see, it was.

[Tammy]

But I'm sure it was perfect before then. I'm sure it was.

[AJ Holiday]

For who?

[Tammy]

But that's what I'm just saying. Overly.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I don't know. It took me a while to do it. Okay, all right. Okay. So reflection is. Where am I overly critical? Do I re. Do I confuse perfection with worth? And the intention is serve without self punishment.

[Tammy]

Is it excellence or self punishment? All right, so y', all, the challenge. Name one thing you do half ass on purpose.

[AJ Holiday]

If I start something, like, See, this is where I like kind of. Because usually if I commit to something, I'll finish it up. But I, I really only need one reason not to finish it up though. It's like I, I am. I'd be full of shit and I'd be bullshit. And yeah, I do half ass a lot of shit on fucking purpose. I'd be like, that's good enough. You see? So then when I take, I don't know, 7, 8, 10, 20 takes to do a video. I don't know if that's me being over critical. That might be my other Gemini kicking in. Like, that wants it to be perfect. Whereas I could have put it out at one and probably would have taken it down when the other Gemini kick back in again. Like, that's not good enough. I don't know.

[Tammy]

All right. Day seven, month of Libra. All right. The theme is relationships, balance and partnership. And the reflection question, where do I compromise myself for peace? Am I choosing harmony or avoidance? And then tension. Choose alignment over attachment.

[AJ Holiday]

I talk about this a lot about, like, you know, black women haven't not been able to date as young girls. And then now when we do start dating, we got these attachment issues to these niggas. We should have been fired. That's. That's pretty much where this. This comes in at, right?

[Tammy]

This is a good one for me too.

[AJ Holiday]

You gotta know when to let go.

[Tammy]

Yeah, I struggle with that. And I be bending my boundaries when I like somebody. Like, I'll stretch them to the furthest length instead of. And it says, what boundary do you keep explaining instead of enforcing? And baby, oh, I keep telling the over and over again what the boundary is. And he living outside of it, you know, so habitual.

[AJ Holiday]

Line stepper. Like y' all ain't tired of talking. I want y' all to get fed up. If you're in a relationship that you know was supposed to end two years ago, get out of there.

[Tammy]

Get out of there. But baby, when I do get fed up because I'm a cancer, please understand that when I get fed up you could be burning on the side of the road and I would walk I would pass by you and pray for you.

[AJ Holiday]

A little bit Just side pistol.

[Tammy]

A. I will pass by you because when I would love you so hard but when I stop is done man.

[AJ Holiday]

You will search for me you will never find me again I know I give the type of love that a can only dream of. So if you fumble that you oughta like. And I really act like a never existed for sure when I. Because I. I think I got a high tolerance for bullshits I'll deal with for a long time. I'm. I don't do that anymore.

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

That's one of my things. I probably figured out this year, 2025. It's not hard. Relationships shouldn't be hard. So that is the thing. It don't even have to be a romantic relationship with your parents. You know what I'm saying? Like with your friends, you gotta. You got a homegirl you always gotta argue with, like, I. I don't. Women. Why are we always arguing? You know what I'm saying? Especially if it's just a friendship. Like, what the are we arguing about? Why is this happening? Why is this happening?

[Tammy]

You know, I think in friendships you might have arguments, but if you keep arguing with a. That's just your friend, like, y' all ain't got no business together. Y' all ain't got no money together. Y' all don't live in the. What the fuck is y' all arguing about?

[AJ Holiday]

Choose alignment over attachment. You have to do all things that aligns with who you are to your core. If it doesn't, do not move forward with it. And we be knowing, especially women, we have this innate thing called intuition, right? And we be really, like, not paying attention. Be sitting on our shoulder, telling, like, bitch, nagging at your neck. And you ignoring it because the dick. Because of stability, because of obligation. You're just ignoring it.

[Tammy]

You know, you.

[AJ Holiday]

Before you even got here, you knew this wasn't for you.

[Tammy]

So.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So are you are. If you're in a relationship, are you peaceful or just avoiding conflict? Right? So that's me. Because when I. When I'm done fighting, I just be quiet. Got nothing else to say. When I was arguing and yelling and stuff, I probably still wanted it. But when I stopped talking, it's over with. I talk a lot. Why talking to you like that shit is done, right?

[Tammy]

You get paid to talk. You get paid to talk. All right. Day eight, month of Scorpio. The theme is transformation, sex, power and secrets and the reflection. What am I afraid to face? Where do I hold resentment and intention? Release, control and trust. Rebirth. That's a good one. New Year for sure. Because you know what? You find out a lot of the shit that you were afraid to face don't even be shit. When you face it. Like, it's. It's so crazy. Be like, damn, I was holding off from doing that. That wasn't nothing, right? Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Just let that go. And earlier this year, when I was getting the colonics and all that, which. And I need to plan my. My little six rounds sometime in January or February, we had an episode. Let that go. We were talking about colonics. But literally, like, those sessions with this woman were so therapeutic because it was in February, and by May I was out of my last relationship. And it started with those colonics. It started with that and then a weekend of, you know, portobello mushrooms. I was up for a while and, like, just in my Thoughts and having all these introspective thoughts and looking at myself, because that's where it starts. And I had to get the. About it. This no longer aligns with me.

[Tammy]

So I want y' all to ask yourself, who do you still resent and why are they still renting space?

[AJ Holiday]

I still resent my ex fiance. My mama still be talking to that. That's why we know you.

[Tammy]

You mention him a lot on the show.

[AJ Holiday]

Because that is still trauma I be trying to get over, like. And talking. Talking it out. That's all you're gonna do when you go to therapy. Right? So talking it out so I can. Are we supposed to just forget and act like shit didn't happen to us? Is that how it's supposed to work?

[Tammy]

No, it don't work like that.

[AJ Holiday]

Bad things happened.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And so I don't ever want to forget it. Right. Because I don't ever want to allow somebody else to ever play with me like that again in life. Right. So it's not like I don't take these things into next relationships, but I don't. I'm not a forgiving person. So that. That might be it.

[Tammy]

I. I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

I guess forgiven. They always say forgiveness is for you, but I'm karma. I do the coming around.

[Tammy]

But maybe, Maybe, maybe you shouldn't do the coming around. Maybe you should just let it go and go on, go forth and don't come back around.

[AJ Holiday]

I do be going forward, though. Like, this is a. A podcast where we be talking about relationships. And, like, how do I talk about things without giving my experience about it?

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? Like, how. How do. How do we do that?

[Tammy]

You don't you talk about it until you're done talking about it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, we done. That's why we doing this type of. For at least for the first two months of January of 2026. But this here is a shadow work moment. Oh, you already said that. Yeah. Who do you still. Yeah. Resent. Yeah. And, you know, I'll be honest. A lot of that resentment is towards myself. I. When you are in these situations, you. And then you start being honest and take accountability. Like, I resent myself for having allowed. You see what I'm saying? So it's like, how the fuck, you know, you walking around thinking you the shit and you got a nigga really mistreating you.

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

And I'm never like an abused person. I'm never, like a victim. It's a uphill battle fucking with me. Okay. You gonna end up Broken before me.

[Tammy]

For real.

[AJ Holiday]

But I just remember, like, really screaming to God, help. Help me, God.

[Tammy]

For real. Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

In a real way. Is that your. Are you swallowing over there?

[Tammy]

Yeah, I swallowed. I don't feel good. I don't feel good.

[AJ Holiday]

That throat was deep. That was a. Did y' all hear that?

[Tammy]

Girl? You y. Pay attention. Y' all stay focused. Day N Day nine Faith.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, faith. Expansion. Truth.

[Tammy]

And this is the month of Sagittarius.

[AJ Holiday]

Yep, Sagittarius. Reflection. What do I believe about life and God? Okay. Do I escape or commit? And your intention here could be expand with responsibility. Again, this is.

[Tammy]

Do.

[AJ Holiday]

Do you believe in abundance or you just talk about it? Okay. And what belief would you change? Excuse me? What belief would change your life if you lit it?

[Tammy]

That's a good one and that's a deep one.

[AJ Holiday]

I think some people are. You know, you got some people who, like, go to church. They real super Christian, right? And I. I don't know. I said this before we started recording. Y' all know Jesus Christ is not a Christian, right? He was a Jew, if he was anything. Right? So you have people subscribing to a religion that. That ain't tell you to do like I tell you to be worshiping me. I told you that you could be Christ. Like I told you that you also are the child of God. It's not just me. You think Jesus is only the child of God and the rest of us are bastards. No, period. I carry the crystals energy the same. And when you realize that God is in you and not outside of you, you move different. You take accountability for how you treat people right. You take accountability for the things that you do. You don't blame other people.

[Tammy]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

That is what being a Christian, if anything, is. And I feel like Christianity lacks accountability, right, because you always got big daddy in the sky that you could put all your. Your bad on, like, oh, God paid.

[Tammy]

He picked.

[AJ Holiday]

Jesus died for us. So I can just still sit on something.

[Tammy]

I think that's just people like not being accountable again. I don't think Christianity is not unaccountable. I just think it's the people, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So I think sometimes people, once they get out the thing, right, they then go looking for something else to believe in. So once you leave the church, what's next? You go find people. You got all these gurus on social media, all these different people. Then you start subscribing to. You're still up because you're not searching within. You're still looking for something outside of You. And that's what this practice is about. It's about you.

[Tammy]

Inner work Bible about you.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay? Basic instructions before leaving Earth. That's it. It's about you. Okay?

[Tammy]

Day 10, month of Capricorn. The theme is career, authority, legacy, and the reflection Question. Do I define success by status or purpose? Am I afraid of failure or success? And then the intention lead with integrity.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man. I've always been afraid that I wouldn't reach my full potential, and that is still one of my only fears today, not reaching my full intention. So that's why. Full potential. So that is why I do all these different things just to. Just to get. Get. Like, if. If you say you want to do this, commit, and do the things. I've been writing a fucking book since 2011, okay? I got two movie scripts, half written. Like, why I finish it, right? I got a homeboy who has a production company. What am I doing? You got all the tools. God gave me everything I need at my fingertips, literally. This podcast at your fingertips. Whatever you want is yours here. But you gotta meet God halfway. You gotta do the work.

[Tammy]

You gotta do the work. For sure. I agree.

[AJ Holiday]

Gotta do the work. So I said, I define success by purpose. Living in your purpose is always gonna make you money. It's gonna make you money. Like, I have never not wanted to be able to be myself for a living. This is all I've ever wanted to do in life. I never dreamed of a life of labor where I got to work for somebody else. That is never my shit.

[Tammy]

Yeah, me neither. I don't. I've never have. I've always worked for myself.

[AJ Holiday]

And I'm not afraid of. Afraid of failure. And if you're afraid of failure, I mean, that's. That's where the lessons come in. It's not the. The end point, because life is the marathon, right? It's all the hiccups and the things along the way is the journey.

[Tammy]

Because every. Every l. Every failure is just a step closer to where you're going, period. All right, legacy question. What do you want your name to mean? Don't answer. Don't answer it, though. Answer it for yourself. As you do this on your days, don't answer it here, but I think I want everybody to think long and hard and write it. Write it down or internalize it, or however you're going through these questions, I want you to think about what you really want your name to mean.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, one day I was thinking, like, how you actually become royalty is from creating because you get paid royalties like from movies and music and stuff like that. That's literally how you live forever. You gotta create. That's how you live forever on this realm. How are you going? Michael Jackson, right?

[Tammy]

He'll live forever.

[AJ Holiday]

You have to create. That's how you become royalty.

[Tammy]

I don't know if I really care about that. I just want to love the people who love me, bring joy everywhere I go, and be happy. I don't have to be remembered for generations. I don't need that. I just want the people around me to feel good when I'm in a space and bring joy. That's it. Don't have to be. To the further up we went, we.

[AJ Holiday]

Went over Gemini, right? So Gemini is communicate. I got a lot of to say, and I have a lot of even things I read and even. Even things I don't read. I just be in my mind, I'd be knowing. And maybe that's where would get some people nerves. I don't know. And I. I got like, Kanye be saying, I'm not right now for people, right? But I know my purpose is to gather information and. And. And tell people.

[Tammy]

People.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what I'm doing, right? So maybe it doesn't make sense to you today, but maybe you'll remember something I said. I'm like, damn, AJ said that three years ago. So that's my purpose. I just. I'm just here to give spread information, Give information. Sometimes people don't want to sit down and watch all this. I watch everything. I see everything. Literally. Like, I know a little bit about everything that's going on in the world, because I just want to know. I just. It's like, I gotta know. I'm nosy. Oh, this just ain't my business. That's the next business.

[Tammy]

That's the next one.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the last one. All right, So y', all, month 11 is Aquarius, boo. If you're the Aquarius, you.

[Tammy]

No, we love you.

[AJ Holiday]

Not the girls. I like the girls. Boys.

[Tammy]

Boy.

[AJ Holiday]

Fuck you, boy. Okay, so do I. I. Oh, excuse me. Community, innovation, humanity. That is the month of Aquarius, day 11. Do I isolate or collaborate? Do I fear being different? The motherfuckers is different, boy. Intention, share wisdom, not superiority. That's a big one. And that's where that ego kicks in at, right? You think you can't learn from somebody else. That's the problem with a lot of people. You see that shit in the conscious community.

[Tammy]

Do you feel like. I think that's what people be feeling like you about. You Even though that's not who you are. But I think to it comes off like you can't learn from anybody else or you know better than everybody else. And I think that's what they be mad about. But you, that's not really who you are. It just maybe comes off like that in the audio sometimes.

[AJ Holiday]

But if I'm talking about something that you haven't heard of, how do you know I'm lying or not you yet you haven't even explored this thing.

[Tammy]

But how do you know the listener hasn't heard of it?

[AJ Holiday]

Like, I gave examples, right, of where I have said things here. And then somebody like messaged me, trying to check me about it, and I give them.

[Tammy]

Oh, then you hear them back.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like engage. I like to exchange information. Like that is one of my things over like that. I like, I need that in a relationship with anybody. I like to exchange information. I like to learn shit. So let it be an exchange. I don't want to talk at people either, but it's just me and you right here, right now. Right? I'm talking, you talking. We sharing information in real life. That's how I would prefer my relationship. So if it comes off one sided on a podcast, that's because it's just me and Tammy. So if this is why you're hating me, you might need to look in the mirror. Okay, do this. 11 steps we went over. Yeah. Share wisdom, not superiority. Do you want to be different or understood? At some point you got to knock here.

[Tammy]

I was about to say, I don't need to be either one of those.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, at some point you got to knock here. Healing isn't isolation, it's integration. Yes. And the challenge is do. Who do you need to collaborate with instead of compete against? Right. So a lot people think they can do things by themselves a lot of times. Right. So you'll have black people talking like, oh, Charlemagne, $200 million. Like, why he doing that?

[Tammy]

Why?

[AJ Holiday]

You just can't do your own sometimes. Sometimes you have to in order to grow. You have to partner. And if you don't understand business, just say that.

[Tammy]

Right? I agree.

[AJ Holiday]

You can't do everything.

[Tammy]

What he's doing is amazing. And anybody got anything negative to say, it's just whack. Okay, and so day 12.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I was about to say, then you have people that say, like, he got a bunch of podcasts or people nobody know what we got over a million downloads annually. Somebody know us.

[Tammy]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so. So everybody. I don't think that he should be just putting On a bunch of celebrities either.

[Tammy]

Right. I agree.

[AJ Holiday]

I feel like celebrities should just, like, actors just keep acting, singers keep singing. And then podcasters can do this and keep potting.

[Tammy]

Day 12, and this is the final day, you guys, is month of Pisces. And the theme is spirituality, endings and surrender and the reflection. What am I still holding on to do? I trust divine timing and detention Intention release with faith.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tammy]

I love this one.

[AJ Holiday]

What are you still holding on to? Because you're afraid of the void.

[Tammy]

These. A lot of y' all listening. Think about this. Y' all look to the right in the bed. Sleep right next to you while you listening to this. I don't listen. I don't want to encourage anybody to leave anything healthy, honestly. But if it ain't healthy, if it ain't growing is dead. Let it go. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And if you think you deserve better, you probably need to be better.

[Tammy]

Right? Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you might be in that situation because that's who you were at a point, like, I always be saying, like, you are who you beat. You are who you. You are what you eat. You are who you beat. So it's something about this person that aligns with some aspect of you. You got to kill that aspect in order to move forward for it. And that part what you think you deserve.

[Tammy]

And the quiet power. Endings aren't losses. They're graduations. So you're just moving forward. Let that go.

[AJ Holiday]

One thing. Yeah. Name one thing. You're surrendering this year.

[Tammy]

I'm going to. Am I. Am I. Am I answering it for the crowd, or am I just gonna.

[AJ Holiday]

You can. I'm thinking.

[Tammy]

You know what I want to think about that one thing. I'm surrendering this year. I don't know. I'm gonna think hard about it, and then I'm gonna write it down as I do these steps on the 12 days. Because I want to have a good answer for that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I think mine would just be, like, just release all the things in faith. Just knowing everything is going to work out exactly how you want it, because why wouldn't it? And really, truly, deep down believing that all things are going to work out for your greater good. Just surrendering to letting the universe guide me. You know, I'm saying I. I'm going to ask less questions, you know, and go with the roll with the punches.

[Tammy]

Yeah. I want. You know, I already feel like God is moving me in the direction that I'm supposed to be going, and everything is already in alignment. Honestly, I just gotta think about what I need to Surrender. I gotta think about it.

[AJ Holiday]

Might be that rose. Get rid of that rose. You see it? I know it's in the bed with.

[Tammy]

You on the pillow.

[AJ Holiday]

Get rid of that room.

[Tammy]

My precious. My precious. Like the Lord of the Rings.

[AJ Holiday]

Honey, listen. When my ex left and I thought he had, like, killed all my vibrators, because why? One plugs up and the other uses batteries, and both of them were simultaneously, like, dead. And remember we had just did that episode with old girl, and she was like, DJ. I've been DJing ever since, and that is different.

[Tammy]

Oh, really? I can dj, too. I can go back and forth if it ain't. If I can't feel it, reach for it in the bed and it's not close by, I'll DJ straight up.

[AJ Holiday]

Sometimes my arms get tired of DJing. I be scratching so hard, running back. DJ Jazzy AJ. DJ AJ on the ones and clits, girl.

[Tammy]

What's your last.

[AJ Holiday]

Last foolishness? Manifestation does not work without accountability. Right? You have to look within. You have to take note and audit and see where you up at.

[Tammy]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Fix it and do better going forward, all right?

[Tammy]

Miracles don't come from pretending. They come from participating in the process. You got to get in there. You got to get in the field, y'. All. 2026. We're running strict programs this year, period.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay? My favorite affirmations is health, happiness, love, success, prosperity, and money, period.

[Tammy]

In that order.

[AJ Holiday]

Rich, okay? In spirit and in this physical world, you got to be rich. We need money.

[Tammy]

Amen.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's it. That was great. I like that.

[Tammy]

Yeah, that was good.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all like this type of stuff. Wrap it up. Yeah. We hope y' all enjoyed this episode, and if you did, y' all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is Buddha, AJ.

[Tammy]

What? What?

[AJ Holiday]

My is AJ holiday 2.0 on Instagram.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Kick it tam, y'. All.

[Tammy]

It's official. 10BAM on Instagram. I love y' all so much. I don't know if I told you at the beginning, but I tell you at the end. Yeah, I love y', all, and I appreciate y' all for tuning in. Every week y' all follow We Talk Back podcast page. Send us your dumbish stories. We still want those. We haven't done a dumbbell story in a while, and I think we got a few of them sitting in the dm, so we'll probably come back with one in the new year, right? So I love y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All. Remember, speak now and never hold your accountability.

[Tammy]

Yeah deuces, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

We talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Commercial Voice]

Sam Whoa, what a vibe we've got y'.

[Tammy]

All.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Tammy]

I'm Carolyn.

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I have metastatic breast cancer.

[AJ Holiday]

I was concerned after my diagnosis because Scala gives me more life for living. Since I've been prescribed, I've seen a daughter get married. I now have a grandchild and another one on the way.

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[Tammy]

Guaranteed human.