A Thin Line Between Love And Hate

Summary

Podcast Summary: "A Thin Line Between Love And Hate"

We Talk Back – Episode Released on April 3, 2025

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Introduction

In the latest episode of We Talk Back, titled "A Thin Line Between Love And Hate," hosts Tam Bam and AJ Holiday delve into the intricate dynamics of relationships, exploring how love can swiftly transform into hate. This episode offers a candid discussion on toxic relationships, emotional manipulation, and the fine balance between affection and animosity.

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Main Discussion: Exploring the Thin Line

Tam Bam and AJ Holiday begin by reminiscing about their previous episode on "Waited to Exhale" before introducing the current topic centered around the movie "A Thin Line Between Love and Hate." They dissect the narrative, focusing on the protagonists' tumultuous relationship and the factors that led to its deterioration.

Notable Quote:

• AJ Holiday [23:01]: "We know Darnell's okay. Darnell is alive and well."

The hosts question whether Brandy Webb, one of the central characters, is inherently unstable or if her behavior is a reaction to Darnell’s manipulative actions. They argue that dismissing a partner can escalate emotions, causing love to morph into hate.

Notable Quote:

• Tam Bam [28:51]: "She was showing million dollar homes. She had a driver. She had a million dollar home of her own."

---

Character Analysis: Brandy Webb and Darnell

Brandy Webb Brandy is portrayed as a sophisticated and wealthy woman with deep emotional scars. Tam Bam highlights Brandy's lavish lifestyle as a facade masking her vulnerability and hurt.

Notable Quote:

• Tam Bam [28:51]: "She was in her bag. She was showing million dollar homes. She had a driver."

Darnell Darnell is depicted as a charming but emotionally immature man who plays with women's hearts without considering the consequences. AJ Holiday emphasizes his lack of accountability and how it fuels the relationship's toxicity.

Notable Quote:

• AJ Holiday [29:14]: "He's emotionally immature. And he probably also, like, underestimates the power of emotions."

Bobby Brown’s Role Bobby Brown serves as the voice of reason and comedic relief, attempting to caution Darnell about Brandy's dangerous nature. However, his advice is initially ignored, contributing to the unfolding drama.

---

Personal Stories and Insights

The hosts share personal anecdotes to illustrate the episode's themes:

Tam Bam's Experience Tam Bam recounts a past encounter with an overly aggressive suitor, leading her to firmly block him and establish clear boundaries.

Notable Quote:

• Tam Bam [37:56]: "I never though. I did not."

AJ Holiday's Reflections AJ Holiday discusses her encounters with emotionally immature partners, stressing the importance of maintaining integrity and self-respect to avoid toxic relationships.

Notable Quote:

• AJ Holiday [29:22]: "It's the same on different ends of the spectrum. Be careful."

---

Lessons and Takeaways

Tam Bam and AJ Holiday emphasize several key lessons:

1. Setting Emotional Boundaries: Clearly define what is acceptable in relationships to protect your well-being.

   Notable Quote:

   • Tam Bam [58:17]: "It's just in your best bet to just be kind to people, because you don't know what a person's mental state is."

2. Maintaining Self-Respect and Integrity: Uphold your values and self-worth, even in challenging relationships.

   Notable Quote:

   • Tam Bam [70:07]: "Just operate with integrity and then you don't have to worry about nobody being Brandy."

3. Recognizing Manipulative Behavior: Learn to identify signs of emotional manipulation and toxic behavior early on.

4. Understanding Mental Health Responsibility: Acknowledge that managing one's mental health is an individual responsibility, and external factors can influence but not justify toxic behavior.

---

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Tam Bam and AJ Holiday reaffirming the importance of understanding the delicate balance between love and hate. They encourage listeners to be vigilant in their relationships, maintain their integrity, and recognize the signs of emotional toxicity to foster healthier romantic engagements.

Notable Quote:

• AJ Holiday [66:24]: "There is truly a thin line between love and hate because I believe that they're the same emotion."

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Advertisements and Promotions

Throughout the episode, various advertisements promote products and services such as the Nissan Murano, AT&T’s new guarantee, PayPal’s features, and Chumba Casino. These segments are interspersed between the content discussions but are omitted from this summary to focus solely on the episode's main content.

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Closing Remarks

Tam Bam and AJ Holiday conclude by reminding listeners to tune in every Thursday for more insightful and unfiltered conversations on We Talk Back, available on the Black Effect iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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This summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, personal insights, and actionable lessons, enriched with notable quotes and proper attribution, structured into clear sections for easy comprehension.

Transcript

[Charlamagne Tha God]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Ryan]

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[Tam Bam]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Ryan]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge? Can we create a pool on PayPal?

[AJ Holiday]

It lets us collect the money before we buy.

[Ryan]

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[Tam Bam]

A pool piece of the planet.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I go by the name of Charlamagne Tha God. And guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival.

[Tam Bam]

That's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We're coming Back to Atlanta, GA Saturday, April 26th at Pullman Yards and It's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions. Mandy B.

[AJ Holiday]

And Weezy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay, we got the R and B Money podcast with Tank and Jay Valentine. We got the Woman Evolved podcast with Sarah J. Grob. We got Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with Her Neck in Sports podcast. And the Trap Nerds podcast with more to be announced. And of course, it's bigger than podcast. We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses. Plus the Food Truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. All right, listen, you don't want to miss this, tap in and grab your Tickets [e-mail] podcast festival.

[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back, where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee cocktail and crown. Cause it's about to go down.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk Back.

[AJ Holiday]

Hey, y'all, it's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up, Tam Bam, y'all?

[Tam Bam]

It's official 10. Oh, no. Am I official Tam Bam? I'm just Tam Bam. I love y'all.

[AJ Holiday]

Hey, aj, you change your Instagram name?

[Tam Bam]

No, that's it. But I didn't really say my Instagram name.

[AJ Holiday]

Crazy. I'm good, girl. How you feeling?

[Tam Bam]

You know what? I always enjoy spring, cuz, you know the season is changing. But when I tell you this pollen is whooping my ass, like, real bad this year, like, worse than ever before, I can't handle it. I understand that the trees got to have sex, but good news, I didn't ask to be a part of the orgy. I did not ask to be a part of it.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, like, Zyrtec can't take enough of my money. I'm getting, like, the big packs from Costco. Okay. My mom even text me asking me if I needed some more Zyrtec because it's real nasty. Like, my car was green.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I didn't move my car that much last week, and it just looked like an abandoned car after a while.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it's just gross. It really is gross outside. But I still went out in it. I went.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, we know that.

[Tam Bam]

I went to. In New York, I went to Saint. It's a resto lounge. I don't know what that means. To me, That's. It's a club, but the owner told me it's not a club. It's a resto lounge.

[AJ Holiday]

So I guess that's like a club restaurant slash lounge.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Because they do sell really good food. And then he bought me a drink at the end of the night and I was like, I want what you drinking. That was a mistake. Baby. When I tell you I was drunk as I had to go home after that drink. I had to leave and mind my business. But that was it. Oh, and I also. We went to Pergola. So we went to two Hygge bars. It was cool. But then I was supposed to go out on Sunday. I can't do two days in a row. It's one or the other. Pick one because that's it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. From 6 to 10. Those are my operational hours. 6 to 10. If you don't got me out the house by 6 o'clock and I need one week no notice in advance and if you don't got me out by six, it's a wrap. Okay. I had a good weekend too. And you know I really, I had a tough week last week. Right. So Saturday morning was actually my like test to see if I can do all the things okay. So I really had to push myself to get up 4:30 in the morning, put makeup on all this shit. Get dressed for a great cause though. So one of my friends, friends. So my homegirl volunteered me for this thing and I just committed to it and I committed to it a month ago so I had to follow through. But I almost, I almost told them bitches I ain't gonna be able to make it. But I'm glad I pushed through. But. So she's the. One of. My friend's friend is have. Is doing a reality TV show.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

And it's about the women in the world of merchant Siemens. Right. So yeah, so it's a great, great, great, great, great idea. So we actually did like a panel interview for a couple of people who actually showed up to. And I feel like she gonna have a good cast too.

[Tam Bam]

You were helping interview people to participate to be.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, on the react like the cast members. Right.

[Tam Bam]

So that why you had to get up at 4:30 in the morning because.

[AJ Holiday]

It was from 8 to 12 and yeah, we were recording everything. It was really nice set up and real professional. So it's called beyond the Anchor. So it's going to be following the lives of women who are in this very hard industry. A lot of people in Charleston are merchant seamen. So they work alongside the navy on these ships, you know, around the world all year long they're away from, away from their families, children. So it's some good ass storylines going off.

[Tam Bam]

You know what, there's a lot of merchant seamen in Virginia, too. I know a lot of people who do that in Virginia.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

So we.

[AJ Holiday]

The casting was basically from here to Virginia, essentially because a lot of the boats are docked in Charleston. A lot of them docked in Virginia. The port cities, Miami, Louisiana.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that's gonna be very interesting. That sounds like a good concept. They came up with something good.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. So we'll see. Chad. So that was my weekend, and then I just was for real in the bed from maybe 4:00 Saturday to 12:00 Sunday.

[Tam Bam]

Girl, listen, let me tell you how I messed up. I was. I. I stood out drinking all night Saturday. And oh, let me tell y'all. The was outside. They was on the kid. I swear, they was like in the New York. They was lined up. I was like, okay, wait, one second, he's first.

[AJ Holiday]

Next. We better get one of them little things. We got. Get a number.

[Tam Bam]

Every. Take a number. Stand in line. When your number is called, please push forward because that's what it was.

[AJ Holiday]

You got clear? Do you have clear right? Pre check. Send them to me for tsa for AJ Pre check period.

[Tam Bam]

So after that Sunday, I had to get up and do some hair, girl. Like, I don't know why I signed up for that, but I had to get up and do a sew in. It hurt so bad. Not built to be outside and go. I remember when I was younger, I could. I could literally party till time to go to work and be good, baby. It hurt so bad. I was like, I can't wait. God bless me, y'all. Subs like subscribe our buy some T shirts from us. So I got to do this no more. I don't want to do hair no more. So anyway. And then Sunday, I stayed in bed all day. All day. I did not. I took a shower and lay back down, and that was it. I could not go back outside.

[AJ Holiday]

And those. That's my favorite thing to do.

[Tam Bam]

That's what you need to make the shirts. I love to lay down.

[AJ Holiday]

Lay down.

[Tam Bam]

I love it because I would buy it. Let's get in this.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

All right child, what we got going on in these streets With a Kid. So y'all know that the infamous, super famous. I guess it was a YouTube dating show at this point. Now they're heading to Netflix. Okay? So beginning April 10, 2025, viewers will tune in every Thursday at 8pm for a roller coaster of romance, chaos, and enough tension to make your stomach drop. So thank to the. Thanks to the Bachelor.

[Tam Bam]

Think the Bachelor.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, yeah. Think of the Bachelor. Okay, but with balloons. So y'all know the Pop the Balloon dating show? They're heading to Netflix. I'm excited for that. I'm happy.

[Tam Bam]

Congratulations. Round of applause. Round of applause.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, they had over like 100 million, like, YouTube views, you know what I'm saying? Since they've been on YouTube. That's wonderful.

[Tam Bam]

People really enjoy that shit. I could never go on no Pop the balloon. I couldn't pop a balloon. Nor could I be the. I couldn't be the poppy or the popper because I don't want to pop and hurt nobody feeling. And if you pop a balloon on me, I'm gonna cry. So I'm a cry or fight. I don't know which one is. Or both. So I don't need to be on.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that is. Damn that, that show is treacherous.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't think my, my esteem is set up to go on that. Okay. Because you are not going to be for everybody. So imagine going into a room where you're not for anybo.

[Tam Bam]

There, anybody, and you walk out and everybody like, pop, pop, pop, pop.

[AJ Holiday]

For real. I'm crying, like, right there on the spot. So I, I, I commend those people, you know, who get up there with all that. Yeah, yeah. So the series creators, Bolia, Ma, I, I believe they're husband and wife. Right?

[Tam Bam]

It does. And no, I don't think so because the last names aren't the same.

[AJ Holiday]

And Arlette, Amuli, Amali, that's who we see doing the. She's a host right now. So now she's going to be the executive producer of the show. And basically she won't be like, you.

[Tam Bam]

Know, doing the hosting orgy. Yeah, we love her from Insecure.

[AJ Holiday]

She's the virgin.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I wonder if she's still a virgin.

[AJ Holiday]

Why would she not be? Might as well. We ain't heard about her getting married. I did see she was dating, so.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Come this far to turn back now. I doubt it. Now, I am not a TV watcher for real. Right. But I have kept up with Atlanta Housewives every so often. Like, I'll skip around years and seasons. I don't know Why I decided to watch this season, it's probably because Portia is back on the show, and I want to see what the fuck is going on with her and Simon and all the things. Like, I just knew it was going to be a good time. So I have been tuning in now. I did not catch this most recent episode, but apparently some shit is going on now. I did catch, like, some of the shade with some of the new cast members, and then you have, like, some of the. The older cast mates still around. Okay, so what's Kenya? Kenya Moore is still around. Portia is back on the show. What's the other. Cynthia's there.

[Tam Bam]

Fedora.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So there's a newcomer. Her name is Brittany. Edie. Edie. She was added to this current season and this last episode. I saw the preview preview for it. I hadn't watched it yet, but you could see the tension between her and Kenya. So apparently, Kenya tweeted out about how she was threatened by Britney, like, behind the scenes on set. It says, this year, Brittany Edie was added to the cast of season 16, which is currently being filmed. However, Edie's time on the show might not last very long as there was allegedly a severe situation on set with Kenya Moore, according to the Neighborhood Talk. So they got into an argument, and Britney basically says, says, I have a gun for bitches like you. Whether she had a gun at the time or just saying, you know, for future reference, bitch, I got a gun for you. Kenya Moore did not take that shit lightly at all. And she shouldn't. You can't just threaten me with a gun. You can't leave out this building before me either.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Because basically you just told me you'll kill me.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's what.

[Tam Bam]

That's.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the only thing I would hear.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

So as it stands, it's unclear what went down between these two. However, what we do know is that people on set were shook. Photographer Eric Robinson was at the scene, and on social media, he revealed just how shaken up he was by everything. And quotes. It says, I am still trying to recover myself. I couldn't even take a photo. My mouth fell to the floor. And I am just in awe. Like, what was the most deadliest scene? Probably. Wait, wait, wait. What?

[Tam Bam]

You can't read? It says, it was the most. That was the most deadliest scene probably in the franchise history for him. That's what he's saying. But, I mean, didn't nobody die? So he might have been, like, reaching with that statement, but.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. Did anybody.

[Tam Bam]

It's Supposed to be like classy, you know, women with money. She told me, I got a gun for like this. Take that to love and hip hop Atlanta. You're on the wrong show. This is real high squads of Atlanta.

[AJ Holiday]

We don't do that here. And I can't recall what this girl's husband name is on the show, but one, he doesn't seem to like her. It's a couple of people who like the men that they have with them on the show. Like, does he even like you for real? Like, I'm questioning it. Just how they are responding to their wives on camera. You know what I'm saying? It's like Drew Sedora and her husband all over again with some of these new castmates. So I don't know her husband. It seems like. I don't know if he was in an accident or something. His face is like half frozen kinda. He looks dangerous as far as I'm concerned.

[Tam Bam]

Bitch.

[AJ Holiday]

I think they might be from New York. I don't know, but about right. That shit sound about right. She looked like she might be. Yes. But her husband looked like he done did some shit.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. And he looked like. You got these cameras in my life, and I'm just here because you won't do this shit. He really look like he be on some bullshit. But anyway, so, yeah, so shout out to Real Housewives of Atlanta child. Kenya Moore. You better. And you know, she'd be strapped up too now because Kenya has talked about, you know, how she makes sure.

[Tam Bam]

You know, use it on the cast mates.

[AJ Holiday]

It's crazy, right? Yeah. You tripping.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So we'll see how that unfolds.

[Tam Bam]

But let's talk about. All right, so last week we did Waited to Exhale and we analyzed all the characters. And I really enjoyed that. That was a lot of fun. So this week we're gonna do A Thin Line between love and hate. And just talk about how they tried to get us to hate Brandi when the movie came out, but really it was Darius Darnell. Darnell Mess.

[AJ Holiday]

We know Darnell's okay. Darnell is alive and well.

[Tam Bam]

When we get back from this break, we're gonna.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The first two months of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your weird cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose Premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus with the 64 color personalized lighting option, you can set the mood any way you want, be it romantic, chill or in straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.

[AJ Holiday]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather appointed seats are optional features.

[Ryan]

PayPal lets you pay all your pals like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper?

[Tam Bam]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Ryan]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[AJ Holiday]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy.

[Ryan]

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[AJ Holiday]

It all right y'all. So again, okay, so this this week we want to break down a thin line between love and hate. And you know we try to like associate it with dating today, right? Because it is the same. We we know the Darnell's in life. We know the Brandy's in life. Brandy was like the crazy bitch on the show, right? But really, was she crazy? You know, a lot of people like to drive you to crazy and then call you crazy, and that'd be the fucked up thing. Like, you get me to a hundred. Now you're trying to tell me the severity of the situation? No, bitch, you're gaslighting me, okay? Because I know I'm not crazy. And you know how I know I'm not crazy? Because I'll call my friends first, tell them what I did, tell them what that other person did. And, bitch, am I crazy or am I tripping before I wild out on your ass? See, maybe Brandi was skipping some steps because she ain't have no friends.

[Tam Bam]

That's the problem. She didn't consult with her village.

[AJ Holiday]

She really was consulted with her fucking subconscious mind. And them intrusive thoughts was telling her to kill niggas. Because I'm. I believe she had killed an ex.

[Tam Bam]

But the ex was physically violent, or so she said. We don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

Remember, she beat herself up now, right? And got Darnell arrested. So she probably did that in the last situation, too, because that'll be her.

[Tam Bam]

Own ass to get you in trouble.

[AJ Holiday]

You don't need to whoop your own ass. Don't whoop me. Whoop your own ass.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's next level.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, so let's do a deep dive, right? So when's the last time you watched A Thin Line Between Love and.

[Tam Bam]

I watched it last night.

[AJ Holiday]

Did you really?

[Tam Bam]

I did.

[AJ Holiday]

I didn't re. Watch it. Okay, so y'all know Tammy already. Always know all the movies anyway, so. That is fresh on her frontal lobe.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Anyway, it was. I didn't even have to watch it over because I know this movie. This movie is so triggering. I was cussing Martin Lawrence ass out the whole movie. Like, the entire movie. Even before he started cutting up. I was like. Just because I knew what was coming. It's like, you right?

[AJ Holiday]

And so the movie is still relevant today because we're talking about, like, toxic relationships, karma, emotional manipulation, and, like, the blurred lines between love and obsession. Because I have seen people online say, if my man don't do this, he'll let me, like, and it be like some stalker shit. And I'm like, if you've never been stalked before, you really don't know how that feels. And you don't want that. You don't want somebody to really be obsessed with you. See, y'all Bitches, when y'all want to do magic and shit, that be the main thing y'all want to do is get somebody to fall in love with you. And when you ready to get rid of that nigga, you're not going to be able to. Now you got to call the police. Now you got to get the course involved to get a restraining order against this nigga because you done put his ass in a jar of honey. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Be careful.

[Tam Bam]

So have you ever been in a situation where love turned into something dangerous?

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely. Hell yeah. I feel like I talk about it a lot on here and maybe not in depth, like situation to situation, but I have been in some real sticky shit in relationships and I feel like I'm usually. Yeah, I feel like I'm usually the one that's a little bit more sane. Right. But when men feeling feelings get involved, they get diff. They turn different, you know, because I think they have a different idea also of what love is. Because men, when they love you now, they. They feel like they like kind of own you, like you are their property. I saw this post on social media last week and it was a guy asking a lady, like, what's the big problem with a man saying that you're his property? You know, don't you want. Exactly. Right. It's the verbiage. He was like, how is he supposed to care for you, die for you, provide for you if he doesn't own you? And I'm like, am I a car? Because I know a lot of with dirty ass cars and they'll still kill you about that dirty ass car, right? I'm not a car.

[Tam Bam]

I'm not. Human beings own me.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So a lot of people, a lot of men, like, when they fall in love and their feelings get involved is different. And I've experienced some fucking crazy shit.

[Tam Bam]

I. I never, I've never been in love with someone crazy. I think I luckily have, like witnessed, like, oh, I see their flag. I see the red flags. And when you show me a little bit of crazy, I will get up out of there. I remember I had this one guy and he was just too aggressive with how he handled me now, even just playfully, it was just too much. I was like, oh, no, I got to get up out of here. I remember he said, picked me up and put me on the top of the car and then grabbed my legs and was like pulling me off the car playing, oh, how is that fun? Yeah. Who is this fun for? Because it's not fun for me. Let me go and Put me down now. All the stalkers that I've ever had, I've never had relationships with them. They be mad because I don't want to. Like, I've had female stalkers and I've had men.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, I remember that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, we're not gonna talk about that. We don't want to bring that up.

[AJ Holiday]

But you're being scary ass.

[Tam Bam]

Hell yeah. That was scary. That is scary. When you have somebody really like obsessed with you and threatening you and saying all kind of crazy for no reason, like, and they got. Clearly got mental illness. This is definitely terrifying. But this wasn't the case with Brandi and Darnell because she pretty much let him know, don't fucking play with me because I. She say I ain't rap tight. But she was giving signs. You know, the signs were there, and he thought it was the game. So let's. Let's break down the characters.

[AJ Holiday]

So I did Google now, and this is what Google says. Google says that Darnell was in his 20s, like early to mid-20s, and Brandi was in her late 30s. And mind you remember, Brandi was previously married to somebody. And she was like, you could tell, like she had her whole shit together. Like money. Okay. She was that girl. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. She was a real estate of some executive of some sort. Like, she had her. She was in her bag. She was showing million dollar homes. She had a driver. She had. She had. It looked like a million dollar home of her own.

[AJ Holiday]

Mm. So she had her life together. And Darnell was outside playing like he still was a playboy. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

A womanizer. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So Darnell, he's a charming ladies man who plays games with women's hearts, but meets his match in Brandy, essentially. He's a womanizer. We could say that. Right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

He's emotionally immature. And he probably also, like, underestimates the power of emotions.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. That. That the title was so perfect. A thin line between love and hate. And it really is. You can see that happening right now in real life. Every day, women and men, relationships dissolve. And they went from I love you so much to I kissed. I hate that look at Cardi B. And offset.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. I had a situation just recently too. I saw a. I used to with and he was literally outside rubbing a feet under the table, like in my face just recently. And I was like, then I blocked this on social media recently. Right. But I could have sworn I been had him blocked, like on the phone. Don't you know? I. I know he probably doesn't know my life right now because we don't talk. Yeah, but he asked me, like, to meet him out, so I'm like, nigga, I just seen you two weeks ago rubbing a bitch feet under the table. Like, are you stupid?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

And he just, like, laughed. He was like, girl, hush. He text me, girl, hush. And I say, you lucky that I'm player, because I almost embarrassed both of us. I probably, like, I really wanted to spit on that nigga. Not because, like, I have any type of real feelings for him. And no shit like that anymore. It's just that, who the fuck you think you playing with? And the problem is, men be counting on our integrity, right? They be counting on us to keep it fucking cool. But everybody ain't gonna be like me, right? You want to run into a Brandy.

[Tam Bam]

You gonna run into a Brandy, and they gonna ruin your whole. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So is Darnell truly, like, the villain or just the immature guy who met the wrong woman at the wrong time or at the right fucking time? Get his ass together.

[Tam Bam]

I wouldn't consider him a villain. You know, he's. I would say he was real selfish because he was playing a game, you know, he wanted. He bet with T. He had a bet with T. That he couldn't get her, you know? And he was like, oh, watch. Watch this. I can get any woman I want because I'm that charming. I'm that school. I got the finesse. And watch how I finesse her. So I don't think he realized how serious it could get, you know, when you playing with people, emotions. Because that woman definitely was like, look, I've been hurt. I. I pretty much. I stay clear of y'all motherfuckers because I don't want to be hurt again. And then here you come. And how he did it, like. Like, she finally let this nigga in. He laid in her bed and said, I love you. And she made. They made love, or she made love to him and he just got some pussy. And. Yeah. Then right after, he calls his homeboy to let him know that he got the draws. Basically, like, I won and tell me I'm the man. And then now she's all, I'm fully in. I'm letting down my guard. I'm going to show you that I care about you. And then she took him shopping on her birthday and bought him designer shit and nice clothes and was like, take my car. Handle your business. Meet me tonight. It's my birthday. And then she had a cake. Can you imagine sitting in your house with a cake, waiting on the nigga you just bought all These clothes for on your birthday and he never show up. That is so hurtful.

[AJ Holiday]

He dropped her off to crazy. Like, literally, like, put her in the car and drove her there and then called her crazy. And how about the part where he, like. Like, she's trying to cuddle with him after sex and he like, moves his hand, her hand off of him. Now this is where, you know, I have. I'm. I'm guilty of telling men, like, if you don't really with a woman and you want to, like, don't be getting. But don't be getting butt naked having sex with a. Like, just pull your dick out the hole so she know what it is. What, like that skin to skin is a problem too. And I. If you're not gonna verbally say, hey, I just want to. And you may not have said that, but everything else you're doing just says you want to. Like Martin Lawrence, he really just. He wasn't. He never said, I just want to. He was doing all the things to make sure that he was interested in her. Like, seriously, right? But then you do, right?

[Tam Bam]

He came to her job, he made an appointment with her. Wasting her time where she could be selling the house to somebody who really wants to buy a house. And then, I mean, he went the extra mile. He had his homeboy that stutter drive him in a fine car up there, so it looked like he got a little more than he got. And then he put a Lalique baby bird in the house prior to them getting there so she could see it because he knew that she was into crystals. Like, you are doing the most to just want some place, right? Listen, I've had a guy do me like that. All right, y'all. I met this guy. He had been in my DMs for a while, but I ignored him. And then he was like, I'm coming to Charlotte. I want to see you. No. He's like, I'm. He sent me a message like, oh, I'm in Charlotte. I was like, enjoy the Queen City. I was not interested, right? I wasn't paying him, even though he was good looking, but he just looked like. You know how sometimes he.

[AJ Holiday]

On some.

[Tam Bam]

Like, he looked like he about to be a.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

And I just felt that in my spirit. And that's why I wasn't giving him no chance. So he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, I'm going to a white party with my friends so you can enjoy the Queen City. So then I see this at this white party in red he's like, I found every white party in the city, and I had to pay extra to get in here with red. But I knew I had to come see you.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, Lord. Girl, he a whole demon, right?

[Tam Bam]

So then. Then he started showing me and my friends. Like, he bought us bottles, drinks. He was doing the most, like, showing. Making my friends laugh and, you know, doing the most. So then my homegirls was like, girl, he follow you around like a puppy. Give him a chance. Give him a chance. So I'm like, okay. So then I let this man take me on a night. Like, we went to dinner the next night. We went to dinner. We went to a nice dinner. I mean, he was whining and dining me. Like, he asked me what did I like to drink. And when we got to the table, was sitting there already waiting on me. Like, just real smooth. He was smooth. Or whatever. We started. We'd be on the phone. Now I'm starting to like, okay, entertain him. He's a businessman. He got his shit together. You know, he said he want a wife, all these things. And he's attractive. And we started spending a bunch of time together. I wouldn't sleep with him still. I was just, like, being very cautious with my body, you know? And we went out this. This particular night. We had spent the night together, but I. You know, I wasn't ready for sex. And I let him know. And the only reason we spent the night is because we were both drunk. Anyway, so we went out again. We went to Fahrenheit in Charlotte, and we were on the rooftop. We were drinking. It was so beautiful. We left. We went to my apartment, and we. My building had a rooftop in it. Fire pits. We're out there at the fire pit, just chilling. I had wine. So we were drinking wine. And y'all know I'm a cancer. So I got emotional, and I was like, I just want to thank you for being such a good person. Like, I meet a lot of people who try to take advantage of my good heart. And I really appreciate. And I think I might have had shed a little thug tear, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Because I'm a fiercer crybaby, not a thug tear.

[Tam Bam]

The energy shifted immediately, Y'all. The energy changed, right? So I. And I felt it, and it was weird. And then he left shortly after. And then he goes, I did hear from him. He didn't answer my call the next day. He didn't respond to text. So then a few. Maybe like, three months goes by, and he reaches out to me, and now I'm like, what the fuck do you want? Basically, do you know this motherfucker told me that he was married, that his wife was a traveling nurse and that's why she was never around. And that's how he was able to spend so much time with me and be on the phone with me, because she was out in California working for three months as a nurse, you know, and he was out here and him and a. From a Facebook group that I was in made a bet on who they could. Who could. Me first. Her girl.

[AJ Holiday]

What the. Was in on the bet?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it was her or him.

[AJ Holiday]

Which one of them did you know the girl?

[Tam Bam]

I. Yeah, she was pursuing me too.

[AJ Holiday]

Did you fuck the girl?

[Tam Bam]

I never though. I did not. I did not fuck the girl.

[AJ Holiday]

Y'all know we gotta ask Tammy shit four to five times.

[Tam Bam]

No, I never. Me and her never even hung out. You know, me and her never hung out. But we were all wild. Ain't that wild? And he was like, I. Like, once I was spending time with you, I just assumed you were different than what you were. And I didn't. I couldn't do you like that. And I guess he thought I was going to be like, well, thank you for not taking it.

[AJ Holiday]

Me?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I said, bitch, I spit in your face. That's how I responded. Because you wasted my time and played with me. Still. Even if you grew a conscience in that moment, you still.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm a grown ass man doing this. Like, why? What if I still go ahead and send this shit to your wife? Because this is the type of stupid shit you out here doing, right?

[Tam Bam]

And that's what I should have done. But I just told him, don't ever contact me again or I'll spit in your face, bitch. Or something along those lines. A real life Darnell. Cause that's a real life Darnell.

[AJ Holiday]

A grown ass Darnell. Like, what are you doing? What are you and this bitch doing? And why y'all look at me and thought y'all could play with me like that? Yeah, like, what in the world anytime somebody play with. Because people going to try everybody, right? But I always. This is where I be up, right? Because I be trying to figure out, okay, where did I. What did I do? Like, how did I invite this energy? What am I doing that somebody think that they can play with me like this? Like, so I. Even though I know it has nothing to do with me, I still find myself questioning, like, what could I have done differently for a different result?

[Tam Bam]

There was nothing you could have done. How was I to know that this was playing in the background, you know, like.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. Nuts. So, y'all, this is our character breakdown for Brandy Webb. Okay? So. And look, we know real Brandi Webb in real life, too, but she ain't no killer, I don't think. But that's just her first and last name. But. So she's wealthy, elegant, elegant woman with deep emotional scars from past relationships. Her character traits, she's, like, super sophisticated, confident, but deeply wounded and vengeful with hurt and hate. Okay, so she was hesitant at first, but eventually falls with Darnell's charm. She does show super early signs of possessiveness, you know, when she stabbed that cake. Okay. And. And, like, she did, like, a quick transformation from lover to stalker. Now I got a homegirl. Like, she just real. She not crazy like Brandy, but she's real vindictive, like, because she go, well, she ain't my homegirl anymore. This is whole another reasons why we're not friends no more. But I have seen her do some really up to people that I would. Could never, like, fathom in my mind to do. Right. But she. She is the type of person that will go above and beyond, and those type of people are necessary. Right. She helps people financially just with her time and like that. And the minute you her over, like, she's really studying, like, how to your whole life up, though. I know for sure she got two in prison right now. Like, she help the police put their ass in jail because they owed her money. They ended up going to jail with somebody. Like, one, he was on parole, and he flashing guns on social media. So she sent that to his P.O.

[Tam Bam]

Money.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because he owed her money, like you out here. And then she actually talked to a girl that he was fucking with. And the girl basically told her, like, yeah, we used that money that you gave him to get our apartment. So she just saw red after that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I could see why, though. Like, oh, you think it's a game? Yeah. Now. Now you got to live in the cell. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So just like my friend, my ex friend, right. Was Brandi always dangerous or done? Darnell pushed her over to over the edge, basically.

[Tam Bam]

Basically, no. She was all that was always dangerous. But she. I feel like she was loving to him, and she wanted him to love her. And I don't think he would have seen that side of her if he didn't bring it out, you know, I don't think.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

That would have came up because she was ready to give him everything. Take my car. Here's some clothes. Here's some money. Here's whatever. I'm gonna teach you how to ride a horse. I'm gonna teach you all these things because I like you and I feel like you like me.

[AJ Holiday]

But. So she's really not dangerous. Like, this thing has to be induced, right? This thing that comes out.

[Tam Bam]

She's still full, though, because after he dumped her, essentially, she was in his house trying to make breakfast the next remember, like, so.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because I'm. We're not done until I say.

[Tam Bam]

But they already said it. He came to her house and she was like, it's fine. While it lasted, you know, acting unbothered. Right? Like, basically.

[AJ Holiday]

But, you know, at that point, she knew at that point she had to kill him, though.

[Tam Bam]

No, but then. No, but then she acted unbothered. And then the next day, he woke up smelling some burning in the kitchen. And she was at his house trying to like, bake some biscuits or some like, baby, I'm here trying to cook. And he was like, get the. And pushed her up against the wall. And then she's like, you put your hands on the wrong one. And that's when that switched up because she was trying to get her back. She was in there trying to bake biscuits and like, don't go, I. I love you. And that's when the signals got crossed.

[AJ Holiday]

I know. Look, I'm with Brandi, okay? Don't tit. If you don't want me tatting, just don't. And you don't know who's going to be crazy. So your best bet is just to be the best person you could be in every single situation. But oftentimes men aren't. They be misleading people intentionally. And the thing is, is if you don't have the wherewithal right, just. It just be shit you gotta pay attention to that may not be right in front of your face. Right. I can understand why she was misled.

[Tam Bam]

Me too. But she did. She do have some issues. Because remember, she was sitting in that house and he ain't show up and she stabbed that cake. She don't know. He could have been hurt. He could have been all. All these different. She didn't know yet, you know? Yeah, you already went immediately to enraged. Stabbing a cake like that is next level nuts. Because what if something happened to him? There was no social media. We didn't even have cell phones back then. So it might have been cell phones, but many people didn't have them. So you ain't know what was going on with that nigga before you went.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Ryan]

Lets you pay all your pals like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper?

[Tam Bam]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Ryan]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[AJ Holiday]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy.

[Ryan]

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[AJ Holiday]

What's that? Summer Walker song session 32.

[Tam Bam]

Oh I love that song that you don't.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, it's like real short. I need her to make it into a five, ten minute song. Right? But that you don't know what love is if you don't stay up all night. If you don't call 100 times to me that's not love. If I call somebody phone a hundred times I have lost my mind. Yeah, if somebody calls my phone 100 times, you're fucking nuts. Because I like you just said I could be dead. I could be in anything could be happening, right? So you call on my phone that many times has nothing to do with actually being concerned about me. It has more to do with you just wanting me to acquiesce to how you want me to be right now. You want me to answer that phone and probably to say nothing. You Keep calling just so I can answer the phone. If I call you one time and text you one time, I'm not calling back until you respond. That's it. A hundred times you see me call the first time. So now you're trying to force a response out of somebody, and that's where that shit get fucking nuts.

[Tam Bam]

If I. If I. If you, my nigga, I might call 3, but that's it.

[AJ Holiday]

I might call 3 and then block you, because who the fuck you playing with now? I'm gonna turn the abuse. That's my abusive way.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I'll give you. I'll call three, but after three, I ain't calling back. And when you call back, who died?

[AJ Holiday]

You better have a. Oh, did you just get out? What hospital room were you in? Who, like, Nah. Three times. And enough. If you missed a whole 24 hours without talking to me, first of all, we done broke up. Up. You just don't know it yet. It'd be like, really? Boyfriend, girlfriend. 24 hours past. I'll give somebody a day. I won't. You know what I'm saying? But, like, still, that's kind of pushing it. But I'll give you 24 hours, and then tomorrow, I better have. It better be a real good reason. I'm not with you no more, But I'm not calling a hundred times. That is very stalkerish. So for anybody who thinks that's okay to do to a boyfriend, it's not. It's not okay to call somebody's phone that many times at that point. Yeah. And you're trying to force a response. Like, I'm too playing for that. I'll never want a. To be able to show the next hide and call a phone 100 times. Like, they strolling through this. Like, look, how many times this. Don't call me. Absolutely not.

[Tam Bam]

So let's talk about Regina King's character. All right? She's Darnell's childhood friend, the woman who genuinely loves him, him for him. She knows him in real life. Not all the finesse, the player, the club. She knew him before all of that. Her character traces loyal, grounded, the complete opposite of Brandy. She ain't got no whole lot of money, even though they had her with that master sergeant rank in the Air Force. And I was like, who they playing with? Because anybody who really know the air Force, no, there's no way Mia could have that much rain that age.

[AJ Holiday]

Right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. No. Who the is she?

[AJ Holiday]

Gija? She was, like, in her 20s as well, right? Came straight from high school and just.

[Tam Bam]

Had all that ring on her shoulder. I was like, oh, they played on our top with that.

[AJ Holiday]

Hold on, let's go back to him. Her being the childhood friend and genuinely loves him for who he is. Right. Do men really like people to really know exactly who they are?

[Tam Bam]

I think so.

[AJ Holiday]

I think that's when you start having problems with men, when you know them in and out, you know, And a lot of times that's why relationships spoil. And then they go on to somebody who don't know the old them, like, especially when they get their money, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's why the first baby mama, that's who you want to consult with if you're fucking with a baby daddy, right? You want to always consult with that first. If he just has one baby mom, that would be great, right? But if he has a couple of them, 3, 2. Consult with the first one because she knows exactly who he is. And that's why oftentimes they hear they hate that first baby mama because she saw their struggle.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

So do men really like you to know who they are through and through? I don't think so.

[Tam Bam]

I think because they.

[AJ Holiday]

They put on for their friends, but you know exactly who they are, accept.

[Tam Bam]

Who they are through and through, you know, once they can be that comfortable and just strip away all the armor and all the facade and all that stuff.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I don't think so. I really. I still don't think so. Because do we all. Do we ever know anybody through and through, for real?

[Tam Bam]

Do we know ourselves all the way through and through? I think it's always a growth. You're always growing, you're always changing. So that's why I'd be like the first baby mama knew one version of you, the youngest version, you the one who just probably becoming an adult half the time. Because I believe men, they grow and change too, you know? So who they was with that first baby mama might not be who they are with you. You don't think so?

[AJ Holiday]

It's possible. And then I honestly don't think people change that much. You know what I'm saying? Like, we might tweak a little bit, depending on who we are with now, Right? We do do that. We compromise in relationships. We kind of tweak who we are to suit this. This current. But I. Deep down inside, do people really three do 360s? No.

[Tam Bam]

No. Maybe not a 360, but like, just grow, you know, some growth.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I just feel like I don't know if you capable of something at any point in your life is still in you somewhere. Like, if you capable of some, like, real foul. I just don't see you, like, because it's just certain I'm not going to do because it's just not in my DNA to do so. I'll always be looking at the person like, damn, that's you. It's surprising. And I can't ever forget that because I feel like you're still capable of that.

[Tam Bam]

Do you think about. I think about, like, girls that you knew was, like, super hoes in their twenties and now they pastor at a church or, like, do the Sunday announcements.

[AJ Holiday]

They're still capable of sucking dick on Saturday. Absolutely.

[Tam Bam]

That is not no more. They just grown from that version.

[AJ Holiday]

How we know they probably got better at hiding it.

[Tam Bam]

See, no, you don't give people.

[AJ Holiday]

We ain't talking about no church people, man. That. That right there.

[Tam Bam]

You don't give people enough credit. Changing.

[AJ Holiday]

I know. School teacher. That's why. Extra credit. Okay, then we got Bobby Brown, which is just like the comic relief. He's supposedly the voice of reason, right? He's Darnell's best friend and fellow club promoter. He's fun loving, he's blunt, provides comedic relief, but often speaks the truth. He warns Darnell about Brandi being dangerous. Darnell did not take heed. Okay. He gets caught in a crossfire of Darnell's poor decision because didn't he get shot? Didn't she accidentally shoot him? No. Darnell got shot?

[Tam Bam]

No, didn't nobody get shot. They just. Yeah, they were tussling the gun in the air, and then they fell out the window.

[AJ Holiday]

So how. How important do you think his character is in the show?

[Tam Bam]

I think.

[AJ Holiday]

Or is he. Is he at fault for some of this? Like, the homeboy, he was complicit in.

[Tam Bam]

The behavior a lot of the time. It wasn't like, because, I mean, he was the reason why he was going so hard to bed because he told him he couldn't get that right, you know? So, I mean, his character was important, but he definitely told him to calm down with the foolishness before you get hurt. But it was the old. I feel like it was the old. The club owner who was really, like, telling him it's a thin line between, no, Della Reese told him that, but he told him, stop playing with these, because when emotions get involved, somebody could get hurt. And then ultimately he. He was hurt the most out of everybody because his club got burned down. He had burn damage, water damage, electrical damage. That came through. And pretty much like, I will End everything you love.

[AJ Holiday]

Mm, yeah. Cause, I mean, take it. You putting somebody in jail is essentially like metaphorically taking their life away.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

For real.

[Tam Bam]

When she saw Brandi, she said, I can't believe this is the little nappy head that you played me for.

[AJ Holiday]

So is Brandi the stereotypical crazy ex, or is her behavior rooted in something much deeper? You know, because men love to say, oh, this one was crazy. That one was crazy, but they neglect to tell you the. That they did to make, you know, to make them crazy. And can somebody make you crazy? Right. Is your mental health your responsibility?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that's a good question. Your mental health is ultimately your responsibility. I was just watching something that said, like, nobody can make you angry. You know, you decide to display anger based on someone else's action, and that's a choice. Right. So, I mean, I get that, but in theory. In theory. Right. Because in real life, and I'm not on that level of actual self actualization, I guess, because people do have the power to hurt my feelings, to make me angry, to make me want revenge and things like that, you know? Now, Brandi, although she had the right to be upset and want revenge, she took it to a level that was. It was greater than what Darnell? The. The consequences were greater than the action.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but that's what I was talking about with that severity thing. Right. Who can tell me how to respond? Right? So, yes, my mental health and, you know, all that is. It is definitely up to me. Right. But that could be, like, somebody, like, just disrespect can be, like, a deadly sin for somebody. And apparently it was for Brandi. So who determines, like, what's serious and what's not serious and.

[Tam Bam]

Right. That's why I always say it's just in your best bet to just be kind to people, because you don't know what a person's mental state and your one thing that might seem small to you might be the one thing that pushed them over the top, and now they in there boiling your bunny. You know what that movie that is? No. Not a Thin Line. Fatal Attraction.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, right.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. That's another one that went nuts. Please don't play with her.

[AJ Holiday]

She took that on her own.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, she was already nuts. He didn't. Yeah, that was warranted, but, yeah, she didn't.

[AJ Holiday]

Nobody, like, induced that. Like, she just was like that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, she just was fatally attracted to that.

[AJ Holiday]

And that's what I'm saying. Like, Brandy was minding her business because she knows she crazy.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm Saying, because I know I'm crazy. Let me just. And a lot of women might feel like that. That might be why a lot of women now are choosing to be by themselves too, because they just. They don't feel like being. Feeling crazy no more. They don't feel like, you know, the ups and downs, the emotions. Like, it's just too scary to start over for somebody else with somebody else and possibly go through the same that you've been through in previous relationships is just tough. One of the girls this past weekend, she was like, girl, the only reason why I still date still with men is because I ain't gay. Like, that's the only reason why. Because, I mean, we got. We need to get some other sexes out here. But this is the only reason why I'm still with. Because I don't.

[Tam Bam]

Like, I love me. When I was outside, when I was outside Saturday at Saint and they was lining up, I was like, lord, how do I pick one? Like, I don't want one of the.

[AJ Holiday]

Things from the dmv, man. A little. Little ticket snatches.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. I need one of those so I can pass them out, baby. Because the nick is outside. But then on Valentine's Day, when I didn't pick one and now I'm by myself on Valentine's Day, I'd be sad. I gotta figure it out.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you gotta. You gotta pick one and just see what happened. Just, I don't know, maybe you gotta write their names on a thing and put it in a jar and shake it around and pick a name out.

[Tam Bam]

One out at this point, because.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And see what happens. But, you know, things I always tell people, you know, relationship stuff like hurt, that kind of changes your DNA. Because I am not the same person I was, I would say, six years ago. Like, I'm not the same. I don't have the same, like, emotions in relationships. I just don't. And it might come off a little bit. A little cold. Right? Because I'm. I. I realize that even in a relationship, and I'm not telling anybody to be selfish, but you got to make sure you're not losing yourself as a woman. Right? Because we'd be doing all the things for a man in a relationship, you got to make sure you still be putting yourself first. And I feel like most of the time we'd be putting ourselves on the back burner.

[Tam Bam]

You don't want to end up bitter or jaded, you know, and that's the hard part, because so many times of being played with will ultimately make you start Making you turn bitter or make you start feeling jaded and displaying negative, you know, characteristics and characters traits toward relationships and then you end up like Brandy.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I seen this post online. I can't, I probably won't be able to find it, but it was on Instagram and it was a guy saying like once you break. And it's for women in particular, no matter of fact, it may not just, just have been for women. It said basically once you break someone's trust, it takes like X amount of time to build that trust back. So like imagine you breaking your, your woman's trust four times out the years. Like she just finding out some you cheating, money missing, whatever it is, right? It might take 10 years for her to get over that shit. Who can tell me how long it's gonna take for me to be okay with you, right? I can tell you how much it's gonna take, but I can't tell you how long, right? Cause it you get me about $5 million, bitch, I done forgot everything. Like ain't nothing ever happened. We started from scratching it. You a brand new nigga so I could tell you how much it's gonna cost you, but I can't tell you how long it's gonna take.

[Tam Bam]

Right? But after, like think about the relationships where money has never been an issue. You know, they've always had a bunch of money and now you're doing. You can't buy your way out of something that's already spent. You know, you already got money, so now what?

[AJ Holiday]

Right?

[Tam Bam]

You know, but we, we don't know about that. So if you got 5 million, send it over.

[AJ Holiday]

Money always gonna people up. It don't matter how much you got. This is why men still fight women in divorces and vice versa. Like nobody wants nobody playing with their money. So money is actually where you hit them at. That's how you get people together.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but I'm saying if you're in a marriage where a woman has access to millions of dollars already, then it's kind of like giving her, you know, more money. Is that going to.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, that's what you're saying?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, I guess at that point then you. Well, listen, you threat divorce, right? And I'm gonna take half that. That because so leaving now. So when you got millions of dollars already, the threat of leaving, right. Could get your ass killed.

[Tam Bam]

Right, that part.

[AJ Holiday]

So money is still the root money is still going to be like the thing that'll make somebody stop acting up or forget.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Their part for me, for me, I don't know about everybody else, but for me, you know, my forgiveness can be bought. I'm sorry. So toxic masculinity and accountability. So Darnell's lack of emotional maturity, the lesson in taking responsibility for how you treat people. Do you think he learned his lesson so now he could be in a better relationship? Or I guess, if him and Mia decide to be together. His childhood friend, he was laying in.

[Tam Bam]

That hospital bed, sipping from that straw. I think he definitely learned a valuable lesson about how to handle people and their emotions.

[AJ Holiday]

I used to be with this guy in my 20s, and I would always tell him, because I'm not the crazy bitch, right? But I would always warn him, like, somebody gonna do something to you one day, because the things he would do would definitely have a crazy doing a lot of to him. And my ex fiance, like, this was pulling up and knocking on the bedroom window and like that. Like, that's a crazy person. And you still putting dick in her.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. My grandma said she seen somebody cut her brother out, bought him a suit, and cut the suit off his ass at the juke joint when they was young.

[AJ Holiday]

What?

[Tam Bam]

Cut him right out the suit. He had to go home ass naked because that means I slice him up, I guess.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm indifferent about Brandy character. I really feel like she's not that crazy. Like, she is crazy in theory, like she is. But she is not just right.

[Tam Bam]

She ain't just crazy for the strength of being crazy. No, you led her there, you took her there, and you got. You suffered the consequences of it. And that's a valuable lesson. It's a lot of people missing from this earth today because they played with somebody feelings. And that applies to women, too. Y'all. Y'all don't play with these because they got emotions too.

[AJ Holiday]

And you know, there is truly a thin line between love and hate because I believe that they're the same emotion, right? Loving somebody and hating them, it's like. It's very, very, extremely strong emotions, Especially like being in love with somebody and then getting hurt. Like, that will alter who you are a little bit. So, yeah, like, just this. This. It's the same on different ends of the spectrum. Be careful.

[Tam Bam]

But they so close together. Ain't that the crazy part?

[AJ Holiday]

Mm. Yeah. So set your emotional boundaries, okay? Tell people who you are up front. Hey, I'm crazy. You put that dick in me, raw, gonna get lit.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Just letting you know up front.

[Tam Bam]

I don't like that for some reason, though.

[AJ Holiday]

And they keep the crazy bitch. They keep putting dick in the girl. Who be busting a car window and stuff like that. And that is just not who I am. So maybe that's why relationships be going array with me, because I'm not crazy. I know men like mean girls. I am a mean. Now, I could be a mean girl, but I'm not a crazy girl. You know, I might sound like your. Like your mama a little bit when I'm telling you to do some shit.

[Tam Bam]

See, I think I'm. I'm. I have. I identify more with Brandy. Like, I'm. I'll be nice and nice and nice and nice. And then I spit in your face. Like I told him. I know he was surprised to hear me say that because I've been like this sweet, you know, docile little thing the whole time again. Now you took me here and now this how I'm talking to you. And I mean it. But I'm working on that, y'all. I'm working on that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, we are all work in progress. And I'm working on not being mean. Right? It'd be just. Just make you be mean sometimes, man. That's not my normal setting either. It wasn't. It used to not be my normal setting, but things I've been through some. Okay, that just. It just has me different. And I might not even care enough to be mean nowadays, so it's really not even like, I don't even say nothing anymore. For real.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So that might be a problem too, because now, like, even if you don't feel like some shit is festering, it might be festering. And so when you finally do say something about it, it might come out in anger, right. Because you just been just not saying.

[Tam Bam]

Holding on to it. So what's your last. Last for the girlies and guys listening?

[AJ Holiday]

I'm. A little bit of brandy. Okay. Just a tiny bit of brandy. Tiny, tiny bit of brandy. Little bit of brandy. Like, one of my homegirls sent the nigga who she pregnant for some balloons to his birthday party that his bitch planned for him. She sent congratulations, it's a boy, big dumbass balloons and had them delivered via instacart to his birthday party. That's my level of crazy.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

That's nice.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

That's not too much just in case somebody didn't know.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Everybody who love you that's in here know you got a baby on the way, right? Yeah, like, I think that's nice. That's my level of crazy. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And that's not too much, you know, Nobody gonna die. Nobody getting shot. You know? That's. That's right. But if he wasn't outside playing, that wouldn't happen to him. He wouldn't be getting them balloons if he was being having integrity and being honest. Yeah, with some integrity. And that's my last. Last. Just operate with integrity and then you don't have to worry about nobody being Brandy. Right? Being a Brandy, sending you no balloons or calling you a and telling you that they gonna spit on you. That part, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

Hey y'all, listen, be careful out here because Brandy's be lurking. They be lurking. Y'all be careful out here when y'all dating these. These. I like this, y'all. If you enjoyed this episode as well, y'all tune in every Thursday on the black effect iHeartradio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams if you want to follow me now. If you want to get on kick a tam, y'all.

[Tam Bam]

It's official tam bam on Gristogram on Instagram. I love y'all so much. Thank y'all for tuning in once again. Remember, speak now and never hold your.

[AJ Holiday]

Crazy cause these niggas. Cause why are you playing with me period? Bye. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Ryan]

PayPal lets you pay all your pals like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper?

[Tam Bam]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Ryan]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[AJ Holiday]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy.

[Ryan]

Ooh, yes, that's smart. Glad we can agree on something easily. Pool split and Send Money with PayPal. Get started in the PayPal app. A PayPal account is required to send and receive money. A balance account is required to create a pool. Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report.

[AJ Holiday]

Amazon One Medical presents Painful Thoughts do they ever actually clean the ball pit at these kids play gyms?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Or is my kid just swimming in.

[AJ Holiday]

A vat of bacteria catching whatever cootie of the day is breeding in there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A cootie that'll probably take down our whole family.

[AJ Holiday]

Luckily, with Amazon One Medical 24. 7 Virtual Care, you can get checked out for whatever ball pit itis you've contracted. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Tam Bam]

This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas.

[Ryan]

With Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

[Tam Bam]

Have you ever felt that uneasy anxiety.

[Ryan]

When the 4pm hour strikes?

[Tam Bam]

That creeping meal related distress that happens.

[Ryan]

When you don't quite feel prepared? You know, dinner dread.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's get rid of that unpleasant feeling forever with one word. Stouffers. No matter what happens, you'll have a.

[Ryan]

Dinner plan that everyone loves. With Stouffers, some chicken enchiladas are a.

[Tam Bam]

Cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake is.

[Ryan]

Always welcome whether it is plan A or plan delicious.

[AJ Holiday]

Not gonna lie, I eat the lasagna once a week and that's a fact. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's shop now for family favorites.