Podcast Summary: We Talk Back – Episode: Adore Your Life feat. Vanity Ware
Episode Information:
- Title: Adore Your Life feat. Vanity Ware
- Hosts: TamBam and A.J. Holiday
- Guest: Vanity Weir
- Release Date: July 31, 2025
- Produced by: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts
Introduction and Hosts' Catch-Up
The episode kicks off with the hosts, TamBam and A.J. Holiday, reconnecting after a brief hiatus. They share personal updates, discussing their weekends and the challenges of balancing work and personal time.
- A.J. Holiday [01:06]: "What weekend? Okay, because I literally had a day and a half to myself yesterday."
- TamBam [01:25]: "I guess my week. I work every weekend, so it don't feel no different for me."
Fertility Rate Decline in the U.S.
TamBam introduces a significant topic: the declining fertility rate in the United States, dropping to an all-time low of 1.6 children per woman in 2024. She delves into the possible reasons behind this trend, including economic concerns, delayed marriages, and inadequate support systems like parental leave and affordable childcare.
- TamBam [04:50]: "Is not having babies like they used to. Not in America anyway."
A.J. Holiday adds personal insights, contemplating fertility challenges and the increasing reliance on solutions like in vitro fertilization (IVF).
- A.J. Holiday [06:15]: "As somebody who will probably have to do in vitro, like no doctor has said, I can't conceive naturally, but I have one tube, right."
T App Hacking and Privacy Concerns
The conversation shifts to a recent incident where the T App, designed to help women identify red-flag men and catch cheaters, was hacked. The breach exposed around 72,000 user-submitted images, including selfies and photo IDs, raising significant privacy and security concerns.
- A.J. Holiday [10:45]: "The T app was recently hacked after going viral, exposing 72,000 user photos."
TamBam humorously relates to the issue, revealing her limited interaction with the app.
- TamBam [11:09]: "I know my selfie up there."
Dating Dynamics: Predators and Money Manipulation
The hosts delve into the complexities of modern dating, particularly the predatory behaviors exhibited by some men. They share personal anecdotes and discuss how both men and women can manipulate situations for personal gain.
- A.J. Holiday [16:54]: "Women do that too. Women be predators. Women are apex predators."
They emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing red flags to avoid being exploited emotionally and financially.
Balancing Success and Personal Life as Black Women in Tech
The guest segment introduces Vanity Weir, a certified life and business coach with over 13 years of experience in the tech industry. Vanity discusses the unique challenges Black women face in corporate tech roles, including burnout and the pressure to code-switch to fit into predominantly white environments.
- Vanity Weir [30:05]: "Some roles in tech don't require you to be super techie. It's about tailoring your existing skills to fit into the tech industry."
Code-Switching and Authenticity in Corporate Environments
TamBam and Vanity engage in a deep conversation about code-switching, exploring how Black women navigate professional settings while striving to remain authentic to their cultural identities.
- TamBam [33:31]: "I don't really believe in code switching. I believe in literally being yourself."
- Vanity Weir [34:02]: "You deserve to be in that room. You add value."
They highlight the emotional toll of constantly adjusting one's demeanor and language to meet corporate expectations, advocating for environments that embrace diversity and authenticity.
Life Coaching vs. Therapy
The discussion moves to the distinctions between life coaching and therapy. Vanity explains that while therapy focuses on addressing past traumas and emotional healing, life coaching centers on setting and achieving future goals, providing accountability and celebration of achievements.
- Vanity Weir [46:17]: "Therapy focuses on your past, while life coaching helps you set and achieve your goals in the present."
Social Media and Mental Health
The hosts critique the pervasive influence of social media on mental health, urging listeners to disconnect and live in the moment rather than constantly documenting it.
- A.J. Holiday [67:06]: "We don't even know how to live in a moment. We're taking a picture of the moment and not even living the moment."
- TamBam [68:33]: "Are you really living? Are you just a walking Truman Show?"
They advocate for reprogramming one's inner algorithm to prioritize real-life experiences over virtual validation.
Navigating Friendships and Boundaries with Men
A significant portion of the episode addresses the complexities of male-female friendships, particularly the blurred lines that often lead to sexual advances and misunderstandings. The hosts stress the importance of clear boundaries and communication to maintain platonic relationships without ulterior motives.
- TamBam [54:34]: "They are not your friends. The only friend you got..."
- A.J. Holiday [56:00]: "No, they are not your friends."
Advice from Vanity Weir on Entering Tech
Vanity provides actionable advice for individuals looking to pivot into the tech industry, emphasizing that technical expertise isn't the only pathway. She encourages leveraging transferable skills from other fields, such as customer service or project management, to secure roles in tech.
- Vanity Weir [40:34]: "Tailor your existing skills to fit into tech. If you have experience in customer service, relate that to a business analyst role."
She also discusses the impact of AI in recruitment processes and offers tips on optimizing resumes to pass through automated screening systems.
Conclusion and Key Takeaways
The episode wraps up with the hosts emphasizing the importance of self-love, setting boundaries, and pursuing personal and professional growth. They encourage listeners to engage with Vanity's coaching services and utilize the provided journals to document their journey toward adoring their lives.
- Vanity Weir [82:25]: "You can find me on social media at adorecoachvanity. I book sessions and host events to support Black women in tech."
Notable Quotes
- A.J. Holiday [03:45]: "It's like the Truman Show. I'm just riding and somebody's controlling the button."
- TamBam [17:57]: "Did you not listen to flew out 101 girlfriend. You need to go back to season one, baby girl."
- Vanity Weir [31:29]: "Make sure you're saying your affirmations and building community. Go to therapy."
Final Thoughts
"We Talk Back" delivers a candid and insightful discussion on various issues affecting Black women, particularly those navigating professional landscapes like tech. With relatable anecdotes, humor, and expert advice from Vanity Weir, the episode offers valuable perspectives on personal growth, professional challenges, and the importance of community support.
Connect with Vanity Weir:
- Instagram: @adorecoachvanity
- Website: Adore Your Life
Follow the Hosts:
- A.J. Holiday: @AJHoliday2.0
- TamBam: @TamBamOfficial
Join the Conversation: Tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or your favorite podcast platform to catch the latest episodes of "We Talk Back."