We Talk Back - Episode: Black Dads Club
Podcast Information:
- Title: We Talk Back
- Hosts: TamBam and AJ Holiday
- Produced by: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts
- Description: Hosted by two unapologetically Black women with opinions, TamBam and AJ Holiday navigate the complexities of relationships, femininity, and personal growth. The podcast offers raw, unfiltered conversation infused with humor, covering topics like sex, relationships, money, and more, while providing advice and insights to its listeners.
- Episode Title: Black Dads Club
- Release Date: March 6, 2025
Introduction [03:20 - 03:57]
TamBam and AJ Holiday kick off the episode with their signature energy, inviting listeners to engage with their dynamic conversation. They express excitement about diving into the topic of Black fatherhood, highlighting its significance and the stereotypes often associated with it.
TamBam: "Welcome to We Talk Back, where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee cocktail and crown and. Cause it's about to go down."
AJ Holiday: "What's up, y'all? It's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?"
Introducing the Guests: Black Dads Club [37:31 - 38:05]
The hosts introduce their guests from the Black Dads Club podcast, Gavin B. and Harley Quinn Smith, setting the stage for an in-depth discussion on Black fatherhood.
Harley Quinn Smith: "Hey, young man."
Charlamagne Tha God (Gavin B.): "My name is Gavin B. I'm from Charlotte. I'm a photographer. I'm a dad. I'm a boy dad. He whipping my ass every day."
Background and Formation of Black Dads Club [38:06 - 43:54]
Gavin B. and Harley Quinn Smith share the origins of their podcast, detailing how their friendship and shared experiences as fathers led to the creation of Black Dads Club. They discuss the challenges of balancing personal lives with podcasting and the evolution of their content to focus more on parenting and topics relevant to Black fathers.
Gavin B.: "Because I came back. So I took, like, three months off of photography, podcasting, and we love to tell people now. Like, I literally told my wife. I'm like, yo, when I get back, I'm just telling Mike this. This is done. Like, I'm done. I'm out."
Harley Quinn Smith: "We was going through Names. And then he was like, that's the one."
Addressing Stereotypes and Realities of Black Fatherhood [45:58 - 52:02]
The conversation delves into common myths about Black fathers, emphasizing that contrary to stereotypes, many Black men are actively involved in their children's lives. They discuss statistical misconceptions and highlight the importance of recognizing and celebrating the active roles Black fathers play.
Gavin B.: "Oh, it has to be that we really are active. Like every dad that I know, even the dads who do not spend enough time with their kids. Right. Every dad I know loves their kid."
Harley Quinn Smith: "But Tam Bam, what about minister Mike."
Challenges Faced by Black Fathers [52:03 - 63:56]
TamBam and AJ Holiday explore the multifaceted challenges Black fathers encounter, including societal expectations, financial pressures, and the balance between discipline and nurturing. The guests share personal anecdotes about navigating these challenges, stressing the need for supportive communities and open conversations.
Harley Quinn Smith: "I reserve the right to, though. I don't think it needs to be against the law."
Gavin B.: "So now, podcast has changed. We talk about parenting sometimes, but it's mostly just shit that black dads, like, love and care about."
Parenting Techniques and Discipline [63:37 - 74:35]
The discussion shifts to parenting styles, particularly the debate between strict discipline and gentle parenting. The guests express concerns about "soft" parenting potentially leaving children unprepared for real-world challenges. They advocate for a balanced approach that includes setting boundaries while fostering emotional intelligence and resilience.
TamBam: "We need to bring back the belt."
Harley Quinn Smith: "Yes, it's having a baby out of wedlock. So that's always the first advice I have to young men."
Stepdads and Blended Families [74:35 - 89:00]
TamBam and AJ Holiday address the dynamics of stepfathers and blended families, emphasizing the importance of respect and communication between biological fathers and stepfathers. They discuss the potential for harmony or conflict, depending on the relationships and boundaries established within the family unit.
Harley Quinn Smith: "If you marry a woman that has a child, that man should not be calling my wife. He should be calling me."
Gavin B.: "My kid, you know, I'm bringing him in here one day."
Personal Stories and Lessons Learned [89:00 - 100:00]
The episode concludes with the guests sharing personal stories of being played in relationships and the lessons they've learned about boundaries, trust, and the importance of open communication. They offer advice to young fathers on maintaining healthy relationships and prioritizing their children's well-being.
Charlamagne Tha God: "You gotta pick a bitch and do that."
Harley Quinn Smith: "Make sure you like the woman. You know, make sure you want to marry her before you ever get. Don't have babies out of wedlock."
Conclusion and Final Thoughts [100:00 - End]
TamBam and AJ Holiday wrap up the episode by reiterating the importance of active Black fatherhood and encouraging listeners to engage with the Black Dads Club community. They emphasize ongoing support, education, and the celebration of positive fatherhood within the Black community.
TamBam: "Always hold your children."
AJ Holiday: "Unless you're a stepdaddy."
Notable Quotes
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Gavin B. [45:58]: "Every dad I know loves their kid."
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Harley Quinn Smith [63:56]: "If you don't like your girl, don't give her a kid."
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Charlamagne Tha God [74:35]: "Love is the foundation of fatherhood."
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TamBam [89:00]: "That's called empathy."
Key Takeaways
- Active Involvement: Contrary to stereotypes, many Black fathers are actively involved in their children's lives, providing love, support, and guidance.
- Balancing Discipline and Nurture: Effective parenting requires a balance between setting boundaries and fostering emotional intelligence.
- Communication is Crucial: Open and respectful communication between biological fathers, stepfathers, and partners is essential for healthy family dynamics.
- Support Systems: Building supportive communities and engaging in conversations about fatherhood can help overcome challenges and stereotypes.
- Personal Growth: Fathers are encouraged to continuously learn and adapt their parenting styles to better support their children's development.
Final Notes: This episode of "We Talk Back" offers a comprehensive exploration of Black fatherhood, debunking myths and highlighting the positive roles Black fathers play in their families. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, TamBam and AJ Holiday, along with their guests, provide valuable perspectives and actionable advice for listeners aiming to embrace and enhance their roles as fathers.