Black Dads Club

Summary

We Talk Back - Episode: Black Dads Club

Podcast Information:

• Title: We Talk Back
• Hosts: TamBam and AJ Holiday
• Produced by: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts
• Description: Hosted by two unapologetically Black women with opinions, TamBam and AJ Holiday navigate the complexities of relationships, femininity, and personal growth. The podcast offers raw, unfiltered conversation infused with humor, covering topics like sex, relationships, money, and more, while providing advice and insights to its listeners.
• Episode Title: Black Dads Club
• Release Date: March 6, 2025

---

Introduction [03:20 - 03:57]

TamBam and AJ Holiday kick off the episode with their signature energy, inviting listeners to engage with their dynamic conversation. They express excitement about diving into the topic of Black fatherhood, highlighting its significance and the stereotypes often associated with it.

TamBam: "Welcome to We Talk Back, where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee cocktail and crown and. Cause it's about to go down."

AJ Holiday: "What's up, y'all? It's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?"

---

Introducing the Guests: Black Dads Club [37:31 - 38:05]

The hosts introduce their guests from the Black Dads Club podcast, Gavin B. and Harley Quinn Smith, setting the stage for an in-depth discussion on Black fatherhood.

Harley Quinn Smith: "Hey, young man."

Charlamagne Tha God (Gavin B.): "My name is Gavin B. I'm from Charlotte. I'm a photographer. I'm a dad. I'm a boy dad. He whipping my ass every day."

---

Background and Formation of Black Dads Club [38:06 - 43:54]

Gavin B. and Harley Quinn Smith share the origins of their podcast, detailing how their friendship and shared experiences as fathers led to the creation of Black Dads Club. They discuss the challenges of balancing personal lives with podcasting and the evolution of their content to focus more on parenting and topics relevant to Black fathers.

Gavin B.: "Because I came back. So I took, like, three months off of photography, podcasting, and we love to tell people now. Like, I literally told my wife. I'm like, yo, when I get back, I'm just telling Mike this. This is done. Like, I'm done. I'm out."

Harley Quinn Smith: "We was going through Names. And then he was like, that's the one."

---

Addressing Stereotypes and Realities of Black Fatherhood [45:58 - 52:02]

The conversation delves into common myths about Black fathers, emphasizing that contrary to stereotypes, many Black men are actively involved in their children's lives. They discuss statistical misconceptions and highlight the importance of recognizing and celebrating the active roles Black fathers play.

Gavin B.: "Oh, it has to be that we really are active. Like every dad that I know, even the dads who do not spend enough time with their kids. Right. Every dad I know loves their kid."

Harley Quinn Smith: "But Tam Bam, what about minister Mike."

---

Challenges Faced by Black Fathers [52:03 - 63:56]

TamBam and AJ Holiday explore the multifaceted challenges Black fathers encounter, including societal expectations, financial pressures, and the balance between discipline and nurturing. The guests share personal anecdotes about navigating these challenges, stressing the need for supportive communities and open conversations.

Harley Quinn Smith: "I reserve the right to, though. I don't think it needs to be against the law."

Gavin B.: "So now, podcast has changed. We talk about parenting sometimes, but it's mostly just shit that black dads, like, love and care about."

---

Parenting Techniques and Discipline [63:37 - 74:35]

The discussion shifts to parenting styles, particularly the debate between strict discipline and gentle parenting. The guests express concerns about "soft" parenting potentially leaving children unprepared for real-world challenges. They advocate for a balanced approach that includes setting boundaries while fostering emotional intelligence and resilience.

TamBam: "We need to bring back the belt."

Harley Quinn Smith: "Yes, it's having a baby out of wedlock. So that's always the first advice I have to young men."

---

Stepdads and Blended Families [74:35 - 89:00]

TamBam and AJ Holiday address the dynamics of stepfathers and blended families, emphasizing the importance of respect and communication between biological fathers and stepfathers. They discuss the potential for harmony or conflict, depending on the relationships and boundaries established within the family unit.

Harley Quinn Smith: "If you marry a woman that has a child, that man should not be calling my wife. He should be calling me."

Gavin B.: "My kid, you know, I'm bringing him in here one day."

---

Personal Stories and Lessons Learned [89:00 - 100:00]

The episode concludes with the guests sharing personal stories of being played in relationships and the lessons they've learned about boundaries, trust, and the importance of open communication. They offer advice to young fathers on maintaining healthy relationships and prioritizing their children's well-being.

Charlamagne Tha God: "You gotta pick a bitch and do that."

Harley Quinn Smith: "Make sure you like the woman. You know, make sure you want to marry her before you ever get. Don't have babies out of wedlock."

---

Conclusion and Final Thoughts [100:00 - End]

TamBam and AJ Holiday wrap up the episode by reiterating the importance of active Black fatherhood and encouraging listeners to engage with the Black Dads Club community. They emphasize ongoing support, education, and the celebration of positive fatherhood within the Black community.

TamBam: "Always hold your children."

AJ Holiday: "Unless you're a stepdaddy."

---

Notable Quotes

• Gavin B. [45:58]: "Every dad I know loves their kid."

• Harley Quinn Smith [63:56]: "If you don't like your girl, don't give her a kid."

• Charlamagne Tha God [74:35]: "Love is the foundation of fatherhood."

• TamBam [89:00]: "That's called empathy."

---

Key Takeaways

1. Active Involvement: Contrary to stereotypes, many Black fathers are actively involved in their children's lives, providing love, support, and guidance.
2. Balancing Discipline and Nurture: Effective parenting requires a balance between setting boundaries and fostering emotional intelligence.
3. Communication is Crucial: Open and respectful communication between biological fathers, stepfathers, and partners is essential for healthy family dynamics.
4. Support Systems: Building supportive communities and engaging in conversations about fatherhood can help overcome challenges and stereotypes.
5. Personal Growth: Fathers are encouraged to continuously learn and adapt their parenting styles to better support their children's development.

---

Final Notes: This episode of "We Talk Back" offers a comprehensive exploration of Black fatherhood, debunking myths and highlighting the positive roles Black fathers play in their families. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, TamBam and AJ Holiday, along with their guests, provide valuable perspectives and actionable advice for listeners aiming to embrace and enhance their roles as fathers.

Transcript

[Nissan Voiceover]

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[A.J. Holiday]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient light, bows and massaging leather.

[Tam Bam]

Appointed seats are optional features.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti racism spin class and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[A.J. Holiday]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or where you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless dless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm the old one, I'm the young one.

[Kevin Smith]

And every week we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or where you get your podcasts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Ow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Go slower. From Blumhouse TV, iHeart podcasts and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi and what's the way to Find a missing person, sleep with everyone he knew, obviously. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to to your favorite shows. Peace to the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne Tha God. And guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April 26th at Pullman Yards. And it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, Mandy B. And Weezy. Okay, we got the R and B Money podcast with Tank and Jay Valentine. We got the Woman Evolved podcast with Sarah, Jake Roberts. We got Good Moms, Bad Choices, Carrie Champion will be there with her Neck in Sports podcast. And the Trap Nerds podcast with more to be announced. And of course, it's bigger than podcast. We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your Tickets [e-mail] podcast festival.

[A.J. Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back, where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee cocktail and crown and. Cause it's about to go down.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks back.

[A.J. Holiday]

What's up, y'all? It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

What's up, girl? How you doing?

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm good.

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'all. I love y'all. Once again, thank y'all for tuning in. I missed y'all.

[A.J. Holiday]

How was your little street girl? You got your new little streak, girl.

[Tam Bam]

You know, I had to put a little blonde in there because I was feeling like having fun. And they say blondes have more fun. And I've been outside in New York.

[A.J. Holiday]

With them Brooklyn cats now.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, I've been hanging out with some queens in Brooklyn. Oh, it's a Brooklyn shout out to my homegirl, Tina. Tina came outside last night.

[A.J. Holiday]

Big Tina.

[Tam Bam]

New York was lit this weekend. Gervonta. Oh, Gervonta had a fight. But we're gonna talk about it in a minute. Let's talk about your weekend. What'd you do?

[A.J. Holiday]

My weekend was great. I told you I was going to Miami this weekend. So I did attend the premiere for July 7th is the name of the movie, and it was really good. It is. It's about the. The Haitian assassination of the Haitian president. So, I mean, I know the story when When. When the President was actually assassinated, I did a whole. Went down a super rabbit hole, see what the was going on. And this was actually during COVID so a lot of people just not paying attention to world events because it's just everything was in shambles at the time.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

So yeah, it was a really good event. Turn out beautiful black people. It was really black tie. Okay. You know, sometimes people be like, black tie, you gonna have, girl? I took two dresses, the dress I wanted to wear. I tried to lose £10 in a week. It didn't work.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[A.J. Holiday]

I lost five, though, but it just wasn't enough. And I'm keeping my dress, cuz it's sold out online. You're gonna get.

[Tam Bam]

And you're gonna get that other five off.

[A.J. Holiday]

I am. They could at least put a little. A little elastic down at the leg part. That's where it was tight at because it had like the little train. Yeah. I would have been just sitting there uncomfortable in the little ass that you wore.

[Tam Bam]

You should post that picture on your page.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. And shout out to my homegirl, Dorothy Robinson. Okay. She was in her big executive producer bag on this show. This is the first time I saw my St. Louis friends job this weekend since I left St. Louis in 2015. Casinos lost 330, 230 in the casino on the slot machine in 10 minutes. And I'm still regretting it today because I could have bought some stock options with them $230 and flipped it right quick, I guess.

[Tam Bam]

Having a good time?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

I just been all over New York eating. I ain't gonna never lose no weight like this.

[A.J. Holiday]

Don't say never.

[Tam Bam]

All right. Eating like this, I won't. But I had Trini food for the first time. Trinidadians. Is that how you say it? Trinidadians? Shout out to them that food. I had this thing called a shrimp and goat.

[A.J. Holiday]

Doubles like burgers.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, my God. It's called doubles. And it's like this doughy. No, it's kind of like this doughy kind of. It tastes like some doughy bread that you would get from the fair or something. Like a pita.

[A.J. Holiday]

The dumplings. Oh, like festival. Like from Jamaica or like.

[Tam Bam]

It kind of tastes. Yeah, it kind of tastes like that a little bit, Johnny. Like chickpeas and all kind of stuff on the inside. And then you choose your topping. Oh, my God, it was so good.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's not like a beef patty kind.

[Tam Bam]

Of, kind of, kind of. It would give something like that. Right. But it was so good. I had that from this A restaurant called Trinity City in Queens. Shout out to Trinity City. I will be back. Yes. I just been eating and then I went to this bar called Charm Bar. I went there last night, so I'm just hanging out a little bit. Yeah, it's a nice little bar. It's a lot of these places in New York are real tiny, you know, it's not a lot of space. Yeah, but it was a cool vibe. It was so cold. It was like 20 something degrees last night, so it was freezing. But anytime I get a reason to pull out a fur coat, I'm gonna do it. So I throw on my fur.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's the only place you're gonna pull that fur coat out anyway.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, no, I would pull it out in Charlotte. If it get below, if. If there's a three in front of the. The temperature, I'm gonna pull out a fur coat.

[A.J. Holiday]

You remember Vlad, right? Yeah. Yeah. Did you go to his mom?

[Tam Bam]

He asked me to do some hosting there. So we're supposed to have a conversation about me doing a little hosting at dia.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I want to go there. And yeah, he's telling me to come. Come to New York and go down. Like, I am just not a New York girl. And it has to be warm outside. I'll definitely come in April or May. I cannot do the cold. New York cold. And they was talking about some arctic weather last week. Who?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's what. Yeah, but other than that, it's cool. Let's get in the sins. Let's talk about Geronta, because that happened over the weekend too, here in New York at the Barclays Center. There was a big fight and Gervonta. What's his name? Davis. Yeah, he took a knee during the fight. He took a knee during the fight. And did you watch the fight?

[A.J. Holiday]

I missed it because by the end of the. The premiere, the fight was over.

[Tam Bam]

I did not watch the fight. I was. I was. So on Saturday, I was in Charlotte. I got back to New York on Sunday morning, so I missed it. I was trying to get back in time, but I had to handle business, so I couldn't get back. So I did not watch it. But I saw the clip on the shade room at the end where he was like his hair grease had come down into his eyes, and that's why he took a knee.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Tank, you voluntarily took a knee midway through this fight.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was not ruled a knockdown.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

What happened?

[Tam Bam]

I just got my head done two days ago, and she picked grease in my.

[A.J. Holiday]

So the was like, you know, like.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

When you Sweating and things like that.

[Tam Bam]

And the grease come in my. My face, it burnt my eyes type.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Damn. Why y'all going?

[A.J. Holiday]

Like I'm saying that? Got knocked down. That ain't tick. No, it was.

[Tam Bam]

That.

[A.J. Holiday]

He better cut it out now.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Right?

[Tam Bam]

Stop playing. You know what time it is? Was hurting, like, but it was a draw. So they're gonna fight again. So the next one I want to go to.

[A.J. Holiday]

I saw that the hairstylist came out, was like, boy, that's some. I did your hair on Wednesday. It's Saturday. Ain't no excuse for you to be slipping, sliding in the ring. He got knocked on his knees a little bit. You know, he. The guy who he fought. They apparently grew up together. They probably grew up sparring. So they. They. If anybody knows his techniques. Is this.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it's not. It's not. He didn't even get knocked on his.

[A.J. Holiday]

Lamont.

[Tam Bam]

He took a knee. You can see he took a knee. You know, like, pause. Hold on. Pause. Wait a minute.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, let me gather. Because I just got hit hard.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah, let me gather. That's what really happened. He had to gather his thoughts.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

He tried to save face with that hairstyle, but.

[A.J. Holiday]

So it's gonna. It's a draw. They're gonna do another fight and get that check, period.

[Tam Bam]

No, not. They're gonna go back to Vegas because it was in New York this time. Maybe they'll get.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, I said they gonna get that check. But Vegas runs all sports. That's what I mean. Oh, they got that check out of Vegas. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. And so I wonder how that works, because when is it a draw? Does everybody get paid, or does nobody pay out? I think everybody gets paid out.

[A.J. Holiday]

They still got to make. I mean, get money for doing. Putting a show on because people still bought tickets. So I. I don't know if they maybe get a lesser amount. I don't know how that works. Maybe they just finessed. They finesse the plug right quick. Saturday girl. So Jennifer. Jennifer Williams. Y'all remember Jennifer Williams from Basketball Wives? This girl just got married to this Christian Gold.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't even believe that's his last name. And I heard that she was trying to actually take on that last name, too, to be Jennifer Gold. But do you think she poss. She's possibly a scammer herself? Because now he's in the news for scamming some people in some type of Ponzi scheme out of $120,000. And the article is kind of weird because it says he's violated the Georgia RICO act. But then on the other hand is saying that it's a class action lawsuit from a group of people. So I don't know. It says Christian Gold, AKA Christian Walden, his real name is again in legal hot water. This week, 21 people filed a lawsuit against against Kristen in atlant area court with multiple allegations. The various plaintiffs alleged Kristen solicited money from each one of the pretense. Excuse me. For each one of them under the pretense of an. Of an investment opportunity. However, they claim Christian failed to invest their money and engage in a Ponzi scheme, claiming he paid early investors with money. So, yeah, let me take your money. What. What I call people be doing in the h.

[Tam Bam]

The what is blessing? A blessing ring.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what they call it in the church, but on the streets, they call it a susu. Some.

[Tam Bam]

But this is somebody gonna lose.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, the people who usually come in on the back end are usually the ones that's gonna lose. If you started it, you're gonna get paid first, but you're getting paid from the people at the bottom, the people you bring in, you know? So the only way that only works.

[Tam Bam]

Is if it keeps going forever. But it don't. As soon as it stopped, somebody gonna.

[A.J. Holiday]

Take an L. Exactly. So they said he took money from 150 victims from around the the country. This is her second scammer that we know of that has, you know, sweetie pie, what's the dude she was engaged to? He's in prison now for life, I believe for having his nephew murdered for insurance fraud.

[Tam Bam]

He was engaged?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I believe so. Or maybe they just. They were dating for a while. She got scammed by him too, I believe. So is she a part of the scams or you just like scammy ass and this dude is 31 years old, I think she's at least 50. 48. 48 to 50, we'll say.

[Tam Bam]

We.

[A.J. Holiday]

You never know what these people on Google. But girl, what are you doing? And I remember seeing like some videos online and I think it was Evelyn was like afraid to, you know, address her about her man, you know what I'm saying? Like, does he really have money? Is he gonna be able to take care of you just like on some real life concern, friendship. Well, you know your friend is a habitual dumb bitch, right? Just be letting men take advantage of them. And it's like you want to try and intervene some because you love them, right? But it just keeps happening. Like you attracting these people.

[Tam Bam]

I ain't got no judge of Jury for J. F. Because I listen. It's so hard out here. I hear so many stories of women dating people who they thought they were somebody and they turned out they were somebody else. So I don't know. You know, she might just be getting finessed.

[A.J. Holiday]

Do you think googling is now a part of dating? Like, when you meet somebody, like, you start googling them to see who they are and, like, what you can find on them?

[Tam Bam]

Absolutely.

[A.J. Holiday]

I think that should be a part of the process. I'm not going to tell you I googled your ass, but I'm already know a lot of shit about you. I have some friends who will be dating these people that they say are celebrities or this person was drafted this place and that. And I'm googling them and I'm like, that never played in NFL. The never did none of the things that my friend is telling me he's doing. And I just don't say nothing. I just wait to figure it out because it's like, you haven't done your due diligence. You just going off of what this is telling you. I'm not dying my place.

[Tam Bam]

On several occasions, girl, I saw this because if I took the time to look it up, I'm gonna take the time to tell you, look, look what they say. They say he ain't there.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, because people might call you a hater, you know what I'm saying? But and the reason it has to be something that the person says. Right. That kind of triggers me even to do this. Like, that don't even sound right. Why it sound right to her? You know what I'm saying? So if it sounds right to her, I don't want to be the one to burst a bubble. I'll just let her find out on her own. And I'm saying her, but it's actually plural.

[Tam Bam]

Well, I guess it depends on the. Because you have to be careful with telling people about their relationship. You really do. So it just depend on how close I am to this person.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. And see, that's what I was saying on that clip I saw with Jennifer Williams. She was very defensive when her girlfriends was trying to, like, you know, making sure she's making the best decision for her. And like, I guess she felt like none of them were really in a position to question her about her relationship when all of them that had like, kind of up relationships, but none of them landed them in jail.

[Tam Bam]

But you know what? I think Jennifer Williams, based on how she presented on the show, would lead people to believe that she is A woman who likes the finer things and men who have disposable income. So she probably attracts the type of men who get. Men who scam for money are more free with their money. Okay, yes. Because they didn't have to work for it. Right. So. So she's probably attracting these types of men who can spend frivolously. And she likes that, you know, so that's how she end up with these scammers.

[A.J. Holiday]

But just say you like scammers so your friends can shut the up. Like, I like white collar crime a little bit. Like, I like.

[Tam Bam]

I don't think smart to do these things.

[A.J. Holiday]

Those are smart men. Like, who could figure out how to get a million dollars off the computer. Like, yeah, I don't think nothing. Let's do it.

[Tam Bam]

But I don't think she likes scammers. I think she likes being spoiled. And scammers can spoil in a way that the average American is not, you know.

[A.J. Holiday]

What was that? That popped the balloon? Did you see that video with the pop the balloon video where it was a doctor and then this guy with all the big jewelry on who'll be hopping off the low ass jet. Not even. No real private plane. He'd be on like helicopters and hopping off. But he basically was like, how much money you make? The doctor is like, we're not about to like compare my, my money to your illegal money. Like feds, where y'all at?

[Tam Bam]

His money is illegal. That's a stereotype too. We don't know that. He might just be flashy.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't think so.

[Tam Bam]

No, he looks like.

[A.J. Holiday]

Scammers. Have a look, you know?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but I mean, I know doctors who wear a chain when they off work.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, big ones, like big name plates and yeah, spikes on them.

[Tam Bam]

But they got an education.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't know no hood rat doctors. I'm honest.

[Tam Bam]

No, no.

[A.J. Holiday]

Hell no.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, well, they are. There's some out there that are really hood. You don't know any professionals that are super hood, but they're professional.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, me.

[Tam Bam]

But yeah, Jennifer, we hope you find love that lasts without court.

[A.J. Holiday]

Involved and, and, and having to send canteen money and all that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, man, we hope that down. I hope that for everybody listening. Honestly, I don't think they're actually married yet.

[A.J. Holiday]

If they're, if they aren't married yet, she might want to slow down on that.

[Tam Bam]

But 31, he's young too.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, they married last time his probation officer caught him in Europe on Jennifer's IG account. He had to serve time in DeKalb County Jail, but ultimately was allowed to the country for their wedding in Paris, France. So, yeah, he's on probation, still scamming people, and they did get married.

[Tam Bam]

Now, Jennifer, I don't know, baby. Sound like. Sound like you might be in on the heist shame, but we still love you either way. All right, so AJ sent me this video over the weekend where this podcaster was asked, if your spouse and your child get knocked off a boat in the middle of the ocean and they are incapacitated, you can only save one, and the other will not make it. Who will you save? And this woman, she chose to save her husband over the child. She said, you know, that would be a hard decision, and she would be upset about it and it would be devastating, and she would grieve the child. But ultimately she's going to choose her partner over this child because they can make another child. She can't get. She would not be able to get her partner back. And she stood firm in that decision, and that is her decision. What do you think?

[A.J. Holiday]

That's the only part of the decision I respected that she stayed firm in it. And if she said if anybody asked her about it, she'd be like, yeah, I chose my husband. I don't know why anybody would ask that, you know, unless you told them, hey, I let my kid drown. But I just don't see somebody, like, in the midst of that actually happening like a mom. You carry this baby, you birthed this baby. There's a bond that a mother and a child has that a man and a woman probably would never have. You know what I'm saying? I don't think men bond with their children as much as women do. So I can't imagine, like, actually being in it and outside of a podcast sofa that you would be in the middle of the ocean and you see your husband, this big ass man, right? And your baby that you can easily save, right? Your child, small child. I just don't see you going after your husband. You know, if anything, you're gonna around and drown trying to save both of them.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

But just to like, consciously say, I can just make other kids, you don't know that, right? You know, so in that moment, I really just don't think that would be her decision. And I don't even think she's a mom.

[Tam Bam]

I think it. Well, we ain't moms, but, you know.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, but I have. Some people are moms without. Without kids.

[Tam Bam]

I think it sounded good in her head because she has. Maybe she has a man that she loves and she already knows that love and she don't know a love for this imaginary child. So the answer was easy in her head, but I think in the thick of it, she probably would choose her child. Almost I would choose anybody's child, honestly.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

If I saw a baby, yeah. If I saw like, my instinct would be to save this little helpless human just instantly. I don't know.

[A.J. Holiday]

So a man sent me that. A man sent that to me and his message with the video was, I want that in a wife. Basically saying that's what he would want his wife to do. Like he would want his wife to think like this woman. And I said, absolutely not. I said, I feel like she's pandering to men. And I said, I'm not a mom yet, but I'm saving kids before any adult. If I see a kid drowning and it's like some adults in trouble too, I'm gonna go save the kids. I think that most adults would probably just want you to get the kids, you know, they are the future. I said they are the world, they are the future. Like your lineage will go on through your, through your kids also. You won't have to make another one. Just save, save your kid.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I'm just trying to think like if I was in the ocean and it was like somebody's baby, I don't know, this like a 7 year old little white boy drowning over on one side and my sister next to me drowning, who would I save? I don't know, dog. I might say my sister. I don't know. I, I don't know. My instinct would be to grab my sister. I think it might be to grab my sister before this stranger's kid. If we're like, honestly, if I'm being quite honest in this scenario, would I think to go over and save this child that I don't know versus my sister right next to me, My instinct, because I love her, you know, I love.

[A.J. Holiday]

You have a connection with her. And that's what I'm saying about the child. So I, I would understand that in, in that moment. But we add in all these, we keep pushing the envelope with the.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Changing the scene.

[A.J. Holiday]

Because I'm like, of course I'm going for my assistant.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Because I said any child, it would be to save any child first. But that's not true.

[A.J. Holiday]

Depending on what. Okay, I'll save any child. Depending on what adult is out there. If it's my mama and the child, then yeah, the child gonna. Might have to die if I don't know the kid. Right, but we talking about your own kid.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. That pushed out of your vagina. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

But now they had that conversation about who gets to eat first at the table. And people be like, oh, my husband. My man eats before the kids. That's how.

[A.J. Holiday]

I agree. That's how I grew up.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Steak plate before us first, Everybody this. And it is only a couple moments that you're gonna wait on your plate. You know, it's not like he gets to eat and y'all gonna eat tomorrow. No, we're eating all together. He just is served first because this is. He's the king of this castle right here. And he bought the steak, and he provide and he provides. Right? So. But some people be like, why wouldn't you feed your kids first? They need sustenance because they ain't drowning.

[A.J. Holiday]

And they ain't bought in here and they ain't home. Ain't they gonna die in five minutes, me feeding their father first. You know what I'm saying? I don't even understand why that's even a discussion. It's like black people be making up the weirdest ass scenarios to kind of pin women and men against each other. Like, why is that even a discussion? Whatever y'all do in your house, like, your. Your husband might make a plate for the kids first, you know what I'm saying? It's not that he doesn't think his wife should eat first, you know?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

But you niggas who be doing that. Boyfriend. The broke boyfriend hug, standing behind the girl while she at the grocery store pulling out her debit card. You the niggas who be screaming, y'all want y'all plate before the churn, ain't it?

[Tam Bam]

That's so funny, because I went. I told you. I went to that spot, Trinity City, and he came and picked me up in the airport, right? So I was like, I'll treat. You know, I got it. It was. It was 19 for both of our food. And when I was paying for it, he stood behind me and held on to me.

[A.J. Holiday]

I just saw a post about it. That's why it's on the tip of my brain. It was like an Asian guy talking about. He was like, it's this trend on social media. Like, they got all these visual images of the man, and they all look straggly standing behind these women going in a pocketbook. And the thing is, is that the psychology behind that is you trying to. Like, first of all, you're. It's almost like when you're Trying to teach a child, like, to do something good. So, like, you're giving this affection while she is conditioning. And then the other part of it is like you're guarding other men, like, from not coming in and taking your mind, your money all up behind her. I'm gonna be like that with them old man at the atm.

[Tam Bam]

Go ahead.

[A.J. Holiday]

Rubbing his back. Come on, baby. Right, we got at the atm. Think big. Them be thinking small.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Right?

[Tam Bam]

You just got little doubles. I got you doubles, brother. And shrimp. Doubles. That's it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Speaking of saving the kids. Go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

No, I was about to say, speaking of. Oh, no, we gotta. I. I meant to mention, Angie Stone passed away over the weekend.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

That was so. You know what you just gotta be grateful for every day. Tell people you love them and count your blessings. Because you never know. There is a invisible clock on all of us. You just don't know when your number is up. But I. You know, I saw that she, like, I didn't know this about her, but she was in a rap group called the Sequence. And they were like the first rap female. Yeah. In South Carolina. And all these. All these histories of hip hop that I've seen and watched and read, and they have never been mentioned.

[A.J. Holiday]

I've seen. I thought I saw, like, a video on it recently. It probably popped back up because of her passing. But I saw that a while ago on Instagram about the group, the Sequence. Yeah, but they don't say birthdays, the ages.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, they never got the recognition that they deserved. So that's crazy to find out that that was part. She's a hip hop historian, a hip hop legend. And I didn't know that because when I think of Angie Stone, I think of Black Brother Strong. I was listening to it in the shower. Rest in peace. To South Carolina.

[A.J. Holiday]

I love Angie Stone, man. That was so, like, when I see stuff like that, I'm like, damn, man. Like, you really don't know your time. That's why every day, from the time my feet hit the floor, I'm saying, thank you.

[Tam Bam]

Gratitude, thank you, the attitude. Thank you for every moment.

[A.J. Holiday]

I say thank you at least 100 times a day. If it's not to a person, it's to myself. All day long, just be grateful, be thankful. Getting up, having another chance to do.

[Tam Bam]

All the things and be kind. Especially if y'all from New York listening to this.

[A.J. Holiday]

Are y'all okay out here?

[Tam Bam]

Are you? Well, why are you smiling? I was like, I'm happy. I don't know.

[A.J. Holiday]

I literally got on in an argument with a on clubhouse once because I said I'm from the South. Like, when I see other. When I see black people especially, I say hi. I want them to know I recognize them. I acknowledge them. I see you. Hi, man or woman. Why don't. What the. You just talking to strangers. Just talking like, who? Y'all cold. That's the problem. Y'all cold with no coat. Why y'all so mad up there that y'all don't speak to each other?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, be kind. And then they was like, stop speaking to people. It's dangerous. Like, I'm not. I'm just gonna be myself. I'm covered in the blood of Jesus.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'll never worry about.

[Tam Bam]

And I'm not going to carry that energy. I'm gonna be who I am. Everybody. Everywhere I go and I. Who I am is polite and kind to people. I like to say hi. I like to smile. I'm joyous. So. Except on that train, though, I adopt. I adopt all energies on that. I ain't looking at nobody smiling at nobody on that. I be looking at my phone just like everybody else scared the. On that 3 train.

[A.J. Holiday]

You better carry a knife like you in London. You can't have no pistol up there, baby.

[Tam Bam]

That man on that first ride on that train, that man stood over me talking about, I can balance your chakras for a dollar 75 cents right now. God.

[A.J. Holiday]

Please leave me alone. Y'all ever notice this voice Tammy be putting on? That is crazy, man. Why that's. Everybody can't possibly have that same voice.

[Tam Bam]

Who we got on today, girl?

[A.J. Holiday]

We have the black dads podcast, right?

[Tam Bam]

Yes, absolutely. Talking fatherhood and love.

[A.J. Holiday]

Amazing black men. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

And you know, one divorce, one still married.

[A.J. Holiday]

I feel like, you know, their podcast is very necessary. I wish they would do more than just a podcast with it. I suggested, yeah, we need to do.

[Tam Bam]

More than just a podcast with it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Well, what they should with our. No, but I mean like they can really, like they can really do some with black dads. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, we could do some with who talk back.

[Tam Bam]

Hey, hey, hey.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like talk back. We're gonna have a whole conference with a bunch of who be talking back to and whoever.

[Tam Bam]

Are not just. It's men who also enjoy the conversation.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. So I think they need to do like a little non profit something. Just do like a golf day with the dads. Something like that. They would. That is lit. I love. I love the black dads podcast. Okay. I'm here for it.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Me too. So y'all stay tuned. We got them coming.

[Nissan Voiceover]

The first two years of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your real cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let the sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose Premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with the 64 color personalized light option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill, or in a straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive an all new Nissan Murano today.

[Tam Bam]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather.

[A.J. Holiday]

Appointed seats are optional features.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Tam Bam]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Joe, you like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often. There's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No.

[Tam Bam]

Have we?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, not yet.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls gays and they's to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcast Podcasts. Love ya.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently cancelled. In the future we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class and mandatory Ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall Apart when people start disappearing.

[A.J. Holiday]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your luck. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless d ckless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Me. I'm the old one.

[Tam Bam]

I'm the young one.

[Kevin Smith]

And every week, we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[A.J. Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back, where we have conversations that matter, apparently. Okay, so today we are diving into the topic of black fatherhood. It's a subject full of love, responsibility, and, unfortunately, a lot of stereotypes. Okay, so we have the Black Dads Club podcast here in Charlotte on We Talk Back today.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Thank you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Thank you for having us.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Happy to be here.

[A.J. Holiday]

Introduce yourselves. Our audience always say our guests. Introduce yourselves to our audience.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Hey, young man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My name is Gavin B. I'm from Charlotte. I'm a photographer. I'm a dad. I'm a boy dad. He whipping my ass every day.

[Tam Bam]

How old is your son?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Three.

[Tam Bam]

Three. Oh, you got little.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, you got a new baby.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, newish. He talk. He listen to the show.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He should.

[Tam Bam]

Hey, what about you?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I am Pastor Mike Will. I am also a father. Gav. Longtime friend. I guess I call him that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, gosh, here we go.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I guess I call him it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Did you say Pastor Mike?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Pastor Mike Will?

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, Pastor Mike.

[Tam Bam]

Pastor Mike Will past the mic or Pastor Mike Pastor?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Like I have a congregation.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, okay. So you a holy man?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yes, I am.

[Tam Bam]

Amen, brother.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Ask him of what.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, what are you? Yeah, who are you?

[Tam Bam]

Where's your congregation?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Like, my congregation is all the productive black men that exist out there. That is my congregation.

[Tam Bam]

So you don't you have a church?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's my church.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The podcast is his church.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Podcast is my church.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, so you're not.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's right.

[A.J. Holiday]

So you don't need to.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh, you thought. You thought I was, like, a real pastor.

[Tam Bam]

I was trying to make sure. You thought I'm about the pastor kicking pussy around you. That's, you know, like. Because if you were a pastor, you know, I would say. I would say.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, you could talk that way around pastors, though. You could.

[Tam Bam]

No, I. You know, I just have to have, like.

[A.J. Holiday]

If they from Atlanta. Yes.

[Tam Bam]

I'm not gonna say that. I'm just gonna, you know.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, no, no. I'm like. I'm not like, a real church pastor, in case your audience believe that I do not have a church. Do not show up anywhere on Sunday looking for me.

[A.J. Holiday]

So are you a Samuelite?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Samuelite. What's that say?

[Tam Bam]

More Samuel. Rest in peace to Kevin. Samuel.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh, no. Yeah. Obviously not, because. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't know what that was, but I did like. I did like his clips. He is. He is miss. I missed him. I miss him on YouTube. Like, I miss all them clips. They be funny. They'd be funny.

[A.J. Holiday]

Tommy Sotomayor. Are you.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, No. I don't know. Here's the thing. I know all these guys, right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I know of all these guys.

[Tam Bam]

All right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Just making sure we.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

But I'm not red pill.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Right? Like, I'm not red pill. Now, I'm also not a cook, and I'm not a sinner. So it's, you know, I'm right there in the middle. As I always say on the pod, everybody gets all their credit.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. Got it.

[Tam Bam]

So you're using a lot of words. I do not know a cuck.

[A.J. Holiday]

I know you've seen that. That. That. Never heard of a description on a pornhub?

[Tam Bam]

I don't. It's porn, usually.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like a white man next to the dick and is going in his wife. Isn't that, like, cuckold?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That is. That is cuckold.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's part of it.

[Tam Bam]

That's part of the pornhub don't exist in Charlotte, right? Or is that.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, it's gone.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She ain't got a vpn. It's co, though.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You still get the X videos?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. You can get on pornhub. You just need.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There pretty ones out there.

[Tam Bam]

All right, well, tell me later.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I got you.

[Tam Bam]

All right. So how do you guys know each other?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You want the truth?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, go ahead. Tell the truth.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Obviously, the truth is Mike knew. My mom knew Mike before he was born. My mom is, like 15 years older than Mike, so it's through church, and so she knew Mike. So Mike knew me before I was born. But we didn't get close till. I don't know. See, I told you. It's a long.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

We. We all grew up together with your.

[Tam Bam]

Mama before you was born.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. My mom was at a church.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yep.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So Mike was born.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. So I knew Gav's parents. Like, Gav, daddy used to shoot ball. I'd be the little young dude out there trying to get on the court.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

So I remember Gav being a little two year old running around, basically. But we met because him and my brother is the same age, so they are really good friends.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So ciaa. He was like, you gotta meet my brother. And I was like, all right, whatever. We'll see how this go.

[Tam Bam]

You didn't explain that good. Because I was about to say, are you his dad? Right?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Am I his dad?

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I don't gotta think it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How young do you think I am?

[Tam Bam]

I don't know, but it was the way you described. It was like, mike know my mama.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

You think Mike is 15 years older than you, too?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He is, yeah. I'm 35. Well, he's 11 years old, so. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But, yeah, that's how we know it's through church and. But we just been. It's funny, though, because I get to always say, like, I was a baby. Didn't know Mike existed, but he knew I existed. And then his brother was like, yo, I want you to meet my brother. And we've been rocking ever since. That had to be like, 09, something like that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Nice.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, y'all. I think, like, when y'all turned, like, 21, I started bringing you boys out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

So how did y'all come up with the podcast? Same question, which I think is very, very. Yeah, it should be needed.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Well, I mean, we. We started out. So Gav. Gav had a podcast. And like, Gav and my brother had a podcast. He'd be like, oh, yeah, you should. Come on. You should come on. Come on. Right. Gavin is an early adopter to podcast. So finally we had one, and we just had really good chemistry on the podcast, so we started a podcast. It sucked. Trash, but it taught us a lot. And then eventually, you know, it was so bad that we was gonna quit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Absolutely.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And I was like, well, I was like, we got great chemistry on the mic. So I was like, let's not quit. Like, let's figure it out. So we took the time off, and it just so happened he ended up becoming a father. And I was just like, huh? I said, I wonder, this URL's available. And it was. And I was just like, what do you think about this thing? Like, we was going through Names. And then he was like, that's the one.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And then after that, we pivoted. So it's kind of cool because we're able to track, you know, where we've been through the birth of his son. Because that's literally when it started. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because I came back. So I took, like, three months off of photography, podcasting, and we love to tell people now. Like, I literally told my wife. I'm like, yo, when I get back, I'm just telling Mike this. This is done. Like, I'm done. I'm out.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And so we got a lot to.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

His wife, he did tell me it was done. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And then when we got back, that shit was so bad. And so. But the funny part, when we got back, he was like. His first question on the pie was like, yo, how's life been? And I go, it's so much y'all did not tell me about being a dad. Like, this is crazy. And so we went through that, and then there was. The response was just super cool. And, like, he said he looked up the name. He was like, yo, let's do this every. Every week now. And so now podcast has changed. We talk about parenting sometimes, but it's mostly just shit that black dads, like, love and care about.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Exactly. The stuff that some things.

[A.J. Holiday]

Some things that men talk about. We in the barbershop. So what's some things that black men care about?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Sports.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Women.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Women. But that's low on the list. It's. I think women think we high. High on the list of coming in there talking about women, but that'd be, like, low. Usually you go in a barbershop, you're gonna argue about sports for, like, the whole time you there.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Sports. And then, like, you know how you view things. Right. Like, so men have a lot of life conversations.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Like, I don't think, like, the only time. We probably don't have a life conversation if we're shooting basketball. But, like, if men are just sitting around, it's like, man, let me tell you what I'm dealing with, you know?

[A.J. Holiday]

Really, really.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Men have those conversations. It's just that men don't judge one another. So we'll listen to it, and y'all definitely judge. No, no, we really, really don't. Because it's like, yo, we'll listen.

[Tam Bam]

I feel like y'all need to judge each other, though.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

If a man does not ask for advice, we listen. Yeah, we listen.

[A.J. Holiday]

And we don't.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

There you go. You know, he tells that he's having.

[Tam Bam]

Problems if you have a guy that comes to you and says, like, man, I really don't give a fuck about them kids, man. I don't be over there, man. My baby mama get on my fucking nerves, man. She drive me crazy. I ain't going over there.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That conversation doesn't happen after what college? Sophomore year of college, men separate. Men self segregate from dudes who ain't shit and like, men who gonna be productive. So it's hard to. It's hard to have that kind of conversation with the man unless you're related to him. Because we really don't see one another. We're not in the same place together.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Just not.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We don't even be at the same barbershop.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, we don't.

[A.J. Holiday]

Y'all don't got no futures in y'all circle.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No. I mean, I have a cousin that went kind of ham, but it was like, literally a cousin. And to that point though, like, he and I stopped hanging out like mid-20s. Like, we grew up together. Probably mid-20s. It's just like, man, our lives are heading to two different trajectories. Yeah. Just there's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I love future Free band gang fbg.

[A.J. Holiday]

Living vicariously through future.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Absolutely.

[A.J. Holiday]

Good guy.

[Tam Bam]

So you said that there were things that you nobody told you. What are myths about black fathers that like, that people would believe, but that's not true.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, myths. Oh, I thought you was going to ask something else. Yo, it has to be that we really are active. Like every dad that I know, even the dads who do not spend enough time with their kids. Right. Every dad I know love their kid. I really don't run into people like, yo, f them kids. Like, we'll come together and say, yo, my kid getting on my nerves. I gotta do this. Like, my boy's three, so it's only. But so much nerves he can get on because he's learned, like, one thing. All right? I talk too much. My mom, I grew up, she said I talk too much. All my teachers say that my son does not stop talking.

[A.J. Holiday]

Damn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And so his mom is in Cabo this week. And literally at 6:30, I heard him in there singing. And I was just like, yo, it's go time. Like, he ready. And so like. But I enjoy it. So when he tells me, like, dad, you want me to stop talking? I feel bad.

[A.J. Holiday]

He asked you, ask you if you want. If you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Cause I'll be like, yo, you gotta relax. I can't hear. I can't think, I can't hear. My Thoughts. So I think, you know, I think a lot of people, first of all, I think a lot of people think that we just got kids everywhere and that's just not the case. That's one thing. Like, men just don't have kids all over the place. You do have like that 10%, but that don't represent.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, that's what I was talking about on our recent episode. We talked about how black men like to say that women, Black women are having babies by the 10% of men. So these same men have multiple baby.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Mamas, Multiple fertility partners.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. And so that's the stat. And so it's funny, like, but everybody I know, you know, Mike talked about separating. Like, yo, I only hang around dads. That's like full time fathers. I don't hang around dads who. Not with their kids. Like, it just. And it just. The reason why is because I know it's gonna make you feel bad when you come around and my kid is gonna be right there with me. Like, I got a meeting later. I have to go. And I told you this, I gotta go pick up my kid and I gotta go to a meeting. And he coming with me to that meeting. It's like, but that's just what type of time I'm on.

[Tam Bam]

Is he gonna talk?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Absolutely. And the girl was like, yo, cause I have a meeting with a model. And she was just like, I guess it's gonna be my birth control for this week. I'm like, yeah. Cause he gonna talk your hair. He ready?

[A.J. Holiday]

So, yeah, I had an article that I'm sitting there trying to find.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Uh.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, what's this article? No, the article is actually speaking to what you're saying, that it is a myth that black men aren't present in the kids lives because what they're looking at is the single mom statistic, like the unwed moms. So the black men may not be married, but they are actively in the children's lives more than their, you know, white counterparts or Hispanics.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It's not even close. Yeah, it's not even close. I mean, and we should be married. But I mean, that's a culture issue, right? That's a different conversation of like, why that's not happening. But yeah, men. Men are very active. Like, even when, when I, you know, listen to a lady that say, okay, I'm a single mom.

[A.J. Holiday]

And you'd be like, you're a mom that's single.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You're not a single mom. That kid can go to their father, see their father whenever they want. And a Lot of what goes on, you know, is leverage play. You know, it's like, yo, if you wanted more help, you could ask for more help, right? But if you don't ask for more help, most of the time it's going to be what's court ordered. But you can always, like, you have another parent there. You can always ask for help for another parent. Who else are you supposed to ask for help from?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but sometimes that's not the case. Sometimes I know women who need more help and just can't get more help.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Are they asking?

[A.J. Holiday]

And then I also know women, not personally, but like through the men or through the other women in the relationships having to deal with that woman and how hard she's making it for him to parent. You know what I'm saying? Like, girl, you do not want to be around your kid that much.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Let me ask you a question.

[A.J. Holiday]

Damn child with his daddy.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's what I. And that's what I say. I always tell women, like, yo, send.

[A.J. Holiday]

Him, but his dad get some time.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Get like, you women need that time away from their children. I hate when I don't see it. Like, one of the first things that I noticed, I'm divorced. So one of the first things that I noticed is that once we got our custody order in place is how tired I was when I dropped my kid off. And also when I would pick my kid up, how tired she was, right? So that made sure that I was like, yo, I can't miss a week. You know what I'm saying? I can't be late because she's exhausted. And that's going to play out in how my child is raised. So if you care about your kid, you gotta go get your kid.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that's called empathy, you know, and.

[A.J. Holiday]

People emotional intelligence to actually consider how somebody else is feeling.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, absolutely. But it came from the love for my child, though, right? You know what I'm saying? Like, we was beefing at that time.

[Tam Bam]

So you ain't care how tired she was.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

We were not friends, like, let's be clear, right? But it was like, yo, if she's tired though, right? Like, how is that playing out for my child? You know what I'm saying? So it was like. Cause, you know, we just got finished, so I already know how she is, right? You know, so it was like, yo, let me take that from you. I think a lot of men don't understand that because I think there is this image of this, you know, I'm a strong black woman, right? And I got it. And it's easy to believe that if you've never really had a conversation or if you're not surrounded by women that you care about. Not women that you know. Right. I'm talking about women that you care about. So when they're suffering, you like, man, I wish I could do something, but I can't. Right, but when you can do something, you will see.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so do you think that. I think a lot of. No, do you think. Let me ask. Pose it as a question. I remember seeing this video recently with his guy. He had his. I guess the kid's ma. Grandma dropped the kids off to him, and he's speeding down the highway driving. And the kid. This is a real video. I thought it was fake until the little girl started crying, but she really was. She wasn't showing her face or the dad's face. The phone was, like, just hidden in the car kinda. But then you. She put the phone on her face. You can see she's crying, but he's yelling in the front seat. Like, I told your mom not to drop y'all ass off. I'm dropping y'all back. She was like, but we hungry. We've been with you since 1:00. We haven't ate. He was like, I don't got no money for y'all. Ain't got money for food for me. This is how he's yelling then. No man who can actually provide would ever say that. So it's just. He can't provide and he's blaming the children. He's blaming the mom because he can't figure it out.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's terrible. How many kids was it?

[A.J. Holiday]

Two kids.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Two kids.

[A.J. Holiday]

Two kids.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

All right, So I mean that. One of the things that I've noticed is that a lot of times when I see a complaint about a. Ain't shit, dad. Sorry. We ain't supposed to be cursing.

[Tam Bam]

No, you can curse.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They been cussing.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

All right, Because.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right, but one of the things.

[Tam Bam]

Remember I said pussy and dick?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Okay. That's right, that's right, that's right. See, I'm a guess here. One of the things that I always notice is most of the time it is multiple kids, if not multiple baby mamas. And like, that should be like an automatic red flag to any woman. If you meet a guy, I don't care what he looks like, how much money he has, if he has multiple kids and he's not with his children. Mom. Or if he has multiple. Run baby mamas, like, this is not the man to date.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Run.

[A.J. Holiday]

Earlier I was Saying, is it something subconsciously about a man like that that's appealing to a woman? We don't. It's not in front of our brain.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Y'all gotta tell us.

[Tam Bam]

Not to me.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I don't know.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? As much as I would like a man who doesn't have kids. A lot of men have kids, Right?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Well, but. But I'm saying, like. Like, when. When this a situation where it's a lot, right? Like, if a man has four or five kids, like, bro, why aren't you with one of those women?

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You know what I'm saying? Like, that should be obvious, right?

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, I had a conversation with a man recently. Like, listen, you got to pick a household to be in. You can't have all these life goals. You want a million dollars, you got all these things you want to do. You can't do that when you're spreading yourself so thin in between multiple households. Pick a bitch and do that.

[Tam Bam]

I think men would beg to differ, though. Well, he's doing it successfully.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't think he's happy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He.

[A.J. Holiday]

Probably not, but Nick Cannon is happy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He. He got the money where that. That don't matter for him. That's a big thing, too. Like, a lot of these dudes out here are making multiple families, broken families, and they broke. Like, kids is expensive.

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, my daycare costs more than my mortgage.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And that ain't fun.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's why I'm shooting all the time.

[Tam Bam]

You can't be broke and broken, right?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, you can't. You can't.

[Tam Bam]

You can't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And so it's tough. But, yeah, if you. If you run into a dude and it's like, you know, I always look at women, I say, damn, he is never with his kid. Like, how you dating that?

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm not fucking with somebody who don't ever have their kids.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, a lot of. A lot of things is like, okay, well, I don't want to date a man with a kid because I don't want to compete with this other woman and this other stuff. And it's like, cool. Like, all right, but when you do get with that dude, at least be happy that he's with his kid and he's, you know, cares what's going on over there. But you running into a dude and it's like, he ain't never got his kid. He ain't never FaceTiming his kid. You don't. Kid ain't knowing the story. Like, he a FaceTime dad, like, that should scare you. Like, all right, cool. You know, don't get pregnant.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And I get what. Women don't want to date men with kids. I'm never offended by it. I'm like, yo, I get it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cool.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. Like, kids are a lot. Especially if you're an active father. Yeah, it's a lot.

[A.J. Holiday]

Now I gotta consider. You gotta spend time with your dad. I just want to go outside. You can't take me for a walk sometimes?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Sorry.

[Tam Bam]

That sound like a dog.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. Like, you can't ever take me for a walk because you got these damn kids.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You're gonna meet me at a Discovery place.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, exactly. That's if I introduce you to the kids already.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. Right now?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. So now you're divorced. One child, one son. One son.

[Tam Bam]

How old is he?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Eleven.

[Tam Bam]

Eleven. Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. So who gets to meet the son? Has anybody. How long you been divorced?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I've been divorced probably, I think, like, seven years now. Six or seven years.

[Tam Bam]

He got a lot of aunties? This your auntie Sherry?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Cousins. Yeah. No. No. So this is gonna sound crazy. My son has not met anyone. My son has not met anyone.

[Tam Bam]

No.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. No.

[A.J. Holiday]

So you haven't liked anybody.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

But I haven't been serious. I haven't been serious enough to, like, introduce my son because one of the. I feel that it's important for him to see his father, like, as he grows up, like, if he just sees a revolving door, he's gonna think that's cool. And it's like, I don't want him to think that's cool. You know, I want him to understand that, you know, like, when you get older, you know, be with somebody and to be respectful and mindful of that individual. So I've always made that. Like, when I got divorced, I was like. I didn't want him to see that because, like, his. You know, his father, one day he's gonna go and find all my YouTubes, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Us talking shit.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. And there's gonna be a lot of conversations that he's gonna want to have, and he's gonna realize that, like, at one point in time, his father didn't mind the revolving door. Right. But for the whole time that he saw his father, that didn't happen. And we can have the conversation of, well, why? Why didn't that happen, dad? And it's like, okay, this is.

[Tam Bam]

Why do you think it's important for him also to see you treat a woman well and be a woman?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Absolutely. Which is why he sees me treat his mother well.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Absolutely.

[A.J. Holiday]

Y'all do stuff together still as a.

[Tam Bam]

Family, but do not. What about romantic? Cause I feel like young boys don't understand about romance, and they're not seeing their father be romantic to.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's a great point.

[A.J. Holiday]

Because y'all not together.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

But I mean, even in marriages that are together, sometimes they don't witness that, you know?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And it's funny. Cause I grew up in a household where I saw my dad, like, romantic every day. Like, my dad really took Valentine's Day serious, which is why I was in high school spending money I did not have.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I saw that. And I saw him love my mom. And I saw my parents, like, interact and kiss all the time. You know, the joke is, when we was growing up in church, I used to ask my parents, like, why I ain't never seen my pastor, like, kiss his wife? Or why I ain't never seen nobody else kiss their wife at the church, kissing everybody else. Okay. And so, you know, but it's interesting to see that. And, like, I go home and I seen it.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

So.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That is a great point. But, yeah, I'm with you.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's a solid point. Cause I do want my son to see that. So, you know, it's like, y'all, I'm definitely open to, you know, having that so he can see, you know, his father be romantic with his wife. But I don't want him to see his father being romantic with Brandon.

[A.J. Holiday]

Wendy, I thought that was Aunt Sherry.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. You know, and then she's gone, and now it's somebody else.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It's like, I don't. I don't want him to see that.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

His genetics is gonna be fighting him enough.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right.

[Nissan Voiceover]

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[Tam Bam]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather.

[A.J. Holiday]

Appointed seats are optional features.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Tam Bam]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like, Joe?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often. There's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No.

[Tam Bam]

Have we?

[A.J. Holiday]

No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, not yet.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls, gays and they's to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, will take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[A.J. Holiday]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancer Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless d ckless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm the old one, I'm the young one.

[Kevin Smith]

And every week we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad langu. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless with me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast, right?

[Tam Bam]

That's right. What would you say has been like, one of the greatest challenges being a black father? Just between you and the child, not even the mother, you and the mother. But.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

But I honestly, being too easy on him, like, as a dad, like, not.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not y'all soft parenting out here.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, it's like, you try. This is the thing. You try not to. But I. I. Cuz I was talking to one of my boys, like, not about two months ago, and we was like, man, you know, we grew up different, right? So we're growing up now, and these kids, they can. They can go to any after school activity. They can go to any school activity. They living in the suburbs, right? Like, they're not in black classrooms the way we were in black classrooms, right? And it's like, man, like, are we being too gentle on them, right? Like, are we giving them too much? Like, one of my friends, she just had a baby and she was just like, you know, her kid was acting up. She was like, when the last time you spanked your son? And I was like, believe it or not, I've never spanked my son. I was like, I've never had to. I was like, I take the time to parent him, right? If it takes 30 minutes to get this lesson, I'm gonna take the 30 minutes to give this lesson, right? But sometimes you be like, dang, man, like, this is not how I was raised. So it's like, you know, am I doing enough, right? Like, am I raising a kid that is too soft? It's something that I'm constantly wondering, like, can he take on the world?

[A.J. Holiday]

I just have to surprise him every once in a while.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Just jack him up.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, he know his dad will. But it's like, you do wonder, like, yo, are you gonna be able to take on the world? Especially the way that the world is moving now. It's like, you know, man, have I done you a disservice? And I think for me, that's where.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm like, like, how do you find a balance between.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

How do you find that? You know, so that's where I'm always.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, so we don't have no kids. We was talking about our nieces this morning. Sorry, y'all. And just like, how they might. And I think the. Our generation did the gentle parenting thing because of how we were raised, right? And it is making the kids more soft, like they can't do for themselves. Like, my sister was like, keeping my. My niece's passwords for her, for her email and to like, 25. Like, how you ask your mom for your. Your password.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I. But on the other hand, I think, hey, man, isn't that a blessing to be able to do it though? You know, like, because it's like, yo, again, we didn't. We didn't have it at all. Right. Like, you know.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, but adults, and they're not. They are adults. And I'm not saying they're not capable, functioning adults.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

In some ways, something's missing, right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. It's like by giving them what you didn't have, you're taking away the lessons that you learned.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

So we need to bring back the belt.

[Tam Bam]

Every time I see one of these girls with a couple, they ass hanging out the back.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

We need to bring back the belt. We need to bring back the belt.

[Tam Bam]

I want to whip her ass. Like, put that ass up.

[A.J. Holiday]

I wouldn't hit my kid. I don't think big people should be hitting little people. You know what I'm saying? They just don't know anything.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I reserve the right to, though. I don't think it needs to be against the law.

[A.J. Holiday]

Some people run out, though. Like, when you gonna stop hitting them?

[Tam Bam]

I mean, I think, like, you can shit and hit your child for every little thing, I don't think. I hate when I see parents with a belt while they doing homework, like, standing over a child trying to teach them their homework.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And see, that's trauma.

[Tam Bam]

If Johnny had too. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

How they gonna learn like that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And like, my boy, he three, so it's like, I gotta talk to him. I gotta figure out, you know what I'm saying? But now he's getting to that stages where he be like, oh. Cause I be like, hey, what are you doing? And he knows what he's doing now. But before, it was very much, no. Let's talk. Let's figure out what's going on. Because I remember my whoopings. And mind you, I was active.

[A.J. Holiday]

That mean you didn't get a lot of beatings, if you can remember how many.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, no, I got plenty.

[A.J. Holiday]

But you can remember all of them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Look. No, not all of them, but I put it like this. It was one week. I did not get. I didn't get an ass whooping. My mom took me out one week.

[Tam Bam]

She literally was like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She said I didn't have to whoop Gavin this week. We going out to eat. It was only Wednesday. She was proud that we got, like, there. And it was one of them times. But, you know, I was Never a bad kid. But I was just so active. I wasn't, you know, whatever. And so it's funny now, because you do get older, you do get that kid there, and they look. Look at you in the eyes, and then, you know, they come up and say they love you, and then they want to hug you, and then you just melt, and you be like, all right, bro?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. I think it is generational. And, I mean. And look, I see some of these kids. Some of these kids need. So, like I said, I think I reserve the right to give it, but I don't think every kid needs it. And I think the way y'all are younger than me, but I think definitely my generation, the way we was raised, was like, you did something. You know, what do you always say? What? Spare the rods. Born to the child. Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

But if a child is inherently bad, is beating them gonna make it really better? Like. Cause now it's like, shit, if all I'm gonna get is a beating, let me go ahead and do what the fuck I want and get this ass whooping.

[Tam Bam]

Well, I think it needs to be a combination of things. It shouldn't be just taking stuff away.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. It should be different types of rap.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

For man, you know, in therapy and a bunch of other stuff. You know, the sad part about this is a little bit off topic, but the sad part about being a photographer is I run into so many parents who. Kids are on the spectrum and they don't know it yet.

[A.J. Holiday]

There's a lot of grown men on the spec.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. And a lot of times when your kid is acting out and they behave in certain ways, you might need to go take them to the doctor.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And figure out why. Like, so it's sad when I'm doing a photo shoot and they're just like, oh, my kid don't talk. And I'm like, all right, cool. You know, I don't care. I'm there to work. And then, you know, I look. And then as you keep doing this, you'd be like, oh, there's a pattern here for different parents. And then some parents know, and then the parents that don't know, you just wish that they did know, you know, so.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Check on your kids.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I. I've seen some people that was, you know, like that growing up. They turned out all right. I mean, they turned out all right.

[Tam Bam]

First of all, autistic people are the best, happiest people on the planet. And I think we're all on the spectrum. The spectrum is a dimmer. It's not absolutely.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Spectrum.

[Tam Bam]

We're all on it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I'll be acting out.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, sometimes I'm definitely on the spectrum a little bit. But some people, it can actually be diagnosed with some. Because I see people who I was in high school with on social media and they got wives. Remember that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They got plenty.

[A.J. Holiday]

You remember that video? The guy was scamming people for appliances, Remember? Oh, yeah, that's one of my classmates said, what's up? Nigga called.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

This man should have called me out, yo.

[A.J. Holiday]

He was like, viral on the Internet.

[Tam Bam]

Like, fixing people stuff, but he not.

[A.J. Holiday]

Fixing it for real. Scamming people around Charlotte Charleston. And I. I forgot where he live at now. What's up, nigga? But that nigga's on the spectrum. We always knew that growing up. So now you a grown person with a. With kids and a wife, and don't nobody know your past. Well, you just told them we gonna.

[Tam Bam]

Believe in being a hoe in high school.

[A.J. Holiday]

Who the hell was in the little bus?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

There's no way that that girl got with him and didn't think he wasn't special, y'all.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, I mean, he figured out a way to make money and not fix people's. So he can't be that slow. You see what I'm saying?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Exactly.

[A.J. Holiday]

Big ass truck, like, he making money.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You got a dually. Yeah, yeah. He got a big brain. That boy ain't stupid.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He played y'all.

[A.J. Holiday]

Confusing it wrong.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, he played y'all.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

He ain't stupid at all.

[A.J. Holiday]

Men be worrying about the wrong. Like, who the hell was in that class with four students? That's what I want to know. How many students? That's something you need to ask on the first date. How many people was in your class in high school?

[Tam Bam]

No. Cause I was you in the class. No, I was in a slow class once, but let me tell y'all why.

[A.J. Holiday]

I knew it. I knew it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You started a pot with her.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, you have friends and family.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's a story Now.

[Tam Bam]

I need to explain. Please, I need to explain. We're not gonna just leave that right there right now.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

So my co host will definitely come.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna make it a quick slow. Either. Shut the fuck up. Just a quick story. All right, so I took. I was in AAP math, which is advanced for those of you that don't know. So I took freshman math in middle school. And I failed it. Right. I took it in the ninth grade. I failed it again. They put me in geometry in the. So it would be like four by Four. So you could take, like, a full semester of classes in the beginning of the year and then a full semester. So they put me in geometry and I passed it. Then they put me in, like, what comes after that? Trigonometry or something like that. So they put me in all the maths. By the time it was time for me to graduate, like, my junior year, they were looking at what I needed. And I had never gotten the Algebra 1 credit. So now they were like, what? How? Where can we.

[A.J. Holiday]

I know the Algebra one, bitch.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, where can I put you to make sure we have everything you need to graduate? And the only math class that would have counted as my freshman math was this remedial math class. So I was in it, and, baby.

[A.J. Holiday]

We was in there drawing our hands.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Get out of here.

[A.J. Holiday]

We ate a turkey in that one.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Stop. Oh, my gosh.

[Tam Bam]

As a senior, baby, I'm telling you, we was in there with blocks. And I would be so embarrassed to go in that class, y'all. Cause I could do. Like, I could do math. Well, you know, I had passed all.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

These other algebra 2.

[Tam Bam]

I would dive in that bitch when the bell rang. Dive.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yo, so nobody see me going back to cousins in just so class, man, like, nigga, we see y'all. Like, why y'all running to the bus with y'all book bag on your face.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Like you my cousin?

[A.J. Holiday]

I know your hand, nigga.

[Tam Bam]

Take my turkey off the wall.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That is crazy.

[Tam Bam]

Take my turkey down. Put your turkey up.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, they put your grown senior ass turkey up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y'all ain't taking no group picture.

[Tam Bam]

No. So what end up happening?

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what you gonna come out with?

[Tam Bam]

So what ended up happening is the work was so easy that I would do it so fast. And then I would disrupt the rest of the class. Like, I'd be putting makeup. I would start doing makeup on girls. Like, oh, fix your hair on the kids who really needed to be doing the work. So the teacher just like, look, you can't be a part of the class. Cause you're disrupting. So they just gave me a big packet of work to do and just turn it in. And that would be my math grade.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So they separated you in the class?

[Tam Bam]

They did separate me.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You know, real talk. That's what we going on in private schools. I ain't mad at it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, they cook the books.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, that's what we going on. They cook the books. I'm not mad at it at all. The private schools don't be teaching anything.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, they cook the books.

[Tam Bam]

So that Was my class experience.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, you was in private school. Just say that. Just go with that.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Just go. Yeah, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

All right. Tell us your proudest moment so far as a father.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, my gosh. My kid, I think he won. I think he definitely didn't win president. He won vice president of his daycare class.

[Tam Bam]

The three year old.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh, your kid is popular.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We go into daycare, everybody hugging him.

[A.J. Holiday]

When he come in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he don't know. Like, two of the other girls in his class, they're twins, they're his cousins, so they be coming up hugging him, and he be making sure nobody don't mess with them and everything. But, yeah, probably that. And probably, you know, one time I said, I love you, and he's like, I love you too much. And he just walked off. And it was funny, but it was cute.

[A.J. Holiday]

Was he trying to tell you you love him too much?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, he said. And I don't know what he was trying to say, but other than that, yeah. My kid, you know, I'm. Bring him in here one day.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, bring him in here.

[Tam Bam]

Cause he talked bad.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

What about you?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I mean, I don't know, like, recently. I mean, my kid, I'm constantly, like, just amazed at the little human that he's becoming. So, like, this is his fifth grade year, so, you know, he's like a senior in elementary school. So I think just watching him be, like, cool. Like, he gets out the car, cool. Now, like, the way he walks, you know, I'd be messing with him. I'd be like, lay son, you know, he'd be like, man, come on, chill out. Yeah, chill out, man. So just. I think just seeing him mature into a little man. We were. Now, I will say this, we were at camp. This is gonna be like my second Bible reference, I promise you. I'm not a real pastor, but we were in a. We. We in there with all the kids in the cabin. And like, my son was like, the only one of the night was like, all right, I'm going to bed. Y'all can stay up and play. I'm going to sleep. And then it. It was. It was funny because we had this Muslim parent there with his son. And like, my son, he getting in bed and he starts saying his prayers, right? And it was like. They're like, hey, what are you doing? You know, he's like, are you reading? And I was like, no, he's praying, like, you. You need to hush. So I like just seeing him being willing to do that no matter who's Around. I was like, okay, right, Little dude legit.

[Tam Bam]

So that's definitely a problem.

[A.J. Holiday]

You got a girlfriend talking about girls.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You know what's funny?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't know what yet.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

So I was at. I was at camp, and my son is clueless to this little girl that likes him. Like, it was so funny to watch. She likes. She likes him so much, and he is clueless. Like, I had to act like. I was like, hey, who is that? And he was like, who? I was like, you know, little such and such. You know, they had ran up here, and he was just like, oh, that's somebody in my class. I was like, okay. I was like, do y'all talk? And he was just like, no. I mean, not really. I was just like, okay. So I. I was like, I'm leaving alone. Like, I'm not. I'm not gonna pressure him. But it's so obvious. Like, she. She pops up. She wasn't in our group. I kept seeing her, you know, and I was just like, hey. I was like, son, just say hi. When she comes up to you, just say hi. Just say her name. Just say hi. That's all the game I gave him. Like, I do not want him to be after girls, but, no, not yet. He's not into. Like. He's not into understanding the dynamics of that at the moment. She is, though.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, she is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's gonna come about sixth to seventh grade.

[A.J. Holiday]

So, Gavin, you said, like, nobody told you, so what's some things that you wish you would have known three years ago before you had this baby?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, that first four months is hell. That is just. Mike told me to get a rocking chair. That's the only advice he gave me. Now, mind you, I've been knowing. Mike has known me my whole life. The only advice he gave me is, get you a rocking chair. And I'm like, for what, y'all? I needed that. I needed that. That first four months. And, you know, my wife went through P.O. postpartum, like, bad, right? And so I didn't know nothing about that. Like, my dad didn't sit me down. I'm very close to my father. I want y'all to think he. He ain't here. He ain't out here. But even that. And you know, that time, I'm thinking 35 years ago, I don't know, like, what postpartum looked like for those men and who had to deal with that? So that. Just coaching, like, being there for my wife, understanding that. I don't know, postpartum was, like, really tough you know what I'm saying? You know, it was funny enough. So my wife is Puerto Rican. And I have to stress that because all the black women used to come up there and be like, oh, you breastfeeding? You know, that's women's way of, like, shading each other. Like, y'all be judging each other and shit. And so it's like, oh, are you breastfeeding? We don't know.

[A.J. Holiday]

We ain't got no.

[Tam Bam]

We ain't got no titties.

[A.J. Holiday]

I mean, babies hanging off the titties.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And so when women be like, no. Like, black women just roll their eyes and run off. But so that was our thing. We knew she knew she was breastfeeding, right? So it was like, I was glad. Cause I'm like, please answer this question. Question correctly. Right? And we get there, and then she couldn't feed past, like, six weeks. And so she got, like, depressed, and she was going through it. And it was one of them things where it was like, yo, I gotta sit down and really focus on my wife, because if she's not okay, then my baby's not okay. I don't want to go and do a photo shoot and wonder if my kid is okay. You know what I'm saying? So I wish somebody would have maybe sat me down and be like, yo, like, get ready for this. This could happen. Like, just be. Be patient. Like, take shifts.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think Mike told me that once I came, he saw me, and I was just tired as hell. Mike was like, oh, y'all gotta take shifts. Like, whatever video game you wanna play. Like, start it over. No, start over. You're just gonna be up?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. You're gonna be up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. I think I started watching the Wire, you know, again. And so. And then by that time, my kid was older. When I say older, he was like, a year. So me and him started watching the Wire again. You know what I'm saying? So it's one of those things, like, just be prepared and watch out to your girl. Like, if you don't like your girl, don't give her a kid. I stress that real. I stress that a lot. If you don't like her, do not give her a child.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Because liking is even, you know, more important than loving.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Because when shit gets real, like, you got to take care of her and your baby. And so, like I tell everybody now, my wife's job matters the most in our household because I'm an entrepreneur. So whenever she has to do something, like, my schedule has to adapt to that. So, like, I said, she in Cabo. So, yo, my working hours change because who gonna watch my kid? Me. So, yeah, if you don't like your girl, don't give her a kid. Please don't.

[Tam Bam]

That's the best advice.

[A.J. Holiday]

So as a. As a. Well, a dad that's single divorcee, what do you think about stepdads?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, gosh.

[A.J. Holiday]

What's the comedian that was recently on the Breakfast Club, and basically he said, if.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh, that was T.K.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. The woman ain't acting right. Just go make another family. That's one thing he said. Just go have another baby.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I think he said, don't raise anybody else.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, he did say, basically, like, stepdaddies is Here we go, Ultimate Simps or something.

[Tam Bam]

I disagree.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I do, too. But, I mean, what do you think?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

So it's a lot. It's layered. It's a layered onion there. So I don't think there's anything wrong with dating a woman that has a child. Right. But one of the things that I always stress, and any guy who knows me knows that I say this. One of my boys married a young lady that had a kid. And he and I would have conversations, and I'd be like, hey, that's not your child. That's his child. You need to reach out to him. Like, don't go off of what she say. Reach out to that man. Cause the dude was active. I was like, she's gonna cause friction between you and him. And low key. That's what she wants. Because if she didn't want that, she wouldn't cause the friction. So he and I. I mean, I'm talking. We've had some, like, real conversations about, that ain't your kid, bro. Now, the kid is older now, and when he's. When he speaks of having children, he says, you know, I got three kids. And he's including that child. Right? But that was after he really understood that, like, yo, I gotta include this other man in decisions regarding his child. And that did not come from his wife. He married the lady that wasn't coming from her. If he was.

[A.J. Holiday]

If he would have followed, he was ready to discard.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

She was ready to just discard the dude that, you know, created that life form in front of him. Yeah. And I was like. I was like, bro, don't do that. I was like, it's your job to reach out to the man. So anytime we have these conversations around stepdad and I see that the two men aren't conversating, I don't like it just being. Just being Frank. Because now we're going through the woman. Why are we going through her? We're two grown men. Why are we going through her about anything?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Fbg.

[Tam Bam]

But it's a lot of egos involved in that. I'm like, I don't want to talk to that dude.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

There should be no. There should be no man. If I marry a woman with a child, that man should not be calling my wife. True. If I marry one with a child, that man should not be calling my wife. He should be calling. He should be calling me. He should be calling me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It should happen that way. But it's never gonna happen that way.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It's never gonna happen that way. He should not be calling. That is my wife.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but it's never gonna happen that way.

[Tam Bam]

But they got kids together.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. And that's the problem with stepdad is because they have children together, and there's a bond there, and it's like, yo, you have to reshape that.

[A.J. Holiday]

But what if everybody got along? They have a good relationship. Y'all have a good relationship.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Well, you better hope it's not too good.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, my God.

[Tam Bam]

That's filled with ego.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's not filled with ego.

[Tam Bam]

What you calling my wife for?

[A.J. Holiday]

Sagittarius?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, I'm a Capricorn.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, Capricorn.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

So I'm practical, and I look at things with practicality. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I mean, because if I have a healthy relationship, if I have a child like you. Yeah. Your kid's mom.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

If she got it with a man. If she got. If she was remarried. I'll talk to the dude.

[A.J. Holiday]

You wouldn't talk to her no more. Do y'all talk now?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, we do. We talk now. We talk. We talk often.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what I'm saying.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

But I'm saying. But if she was.

[A.J. Holiday]

Remember, cut that off. If she get married.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

If she. That's his wife now. That's his wife. If it was an emergency, sure. But, like, the casual conversations. No. If I need to come grab my kid, I'd be like, hey, I'm coming over. I am gonna tell the man I am coming to his house before I pop up at his house, because no telling what's going on between him and his wife. As someone that's been married, there's no telling what's going on between him and his wife. So, yes, I am going to reach out to the husband.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that's a respect factor. I get that.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. Then why wouldn't we have that then if we stepdad, why wouldn't we have Respect for the child's father and the husband. Right. Cause most of the time, the ladies aren't going to encourage that. That is up to the men. So, yes, I'm very hard on guys. If you're going to marry a woman that have a child, you need to find that child's father. I don't care what she told you. I don't care what she said. He ain't exist. He in jail. He dead. Go to the cemetery. Make sure he's dead.

[A.J. Holiday]

Make sure I tell women, if y'all. If he not active, just tell people. Why are you getting this new man?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm like, make sure he's dead.

[A.J. Holiday]

Everything going well, and you going to say, oh, you just got this random baby daddy.

[Tam Bam]

Her advice that he's dead.

[A.J. Holiday]

A while ago.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Make sure that's why I'm staying married.

[Tam Bam]

What are your tips for young fathers?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Woo. 1. First thing Gavin said, make sure you put a baby in a woman you like. Make sure you just don't like the sex, because that's where babies come from.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Marry her.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's part of the problem. Like, if you don't want to marry a woman, don't have children with that woman. It's too hard. It's too hard to prepare for two homes. And I do it. I won't even say I'm doing it successfully, like, with tread and water, you know what I'm saying? It's way better to be in the home together. There's so many times where I'm like, so much better if I was married. Not even so much like, married to her, just in general. Like, yo, just be so much better if there was two people here. So that's the first thing. Make sure you like the woman. You know, make sure you want to marry her before you ever get. Don't have babies out of wedlock. That's the worst way to destroy any future wealth that you'll ever make.

[Tam Bam]

Absolutely.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It's having. It's having a baby out of wedlock. So that's always the first advice I have to young men. And then the second thing is everything that Gavin said, no one really tells. No one is really honest with us. How hormonal women are. Like, just in general.

[A.J. Holiday]

Are men not hormonal?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Not like the way that women are hormonal? No, we're not. Not the way, like, as we get older, our testosterone actually starts waning. We actually become more peaceful to deal with as we get older. So. But no one's really honest with us about when she have a baby. Like, yo, it ain't even you, bruh. At. It has zero percent to do with you. It has zero. Because it's hard not to take it personal when it's coming at you. Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No one really explains that to men. I think we all hope that people have great pregnancies and she doesn't experience it, but there's too many conversations amongst men where we're like, man, all right, this was wild. You know what I'm saying? Like this. Everything almost fell apart during this time frame right here.

[Tam Bam]

But you can't imagine how many changes a woman's body goes through when she has a child.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I agree. That's what I'm saying. Men need to have the conversation. Like, we not. We don't really have these conversations of, like, yo, you know, this is everything that was going on in my house.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's the problem that men have.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's like. Like I tell everybody, when you get married, start hanging out with married people.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, seriously, that don't mean cut off your single friends. You know, it's funny. I have a dude, and we're not as close anymore. But I remember he used to always say, like, yo, when my friends get married, I kind of just put space between us. And it was like, weird to hear him say that. Cause I was like, damn, I'm about to get married.

[A.J. Holiday]

He was my friend.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. And that's what. Exactly what happened. But now I'm like, all right, cool. It's cool with me. My life is better now. But I hang around people that mean Mike is probably the only person I hang around that ain't married. You know what I'm saying? But Mike don't.

[A.J. Holiday]

But he probably still a little bit of marriage mind.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, no, it's a lot like, Mike is way more mature. So it's like, you know, I'm old. Yeah. So when I'm hanging out with other people, and Mike has known me forever, so he knows what I'm into, what I'm not into, where I want to go, where I'm not going to go. But that part. And then when you have kids, start hanging around more fathers. Like, that is shape. Because when we get around, like, I told Mike this story yesterday, like, I put some money in the bank. I sent my wife to Costco for some trash bags. She came back with four bottles of wine and four bottles of champagne in the trash bags. And I'm like, sis, I didn't give.

[Nissan Voiceover]

You money for this.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, what? What are you doing? Use Your car for this shit, right? And then I told her that the trash bags was for my dad. My dad still doesn't have them trash bags. She forgot to give them to him. Like, but, you know, if I'm telling.

[Tam Bam]

My single daddy in there with the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Trash just piling up, and I'm like, yo. And then, you know, her joke was, oh, I'm gonna give you the money back for it. Y'all think I'm getting that money back?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, you ain't gonna.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That shit is gone. And so if I'm telling people that's not married that, or who don't have kids, that they're just like, they gonna come down on my wife and think, whatever. But people that are with women, people that are. Have kids, they're just gonna be like, hey, man, like, what? Mike said, that's what women do.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's what women do. After I laugh after he left. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And it's like, I wasn't even mad about it. It was just. I was just expressing something. So it's like that my boy just got married. My boy Ryan just got married. What, three weeks ago?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, about two weeks ago.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I asked him last week, I'm like, how's it going? It's been two weeks.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Weeks.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because she get real. When you get. You say, I do change everything, though.

[A.J. Holiday]

Why is that? Why do you think that is?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because, like, all right, now we really got skin in the game. And it's like, some people do let their guard down. Well, not even some people. Everybody does. Like, you know, the hardest thing for me and my wife was, is when she moved in the house with me. And she moved in the house with me maybe six, seven months before we got married. That would have happened the day we got married. And I ain't saying shack up. That would have happened the day we got married. We would have. We wouldn't have made it or if we wasn't engaged.

[A.J. Holiday]

But that's why I believe in living together first.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I've changed my stance on that. Yeah, but just don't. Don't get her pregnant, bro.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you're not married, but it's hard to do that when you're living in the same house. It's right next to you.

[A.J. Holiday]

Watch the ovulation. If a woman doesn't want to get pregnant, she don't have to. Damn, my days.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Put that. They're going to kick your back in your ass.

[Tam Bam]

A lot of us are here from the pull out method. There are about at least two of us sitting on this couch. It's here. Cause somebody didn't.

[A.J. Holiday]

I know.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Cause they didn't pull out. They should have pulled out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And it's tough, like. But me and my wife, we wouldn't have made it. We got no look. When. The day she moved in, I was fussing at her mom, I was fussing at her. I'm like. And then probably two weeks later, we had to, like, have a sit down because we was like, yo, we might not make it to the wedding day. And it was a lot of me. It was a. I would say change. Yeah. Because she came to my house. Yeah. And I had to. I had to say, this ain't my house no more. This is her house. This is our home. Like, it's cool. Cool. You bought it. Your name on everything. You. Nah, not anymore. If you want to be happy.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, you got to communicate. A lot of people don't communicate. But going back to what Mike said, like, we got to teach men that, hey, women are this way, and it's okay. Like, you're not going through something that's just so. That ain't never happened before.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It feel like it's just you when you're going through it. Like, nobody else has dealt with this, is dealing with this. And it's like, that's not the case because.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I ain't trying to be funny, but, like, it ain't like the single moms is, like, sitting their sons down and say, hey, this is how women are.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, they act like they do our women.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, and maybe that's another episode. What time?

[Tam Bam]

We ain't got enough time for that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Because I. I just want to know. And then most men that love women.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. Most men that love women, we think that y'all are angels.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Facts.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And when we find out that y'all are not, that is earth shattering for us.

[A.J. Holiday]

In what way? Like what? Like doing something bad or not cleaning up?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, no, no, no. Just in general. Just, like, we really see y'all as angelic beings, and y'all are not.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't think my man see me like that.

[Tam Bam]

No. Cause when you being all nasty, ain't no way you angelic when you don't. No, no.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Y'all still our babies. You just a nasty baby. He's still our baby. You just nasty.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But as a dude in college, like, yo, when the first time you found out your girl was sleeping with everybody, that should be hurtful.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You be like, the first time a man. Yeah. Experience the nature of a woman.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

First time I go to college.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not the nature of A woman.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm in college. My girl come to my room. And then my roommate started laughing. I'm like, what the fuck? He was like, yo, she jumped from floor to floor. Like, she got.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And I was just.

[Tam Bam]

Your girl?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, it was my girl. She ain't my girl no more.

[Tam Bam]

He said her girl was to pass around.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She was teaching.

[A.J. Holiday]

Was good, though, isn't it? Yeah.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's how they get there.

[Tam Bam]

That's how they get there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I ain't teach her.

[Tam Bam]

Everybody taking this turn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I ain't know what I was doing. She was showing me what the.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Everybody taking a turn.

[A.J. Holiday]

Damn it.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Dudes be waiting. They turn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. So men be like, oh, women, they good. Nah. Then you find out your girl.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know.

[A.J. Holiday]

Is that the worst part, though? Just finding out that she's experienced?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Well, no, no, no. Not just experience, but it is also. It's like, you know the attitudes, right, that. That you have to deal with.

[A.J. Holiday]

Do men not. Do you not ever have attitudes?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

The poking the problem.

[A.J. Holiday]

Ever said that men.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Men don't have this aura of not having attitudes. Men don't have this aura of not being over the top. That's men's aura. Right. Like, it's different for men. When you find out a man is sweet and kind and caring, you'd be like, oh, damn. Like, I didn't know he was disromantic, you know? But for women, it's the opposite. We think y'all are, and then when y'all not, that's what kind of knocks us out. Like, whoa.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And it's just a shock.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It's just a shock. We. Look, we still love women. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

We human. That's what y'all be forgetting.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. Because we think y'all are angels.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what I am, though. I am definitely from God.

[Tam Bam]

I'm reciprocating all energy, so whatever.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

See?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

See, you said your man was gonna shoot.

[A.J. Holiday]

I did not say I would have any man come and shoot you in particular, y'all. What I did say is I like that. And knock all this over if need be. That's what I.

[Nissan Voiceover]

The first two years of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your real cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt. Your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let the sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus with the 64 color personalized light option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill or in a straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.

[Tam Bam]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather.

[A.J. Holiday]

Appointed seats are optional features.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Tam Bam]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like, Joe?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often. There's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No.

[Tam Bam]

Have we? No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, not yet.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls gays and they's to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently cancelled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[A.J. Holiday]

Where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless d ckless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast. Beardless me. I'm the old one.

[Tam Bam]

I'm the Young one.

[Kevin Smith]

And every week, we try to make each other laugh hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? Lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless with me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Boy.

[Kevin Smith]

There's no real easy way to say.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

This, but look, you're a sick.

[Tam Bam]

All right? We have a segment on our show this is gonna close us out, called SIMP Series.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Simp series.

[Tam Bam]

And you gotta share a time that you got played by the. Well, I feel like you already done one.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

So you can tell us a story about when you got played by the opposite sex.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh, man. When I got played by the opposite sex.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, why? He's thinking about it.

[Tam Bam]

You got another.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Plenty.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm trying to pick up a story that I could tell. Yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So we at. We doing something we at. At church. Sorry. And so we there, and we leaving, right? So everybody's like, yo, we going here to eat at a restaurant. We going to chill. And so I'm like, all right, bet. So we go in there. Everybody's sitting down. And so my shorty is like, yo, I'll be right back. I gotta go pee.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Cool.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let her out. We all laughing. I'm looking down. I'm like, Damn, it's been 5 minutes, 10 minutes. And where we was eating at? I'm like, this ain't the place you at.

[A.J. Holiday]

Go to Corral.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, it was down there. I was like, you shouldn't here. And then I'm looking, and then, well.

[Tam Bam]

First of all, go to Corral. It's gonna make you shit there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And so my boy is, like, looking down, and I'm like, the energy just changed. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And my boy just looks down. And then. So I'm like, whatever. Like, cool. And so shorty comes back. It's been like 20, 30 minutes. I'm like, you good? You throwing up some shit? She was like, nah, I'm good. I'm good. And shorty, like, sister just starts crying at the table. So I'm like, what the the is going on? Did I miss something? You know how Mike said his. His. His son don't know that some girl like, I don't be seeing? And so I'm like, whatever. So all the girls get up from the table and leave, and my boy look at me. He go, yo, she been in the car with her for like the last 30 minutes. And I was like. I said, yo, yo, I gotta go home. I just gotta go. We ain't talked since, but it's cool.

[A.J. Holiday]

So she was up.

[Tam Bam]

So you paid for her dinner?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I actually did. You know what I'm saying? That's some. I don't know if that's a simp ship.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I mean, he was already. It was already halfway in it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Then I joined Free Band Game Shout out to Future.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I see y'all best simp story. Not the best. The girl that I dated that I thought that I would have married. So I was in my 20s. Her dad and mom was going through a divorce. So, like, dad basically stopped paying her car. Her car got repossessed. So I actually, like. We went and got a car and I co. Signed on the car for her.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, good, man.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, we broke, you know that simp shit. And we. We broke up probably, I don't know, maybe a year later. And guess what? She let the car do repossess. Get repossessed.

[A.J. Holiday]

Damn.

[Tam Bam]

Damn. So up your credit.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, yeah. So I was. I was in my young twenties at that time. And you know when I tell you like that that created a lot of rules from that point forward.

[Tam Bam]

Boundaries.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Tam Bam]

Girl, you it up for the rest of us who needed a car. Exactly.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The lessons you learned after this situation.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, yeah. But I tell you that he didn't.

[Tam Bam]

Take another bitch to go to corral again after that.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Created a lot of. So. But I mean, I'm not. Wasn't mad at it then, not mad at it now, but that was probably. That's probably like the stupidest thing.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

So.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, that was a good one.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I got another couple married, though. It was a guy and she was like, oh, it was my best friend, you know, whatever, you know, like, we weren't dating. Like, we. She was just. She was in Atlanta. I used to be in Atlanta all the time. So I ended up like, just crashing another place. And her quote, unquote best friend, like, really didn't like, he. I don't think he liked her because she was experienced and he wasn't. He knew all. He knew all the stories. I knew a lot of them. I knew he knew all of them. So. So because he and I was friends before we started kicking it and like, long story short, like, they end up having, like, a family event and he was there or whatever. So he sees me there with, you know, the young lady and, you know, like, I'm a lover man. Like, I'm a lover boy, right? So I'm like, you know, taking care of her, kicking it with the family, all this stuff. Now he's seething. I mean, just see that. And I'm just like, yo. So I walk up. So I'm like, yo, what's up with your boy? You know, he good. She was like, no, no, he was good. So the next day, we were supposed to. I already knew what time it was next day. Like, they were supposed to have, like, family breakfast. And she was like, are you going? And I was like. I was like, nah. I was like, I want you and your friend to have a good time. So I was like, I'm gonna stay here. I was like, he's not gonna enjoy me being there. But long story short, they end up getting married. I could tell that, like. Cause she and I were just fun. It was just a situationship. But I could tell, like, when he saw somebody else taking care of it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He was like, yeah, she putting that whop on him. Yeah.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

He was like, man, nah, I need. And they are married now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now shout out to them.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. So thank you for letting me date your girlfriend.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, appreciate that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Close us out.

[Tam Bam]

All right, listen, tell everybody where they can find your show. Plug all your things.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, first of all, thank y'all.

[A.J. Holiday]

Thank y'all.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Thank y'all.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Thank y'all so much. It took two years, but thank y'all. We had to earn it. I respect that. But no, look up blackdads.com. excuse me? Blackdadspodcast.

[A.J. Holiday]

Y'all own black Dads. Black Daddy Club. Black Dads Club.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Playing with y'all.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. Black dad.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What you think we doing around here?

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. Nice.

[Tam Bam]

Period. Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y'all gonna come on the show?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, we love to.

[A.J. Holiday]

I feel like y'all need to expand that more than just the podcast. Like, y'all need to be doing little golfing trips, all type of little cute shit with the black dads.

[Tam Bam]

Y'all get it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, we get so many women who are just like, y'all don't want people with kids, but we get so many women. It's like, yo, you just have.

[A.J. Holiday]

Y'all could do it like a single single.

[Tam Bam]

I'm ready to be a step mama.

[A.J. Holiday]

Single daddy, no babies, convention.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Well, y'all get the ladies there. We'll get the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, we can combine on this.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, y'all gotta get the ladies there. We'll get the bab. All right, all right. But, yeah, Black dads Club put you on Instagram, man. Oh.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I am Gavin B. Follow me if you need some pictures. Y'all want some pictures?

[Tam Bam]

Yes, we need some pictures.

[A.J. Holiday]

Did you bring your camera?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah. I'm Pastor Mike will@pastormike. Will. Anywhere you can find me with blackdadsclub.com.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Hey, we appreciate y'all. Okay.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, this was a great time. I appreciate y'all having us on. This was great. I like you.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right, y'all, so if you enjoyed this episode and these fabulous black men who take kids, they probably got excess money and all type of shit going on.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

We got kids. We do not have have any appropriate money.

[A.J. Holiday]

Now he gonna be acting for doing.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, definitely gonna hear that black dance club is broke. Black dad dollar sign.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Black dad club.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's another domain. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Where you get that?

[A.J. Holiday]

That might be a 501. Yes. That's a nonprofit.

[Tam Bam]

Broke Black dads club.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, nonprofit. Okay. You see how this brain work? All right, y'all enjoyed this episode, y'all. Tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect iHeartRadio app, or wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 speaking.

[Tam Bam]

Tam, y'all. I love y'all so much. Thank you for tuning in. It's Tam. Bam. Follow me on Instagram. Remember, speak now and never. Oh, and always hold your children.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

What?

[Tam Bam]

Always hold your kids.

[A.J. Holiday]

Always hold your kids.

[Tam Bam]

Deuces.

[A.J. Holiday]

Unless you're a stepdaddy.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh, my gosh.

[A.J. Holiday]

For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell, and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently cancelled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless d Ckless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast Beardless Me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm the old one, I'm the young one.

[Kevin Smith]

And every week we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? Lot of cussing, listen. A lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Ow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Go slower. From Blumhouse TV, iHeart podcasts and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst to see un unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi and what's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, Obviously. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Bob Pittman, chairman and CEO of iHeartMedia. I'm excited to introduce a brand new season of my podcast Math and Stories from the Frontiers of Market Marketing. I'm having conversations with some folks across a wide range of industries to hear how they reach the top of their fields and the lessons they learned along the way that everyone can use. I'll be joined by innovative leaders like.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Chairman and CEO of Elf Beauty Tarang.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Amin, legendary singer, songwriter and philanthropist Jewel.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Being a rock star is very fun.

[Tam Bam]

But helping people is way more fun.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And Damian Maldonado, CEO of American Financing.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I figured out the formula. I have to work hard.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Then that's magic. Join me as we uncover innovations in data and analytics, the math and the ever important creative spark, the magic. Listen to math and Magic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast.