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Tam Bam
This is an iHeart podcast.
State Farm Announcer
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A.J. Holiday
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Tam Bam
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A.J. Holiday
93 mums offer in store only.
Tam Bam
Selection varies by location while supplies last.
A.J. Holiday
More terms and restrictions apply.
Carlos Miller
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Samsung Announcer
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A.J. Holiday
Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.
Tam Bam
We're just two unapologetically black with an opinion who talks back.
A.J. Holiday
What's up, y'?
Tam Bam
All?
A.J. Holiday
It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam, y'?
Tam Bam
All. It's official. Tam Bam. I love y' all so, so, so very much. How you doing, girl?
A.J. Holiday
I am doing okay. It is today. Look, I won't say what day it is. It is today, and I am awake. I went to the gym this morning. Musty per usual.
Tam Bam
About to say what's new, girl.
A.J. Holiday
I'm gonna take a shower as soon as we done, but, yeah, I'm good today. Chile.
Tam Bam
I. I went to New York over the weekend, and I got my stuff, so I'm no longer a New Yorker. A good. Had a good, what, seven, eight month run.
A.J. Holiday
You out of there?
Tam Bam
Yeah, I'm out of there.
A.J. Holiday
Your stuff smell like New York?
Tam Bam
Yeah, I guess.
A.J. Holiday
You know, you go to your grandmama house. Grandma house got a smell to it. That's how New York smell. Like. Like just, oh, old mothball. And that's how a lot of those.
Tam Bam
Football cleats, they do have that old smell to it. I like it, though.
A.J. Holiday
Mold.
Tam Bam
Yeah. So now I'm trying to figure out where to next. You know, just being like a gypsy. Yeah, gypsy. And trying to find where I feel most at home. But I think it's in the south, so we'll see where that lands me. Maybe Atlanta. I don't know. I know.
A.J. Holiday
Atlanta got some shit going on. My energy be too drained when I go to Atlanta.
Tam Bam
You don't like Atlanta? Where you like Charleston?
A.J. Holiday
I don't really. I mean, that's why I moved back home, because there's really no place in Atlanta, in America. Like, I want to live at. Like, I feel like my next move is going to be out this goddamn country.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
A.J. Holiday
Okay. I'm ready to get the fuck out of here, so. Ain't really no place. I mean, as long as you got an airport, you can get to where you want to go at. So it really doesn't matter where you live at. The only other thing I consider is, like, cost of living, business, taxes. Like, where is that the cheapest at? Do I want to move to Houston? I would like to move to Texas. Texas might be all right.
Tam Bam
I like Texas. I like Houston.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, I Like, and Dallas, but it just whatever at this point. And my. My weekend was very chill, relaxed. Sunday finally wasn't raining, and then I just still stayed in the house all day on Sunday hibernating. So, yeah, I ain't do much this weekend. T.J. maxx, Marshalls.
Tam Bam
Oh, I. Y', all, I got to meet Taylor's baby. Oh. Oh, my God.
A.J. Holiday
I know. He gorgeous.
Tam Bam
He is so gorgeous. He looked like a doll. It took everything for me not to punch them in their face and run out with their child. Like, I just wanted to steal that baby so bad. Oh, like, oh. Like, I don't even really. Like, I love babies and all that, but holding this baby made me want a baby. Like, and I was like, oh, my God. Like, I don't. I typically don't feel like that. I'd be like, oh, cute baby. I love this baby. Give it back. But I did not want to give their baby back.
A.J. Holiday
Was he crying? Is he a good baby?
Tam Bam
He a good baby. Sweet baby. Oh, he's just staring up into my eyes like, do you love me?
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, that. That baby is definitely perfect, man.
Tam Bam
Oh, goodness. So perfect. Got long eyelashes. Already six weeks old with long, pretty eyelashes. Those cute, just little, tiny little features. Oh, my God.
A.J. Holiday
Boys always got the good features, though.
Tam Bam
Even men.
A.J. Holiday
Like, how do you get to have these nice thick ass eyebrows and lashes.
Tam Bam
Lashes and curly good edges. Yeah.
A.J. Holiday
Jealous.
Tam Bam
I wanted to steal that baby so bad, but I knew I would go to jail.
A.J. Holiday
And go make your own. Go get your own beggar boy.
Tam Bam
Right? That's what I gotta do. Let's get in the scene.
A.J. Holiday
Ah. Okay, y'.
Tam Bam
All.
A.J. Holiday
Pro tennis player Sasha Vicker.
WashablesOfSofas Announcer
Is it Vickery?
A.J. Holiday
Vickery says she requires a thousand dollar deposit to take her out on a date, as she just, just competed for a spot in the US Open this week. So this is an American tennis player, Sasha Vickery. She's 30. So she made headlines this week not for only competing in the US Open qualifiers, but also for candidly discussing her unusual dating policy. So during an Instagram Q and A Vickery review, she requires a thousand dollar pre date deposit. Citing past negative experiences, she said. And this is, I quote, says I no longer date for free due to the behavior of men. She said later posting proof of receiving such a payment. So people, people spending the bag to take her out. Y' all want to do it for Jay Z in it? Oh, no, they want. They want 50,000 order or dinner with Jay Z. Did you see Dr. Umar trying to sell dates for 500. He like, shit, I got half the price for Chris Brown. For $500, we could go on a date. Dr. Umar, he's really been. They call him the Panhandling Princess Prince. The Panhandling Prince or some shit like that. But it says. A Florida born athlete who reached a career high ranking of number 73 in 2018, also defended her use of OnlyFans, calling it the easiest money I've ever made. Her rep clarified that while she shares suggestive content, she does not post nudity or sexual acts and joined the platform during recovery from an injury. Vickery, daughter of Guyanese immigrants and a 2013 USTA Junior National Champion, won her opening qualifying match, but was eliminated by Germany's Elia Sedal on Thursday. So, yeah, she charged. She charging $2,000 deposit.
Tam Bam
I ain't mad.
A.J. Holiday
Me neither. And if the men are willing to pay for it, like, who complaining?
Tam Bam
Who complaining for real? Well, hickory dickory doc, Sasha Vickery on the clock.
A.J. Holiday
And I mean, Chris Brown charging 1200.
Tam Bam
Okay. Right. But you don't even get a date with him.
A.J. Holiday
Nope.
Tam Bam
Which brings me to my next topic.
A.J. Holiday
You get dick on your butt, right?
Tam Bam
So a woman says her boyfriend broke up with her after her meet and greet picture with Chris Brown. So, all right, this picture, y', all, is really cute. They're hugged up like kind of like a prom picture. I mean, it don't look bad. It don't look bad. It don't like.
A.J. Holiday
No, it doesn't.
Tam Bam
It looks kind of innocent. But it says, my boyfriend broke up with me because I allowed Chris Brown to hold my waist during the meet and greet. After the picture went viral, my boyfriend immediately broke up with me. He told me Chris Brown was too close to me and I shouldn't have allowed him to hold me like that. But I don't care. I will trade my boyfriend for a meet and greet with Chris Brown a.
A.J. Holiday
Hundred more times, she said, and I'll do it again. Chris Brown had that meat on her back. Her boyfriend ain't like that shit because he be seeing that damn that dance and how that shit be jumping.
Tam Bam
I think every relationship should be allowed one celebrity crush that if they ever got the chance to fuck, they could. No, my man, if you ever get close to your celebrity crush and she gonna let you do it, my boy.
A.J. Holiday
Cause let me tell you what's gonna happen if you gonna let him do it. But let Idris Alba come through or some shit like that, them niggas gonna be mad as hell. Because in men's mind, there's no reason why you can't get that, man. You know what I'm saying? Like, in their minds, like, we got access to everybody if you wanted to.
Tam Bam
Like, we got a better chance of getting than.
A.J. Holiday
And it's probably right.
Tam Bam
And that's why I said, go for it, my boy. Because when it's my third, I'm probably gonna win.
A.J. Holiday
But how you mad? Because, like, it's a celebrity. She came home once in a lifetime. Oftentimes why you want to make a big fuss? She need to get rid of him anyway. Because he probably jealous Chris Brown dick wasn't on his back.
Tam Bam
Yeah. And it was probably his homeboy like, dad, look at your girl. My boy, dad.
A.J. Holiday
Exactly. That's all that shit was about. Worrying about what your homeboy say.
Tam Bam
Ego. It's ego. So she did right? I mean, he broke up with her and it was for the best. Cause you shouldn't really care that much.
A.J. Holiday
You shouldn't. And I mean, she went viral also that. Y' all could have used that as an opportunity to go do some other shit like create a business, start selling some products. I don't know, something. But instead you just became a hater overnight.
Tam Bam
Yeah, over.
A.J. Holiday
I'm pretty sure. And this ain't even that bad.
Tam Bam
I see some worse pictures with Chris Brown.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, he just was taking like a garter belt off one girl. Not a garter belt. What is the thing that go on your thigh? Is that a garter belt? Right? Yeah, he was just sliding one down. Somebody said it was panties. I'm like, that's a garter belt. Yeah. What's the problem?
Tam Bam
What is the problem? It's just all relax a little bit.
A.J. Holiday
All right. So study shows that women need 47 minutes. 47 minutes of undivided attention a day from their man to feel happy and fulfilled in their relationship. Research shows. I don't know if these articles be real or not, but they always fun. And this is on black billionaires Underscore Instagram. It says, fellas, you may be 47. It says, fellas. What? This is definitely. Who the fuck wrote this? I'm gonna read how it says, though, fellas, you may be 40 minutes of daily attention away. Oh, it does make sense. Daily attention away from keeping your woman happy and fulfilled in your relationship. In the. In the fast paced world of modern relationships, emotional connection is more important than ever. According to findings inspired by renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman and studies published in Psychology Today, PubMed and very well mind, women thrive in relationships where they receive at least 47 minutes of undivided attention each day from their partners. This isn't just about being in the same room or watching TV together. It's about intentional, focused time spent listening, sharing, and being emotionally present. Research shows that when women feel seen and heard, their sense of fulfillment in a relationship increases significantly, boosting overall happiness and emotional security. Dr. Gottman, known for his ability to predict relationship success with remarkable accuracy, has long emphasized the importance of daily rituals of connection. Small but meaningful moments like checking in emotionally, sharing stories, or simply enjoying uninterrupted conversation. When couples make time for these moments, they build a stronger emotional foundation. The 47 minute mark might seem oddly specific, but it highlights the critical need for equality over quantity. Just under an hour of focused attention a day can lead to better communication, stronger intimacy, and increased satisfaction on both sides. And the way this bitch is smiling at me across the camera, she about to say, girl, you read that? And then I wasn't even think about that.
Tam Bam
But you did, you did read that good though. I'm proud of you. Look how it only took five years for you to be reading and not girl by like, you be like, what is happening? Girl, you know what's happening.
A.J. Holiday
You know my brain be moving faster than my damn mouth a lot of times or the other way around. Yeah, that's what be happening.
Tam Bam
But no, why I was smiling is because I was just thinking about like was 46 minutes. And the bitch was like, I'm still sad, you know, I feel unfulfilled. And then after 47 minutes, Bitches was like, yeah, life is good. I'm so happy now. Like, how did they get that exact number? I don't know. 30 seconds. Like, yeah, I'm gonna break up with him. I just don't like this. I don't feel good. 47 minutes. They was like, he's the man of my dreams. He's so perfect.
A.J. Holiday
I mean, I can. I don't know why the 47 minutes. And even when they talked about the 47 minute mark, it still didn't like.
Tam Bam
Makes makes sense on how they got to that exact number.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, it just says critical need for quality over quantity. I don't know how they got to 47 minutes exactly. Right under an hour.
Tam Bam
If they could have said a little under an hour. If they would have said like that 47 is crazy.
A.J. Holiday
Now I want to know like how. Yeah, so I mean, whether you're taking like a little walk or Even like a 47 minute phone call, like having like giving your woman that 47 minutes of undivided attention. Especially, I guess, if you living in a house with a man with kids and all that shit. Like, y' all gotta. Gotta take time out for each other, because if you're not falling in love, you're falling out of love.
Tam Bam
I was talking to this guy, and I was like. I thought I liked him, and then I was driving through a storm, and I told him I was on the phone with him. I was like, I'm really, really scared. I feel very much in danger. I'm scared. I can't see anything in front of me. I'm gonna call you back when I get through it. I called him 30 minutes I was driving terrified. I called him back. He ain't answered the phone. And then he didn't call me back until late that night. And nothing was wrong with him, so I stopped talking to him. Was that. Was I, like, tripping for that?
A.J. Holiday
No, you were not overreacting. Like, when I say I want a man that is concerned about me and considers me, I mean that. So, yeah, you were not concerned about me enough. You didn't check back on me.
Tam Bam
Yeah. And I.
A.J. Holiday
To make sure he ain't give a damn.
Tam Bam
Clearly scared. Yeah. And he did not check back on me. And that was a. Ooh, that was a boundary. Red flag. Oh, no, I can't talk to you no more.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, we. I'm good. I'm cool.
Tam Bam
Yeah, okay.
A.J. Holiday
You know, like, I'm cutting niggas off for less nowadays, so. Right there, like. Nah, you out of here.
Tam Bam
Right? Know about your business.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah. Because a woman that you care about, you might not even let her get off the phone. Like, no, Put that phone on speakerphone while you drive.
Tam Bam
Right.
A.J. Holiday
Men know what we expect. So if they not doing the things. Because actually men expect the same things. Right?
Tam Bam
Right.
A.J. Holiday
So if they're not doing the things, they. They. They not with you, they will show you. They may not say that they mouth, but they will show you how much they fuck with you.
Tam Bam
Yeah. So there's that. What are we talking about today?
A.J. Holiday
How much money we be spending on fucking stuff, basically.
Tam Bam
So the neighbor, y', all, we calling this black dough crack, but it is expensive, and that ain't a lot.
A.J. Holiday
Very expensive. It do cost.
Tam Bam
It do cost. So we gonna get into that, like, what it cost for us. Listen, I was in the airport yesterday, and I couldn't get in the lounge because I didn't have my AmEx card on me. So I was actually sitting down in the airport. So I was mad. I went to this little margarita spot, and the server checked my ID for my drink and he was like, well, damn. He was like, how y' all do that? He was white. He's like, how y' all do that? You know? First he was like, take your glasses off because I had my sunglasses on. He was like, well, damn, you nine months older than me. But he looked very much his age.
A.J. Holiday
I just don't know what people expect you to look like at what age.
Tam Bam
Like, I think they expect you to look like them and don't. But we gonna get into it when we come back from this commercial.
A.J. Holiday
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Samsung Announcer
You want the best way to watch your favorite team at home. And now you can experience game day in all its glory with a Samsung Super Big tv. It's super big and super clear, giving you a closer view than being on the side. And you can go big without the blur thanks to the super sized Picture Enhancer on our biggest TVs. So get ready for your game day with the ultimate fan worthy tv@samsung.com super size picture enhancer utilizes AI based formulas available on 85 inch and larger TVs on models QN, 70F and above.
WashablesOfSofas Announcer
This Labor Day say goodbye to spills, stains and overpriced furniture with washablesofas.com featuring Annabe, the only machine washable sofa inside and out where designer quality meets budget friendly pricing. Sofas start at just $699, making it the perfect time to upgrade your space. Anibe's Pet Friendly, stain resistant and interchangeable slipcovers are made with high performance fabric built for real life. You'll love the cloud like comfort of hypoallergenic, high resilience foam that never needs fluffing and a durable steel frame that stands the test of time with modular pieces you can rearrange anytime. It's a sofa that adapts to your life. Now through Labor Day. Get up to 60% off site wide@washablesofas.com Every order comes with a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not in love, send it back for a full refund. No return shipping, no restocking fees. Every penny back. Shop now@washablesofas.com Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
A.J. Holiday
All right y' all so black don't crack but it do cost so what were you saying about this man in the airport town?
Tam Bam
So this man was taking my id. He took my order and then asked to get my id and I gave it to him reluctantly because I don't really tell people how old I am, but I guess I had to at a restaurant. And he was like can you take your glasses off for me please? So I took my glasses off and he was like damn. Like Don Cheadle. So he was like damn, you look half your age. God damn. How do y' all do that? What is it? Is it skincare? What Is it? I was like, it's melanin.
A.J. Holiday
Maybe you're not made with it.
Tam Bam
But it's also lots of money, lots of products, lots of. Because I just had some Botox in my forehead. And let me tell you, I was watching our videos from not this last recording, but the recording earlier, and I was, like, wrinkling my forehead and I seen lines in it, and I said.
A.J. Holiday
Oh, yeah, both of us, bitch. Because I definitely had my Botox after that first series of videos we were recording.
Tam Bam
So it's not all just melanin. It's also a little bit of nip tuck facial structure. So we do a little something once you get to a certain level of maturity.
A.J. Holiday
Handbag. Because it costs money for upkeep. You know what I'm saying? So that's really what this episode is about. Like, how much money are we really spending on making sure this black doesn't crack?
Tam Bam
Right.
A.J. Holiday
I think there are a lot of black women who really don't get Botox and stuff like that.
Tam Bam
Yeah. And don't need it either.
A.J. Holiday
And I'm probably, like, averaging once a year. I've only had it three times, and actually the first time I did that dye sport shit, that did not work, and it gave me a lazy eye, so I never did that shit again. So this is only my second time getting Botox. I found a really, really, really, really good girl to do it. But, yeah, for that fucking forehead and this little mad dog fat piece right here. Like, I need to go back in there right now.
Tam Bam
That's how it happens. Let it go.
A.J. Holiday
I know, but see, I shouldn't be able to scrunch my face. I'm already able to scrunch my face, and now I need to go again.
Tam Bam
Well, no, you don't want it so tight that you can't. You don't have no facial expressions.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, but I don't want to be.
Tam Bam
Stop doing that. That's why y' all should keep doing it. And then we're talking about why I keep doing that. Cause you keep doing that.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, but I can't help it because I naturally. Like, when I smile and laugh and stuff, I ball my whole face up. So I need the Botox to, like, keep my forehead stiff.
Tam Bam
Yeah. So how much is that? Like, every time you go, the person who I.
A.J. Holiday
This is actually the cheapest I've ever spent and probably the most units I've ever gotten. It was like 350.
Tam Bam
Oh, that wasn't bad.
A.J. Holiday
Not at all.
Tam Bam
I'll go get a whole facial balancing so I'll get.
A.J. Holiday
Oh, what is that?
Tam Bam
So I have. Y'. All. I have a receding chin. I think that's from my. I just found out that I'm 11% Scottish, so I think that's from my Scottish side. Because I see it more common in white people where the chin, it doesn't line up with the face. It goes back a little bit. So I get chin filler to, like, make it, like, balanced. So between the chin filler, the Botox in my forehead, I be spending, like, a stack.
A.J. Holiday
How often?
Tam Bam
I don't go as often. I might go, like, once a year, too, because I really don't have $1,000 twice a year to be giving. I don't think I got a bad face. It'll be okay. But once I started seeing a little. But y', all, I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna be honest. I'm getting chin lipo in October, so.
A.J. Holiday
And what does that consist of? Are you gonna have, like, one of those things wrapped around your face?
Tam Bam
Yep.
A.J. Holiday
Is it not chin lipo is like, this. This part underneath the chin.
Tam Bam
Underneath the chin. Because that second chin, it don't matter how much weight I lose, how much it has to do with, like, just, I think, honestly, getting older.
A.J. Holiday
Elasticity.
Tam Bam
Yeah. So I'm getting my chin.
A.J. Holiday
Turkey neck.
Tam Bam
Yeah, I'm getting my turkey neck. I don't want it no more. And I'm tired of looking at it. And we do our. When we do our videos, I can't even hear what we saying. Cause I'm staring at that second chin so hard. Like, I can't.
A.J. Holiday
I hate it so hard on ourselves, man.
Tam Bam
So I'm doing that. So black do crack, it do fall. It just don't fall as fast as others. Now, you know who don't be cracking either? The Asian girlies.
A.J. Holiday
They have that. That Asian cosmetics is, like, right. Like, the. The. That stuff is really, really good. I use a line. God damn, I forgot the name of it. But I buy it in bulk every Thanksgiving on Black Friday. But I use some of their. Some of their products. Like the Snail sermons. Yeah.
Tam Bam
Yeah, I like that, too. And then another thing I have going on, I have, like, when I was a teenager, I never went through, like, the acne puberty stage.
A.J. Holiday
Me either.
Tam Bam
Never had a single zit my whole life until I got older up in, like. I ain't gonna tell y' all how old I am. But up in there. Once I started getting up in there, I started developing adult acne, but just on my jawline.
A.J. Holiday
On the chin, that's me around the jawline I had gotten. You remember those pictures I sent you, how I got that? And this is why I don't do a whole lot of nothing right. And it takes me a long time to even be like get the muster up the nerve to even go get a Botox or something like that. Because I have very bad luck when it comes to fucking with my body. I got a chemical peel once and I swear to God I had a fucking first degree burn, whichever is the highest.
Tam Bam
She sent me the pictures of her, her jaw and it was white raw meat. I'm talking about white raw meat. I could not believe my eyes. And it was like black, like burnt. It looked like burnt skin. Like straight up.
A.J. Holiday
It was. And essentially it burned like. I don't know. I hope that's not what it's supposed to look like. Like, I don't know how people go get their whole face done with a chemical peel. But maybe this person did burn me. But thank God, right? My body was able to heal and regenerate new skin because I do have like light scarring like right here. But you can't see it because it's, you know, underneath.
Tam Bam
But I'm seeing like now I'm seeing chemical pills that are like that, that are like, they be like they whole face come off and like, like a hard and it's. I mean. Hmm.
A.J. Holiday
Like a scab.
Tam Bam
Yeah, like a big ass scab coming off. And then when the skin heals it looks amazing. But you just gotta go through this. I mean, if you ladies want to do that, do it around Halloween so you fit in. Because baby, that shit look crazy as hell.
A.J. Holiday
That's super evasive. Yeah, it's crazy. But so it's being pretty making us broke, you know what I'm saying? Like, especially with the social media area and people who are actually trying to look like they're the filters, you know? To what end are people spending to look perfect online?
Tam Bam
Well, that's the thing with these filters. You ain't got to spend no money at this point. You ain't got to spend money. You just ain't going to look like your filter in real life, you know, that's so you don't have.
A.J. Holiday
People are trying to.
Tam Bam
Yeah, but people are trying to do that. That shit gets very expensive. Even if it. When it comes down to like just skincare products, not like actual procedures, but like the products are high too.
A.J. Holiday
Exactly.
Tam Bam
I be going to Trader Joe's and getting their skincare shit. I like their stuff you think?
A.J. Holiday
Is it organic?
Tam Bam
Mm. It's good stuff. I like their stuff. So I go get their toner, I get their gel face moisturizer and a face wash right out of Trader Joe's. Some nachos, some salsa, and some skincare right out of Trader Joe's. So.
A.J. Holiday
So aside from, like, cosmetic type products, like, tell me about a time you, like, actually, like, splurged. Super splurged on an outfit or something like that for an event. And how much did you spend?
Tam Bam
Ooh, okay.
A.J. Holiday
Outfit, shoes. Now, all the things I.
Tam Bam
This was many, many, many years ago, so I didn't even have the money to be spending, but I was going to Miami. I mean, I was in my, like, 20s at this time, y'. All. I was going to Miami and I. And we were going to live. And I was like, I gotta be a bad bitch when I go on to live. So I. It was this website where you could rent designer clothes room.
A.J. Holiday
Rent the one Runway.
Tam Bam
Yep, rent the Runway. And I got this cute dress. I can't remember who the designer was, but I probably spent, like $200 to rent it. But then I got in a fight in the club, and they ripped all the sequins off my dress, so I couldn't return it like that. I had to pay for the dress, and it was $2,000. $2,000 dress. So, I mean, I guess that's a splurge. I didn't intend to splurge. Them bitches ripped me out my dress. That was definitely a splurge on clothes. And then I went to, like, in 2016, I went to Sona Bella to get my back fat removed. Don't go to Sono Bella, y'. All. I can't. Unless you, like, really fat. It ain't for you. Cause I feel like my back. I came out with the same back I went in with.
A.J. Holiday
I even. Well, one of my friends, she went to Sonno Bella, and she is not super big either, but she got a fat back, like. And when I tell you, none of that shit went away.
Tam Bam
Exactly. I don't know what they doing. Like. So when people like. Do you have. Have you had plastic surgery? No. Right? No. It didn't work because they look the same way I did before it came out, so.
A.J. Holiday
But does Sono Bella, like, offer, like, non invasive lipo?
Tam Bam
Yeah. So it's not like. Yeah, because they don't put you to sleep. It's kind of like freezing the fat type McDonald's of lipo. Huh?
A.J. Holiday
Is it like freezing the fat or what? Are they doing?
Tam Bam
No, I don't know what the fuck they doing. I wish I would have been like more smart about how I went about paying for surgery because it was a waste of money. They give you a bunch of drugs to make you sleepy and they put some numbing agent inside your back and then they just like. I think that gave me a back massage.
A.J. Holiday
And then they was back there with one little dough rollers just rolling your.
Tam Bam
Shit out and that was it. That's really what I think happened. The drugs they give you make you kind of sleepy and not like coherent for real. And I just really think that that's what they did. They just was back there playing on my back, rubbing it, smacking it, playing on your top. And then that was it. What about you?
A.J. Holiday
I don't think I've ever spent like an astronomical amount of money. First of all, I feel like I can make. I'm gonna make the things look good no matter what it is, right? So it's not. Not you can get some really nice pieces and not spend a whole bunch of money. So I think probably the most out, like maybe on some shoes possibly, but like on just full. A thousand dollar max. If I got to really go to an event or something like that, I'm probably not spending over $1,000. Like you want to get a good dress, might be 300 something dollars, some shoes. I'm not going to get my makeup done. I'm doing that shit myself. I have followed TAM up multiple times.
Tam Bam
You will though. I've seen you pay for makeup.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, no, I was about to say, like, yeah, I have followed you up multiple times and paid for makeup. And every time I'm like, I could have did this shit or this is too much shit. I can't wait to wash my face. I don't like it. It's just too much. And then you gotta wash off $150 worth of product.
Tam Bam
Let me tell you one time, I.
A.J. Holiday
Got some bitches sleep with their shit on, right?
Tam Bam
Yep. Last time I was in Atlanta, I went and got my makeup done for. I can't remember. I think it was the. No, I didn't do it for the festival. I can't remember. But I could not even pay for my service because I could not open up my banking with my face id.
A.J. Holiday
No, you did. You did get your makeup done because remember, I had to pay for it.
Tam Bam
I had to call you to pay for it because I could not get into my bank. Yo, it did not recognize me. It kept saying I didn't know that ain't you, bitch. Who is this? And the first thing I told her is like, I don't like a lot of makeup because I want to look like myself. Right.
A.J. Holiday
Not casket ready.
Tam Bam
Yeah. I couldn't even get into my bank.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah. Because the makeup girlies don't know how to do a light beat. I don't think, like, if you go get makeup, they automatically assume, like, even when you say light beat, it's gonna be like, heavy. It's gonna be face full of makeup, like it's your wedding day or something. I mean, even then I want to.
Tam Bam
Say that people be going for. Because I remember one time we went and I was like, gosh, this is a lot of makeup. But by the time it set, I was like, okay, this looks nice. You know, this does look nice. But I just like myself right out.
A.J. Holiday
The chair, right off the chair. You be looking like somebody else. But it does set. It take like an hour for it to like, look like it's supposed to look right.
Tam Bam
So I'm not a big makeup girly like that. I love makeup, but not just too much. Good grief. And that shit is.
A.J. Holiday
So what about the girls who get all the nails? The acrylics, you get your nails done. I don't even get my nails done. So how much are people paying for, like the bedazzled nails? Like a cardi b nail?
Tam Bam
Oh, I don't even know. I don't go that far. Just give me some polish, that's all. I don't do a whole bunch of designs and studs and stones and shit. Cause I. I don't have time for that order money. I know they be paying like upwards of almost 150. $175 for their nails.
A.J. Holiday
I be paying like $25.
Tam Bam
Huh?
A.J. Holiday
$25 was a full set back in the day.
Tam Bam
Back in the day. No, $70 easy. Easy. $70.
A.J. Holiday
Even for a pedicure. Your pedicure is like $40 now. Plus a tip. $50. Plus a tip.
Tam Bam
Yeah, plus more than that. My feet, my refit, I need more. I need the whole shebang.
A.J. Holiday
Not my feet.
Tam Bam
It's just the left foot, the right foot normal. That left foot. Like, I go to this girl named Tiffany, the foot surgeon for my feet because I need someone serious.
A.J. Holiday
Shout out to Tiffany.
Tam Bam
Shout out to Tiffany. Yes, she do.
A.J. Holiday
So do we. Is this stuff like, is it self care or self sabotage? Like, are we doing too much? I know the men hate the weave, right? I just be like, it's a whole disclaimer When I start talking to somebody like, listen, you met me with this weave. I always wear weave. Don't come harassing me a year from now. Like, baby, when you gonna let me fuck you with your natural? Never. I mean, you have fucked me with the natural, but it's under a bonnet.
Tam Bam
Okay. Do you let your new boo see your hair?
A.J. Holiday
He probably could have had, would have had the opportunity to see it if he would have just walked in the bathroom at some point. But no, I'd be putting on a bonnet. If I don't have my wig on, I don't just be walking around with my braids.
Tam Bam
Do you have hair?
A.J. Holiday
I don't. No, I don't. It's just nothing though. It's not like my hair is in style. You know, even with natural hair you can just, you know, do two strand twists or something like that to make it look cute. Is fucking dry and braided down. What am I showing?
Tam Bam
Yeah.
A.J. Holiday
So no, it's not an insecurity. Maybe if I actually did the hair, then it would be cool. But it's not done. Like, and nine times out of ten, like, these braids underneath this fucking wig look crazy. And I feel like women need to keep something. I need to keep something to myself. The illusion. Right, Right. You have to sell and experience these things.
Tam Bam
Passing that out, huh?
A.J. Holiday
Excuse me. Go ahead. I'm sorry, what'd you say about this pussy? Because it be hitting bitch.
Tam Bam
Go ahead. What were you saying?
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, like, you gotta keep something to yourself, you know, Like, I don't think that men should watch their women get dressed. I don't think so. I don't think you should see me putting my makeup on and doing all the things, putting my magic together. I don't think it's your business.
Tam Bam
Yeah, that's why I don't do too much walking around, like naked. I stay covered up. Like, you only get to really see me naked until you get to see me naked.
A.J. Holiday
Well, I'm a naked person. I be walking. I like, I hate clothes. Soon as I hit the door, I'm taking all my clothes off. I'm naked.
Tam Bam
And you just be walking around naked all the time.
A.J. Holiday
Yes, I do. I come from a naked family. Like, even the fucking boys, like n.
Tam Bam
Be naked, I'd be naked. But when I'm with a man, I'd be covered up. Cause this is, this is your prize. This is your surprise. You don't get to see it just all willy nilly.
A.J. Holiday
Willy nilly. So I think it's. I mean, I think it's it's self love. I don't think it's. You're sabotaging in any type of way. I believe that, you know, we should do whatever makes us feel good, right? So if. And men should be okay with their woman. My ex.
Tam Bam
To make them feel good. Yeah, yeah.
A.J. Holiday
My ex, for example, he would always complain and then say he just wants me to be comfortable. I am comfortable. I am not the one complaining about the fucking weave. There's some shit that you'd be doing I could very well complain about. Some things that you waste money on, I can complain about. Like, so you under the guise of control, right? That's controlled. But under the guise of just wanted me to be comfortable. You're really making me uncomfortable. And now I got to have a whole argument with you about fucking weave about myself. To the point to one time this nigga called his mom and his mom was like, you're asking the wrong person. I wear wigs, right? Because essentially he was trying to say I wasn't me. I wouldn't be me without the weave. And yes, I am talking about the nigga who cut my wig up one time, okay. Because he thought he was removing some swag from me and I just went and fucking sewed me up another one. Bitch, I got so much weave, I can open a shop right now. But yeah, he thought he was like taking some swag away. No, I'm still me with. And I still treat you good with or without weave. So what are we talking about?
Tam Bam
I don't like when n be like spray painting they beard. I don't like that. But if that make you feel good, then who am I to tell you not to do that, you know? But maybe let me paint. Like, I will even do the color for you, Baby, don't put that like that hard line paint line. That's what I don't like. I don't mind you coloring it. That's fine. Do that. But that hard paint line be making me real upset.
A.J. Holiday
Kick off anxiety a little bit.
Tam Bam
Hmm. Break that line.
A.J. Holiday
Giving me anxiety a little bit.
Tam Bam
Break that line up the fuck.
A.J. Holiday
So let's do like a little. Let's go over like a budget of some sort. Like how much people be spending, like the high end. And maybe we could do like a budget low end to try to help some of the listeners. Because most of our listeners are younger women, right? And you don't gotta do much.
Tam Bam
It's about younger women. It's half and half. It's women younger and then middle, right?
A.J. Holiday
Yeah. Probably your age.
Tam Bam
Yeah, your age too.
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A.J. Holiday
So I just want to back it up a little bit, right, Because I know I mentioned like was it like self love or are we self sabotaging spending all this fucking money on on things and stuff and keeping up with the Joneses and keeping up with the trends. What do you think? Do you think it's self love?
Tam Bam
It's a little bit of both, honestly. Because when you look good, you feel good, you know?
A.J. Holiday
Absolutely.
Tam Bam
When you got on some new shit, your hair is all laid, you feel nice, you feel good inside. I don't know if our self worth is attached to our outer appearance, but maybe so a little bit. So I mean that's self love to me. But at the same time, if you eating ramen noodles to get your hair done, that's not self love. You putting that poor shit into your body, you know, and you to look like money, you sacrificing your health to look good. It's people who don't have a side tooth but hair is laid, you know, she like that.
A.J. Holiday
I lean more towards. I understand like it is, it is kind of both. But I think when I think about the black community in our culture, it is self sabotage because niggas will wear the money instead of actually having it. You know, people be spending their last damn dollar on some shit and they ain't Pay their light bill your lights off. Because we know black people are the number one consumers around the world. Okay? We gonna buy some shit. Everybody markets to us. We move culture, we move style, fashion, all that stuff.
Tam Bam
Absolutely.
A.J. Holiday
So they expect us to buy. Meanwhile, we put all our money out. We don't have much coming in, Right? And I know for a fact that if a depression hit tomorrow, bitches are still going to Tam's vanity. They get their hair done, right. It don't even matter. So as a black woman, like the beauty industry is the number one industry. You should be. Because don't have a dime left, but they gonna barter some coochie or something to get. So I lean more towards it being a little bit self sabotage. I mean, like, I just feel like other races of people can show up for real. Like truly their true authentic self and an example of this. And I hate that my ex probably be listening to this vid this and be like, bitch, fuck you. But when I met him, it would be like a equivalent in comparison to pictures he would show me of him and how he had like the gold teeth and all the things. It would be like a Gucci Mane, like 360, right. Completely different person. And he was in the hood, hustling in the streets. Like, he had to. Always super smart, though. Always an intellectual. But because of his environment, he couldn't even show that part of him. This nigga liked to make his own clothes. Like when I met him, he had some crazy ass bandana shit on and some tank top he had sewed up himself on a sewing machine. Like that is the real him. Some shit he didn't even have to go spend two $300 on. That's really what he liked. But he was trying to. He masked it because of his environment. He couldn't show how smart he was. He couldn't show how creative he was, you know, because we think everything is whack and lame.
Tam Bam
Mm.
A.J. Holiday
Like, even like the glow up with the white men when they get with black women. Like, the glow up is that. That's a real thing. And I don't know if it got anything to do with clothes or just the energy of us. Right. It could be both, a little combination of both. But they look like they spending more money on clothes once they get with a black woman.
Tam Bam
Right. But I think we culturally, not just black, but even in Africa, like, we've always been very aesthetically pleasing. Yeah. Like, that's part of who we are, you know? I went and did some research during our break and I found that The Black. In 2024, the Black consumer spent over $9.4 billion on beauty products. And it was expected 10.2 billion last year. I couldn't find last year's numbers, but in 2.3 billion went to hair, cosmetic and nail grooming, 1.9 billion. Facial skincare, $1.1 billion. Hand and body, $1.2 billion and fragrance, $1.5 billion. And we are the greatest spenders in the country, even though we make up a fraction of it, right?
A.J. Holiday
So Bobo's always been lame, but we would stress our parents out, not even realize they couldn't even afford that bullshit. That bullshit, right? Stressing your parents out for Jordans. Not my mama. Cause she didn't give a girl. I ain't getting no name brand sneakers. For real. Until I started buying them in high school. I'm gonna get some regular ass Nikes and that's it. But you know, and we grew up in a house though, so her priorities was intact, but was growing up in the hood, had all the right, all the J's every time they came out.
Tam Bam
But some people, in their defense, they feel like they're never gonna be able to have that stuff. Like the big home, the big cars, the greatest thing they have is the outward appearance of their aesthetic. So they're gonna pour into that because the house seems just outside of what they will ever be able to get. But I can look good, you know, I can drive a nice car and I can look good every day, you know, and that's probably as far as I can go. But that's not true.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, it's not true. But I understand the limiting mindset, right? The lack mentality. And I think our generation, millennials in particular, the way we be sending these kids to school into prom, how are they going to keep up with that as adults? Who the fuck was thinking about getting a Gucci bag in high school, right? Like these little kids want like real bags and parents are affording these things. I don't know where they're getting the money from. Is it a real bag? Is it Canal Street? But I got a homegirl who daughter got like a little. A little Gucci bag to start school in goddamn elementary school. What is happening? I know you get some little hand me down, you get my little hand me down shit. But no, I'm not going to buy you a brand new anything for that type of money. It just doesn't make sense to me.
Tam Bam
I just don't have it because I would do it. I know. I would do it.
A.J. Holiday
You would do it. I mean, okay, I took.
Tam Bam
I had this diamond bracelet that this guy bought me, and it was expensive bracelet, but it. I needed to get some links taken out because it didn't fit my wrist. And child, I went and put them diamonds in my God baby ear, okay?
A.J. Holiday
Period.
Tam Bam
And I know it's expensive, so I know that I'm the type that will trick off on some kids. I ain't gonna lie. I will. Yeah.
A.J. Holiday
I'm not buying no Gucci bags and shit for people, for kids to lose kids. I mean, now this little girl who I'm talking about, like, she's at the age now where, like, she likes fashion, you know, she's maybe fifth grade or something like that. So if that's what they're into and they know exactly what it is, like, you ask them what they want for Christmas and that's the actual thing on their list, a Gucci bag.
Tam Bam
Right. It's probably because of their par. You know, their mom is into that kind of thing. But what I don't like is when parents buy kids expensive stuff and then get mad at them for ruining it. Like, if you're willing to pay for this stuff, remember, your kid still gets to be a kid. You know, I see you whipping her baby because he was scuffing up his shoes. He is three years old.
A.J. Holiday
If you don't want to scruff them.
Tam Bam
Shoes, get him some little Pokemons or something, you know, like, if it matters that much, that's too small to be especially spanking them for that.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah. Like, kids are going to be kids. That's why you should buy them. Bullshit. Okay? Until they actually know what it is and then they understand the value of things and they can take care of it.
Tam Bam
Right?
A.J. Holiday
But you can't expect a kid to walk on water because that's what your big grown ass do. Because you, like, cherish these sneakers and these things, you know what I'm saying? Over a nice home.
Tam Bam
Right?
A.J. Holiday
You know what I'm saying?
Tam Bam
And then people really don't be. I mean, you get that stuff and it feel good for a while, and then you be fucking it. My best friend got a Birkin for her birthday last year. That expensive bag. And it was a dirty diaper in there the other day. I was like, oh, my God.
A.J. Holiday
Because this is just a bag.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
A.J. Holiday
At that point, like, it's just.
Tam Bam
I got it like that out. I was like, oh, my God. Some snacks down in there. Like children's gummy beans. Like, you know, it's just A bag at the end of the day.
A.J. Holiday
So it's a diaper bag. And them bags ain't even that damn cute. There's so many more, like nicer, like lower end. I don't even want to call it lower end because what makes something designer.
Tam Bam
You know what I'm saying? It's about the mental status that we give these things. Not the actual thing most of the.
A.J. Holiday
Time, not the actual value of it.
Tam Bam
Right.
A.J. Holiday
Because it don't cost nothing to make a lot of this shit.
Tam Bam
I was looking, somebody posted yesterday of the cars that we used to be driving in the early. Not us guys. And they had like, you remember the cars? The Fruit Loops, the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the M and M. Like they would put all these brands on their cars and design the car around that brand. That shit was hideous. I was looking at it.
A.J. Holiday
Who paying you? Did you get a check from it?
Tam Bam
No, nobody, none of those. They got all that free advertisement from your stupid ass. But who decided that that was the shit? Somebody decided that was a look and then the mental consciousness around it decided that that was what you needed to do to have a nice country ass car. And then that's what you did, you know?
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, I don't know man. I think we, I think black people as a whole, we gotta like re.
Tam Bam
Calibrate and it's.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, because I just, I prefer a nice home over stuff, you know what I'm saying? Like right now I want a brand new car and I could go get one, but I do not want a car payment like right now. The interest rates on the loans, the insurance, my car, y', all, why the fuck am I paying like $250 a month for car insurance? I don't even understand it, right? I don't have a brand new car, you know what I'm saying? So I, even if I, I want to be, if I can't buy cash, I don't want it. So I keep, I keep feeling like it's gonna be some old ass lady, right? Some old ass couple going drop they brand new Mercedes AMG 63 on a Carguru and it's gonna be for me for $25,000 and I'm gonna go slap them in the face with a bag and drive off in the car. That's what I just think is going to happen for me. Because that's what the fuck is going to have to happen. Because I do not believe in paying 15, 1500 dollars a month for a car and insurance. Yeah, that's crazy to me.
Tam Bam
I don't pay that much, I'll buy.
A.J. Holiday
A cash car forever.
Tam Bam
I do pay a lot, but not that much. Not that a lot of people.
A.J. Holiday
For what I want, you're going to pay about $2,000 a month for it, and that's nuts.
Tam Bam
No, I'm not paying that much. Not when I gotta do everything by myself. If I lived in a dual income house, I still wouldn't want to pay $2,000 a month in the car, but.
A.J. Holiday
Cause I would be thinking about what else I can do with that money. Like that's vacation, you know what I'm saying?
Tam Bam
But maybe it's because we don't have a lot of money, people. It's probably somebody listening to us. Like $2,000 a month, that's nothing. These girls are poor, you know.
A.J. Holiday
Hey, look, more power to you because even when I get this super duper bag, I still am not. I don't like paying a lot to live. And what people need to realize is that rich people really don't spend money, okay? They get a lot of free shit.
Tam Bam
Yeah, they do.
A.J. Holiday
Especially you're. If you're an influencer online, like you will get all your free clothes. They don't spend money. We are the consumers, the middle class and below are really the people who are consuming the most is not rich people. And I even hate to see like people always like to compare, like how flashy people be in comparison to how flashy like a billionaire these billionaires be having on $3,000 T shirts, right?
Tam Bam
Okay.
A.J. Holiday
Just because it doesn't have a label on it, doesn't mean it's not. It doesn't cost a lot, right? You see, black people could tend to be labor. Labor label whores sometimes, right? But white folks, they have their little things that cost a lot of money that may just not have a label on it.
Tam Bam
I remember many, many, many years ago, Ochocinco said I get used to diamonds out of Claire's. Oh, let me take that part out. This guy said to me, cause and I was like, claire's. He's like mine from Claire's. He's like. Cause people gonna think they real. Cause I'm me.
A.J. Holiday
Exactly, exactly, exactly. Yeah. So when your reputation precedes you, you can pull up with some fake shit on and ain't nobody gonna question it, right?
Tam Bam
But that ain't gonna work for me, baby. These gonna look like Claire's unless you upgrade my whole life now I just another bitch with Claire earrings on. Please stop.
A.J. Holiday
Where was this? I think this was that Duvall Day. The bitches is walking around with the diamond tester on these dudes, man. He was testing niggas gold teeth. They was testing their chains and shit. I'm like, why? Why black people gotta embarrass each other like that, right? Like, it looks nice. So what if it's real or fake? It looks nice, right? That part you move around like they just be so hard on. On each other when it comes to aesthetics.
Tam Bam
Aesthetics, yeah, Very hard. I was watching this video today. It was Nelly Furtado and she's gotten older and she's put on some weight, you know, and there were thicker than a snicker. Yeah, she thick. And it was men in the comments, like, just tearing her up and like, just saying all the nastiest, meanest shit about her body. And then when you would go to their page, I would just. I just took about 15 minutes out of my life to read them down. Like, read them the.
A.J. Holiday
You good for that shit, bitch.
Tam Bam
That shit mess. Ooh, ooh. That makes me so angry because how dare you over there with dirty fingernails, balding head, fucking stomach hanging over your pants cracks showing, dusty, rusty ass. Got the nerve to talk about this woman because she put on weight and look at you, the fuck. That shit pissed me off so bad. And I will go and look at your pictures and then read you down because you deserve it.
A.J. Holiday
That's just like recently Charlamagne on Bria. Idiots. They were talking about what's. What's Monica's ex husband name? The basketball player Girl, I don't know.
Tam Bam
I don't be keeping up with them people. Marriage, right?
A.J. Holiday
So recently he was on. Not he wasn't on, but they had a clip. He was recently on somebody's podcast and he basically was saying, like, you need to get you a. Men need to get palpiers.
Tam Bam
Oh, okay.
A.J. Holiday
Was it Paul Pierce? Yeah. Said that men need to. Men need to get them like a strong five, six, or seven. Don't be getting these nines, eight nines and tens. Because, you know, obviously, basically the eight, nines and tens know they worth and add tax. All right, so get you a strong 5, 6, 7. Who gonna put some elbow grease and muscle in there with you? Some bullshit. Basically, y' all want somebody that y' all can tower over, right? Y' all want a bitch with self esteem issues and all these things, right? And I commented on that post and I said, you know, all I said was men are way more shallow than women. That's all I said. So of course you want to get the attacks. And it's just the truth. Because men are way more. They're visual creatures, right? So a three. And we're. If we're going to put people on a scale, which I don't like doing shit like that because, you know, it's beauties in the. In the eye of the. Of the beholder, right? So if a man is a 3, he still thinks he deserves a 10. So that's why you see these threes commenting on Nelly Furtado. Because in their minds they still should have access to smash on the eight, nines and tens. How dare you not give me no pussy.
Tam Bam
And that's mentally ill. That is crazy.
A.J. Holiday
So women, we find men attractive for different reasons outside of just aesthetics, right? For men, it's straight up how you look, right? And a lot of men are with women that they don't fine aesthetically it. Please. And they really don't even like you. They really think that they're supposed to have somebody else. Their finances probably just don't afford them to get the woman they think they're supposed to have. But even if you get the money, sir, you're probably still going to be lame. I remember, there's that part.
Tam Bam
I remember this guy saying. We were all sitting around a table in a bar talking and he said he compared his wife to a good Honda.
A.J. Holiday
Oh yeah, you said that.
Tam Bam
I'll never forget that shit. I will never. I was appalled. My flab.
A.J. Holiday
And was she there?
Tam Bam
She had table. I think she went to the bar to get another round or something like that.
A.J. Holiday
That's fucked up right there. Why your woman going to get the drinks right?
Tam Bam
Well, I think we all took turns getting rounds. It wasn't like no big deal.
A.J. Holiday
I don't know him saying some shit like that, but I feel like he really be mistreating her.
Tam Bam
Oh well, they're not. They divorced eventually but good. I couldn't believe that. Like please God, don't ever send me a love like that where the man considers me a reliable Honda Accord. And nothing's wrong with my Honda Accord girl, is if you driving the Honda, I want you to hear this and think your car is less than because it is not. They are nice cars. But if you're using it as a comparison to what you, your mate, it just seems like insulting.
A.J. Holiday
Very much so, yes. A reliable Honda, that means you could drive that. What Trina said. Trina said we treating like rental cars, dogging them out with no dough, gas, nothing you could talk about. So he just, he just gonna run through his wife and she just be There still working. Because, you know, you could put about 200,000 miles on a Honda, right?
Tam Bam
They good cars. I mean, they good reliable.
A.J. Holiday
He's a good ladies. Don't let. Don't let these dudes trick you like that, man. Like, don't listen. No.
Tam Bam
Okay, hold on.
A.J. Holiday
I want to play a quick game, right? Quick though.
Tam Bam
Let's see.
A.J. Holiday
You know, whenever we record again, like visuals. I got a little website I want you to take this little test on. We can both take the test.
Tam Bam
Okay.
A.J. Holiday
I won't tell you exactly what it's. It's along the lines of this, right? Or it's like how delusion are women really? Okay, but would you spend or save game, basically. So are you going to spend $900 on a designer purse or three months worth of groceries? I don't want to choose. If I got to choose, I can't do this. Like, why we got to choose?
Tam Bam
That's what I'm saying. Like what? It depends on what's going on in my life, you know? Like, because grandmama.
A.J. Holiday
My grandmama. My grandmama's sick, right?
Tam Bam
Is grandma sick? And she needs some money because I want a bag and I want food. Like, why I gotta choose, right?
A.J. Holiday
But if it's an online game, if.
Tam Bam
I don't have no food, obviously I'm gonna get food.
A.J. Holiday
You know, that's not obvious though, because there's a lot of people, if they got some shit to do, they might around. Don't eat for the week to look like somebody on the weekend, right?
Tam Bam
And say, I'm fasting, Bitch, you're broke.
A.J. Holiday
$300 sneakers versus emergency savings fund.
Tam Bam
If I don't have any emergency savings, then I'm gonna put the money in the fund. But if I got something, I'm getting me some shoes. I need some shoes, right?
A.J. Holiday
I won't say this is really for us. Cause I think we might be a little bit more.
Tam Bam
We older.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, like. Cause did you have health care?
Tam Bam
Right? I'mma eat now. I'm gonna eat.
A.J. Holiday
$150 on lashes versus gas for the month.
Tam Bam
Listen, I don't believe in paying for lashes. I done had so many bad lash experiences looking stupid as fuck. Can't get that shit off my face. Cause I got really curly lashes. And I told that girl, please don't put a curly lash on, because it'll just roll back into my eye. You your eyes closed so you can't see what the fuck is happening. So when I opened my eyes and I looked in that fucking mirror and I looked at Pubic hair on my face, looking goddamn stupid. And then I had to go, nigga. Immediately after he was looking at me stupid. I was looking at him stupid. I was like, I'm not paying for this shit ever again.
A.J. Holiday
Snuffaluffagus looking dumb.
Tam Bam
So I'm gonna get the gas every time, and I'm gonna put on a strip or the clusters that go underneath, they're cheaper and they look just as good. So there I like.
A.J. Holiday
Like, I got a really good, like, list of good lashes from Amazon. Like, some I keep in rotation heavily that look like. You know, they look good. Like, individuals.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah. It looks like some mink lashes. So I don't know.
Tam Bam
But there's nothing like. You just always look done with a lash on, though. There's something about just having that lash. You wake up in the morning. But then another thing is, I always feel like I cannot wash my face good with them lashes on.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah. Cause you're gonna wash them off.
Tam Bam
You gotta wash around them. And I just like going like this, you know, Just like, scrubbing my face. And you can't do that with the lash. So what's next, bitch? Cause I'm gonna go with the gas.
A.J. Holiday
That was the last.
Tam Bam
That was the last one.
A.J. Holiday
So basic bullshit. Like, why anybody would, like, buy some shit instead. I don't know. I just. I don't. I don't know.
Tam Bam
And you looked at that game and thought it was fun because.
A.J. Holiday
But it's some people listening right now who not even listening right now. Just in my life, I. I begin text messages. I don't know. Just because I don't have kids, people think I got all this excess money. And I'm here to tell y' all psa. I do not. Okay, there. I like spending money on house shit on me, first of all. On me, on me.
Tam Bam
Yeah.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah. So now I. I get these text messages for, like, real money, and I'm like, what. What about me? Like, what am I showing anybody to make them think that I can just give this out this month and not have to worry about it?
Tam Bam
I don't. Yeah. I don't like people who. You see them living in excess and then asking to borrow shit. That's my thing.
A.J. Holiday
Exactly.
Tam Bam
It's like, oh, now you want to borrow my money to do the shit you should have done with. With yours? That I don't like.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah. And that's what be happening, because you see how they be moving. And then the minute if you say something, it's an argument.
Tam Bam
Like, they very, very flashy and Then one of their parents died, and then they made a gofundme to pay for it. And I'm like, really? Because y', all, the way y' all live and buy expensive things and clothes and designer everything and all these lavish vacations and now y' all can't afford to bury your parent is crazy.
A.J. Holiday
Nobody had life insurance, right?
Tam Bam
Like, it's weird. You better sell some of them bags, bitch, because I don't know what to tell you.
A.J. Holiday
And that's the thing in the black community, like, we buying all this stuff and don't have life insurance, right? You know what I'm saying? Like, you can get a real cheap policy on a young, healthy person, right? Ladies, you got baby daddies. Put some life insurance on them. At least you get something in death, right?
Tam Bam
You don't get nothing in life.
A.J. Holiday
Hopefully it ain't soon and early in his life, right? At some point you're gonna get paid back for the heartache, right?
Tam Bam
So, okay, you got anything else to add? Because I got a dumb bitch story.
A.J. Holiday
No, no, that's it. And I want. I did want to go through like a little budget thing, but.
Tam Bam
Yeah, but go ahead, because that's probably the best information that they would get from this today.
A.J. Holiday
It is not really even a budget. For real. It's like, I don't know. Is this how much we be spending on shit? Wig install, 250? I feel like it's more than that.
Tam Bam
Oh, no, you just gonna talk about how much is spending. No, I'm about to do the dumb bitch story. They know how many they know. They nobody up. We gotta tell them.
A.J. Holiday
Look, before. Look, before we get into the dumb story, y' all just know this. Our whole. This, the whole economy is about to change. You better start saving your money. Yeah, that. That is really the gist of this conversation. Save your fucking money. Stop spending money on bullshit. Stop eating out all the time. Like the restaurants can't cook better than me. I'm always disappointed when I go eat out. I be pissed every fucking time. Okay? I took my people's out for his birthday. The bill was almost like $350 or something like that. He didn't like his steak. He didn't like his food. So that. That bothers me because I know I could have cook a bomb ass steak at the house. Could have get steak and head. I mean, eggs.
Tam Bam
No, you said it right. Anyway.
A.J. Holiday
All right, go ahead, Tammy.
Tam Bam
All right. This dumbest story is from sag. I ain't gonna say your name. You thought I was gonna say Your name. All right. It says keep my name confidential. I don't know these that.
A.J. Holiday
Keep my name out your mouth.
Tam Bam
Okay, so, hey, ladies, let me just start by saying I absolutely love your podcast. I've been listening for a little over a year now, but literally went back and listened to every episode. We talk back as the only reason I even listen to podcasts now. I be bored waiting till Thursday for a new episode. Lol. Thank you, friend. We love you too, home girl.
A.J. Holiday
Homegirl.
Tam Bam
All right, let's get to the dirt. I remember when I was in my early 20s, I'm mid-30s now. I was very infatuated with this young lady. I had been Facebook friends with her for years, and I was just so interested in the life she portrayed. I ended up running into her at a party of a mutual friend, and we actually hit it off. We hung out a few more times with friends until she finally agreed to let me take her out. We went out, she insisted on picking me up. We had a great time. By the end of the day, we were being followed. The repo man came and took her car. I wasn't approved about it or anything. We went out again. We had sex once, and I bought her a new car. She stopped seeing me soon after I bought her the car. Stating I was goddamn bitches is buying bitches cars. Right? Stating I was too nice, but had gotten into a relationship with a mutual. Mutual friend I met through her. I met her through. So the girl got into a relationship with a mutual friend that this person met through the girl.
A.J. Holiday
Okay, I get it. Yeah.
Tam Bam
So after all that, I continue to be friends with her, giving her money now and then. And I'm the godmother of her daughter. I'm a super simp bitch, but I love my God baby. Lol.
A.J. Holiday
Girl, that's your God baby now.
Tam Bam
Yep, that's her God baby. She got a baby. I guess the girl got with a man and I asked her to be the godmother.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah.
Tam Bam
Cause you sipping. You buying shit. Might as well.
A.J. Holiday
Yes.
Tam Bam
You too nice. Yeah. Cause you too fucking nice. I need a car. Listen, I want one of them 1200amonth cars that AJ was talking about. Can you give me one big bitch.
A.J. Holiday
Since you giving out cars around this. Like what?
Tam Bam
Right?
A.J. Holiday
I. Let me find out. Let me find out. The ladies be simping the biggest trick. Let me. Let me. Women are the biggest tricks. That's why I don't understand what men be talking about. Like. And first of all, the real gold diggers trick. First, obviously, I don't Mind spending money on a dude? I don't.
Tam Bam
Especially if I like thinking about ways to buy you.
A.J. Holiday
Yes. And I want to see you and I want to smell you a certain way. Absolutely. Like, I want to. The same way men be wanting to make your life easier when they actually love you. That's exactly how women come through for men, right?
Tam Bam
Or women apparently come through for you.
A.J. Holiday
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Go ahead. Get you a girlfriend, girl.
Tam Bam
This came through an email because I sliding your DMS if you buy cars. Hey, friend, I love you.
A.J. Holiday
She ain't trying to be no friend. She probably with now. She like, man, these be using people, right? She went to a man. I wonder. You fucking with men now. Let us know, right?
Tam Bam
Come back to the other side. It's rough over here too, though. Bitch, I ain't gonna hold you if you ain't came. Just know it's rough over here.
A.J. Holiday
What's your last name? It's hard everywhere. I think I already pretty much gave it. Right. Get y' all some fucking life insurance. Stop spending money on bullshit. Get y' all some. Some cryptocurrency. Okay. I think our financial. I work in the financial sector, so I could tell y' all firsthand. Shit about to be different. By 2030, it's gonna look a whole lot different. And this year, damn near over with. So they definitely setting us up for the Okie doke. If you think you're gonna keep putting money under your mattress, that ain't gonna work. We're gonna be wiping our ass with twenties.
Tam Bam
Mm.
A.J. Holiday
Okay. So.
Tam Bam
Okay. My thing is, you know, do the things that definitely make you feel beautiful, but have balance. Don't blow all your money on frivolous things. Don't blow all your money on a Chloe belt. You don't need that belt. You can get just a regular chain belt, and then, you know. And then get something else that, you know, makes you feel good. And then save some. It's gotta be some balance. That's all I'm saying. You know, so that. That's what I. Cause I don't say, like, don't go around here walking around looking crazy. Cause AJ Said save your money. I still want you to look nice.
A.J. Holiday
Now you can look nice. Fashion Nova. Put cotton in it. Don't buy all that polyester bullshit.
Tam Bam
Don't.
A.J. Holiday
You can get some nice stuff off of Fashion Nova. You just gotta tell them what type of material you looking for. That's how I shop on Fashion Nova. I put cotton or linen. Everything else is polyester. And I. And a lot of the high end designer stuff be polyester too.
Tam Bam
So people be selling the good stuff. It'll come it like the bitch on the picture look nice and then it come to you and looking like some shit you could have bought out the hair store.
A.J. Holiday
And it be having irregular shit. Like, I got a jumpsuit in there right now, one leg longer than the other.
Tam Bam
Yeah. So that's why I'm just like going revolve. I like revolve.
A.J. Holiday
I love revolve. I got so much shit in my man. I got like a million dollars worth of shit.
Tam Bam
You need to have a yard sale. That's what I keep saying. I need to have. Like, I just need to find a way to sell all this. It's so much with tags on it, I can't even fit. I don't go nowhere for it. Like, I just need to sell Poshmark that I thought would be cute on me. And then you look up why I bought that. That's not for me.
A.J. Holiday
Your style be changing anyway.
Tam Bam
We're getting off on a tangent, y'. All. We say your shit so we can go, bitch.
A.J. Holiday
All right, y'.
Tam Bam
All.
A.J. Holiday
If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram. Kick it Tam.
Tam Bam
Y' all follow me on y' all follow me on Instagram. Official Tam. Bam. I love y' all so much. Also follow our our podcast page. We Talk Back podcast.
A.J. Holiday
Go look for us and click like and subscribe on YouTube. And we need y' all to subscribe again on all the streaming apps as well. Right? They don't have not streaming the screaming. You know I'm Geechee. No, we ain't doing that. I am Geechee. Just know that. So y' all know what I meant to say?
Tam Bam
Yeah, but yeah, follow us and then leave us a review too. Let us know what we're doing. Right. What y' all want more of from us. And we'll see y' all soon. All right.
A.J. Holiday
Remember, Speak Now.
Tam Bam
Oh, you doing that? You're doing that part. Okay.
A.J. Holiday
Yes, speak. Speak now.
Tam Bam
And never, never stop speaking.
A.J. Holiday
And hold your budget.
Tam Bam
Never stop fucking speaking. We want to hear from y' all Deuces.
A.J. Holiday
We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Carlos Miller
Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Just kidding. I am the boss. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. And building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or even making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com As a football.
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Carlos Miller
Talk about stepping up.
A.J. Holiday
Bang Bang.
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It's time to level up your game.
Tam Bam
Introducing the all new ESPN app. All of ESPN all in one place. Your home for the most live sports and the best championship moments.
A.J. Holiday
The electricity is palpable.
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Tam Bam
With no annual contract required.
A.J. Holiday
It's the ultimate fan experience.
Tam Bam
Level up. For More on the ESPN app or at stream.espn.com Sign up now.
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Made from plants and sizzles on a grill.
A.J. Holiday
Impossible.
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Feels virtuous and tastes reckless.
A.J. Holiday
Impossible.
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Easy to pick up and hard to put down.
A.J. Holiday
Impossible. Yeah it is.
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Burgers, hot dogs and chicken. Everything you want from meat. Without the stuff you don't. All flavor, no trade offs.
A.J. Holiday
It's impossible.
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Tam Bam
This is an iHeart podcast.
Hosts: TamBam & AJ
Date: August 28, 2025
Podcast Network: The Black Effect & iHeartRadio
In this episode, TamBam and AJ dive into the real cost of "Black don't crack"—the cultural pride and pressure around maintaining youthful, flawless appearances as Black women. They explore the intersection of beauty, self-care, societal expectations, and the hefty price tags behind it all, with their signature blend of humor, honesty, and cultural critique. No topic is off-limits: they break down everything from cosmetic procedures and beauty budgets to the deeper issues of self-worth, financial priorities, and the sometimes toxic cycle of over-consumption in the Black community.
[03:23–04:43]
[05:29–06:44]
[06:57–09:19]
[09:21–11:25]
[12:29–16:25]
[18:13–31:33]
[31:33–36:42]
[37:42–43:32]
[43:32–60:00+]
[59:40+]
[66:45–70:09]
[57:50–66:33]
TamBam and AJ wrap up with a heartfelt reminder: love yourself, invest in what truly matters, and don’t let consumerism define your worth. Splurge if you want, but save, plan, and keep your eyes open to the bigger picture—because “Black don’t crack, but it do cost,” and that bill always comes due.
For full details, advice, and plenty of laughs, listen to the complete episode on your favorite podcast platform!