Cuffing Season 2025

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Talk Back – "Cuffing Season 2025"

Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Released: August 21, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of We Talk Back dives into the phenomenon of "cuffing season"—the cultural, psychological, and sometimes biological drive to couple up as the weather gets colder. With their trademark humor, unfiltered opinions, and candid repartee, TamBam and AJ Holiday explore the stages of cuffing season, building your seasonal roster, the dos and don'ts of modern dating, and how to keep your standards (and your sense of self) intact. They also touch on recent pop culture moments, deal with hilarious dating horror stories, and break down the "Cuffing Season Loyalty Program." Their mission? To help listeners (especially Black women) navigate the "Sea of Men" with grace, laughter, and a critical but loving eye.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Catching Up: Weekend Recaps & Pop Culture

[03:01–09:09]

• The hosts kick off with updates on their weekends—AJ's "adult" escapades versus TamBam's TV binge.
  • TamBam: "I've been slacking on my gym. I started back yesterday cause my birth month came and I was bullshitting all July." (04:00)
  • They discuss Amanda Seales' commanding presence in debates (Amanda vs. 20 Conservatives) and touch on race and rhetoric with references to Candace Owens (05:05).
  • TV & Movie reviews:
    • His Dark Materials series—AJ recommends for its take on subconscious and alternate realities (07:23).
    • Wednesday (TV) and Weapons (movie)—TamBam shares mixed feelings and laughs at a supposedly scary movie that turned out comedic (08:36).

2. Viral Relationship Moments & Black Love

[09:11–12:13]

• The saga of Georgia Rain's public campaign to woo David Banner, and reflections on dating preferences and representation for Black women.
  • AJ: "So she started campaigning for this, like, I don't know, February or March… after 179 days my man came and got me, David Banner." (10:48)
  • Both hosts comment on the diversity of "fine-ass" Black women and stereotypes in Black men’s dating choices.
  • TamBam: "When y’all men say like this—'Oh, all the women ghetto ass'—that’s a damn lie. So many different types of Black women out here." (11:37)

3. Current Events: The Georgia Verdict Mishap

[12:24–16:35]

• A Fulton County judge reads a Black defendant as “guilty” when the verdict was “not guilty.”
  • TamBam: "Subconsciously, he wanted to tell that man he was guilty." (12:40)
  • Conversation on the criminal justice system’s complexities, how charges are stacked, and the psychological impact of wrongful accusations.
  • AJ: "They just trumped the charges up. They just add all these different charges...this is some weird shit how they…" (15:15)

4. Classic Black Cinema – The "Belly" Scene Revelation

[16:52–21:06]

• Discussing Taral Hicks’ recent interview and the reveal that her infamous sex scene in "Belly" with DMX was a body double.
  • AJ: "She was like, 'I would've never done a scene like that. I got kids, I'm a mom, I'm a wife.'" (18:54)
  • Dialogue about being typecast after explicit film scenes and industry pitfalls, including AI deepfakes and the writer/actor strikes threatening authentic artistry (20:38).

5. AI in Entertainment & Social Media

[21:14–22:20]

• How AI is encroaching into music, acting, and sketch video production.
  • Both are wary and yet amused, with TamBam wondering, "Some of those Facebook/TikTok stories be looking AI, right?" (21:43)

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The Main Event: Cuffing Season 2025

Introduction & Calendar

[22:24–23:04; 26:43–29:00]

• AJ’s Cuffing Season Calendar:
  • August 1–31: Scouting phase—"You supposed to be setting up your roster right now." (26:43)
  • Rest of Season: Drafting, final cuts, and “the big game” (Valentine’s Day).

Archetypes on the Roster

[29:09–37:37]

• They outline typical faces on your cuffing roster, with comedic qualifiers:
  • The Flexer: Great IG, but "questionable funds." (32:58)
  • Vacation Bae: Good for trips; "after that, won’t do shit else." (33:10)
  • Sneaky Link: Can turn into more but rarely does. (33:45)
  • Homebody: Likes to chill; maybe too chill. (34:04)
  • Breadwinner: Generous, but maybe boring. TamBam: "I can be the lively one!" (36:14)
  • Toxic All-Star: "Fun, dramatic, unforgettable… usually who I end up with." (37:12)
  • Memorable banter about toxic relationships:
    • AJ: "I like a little smidget of toxic—wait, I lied real fast. I don't like nothing toxic." (37:29)
    • TamBam: "Just a little taste…it just spices things up." (37:37)

Why Do People Get Cuffed?

[39:00–45:12]

• Biology, culture, psychology? The hosts unpack why cuffing season persists.

  • Less sunlight, more hibernation instincts, loneliness, holidays all play a part.

    • AJ: “Shorter days, shorter moods… Less sunlight equals lower serotonin, vitamin D… so a cuffing partner.” (40:15)

  • Cloths vs. vibes vs. culture: Do Black folks “cuff” for Christmas and Valentine’s pressure or more primal needs?

  • TamBam: “Matching pajamas with my mama every year—this year, Lord, bless me with matching pajamas with my man!” (41:02)

Family & Social Pressures

• Navigating family interrogations at Thanksgiving/Christmas and the annual “where’s your boo?”
  • Jokes about AI/rent-a-bae services and even AI boyfriend videos for social media.

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Building the Cuffing Loyalty Program

The Points System

[55:20–70:57]

• The hosts invent a “Cuffing Season Loyalty Reward Card” system for tracking potential suitors:
• Negative behaviors (like endless “wyd” texts) subtract points.
  • AJ: “Not entertaining wyds for cuffing season. If the man actually wants to see you, he’ll make a plan.” (57:18)
  • TamBam: Dislikes the word "type" in text lingo: "If you say it more than twice...I'mma call you right back and never call back." (57:39)
• Positive behaviors:
  • Bringing snacks (+10), taking out the trash (+10), consistent good morning texts (+15), making the bed (+20), remembering/watching your favorite show together (+25), surviving Thanksgiving dinner with family (+50), matching pajama photos (+75), Valentine's dinner with flowers (+100).
  • “Never come to a woman’s house empty-handed” (58:23)
  • “A nice, clean man that smashes all night, takes the sheets off and puts them in the washing machine? You get 30 points for that.” (60:48)

Cuffing Season Tiers

[69:09–71:13] The “program” breaks down as:

• Bronze Tier (1–3 months): Texts, occasional leftovers, shared Netflix, no holidays or parents.
• Silver Tier (3–5 months): Weekend sleepovers, rides to airport; no family intros, Valentine’s TBD.
• Gold Tier (6+ months): Matching pajamas, family holidays, birthdays; be careful, “risk of being cut once spring starts.”
• Platinum Tier (all-star): Key to apartment, shared Uber Eats, maybe a vacation—restrictions: “may expire when the weather breaks and the streets reopen.”

Real-Life Draft Tales & Dating Practices

[50:33–54:39]

• TamBam has “two and a possible” suitors—one older, one much younger ("he the one I like the most, it's crazy").
• Debate on simultaneously dating multiple people.
  • AJ: “I can’t talk to more than one person at the same time...My bad. That’s just how I do.” (52:31)
  • TamBam: “I can entertain multiple, but once I bust it wide open, I kind of lock in." (53:02)

Unlocking "Soft Girl Era"

• Vowing to avoid bitterness and drama, and to be kind to themselves during the holidays (54:11–54:53).

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Standout Quotes & Moments

• On Scouting for Cuffing Season:
  “August 1st through 31st is scouting, okay? You supposed to be setting up your roster right now.” – AJ Holiday [26:43]

• On Relationship Tiers:
  "Weekend sleepovers, rides to the airport… but still no family introductions." – AJ Holiday, on Silver Tier [70:20]

• On the Loyalty Card System:
  "You got to keep track—the good deeds and the bad deeds, right? Because how else are you going to… we need help picking, obviously." – AJ Holiday [56:14]

• On Dating Stereotypes:
  "Quit playing in our face—there’s so many different types of black women out here. Gotta pick one." – TamBam [12:05]

• On Holiday Pressures:
  "Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s… family centered gatherings often bring questions like, ‘So when you trying to get married? Where’s your boo?'" – AJ Holiday [41:42]

• On Letting Go of the Wrong Person:
  "All relationships is how much you could tolerate… that’s it." – AJ Holiday [54:11]
  "Long ass relationships with the wrong person. Be mad as hell at my damn self. But hey, man, life is lessons." – AJ Holiday [53:38]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |-------------|-------------------------------------------| | 03:01–09:09 | Weekend catch-up, pop culture banter | | 09:11–12:13 | Georgia Rain & David Banner saga | | 12:24–16:35 | Georgia verdict mishap & legal system | | 16:52–21:06 | Taral Hicks/'Belly', AI & entertainment | | 21:14–22:20 | AI/fake social media partners | | 26:43–29:00 | Cuffing season schedule & scouting | | 29:09–37:37 | Building your roster, relationship types | | 39:00–45:12 | Why people “cuff”—biology, culture, vibes | | 55:20–70:57 | Cuffing Season loyalty program/points | | 70:57–75:57 | Real-life dating stories & loyalty tier |

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Episode Takeaways

• Cuffing Season is Real: There’s a legitimate (and hilarious) system, with clear stages—from scouting to Valentine's Day.
• Be Selective: Build your “roster” with discernment, using humor and honesty as your guide. Have standards and track who meets them!
• Family & Holidays: Expect family questions; consider the social and emotional reasons for wanting a winter partner.
• Self-Care: Avoid bitterness, embrace your “soft girl era,” and remember it’s better to be alone than linger in the wrong situations.
• Use the Loyalty Program: Whether literally or figuratively, put your potential mates on a points system. Don’t settle for “wyd” energy.
• Representation Matters: Don’t fall for stereotypes—there are all kinds of Black women and men out there.
• Above All, Make It Fun: Approach cuffing season with joy, self-worth, and the readiness to laugh at yourself and your prospects.

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Hosts’ Parting Words:

• TamBam: "Remember, speak now and never hold your bae, never hold your cuff."
• AJ Holiday: "Let’s get cuffed. That part!"

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For more real talk and outrageous advice, catch “We Talk Back” every Thursday on iHeartRadio’s Black Effect Network.

Transcript

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[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black with an opinion. Who talks back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'?

[Tam Bam]

All?

[AJ Holiday]

It's your girl, AJ Holiday, y'. All. It's up.

[Tam Bam]

Tam B. Oh, my bad. It's official. Tam Bam. I love y' all so very, very much. And I missed y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

Even though it's only been seven days, but I still missed y'. All. How's your. How's your weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

I have been having some great weekends, I might say. Okay, tell everybody.

[Tam Bam]

Why?

[AJ Holiday]

Why?

[Tam Bam]

Just tell them.

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely not. I just been doing adult things on the weekends, you know, consistent adult things. Nice little outlet, though.

[Tam Bam]

That's good. That's good. I. My week ain't been. Ain't been like yours. I'll say that. I've been getting a lot of TV in. That's it. I need. Like, I've been slacking on my gym and I can see it in my arms right now. So I'm starting to get your wings back. So now I'm starting back. I started back yesterday, getting back into the gym because my birth month came and I was bullshitting all July. I mean, I had. Fitness is a never ending process. Like you stop a little while and you can. Your body changes quick automatically. So I watched. I watched Amanda Seals versus 20 conservatives.

[AJ Holiday]

I gotta finish Candace Owens first and then that's next on my list.

[Tam Bam]

It was so good. Let me tell you something. Amanda Seals may not be everybody's favorite person because yeah, she was. It was nobody that could handle her. Her mouth.

[AJ Holiday]

You're not about to out talk her and you're not about to out with her. You're not about to out. Intellect. Intellect her nothing. None of that. She. She's a great orator. Orator, right? So she knows how to fucking speak and she knows how to put the words together and she knows I put.

[Tam Bam]

You down without even really trying. I was like, I think that's the.

[AJ Holiday]

Problem people have with her. I also think that's the problem. Black people. I'm. When I say people, I mean black people in particular have with a Candace Owens also, for whatever reason, I feel like black people have a problem with you being funny. Smart and black for real. And. And being able to articulate is like they. They just annoy your ears for some reason. But I like those. My people. I understand why people don't like. I have had my own personal experience that I've talked about on here with Amanda Seals.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

But nonetheless, she's a sweetheart. And I understand some people are just kind of socially awkward sometimes they might say. Some they don't got no business saying. Like, sometimes it's okay to shut the fuck up.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Always gotta talk. One of those people. So that might get on people nerves.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But she is highly opinionated, too.

[Tam Bam]

For me. She just seems. And this is just bae. I don't have a personal experience with her at all. But we was around her one time, wasn't it? I don't know. Anyway, she just seems very combative to me. But in a debate, that's perfect energy.

[AJ Holiday]

Right?

[Tam Bam]

You know, just all the time. I don't. I ever don't feel like it ever turns off, you know, that combative energy. Always ready on go, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

But yeah, like, relax.

[Tam Bam]

That 20. That one ver. One radical versus 20 conservatives was so good. I enjoyed it. Y' all should watch it on YouTube. And then I watched the Katrina documentary that Ryan Cooler put out. That was really good too. Like, it was Katrina from a different perspective than what the news gave us all those years ago. And it was. That was good. I was in here crying watching that. So that's all I did over the weekend was watched a bunch of documentaries. I think I watched. I. I started the Tsunami in Thailand documentary. I just. I think I was just on my natural disaster kick or something. I don't know. But that. And then work. So that was it.

[AJ Holiday]

I did watch some TV this weekend, too.

[Tam Bam]

I started re.

[AJ Holiday]

Watching His Dark Materials because I wanted my. My people to see it. And it was. That's one of my favorite. You ever watch that? His Dark Materials. Y' all should watch that too.

[Tam Bam]

It's.

[AJ Holiday]

It's really how I think life is like the unseen worlds. And everybody has a. It's spelled Damon D, A, E, M O, N. As opposed to demon. So everybody has like a. A demon, which is like a. Essentially your subconscious mind that stays with you. Stays with you your whole life. But it runs around and talk as animal. Like an animal spirit, essentially. But it's a real, real good movie.

[Tam Bam]

I have to see. It's a movie.

[AJ Holiday]

There is a movie, but then it's the series I suggest people to watch. The movie is like a little quick synopsis of the series. But the. The series is way, way, way better.

[Tam Bam]

Let's see if my little friend want to watch that.

[AJ Holiday]

I hate when I start watching tv because you don't know when to stop.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's all I did was watch tv.

[AJ Holiday]

Get your ass off that team.

[Tam Bam]

I tried to watch Wednesday, but for whatever this season, I just won't grasp. It won't grab me like the first.

[AJ Holiday]

What is it?

[Tam Bam]

Wednesday?

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, with the little. Yeah, Adam's family.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. It just won't. I don't know. I don't know. It just ain't doing it for me.

[AJ Holiday]

It might got some little sneaky in there.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, I went. I also went to the movies and I saw Weapons with the kids. The 17 kids that got kidnapped from the school. It was a scary movie and it's supposed to be based on loosely on a true story, but it ended up being kind of funny. Honestly. Honestly, like I was laughing at the end. I wasn't horrified like I thought I was supposed to be. But, yeah, y' all go see that too.

[AJ Holiday]

Shame.

[Tam Bam]

All right, let's get into this.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's do it. All right, so I know Tammy and I have been on this show and we have spoken about this particular, particular fine ass specimen of a black man on We Talk Back. David Banner. Y' all know Michael Blackston, ex girlfriend. And I don't want to. Like, that's not just what she's known as, because she's a dancer, she's a singer, she's an entertainer. Georgia Rain, super fine ass Georgia Raines. So she campaigned, okay. She was fasting from sex. She had been celibate for, I don't know, over 100 some days. Or she just wasn't having sex for a very long time. I don't know when it started, when it stopped. But she said the only person she wanted to get him cookies to was David Banner. So she started campaigning for this, like, I don't know, February or March or something like that. Like, y' all, please tell my man to meet me at such and such, like, real life campaigning. Like, this was from August 8th. She said after 150 days of waiting in the sun, rain and streets with my backpack, my man never picked me up because she kept saying, david Badden, come get me. Okay. She said, I waited for my man for 150 days. Hashtag, David Banner. You tricked me one time. One time too many. I mean, you tricked me again, but I'm tired. No, wait, wait. I mean, you can trick me again, but I'm tired. I gotta Put me first. I'm going back outside. I almost missed my summer playing with you. Monday, I'm outside real girls. So it's just like a bunch of different random ass posts like that every couple weeks. My man got until Monday to come get me. She like, standing in the rain under a tree waiting for David Banner with her bags. And, like, the last picture she posted, okay, this was on. This is three days ago. So over the weekend, she is posted up after 179 days. My man came and got me David Banner. Thank y' all for telling him. I was outside with my overnight bag. And then she added some of her friend. Some of her people tell. But they saved her. Saved a relationship. I don't know. Were they really dating or. She really campaigned for David Banner. He came through. Is she fine?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, she's fine. I'm looking. I don't. I don't know her music. But now I want to go see what it is because she is beautiful. She looked like what he would want to date in my mind, you know, Afro chocolate. Yeah. But I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm kind of knowing what they want.

[Tam Bam]

I know I love me some David Banner.

[AJ Holiday]

They don't be knowing what they want. She dated Michael Blackston for many years, and you see what he ended up with, right? Asian persuasion. Okay. This girl is super fine. She don't got no kids, so, like, all the flavors is out here. So when y' all men say like this. Oh, all the women, ghetto ass. That's a damn lie. It is so many different types of black women out here. If you really wanted one. Yeah, okay. Natural bust down, lace front dress.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Is all out here. Gotta pick one.

[AJ Holiday]

Quit playing in our face.

[Tam Bam]

Congratulations to her for getting our man.

[AJ Holiday]

No, it's just like, he's both of ours. Let's keep him at her house. Different Banner. Call me.

[Tam Bam]

Right. If that don't work out. If you get back outside. All right. So a Georgia job. A Georgia job. A Georgia judge flubs verdict reading, tells defendant he is guilty. Y', all, this Fulton county judgment spoke while reading a defendant's verdict in the Georgia courtroom Friday, telling him he was guilty when the jury deemed him not guilty. Now, you know he wanted to tell that black man he was guilty. He wanted him so badly. Subconsciously, he wanted to tell that man he was guilty. And he talking about he messed up reading. No, you. That's what you wanted to say. So Alton Oliver was on trial over the 2022 killing of a Fulton county deputy and faced six counts, including three of murder video from inside the courtroom shows the moment the judge accidentally told Oliver he was guilty. Now, after confirming with the jury that the paperwork was correct, the judge read the verdict. We the jury, find the defendant guilty as to all six counts. Oliver and his legal team sat in silence, but people in the courtroom started audibly questioning the judge's reading, prompting him to double check the paper. He said, did I say not? The judge asked a room to room. To which number of people replied no.

[AJ Holiday]

We heard people say no.

[Tam Bam]

Right. He apologized and reread the statement, this time correctly. People in the courtroom laughed and applauded. Laugh ain't funny about that.

[AJ Holiday]

Not at all.

[Tam Bam]

My life talking about. Did I not say not.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, he playing with somebody life in this lifetime and the next. Because I'm pretty sure they wanted to give his ass 20 consecutive life terms. Y' all think that should only count for this lifetime? One thing them people know who are in power. They know how the world actually work. Right. Why else would you give somebody four consecutive life term sentences if it doesn't go into another lifetime? It doesn't make sense. So when people come back with the same transgressions and end up doing the same, they got you stuck in a cycle, lifetime after lifetime after lifetime after lifetime. And maybe on that fifth lifetime, you might be regular. Don't be out here committing crimes because they gonna send us your ass to 20 lifetimes of you'll be stuck.

[Tam Bam]

That's crazy. But shout out to my brother for getting out. Not guilty. Ow.

[AJ Holiday]

I gotta read into that case. I wonder, like, what was the. Like the whole. I didn't even hear about that.

[Tam Bam]

Right. I don't even know what it was. Right. Because it was three counts of murder. So he killed three people in the depth, including the deputy, and got off. What happened?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't think he killed three people. They can give you, like he said.

[Tam Bam]

Three counts of murder.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but that they. This. They just trumped the charges up. They just add all these different charges. You can have manslaughter and murder and attempted murder altogether at the same time. This is some weird shit how they.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but no, it's. Three people died.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I don't think he killed three people, though.

[Tam Bam]

But he was accused of killing three people.

[AJ Holiday]

They said he has three murder charges. But he killed a deputy. One person.

[Tam Bam]

Right, but so what they were saying is it's three motherfuckers dead and we're accusing you of it. I want to know what happened.

[AJ Holiday]

No, they. He only killed one person.

[Tam Bam]

How are they going to count three Council murder.

[AJ Holiday]

He would do that. They will put. They'll put 20 charges on you for the same type of. They all kind of like, be similar. Like, the same type of charges.

[Tam Bam]

Three murder charges for one person. Are they? Yes. Yeah. They just.

[AJ Holiday]

The trump just to. Just to. Just to boost your time up, essentially. So count one, murder, not guilty. Count two, murder, not guilty. Count three, there's no way he killed three police officers and was found not guilty. Like, what was the situation?

[Tam Bam]

So I can kill one person and they can charge me three times.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

With a one. One person.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's see how many. Let's see how many did they shoot? Multiple people. In a rare move, the defendant. Jurors heard. Yeah, we gonna have to come back to this.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I need that more because if.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all know about it, let us know. We might have to come back to this. I think it was a black man he killed.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

Anyway, we'll come back to that. Not today. Yeah, I'm trying to be happy. All right, so y' all know Belly is like, top five black film all time, right? Right? Yes. Tarot Hicks, you know, chocolate brown. Brown. Little fine. Little fine. She recently did an interview on a show, and they asked her about the infamous. Y' all remember? Because everybody fell in love with DMX that day when he snatched. Snatched Keisha ass up and had her in the. Damn.

[Tam Bam]

Nail her to the mattress.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Had in a little wheelbarrow. Right quick, girl. I just. I can close my eyes right now and see that scene, like when his butt and his leg up. One leg hiked up on the side, and he just.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Yeah. Sorry. Did you have a moment?

[AJ Holiday]

That was me this weekend acting out. When women, we be acting, we really be acting. Having sex. Okay. Not for real acting, because I'd be dead ass serious. But when I think about it after the fact, you'll be doing too much. You are not that sexy. I be so sexy on the dick in my mind and probably making the ugliest faces of all time.

[Tam Bam]

Crazy, like, looking at his dick like that. I know my dick ain't doing all of that.

[AJ Holiday]

This showing out for a. Anyway, she said that it was a body double. It wasn't even her. And she didn't even know about the scene until the movie premiered. So imagine like, you just. You a mom act. She was like, I would have never done a scene like that. I got kids. Like, I'm a mom. I'm a wife. Like, I would have never done a scene like that. And the. The director just slid that in on her with a body double. So she was getting that ass 12 by DMX. I mean, how, though? How was that?

[Tam Bam]

Not her. That's what I'm saying. Like, how did they do that especially the technology was not as advanced back then as it is now.

[AJ Holiday]

It might have been. They slapped her face on this person.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

She turned over in the bed. She was all sweaty and glistening.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

I remember that. That was her.

[Tam Bam]

That was her to me. And it's still hurting me. I'll give a what you say that will forever be.

[AJ Holiday]

We saw them titties girl.

[Tam Bam]

But then she also said that she was upset about it because she started getting offered nothing but wrong. That included, you know, sexual explicit scenes. And she, you know, had no. She didn't want to do any of those. So it kind of. Because think about what we've seen her in since.

[AJ Holiday]

Right?

[Tam Bam]

You know, so.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And I can imagine, like all the black films was probably trying to get her naked in this.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

Running out. Yeah. So she got typecasted after that. That is up.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that is. This is why you got to be careful, like, what you get naked for when it comes to, like, acting in film. Like, you know, because she said back then you couldn't.

[AJ Holiday]

You didn't have any say. So like, how.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

How do you not have any say? Because I guess if you give me a script, right. I do what's in the script. We film this movie and in the day that I'm off, you deviate outside of this script and add some in there like that. Like, how do you not get sued for that?

[Tam Bam]

Right. And have me looking like I'm on there and I didn't even know.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you got to read them contracts, cuz.

[Tam Bam]

What? Yeah, Redefine print. And now they don't even have to get a body double. They AI your AI you.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. So, yeah, I was talking to my. My homegirl, you know, Priscilla, and she just was saying, like, how crazy like, the. The industry is right now. Like when. When those people went on strike, the writers and all that stuff. Like, it was definitely for good reason. Like, they are literally trying to replace you because you look at social media. Like people are creating whole movies, whole storylines with AI characters.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

There are so many AI artists right now. Like, I almost want to create one.

[Tam Bam]

Mm, bitch.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm about to be a singer.

[Tam Bam]

Like, might as well.

[AJ Holiday]

I could write I'm about to put an AI artist out.

[Tam Bam]

Have you seen like, those little short stories? They be like, on Facebook or TikTok. And you don't never get to see the end. They'll show you get on my nerve.

[AJ Holiday]

I'd be stuck trying to find the other part.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

It's always like some rich man family abusing the lady, like, wanting to see the end.

[Tam Bam]

I know what happened so bad. But you cannot find that end piece.

[AJ Holiday]

You think those. You think that's AI?

[Tam Bam]

Some of it I do. Because it'd be like the. It'd be so cheesy. Right? But it'd be entertaining. But it's like, so cheesy. Like, did somebody really put this together? Ain't no way.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, y' all paid act like, now that is AI. Because I would always think, ain't no way they paid people to do this.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I think it's AI for sure.

[AJ Holiday]

Interesting.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. We have me in the chokehold. Shame I won't click on another one.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Because now they start just popping up on your timeline. And one time you click on some. It just. They just keep now putting it in front of you.

[Tam Bam]

They forcing it on you.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all, it is August. All right? We are end of August too. Yeah. The year is almost over and you know what time it is.

[Tam Bam]

Yay. Cuffing season is among us. Is afoot.

[AJ Holiday]

So, yeah, that's what we getting into this week.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Are you ready to get cuffed? Are you cuffed? Are you preparing for cuffing? Like we're gonna talk about?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

AJ that came up with a new cuffing program, so. This shit is funny, y'. All. So y' all stay tuned. We'll be right back with it.

[State Farm Announcer]

Hey, fam, if you're like me, you're thinking about how to level up in your career, maybe you're fresh out of college, just started in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long term success. They've been a steady presence in our communities, and they know that having the right support early on can make all the difference. State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's about staying focused, staying grounded, and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State forum is there. Find out [e-mail] this Labor Day.

[Commercial Announcer]

Say goodbye to spills, stains and overpriced furniture with washablesofas.com featuring Annabe, the only machine washable sofa inside and out where designer quality meets budget friendly pricing. Sofas start at just $6.99, making it the perfect time to upgrade your space. Innovate pet friendly, stain resistant and interchangeable slipcovers are made with high performance fabric built for real life. You'll love the cloud like comfort of hypoallergenic high resilience foam that never needs fluffing and a durable steel frame that stands the test of time with modular pieces you can rearrange anytime. It's a sofa that adapts to your life. Now through Labor Day. Get up to 60% off site [e-mail] Every order comes with a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not in love, send it back for a full refund. No return shipping, no restocking fees, every penny back. Shop [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[AJ Holiday]

Ah come on. Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient.

[Tech/Product Announcer]

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[AJ Holiday]

Whoa, this thing moves.

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[AJ Holiday]

Y', all, so today is August 21st. Okay? So we are officially 21 days into cuffin season. Scouting started August 1st. Okay. So August 1st through the 31st is scouting, okay? It's still summertime. You're supposed to be outside Lincoln talking. I mean, if you wanted to people who can't talk to people in real life, maybe you're on social media, I don't know. But you supposed to be setting up your roster right now, right? Okay. You're scouting right now. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Right. So have you been scouting?

[AJ Holiday]

No, I haven't been scouting. Okay. I might be off the bench. I don't know, bitch. I might be. I might be on the bench.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, you might be tough. Would it be.

[AJ Holiday]

I might be cuffed? Yeah, I might be cuffed a little.

[Tam Bam]

Bit early this year. You got it out the way, didn't you? I. I'm usually cuffed.

[AJ Holiday]

I just winter time, summertime, which I'll be trying to get uncuffed.

[Tam Bam]

But I'm saying you like, you got re cuffed. You uncuffed and re cuffed very quickly.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I talked to one of my guy friends and he was like, you move fast. And I'm like, why not.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Why not slow?

[AJ Holiday]

When. When a man wife died, he already know know he who he about to marry again. Okay, what are we talking about? Why should I? I don't even have time to be moving slow. Y' all got time because I don't.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

So if it ain't working, you got to get out of there. If. But if it is working, why not just go ahead and try it out, see if it works long term and start again if you need to. I never scared to start all over. That's my thing.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I never scared I be staying places.

[AJ Holiday]

Because they scared to be alone and they scared to start all over.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I just never really lock in all the way with somebody, especially once it start getting cold. I like, I always end up with matching pajamas with my mama. So we gonna see what happened this year.

[AJ Holiday]

So right. This cuffing season is for you. Right now it's scouting. Who do you have on the rasta pasta? Anybody on the vigenda? Okay.

[Tam Bam]

In August, I actually do have some. Not vagenda yet, but they're on the agenda. It's the one that I do. I got my eye on or they got the item, actually, yeah. It's more than one. May the best man win, period. But no vaginda yet. No agenda, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All. So we're here to help y' all try and build a roster, right? So I think there's, like, a certain different archetypes you should probably be looking for or probably already have, right? To try to wean out who's who. I think we all got a foodie. No, the who gonna take us to eat at least.

[Tam Bam]

Well, it says. I'm confused right here, because the foodie always down to eat, never down to pay. This the one we want to get rid of?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. Because I'm about to say never down to pay. How. How we get down? But let me tell you something, while we talking about a never down the pay, I had this guy that I thought was, like, coming like that, right? Based on his social media, he looked like he like that, you know? And I actually know him in real life. I met him in D.C. a couple years back or whatever. So he asked me. He called me one morning who was like, you busy? I was like, I'm at work. He was like, check your text. So he was like, can you shoot me $50 real quick? Oh. So I was like, is it. I think this is a test. So I said, so Apple, pay him 50. Like, there you go. He's like, I give it back. No, he's like, shoot me 50. I'll give it right back. So it's only 50, right? Whatever. Some time went by, I ain't heard from him, and he. I said, My $50 back. So I messaged him like, hey, I want to get my nails done. Can you send my $50? And he was like, if I had it, I would send it with zeros on the end. You ain't got.

[AJ Holiday]

Pardon me long. Pardon me.

[Tam Bam]

I was appalled.

[AJ Holiday]

So wait a minute. I'm always appalled when a man asks for money. Because didn't, you know, like, I. I'm not gonna say I just be asking men for money, because I really don't, Right? But I do expect you to, because I do stuff for. For whoever I'm with, too. So it's just, hey, girl, get out of here. It has to be like, I'm just asking for reciprocity, essentially, right? I'm not a real gold digger. I am a gold digger at heart, okay? But I don't be really digging for gold, but I'm trying to figure out the thought process of a grown man hitting me up, whom I've never asked for money, right? Never started this with you. Never ask you for anything, and all of a sudden you think you can message me? Do I look like a lick?

[Tam Bam]

Apparently I look. And I was like, oh, this is a test. It was a lick. It was a lick. He probably called.

[AJ Holiday]

He hit.

[Tam Bam]

Probably. And he fine, too. So he probably hit up like 10 and said, let me get $50. And all of us was like, oh, he testing.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know, Tammy.

[Tam Bam]

It might have just been you, nigga.

[AJ Holiday]

Better never test me. Like, that is the quickest way to get rid of me. Ask me for money or ask me for a ride too many times, I'm out of there. So he's the flexer. Good IG presence, questionable funds.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yep, he's definitely that.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so he is off the roster. Okay. He's not in the starting lineup.

[Tam Bam]

The vacation bay. Oh, that's all right. That I listen. Disappears after. Definitely have a birthday vacation. Bae. Like, he's taking me away from my birthday, but after that, we'll do nothing else. But he'll take me on the trip, but he ain't doing shit else. Damn, man.

[AJ Holiday]

What the heck? What type of is that?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

That's supposed to last to one of y'. All get a. Like, a real relationship, I guess, right?

[Tam Bam]

I mean, I appreciate the trips. Then there's the sneaky link. Knows their role, no question asked. You can't cuff that.

[AJ Holiday]

Sneaky links be turning into boyfriends sometimes.

[Tam Bam]

Sometimes. But it's not all. It's not often, though.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. You sleep with somebody long enough or often enough.

[Tam Bam]

People.

[AJ Holiday]

Men be falling in love, too.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, they do. The homebody, Netflix snacks and vibes. I don't see he can turn into a boyfriend. I feel like I like a nigga who don't like to be outside, but I don't like that you don't want to do nothing else but sit in the house. Now you're gonna have to date me, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Well, I mean, listen, the homebody might be. I don't know, maybe. He has a very busy week, and on the weekends, he just wants to relax and chill, and he's hoping that you would like to be included in those activities.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but that's not enough. That's not enough.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, you can get. You get to talk without them really around.

[Tam Bam]

They ain't never been on no dates. Y' all got a kid with a man who ain't never took you on a date? No.

[AJ Holiday]

No, look, I like vacation, babe. Y', all, listen. My first date was on vacation for this Current situation. I don't even call it situation. My current. Whatever it is, you can't even call.

[Tam Bam]

You put a name on what you got going.

[AJ Holiday]

I can, but do I want to? I don't know. I don't want to. I don't want. I don't like to go sour. I try not to. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Girl.

[AJ Holiday]

My man. My man. My man. Okay. What. What's the girl? Tiana Taylor. She was. What's the guy? You know. I know. You know. Aaron Pierre.

[Tam Bam]

That's Mufasa.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Aaron Pierre. She said he handles her like a cup of tea. I am being handled like a cup of tea, y'. All. You know you had a hot cup of tea. You got to walk real slow, gentle. Be real careful. That is how I'm being carried right now.

[Tam Bam]

I love it.

[AJ Holiday]

So nice. Okay, cup of tea. Cup of tea. Me, please.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You like me. Take me somewhere, right?

[Tam Bam]

Make me feel special. That's what I always tell them. I need to be made to feel special. And nothing happens until then. I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

Because what choice do you have but to love who you.

[Tam Bam]

Who.

[AJ Holiday]

Who this person is?

[Tam Bam]

If they make me feel.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, you have. No.

[Tam Bam]

All right, the next one. The breadwinner, my favorite. Secure, generous, Maybe boring, though. I don't care nothing about that because I can be the lively one. You can be boring because I got all the energy for both of us.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't want no rich stuffy. It don't gotta be like a hybrid stuffy.

[Tam Bam]

It don't say stuffy. It say boring.

[AJ Holiday]

Stuffy is boring. Like, do the same every day. He might go to the gym. This is routine. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

I don't care about that.

[AJ Holiday]

He got a little bag.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. That's good. Go take your ass to the gym and come home and eat your sandwich and go to bed and do it again. That's what I want. I don't want you being too. Let me be the spontaneous one. Let me add adventure to your life. You go to work. Then lastly, the toxic all star. Fun, dramatic and unforgettable. That's usually who I end up with, though.

[AJ Holiday]

Driving your ass nuts through the winter.

[Tam Bam]

Exactly.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Calling you like, am I tripping? I always have to. Am I tripping? And then I always.

[AJ Holiday]

A little toxic. I like a little smidget of toxic.

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

What type of toxic, though? Because let me not even say that. I don't like toxic. I lied. I don't like nothing toxic. I lied real fast.

[Tam Bam]

I like a little. Little taste of toxicity. For whatever reason, just a little. You know, just a little something like that, because it just spice things up a little bit. Don't make it boring, you know? So just.

[AJ Holiday]

I saw this girl post, and she has. I forgot her Instagram. Damn. She. She's. She's a ex wife, right? She has two kids, but now she's a lesbian. And she was like, I always knew I was a lesbian. I don't know why the. I went. Had two kids, got married, all that, and now here I am. But she posted some this morning, and she was like, I can't stand with a. Want to ask you when y' all first started talking. What's your toxic traits? Baby, just hold on. I'm Finn to show you. Don't rush it. Just hold. Baby, just hold on a minute. God damn. Don't rush. I'm show you.

[Tam Bam]

Right? I'm gonna show you. You're gonna see.

[AJ Holiday]

That be me. Hey, the other day, I told her, I said, I'm about to start beating you now Little time I pass by, I'm about to start whooping your ass.

[Tam Bam]

About to show you the real locked in now I'm gonna take. So what's the psychology of cuffing?

[AJ Holiday]

So, I mean, it's cold outside, Bill's high, and your mama asking you, why are you still single? So it's welcome to cuffing season, right? So I feel like the winter times. The.

[Tam Bam]

The.

[AJ Holiday]

The. The. The. The winter months, when it's more cold outside, you got the leaves falling, it's like renewal time, Right. People start getting lonely. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, we do hibernate just like animals, essentially. So why would you not want to hibernate with someone? So people start, like, during kapha season trying to find somebody to lay up with in the winter time, and that's.

[Tam Bam]

How summer babies are made.

[AJ Holiday]

Mm. So shorter days, shorter moves. Listen, summer babies. Yeah, I told y' all my dates is August 28th through through October 3rd. I think. I think for my Gemini for you.

[Tam Bam]

To have your Gemini. Yes. You know, I think that's why a lot of us want to get cuffed, is we don't want to be re watching Game of Thrones by ourselves this. This winter.

[AJ Holiday]

So in the fall slash winter, the days are shorter and sunlight is limited. Less sunlight equals lower serotonin, vitamin D, which can affect your mood. People naturally spend more time indoor, leading to less social interaction and more feelings of isolation. Okay, so thus a cuffing partner.

[Tam Bam]

So is cuffing season biology culture, or is it just a vibe?

[AJ Holiday]

I think it's just. I think it's biology and it's a vibe. I don't know that it's like culture. So are we saying, like, culturally black people, like, dump everybody in the winter time and then try to find somebody before Valentine's? Because that's what cuffing season is leading up to. Valentine. So you can have somebody for. Through this. Through the. Through the winter months.

[Tam Bam]

And it's for Christmas for me. I just be like, lord, bless me with matching pajamas this year, you know? So I feel like, I mean, Valentine.

[AJ Holiday]

You asking for the wrong thing. You get your matching pajamas with your mama. God, please.

[Tam Bam]

You need to write down.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly what he looks like with them pajamas on with that back, looking like in that plaid pajama. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Pajamas.

[AJ Holiday]

Maybe he just got the bottoms on, shirt off, right? Okay.

[Tam Bam]

And I got on the shirt and he got on the bottoms. Just one pajama set, not two. Amen.

[AJ Holiday]

I like that photo shoot.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Amen, somebody.

[AJ Holiday]

So holidays equals pressure cooker. Okay, so Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and family centered gatherings often bring questions like, so when you trying to get married? Or where's your boo? When you gonna have some kids? You gonna get all like. We dread that shit happening at family functions. Cause most of them are in the wintertime, you know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

Last Thanksgiving, as me, my mom and my sister, it was just the three of us last year, and we sat and had Thanksgiving dinner and we said that this year, if you ain't got a man, you can't come to Thanksgiving. So Tanya, she's already set to be at Thanksgiving. She might be there by herself. Mama said she just gonna find her a blind who ain't got nowhere to go and bring up to the table.

[AJ Holiday]

You better wrench you a.

[Tam Bam]

And I don't know for me.

[AJ Holiday]

Somebody to come with you.

[Tam Bam]

Huh?

[AJ Holiday]

You got somebody that'll come.

[Tam Bam]

I don't want just somebody to come to Thanksgiving with me. That's insane. I wanted to be someone like that. I'm really like, want to present to my family, you know, not just.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I done had a couple random niggas at Thanksgiving before just because they didn't have no place to go eat either. Like come to my mama house. And I wasn't even fucking with them like that. But just.

[Tam Bam]

That's not the same though.

[AJ Holiday]

They pro. They wanted to fuck with me, but I wasn't fucking with them. And that me inviting them to dinner at my mom's house could have mean a lot to them. Yeah, but just Come eat. Because I realize you.

[Tam Bam]

Well, do they know It's. It's a suitcase. I even feed everybody.

[AJ Holiday]

And my mama generous and she'll be a mama to everybody. Yeah, you'll have one, right, Charlene to be your mama, Right?

[Tam Bam]

So not you. Not you. Thinking you special. Don't think it's somebody different over here. Every Sunday, this big Mom's house.

[AJ Holiday]

But Retina Bay is an option. Y' all know they have services like that. Y' all see the. Post it every year, too.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Different packages.

[Tam Bam]

No. Have you seen online where they can AI boyfriend and he'll come up and kiss you in a video. It's a. Where you can pay to have an AI boyfriend and you, like, create a video of yourself and they'll have him walk up and kiss you and like, like, so you can post it for your social media or whatever. And it's a fake boyfriend.

[AJ Holiday]

That is nuts.

[Tam Bam]

What. Where.

[AJ Holiday]

Where are we going at with the world?

[Tam Bam]

They keep trying to promote that to me, and I'm like, how did this get in my algorithm? Because I do not what though. I'm not that pressed for a. That I got an AI walking up to kiss me. They do before social media. They do be fine. But I'm not that person.

[AJ Holiday]

So winter blues equals cuddle effect. The cuddle effect. So colder weather, more nights in. Less parties, less socializing. Loneliness plus the craving for physical comfort makes people prioritize companionship. So cuffing season thrives because it's not just about sex. It's about warmth, affection, and having someone to binge watch shows with. Okay. Nobody wants to be out here paying 400 heating bill and sleeping cold. Okay. Get you a man this winter or.

[Tam Bam]

A woman or whatever you like or whatever it is.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm always speaking from a woman's perspective.

[Tam Bam]

Some women don't like me, man.

[AJ Holiday]

I forgot. I'm always speaking from a heterosexual woman perspective. Yeah, we add all of that in there. I'm always speaking from a CIS perspective.

[Tam Bam]

Cis. Yeah. So Valentine's Day is the deadline. Is that real?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Like, all of this is leading up to that. So all of this is leading up to. Right. These. August. September. Right. Is leading up to you having somebody for the holidays and then Valentine's ultimately, like, that should be your. Your man. Your man. Your man by Valentine and then break up by March. You don't have to break up. That's the problem with y' all young niggas.

[Tam Bam]

But it's like it says, people couple up quickly during the winter. But breakups spike in March April. Wants to march April once the weather warms back up. Cuffing season is basically a trial relationship with an expiration date.

[AJ Holiday]

Interesting. I'm not participating in.

[Tam Bam]

So they say love contracts be expiring right after the Super Bowl. Yeah. Because that's right after like Valentine's Day.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. So I, I didn't, I didn't think that cuffing season. Oh, maybe. I mean, yeah, seasons do come to an end. Right? But I thought it was like to actually find somebody to just. But really they just want you to find somebody to lay up with for.

[Tam Bam]

The winter cold time. And then it's back to whim whammy.

[AJ Holiday]

Whim whammy. I like that song. Put this whammy on them.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. Yeah.

[Carlos Miller]

Hey, fam. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. If you're like me, you're always thinking about how to level up your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just starting in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is the key to long term success. They've been a steady presence in our community and they know having the right support early can make all the difference. State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know that the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's all about staying focused, staying grounded and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com this Labor Day.

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[AJ Holiday]

Ah come on. Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient.

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[AJ Holiday]

Whoa, this thing moves.

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[Tam Bam]

Do.

[AJ Holiday]

You have any like real life draft stories? Like have you ever actively like intentionally tried to set up? You said you got one person in the pocket right now?

[Tam Bam]

I got two people.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. Two in the possible. One in the possible.

[Tam Bam]

Two in the possible. I do. I have two in a possible right now. Quality quality guys right now.

[AJ Holiday]

No coochie given to either yet.

[Tam Bam]

No. And one of them is actually older than me. I know. Oh I know. That's not normal for me.

[AJ Holiday]

So by what, four months?

[Tam Bam]

No, he's a few years older than me.

[AJ Holiday]

What?

[Tam Bam]

Yes, I know.

[AJ Holiday]

We swapping right?

[Tam Bam]

Listen, the other two are young Places. Oh, young. All right. Well, one of them is my, like, right below my age. And the other one is like, it's so childish. He like 12 years younger than me, but I. He the one I like the most. It's crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

Right under my age. You're what?

[Tam Bam]

Whatever that is. He's somewhere right up under there, though. Because, I mean, so everybody out here choosing, like, I imagine that even though these guys are pursuing me, they might be pursuing other women at the same time, you know, do you feel like you and you're dating that man is only dating you? I would like to think that, but you can never be sure.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, it just depends, you know what I'm saying? Like, people do find time to off and do, like, little. But. And I'm never just trying to take up all of somebody's time. I got shit to do too.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But I'll ask questions I do want to know. Because I usually, if I'm entertaining somebody, I try to hone in on that person. I don't really have an attention span for multiple people now, so it's motherfuckers like I owe an apology to right now because I ghosted. And if you're listening, because I know you probably are. My bad. That's just how I can't do more than one person. I can't. I cannot entertain. I can't talk to more than one person at the same time. I pick a person and then that's where I'll be. And if it ends, then, you know.

[Tam Bam]

I'll start all over. So, you know, I can entertain multiple guys, but once I start busting it wide open, then I kind of lock in on that one person. I need to be thinking about my coochie. And my brain and heart are like on a string or something like that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Unless you're a prostitute. Unless you're a car hopper. Like, your coochie runs straight to your heart. So if I let you hit this, like.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah, now we locked in. And that's why I be trying to take my time on that. Because I know you'll find yourself locked in with the wrong type of. If you don't, like, vet these.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, for sure. Oh, you ain't telling me nothing, child. Yeah, that's all I've been doing my whole life. Long ass relationships with the wrong person. Long ass relationships. Be mad as hell at my damn self. But hey, man, life is lessons. That's all it is. So now you got to go through those things to know exactly what you want, exactly what you don't want. But you're willing to tolerate all the things because that's all relationships is how much you could tolerate. Tolerate from somebody else. That's it.

[Tam Bam]

I find myself. But this year, one thing I'm not going to do, that I always do is I be upset on Valentine's Day and bitter. I'm not doing that this year. This year. Well, next year, when Valentine's Day comes around, if I'm not with the guy, I'm not gonna be like, I remember one year I went knocking on people doing. You told me that.

[AJ Holiday]

You told us that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Ain't that crazy? That is y', all. Y'. All. Yeah. Anytime. Anything sound a little Roman. Oh, y' all romantic in there, y' all up.

[AJ Holiday]

Mid stroke.

[Tam Bam]

That was so much fun, though. I ain't gonna lie.

[AJ Holiday]

Probably think it's her other at the door. Vice versa.

[Tam Bam]

Right? But that. But that is kind of nuts. So if I am still single, which I doubt I'll be, I'll definitely channel my soft girl era. If y' all ain't listening to that episode, y' all should go back and listen. But I'm just gonna be nice to myself and not mean to others. Amen, somebody.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man, amen. So, okay, I was. Me and one of my girlfriends had a conversation, and she was like, you know what? I like. The next relationship I get in, like, I'm really giving is gonna be based off, like, a rewards system, Right.

[Tam Bam]

It's gonna be like, crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

Give a credit card. Look, I even created. I might post it online. Let's see if. Does anybody need a. A rewards card to pass out to their possibles for this season?

[Tam Bam]

He get to stamp his loyalty card.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Because I feel like really that's what you have to do. So you can kind of keep track. You could kind of keep track. Like, you got to keep track of the good deeds and the bad deeds.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, you just have to. Because how else are you gonna. Like, we need help picking, obviously. Right. Because the men love to tell us online how we pick the wrong person.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Right. Not that we got bamboozled into picking the wrong person. We just outright picked the wrong. So I guess all women always pick the wrong man or it's just the wrong man out here. I don't know which one it is, but I want to help the girlies try to pick the right one. So, yeah, you gotta put these on a point system. Now this thing, this actually says. So the point system breakdown. This one actually says answering what you doing wid within 10 minutes. Listen, if he's sending you too many wids with no real plans, that's negative five points. Yeah, automatic we're not entertaining wyds for cuffing season. All right? If the man actually wants to see you, he will make a plan to do so. Yeah, if he's not making any plans, baby, stop responding to them text messages. That should get annoying. A died wid you to death.

[Tam Bam]

Let me tell you something. I won't go for like because I, you know, I be liking younger men. But if, like, if our first conversation. If they say type more than twice, I'm not talking to you type if you say it more than two times, baby. Oh, hold on. My mama calling me. I'mma call you right back. And I'll never call back. Cuz I need you to have.

[AJ Holiday]

That's why in lingo.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, do y for me. Like, I see you coming out the gym, you looking fine as hell, type.

[AJ Holiday]

Boy.

[Tam Bam]

Don't.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't say.

[Tam Bam]

If you say it one time, okay, twice, I'll be like. But if you say it more than twice, you got to go type. I hate that.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, so negative 5 points for wid text messages. Every time he sent one, you taking off. Five points. Every starts with a hundred.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Bringing snacks when they come over. Like, I love a man who is thoughtful, right? So if I'm cooking, if I'm bring something.

[Tam Bam]

A bottle.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, something. Don't come. Don't ever go to a woman's house empty handed.

[Tam Bam]

I love when a man, if he comes over and he just take my trash out without having me to ask him to do it. You just go grab it out the trash can and take it. I hate if I see my trash getting full and you sitting there and you don't get up and try to take my trash. Get your ass up and take my trash out.

[AJ Holiday]

Yo, you tripping. See me, I'm trying to take the trash out before company actually even get there. Like why we got trash in there?

[Tam Bam]

No, I'm saying not just when you first get there. I mean like if a trash has accumulated while you've been here.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, right. Yes. What are you doing?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Take that with you. You're going outside, aren't you?

[Tam Bam]

Right? Take it. Yeah, don't and don't have me to ask.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, 10 points for that too, right? Consistent. Good morning text. No skips. 15 points. All right, so every morning you're the first person on his mind. Even if he got auto generated messages to five other bitches, you on the roster for him. Okay? He gets the points for that. He's thinking about you. He's so considerate that he put auto messages already in place for you.

[Tam Bam]

Can you do that?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. You can schedule text messages.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, I need to do that.

[AJ Holiday]

You gonna send all your good morning sunshine them?

[Tam Bam]

I'm gonna. My mama really serious about her good morning text. I'm gonna make sure she get one because she don't play about that.

[AJ Holiday]

Y'. All my cat in heat. I'm sorry. Damn. You hear her? Oh, okay. Sorry. Like, going. Is that.

[Tam Bam]

Is that your you're talking about or. Because you looking down. You looking down between your legs, and you said, my cat in heat.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm like the actual cat. Like, I don't know what she think my feet can do for her, but, baby, whatever freaky you into, I'm not with it.

[Tam Bam]

She. She watching you all weekend, and now. Now you talking about you. Ain't it really winning? You are with it. You are with it. I saw you with it all weekend, yo.

[AJ Holiday]

Staying the night and making the bed after. Oh, hot. 20 get 20 points for that. Nice clean, man. That smash you all night. Should take the sheets off and put them in the washing machine. You get 30 points for that.

[Tam Bam]

I. I don't expect you to make the bed unless you're still the. You the lad. I don't even. I guess I don't expect you to make my bed.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't either, because men can't even make the bed.

[Tam Bam]

Not good. I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

They do not make the bed. Well, I'll let you.

[Tam Bam]

But I am definitely coming out. My pillows need to be set up a certain way, and you're just not gonna do that. You just don't know how that needs to. So just leave it alone.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. I'm gonna go ahead and make it up, but I'm gonna make it up after. You don't feel no type of way. Yeah, so I'll give. I'll give you some points for making the beds up, remembering your favorite show, and watching it together.

[Tam Bam]

I love that. That's a love language for me.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so you get 25 points for that.

[Tam Bam]

I love a. Who love a movie. If a be like, I don't watch TV like that ain't my mama calling me. I'm gonna call you right back. What?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't watch TV like that, so that wouldn't be like a. Yeah, you get that?

[Tam Bam]

You get that message? Yeah, my mama calling. We texting. What do you mean, your mama call it? I'm not talking to you. No More because I love a movie.

[AJ Holiday]

Driving cross town in traffic just to chill.

[Tam Bam]

Unless we got a convertible and we on the ocean line and we gonna see like scenic. I don't like being in the car.

[AJ Holiday]

30 points supposedly for that. I mean, just to chill. No, but like if we gonna go like do a nice thing. Like this weekend we went to if.

[Tam Bam]

A driving you across town just to chill. He might be dropping off the work. Girl, be careful with him. Don't trust it.

[AJ Holiday]

Shame.

[Tam Bam]

You a decoy so the police don't look so hard.

[AJ Holiday]

Now you in a shootout, right? Mistaken idenity. Posting a soft launch. The hand, the drink, the shadow pick. Don't post me before I post you. No. Do I care? I don't care. I don't care. But don't have the expectation of me also posting.

[Tam Bam]

You don't post me till our wedding day because I ain't posting you to mine. I might show a watch. A watch or a foot.

[AJ Holiday]

A ring engagement.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah, I'll do that. But I'm not posting. No. Because I always be knowing some hoes lurking like, oh, I want that.

[AJ Holiday]

That's how you be probably. Oh, I want that. I do want that.

[Tam Bam]

But not with your. I want my own nigga. But it be hoes that be wanting yours just cause it's you. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I never liked when I was engaged, I didn't. I didn't really post like an engagement type thing. I remember I posted one picture, it was him and I. And I just had the ring on in the picture, like hand, just. But I never went online to say. I said I do and all that weird shit. And one of my friends at the time told me it's not real unless I post it.

[Tam Bam]

That's not true.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm like, what? Get out of here. I mean, I didn't get married though, because I wasn't the poster. Right.

[Tam Bam]

She put an omen over your.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

I just think that. I don't. I don't like public displays of affection.

[AJ Holiday]

On like social media.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, like social media. I don't like to do that.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't want it as an actual public. I be all over.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but on social media, I don't want to do that just because if it don't work in my head, if it don't work out. Now everybody want an explanation what happened, why you didn't take all these pictures down. And I'm emotional. If we get into a bad fight, you'll come all the way off, you know, just because I'm mad at the time and Then next week we I'm back. Cool. And now I gotta unarchive all these pictures.

[AJ Holiday]

I ain't got time for them, right? I mean, I literally have deleted my entire social media. I was off of social media from 2012 to 2016 because of that. Because of deleting, you know, breaking up. And niggas started deleting, deleting our pictures off of his social media. And I started deleting him and I'm like, this is hurting my feelings. Deleting these pictures. Yeah, because in his mind, he just didn't want nobody to know who he was in a relationship with. But now you, you started it. You started with the post and shit. I didn't. Okay. I didn't start that. You.

[Tam Bam]

I added my ex recently on Facebook because I kept seeing like, I kept seeing him. He's still friends with my family and stuff like that. I'm still friends with him. So I was like, it. I'll add him. And I looked at his page and he's married again. He's married now to someone else and they have a kid. And my pictures are still on his page.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, some people don't delete. It is a part of their timeline. Literally. That's what I'm saying. Like when my ex did that, you deleted our pictures. I felt like you were deleting those moments because why did you ever even post them? And then you don't even have these pictures no more. They literally lived on social media when I.

[Tam Bam]

When me and my. If you don't get this off your page, why do you still have this on your page? There's a new sheriff in town. Take her down the.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't care about like that. I don't.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you ain't gonna have your ex.

[AJ Holiday]

So how many points a losing if you dating somebody and you go on his page and he still got his ex girlfriend up there.

[Tam Bam]

If. If we're like together now, I'm a request that he delete him. I'm not going to expect him to know that that's a requirement for me. But I will ask that he deletes them. And if he doesn't like, oh, I don't want to delete them, then I don't feel like you still attached to that person. Like, you're not ready for this relationship. If you still like. Because I got like, I got a dick pic folder. When I get a man, I'mma hide it in the calculator. So you just appease me. That's all I'm saying. Like, you got to really get rid of that. Just hide it.

[AJ Holiday]

I made a mistake once in telling a. That I had a video of somebody eating my pussy in my phone. Boy, he was so livid. And it's not that I. It was just there. I knew it was there somewhere where it was in the phone. I wasn't sure at that time. You know what I'm saying? I knew. I never deleted it, though, man. He was upset about that. Upset was about to kill me.

[Tam Bam]

Put your head between the washer and dryer.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. So you'd be all right. Yeah. Maybe you got to get rid of that stuff, man.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, maybe you do get rid of it.

[AJ Holiday]

I. I think. I think I'm gonna get me a new number this time. I think I might change my cell phone number. I have. I have had the same number.

[Tam Bam]

You really like this one?

[AJ Holiday]

Since I was 18. Same phone number. Like, I'm accessible. I don't want to be accessible no more.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't want no problems. None.

[Tam Bam]

I just blocked a bunch of people.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, well. No problems surviving Thanksgiving dinner with the family. 50 points.

[Tam Bam]

I feel like that's easy with my family, though. They'd just be so happy for me to bring a. They'd be, like, so nice to him. They'd just be so happy to have a guest per.

[AJ Holiday]

It'd be my sister. Drunk ass. Got a million and one questions for a nigga, and she's still gonna be fun. You know what I'm saying? That's still gonna be fun. Magic pajama photo for Christmas. You get 75 points for that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay.

[Tam Bam]

You get 100 points for that with me, because I've been waiting on that for a long time.

[AJ Holiday]

And Valentine's dinner reservation with flowers.

[Tam Bam]

100 points. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay.

[Tam Bam]

A hun done for me.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

But it's so crazy because these last Valentine's, I could have, like, gone out with a guy, but I didn't want to because it would have been fake.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. You want to go with somebody you actually like, and you're going to get dicked down afterwards. Like, I don't want to just go because I don't want to be by myself.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Like, I'm not doing that.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm still not letting you smash. I'm still not getting dick on Valentine.

[Tam Bam]

Right. So.

[AJ Holiday]

So, so. Bronze Tear. This is one to three months. Okay. This is the Bronze Terror loyalty program. You get answered texts, occasional leftovers, shared. Next Netflix passwords and the restrictions for this particular package. No holidays, no Instagram tags, no meet the parents.

[Tam Bam]

I. I gave Somebody my HBO Max password. And then he pissed me off, and then I went and changed the password, and he gonna message me. He's like, you change your HBO Max. I'm like, you can't log in. What the you think, Eddie?

[AJ Holiday]

You petty as hell. I still got my homegirl HBO Max, who I haven't spoken to in months because we haven't beefing, but she still got my Disney, so we haven't removed each other.

[Tam Bam]

If you. You're not gonna be having no up in your house watching Game of Thrones on my HBO Max, you better get her login right.

[AJ Holiday]

Silver Tear. This is three to five months benefits. Weekend sleepovers, rides to the airport. That's love. Okay. Your favorite snacks in their fridge. Restrictions. Still no family introductions. Valentine Day is to be determined. Okay, Gold Tier. This is six months plus benefits. Matching pajamas with Christmas pics, family holiday dinners, birthday acknowledgments. Restrictions, risk of being cut once spring starts, like you stole on a chopping block. And this is Platinum Tear. Platinum Tear is the All Star Cuffin season loyalty rewards program. So the benefits are keys to the apartment. Bitch, I'm ready to cut a pair of keys right now.

[Tam Bam]

Really?

[AJ Holiday]

Keys to the apartment?

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

Keys to the apartment. Shared Uber Eats account, maybe even a vacation trip. Restrictions may expire when the weather breaks and the streets reopen.

[Tam Bam]

I ain't never been ready to give a a key. Never ever, Never a key. I remember somebody asked me for a key one time, and I was like, I started hyper villain late, and I was like, what does she talk about?

[AJ Holiday]

Was he paying some bills?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he paid the rent.

[AJ Holiday]

God damn, you hard on the.

[Tam Bam]

Why you need a key to buy. That's crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

He like, because it's kind of like both of ours.

[Tam Bam]

No, that's like asking for my password to my phone. Why you need that? Right?

[AJ Holiday]

We'll be able to pull up when he.

[Tam Bam]

Why would you need to get in here without my ex? Like, I'll let you in.

[AJ Holiday]

Maybe he wanted to surprise you. Maybe he want access to come when you come home. Like, flowers everywhere, all that good stuff. I don't like where you, like, coordinate with my mama.

[Tam Bam]

Coordinate with my homegirl, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Coordinate with my sister Janae got a key.

[Tam Bam]

Ask her. She'll let you in to put some flowers in. This is you crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

Shame. But you don't live here. You see the huh?

[Tam Bam]

If you don't live in this, I don't see why you would need a key.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I never give no keys out in real life. Unless the man is Living there.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

I think the only person who ever had a key to a place I lived is my ex fiance and my ex ex boyfriend from when I was in my 20s. He definitely had a key to my house. Locked me out my own house. I got home, and all you could hear through the window was, was it use a hoe or it was like.

[Tam Bam]

Some song, like, ludicrous.

[AJ Holiday]

It was either ludicrous. It was like some whole song. Like, he was like, had already went through all my shit in my house is essentially what happened. And I get home from work, and now he's not opening a fucking door. Maybe he didn't have a key. Maybe I just left him with the key. Maybe he didn't have a key at the time. But eventually he definitely had a key to my place. But, yeah, the nigga went and come to the door. He like. Blasted music. I get in there. He got my college trunk on open. You know how much stuff. I still got that trunk right now in my other bedroom. You know how much in there. A whole bunch of my life is in that trunk. And imagine somebody just really violating your.

[Tam Bam]

And going through it and then being mad. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

He found my very short list. Okay. And was mad because his name wasn't the first name on the list. I'm like. Because you're not the first person I had sex with.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Why would you be at the. At the top of the list? And it's not based off of performance either.

[Tam Bam]

Chronological.

[AJ Holiday]

Mind your business. Name for your eyes.

[Tam Bam]

Right. You shouldn't have been in my chest anyway.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Who does that go. I don't like that, man. I don't go through people's. I do not go through.

[Tam Bam]

That's one thing I'm not funny in my. Yeah. I had. I learned the hard way.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. You go through hurting my own. Yeah. I want to have a good day. I want to have good days. Like who the wake up. That's the toxic. Who wakes up to ruin their own day.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Something. Man or woman. You will find some that don't got nothing to do with your eyes.

[Tam Bam]

Exactly.

[AJ Holiday]

And you can create a whole scenario around it to create a problem with your significant other.

[Tam Bam]

I hate a That'll go on vacation and go on a phone while y' all on vacation.

[AJ Holiday]

You're a weirdo.

[Tam Bam]

Why are you doing that? Like it's a weird.

[AJ Holiday]

Can he never relax? You know he right.

[Tam Bam]

Because you wouldn't be looking trip right here.

[AJ Holiday]

This is a makeup trip, right. Okay. He's booked this trip because he done had this up to you. And now here you are and you're ruining the makeup trip.

[Tam Bam]

Well, at least wait till you get home. How you gonna ruin vacation? I hate that. That's so dumb. They be.

[AJ Holiday]

Was it a messaging you from vacation before?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, behind, nigga. I know, I know that was your man. She posted me on her story and everything. She's like, this is another one right here. I was like, now see how I get in it.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y'. All. So that's cuffing season. Okay, so hopefully y' all got some takeaways from this episode. Put these niggas on a rewards program. Men. Put these women on a rewards program. A loyalty program. Right? Add it up, tally it up.

[Tam Bam]

Do all the things.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, Wean them out. Wean them out and get you one good one or maybe two good ones. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

I think no, like start with two and then may the best man or woman win, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Period.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Period. Period. Period.

[Tam Bam]

Any last, last. That was your last list?

[AJ Holiday]

Yep. That's my last last.

[Tam Bam]

All right, y'. All. If y' all enjoyed this episode, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect I Heart radio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick it down.

[Tam Bam]

It's official. Tam Brand on Instagram. I love y' all so much. Remember, speak now and never hold your bay. Never hold your cuff.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's get cuff that part.

[Tam Bam]

Deuces.

[AJ Holiday]

Bye. We talk back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Tam Bam]

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[Carlos Miller]

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[Tam Bam]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

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[Tech/Product Announcer]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tech/Product Announcer]

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[Tam Bam]

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[Tech/Product Announcer]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tech/Product Announcer]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast.