Do It With No Hands

Summary

We Talk Back – "Do It With No Hands" (April 16, 2026)

Hosts: TamBam and AJ Holiday
Network: The Black Effect Podcast Network & iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this episode, TamBam and AJ Holiday tap into their signature comedic, raw, and unfiltered vibe, catching up on celebrity headlines and their own lives before diving into a thought-provoking conversation about the myth of “balance.” The hosts explore what balance looks like (or doesn’t), how the pressure to “do it all” affects women, and why prioritization might be healthier than chasing perfect equilibrium.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: Weekend Life, Gas Prices, and Hustle

Timestamps: 04:01–06:50

• Gas Prices & Inflation:
  TamBam and AJ joke about the shock of rising gas prices, with TamBam sharing a story about a friend's failed dump truck investment due to skyrocketing fuel costs.
  • “He just did an involuntary reposition on both of them.” – TamBam (05:07)
• Work & Emotional Softness:
  TamBam talks about doing hair for a wedding, getting emotional seeing the bride, and missing out on Haitian food because she didn't want to show her face post-work.

2. Celebrity Headlines: Offset, Gucci Mane, and Trick Daddy

Timestamps: 07:06–21:15

• Offset Shooting Incident:
  AJ and TamBam unpack the rumors around Offset being shot – the internet chatter, connections to Lil TJ, and how narratives spiral online (07:06–09:02).
  • “These kids... what are y’all doing out here?” – TamBam (09:02)
• Gucci Mane & Pooh Shiesty Rumors:
  Discussion pivots to the alleged Gucci Mane/Pooh Shiesty kidnapping and contract drama, mirroring broader issues in rap business deals.
  • “If you’re a victim of a crime, you should be able to tell the police and that shouldn’t make you a snitch.” – TamBam (11:21)
• On Who’s a ‘Snitch’ and Street Code:
  A sharp, humorous critique of people online policing the idea of “snitching.”
  • “Snitches are people who get caught doing some shit and start telling on others to save theirself.” – TamBam (14:40)
• Trick Daddy and the AKA Conference:
  Trick Daddy’s mic was cut off at an AKA (sorority) event for inappropriate lyrics. TamBam and AJ question the logic behind hiring Trick Daddy in the first place.
  • “They should have known... The name is Trick Daddy!” – TamBam (17:09)
  • “Run Trick Daddy his check! He showed up and he performed.” – AJ Holiday (18:49)
• Booking Nonsense:
  Hosts joke about booking more appropriate artists and recall Trick Daddy’s wild concert antics.
  • “Chris Brown could’ve came out and said whatever the fuck he wanted and they wouldn’t have cut his mic off.” – TamBam (20:04)

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3. Main Topic: Is Life Balance Real?

Timestamps: 21:23–55:29

Defining (or Dismissing) Balance

• Setting Up:
  AJ introduces the episode’s core question after a friend/therapist told her “there is no such thing as balance.”
• TamBam’s Take:
  Balance isn’t about all things getting equal energy; it’s more like a scale that never truly isn’t tipping.
  • “If I’m making more money, I’m fat. If I’m in shape, swear to God...” – TamBam (25:41)
• AJ’s Reality:
  Trying to balance everything would mean you’re sacrificing sleep and self-care.
  • “In order for me to actually seek balance... I would not be able to sleep.” – AJ (25:41)
• Prioritization Over Balance:
  They discuss whether pursuing balance is about making yourself feel better or just striving for the impossible, agreeing prioritizing is more realistic.
  • “There is no such thing as balance. There’s prioritizing your life.” – AJ (26:21)

Clutter, Organization, and Social Lives

• Decluttering as a Starting Point:
  AJ confesses her organized surfaces hide a messy closet, paralleled by TamBam’s cross-country, scattered possessions. Both connect physical clutter to the emotional/mental sense of imbalance.
• Purchasing Habits:
  Middle-of-the-night impulse buys and unreturned outfits stack up, fueling the sense of overwhelm.
• Social Withdrawal:
  Both admit rarely going out, overwhelmed by work and “the chase,” at the cost of social and self-care routines.
  • “I don’t have a social life no more... I used to be outside.” – TamBam (31:34)

Self-Care Suffers: Candid Confessions

• AJ and TamBam get (humorously) real about neglected grooming, overgrown nails, and graying hair.
  • “My pussy look like Don King right now.” – TamBam (33:41)
  • “Why the Gucci tired?” – AJ (34:18)
• Acceptance and Priorities:
  They joke about reprioritizing self-care, but admit it falls low on the list behind work and household tasks.

Relationships: Sacrifices and Cheating

Timestamps: 36:32–39:08

• If One Thing Wins, Something Loses:
  Career success often comes at the expense of relationships or health. TamBam shares a friend’s story of marital neglect leading to infidelity.
  • “If you’re married to somebody, you need to make it a priority because that’s level one.” – AJ (38:31)
• Tongue-in-Cheek ‘Advice’:
  “If something’s lacking... maybe your significant other should just cheat on you...” – AJ (39:08, joke)

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4. Hustling, Burnout, and Life Seasons

Timestamps: 40:17–54:12

• Work Overload:
  TamBam’s current “winning” is chasing multiple streams of income; fitness and fun are neglected.
  • “The only thing soft is my arms.” – TamBam (41:07)
• AJ Loves Rest:
  She aspires to “slow mornings” and ease, setting minimal achievable goals in order to not feel overwhelmed.
• Realities of Scheduling:
  Both reflect on how overstuffed plans never get done, or how the cliché “everyone has the same 24 hours” ignores health and human needs.

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5. Friendships, Family, and Silent Sacrifices

Timestamps: 48:25–54:04

• Sacrificing Social Life:
  Supporting family (AJ’s nieces) and working overtime means missing out on events and friendships naturally cooling.
  • “Sometimes you might have to miss a friend's birthday... you can't do all the things." – AJ (48:25)
• Friendship Prioritization:
  Both admit to sometimes letting friendships drift, not from animosity but from life’s prioritization squeeze.
  • “If I don't call you, we ain't never gonna talk.” – TamBam (51:06)

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6. The Future: Saving, Planning, and Elder Warnings

Timestamps: 55:29–61:55

• Money for the Future:
  TamBam stresses the importance of saving and planning for retirement, moved by seeing seniors living in hardship during her housing inspections.
  • “Please start saving for your retirement... It can get different real fast.” – TamBam (58:28)
• Millennial Burdens:
  AJ reminds listeners that it’s okay not to have it all figured out in your 20s or 30s; wealth often comes in your forties after years of hustle.
  • “If you’re in your 20s and 30s... thinking you behind, you are not.” – AJ (58:05)
• Aging & Companionship:
  TamBam reflects on a breakup with “January Bae” because of lifestyle differences; the desire for companionship vs. the grind.

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7. Final Thoughts: Balance Isn’t Real, But Purpose Is

Timestamps: 54:57–62:18

• No Perfect Balance:
  The hosts conclude that constant assessment, honest prioritization, and sitting with what is possible are more realistic than seeking a mythical equilibrium.
• Action Steps:
  Write goals, assess your current “season,” and make small daily changes to move closer to what matters most.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Balance:
  • “If I’m making more money, I’m fat. If I’m in shape, swear to God...” – TamBam (25:41)
  • “There is no such thing as balance. There’s prioritizing your life.” – AJ (26:21)
• On Real-Life Over Instagram:
  • “People faking like it on social media... but on the surface, everything is in order until you open up a fucking door.” – AJ (27:53)
• On Self-Care:
  • “My pussy look like Don King right now.” – TamBam (33:41)
• On Hustle Culture:
  • “People who say you got the same 24 hours... Your pee is real dark, you ain’t even drinking enough water.” – AJ (45:38)
• On Friendship Drift:
  • “If I don’t call you, we ain’t never gonna talk.” – TamBam (51:06)
• On Retirement:
  • “Please start putting money into your IRA. It can get different real fast.” – TamBam (58:28)
• On Aging and Life Priorities:
  • “The older I get, the less I really care... I’m not scared of not getting married. I’m not scared of not having a kid.” – AJ (57:06)

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Timestamps for Segment Highlights

• 04:01 – Weekend check-in & gas price struggles
• 07:06 – Offset shooting recap
• 09:15 – Gucci Mane/Pooh Shiesty street business rumors
• 16:16 – Trick Daddy vs. the AKAs, the risk of booking rowdy acts
• 24:33 – Main topic: Can you really have balance?
• 30:53 – Decluttering life (and closets)
• 33:41 – Comedy peak: self-care confessions
• 36:32 – Sacrifices in career vs. relationships
• 48:25 – Why you have to say no (silent sacrifices)
• 51:06 – Drifting friendships
• 58:28 – Real talk on saving for retirement
• 62:38 – Wrap-up and encouragement to assess your life’s season

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Tone & Takeaway

• Language/Tone: Straight-shooting, playful, candid, often hilarious; hosts bounce easily from deep to irreverent.
• Episode Takeaway:
  Balance is a myth – what’s meaningful is honest prioritization, surviving hustle seasons, and not letting social media make you feel “behind.” Take care of yourself, your money, your friendships, and do what you can with what you have. And remember to laugh along the way.

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Listener Tip:
If you’re seeking real-life advice spiked with laughter and sisterly realness, keep tuning in to We Talk Back.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

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[Tam Bam]

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[Tam Bam]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

Hey, y', all, it's Lauren LaRosa with the latest with Lauren LaRosa on Black Effect. And I cannot wait to see you guys at the fourth annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. We are coming back to Atlanta, Georgia on Saturday, April 25th at Pullman Yard, and it's hosted by me alongside DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God. We got Drink Chants with Noriega and DJ efn. We got Keep It Positive, Sweetie with my girl Crystal Renee Hayslet. We got Reality with the King with my guide and my brother Carlos King. And y' all know he does reality commentary like nobody can. Now we also have Don't Call Me White Girl, the podcast I Love Mona, and Club520 podcast along with the Grits and Eggs podcast. So this lineup stacked, baby. You're also going to want to check out the panels that we have lined up too, featuring Kev on stage, Tika Sumpter and John Hope Bryant, just to name a few.

[Tam Bam]

Of.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Of course, it's way bigger than podcast. We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. Okay, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your ticket [e-mail] podcastfestival.

[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'. All. I love y'. All. I missed y' all so much. Shout out, aj Y'. All. She's rocking me right now. How's your weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

You know, same old. I ain't do much this weekend. Visit. No, I have not been to Costco, y'. All. I've been trying not to spend a thousand dollars on a weekend. So, no, I have not been in Costco. I just realized gas went up a lot because I don't go no where. And I put a full tank. I filled my tank up and I'm

[Tam Bam]

like, what the, like, so high right now.

[AJ Holiday]

It's like about to be $5. Yeah, I use premium gas. So, like, when did that happen?

[Tam Bam]

Over the last two weeks. Last three weeks, four weeks. I don't know how long it's been,

[AJ Holiday]

but was I not the last person to put gas in my car? Because I'm confused as to how I missed that gas was that fucking high.

[Tam Bam]

But, yeah, one of my Friends invested and bought two dump trucks. And it would cost $800 to fill it up. Now it's 2,000 to fill it up. So he just did an involuntary reposition on both of them.

[AJ Holiday]

Man, I need. I want one. I literally was just having a conversation with somebody because he drives somebody else. And I'm like, hey, I'll go half with you on a dump truck.

[Tam Bam]

Not right now. Wait till the gas prices go down. Because he said he couldn't turn it, he couldn't turn a profit.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, these are like $6, $6 a gallon right now. I mean, but you just tack it on. Well, that's the problem then, cuz like the people, the. The brokers ain't trying to pay more on the loads, right? Not the brokers, but, you know, so

[Tam Bam]

he got like $500,000 worth of hoping somebody bought him shits, you know, it's rough out here. What did I do this weekend? Work. I did a wedding. I did the bride. I cried after I finished curling her hair. I cried right, because she looks so beautiful. I'm just getting soft the older I get. I started crying. I did not stay for the wedding. I hate when I go to do hair for a wedding and can't stay for the food.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, they should. They offer you a little plate.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, no, it wasn't that. It's this around my face. I can't be walking around there like that. Get the up out of there. That snuck out the back.

[AJ Holiday]

Shame.

[Tam Bam]

And it was a Haitian wedding, so they had all that good Haitian food. I missed it. But that was my weekend. That was it. Celebrating love, get in the sins.

[AJ Holiday]

So apparently Offset got shot in the ass last night or this week. That's the leg. I saw a video with him sitting in the stretcher smoking a cigarette outside the hospital.

[Tam Bam]

Sitting in a stretcher.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, sitting, Sitting in a. In a wheelchair, not a stretcher, sitting in a wheelchair, smoking a cigarette.

[Tam Bam]

So I thought that it was beyond, beyond, beyond behind a gambling d. Yeah,

[AJ Holiday]

so I saw at first, like 15 minutes after the must have happened, Angela Stanton posted that she was at the Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood, Florida. And she said she had just walked past Offset and just said, what's up all. And she said he looked up from her, his cell phone, said, what's up? You know, spoke back and put his head back down in his cell phone. She said she walked into the hotel five minutes fucking later.

[Tam Bam]

Pop, pop.

[AJ Holiday]

She did say low, low. TJ the person who was accused of shooting him was indeed the person standing next to him that she saw as she was walking into the hotel. So apparently he owes Lil TJ $10,000. But this with the Internet is saying

[Tam Bam]

this says that TJ was arrested for the altercation that occurred before the shooting. Yeah, they charged with disorderly conduct and operating a vehicle without a valid license, but he was not involved in the shooting.

[AJ Holiday]

So apparently what the streets are saying or this is why I saw another video of TJ saying that offsets a snitch. You did some in public at a casino. Apparently they did get into an altercation and somebody who was with T.J. shot Offset. Okay, So I don't know. These.

[Tam Bam]

These.

[AJ Holiday]

These kids like, what.

[Tam Bam]

What are y' all doing out here?

[AJ Holiday]

These people are

[Tam Bam]

speaking of. What are y' all doing out here? You see the Gucci man push. I see

[AJ Holiday]

the. That's confusing about that. I heard about that last year, right? And I thought it was some bullshit, especially because I be listening to Gucci Mane album every day, and he has a line on one of the songs that says, yeah, I'm Gucci Mane, but I'm not from Memphis. Acting as if the Gucci Mane that was robbed was somebody else named Gucci Mane, but from Memphis, but turned around as your ass that actually got robbed by Pooh Shiesty. For real? Because you. You didn't hear about that last year that they were saying that Pooh Shiesty had. Had kidnapped. Basically kidnapped Gucci Mane and made him sign his. Sign a contract. Sign him out the contract.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. I didn't hear nothing about that. My ears ain't to the street like that no more, so I didn't know nothing about it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I had heard about it, but I thought it was.

[Tam Bam]

So it says what? Circumstances of pusheisty's arrests were unclear when the news first broke on Thursday. New details quickly emerge, including words that the FDO artist was being accused in connection with allegedly robbery. Robbery and kidnapping said to have targeted Gucci man. As first reported by Texas based news outlet 12 News, the 1017 label founder was the target of the incident said to have had occurred in January at a Dallas area studio. Multiple arrests were later made, including Shy and his daddy. Now, what I don't understand.

[AJ Holiday]

Not last year. January.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

What I'm just so. My. My flabbers are guessed because why y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All. I'm always annoyed with this. I'm always annoyed with the street shit, though, like the conversations online because I can't stand seeing white people or women calling people snitches. I just don't like it just. It just does something to me because y' all ain't in the streets and y' all don't know what y' all would do if you was caught up in some real. Right. I don't really even like speaking on people like court situations because should be going down, you know, I just feel

[Tam Bam]

like if you're a victim of a crime, you should be able to tell the police and that shouldn't make you a snitch.

[AJ Holiday]

But apparently Gucci Mane's security is off duty. Off duty police officer or retired police officer. He probably initiated the filing for this crime that y' all committed in front of him. You know what I'm saying? I know the police don't always report all incidents, right? But y' all niggas really tried it. Gucci mane is a 50 year old fucking man at this point. Damn near right? With a family. You damn right. I'm telling.

[Tam Bam]

I'm trying to push. I see my way out of my contract with LA Fitness. Release me. Shame. I've been seeing beefs all weekend about people trying to push.

[AJ Holiday]

I see their way out of their

[Tam Bam]

car contract, out of their lease till

[AJ Holiday]

they caught the name. Isn't Pooh Honesty like, right? What did y' all expect?

[Tam Bam]

Who Honesty is hilarious.

[AJ Holiday]

Is Shisty as hell. He living up to his whole family. His. His mama is so ratchet. Yo. His mama, like, she's the one encouraging this. Like, she is like, she's like the madam of the. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

So I mean on that FTO song, he said, grandma told me watch the snakes in the grass. Whole time I'm the snake

[AJ Holiday]

and my thing is this. No. Did Gucci Mane hold a gun to your head when you signed that fucking 360 when you signed that fucked up deal and you wanted to get that upfront money out of Gucci Mane, right? Because I'm pretty like you get upfront money so you sign a contract and they give you whatever money you got to recoup the money, right? Did he put a gun to your head to sign that contract? Did you have an attorney when you signed the contract? Oh, you just was signing just to sign. Because it's who be signing multiple deals with multiple people and not giving a Right, right. That the same like with. With future and what. What's Monica baby daddy name?

[Tam Bam]

Why the girl? I don't know them people.

[AJ Holiday]

What's Monica baby daddy like him and he. He basically put future on. Why do I want to say Rallo? It's not Rallo Rocco.

[Tam Bam]

Rocco.

[AJ Holiday]

Motherfucking Rocco. Big Ass Hair Rocco. Yeah, Rocco put future on and waited until future ass got big. You signed a contract with Rocco, but you thought you was just supposed to make millions and not have to pay this man at all at any point. So Rocco did with any. What any businessman would do. Took him to court. Future talking about, oh, this. This nigga went to the feds and signed paperwork like, boy, shut up. This is not no street shit. This is strictly business. Now, would you have preferred a nigga to take it to the streets by money? Which one y' all want? So, I. I mean,

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't think that Gucci Mane is a snitch. I mean, I don't. I. I just don't. I don't think he's a snitch.

[Tam Bam]

Me neither.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all feel like if you're the

[Tam Bam]

victim of a crime, you can't be the snitch? I feel in my mind, snitches are people who get caught doing some and start telling on other to save their self. Yeah, that's a snitch to me.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Or telling on some that don't have to do. Have nothing to do with why you're up. So now you're just offering the government or whoever information to get less time.

[Tam Bam]

Tammy over there getting food stamps, and she worked, you know, like that.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, what that got to do with the you doing? Are you stupid? Are you, though? You got some? Cause I need some.

[Tam Bam]

No, I got that.

[AJ Holiday]

No. Nobody got food stamps, though, boy. Trump got everybody up. I don't got no food stamps. I can't get no water. All I used to buy is water.

[Tam Bam]

Can't get no food stamps, no gas, no crab leg. And listen, I work in the hair industry, and business is not getting their hair done as much. You know that. Slow down. I'm out here doing housing inspections on Monday and Tuesday trying to recoup.

[AJ Holiday]

The going on. You got something else you could do?

[Tam Bam]

Huh?

[AJ Holiday]

I said, at least you got another something else you could do.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, shoot.

[AJ Holiday]

That's a hustling hustle when I tell

[Tam Bam]

you I got all kind of hustles from every direction right now, period. Like, y' all might as well call me Baby T. I'm selling weed, doing hair, podcasting. All out the same house, period. Trap queen.

[AJ Holiday]

So, apparently the director of the Atlanta Regional Conference for the AKAS hired Trick Daddy to perform at a recent event. And basically, essentially, they turned that mic off at some point because they said his lyrics in language was inappropriate. The organization says expectations were Discussed with Trick Daddy and his team beforehand, but claims those guidelines were not followed during the performance. Trick Daddy has since responded, saying no one should be telling him what to perform and suggesting the organization send the re the rest of his payment. I agree. Pay that because y' all know who the Trick Daddy is. And if Trick Daddy come to a business meeting of mine, all I want to hear is, anybody want to die, come see I

[Tam Bam]

for real. Because that's Daddy, y'. All. The name is Prick Daddy. Like, that should have been a firm indicator of who you was about to get anyway.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, they must have thought that about to say, I don't know what this world gonna bring, but that's the easiest. That's the nicest song that nigga has.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but that's just one song. They weren't paying him to come out there. I remember going to see Trick Daddy in concert. This was many, many years ago at the Jamil Temple in Columbia, South Carolina. And I remember clutching my pearls at that shit. He was like. He was doing drop the top and let the sunshine in. But CeeLo Green wasn't there. He wasn't there to do the chorus. So during the CeeLo green part, he was like, kill that baby, that baby ain't mine. Kill that baby, that baby ain't mine. I swear that's what this was about.

[AJ Holiday]

Freaky old, sticky, old, geeky ass. I call it green neck eating ass, bruh. I was like, this got to be stopped.

[Tam Bam]

Kill that baby, that baby ain't mine. And y', all. Y' all invited him to do the AKA Conference. Y' all got exactly what y' all wanted.

[AJ Holiday]

But why would that be the feeling? Kill that baby, that baby ain't mine. Why would he be chanting that?

[Tam Bam]

That don't even go with that song. Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

Who the was pregnant for the Trick Daddy in Columbia at that time? He probably was telling her ass that in the audience, right? Cause what?

[Tam Bam]

Cause what? What we talking about this week?

[AJ Holiday]

Y'? All AKAs. Y' all found her. Y' all not founder. Y' all director. Y' all need to run Trick Daddy his check. Y' all owe that man. Pay that man. Pay that man. He showed up and he performed, and he was percolating on stage. And there's no way you could tell Trick Daddy, like, there's really no songs Trick Daddy could sing. That wouldn't be vulgar.

[Tam Bam]

And there's no way to make them not vulgar. You know, like, you just gonna have no lyrics to the song at that point. He just instrumentals out there and he's standing out there because the songs are completely vulgar. Y' all should have just asked Chance the Rapper to come out there. At this point. That's who y' all needed. Or LeCray.

[AJ Holiday]

They needed a discount. I'm trying to figure out how much Trick Daddy was charging them because obviously y' all ain't had no budget. And Trick Daddy, you know, with. It was within the budget.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Cause he ain't got. Had a new song in forever. So I know he was, you know, he wasn't high expensive. He wasn't. You know, Chris Brown prices Chris Brown. I bet y'.

[Shopify/OnDeck Advertiser]

All.

[Tam Bam]

Chris Brown could have came out there and said whatever the fuck he wanted, and they wouldn't have cut his mic off.

[AJ Holiday]

Hell, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Chris Brown could have been humping the floor, having sex on the floor, pulling women up on the stage, holding their legs up and all kind of shit. They wouldn't have stopped Chris Brown. One bitch.

[AJ Holiday]

That goes to show you, like, yeah, man. Like, it depends on what that person looking like, doing all the disrespectful, because don't nobody want no damn Trick Daddy. You see how he was up there hoping on that stage,

[Tam Bam]

girl. Sir.

[AJ Holiday]

Yuck. Get the minute the. Would I. I don't know if I would have, like, as a. Like, if I were an AKA I don't know that I would go see Trick Daddy right now. Yeah. Not to go home.

[Tam Bam]

If I was a me, I wouldn't go see Trick Daddy right now talking about AKA or any Greek affiliation. He would have to be on a. On a docket with a lot of other artists. For me to go see Trina. Need to be there. The city girls, everybody from My Pretty Ricky, everybody from Miami, they could have

[AJ Holiday]

got Trina to come. What are we talking about?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

They would have better off. Been better off getting Trina.

[Tam Bam]

Exactly. That would have made more sense. But it is what it is. What are we talking about this week?

[AJ Holiday]

You know, one of me and one of my friends, and she's a therapist, actually, so it's crazy that somebody told her that there is no such thing as balance. You know, everybody's always striving for balance in life. You're trying to balance work, you're trying to balance friends, you're trying to balance. I don't know, something on the headstand, everything. And balance just isn't a real thing. So that's why I wanted to talk about balance. Is it real? Is it attainable? Is it. Is it something you can ever actually acquire in life? And we'll be back after this commercial.

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[AJ Holiday]

All right, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

So we are back. And again I wanted to talk about balance. Tammy, do you think that you can actually ever have like real balance in life? And what would having balance actually even look like?

[Tam Bam]

You know, I, I want balance in Life. But so to me, balance doesn't. To me, balance isn't everything. Getting equal energy, I just don't think that's possible. Balance to me is like a scale, right? And we put the most important shit on one side of the scale. And then we put the little shit and stack them up on the other side of the scale. And it don't tip on either side. That's in my mind. So it's just like little pieces that equal all to this thing that makes my life full and balanced. But that shit don't never work. It's always one side tipping over. And it seems like if I'm doing good on one thing, the other thing is greatly neglected. If I'm making more money, I'm fat. If I'm in shape, swear to God,

[AJ Holiday]

I swear to God, that shit is fucking real. Because that's how I feel right the fuck now. Like I am. I be having shit going on and I just. I cannot find time to get back into a real routine. Because at this point, in order for me to actually seek balance, right, in all things, that's finances, health, love, career. I can't go to sleep. I would not be able to sleep.

[Tam Bam]

Then rest. Rest would be out of balance, right?

[AJ Holiday]

So you're always sacrificing something for this imaginary thing called balance. There is no such thing as balance. There's prioritizing your life prior, like you said. So you wouldn't have a scale. You would, I mean, like you would have. You. You would be prioritizing what's most important, you know, to the least important. But then when you got a bunch of least important, smaller things, they make a big thing.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. They turn into one big ass thing by itself. Yeah. That's why I say the scale's always tipping. It never works out.

[AJ Holiday]

So you think that maybe finding balance is something that people say just to make themselves, like, feel better? Like, I'm just trying to find balance, you know, I'm working on getting. Finding balance, like. And it's just something you, you will never attain, I think.

[Tam Bam]

I don't think people say it to make themselves feel better. I think people say, because they really aspire to that, you know, they really want that thing that just their life has this perfect balance. Because wouldn't that be great? Do you know anybody that has that? People faking like it on social media. Like that one white lady you had me following. I know her life is probably hectic as hell, but on social media it just looked perfect. Elena.

[AJ Holiday]

Elena, whatever her name, the Russian lady. I Love her.

[Tam Bam]

Okay?

[AJ Holiday]

That is like her house. That's my house. Okay?

[Tam Bam]

So perfect.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know that she has balance. And I remember I said I sent her page to my homegirl Shanaria, too. And Shanari was like, this is a maniac. Just because everything is in order, I believe that's where balance starts at, right? Just your home space. Because I know I've said this before, my second bedroom in my apartment is a fucking closet. And sometimes it's organized and sometimes it's not. My closets underneath my cabinets, but on the surface, everything is in fudgeing order until you open up a fucking door.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Fill it out. Knock you over.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And sometime when I'm laying in my bed, because I know I need to do something with that room, I see it and it's, like, hindering me from getting to the next thing I need to do, right? So.

[Tam Bam]

But instead of going attack it and just go to sleep because it's so stressful,

[AJ Holiday]

just avoid that shit all together. You know what I'm saying? When really my balance might start with. Right.

[Tam Bam]

Decluttering.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Get that room together, bruh. Listen. Room together. At one point, I had shit in a storage unit in la, shit in New York, in Columbia, and shit in the stores in Charlotte. Like, my life was completely in utter disarray. It was so much like, I'd be looking for shit and I'd be like, that's in la. I can't wear that. That's in la. I can't use that. That's in New York. Like. And now I'm finally. I'm still fucked up. Oh, y'. All. Don't get it twisted. It's still fucked up. I just moved into a place in Charlotte, and then a lot of my stuff is still in Columbia, so I'm slowly transitioning everything to Charlotte. But, girl, you said a mouthful with, like, decluttering. And then I hoard. I realized that I hoard clothes. And sometimes in the middle of the night, I'd be like, online. Like, I wake up out of my sleep and order some shit. And then when it come, I'd be like, why the fuck did I get that? I had this outfit that was like some shiny ass hot pink fuchsia tights that had the feet in it, you know, like, it was like leggings.

[State Farm Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

It wasn't even a stir up. It had the whole foot in it, right?

[AJ Holiday]

And it was like.

[Tam Bam]

And it had the top to go in. It had a bodysuit to go with it. And I was like, where the was

[AJ Holiday]

I go where this looking like I would look like a Oompa Loompa in that girl

[Tam Bam]

The. And I ordered and that just in the closet. And it's just so much stuff. Like I just want to have like a. Maybe a digital sale where everything is just five bucks and I just sell all of this that I just been buying in the middle of the night for no reason.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Throw that on your story. See if somebody want to buy it. Look, instead of doing poshmark and like that. Matter of fact, I might do that. I got so much with tags on it one time and never worn like that. You might want it for the low.

[Tam Bam]

I ordered it, I said I was gonna send it back and then missed the threshold to send it back. And then I just got shit with tags on it that I can't fit or just isn't flattering on me.

[AJ Holiday]

I have like discounts of fashion over because I got a hell of Fashion Nova shit that I couldn't send back. So Fashion Nova would be super cheap. Yeah, 5.99 for shipping, 4.99 for shipping or something like that. I might do that too, man.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. I gotta get rid of this clutter. I just feel like I don't have a social life no more like I used to be outside. I used to be doing stuff. I used to be, you know. And now I don't know. The last time I went and did anything, like fun with the girls.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I mean, you know, I always be telling people invite me places all the time. But I always need like two weeks notice at least. I gotta get my mind situated. Don't call me like the day before some shit if you really want me to come kick it because I gotta get my mind. People don't even know I live here. That's so crazy. It is dog. Like, I literally only leave my house sometimes. I'm not going out of town. I'm in. In the. And I only leave the house. For real. And when I say leave the house, I mean like my. The gym I go to is five minutes down the highway or I'll go to my apartment complex gym. But when I say like leave the house, I mean like actually drive down the highway, maybe cross town somewhere and go to dinner, lunch, whatever. I don't be doing that. I don't leave the house to go to no events.

[Tam Bam]

For real. Like, me neither. I don't. I don't be doing shit but working. I just feel like I'm just always chasing the next day and it's just like Girl, look at my fingernails. I got a band aid on both middle fingers because it's lifting at the bottom. Like, I haven't even had a moment to go get my nails done. Like, it's just bad.

[AJ Holiday]

So I was just about to ask you, like, what was suffering in your life right now? So I guess it's your two middle fingers.

[Tam Bam]

Not just that. I got my coochie hairy as hell. My fingernails need to be done. Like. Like, it's just a lot going on. Like, self care is what's missing. Okay? I have not had my legs hairy. Like, it's just a lot happening. Like, I really need a moment for myself.

[AJ Holiday]

Man only holds pussy always ready. Okay? My should be fucking wolfing until.

[Tam Bam]

Yes, that's where I'm at right now. But it's about to start getting hot. I gotta do something about this. My pussy look like Don King right now.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, you got a little gray streak, girl, you. Nobody wants to Granny's. Listen, man, that's a lie. Like, I had listen, because I know. I don't know about y', all, but I be. I be looking at my coochie. I was down there with a mirror one day and I saw a gray hair on my lips. I like to die.

[Tam Bam]

Pluck, pluck.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't even have gray hair on my head. Like, why the Gucci tired? I just felt like a real hoe when I saw that.

[Tam Bam]

Gray hair is wise old, wise one.

[AJ Holiday]

My down there eating like this younger than me. And is a gray hair right there? Like, no, that's.

[Tam Bam]

That's. I've been heck right here. So that ain't nothing. For real.

[AJ Holiday]

A long time ago, I have. I saw one strand one time.

[Tam Bam]

You don't have no gray hair on your head, though. So y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All let me tell y' all how Tammy tried to lie to me one time and told me I had gray hair. Tammy did my hair one time, y'. All. And I remember I was saying how I got no gray hair. She was like, yes, you do. I saw something in the back of your head. I'm like, wait, what you saw? Gray hair in the back of my head.

[Tam Bam]

Like a couple strands. It wasn't a lot.

[AJ Holiday]

You ain't see no fucking gray hair in the back of my damn head. I had one gray hair in the front one time in life.

[Tam Bam]

Get back there with a mirror, bitch. You'll see.

[AJ Holiday]

I did because once you told me I had some back there. I went to look and you ain't see nothing. I have no gray. No, you lied. I Did not.

[Tam Bam]

Yes, you did. I did not make it up to just make you.

[AJ Holiday]

You wanted me to have gray hair. Cause you got gray so bad. And I just was like, yeah, you

[Tam Bam]

got gray hair back here, girl.

[AJ Holiday]

I know it damn well. Most gray hair be in the front first. Boy, for sure. And I. I usually have like a gray hair pop out my middle finger. That's it. So I don't know when flicking off and smashing for a long time.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Gray hairs just start popping out.

[Tam Bam]

No, I definitely have gray hair,

[AJ Holiday]

but yeah. So maybe the problem really isn't like people need imbalance, it's just prioritizing what you got.

[Tam Bam]

No, I was just pushing the band aid back on my middle fingers. Okay, I'm sorry. Up over here. Okay. I'm getting it together this weekend.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, Yeah. I. I don't know. I just feel like anytime, like you just feel like you winning something, something, something is always going to get up something somewhere you're neglecting. So let's just. If you're in a relationship with somebody and you going hard at all things, that relationship probably is getting neglected.

[Tam Bam]

Yep. That's why a lot of relationships in. When people prioritizing their career over their relationship, men and women. You know, I've seen women who are very successful. I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends, and she's an attorney, and she's a very successful attorney. And, you know, her husband cheated on her and she had to take some accountability for how she had like, kind of checked out of the marriage and was only focused on her career and she was thriving. She was able to like, level them up in a huge way financially. But he wasn't getting the love and support that he needed as a man in the marriage. And he kind of stepped out and. Which don't make it okay. But she was able to see where her actions played a part in that.

[AJ Holiday]

A little bit. I would be able to. A little bit. Yeah, I understand that. I guess in that, in that scenario on the other side, because remember I had said that, you know, I want a man who ain't mad that we had sex because we chasing goals and like that. Like, what was he doing on his end? You know what I'm saying? Like, you had time to smash a whole nother woman while I'm over here grinding for us.

[Tam Bam]

Well, he just spent a little bit

[AJ Holiday]

more time, so I don't know. Maybe they. If he has time. Why? I guess. I don't know. I guess women with sex and shit like that, like, it's not like the Top of our priority list.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But if you're married to somebody, you need to make it a priority because that's level one.

[Shopify/OnDeck Advertiser]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

And she was not.

[AJ Holiday]

That's. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

She kept on declining, no, I'm tired. No, I'm tired. So he eventually got it somewhere else.

[AJ Holiday]

Are they still married?

[Tam Bam]

They're happily married.

[AJ Holiday]

I was just about to say that. They're probably happily married now.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So I don't know. I guess maybe that could be like a cure if. If something's lacking in relationship. Maybe your significant other should just cheat on you. Or you should just cheat on your significant other if they are lacking balance.

[Tam Bam]

No, that's bad advice.

[AJ Holiday]

That's good bad advice.

[Tam Bam]

Let me tell you something else that stressed me out. When y' all invite me to the function and I want to come, and then I see I gotta wear a certain color. Girl, I don't have time for that. I gotta find a blush Dusty Rose outfit for your event. I'm not coming. I don't have time for that. When did that become a thing that we gotta match every time we go out? I'm so sick of that.

[AJ Holiday]

I know.

[Tam Bam]

Can I just wear what I've already bought?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, the theme stuff. I mean, you can always do it. But are you. How are you gonna feel when you get there and everybody's in theme? Like, I mean, you got.

[Tam Bam]

I ain't going.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

You know, I' ma miss it. And then my intentions are always good. Like, okay, yeah, I need to go find me a Dusty Rose outfit before the next weekend. And then the next weekend get here. And I didn't order nothing. Now I'm express shipping some shit for 45 to get here overnight that don't fit. So now I'm missing the Dusty Rose event, you know, like.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. So right now, what do you think is winning in your life?

[Tam Bam]

Like, what does winning mean to me? Or what is winning?

[AJ Holiday]

What is what? So basically, what we trying to identify is what is high on your priority list right now? That's. That. That's successful.

[Tam Bam]

I got. I'm chasing money. I'm getting more money. You know, I'm getting more money right now. Like, like I said, I'm got all these kind of different hustles I got going. I don't want to call them hustles that sound like I really am baby D. I don't sell wheat, y'. All. That was a joke.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Who sell drugs aren't hustlers. Drugs sell themselves. Like, people who are Able to have multiple businesses, maybe some with employees, and you got this going, you got real estate going. All that's hustling to me.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, well, then under. Under that context, and I'm definitely hustling. I just got all these different avenues where I'm making some income, so that's good. But I keep saying I'm starting 75 soft. I ain't starting. The only thing soft is my arms. Yeah, I was gonna go soft because either way, I'm. I got so much on my plate that I don't have time for her. I don't have time to do no two workouts a day. But if I did one workout a day, five days a week, that's more likely. And I was supposed to start yesterday, but after I did that apartment, those. I went into 97 units yesterday doing those housing inspection. All I wanted to do was get in the shower and lay down after that. So I did not prioritize my fitness, but I felt like my phone, my watch said I walked 12,000 steps. As far as I'm concerned, I went to the gym. No, for real.

[AJ Holiday]

Because, listen, people who be getting them 10,000 steps in a day, they literally. They definitely be losing weight for sure. I am so sedentary, bitch. I do not get most days. Let me see how many times I can walk around this right here. I do not get 5, 000 steps in most days.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, so me neither.

[AJ Holiday]

Mailbox. And my watch literally be saying, like, why don't you think about taking a walk right now for lunch? It literally says it just like that. Did you think about taking a walk today?

[Tam Bam]

Not the watch asking you what you think about taking a watch

[AJ Holiday]

or you should think about taking a walk today. It says like that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Hit the button on the side.

[Tam Bam]

Shut up.

[AJ Holiday]

But I have time, though. I have time to take a watch, y'. All. Let me tell y' all what. I prioritize too much. When I tell y'.

[OnDeck/Nissan Advertiser]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

I keep saying, I'm gonna make these T shirts. I love to lay down. I love to rest. That is what I aspire to have Very, very, very slow mornings. So a white girl I follow on Instagram who be doing these high ticket sales, promotions and shit like that, like, that's her whole Instagram shit. And she. She's always talking about slow mornings. I love a slow morning. I like to be awake, doing absolutely nothing but rubbing my feet on my sheets underneath the COVID and scrolling the Internet and ordering off Amazon. Like, I like that.

[Tam Bam]

That sounds great.

[AJ Holiday]

And that's my problem.

[Tam Bam]

Right, but that sounds great. That's not a problem. If you can live that type of life. That is such a lovely existence. I feel like I wake up every morning. Like, what time is it? That's how I feel. Like I wake up every morning. I know, but I try to set the intention. Like, I put on a good song to start the day, but I always wake up feeling like I'm late.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I don't. I don't like feeling like I'm hustling. I don't like, I don't like a busy schedule. I don't like feeling like I got 20 things to do, because with my mind, how it's set up, if I had 20 things to do, I'd end up doing none of them, right? So I do. I set realistic goals right, for the extra time I have, and I do at least one or two of those things that I need to do. And that's it, bitch. Because if I say, am I okay today? I got a whole List of 15 Things I Need to do today, I will literally lay the fuck back down. I get overwhelmed that I haven't even started yet. So I, I, I just know my, My psyche, and I'm not about to trick myself every. Well, I guess maybe I need to try to trick myself into doing more because I have a little bit extra time. I could be doing some shit, and I just don't.

[Tam Bam]

I feel like I just. I overpack my schedule with. I got to do every day, and it's. And then when it's time to do it, I'd be like, this is impossible.

[AJ Holiday]

But do you push through and do it, or you say it?

[Tam Bam]

Sometimes I. There's, you know, the time run out. Sometimes I push through and say, you know, I get it done. And I'll be like, how the did I do all of that today? And then some days it'd be like, I, you know what? The 24 hour hours is up. The day is over. I can't do nothing else. And then some days, I like it.

[AJ Holiday]

People get on my nerve when they say, you got the same 24, but y' all not sleeping. Your. Your pee is real dark. You know, you're not even drinking enough water right? So you doing all this to die young because you're not taking care of yourself.

[Tam Bam]

That part.

[State Farm Advertiser]

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[Tam Bam]

States.

[State Farm Advertiser]

It's yours. Three generations right there, keeping the tradition alive. But if you ask dad to really keep the tradition going, you need to get insurance. And you already know you need to get State Farm. Because your agent, well, he gets tradition too. His dad was an agent, his grandpa too. So he gets you generation to generation. Remember to choose the agents that your family counted on. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

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[AJ Holiday]

My, my nieces, I love them so much, man. But right now I be feeling like I'm working for them, right? So that they can call me on a whim for to me, astronomical amounts of money, right? They have become a fucking bill. And what I. What I have, what I've been trying to get them to understand. Like I have missed doing a lot of things because I have it right? Or either even either I didn't have the finances for the thing or I don't have the time for the thing. You cannot do everything. Sometimes you might have to miss a friend's birthday. You know what I'm Saying a concert, a trip, you can't do all the things, especially if you don't got the motherfucking money to do it right. In my thing, I just. Some things, I just don't have the time to do the things so I might miss. I'm trying to do better. We're not like missing people birthdays and like that now, but I need a super duper advanced notice. But those are like the silent sacrifices that people have to make. Sometimes you can't do all the things. Sometimes when you are. You're in your. And you're. You're in a building mode, you might even lose friends. Right. Sometimes I can't stand, like, the people on social media who say, like, stop calling them today and see if y' all ever talk again. Or like that. Like, everybody got going on. So I know I can do better at being the person who initiates the phone calls sometimes. But I just. Everybody got life going on. I do appreciate when people hit me up checking on me, and I could do better at checking on people, but I'm never mad at anybody for not checking on me, especially if I ain't check on them.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I definitely have had, like, friendships that kind of dissolve because I stopped being the one always reaching out. And it wasn't like, I don't fuck with you because I only. I'm the only one calling. But I am gonna like, I can't be the only one calling, you know? Mm. So is that weird?

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, I just. So me and one of my friends, we used to talk every single day for hours. I mean, we'd be doing other shit, but we would be talking at the same time. Right. She has since had a baby. I have the podcast, and I also have a full time job going on as well. Right. And everything else you got to squeeze in between. We don't talk as much. And when we do talk, we still catch up and all. I said all that ship it is. No hard feelings.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But her and I both have friends that we are like, kind of on outs with because somebody doesn't have enough time. Like, I'm not that needy of a friend. She's not that needy of a friend. So our friendship relationship works because we are like minded in that way.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I wouldn't say I'm on the outs. I just feel like maybe we're not as close anymore, but it's all love. Like it ain't no beef, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

But I used to say to her, if I don't call you, we ain't never Gonna talk. I gotta do better. I gotta do better.

[AJ Holiday]

That sounds like me to some people. But then I know that there are some people that I prioritize and I make sure I call them right. And I don't know, maybe what they talk. Maybe what me and that person talks about is just more interesting than what me and this other person maybe got more in common. I don't know what it is, but I. I have prioritized people over other people.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you only have a certain amount of time. There are some friends I avoid talking to because I know when I talk to them, it's going to take four hours out of my day. So we gotta schedule the talk

[Tam Bam]

where she was like. She. Her response was like, girl, you sound like my mama. I don't even talk. I don't even get a chance to talk to my mama. Like, I don't call my mama. My mama say, if I don't call you, I ain't gonna hear from you.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So she might.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, you know, and I. I know that about her, so it's all love. But I don't. I don't talk to her as much because I don't call as much anymore either. But then also my life. I ain't got time to be calling none of you bitches no more right now.

[AJ Holiday]

If we talk, we talk.

[Tam Bam]

I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

My phone don't ring some days. And I be good with it. Like, if I get a little text, I'll text back. But I'm. I. I'm good with talking on the phone too. You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

One of my friends who never. I always tell her the same thing. Like, if I don't call you, we don't talk. I got a call from her today, actually, and she said, I miss you. I was like, are you sick? Is somebody sick?

[AJ Holiday]

You'd be meaning to call, but the day go by so quick, you know what I'm saying? And then you also considering what the other person got going on, it's just. Yeah, I don't know. But you got to prioritize everything that's important, including people, right? Yeah. But this, this thing says you have to break down what season you're in. I would think I am in a hustling season, but not hustling enough, Right. Or maybe I am doing enough, but feeling like you can. Maybe I'm at my capacity and sitting here thinking I can do more. I said I needed to get. And my boyfriend, he's been on my neck too, to at least write One hour a day. I can do that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? Like right now I' ma eat and lay down and Twitter look on the Instagram for a while, like I could have been writing.

[Tam Bam]

But instead of looking at Instagram tonight. Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. You right. You right.

[Tam Bam]

Ain't gonna be on Instagram that you can't see later. I promise that will still be there.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't see the whole Internet, y'. All. The whole Internet people send me. And I just. Just laugh at it, but I haven't seen it.

[Tam Bam]

First of all, your algorithm on Instagram is next level.

[AJ Holiday]

The.

[Tam Bam]

You'd be sending me some of the wildest, weirdest.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I've been unseen. All the regular that my algorithm just starts like, you don't seen the whole Internet. You seen this? They just start throwing out there and it just get crazier and crazier.

[Tam Bam]

I'm like, how did you find this?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I don't know. But y', all, I don't know. Whatever you got to do to try and find balance. I don't know what that thing is. I know for sure. Balance is just not a real thing. I mean, and this just goes back to like, writing down goals and shit like that, trying to understand where you are. So you got to do your current self assessment, right? Where you are, where you want to be, what things are most important, and just make small changes every single day. That's. That's what I'm working on. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I'm just definitely in the hustling phase. But I also wanna. I do want a husband. So rough out here, y'. All. Me and that from January broke up. Just so y' all know.

[AJ Holiday]

January Bay.

[Tam Bam]

They got me that watch. That's so crazy. Why a Rolex? And it disappear. He ain't disappeared. He's still around, but we just not that anymore.

[AJ Holiday]

So what changed? It just.

[Tam Bam]

He said I'm too much for him. Like, I'm just like, my lifestyle is too much. And he's like, very simple. And he can't live in the fear of what I'm gonna say on the podcast every day.

[AJ Holiday]

And does he listen to the show?

[Tam Bam]

He has. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Why? Who told him to do that?

[Tam Bam]

I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

I would prefer for my not to listen to this show, but that's how the we met. So, like, so now I got excuse. All types, like. He don't got no excuse. You know, exactly. Exactly who the AJ is.

[Tam Bam]

Right? And then, you know There were things about him that align for me either. But we still, like, tight, you know? Like, we still. We still kick it, and it's cool. But that's not my husband, you know? Yeah. So the girl's back outside, I guess just in time for summer.

[AJ Holiday]

The older I get, the less I really care about summer. No, I'm a Gemini. I love summer. I'm thawing out right now. No, the less I care about, like, I don't know. I'm not scared of not getting married. I'm not scared of not having a kid. I'm just not.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's how I'm starting to feel the same way. But I would like that. I don't even know if I want marriage, per se. I just want, like, some real companionship, I think, and a lot of money.

[AJ Holiday]

That, I mean. Okay, so now, I guess now you start prioritizing things more, because when, you know, you in a hustling phase, you get all the money, right? Then you might start focusing even more, like, on relationship and like that. Like, at what age? Most people don't get to the M and like that until right now in their 40s. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

It's just

[AJ Holiday]

statistics. Okay. So most, if you're in your 20s and 30s, like, looking at Instagram, thinking you behind, you are not. I promise you 40s and 50s, is when you really focus and hone in on getting the bag. I promise. And anybody else is an anomaly. You know what I'm saying? There's a lot of anomalies right now, but they're scamming. Okay, Right.

[Tam Bam]

And, you know, like, so, yeah, I told you I was doing, like, the housing inspections for the hood homes, and the building that we were in was a senior facility. Y' all, please start putting money into your ira. Please start saving for your retirement. I know you're young and you got the whole life ahead of you, but can get different real fast. Looking at those people, those elderly people living in these conditions that, you know, some were very unfavorable. It's sad. And then they ain't got nobody to take care of them. The money that they get from the government is not that much. And they just living like. It just makes you realize how important it is to prepare for your retirement, to prepare for your later seasons of life, because ain't nobody gonna take care of you unless you got children. And sometimes a lot of those people probably have children, too, that's barely trying to take care of themselves. You know, they can't take care of their parents. So save for that baby, I got out of there and sent somebody to my IRA quick.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, is it. Is it mostly old men? Because, you know, they say we. We be the ones dying alone and like that. But we know the old folks homes and hospice be full of men.

[Tam Bam]

It was both. It was women and men in there. It was. But honestly, a lot of the women had partners. I will say that it wasn't a lot of women by themselves. It was more men by theyself, but they were still living in poor as hell together. Don't sound fun either. Shit, you know, I mean, I guess it's nice to have companionship, but as I was just aspiring to. But I don't want to. I don't like it. Like, just save your money, guys. That's all. I say that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, it's just getting tough. I mean, I feel like millennials. We got the short end of the stick, right? Because we are in mortgage loan debt, college student loan debt. Like, you gotta find. You gotta have multiple things you're doing that's generating income so that you can have the money to invest in these things and have money to live is just. It's tough. Right, but that should be at the top of your priority list, right? The future. The future should be at the top. I know I bullshitted for the last fucking decade. Like, I did what the fuck I wanted to do, and now I gotta play catch up. Yeah. Because not even really play catch up because it ain't like. Like, I mean, it wasn't too fucking bad. I was still living.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

But I'm talking about, like, in investing and. And thinking about a kid that I might have. Right. What am I gonna have for them? Leave for them? Like, yeah, you gotta set that type of. My mama got a vanilla fold on all of us, child. And she got her whole life set up to where I can just hand somebody some. And we good. That's how I want. I don't want to have to, you know, have a kid having a headache if I die.

[Tam Bam]

Right. That part.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what I'm working on. The future. The future me. We halfway out of here.

[Tam Bam]

Who speak for you?

[AJ Holiday]

Probably gonna live to about 95, but that, like, it's halfway.

[Tam Bam]

It's halfway about to be 237 years old.

[AJ Holiday]

Watch. Not this life. You will come back. Oh, y' all ain't coming back. This is my last. I'm out of here, man. This is ghetto. I ain't never coming back to this planet.

[Tam Bam]

Earth it is, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all, we about to get the up out of here. All right, y', all, if you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on iHeartRadio app, wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram. So you want to get on Follow me now. Tam Bam.

[Tam Bam]

Kick it, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

It's official. Tam Bam on Instagram. Y' all can follow me as well. Follow We Talk Back podcast. Follow us there. Oh, y', all, if y' all want to see us, we won't be doing but we will be at the podcast festival in Atlanta, Georgia. Atlanta, Georgia. Excuse me. At Pullman Yards, April 25th. Y' all should come out, hang out with us, meet us. We're gonna be watching the shows with y' all ass and we might be doing something. We'll see. Maybe we'll create some content with you guys.

[AJ Holiday]

We probably should have did a after party.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that would have been fun.

[AJ Holiday]

We, we still got time. What we doing? We doing everything. The benefit off the Black Effect Podcast festival.

[Tam Bam]

Because they'll never have no after party for real. Not no real one.

[AJ Holiday]

We might need looking to doing that. We got a couple weeks.

[Tam Bam]

We'll see. All right, y', all. I love y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

Remember speak now and never hold your balance. I don't know. Bye. Because they know it's too.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, deuces, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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[AJ Holiday]

Whether you're at home, at the play,

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

Guaranteed human.