Dumbbihathon

Summary

We Talk Back — “Dumbbihathon” (July 2, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this episode of We Talk Back, hosts TamBam and AJ Holiday dive into a hilariously candid “Dumb Bitch Files” marathon, reading listener submissions about questionable decisions, sticky situations, and boundary-pushing drama. From period product debates and wild news stories to truly jaw-dropping relationship confessions, TamBam and AJ deliver unfiltered commentary and sisterly advice with their signature wit and camaraderie. If you’ve ever made a questionable choice or found yourself in a mess, this episode is here to remind you: you’re not alone.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Vibes: The Realness of Womanhood (02:23–06:37)

• Period Struggles and Sanitary Product Talk
  • TamBam and AJ open up about the injustices and messiness of periods, advocating for things like “hazardous pay” for women and free menstrual products.
  • AJ on menstrual cups: “It is kind of messy, but it’s healthier than a tampon... But you do have to be careful with them damn cups because you got to position it right. So if y’all got a crooked coochie on the inside, it ain’t gonna work.” (06:09)
  • Both share comically relatable period horror stories, including school-day embarrassments and overnight pad tricks.

Memorable Moment:
AJ’s story of being mortified in 6th grade when a classmate called out her visible pad:

“That has lived rent free in my head since sixth grade.” (03:43)

---

2. Weekend Recaps: Bread Betrayals and Expensive Outings (06:41–09:12)

• Eating Out Guilt
  • AJ shares a story about trying to avoid eating out, her friend tempting her with “bullshit ass bread,” breaking her fast, and then ending up cooking real food at home.
  • Message: Sometimes, you need to go solo to truly make lifestyle changes.

Quote:
AJ: “When you really like trying to change and do something different, you kinda gotta really be by yourself.” (08:12)

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3. Stupid Internet News: Wild Women, Investigations, & Viral Crimes (09:12–19:05)

• Vigilante Justice Girlfriend

  • A woman solved a murder by dating the murderer—an ultimate “girls’ girl” move.
  • AJ: “Bitch, you’re weird. But she’s a girls girl, so.” (11:28)
  • TamBam: “The ultimate girls’ girl... taking one for the team and next level nosy.” (11:32)

• Boy With Autism Solo at JFK

  • Discussion about an autistic 11-year-old who Ubered to JFK, possibly buying his own ticket to Japan.
  • TamBam: “This nigga was on the way to Japan, y’all... That’s kind of wild, but it’s kind of cute.” (12:46; 14:03)

• When Crime Goes Viral

  • Story of a woman arrested for showing off stolen Louis bags on TikTok to Young Miami’s “Spin that.”
  • AJ: “Why do people have to post everything on the fucking internet, man? Just dumb.” (18:34)
  • TamBam: “You ain’t been home three months and you already back for some dumb ass shit.” (18:48)

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4. Dumb Bitch Files: Listener Emails & Group Therapy (19:06–73:00)

(a) Therapist Conflict (23:15–30:26)

• Listener discovers her trusted therapist knows her boyfriend from church and accidentally drops his name in session.
• AJ: “This therapist is too far in her life… That’s what I’m feeling like. Bitch, are you—were you asking Marcus about me?” (27:56)
• TamBam: “Ain’t no way I would have been able to just move on talking like, bitch, you ain’t just say Marcus.” (26:44)
• Consensus: Trust is breached; honesty and a confrontation are needed, but the listener should consider finding a new therapist after getting the whole story.

(b) Workplace Romance Gone Wrong (31:03–40:49)

• Listener’s office romance gets exposed after her partner, now her boss’s boss, is promoted. HR audits and prints their incriminating texts.
• TamBam: “You can’t blame him, bitch, you joined. You did. You were a willing participant...” (34:49)
• AJ: “You just gotta update your resume, sweet pea. This might be divine redirection, and you can suck Michael’s dick in peace.” (34:55)

(c) Best Friend & Business Betrayal (40:49–50:22)

• Business partner trashes listener to their assistant, while smiling to her face. Audio receipts come from security cams.
• TamBam: “Hearing your best friend talk about you in her own voice will change you.” (42:54)
• AJ: “In any relationship, if you are no longer comprehending what that person is saying and they’re not comprehending what you’re saying, that is really the end.” (48:40)
• Advice: Confront her and consider all options—sometimes even successful partnerships need to end if trust is lost.

(d) Questioning Sexuality—Best Friend Crush (54:01–73:00)

• Listener, never previously attracted to women, is falling for her best friend. She feels jealousy, confusion, and heartbreak as her bestie dates a man.
• AJ, on laying on your friend’s shoulder: “Y’all gay.” (55:48)
• TamBam: “Would you tell her or would you take it to the grave? I would never tell her.” (61:46)
• AJ: “That’s not your friend. At this point, that’s your lover. In your mind, you’re not—that’s not your friend.” (69:41)
• The duo explores similar stories from their own lives, majoring on self-honesty and the pain of unspoken love.
• Advice: Consider creating distance or being honest with yourself first; don’t sabotage her relationship. Maybe explore your feelings outside this friendship.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• AJ, period struggle:
  “Hype me up. Like we need disaster pay as women for having to walk around and still be happy while fucking hemorrhaging essentials.” (02:47)
• TamBam on the period pad:
  “You know that boogie be looking like a pamper, girl.” (03:43)
• On the woman who dated a killer:
  “Taking one for the team and next level nosy, right? You gotta be nosy as is that nosy.” (11:36, TamBam)
• AJ’s workplace romance advice:
  “This might be divine redirection, and you can suck Michael’s dick in peace. Y’all ain’t gotta worry about getting caught.” (34:55)
• On the business betrayal:
  “Hearing your best friend talk about you in her own voice will change you.” (42:54, TamBam)
• On falling for a friend:
  “That’s not your friend. At this point, that’s your lover. In your mind, you’re not—that’s not your friend.” (69:41, AJ)
• Final words:
  “Speak now and never hold your dumb bitchism—period. Because we’ve all been a dumb bitch at least once or twice.” (74:07–74:15, TamBam and AJ)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment/Event | |------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 02:23–06:37| Period stories and menstrual product real talk | | 06:41–09:12| Weekend recap: breaking a bread fast—literally | | 09:12–19:05| Dumb news: murder-solving, runaway kid, viral theft | | 23:15–30:26| Dumb Bitch Story 1: Therapy triangle confusion | | 31:03–40:49| Dumb Bitch Story 2: Workplace romance exposed | | 40:49–50:22| Dumb Bitch Story 3: Business partner betrayal | | 54:01–73:00| Dumb Bitch Story 4: Best friend love & sexuality | | 74:07–74:15| Closing wisdom: We’ve all been a dumb bitch |

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Tone & Style

• Raw, comedic, and deeply relatable.
• Sisterly banter, shade, and compassionate (if brutally honest) advice.
• Frequent use of explicit language and playful slang (“dumb bitch”, “girls’ girl”, “crooked coochie”).
• Open laughter at their own and each other’s messes—inviting listeners to be part of the girlfriend circle.

---

Takeaway

Dumbbihathon is a chaotic, heartfelt ride through bad decisions and hard-earned life lessons. TamBam and AJ remind us that everyone makes mistakes, but with a little humor and honesty, you can always talk back, learn, and move forward.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. He talks back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up y'? All? It's your girl, A.J.

[Ashley]

holiday.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up Tam Tam y'?

[Tam Bam]

All, it's me, Tam Bam. I love Y', all. I miss y'.

[Tony Ayo]

All.

[Tam Bam]

Welcome back. How you feeling?

[AJ Holiday]

Welcome back. Welcome. Like. Okay. It's that time of the month and

[Tam Bam]

I'm sorry myself up. I'm trying to hype myself.

[AJ Holiday]

Hype me up. Like we need disaster pay as women for having to walk around and still be happy while fucking hemorrhaging essentials.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. Girl doing these inspections with a pad on. What the fuck?

[AJ Holiday]

You need to try the cups, man. You scared?

[Tam Bam]

I'm scared of like with that shit, like, pouring it out.

[AJ Holiday]

No, it is a mess, I'll tell you that. I can't do that.

[Tam Bam]

I'm a faint.

[AJ Holiday]

No, it is. It is kind of messy, but it's more. It's just healthier than a tampon sitting up in there for a while or you're not getting home.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you're supposed to change your maxi pad like every two hours or some shit.

[Commercial Announcer]

Girl, I be wearing.

[Tam Bam]

I be at the point where I be wearing the sleep ones all day.

[AJ Holiday]

I know that boogie be looking like a pamper girl. I remember Ramon Chisholm. If you listening middle school, I might have been in sixth grade. And you know, I have always been self conscious about the pads, man. And I remember one day we was outside at recess, sixth grade. And he was like, I can see your pad ever since that. Those that has lived rent free in my head since sixth grade.

[Tam Bam]

And now you be worried about somebody seeing your pad. I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't wear them.

[Tam Bam]

I was doing this always on. Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Big as hell.

[Tam Bam]

I know it is. If my butt already big, would it always be on the back?

[AJ Holiday]

I even buy like the overnight ones. I just put two of them together.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. You don't need to try always these. It's like a. It's a panty.

[AJ Holiday]

A little pamper. I mean, like a.

[Tam Bam]

Like a pamper is. Yeah, it's like an adult pamper. I had that on. I wore one of those to work.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm gonna do that. I already hate wearing underwear, so now I gotta wear a pimple. I don't want to.

[Tam Bam]

I'm.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm still gonna feel like. Like somebody see all of the. That I got going on, man. Disaster. Hazardous. Hazardous pay and extra time off from work. And we need free female products. Like, why are we paying for that? That's like a. A something we have to pay for for our entire lives. Damn near.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

40 of our lives. And then if you have a daughter. Yeah. For the rest of our lives, you pay for that.

[Tam Bam]

It just seems unfair. I don't feel like, other countries require that of their women to pay for sanitary napkins.

[AJ Holiday]

It's probably some places that don't even have them.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, they just free bleed. That's a thing in the States now.

[AJ Holiday]

Toilet tissue rags, you know what I'm saying? Before. Yeah, before pads and tampons and stuff like that. I'm pretty sure grandma's was wearing.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, no, they used to pin they little pads, like.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, girl, like, we've come a long way. Yeah, because it's probably 100 cotton. Have you seen those videos online with people holding the pads up to the.

[Tam Bam]

And it had mold in it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. And you got it up against your vagina.

[AJ Holiday]

I've been using cups for a while now, so I use the pads when I go to side. This is. This is. But anyway, I use a pad when I go to sleep and I use the cups, you know, during the day. But you do have to be careful with them damn cups because you got to position it right? So if y' all got a crooked coochie on the inside, it ain't gonna work.

[Tam Bam]

It ain't gonna work.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Some people got inside.

[Tam Bam]

Somebody find me passed out on the floor trying to pour that cup down the toilet.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, my God.

[Tam Bam]

What'd you do over the weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

What the hell did I do this weekend? You know, the weekends be a blur. A lot of the times I went. I did work out. I went to hot pilates and hot yoga, went to my mama house, sat there for about four hours on Sunday catching up on life stuff, and that's about it. And this worked out. And grocery shopping. I probably spent about 400 on groceries. And then, oh, I did hang out with my homegirl on Saturday, and I told her explicitly that I was not eating out because I got groceries at

[Tam Bam]

the house and then you ate out.

[AJ Holiday]

So she was like, well, I'll treat you because we ain't do nothing for your birthday. Right. Because I was out of the country. So we go eat out at this new restaurant. And mind y', all, I have been fasting from sugar and bread since I got back from Costa Rica. And I broke my bread fast because they brought this loaf to the table. The waitress was saying how great it was. It's like the feature item, like, appetizer at this restaurant, this new place in Charleston. My homegirl bragging about how good it was when she took her boyfriend to that restaurant for his birthday just a couple weeks ago. Girl, that bullshit ass bread bitch. I could have made my mahi sandwich like I wanted the day before. Broke My fast. I'm like, you know, you really not a good friend, bitch. Because if you know I'm doing this, why'd you even order that bread, right? When you really like trying to change and do something different, you kind of gotta really be by yourself.

[Tam Bam]

You do have to isolate.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, man. Cause why the fuck. And then the bill, all we had was tuna tartare and 12 oysters. Two drinks, $164.

[Tam Bam]

And bread.

[AJ Holiday]

And bread. $10 bread. And ended up at my house. I'm cooking crab legs. Cause we still ain't full now, right? We got to my house, I cooked crab legs, scallops and shrimp. So she came to my house and ate my fucking groceries.

[Tam Bam]

Ate real dinner.

[AJ Holiday]

Ate my damn groceries up.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And we watched from. So that's what I did. That was Saturday.

[Tam Bam]

I need to watch that show because I keep seeing people making like, just hilarious. She be going crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

Heard that video was funny as hell. Because it's the truth.

[Tam Bam]

I ain't got nothing to tell you about my weekend. So we can just move on. I ain't do shit. So we could just go on who it is.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, let's get into stupid Internet news then. So I seen this headline. It says, woman was deeply moved by the story of a missing pregnant woman. That she decided to take matters into her own hands by dating her murderer to get information about her case. So imagine like there's a headline about a pregnant woman missing. Police have deemed her probably, you know, somebody's probably done something to her or actually she is dead.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

And this woman then starts dating the murderer to solve the crime. So it says Kelsey Schuling skilling was a 21 year old pregnant woman who disappeared in Pueblo. In Pueblo in February 2013 after traveling to meet her boyfriend, Don Delucas. Is this real? Who the fuck is Don Delucas? For years, the case remained unsolved and deeply troubled the community. In 2016, Lawrence Shore became personally invested in finding answers and took an. Took an unusual step by guiding. Excuse me, what the fuck? By building a relationship with Lucas to gain his trust and learn more about what happened over time. Sure. Gathered critical information, including Lucas admitting he was the person seen on the surveillance moving Kelsey's abandoned car. She later turned everything over to investigators and became a key witness in court. Her testimony helped strengthen the case in 2021. I mean, and in 2021 when Lucas was convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to life without parole. So, yeah, even with the conviction, Kelsey remains have never been found. Leaving part of the story Unsolved.

[Tam Bam]

Damn, that's crazy. To put your own life on the line and coochie to solve a case and your vagina. Because you know she was sleeping with him.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because how he's not about to get vulnerable with you and just start talking about murder on that camera.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's wild. She kind of nuts a little bit, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Bitch, you're weird. But she's a girls girl, so.

[Tam Bam]

The ultimate girls girl.

[AJ Holiday]

Super girls girl. This is next level.

[Tam Bam]

Taking one for the team and next level nosy, right? You gotta be nosy as is that nosy.

[AJ Holiday]

She's a detective at heart. She's just in the wrong field.

[Tam Bam]

Well, she need to join the task force.

[AJ Holiday]

I heard they was hiring. I heard the FBI was hiring.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Get paid for it. Because that is next level. Damn. All right, so listen to this one.

[AJ Holiday]

Hey. Somebody commented and said FBI females be investigating, period.

[Tam Bam]

So listen to this. A Long island family is counting their blessings after 11 year old Jamal Johnson, a boy with autism from Valley Stream, was safely united with his loved ones after making his way to JFK without anyone knowing. According to officials, Jamal ordered an Uber by himself and traveled to JFK before being spotted standing in TSA security line at Terminal 1 around 6:30am this nigga was on the way to Japan, y'. All ticket he know he was in? He probably just walked straight up the TSA line because you don't, you can have a ticket on your phone, you don't have to go to the counter.

[AJ Holiday]

But I'm saying, did he purchase a ticket to Japan? Like how so I did read like he has autism, right? So first of all, he had an Uber black pull up at his parents house, right? Whose credit card is connected to the Uber that he's using. And I want to know, did he just go to the airport? Like he's flying somewhere and didn't purchase a ticket or did he actually have a ticket and about to go through TSA to fly to Japan?

[Tam Bam]

Well, it don't say nothing about him having a plane ticket, but I wouldn't doubt it. This nigga different, right?

[AJ Holiday]

He's smart as hell. You know this, when I, when I think about shit like this is almost like especially autism, people with autism, because everybody pretty much has some characteristics, right? Everything is, is, is deemed some type of something else. So that's why it's, it's a spectrum. But imagine that him in another lifetime was, it was a Japanese man, right?

[Tam Bam]

He's just trying to.

[AJ Holiday]

His spirit is longing for Japan because out of all places like, what were you watching on tv? What made you watching some anime, Right? You just fuck my family. I'm about to fly to Japan at 11.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's kind of wild, but it's kind of cute.

[AJ Holiday]

You remember the movie Leave the world Behind?

[Tam Bam]

No, I've never seen it.

[AJ Holiday]

You didn't watch it? Damn. Okay, so it was one of the first movies on Michelle and Barack Obama's production studios and. And Leave the world Behind. It's like one of them doomsday, end of the world type shit.

[Tam Bam]

But Marsa Hashasala, I don't know how to say his name. It's a man.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, I believe that's. Yeah, I believe that's the actor.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. I know I did see that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So remember the little. The. The white family, Their daughter, it's like she couldn't wait to get the. Away from them. So when got real up, she went to like, somebody had like a doomsday type house girl. She was over there watching friends, not giving a. What was happening wherever we're family, like, I guess. I don't know. Some people don't need tribalism. I don't need no family. That baby said, I'm getting the hell up out of here.

[Tam Bam]

And this was watching Friends starting from episode one. All right, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

So we all love Spin that. Spin that. Okay, that is a summer banger at this point. But I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

I was. Hold on, let me just say this. I was in a car with my little old boo. Cause we ain't booze no more. But we was in the car and I put that song on and I was like pointing at him. I was like spinaching. And he literally turned the music down and remixed it to a Save that shit. And I mean, he just was coming up with all the reasons I needed to save my money at rhyming off.

[AJ Holiday]

I seen somebody do like a remix. Save that shit.

[Tam Bam]

Or maybe that's what he was singing in. Cause I don't know. But go ahead. What happened?

[AJ Holiday]

Woman arrested after posting a TikTok to young Miami's spin net showing off Louis Vuitton bags she stole worth $7,000. The connection between Janice Downs and young Miami stems from a social media video used as evidence by detectives. Do I sound good? Right?

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Downs, a Prolific Organized Retail fifth suspect in Western Washington, was recently arrested on June twelf 2026 for shoplifting high end designer goods, according to court documents filed by the Bellevue police department investigators. Investigators link Downs to the crime after discovering a tik tok Video of her mother Janice Wy holding up stolen luxury handbags while a viral Young Young Miami song referencing boosting and scamming played in the background. Surveillance footage from a Seattle Nordstrom captured Downs wearing a what? A Brook A Brooke. What is a B U R Q A? What's that? To conceal her identity while she and an accomplice distract her.

[Commercial Announcer]

I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. Distracted employees to steal two Louis Vuitton bags. Is that. So? Shortly after the heist, the solar merchandise was showcased on Down's Instagram account while her mother posted the video featuring the Young Miami track Downs is currently being held in King county jail on $215,000 bill. God damn her. Charges include first degree organized retail theft as well as outstanding fugitive warrant from Oregon involving 16 theft related counts. This arrest comes just months after she was released from a previous 33 month prison sentence for multi story Lululemon theft operation.

[Tam Bam]

Girl, you was in jail for 33 months and now you came home and went right back to jail. Have you. Did they teach you nothing in jail?

[AJ Holiday]

Cuz she man especially if you go to the fast girl you going to come up with more skills, knowledge is

[Tam Bam]

at least, at least have the sense enough to know not to post the bags. Post the money that you made from selling the bags. If you want to post something, they can't, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

And the boosters get on my nerves because y', all she'll steal two bags for 7,000 and be trying to get the same price she paid for them. I mean didn't pay for them. The same price for the product.

[Tam Bam]

Well, you can go in the store. Why would I buy from you? I could get you in the store at this point.

[AJ Holiday]

Bird Greens. Why do people have to post everything on the fucking Internet, man? Just dumb.

[Tam Bam]

Just dumb. You belong in jail. You belong back. You ain't been home three months and you already back for some dumb ass shit.

[AJ Holiday]

Shame.

[Tam Bam]

Disappointed in you.

[AJ Holiday]

Spend that shit.

[Tam Bam]

Spend your days locked up. Okay. Cause I ain't mad at. I mean listen, get it how you live. What are we talking about today,

[Ryan Reynolds]

child?

[AJ Holiday]

All these goddamn dumb bitch stories. Listen, we be asking for dumb bitch stories every week damn near. And we have a whole nother email box that I know in the beginning of the podcast. Like that is the email address that we would share for dumb bitch stories and we haven't been checking it. So we got hella dumb bitch stories. So today's episode is dedicated to the dumb bitches. This is the Dumb Bitch files.

[Tam Bam]

We'll be Back here.

[AJ Holiday]

We'll be right back.

[Tam Bam]

We'll be right back.

[Commercial Announcer]

This past weekend, like every other Sunday, you were on the court with the guys, playing ball. Just a quick pickup game, living out your hoop dreams. No triple doubles, but mean set of threes in between buckets. One of the homers mentioned, he calls on a new crib. This is big. And while everyone's asking about housewarming and making plans to celebrate, you're asking the real questions. Like, has he spoken to his State Farm agent yet about coverage? See, homeownership is one thing, but the right coverage is the real game changer. Even more than your last hot streak, it's how you protect your legacy. Dropping buckets and bars on the court. A State Farm agent can more than assist you with finding the right coverage for your new place. If you have a claim, your local agent can help you file it. Yep, that's right. Over the phone, in person, online, or on the app, they are ready to help you, and they don't drop the ball. You know what I mean? Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Kal Penn]

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[Ray Porter]

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[Kal Penn]

Listen to Hearsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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upfront payment $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See Terms.

[Ashley]

This is Ashleigh and Eddie from the Ben and Ashley I almost same as podcast. You know, it's become a literal nightmare lately. International travel. Why sit on a plane for 14 hours to get to Lake Como when you could be having the time of your life at Caesars Republic in beautiful Lake Tahoe? Caesars Republic, Lake Tahoe has it all. The splendor of Lake Como without all the unmagical moments that come with international travel. It's all there. Amazing dining options with restaurants like Wolf by Vanderpump and Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen. Incredible entertainment. Some of the biggest names in music already lined up for this year's Lake Tahoe summer concerts. Plus relaxing spa experiences, breathtaking views and non stop excitement throughout your entire stay. Spend your days enjoying the pristine lake and natural surroundings. And the nights enjoying the incredible restaurants and world class casino. And don't forget all of this right in your backyard. Caesars Republic Lake Tahoe. Book today.

[Tam Bam]

All right y', all, we're back with the dumb bitch files. Like so these are. Some of these is really good. All right, so listen to this one. Hey, AJ and Tam, I swear I'm not making this up. I've been seeing my therapist for almost two years. She helped me through anxiety, losing my dad, and honestly, she's the first therapist I've ever trusted. About six months ago, I started dating this guy. Things have been going really well. He knows I'm in therapy and he always encouraged me to keep going. A few weeks ago, during one of my sessions, I was telling my therapist about him. I mentioned that he sings on the praise team at his church. Okay. Without thinking, she smiled and said, well, does Marcus still? Then she immediately stopped talking.

[AJ Holiday]

Bitch, quit playing with me.

[Tam Bam]

Like me saying, all right, hold on, this is getting good. She got really quiet and said, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Now my ears done perked up. I asked, wait, you know Marcus? She looked uncomfortable. And she told me she couldn't discuss anyone she might know outside of therapy.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, you already mentioned them. Why did you do that?

[Tam Bam]

Like you said his motherfucking name. Bitch, I ain't never. Name dropped a. All right, hold on. The rest of the session felt weird, I guess. So when I got home, curiosity got the best of me. I searched the church's Facebook page. Guess who I see in the anniversary picture from last year? My therapist. She's standing right beside my boyfriend. Not in the same room, not in the same row. Standing together, smiling. Since then, I can't stop thinking about it. Every time I tell her something about my relationship, I wonder if she's thinking, girl, if you only knew. Every time she tells me to communicate with him better, I wonder if she's secretly judging me because she knows him in real life. Then last Sunday, my boyfriend casually mentioned that a woman from church had asked about me, but he couldn't remember her name. Y', all, what if that was my therapist?

[AJ Holiday]

Who the fuck else would it be?

[Tam Bam]

Just randomly about you? I asked him if they were close. He said, not really. Everybody at church know everybody. Now I'm spiraling. I don't think my therapist did anything unethical on purpose. She hasn't shared any of his business, and she immediately caught herself. But I also don't know how I'm supposed to keep opening up when I know she sees this man in real life. Do I find a new therapist? Do I tell her this is bothering me, or am I making something out of nothing? What y' all think? What do you think?

[AJ Holiday]

No, her. This is. This is equivalent to. Remember when I told y' all how the bitch came on my page and, like, the picture of my nigga on my page, and I asked him, who the fuck was this? Because why Was just random. Some random girl and come to find out, was somebody he used to fudge with. To me, that is equivalent to you just throwing his name out there right quick. Oh, Marcus, right?

[Tam Bam]

You

[AJ Holiday]

see, the thing I don't like about, like, therapy, right? These people go to school for many years, and if you're not a good therapist, you could fuck with people's heads. They have the ability and the skill set to do that. And I really feel like that is the beginning of some type of. She's called. She's. She's intentionally trying to cause that girl mental anguish.

[Tam Bam]

Agree, because. And ain't no way I would have been able to just move on talking like, bitch, you ain't say. Like. You ain't just say Marcus. I would have been like, oh, so tell me what you know about Marcus.

[AJ Holiday]

And you have to know if she's never mentioned to her therapist that her boyfriend or the guy she's dating name is Marcus. That means Marcus probably lied, too. Talk about some random lady at the church. Well, she said she's assuming it was the therapist. She didn't say, why would I.

[Tam Bam]

But I guess, you know what? They boyfriend and girlfriend. So it could be other people at the church who know that y' all are dating, but I would automatically assume it was her, too. But then he said they were standing. She said they were standing right next to each other in the picture, so that wouldn't be random. He probably know exactly who the woman like that is.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, girl, we'd have a whole therapy session, and I ain't bitch. I'd do a chargeback. We would have a whole therapy session, talk about Marcus and how the fuck you know him. And I would definitely do a chargeback on my debit card after that session.

[Ashley]

Would you.

[Tam Bam]

Would you keep her as a therapist? Because she said that?

[AJ Holiday]

No. She definitely playing games. Absolutely not. Fired.

[Tam Bam]

She helped her through. Like, she's the only therapist she's ever trusted. You know, it's hard to get a therapist. That's trust.

[AJ Holiday]

She can't trust this therapist. First of all, this therapist is too far in her life. If you're mentioning somebody. I never told you this man's name, okay? What? To me, it's like stalking. That's what I'm feeling like. Mitch, are you. Were you asking Marcus about me? How do you know I'm talking about Marcus? How do you know I date a Marcus?

[Tam Bam]

Exactly. Yeah. Nobody can say something about her. Had to, right? Because how would she know that that's him? It's a lot of niggas that sing on the praise team at churches. At different churches, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Damn. Marcus. Marcus is a. Who'd be on the praise team.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, sure. With a big booty.

[AJ Holiday]

Big booty Marcus. Hungry Marcus.

[Tam Bam]

We don't know if your man. We. Sorry. We ain't joking on your man.

[AJ Holiday]

But the part about the communication. Now, so what if Marcus found out that she was a therapist, befriended her to then manipulate the girlfriend, befriended the. The therapist to manipulate the girlfriend. Like telling them personal things. Like, I'm in. I'm in therapy, talking about my relationship and talking about all typ. Other things. Right. But you have knowledge about my relationship. May it be true or false. Right. That I'm not privy to. So now you're telling me you need to communicate more with Marcus and. Like that, or you need to do this with, you know, not Marcus, but.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but the man, like, because of what he may be saying to you outside of my therapy session. Yeah. That's a slippery slope, girl. I Don't know. Maybe it's time to find a new therapist. After that, that's just a new one. Of the two, which one you value most?

[AJ Holiday]

That's just suspect. But I would not be able to leave either one of them alone until I get to the bottom of the bullshit. Yeah, I need to know, bitch. I need to know.

[Tam Bam]

But I don't think you should leave Marcus either. Because he sound like a nice guy. He on the praise team at church.

[AJ Holiday]

Not if he using your damn therapist to manipulate you like. Cause how they had to have had a conversation.

[Tam Bam]

They had to. Are they now?

[AJ Holiday]

See, don't need more information.

[Tam Bam]

I need. I need you to tell us more because I don't think your therapist. You go have that girl going there crying and hollering.

[AJ Holiday]

She should have did it that day when. When she said Marcus, you get a question?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I would have. We wouldn't have been able to move on.

[AJ Holiday]

No.

[Tam Bam]

0%.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, so here's one I found. Yeah. Oh, sorry. For the final advice. Yes. Yeah. Leave Marcus, fire that. Well, not leave Marcus, fire that therapist. But not until you get to the bottom right of the.

[Tam Bam]

Because maybe there's something like, you know, honest about it.

[AJ Holiday]

A coincidence? No.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, perhaps. Well, you'll find. And when you find out, come back and tell us.

[Commercial Announcer]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, hold on, hold on, hold on. All right. Hey, Tam, Bam and aj. Y' all can call me the dumb. Because I really thought I was smarter than everybody involved. I work for a large company, and about eight months ago, I started messing with one of my co workers. Boy, this already too close for comfort, y'.

[Ray Porter]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

At first it was just flirting in the break room, then lunches. And then eventually we started dating. We agreed from day one that nobody at work would know because neither one of us wanted the drama. Okay, could know. Okay. Well. Well, somehow this man kept getting promoted. First he became team lead. Then about two months ago, he got promoted to department manager. Once that happened, he technically became my boss's boss. I asked him if we should tell HR because it was starting to feel risky. He kept saying, relax, we grown. As long as we keep it professional, ain't nobody gonna know. Fast forward. Last Friday, around 3:00', clock, I get an email from HR asking me to come upstairs because I leave before I leave for the day. My stomach immediately, immediately dropped. Oh, I know what I'm feeling. Shy. I walked.

[Tony Ayo]

Not.

[AJ Holiday]

Not.

[Tam Bam]

They.

[AJ Holiday]

Look, not saying I was the co worker, but if I just didn't get call the hr, I was living with one of my supervisors. Once for a few months, until my apartment was ready in Columbia. Anyway, I walk in and there's two HR ladies and one director. And the director sitting. They're looking real serious. One of them asked, can you tell us about your relationship with Michael now, y', all, I panicked. I said, we don't have a relationship. We just work together. She looked at me dead in my face and said, you sure? And my dumb ass doubled down. I mean, we've hung out in groups before, but that's it, is what she told him. She nodded, opened a folder, and slid about 20 printed pages across the table. Tam. Tam. It was our text messages, not just regular messages. Good morning, baby vacation pictures, him talking about coming over after work. Me telling him to stop leaving his hoodie at my apartment. Even one text where I said, don't be looking at me in a meeting before somebody figures us out. I wanted. Girl, I wanted to floor. I wanted the floor to open and swallow me. You ever been swallowed up right? She said, apparently when we got promoted, they audited his company phone because there were complaints about favoritism. He had been texting me from his work phone this whole time, even though I repeatedly told him not to. Here's the part says. Here's the part that's really fucked up in messing with me. After they questioned me, they brought him in. He admitted we were in a relationship. I denied it. So now HR thinks he's the honest one and I'm the liar.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, it's true, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, it's true. I wasn't fired, but I'm under investigation because they said I was dishonest during an internal inquiry. Michael keeps apologizing, saying he never thought they'd pull the phone records. Now he's asking me to tell HR a lie because I panicked and I was scared. The problem is, I don't even know if I can trust him anymore because he put us in this position to begin with. So tell me, what should I do now?

[Tam Bam]

What? You can't blame him, bitch. You joined. You did. You were willing participant in this relationship.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man, you just. You just gotta update your resume, sweet pea. I'm telling you. I'm gonna tell you right now, girl, you and it's tough out here because people be getting laid off left and right. But God might just bless you. This might be divine redirection, and you can suck Michael's dick in peace. Y' all ain't worry about getting caught. And he makes more on that job

[Tam Bam]

than to say they're not letting him go. They Gonna let you go if he.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly right. So he's in a better position there. He's your boss. Boss. Okay. So we know he makes more than you. You need to go find your new job if you want to be with Michael. Because if you're under, you know, some type of preliminary investigation, right now, they probably just trying to find your replacement and just gonna work your ass to death. Sorry.

[Tam Bam]

The date on this message. You might already be fired.

[AJ Holiday]

From a new job or. She listening. Unemployed. We ain't.

[Tam Bam]

Man.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm sorry.

[Commercial Announcer]

Sorry.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm sorry.

[Tam Bam]

Hope it's a new job that you love. If you come.

[AJ Holiday]

You can come check our email for us. We got a little small. Little budget, real small.

[Tam Bam]

You need somebody. So if you want to come work for, we talk back. We got you. And it ain't nobody over here for you to. So you ain't got nothing to worry about.

[AJ Holiday]

Damn, man.

[Tam Bam]

Thank you for sharing that with us. No, this happens all the time. Workplace romances. Happy.

[AJ Holiday]

You spent a lot of time there.

[Tam Bam]

And if she's a value, you know, employee, they might not let her go. Especially if everybody don't know about it.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I'm gonna tell y', all, if y' all ever worked in a corporate setting, everybody be. If you are working in an office, you are at work, you know, eight to 12 hours a day. A lot of times people be having those work conventions and conferences and like that. They already know who they in that corporate pay for hotel. They rent in the car together, and they cheating on it. Listen, it goes down in corporate offices, and a lot of them own coke, so they just wooing it up, having a good old time. Like, girl, when I used to work at a certain bank, I used to work in the customer service department. Like, and it was two got caught in the office each other. Yes. Two women, two white ladies. And they. These ain't. One was a butch, and the other one, I didn't even know she would. I think I told you about this. This before how the lady used to be putting her titties in my back.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, you coming over, doing some coaching, and you got your titties on people's back.

[Tam Bam]

Like, she was actually harassing us.

[AJ Holiday]

And when I found out she was the damn neighborhood butch from the job, I was like, whole time. Whole time, she was really sexually harassing us.

[Tam Bam]

Yes, she was.

[AJ Holiday]

It wasn't just my back. Her titties would be on you. Like, you be scooting up in your chair, like, God damn back.

[Tam Bam]

Give me.

[AJ Holiday]

Give me 50ft. The whole time I'm getting molested at work. I was not paying enough for that. Put this on the imax.

[Ashley]

The.

[AJ Holiday]

I need to get paid more.

[Tam Bam]

Telling me about that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, they was. They got. They got caught in an empty office for sure.

[Tam Bam]

Did they get like somebody walked in on them or it was on camera like someone caught them. Like there was a.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I don't remember because I wasn't with the company at the time when they got fired. But it was shortly. I got. This is when I worked here when I was in college. So I got fired like for attendance and shit. And the bitch used to put her titties on my back. The day they were coming to fire me, I already knew I was fired. I got into a fucking car accident. And this is. I couldn't be late for work anymore. And they fired me after for not for being late. And I kind of knew because I was already on a pip. So I kind of knew they were coming. And this is how. God, don't play about me.

[Tam Bam]

They were coming in other ways as well.

[AJ Holiday]

God don't play about me. Because anytime somebody try to play at me on like on a real. Like some be happening with their ass,

[Tam Bam]

like I'll be looking at all the. That I gave a shot and they did me real dirty. None of them are having good luck right now. I didn't have to look finger, right?

[AJ Holiday]

So I knew they were coming to fire me, right. So I was like, oh shit, let me just gather my stuff. They was like, no, no, no, we just want to talk right quick. So y' all take me in the hallway to tell me I'm being fired to then walk me back in there in front of everybody to get my stuff when I was trying to get my shit initially.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Shortly thereafter that bitch got fired for fucking in the office, right? Good ugly ass, ugly white with her titties on my back. Right. He was a fine ass blonde bombshell. Get your ass. This is 50 year old women. 50 something at the time. They still gotta white History is different, Chad.

[Tam Bam]

And it's for our listener who sit in her dumb story. Don't nobody else on the job. It's too close to comfort.

[AJ Holiday]

It's too close. So get you a new job. Go get you.

[Tam Bam]

I don't work with nobody. I wanted to on the job. The job I work is always like either women and gay men.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Like because you do hair. So. And you know, the office life is like heavy rotation of new meat. Especially for men. Usually there's a lot of women in the office. So for men, like, it's a great place to be because you just got your picket of litter. But I used to always like, boy, I fuck with you. I know exactly how much money you make. No, I'm not fucking with you. I fuck with the boss. Not you, though.

[Tam Bam]

All right, the next story. Hey, AJ and Tam. I've been sick to my stomach for almost two weeks, and I need somebody outside of my circle to tell me if I'm overreacting. My best friend and I have known each other since college. We've been friends for almost 15 years. About three years ago, we started a business together. It took off way faster than we expected. We split everything 5050 and built this thing from the ground up. I genuinely looked at her like a sister. A couple weeks ago, we hired a new assistant. She's young, sweet and honest and has become cool with both of us. Well, one evening, she called me after work, sounding nervous. She said. She said, I don't know if I should even be telling you this, but if it were in your shoes.

[AJ Holiday]

But if I were.

[Tam Bam]

Hold on. Sorry. She said, I don't know if I should even be telling you this, but if I were in your shoes, I want to know. Apparently, while I was out of town for a conference, my business partner had been talking about me in the office. Not little stuff either. She told the assistant that I'm lazy, that I only show up for fun parts of the business, that she's real reason we've been successful, and that without her, I'd be probably back working a regular nine to five. The assistant said she didn't say anything because she didn't want to get involved, but she felt guilty. After hearing it for almost a week, I honestly didn't believe her. I figured maybe she misunderstood. Then she sent me voice recordings. Turns out our own security cameras record audio. Tam, when I tell y', all, hearing your best friend talk about you and her own voice will change you. She laughed about how I think I'm the face of the company. She said I spend too much time trying to build my personal brand while she's actually running the business. Then she said something that hurt me more than anything. She said, if she ever leaves, she'll realize nobody's coming for her. She'll realize nobody's coming for her. They're coming for what we built.

[Commercial Announcer]

I cried.

[AJ Holiday]

What does that mean?

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. If she ever leaves, she'll realize nobody's coming for her. Not because I think she's right, but because I never Knew that's how she saw me. Here's the crazy part. The very next morning, she came into the office with coffee for both of us, hugged me and asked me about my trip, and told me she missed me. Dang. I sat there acting normal, knowing what I heard. Now, here's why I'm writing y'. All. Nobody knows I have those recordings. She has no idea. A part of me wants to confront her. Part of me wants to quietly buy her out of the business and never speak to her again. And another part keeps me wondering. Has she always felt this way, or was she just venting after a stressful week? Would y' all be able to forgive your best friend after hearing something like this?

[AJ Holiday]

So you got two people in a business, and only the people in the business understand the different aspects of the business and nuance, right? So if. If. If somebody's in an office venting about their perspective and perception of what's been transpiring in an office, the person who's hearing it should consider. And I really feel like, yeah, she was right for telling the other person needs to confront the other person for sure. And it's a conversation.

[Tam Bam]

I think you should definitely talk to your business partner because you said y' all were best friends, and y' all been best friends for 15 years. So you definitely should go to her and find out why she's feeling the way she feels about you and what y' all can do to move forward. Especially because you have y' all making money together and y' all have a relationship.

[AJ Holiday]

But sometimes, just like a. Like a. Like a romantic relationship, people stay together because of obligations a lot. So if they didn't have those obligations, would they still be together? So now you started a business with somebody, you got all the things. And this can actually relate to our business relationship, right? You got all the things together. You can't. It's not that easy to just walk away. So sometimes all you can do is vent and talk shit. That's all you can do. Because what can you do otherwise? Because things get really messy with court shit, okay? Now somebody can buy out. That could be an option. I actually have a homegirl, her and her friend, they didn't even get started with their business. And before they got started, things already started looking crazy. Like, one person felt like they was doing the most while this one was chilling. And it really was. There's. That's like. That's just, again, like a romantic relationship. There's ebbs and flow, right? But if you're in a situation where somebody is doing 100% of something. It shouldn't be 100%. It is not going to ever be 5050 either. Right. So if I'm doing 70 and you doing the 30 right now, it should switch up at some point.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I think, you know, and I think based on. Even with us, you know, it will go back and forth. You know, I feel like there's times where AJ has been taking the brunt of the work, and then times I feel like I was doing more. And then there were times where we felt we would be very angry with each other. I feel like we're in a better place now. I mean, we six years in at this point.

[AJ Holiday]

Long as fuck.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. And so I can get it how shit can get rocky when it comes to friendship and business. And it can be hard trying to navigate both and remaining in both. It really can be very difficult.

[AJ Holiday]

But we had a whole episode about that. Like, remember the guys? What's the guys from the pizza. The pizza shop. Oh, this is a marriage.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And just like people get divorced.

[Tam Bam]

Slimming husky.

[AJ Holiday]

Slim and husky. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Just like people get divorced in real life. Well, not in real life. And in romantic relationships, sometimes some businesses do run their course and there has to be some type of. Some type of separation. So I really feel like she was venting and it could be true to her.

[Tam Bam]

Right. So talk to her. You know, definitely talk to her and see what's up.

[AJ Holiday]

Or buy her out or let her buy you out. That's what I was getting at my homegirl. So her friend, she really didn't. She wasn't trying to, like, sell her portion of the business. They hadn't really even started yet. They had their initial investment, like together in a pot, you know what I'm saying? And her friend had more money than her, so her initial investment was higher. But if we're friends and we're starting a business, that shit shouldn't matter.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

So they both ended up, you know, walking away from it. It's just up in the air now. Ain't nobody doing nothing with nothing at this point. It's just fucked up.

[Tam Bam]

And I hate that, though.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Especially if it's something that you had that was good. But good luck to you with that girlfriend. Cause I mean, business, friendship and money is a slippery slope and it can get ugly or it can be something very beautiful. So you just have to disc how you want to navigate it and move forward.

[AJ Holiday]

From my personal experience with a few different things, starting businesses, doing different things. Do I suggest people don't even do business with family or friends. I don't suggest it. I. I actually suggest. And I don't know how you do a thing by yourself or how you vet. You still need to vet your family, you still need to vet your friends to determine if this person would be a good mate for this business. Because just because you have a good friendship, that does not translate into business. It just doesn't agree. Everybody doesn't have the same work acumen or business acumen. Everybody doesn't have the same work ethic. You know, you just got to know your strengths, that person strength, everybody's strength and weaknesses. You got to work together and you got to be able to communicate and. Excuse me, not even communicate. Comprehend. And I feel like in any relationship, if you are no longer comprehending what that person is saying and they're not comprehending what you're saying, that is really the end of a relationship because y' all not listening to each other no more. So this. I mean, it could be that she has talked to her about something before.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. But she said, I mean, she was surprised to hear it. You know, hear that audio and hear her saying these things. So maybe she hasn't, you know, like. Or maybe you just didn't hear her when she was saying it. Trying to express those things. Well, good luck to you, girlfriend. Write us in and tell us. Cause this old too.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all still got the business.

[Tam Bam]

Let us know.

[Commercial Announcer]

This past weekend, like every other Sunday, you were on the court with the guys, playing ball. Just a quick pickup game, living out your hoop dreams. No triple doubles, but mean set of threes in between buckets. One of the homies mentioned, he calls on a new crib. This is big. And while everyone's asking about housewarming and making plans to celebrate, you're asking the real questions. Like, has he spoken to his State Farm agent yet about coverage? See, homeownership is one thing, but the right coverage is the real game changer. Even more than your last hot streak is how you protect your legacy. Dropping buckets and bars on the court. A State Farm agent can more than assist you with finding the right coverage for your new place. If you have a claim, your local agent can help you file it. Yup, that's right. Over the phone, in person, online, or on the app, they are ready to help you. And they don't drop the ball. You know what I mean? Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Kal Penn]

Hey, everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of earsay the Audible and iheart Audiobook Club this week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive Sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like, okay, yo yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile.

[Kal Penn]

Now.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal, so there goes my base. Big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] switch upfront payment

[Commercial Announcer]

of 45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 months or 180 for 12 month plan required 15 per month equivalent taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy.

[Ashley]

See Terms this is Ashley Kineti from the Ben and Ashley I Almost same as podcast you know. It's become a literal nightmare lately. International travel. Why sit on a plane for 14 hours to get to Lake Como when you could be having the time of your life at Caesars Republic in beautiful Lake Tahoe? Caesars Republic Lake Tahoe has it all. The splendor of Lake Como without all the unmagical moments that come with international travel. It's all there. Amazing dining options with restaurants like Wolf by Vanderpump and Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen. Incredible entertainment. Some of the biggest names in music already lined up for this year's Lake Tahoe summer concerts, plus relaxing spa experiences, breathtaking views and non stop excitement throughout your entire stay. Spend your days enjoying the pristine lake and natural surroundings and the nights enjoying the incredible restaurants and world class Casino. And don't forget all of this right in your backyard. Caesars Republic, Lake Tahoe. Book today.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, let me see what we got. This is the last one, y'. All. Where we at?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, we.

[AJ Holiday]

Round the dot.

[Tam Bam]

Let's go.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all, this is the last one, okay? It says, please keep me anonymous, because if anybody in my life hears this, they're going to know it's me. I need advice because I genuinely don't know what's wrong with me. I'm 32 years old and I've always dated men. I've never questioned my sexuality, never had a crush on a woman, never been kissed, never even kissed one. If somebody would have asked me six months ago if I was gay, I would have laughed. Oh, shit. Three years ago, I met this girl through work, and we instantly became best friends. We're together all the time. We text from. We text from the moment we wake up until we go to sleep. We travel together. People always joke that we're an old married couple. I never thought anything about it because that's my best friend. A few months ago, she started dating this guy. At first, I was happy for her, and then I started noticing how irritated I was every time she talked about him.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, shit.

[AJ Holiday]

When she canceled plans because she was with him, I'd be in a bad mood the rest of the day. If she didn't answer my text but posted that she was out with him, I'd feel sick to my stomach. I kept telling myself I was just being a jealous friend. Then one night, we were on vacation together. We had gone out, had a couple of drinks, and got back to the hotel. Wait, what? Oh, they was on vacation together?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

She fell asleep on my shoulder while we were watching tv, girl. What? Bitch. I never fell asleep with my friend's shoulder unless we've been on the airplane together.

[Tam Bam]

The fuck? I would lay on my friend's shoulder while watching tv.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all gay.

[Tam Bam]

Not in a gay way. Like. Like you want to lay on your sister's shoulder.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, I would. Yeah, I mean, but I haven't in a long time. Not as an adult.

[Tam Bam]

For real.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

All right, this is. I feel like that's where the story is heading.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Y' all gay. Remember a little episode with them girls, your friends, kids. She was like, mamas be gay. All right, so we had gone out, had a few drinks, and got back to the hotel. She fell asleep on my shoulder while we were watching tv. I wanted to kiss her, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Not because I was drunk, but because I was curious, because I wanted to, I sat there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Exactly.

[AJ Holiday]

I sat there for almost an hour trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Since then, it's only getting worse. When she hugs me, my heart races. When she tells me she loves me, I have to remind myself she means. She means as a friend. I catch myself wondering what I'd be like, what it would be like if she looked at me the way she looks at her boyfriend. The crazy part is, I don't even think I'm attracted to women. I'm attracted to her. I've never looked at another woman like this. I've even tried going on double dates with men hoping these feelings will go away. But all I do is compare them to her. She must have got some masculine ass energy because what? She has absolutely no idea. She tells me everything about her relationship, asks me for dating advice, and keeps saying she can't wait for me to find my person because then we'll both be in a relationship together. Every time she says it, I feel like my heart breaks a little. I would never tell her how I feel because she's straight. And I would never want to make her uncomfortable to risk losing her, losing our friendship. But I also don't know how to keep pretending I'm okay when every conversation feels like I'm secretly grieving something I never had. So my question is, do y' all think it's possible to fall in love with one person without changing your entire sexuality? Or have I been lying to myself about who I am the whole time? And if you were me, would you tell your best friend the truth? Or would you take the secret to your grave? Girl, I'm not you. I don't know, bitch. Hard. Girl, this is too much, girl.

[Tam Bam]

What?

[AJ Holiday]

Damn, that's so weird. Like, so I wonder, like, does her friend have like.

[Tam Bam]

Like, it's not weird. She's not weird. She just.

[AJ Holiday]

When I say weird, it's not like real weird. You know what I mean? Like, I don't mean. I'm not calling her like, she's a weirdo. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just like, how does that happen though?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, because the weird part is like, you never being gay and then fall in love with this female friend,

[Tony Ayo]

but

[Tam Bam]

not ever liking any other women, just in love with her. I wonder why. I don't know. I've never had that happen. Because I love my friends, but I ain't never wanna like, smash them. Take em down.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So I wonder how they Start. Like, how does. How does the relationship start? I have met, you know, females, women friends in my adult life. Right. Like my homegirl, Ryan, she was the first person I met when I moved to St. Louis. I literally met this bitch in the club and got her phone number. Like, I don't. I can't even remember how we started talking. I was in there with my homegirl who came to visit me from out of town, and I. I can't even remember how we ended up exchanging numbers. Girl, shut up. And she the Gemini. So that's probably was just an energy thing. Her birthday a few days after mine, and she was the first person. Well, the first female I met in St. Louis. And then I, you know, met other women through her. But yeah, we met in the fucking club. I'm like, yeah, I just moved here.

[Tam Bam]

Da da.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know nobody. Girl, give me your number. Like, I don't have a problem making friends, new friends, but to then, like, meet some. I'm giving this an example. Like, you meet a person organically in that way, and then conversation with this person then turns into you, like, liking them intimately. And it's the same sex that she had. I always feel like people had to have. You have to already be having these feelings. Maybe not for her, but like some type of homoeroticism. Homoerotic, like feelings about the same sex.

[Tam Bam]

She said she. At some point, if you would have asked her six months ago, she would have told you no.

[AJ Holiday]

That's because maybe she wasn't being honest even when she said no. Because maybe that's why I always say people be gay in the mind. They just happen. Yeah. They haven't been in the, like, the situation or the. It just hasn't come up for them to actually act on it. I remember this girl who I was in high school with. Hey, girl. She always be telling my best friend how Ashley always knew I was gay. Because I remember we were sitting at the lunch table and she was looking at me. I'm like, bitch, you a dyke. Like, just fucking with her. But yes, whole time.

[Commercial Announcer]

Whole time.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I could feel her energy when she looked at me. It felt like how a man looks at me. I could feel her. I could feel that masculine energy off of her. So that's why I'm like, maybe her friend has some masculine energy, but some people, I guess some gay women are attracted to femininity, right? So. But maybe she's the one. Maybe she's the more masculine one and her friend is like the super feminine woman. And that's what she's attracted to, maybe.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, no. I need to see these.

[AJ Holiday]

Me too. Right? We need illustration. Hey, girl, at such and such, can you please send us some illustration?

[Tam Bam]

We. We need to see how y' all

[AJ Holiday]

look because best friend probably a baddie or so.

[Tam Bam]

Would you tell her or would you take it to the grave? I would never tell her. I would never tell.

[AJ Holiday]

Sound like she might have to stop being that girlfriend, man. Cause you're not being honest with yourself or her, and it's breaking your heart.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Yeah. You killing yourself.

[AJ Holiday]

Is that not how Fatal Attraction shit starts?

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. But I had some homegirls where I felt like their best friend was gay for them because once they got gay for them. Yeah. Like, they start being mad and mean to them and stuff like that. I've seen that happen to at least two women that I know. Like, they would be with their female friend all the time, and when they got a man and they started sharing their time with their man, the fee, the other female friend would be acting, like, all crazy, like, trying to start fights with the nigga and stuff like that.

[AJ Holiday]

Y', all, this has happened to me in real life, now that I think about it. I had a friend. I had a friend, and we are still, like, we like family because we grew up together from real young. But some super weird shit transpired in our, like, early 20s that she never gave me a good enough explanation for. Now I got a boyfriend. My boyfriend knows her, too that time, right? We all know each other. And again, this is a friend from elementary. Damn near. I'm listening. Somebody. I never check my voicemails. It'd be months before I check my voicemails. I check my voicemail, and I'm like, I'm listening. Is somebody on my voicemail? Is that somebody physically or getting a pussy aid on my voicemail is what I was hearing. So I kept playing. It kept playing. It kept playing. Like, is that so and so. So I lit my boyfriend hear it because he knows this person very well. They are actually family. I'll just go ahead and throw that in there.

[Commercial Announcer]

So I said, listen to this.

[AJ Holiday]

Does that sound like so and so? He was like, yeah, that's that. That's her ass. That's her.

[Tam Bam]

So you. It sound like his cousin. I wouldn't want to hear my cousin.

[Ray Porter]

Ew.

[AJ Holiday]

I needed somebody to see. Like, I needed somebody to confirm that I'm not crazy. And on the thing, she like, here, here, talk to her. Ain't you say you want to talk to her talk to her. This is what she's saying. So when I called to confront her about it, because I ain't no texting bitch, now I'm gonna call you. So when I called, ask her about it, you know what her explanation was? This is now 20 years ago at this point, 15 years ago, she said, you wouldn't understand. I'm like, what would I not understand? Like, can you explain to me why you fucking on my voicemail, ma'? Am? She told me I would never understand, and I still don't. She told me I would never understand. And she never explained to me. She never denied that being her.

[Tam Bam]

Her telling me, was she fucking one of your niggas on there or was she.

[AJ Holiday]

I have no.

[Tam Bam]

I thought.

[AJ Holiday]

I think she was fucking her nigga on there. Because the weird thing is I had just seen them like at the grocery store, like together. I don't know if they was like married at the time. These people are still together too. I don't know they was married at the time or not, but I remember seeing them like a few weeks prior. So in my mind I'm thinking maybe her might have said some little slick shit, you know what I'm saying? Like, you got some men who be trying to play with their women self esteem and she'd been a bad bitch since we was kids, okay? I don't feel like the she married to deserves her. Okay, so maybe he was fucking with her. Like, you see me, right? You with your girl, my friend, you see me out. Maybe he said something to her and that's why she's saying, here, ain't you say you want to talk to her, talk to her, talk to her. Why he eating that pussy on my voicemail? That happened in real life.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[Commercial Announcer]

That happened.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know if she wanted me. I don't know, because there's another layer to this that I don't want to even get into. Because I mean, no, I just can't, you know? But yeah, so I don't know. I don't know if she was. I don't know what the that was about. And like, she said, I will never understand. And I still don't, Mitch, because I

[Tam Bam]

would have been like, help me understand.

[AJ Holiday]

I said that. I said that.

[Tam Bam]

I said.

[AJ Holiday]

I said, all right. I said, okay. And we just got off the phone, but I definitely said, well, help me understand. Like, what the. That's you though, right? She just said, you won't understand. And I had this little piece. I have heard about her fucking with girls before, but she has never said that to me.

[Tam Bam]

Left that layer out.

[AJ Holiday]

This is year. This is still now, years after this point, right? So then when I heard that it wasn't even years after, it might have been like a year or two after that. Then made me think about the voicemail.

[Tam Bam]

She was probably drunk too when she did it. And then she was shamed when you

[AJ Holiday]

call her, girl, I don't know what the fuck, but get off my voicemail, bitch, with this shit. And I don't want your. Nigga, I can't hear you. Be muted.

[Tam Bam]

Damn. You didn't hear me say nothing?

[AJ Holiday]

Not just now. You said what now?

[Tam Bam]

We offer this lady no advice, though,

[AJ Holiday]

girl, my bad. Look, I forgot to. Goddamn. What the. Oh, no. Yeah, you gotta. Girl, you gotta get out of there. Because if it's br. I did. I did kind of right. If it's breaking your heart to still have to deal with this person in any capacity, in a friendship capacity, and you know you're actually in love with her and you want to see if something is actually there, you need to be honest with yourself and possibly with her or maybe at least be honest with yourself so you can get out the friendship or maybe change your mind about the friendship, because this just doesn't sound good.

[Tam Bam]

But I don't think, like, she. Because how would you dissolve the friendship without, you know, outing yourself?

[AJ Holiday]

You just start being a. And acting like that person did something to you. That's what people usually do. Instead of actually discussing actual problem. They just create some out of thin air. I don't know how else she would be able to. Or she can just, I don't know, just slowly start not communicating. I don't know how people. I just always think that type of energy is weird. Anyway, I'm trying to think, what would

[Tam Bam]

I do if I fell in love with one of my homegirls? No shade to y'. All. I love y'. All. Y' all beautiful people, but I just. I know where that pussy been at.

[AJ Holiday]

I know where the body's at.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. All the body. Yikes. Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

That's how you do your friends.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but, you know, you just. Not that they have, like, bad guys, but you just know, right? You don't need to know all the sexual partners of the next person trying to have sex with, you know, like.

[AJ Holiday]

So I guess it is kind of different because you're putting your.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, there's a lot going on, and I don't need to. I already know where that thing being, you know, so it's just kind of weird.

[AJ Holiday]

But so you can have high mileage. I just can't know who've been driving.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I just don't know his owners. Yeah. Oh, no. That's so difficult one for me because I don't. Because I love. I don't want to lose my best friend. Right? I don't want to lose my best friend because we have a beautiful relationship. But I also don't want to keep breaking my heart every day knowing that I'm romantically in love with my friend.

[AJ Holiday]

That's not your friend.

[Tam Bam]

You.

[AJ Holiday]

That's not at this point. That's your lover. In your mind. You're not. That's not your friend. Because how do you fall in love with your friend that was never your friend?

[Tam Bam]

But shouldn't everybody. You fall in love be your friend first?

[AJ Holiday]

We like to say that. Right? But don't you feel so betrayed by these niggas when they don't. When they do you terrible. They do shit that your friend would never do.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Like they really a boyfriend. That's it. They like a. A significant other. They're not really a friend per se.

[Tam Bam]

Right. But I do think that you should explore your sexuality more and get to know who you are. Because you saying like, you not gay, but yes, you are really.

[AJ Holiday]

You gain the mind, you know? Gay. Yet she just like her friend right now.

[Tam Bam]

But I mean, maybe you need to explore that. But not with your friend. Maybe you need to just explore who you are right now and kind of take your friend out of the equation. Because you said she got a man, so why you even try to fuck that up, right? She got a new boo, so she's not. I think if she was romantically into you, she wouldn't have got that nigga. Y' all done been on all these vacations. Girls be eating each other coochies on vacations all the time.

[AJ Holiday]

Put that rumor out there. Because the niggas already think that's what be happening on all girls trips. And really they just be getting on the canoe in Jamaica by some random nigga with a trash bag.

[Tam Bam]

Huh?

[AJ Holiday]

I say really? The bitches be getting on them canoes by random with grocery bags on their dick. Did you see that video?

[Tam Bam]

That only happened one time in the video. Don't put that story out there either.

[AJ Holiday]

IBC is not having a trash bag sex. And they wear glasses too. They usually school teachers go to the grill and while out in jamaica.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but PhD recipients a grocery bag on your. On your dick and somebody is next level. I ain't never wanted no dick that bad.

[AJ Holiday]

Had a nigga. My pussy was Saran Wrap one time when I was in my 20s.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that's a dental damn, basically.

[AJ Holiday]

But I'm like, I'm good. Okay, if you got. Listen, I like raw mouth. I'm sorry.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, me too. Get that. Get that plastic out the way.

[AJ Holiday]

Now I gotta be like a who trying to slide raw dick in. I gotta try to sign raw in his face.

[Commercial Announcer]

Like

[AJ Holiday]

gotta coerce the into eating this.

[Tam Bam]

I like.

[AJ Holiday]

Just leave me the alone because you play entirely too much. I don't even want the head no more. Keep that bag head. What they say the plastic produce because this be hot. So when the heat up now you got all these environmental non degradable plastic going. Head for me.

[Tam Bam]

Please, please.

[AJ Holiday]

Rahead me.

[Tam Bam]

My goodness. I don't know how we got here, but here we are.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, get out of there, girl. Yeah, get out of there.

[Tam Bam]

All right, I think that's it for our dumbest story, the Dumb Files. You broke your fingernail.

[AJ Holiday]

No. All right, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. All right.

[AJ Holiday]

Move, Dasha.

[Commercial Announcer]

All right, y'.

[Kal Penn]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

If you enjoyed this episode. If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or where the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Keep them dumb stories coming, please. And they don't gotta be that long. Be trying to take. We appreciate it, though.

[Tam Bam]

You know what?

[AJ Holiday]

We help me learn to read.

[Tam Bam]

We just need to get the audio. Find a way to get audio. Or just have people call in during filming. Because I know y' all be tired of typing all that. And that's probably why, you know, we probably would have more if people could just talk.

[AJ Holiday]

But the audio only give him like 30.

[Commercial Announcer]

30 what?

[AJ Holiday]

Three minutes?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I'll still be talking too long

[AJ Holiday]

and all like, girl, they talking to us like we on the phone with them.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but I love it.

[AJ Holiday]

Got a call back a couple times. Yeah, we gonna figure it out. Kick it, Tam.

[Tam Bam]

All right, y'. All. I love y' all so much. Thank y' all for tuning in another Thursday with us. Remember, speak now

[AJ Holiday]

and never hold your dumb bitchism period.

[Tam Bam]

Because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once or twice.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man. Deuces We Talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Tony Ayo]

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Big transfer news today. Who's moving me to the couch with Domino's?

[AJ Holiday]

Best deal ever since they just added stuffed crust.

[Kal Penn]

Any pizza? Any toppings? Now with stuffed crust for 9.99.

[Commercial Announcer]

It's a long term contract with no release clause.

[Kal Penn]

Only 9.99? Yeah, that sounds like the move. I'm heading straight to Dom.

[AJ Holiday]

Price is higher for some locations, excludes excellent specialty pizzas.

[Commercial Announcer]

Select this offer from 6:15 through 7:27 online only.

[AJ Holiday]

Size availability varies by crust type max 7 topping 6 for pan and New York style crust. Minimum purchase required for delivery.

[Commercial Announcer]

Prices, participation, delivery area and charges may vary.

[AJ Holiday]

Here's something good on Women's health and longevity is brought to you by Seneca and our partner LifeMD. LifeMD believes every woman should have access to affordable prescription medication and personalized care that understands the whole woman. Through virtual care and insurance supported options, LifeMD is making expert women's healthcare more accessible and affordable. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.