Girl Breathe

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Talk Back – Episode: "Girl Breathe"

Release Date: March 27, 2025
Hosts: TamBam and AJ Holiday
Produced by: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

---

Introduction

In the episode titled "Girl Breathe," hosts TamBam and AJ Holiday delve into a rich tapestry of topics ranging from personal anecdotes about their weekends to deep analytical discussions about relationships and societal expectations. Their unapologetic and humorous approach provides listeners with both entertainment and insightful takeaways.

---

Weekend Recap and Personal Updates

The episode kicks off with TamBam and AJ sharing snippets of their weekends, setting a relatable and conversational tone.

• TamBam recounts attending the inaugural Black College Invitational Championship in Charlotte, emphasizing the importance of supporting HBCUs:
  "[06:16] TamBam: ...we gotta support this black basketball tournament in Charlotte, North Carolina. And it was lit."

• AJ Holiday shares her visit to a new lounge, Taranga, highlighting social outings despite her typically homebound routines:
  "[07:26] AJ: ...there was a new lounge in Charlotte called Taranga that opened up over the weekend too. And I popped out there and it was nice."

---

Discussion on Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) Complications

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to addressing concerns about BBL surgeries, particularly the unusual issue of post-surgery odors.

• TamBam brings up a listener's concern about the "BBL smell," likening it to "a pot of broccoli that got the lid on it and been sitting on the stove for two days":
  "[11:23] TamBam: ...the BBL smells like a pot of broccoli that got the lid on it and been sitting on the stove for two days."

• AJ Holiday delves into possible medical explanations, discussing fat transfers and potential infections:
  "[12:00] AJ: ...maybe the fat that was transferred to it is like, rotten. ...she had a hole back there because her body was actually rejecting her own fat in that area."

The hosts emphasize the importance of maintaining hygiene post-surgery and consulting medical professionals if unusual symptoms arise.

---

Bizarre Lawsuit: Apple Sued for Turning a Man Gay

TamBam and AJ tackle one of the episode's most peculiar topics—the lawsuit filed by a Russian man claiming that Apple's crypto app altered his sexual orientation.

• AJ Holiday expresses skepticism and humorously dismisses the lawsuit as absurd:
  "[16:09] AJ: ...a Russian man sued Apple for turning him gay. ...I just don't think sexual acts count because you have to literally go do it."

• TamBam reinforces the idea that personal choices cannot be attributed to a company's actions:
  "[18:14] TamBam: ...don't put it on Apple. Apple ain't got nothing to do with it."

The hosts conclude that such lawsuits are unfounded and likely to fail in court, highlighting the importance of personal accountability.

---

Young Miami's Appearance on Club Shay Shay

The conversation shifts to Young Miami's appearance on Club Shay Shay, where she discusses her approach to cheating in relationships.

• TamBam notes the specificity of Young Miami’s stance:
  "[20:04] TamBam: ...she explained that she'll give her significant other four times the cheat before she calls it a rap."

• AJ Holiday relates to the sentiment, emphasizing personal boundaries and the importance of trust:
  "[22:49] AJ: ...you should probably go to a doctor because it got to be something that you can do to help, you know, like combat the broccoli chow."

---

In-Depth Analysis: 'Waiting to Exhale'

A substantial segment of the episode is devoted to dissecting the classic film "Waiting to Exhale," exploring its characters and their relevance to contemporary relationships.

Character Archetypes

• Savannah (Whitney Houston): Represents the successful career woman seeking love.
  "Savannah is trying to maintain her self-respect and recognize when a relationship isn't serving her right."
  [40:27]

• Bernardine (Angela Bassett): The nurturing, yet self-sacrificing partner who loses herself in her husband's dreams.
  "[45:25] TamBam: She made him her whole life. We should all take a lesson from that."

• Gloria (Loretta Devine): The motherly figure who imposes her own unresolved issues onto her son, expecting him to be the man of the house.
  "[32:52] AJ Holiday: ...she put her whole life to the side for his dreams."

• Robin (Lila Lachesnaya Rashawn): Embodies the promiscuous woman struggling with her self-worth, often engaging in casual relationships for emotional validation.
  "[50:51] TamBam: She just wanted to be loved. And she was a bit naive too."

Relating to Personal Experiences

The hosts draw parallels between the characters and their own lives, discussing themes like self-sacrifice, emotional availability, and the quest for genuine companionship.

• TamBam reflects on the dangers of losing oneself in a relationship:
  "[47:16] TamBam: ...it has to be a healthy balance where I'm not lost in the sauce, you know."

• AJ Holiday emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing toxic patterns:
  "[48:46] AJ Holiday: ...I can be the friend that keeps tally of the niggas you've had sex with."

Modern-Day Implications

The discussion highlights how the film's themes remain relevant, especially with the advent of social media amplifying relationship dynamics.

• AJ Holiday imagines how characters like Bernardine would navigate today's digital landscape:
  "[40:34] TamBam: And somebody would have taken a video of her all up on Herbert in the club."

---

The Power of Female Friendships

TamBam and AJ underscore the significance of supportive female friendships, contrasting their camaraderie with the backbiting often seen in real life.

• AJ Holiday shares a personal anecdote about supporting a friend breaking up with a toxic relationship:
  "[65:56] TamBam: ...She had left her dude first, right? So we were bonding over these narcs, essentially."

• TamBam advises maintaining honesty and avoiding unnecessary judgment among friends:
  "[66:39] TamBam: ...they weren't harshly judging each other. Didn't see none of that."

The hosts encourage listeners to cultivate genuine and supportive friendships, free from envy and backstabbing.

---

Listener Assignments: Reflect and Journal

To foster personal growth among their audience, TamBam and AJ introduce a journaling exercise:

• TamBam instructs listeners to identify toxic relationship patterns and envision their own "Waiting to Exhale" moments:
  "[82:42] TamBam: ...write down what's one toxic relationship pattern you're ready to exhale from."

• AJ Holiday emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and accountability:
  "[83:26] AJ Holiday: ...I be consciously aware of the things I can. I can tell you what I did and, like, here's. I actually like to tell people what I did wrong first."

This exercise aims to empower listeners to recognize and release unhealthy relationship dynamics from their lives.

---

Closing Remarks and Future Topics

As the episode wraps up, TamBam and AJ reflect on the discussions and hint at upcoming topics.

• TamBam expresses appreciation for discussing "Waiting to Exhale" without judgment:
  "[62:48] TamBam: ...I can appreciate from this movie because they had some up scenarios going on, but it wasn't no judgment amongst them."

• AJ Holiday announces next week's focus on the thin line between love and hate, requesting listener participation:
  "[83:45] TamBam: ...next week, I want to do. I really want to get into a thin line between love and hate."

Listeners are encouraged to tune in for continued explorations of relationships, personal growth, and female empowerment.

---

Notable Quotes

• TamBam on Self-Sacrifice in Relationships:
  "[45:54] Comedic Character: I ain't had no bbl. My don't never smell like broccoli now."

• AJ Holiday on Maintaining Boundaries:
  "[43:07] TamBam: ...I'll be a mad about something and be like, I'm done with this motherfucker."

• TamBam on the Importance of Trust in Relationships:
  "[59:30] Comedic Character: ...don't forget, the only one that was, like, stable and, like, could have taken her serious."

---

Conclusion

In "Girl Breathe," TamBam and AJ Holiday offer a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful analysis that resonates deeply with their audience. By dissecting classic films, addressing contemporary issues, and fostering a supportive community, the hosts empower listeners to navigate the complexities of relationships and embrace their femininity with confidence and grace.

---

Follow Us:
Stay connected with TamBam and AJ Holiday on Instagram and join the conversation using #WeTalkBackPodcast. Share your journaling insights and engage with a community of women striving for personal and collective growth.

Subscribe:
Tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or your preferred podcast platform to catch new episodes filled with laughter, wisdom, and unfiltered conversations.

Transcript

[Nissan Advertiser]

Meetings, deadlines, emails, millions of notifications. Don't you wish you could escape the chaos? Fortunately, that's where the all new Nissan Murano comes in. With available features like the relaxing, massaging seats to ease stress and the beautiful skyline views that bring in natural light. It's like cruising in your own personal Oasis. And if you need to set a vibe, 64 colors of personalized lighting and a Bose Premium sound system have you covered. Hands down, the all new Nissan Murano is your stress free getaway. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.

[Comedic Character]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient light, knitting bows and massaging leather appointed seats are optional features hey there Ritual.

[Ritual Advertiser]

Here to give a big shout out to you for making it through the hectic holiday season. The magic of those family moments that was you. And now there's new milestones to prep for in 2025 this new year. Check Clean Quality Pregnancy Nutrient Support off your to do list With Ritual, we've done the research to create science backed pregnancy support like our prenatal multivitamin, natalcholine and fertility support. All designed to be taken alongside each other. But don't just take our word for it. They're also third party tested for microbes and heavy metals and clean label projects certified. So whether you're trying, thinking about trying, or already there, we don't have to tell you that prioritizing yourself can be the hardest part. That's why we're helping you get started today with 30% off a three month supply for a limited [e-mail] podcast these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Geico's motorcycle expertise gives me the coverage I need.

[Tam Bam]

Like 24. Seven claims, I'm on cloud nine.

[Comedic Character]

Clouds are wholly unable to support the weight of an adult human.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

What's happening?

[Comedic Character]

Furthermore, clouds are not numbered. Even if you procured a jetpack and searched, you'd find no cloud numbered nine. However, at that altitude, you'd likely befriend a flock of migrating snow geese. Geese who'd encourage you to leave your.

[Dutch Advertiser]

24.7Geico motorcycle claims insurance behind as they.

[Comedic Character]

Would take you in and even share their dinner of crickets and clowns. Geico assumes no liability for any indigestion that may occur from a clover cricket dinner. GEICO Expertise for your Motorcycle this is.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[Comedic Character]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Peace to the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne Tha God. And guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right. We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April 26, at Pullman Yards. And it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, Mandy B. And Weezy. Okay, we got the R and B Money podcast with Tank and J. Valentine. We got the Woman Evolved podcast with Sarah, Jake Roberts. We got Good Moms, Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with her Neck in Sports podcast. And the Trap Nerds podcast with more to be announced. And of course, it's bigger than podcast. We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. All right, listen, you don't want to miss this, Tap in and grab your tickets [e-mail] podcast festival, hoping that we.

[Comedic Character]

Talk back, where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee cocktail and crown. Cause it's about to go down.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back. What's up, y'all?

[Comedic Character]

It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'all. I love y'all so much. Hey, aj, how you doing?

[Comedic Character]

I'm well. Girl, stop lying to these people.

[Tam Bam]

Love them. I love them so much. They love me, too. They be in my DMS until you.

[Comedic Character]

Do some they don't like. They're gonna be dragging you. They're just trying to come for you for look for sucking toes.

[Tam Bam]

I don't suck no toes. That's a lie.

[Comedic Character]

I don't mention that until April.

[Tam Bam]

After April, girl, my mama gonna come up to me. Somebody. It's the toes for me. Yikes. And it walked off. I was like, oh, wow. Everybody got something to say?

[Comedic Character]

Not yet.

[Tam Bam]

That man foot in my mouth. Y'all put me on a lie detector test. I never put him under his foot. In my mouth.

[Comedic Character]

Shame.

[Tam Bam]

Anyway, how was your weekend?

[Comedic Character]

My weekend was great. Did I do something this weekend? Oh, I did go outside. Not outside for real. I just did like a little. On Saturday, I went by one of my homegirl house, who I recently reconnected with and just talk some for a couple hours over some crab bags.

[Tam Bam]

Sound like a good time to me.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. Shout out to Courtney, girl, she be eating Roger Wood sausage. When the last time you had a Roger Wood sausage?

[Tam Bam]

Why eat Roger woods all the time?

[Comedic Character]

Are you serious? Oh, my God. First of all, I don't use sausage. And don't put that in my bag. In my crab bag.

[Tam Bam]

I don't want that in my crab bag either because it overpowers all the other food in there. But have a Roger Wood fried up good on a slice of bread with some mustard. Period.

[Comedic Character]

Shame. Now, back in the day when we was kids, like, if you ain't having a Roger Wood sausage in your house, you really ain't have no food.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[Comedic Character]

Like, as long as we had a box of Roger Wood sausage, like, we was lit.

[Tam Bam]

You could eat and eggs and ramen, you straight.

[Comedic Character]

I probably had a Roger Wood sausage since middle school.

[Tam Bam]

Damn. I had one a couple days ago. So this weekend, it was the Black College Invitational Championship in Charlotte is a new tournament. My friend. Rusty, put it on, y'all. We got to support this tournament. Like, this is the first year. He wants all our support, all the HBCUs. He wants us involved, y'all. So everyone, we gotta support this black basketball tournament in Charlotte, North Carolina. And it was. I saw a lot of parties surrounded just like, ciaa.

[Comedic Character]

It's supposed to be coming back, right? Ciaa.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. But this one, this black one brought on by blacks, presented by Black people for HBCUs, y'all get involved.

[Comedic Character]

It's lit.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[Comedic Character]

Did you attend any of the festivity festivities?

[Tam Bam]

I. I actually didn't get to go out to the tournament. I did go to. There's a new lounge in Charlotte called Taranga that opened up over the weekend too. And I popped out there and it was nice.

[Comedic Character]

Taranga, Topanga, Taranga, whatever.

[Tam Bam]

Like that. I think it's called Taranga, though. And it was cute in there. So that opened over the weekend. I. They're soft open, but nothing was soft about it. It was fully open. So I went there and that was it. You know, I don't get out too much these days. I'll be in the house.

[Comedic Character]

Well, that sounds fun.

[Tam Bam]

It was fun. It was a good time. Me, Jamaica and Raquel went Jamaica, Jamaica.

[Comedic Character]

I ain't see Jamaican so damn long.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it was a good time. Shout out to Jamaica and Raquel. Let's get in this, y'all.

[Nissan Advertiser]

The first two years of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your real cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let the sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with the 64 colored personalized light option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill or in a straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.

[Comedic Character]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional.

[Ritual Advertiser]

Features Big shout out to you for making it through the hectic holiday season this new year. Get clean quality pregnancy nutrient support off your to do list, including Ritual's best selling Essential Prenatal multivitamin designed with 12 traceable key ingredients to support a healthy pregnancy. With big changes coming up, take the small steps now and start today with 30% off a three month [e-mail] podcast. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Comedic Character]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like?

[Comedic Character]

Joe, you like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often. There's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[Comedic Character]

Not like. No. Have we?

[Tam Bam]

No.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No, not yet. Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls gays and they's to join me on this extremely special pink confection of A podcast. There is so much darkness in this world. And what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Comedic Character]

What you got? What you seeing?

[Tam Bam]

You know what I keep seeing posts about a BBL smell. So this one woman got on there and said the bbls is stinking and ain't nobody talking about it, that it smelled like. She said it smelled like a pot of broccoli that got the lid on it and been sitting on the stove for two days. God damn. Now, listen, if you got a bbl, y'all tell us, do your shit smell like broccoli every now and then when you sweat or something? And what causes that? So I looked up the BBL smell and apparently there's some truth to it.

[Comedic Character]

I've been hearing that for years, that the bbls be leaking, that they be smelling. And I don't know if it has anything to do with that. Maybe. I don't know if the. The fat that was transferred to it is like, rotten. I don't know. I had one of my little cousins, I got a BBL one time and her went wrong. Tell me a. Who ever got a BBL in Charleston, South Carolina? I don't know, but she did. Okay. And they. I remember going with her to an appointment and they had to put gauze in that thing. Like she had a hole back there because her body was actually rejecting her own fat in that area.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[Comedic Character]

So she got an infection. So I don't know if maybe because, you know, these girls, they be having to get that cut out now. Well, wait, wait, wait. Let me back up. Yeah, so that was a fat transfer. That's different. The bbls a lot of the women have are like the saline yeah, it's like the foreign matter that they're putting into the body. It's not their own fat.

[Tam Bam]

You saw my nipple just now?

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, I did see your titty. You. This girl's such a hoe. Like, yeah, I saw the nipple, but why you gotta put it in the audio? She just want everybody to know her titties was out.

[Tam Bam]

Y'all.

[Comedic Character]

Crazy ass. But look, I did Google BBL smell and it just said this is from South Shore Plastic Surgery. It says identifying the BBL smell. The BBL smell is often described as musty or slightly sour. So that there goes that broccoli with the lid on. But it should not be overpowering. You may notice the odor more prominently after sweating or sitting for extended periods. However, the smell is accompanied, accompanied, accompanied by other symptoms like redness, swelling, or fever. These could be signs of infection. So if the booty is smelling.

[Tam Bam]

So that must be like a new BBL. The old BBLs can't be having this smell, right?

[Comedic Character]

I think people be having problems with the old bbls. They've had this thing sitting in their bodies for years, rottening.

[Tam Bam]

That's crazy. Yeah, Scary. I don't know if it can rotten. It's your own fat.

[Comedic Character]

I don't know. And it says maintaining optimal hygiene after BBL can be challenging. I don't know why. Maybe because y'all put too much aspect there. Especially when using the restroom. Residual stool or urine on the skin can lead to bacterial growth and odor development if not cleaned thoroughly. Be extra diligent about cleansing after bowel movements and urination to prevent unwanted smells.

[Tam Bam]

But ain't that everybody?

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. I'm like, that is not exclusive to BBL booties.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Wipe your ass is a thing for everybody. You will speak of your ass dirty. Like, what the hell?

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, I believe it's rottening, though. I believe if it's not just like the BBL with the fat transfer, like using your own fat, which your body can also still reject that. Right. But you do have a lot of women that were getting the acids added on before the BBL fat transfer. It's been around, but yeah, they were doing injections in the back of the club or in some basement in New York City.

[Tam Bam]

Like.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. And people were going to prison for performing these things. Fix a flat in the ass. All type of.

[Tam Bam]

And your ass is crazy.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, Nuts.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that's proof. I ain't had no bbl. My don't never smell like broccoli now.

[Comedic Character]

And you know, just like with anything else, like, you are the first person to smell these things. You should not be bouncing that ass around in the club knowing that this thing possibly be smelling like hot shit. Bumps that ass. You see that smell like bone, stat ass.

[Tam Bam]

You start experiencing that, you should probably go to a doctor because it got to be something that you can do to help, you know, like combat the, the broccoli chow.

[Comedic Character]

So I saw online look and I. You might think this is crazy. Personally, I don't think it is. I think it's very plausible. If I were an attorney and somebody brought this lawsuit to me, I'll be like, you know what, you might be on to something. So apparently a Russian man sued Apple for turning him gay. It says a Russian man, his name is D Rasam Mulov, filed a lawsuit against Apple claiming that the company's products turned him gay. This is one of the most bizarre legal cases in history. It says, it says he downloaded a crypto app onto his phone where he started receiving gay coin instead of bitcoin. The app apparently said, don't judge until you try inspiring Razamullah, whatever, how you pronounce the last name. To begin having sex, to begin having same sex relationships. He ended up falling in love with another man and now he is suing Apple because of it.

[Tam Bam]

The dumbest shit I ever heard. Did nobody make you fuck a dude? You chose it?

[Comedic Character]

No, I think that, I really do think that there is subliminal messaging with. This is direct messaging. Don't knock it till you try it. You know what I'm saying? And he actually tried it. You know, I know I've said this on the show before. There's a lot of men that are probably gay in the mind before they are actually physically gay, right? Or maybe some of them may never ever act on the urge, right, to have sex with the same sex. But they think about it a lot and they just haven't gotten like the opportune time or situation to do it. And now this thing has enticed him to do it. He might have a lawsuit.

[Tam Bam]

He gonna lose badly.

[Comedic Character]

I don't think so. Think about it.

[Tam Bam]

Take the accountability. Like Apple didn't make you go nowhere. And fuck no, man. Like you can't. That was a firm decision.

[Comedic Character]

What if he can prove that Apple kept sending him this message to his phone? Like it just kept popping up on his phone. Don't knock it till you try it. That is.

[Tam Bam]

Look, Panera keeps sending me messages to get broccoli soup. I ain't got none yet.

[Comedic Character]

But McDonald's has been sued for subliminal messaging many times throughout history. Think about this young boy who just committed suicide because AI told him to come be with him. You see?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's the problem.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. Like. And if somebody.

[Tam Bam]

But I just don't think sexual acts count because you have to literally go do it. Like, you have to decide that you want to have sex with another same sex.

[Comedic Character]

I think he got a lawsuit. We'll see. I'm gonna track it.

[Tam Bam]

If you win that. I'm suing everybody for every choice I've ever made in life that wasn't right. Spending. Spending money on clothes. Y'all keep sending me messages about buying clothes, and I keep buying clothes. And now I ain't got no money. That's y'all fault. So I'ma sue y'all. And I better win. If this win about. And be Apple. And Apple owe him some money for him deciding to suck some dick. That was a choice. If you want to suck some dick, it's okay. But don't, don't. Don't put it on Apple. Apple ain't got nothing to do with it.

[Comedic Character]

Okay, Eve, I feel like we can find some lawsuits where people probably sued in one for these things. They may not publicize them heavily because they don't want other people trying this shit. But, you know, like, all lawyers got to do is convince the jury that's it. And I feel like he would be able. His attorney may be able to convince the jury that ain't no way.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know who else gonna be able to win that case. Me.

[Comedic Character]

That's who. Me.

[Tam Bam]

Good luck. What else happened over the weekend? Oh, did you see where Young Miami she was on Shannon Sharp.

[Comedic Character]

Shay Shay.

[Tam Bam]

And she explained that she'll give her significant other four times the cheat before she calls it a rap. Four times the cheat. That number is very specific.

[Comedic Character]

I'll give him like four times. That's. I didn't watch the full interview yet. I only saw like the clips online. But I laugh my ass off when she said like four times. Young Miami ass, funny as hell without trying to be funny. She just right round the way, girl.

[Tam Bam]

Because you can't even. You shouldn't. Even if that's the case, you shouldn't say it out loud. I feel like you're gonna be like, you said I had four times.

[Comedic Character]

I seen it Club Shay Shay, girl. I have an ex boyfriend who always like at leave once every two years I might speak to this nigga and he always complains about how I didn't give him second, third, fourth chance you give all these other a chance, you ain't never get to fuck me over again. You mad because I gave another a chance to me over, not you, right? That is beyond me. These people's thinking, nah, nigga, I just didn't feel like you were worth all these extra chances, which he had a lot. So I'm trying to figure out, like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, yeah, so I'm definitely not about to give a Like. Okay, we're gonna strike off one. You got three left.

[Tam Bam]

Some. Like. Some people, cheating is a ultimate deal breaker. It's the ultimate disrespect for the relationship. Some people, it ain't. You know, I. I'm.

[Comedic Character]

Go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

I always have to weigh, like, am. Am I more happy than not? That's always the answer for me in. In every scenario, am I smiling more or not smiling enough? Then I gotta go. It don't matter what the infraction is.

[Comedic Character]

Right, or how many times. I mean, the more you do, I'm losing, like, respect for you. I'm losing trust. You know what I'm saying? So even if you. And then eventually you ain't gonna be able to trust me, because I'm gonna make you feel it, you know? So do you really want to be here after you done on me? A lot of times I may not have left you, and that's a toxic trait of mine. I may not leave you right. For cheating, but you want to feel my wrath, and I'm not even. I mean, I'm not going to say nothing, but you're gonna feel like something going on, okay? So don't play with me, because I do. I'm. I am a one upper.

[Tam Bam]

My daddy said when he had cheated on my mom when they were young and mama took him back, but he said we had to eat out the same plate for like, two months before he trusted to eat. Come over here with your fork. Cause we not eating out a different bowl.

[Comedic Character]

He thought she was gonna poison him.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[Comedic Character]

Why are you still with somebody you can't trust? And I. I never understand why men stay with women. They still eat food from. But you don't trust me, right? Just be eating up this food, asking me what I'm cooking, asking me what we eating. But you. But you scared, right? You ain't scared enough.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you ain't scared. You.

[Comedic Character]

You are not scared enough. All right, y'all. So for this week's episode, Tammy, when the last time you watched Waiting to Exhale the other day. For real. So I. I have watched it as like a super adult because I feel like we would have been teenagers when it came out, right? Like, I have watched it. Girl, beat it.

[Tam Bam]

Up, okay?

[Comedic Character]

I wasn't born yet. I saw it last week. Girl, get out of here.

[Tam Bam]

A vintage movie for me.

[Comedic Character]

Like, I don't know if we were watching Wayne Takes Hell, like when we actually got into these, like, serious relationships. When you watch Waiting Takes Hell, and I do suggest y'all to go watch it now if you haven't in the last five years, right? Six years, 10 years, whatever it is.

[Tam Bam]

I lived the other day on the plane like, yeah, it's one of those movies on the flight.

[Comedic Character]

Go watch it. Because I, I want to talk about it with you, but I also want to talk about it like, with the listeners. What y'all think about waiting to excel as it pertains to, like, our life now and dating? Did anything change? Is it the same we now experience and what we saw them as? You know, grown women, career women, mothers, single, fine bitch, you know what I'm saying? Like. Like, are we experiencing the same things?

[Tam Bam]

Let's get into it.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, we'll be right back.

[Nissan Advertiser]

The first two months of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your weird cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with the 64 color personalized lighting option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill or in straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.

[Comedic Character]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional features.

[Dutch Advertiser]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same Day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Comedic Character]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like, Joe?

[Tam Bam]

You like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often. There's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[Comedic Character]

Not like.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No.

[Tam Bam]

Have we?

[Comedic Character]

No.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No, not yet. Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls, gays and they to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[Comedic Character]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Comedic Character]

All right, now, aside from, you know, just thinking about the characters on Waiting, Waiting to Exhale, I actually came across this post and I sent it to Tammy and I just want to read a couple parts of. Right. Because it says after watching. Excuse me. After re watching Waiting to Exhale for the first time since I was younger. Same. Right. It felt to me. Excuse me. It left me with a lot to unpack. And here's a whole thread, right? So it begins with saying like, so this movie is classically known for the infamous scene of Bernardine, that character that was played by Angela Bassett. Angela Bassett, yeah. Setting her soon to be ex husband clothes on fire in his car. But that wasn't the only thing that exploded. Right? So she's saying like mentally now let's just unpack that one part, because I. I literally have that. The scene where she walked up in the boardroom and slapped that white. I. I got that saved on Instagram. I seen it one day, and I. I love that part of the movie. Bernadine, I'm in a meeting here.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If you need something, I suggest.

[Comedic Character]

Would you mind terribly if I had a few words with my husband? What the hell are you doing? I've been to the bank. Thank you. Thank you for thinking of your children. Everybody out. Yes, out. Okay. You don't come into my office and start throwing some tantrum because you can't finish what you started. What am I supposed to do for money? I gave you the house, now sell it?

[Tam Bam]

I think we all enjoyed that part.

[Comedic Character]

That looked like it was a real slap.

[Tam Bam]

It was not.

[Comedic Character]

It looked really real. Like, they act the. Out of that part.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. She's like, do you. Excuse me. Do you think I could talk to my husband for a second? She's like, sure.

[Comedic Character]

I didn't pop. So the next thread. The next part of the thread says there's a heavy depiction of loneliness and how women can conceive consistently say yes to things that say no to them. That's true. Right. When you, like, kind of lonely, this.

[Tam Bam]

Is definitely me you be settling for, right? Be, like, entertaining old just because it's familiar, but it don't really align with what I really want or desire, honestly. And the loneliness get to you, man. That I tell you. And your body will betray your mind every time. Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

And then you asking. Asking different. You asking the universe for one thing. Right. But you're not doing your part because you're lonely. And I. I say this a lot. I remember when one of my friends, her daughter is my goddaughter. She. She sent me a text message one day and asked me, like, to help her basically write a letter to my goddaughter graduating from high school. And one of the. The main things I said for her to put in this letter is, like, get comfortable being alone, you know, Be okay with yourself, you know? Yeah, that. And it's. It's really not, though, because I do like solitude. I do like being by myself.

[Tam Bam]

Girl, I ain't never seen you be single.

[Comedic Character]

I've been. You be.

[Tam Bam]

You be with, like, a man. You be, like, consistently with a new.

[Comedic Character]

That's not true. See, it's mental, though, right? I might physically be with a new, but they don't got me mentally.

[Tam Bam]

How you got another already.

[Comedic Character]

God damn.

[Tam Bam]

I can't have a I never have a. This have a new every couple of months.

[Comedic Character]

It's the physical, not the mental. Anyway, girls, I'll tell my business. Like, I won't be telling. Is also revealed how sometimes single mothers put the responsibility on their sons to be the man of the house and absence of their fathers. Absolutely.

[Tam Bam]

So that's Bernardine. Bernardine, definitely. And I know women like, not Bernardine.

[Comedic Character]

That's the character that Gloria. Yeah, Gloria. Gloria does that.

[Tam Bam]

Who was played by Loretta Divine. She definitely enmeshed her son like. And just treated him like he was her man instead of her son and didn't want him to go hang out with friends, didn't want him to travel, didn't want him to experience because she had put that responsibility on her son to be her man. Yeah, I gotta stop doing that. It's a lot of y'all moms that's out here listening to us right now. Stop doing that to your son. Not his responsibility.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. And so they. They lean on. You know, when I checked into the hotel, when I went to Dallas last week, I told the girl at the desk like, yeah, I do a podcast. So I, I, you know, I sent it to her so she can listen to a young girl, and she was like, you know, y'all should do an episode on black women and their sons. And I didn't understand what she was talking about until she, like, explained more. Because she's the daughter. Right. And she has a brother that the mom, you know, puts on this pedestal. Yeah. And I explained to her this is what it is because she's using her son as a place filler for the man she doesn't have. So when I say I don't like men who got mamas, this is exactly why I need your mom to be in a healthy relationship so she's not interfering in ours.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Comedic Character]

That's it. You know. So it goes on to say we see a normal. We see a normality of women settling for temporary satisfaction with married men in exchange for a false reality of companionship. Reassurance can provide the comfort of a weighted blanket, even if it is an illusion.

[Tam Bam]

And now that's Savannah, played by Whitney Houston.

[Comedic Character]

Yep. And they remember the scene where Bernadine met the guy played by Wesley Snipes.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, I think no. First of all, Bernadine, Angela Bassett met Herbert.

[Comedic Character]

Who? Herbert.

[Tam Bam]

He's harmless now. He was married. And she went and him. And it's kind of like, all right, you upset about your husband leaving, and then you went and somebody else husband kind of seemed contradictory.

[Comedic Character]

It is. And see, that's why I beat up, because it'd be the hypocrisy for me. How you smashing somebody else, man. But you don't want nobody smashing your man. Like what goes around, comes around.

[Tam Bam]

Doing some shit you just got finished doing is crazy.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. And I ain't gonna sit up here on this Goddamn. What kind of mics do? Is this on a sure mic and lie and say that I never have sex with or with somebody else's man. I absolutely have. That's why I'm never surprised when this happens to me. It just. You just can't be a habitual side when it comes to me. Like, you just can't always be trying to on my man. It's a problem for me, right? Stop it. You get four times to my. In order. Fourth time I'm beating your ass because these for everybody.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, I ain't never been with nobody, man.

[Comedic Character]

Girl, come on. Come on. Okay. Come on.

[Tam Bam]

Never.

[Comedic Character]

I love you. Come on.

[Tam Bam]

Next slide.

[Comedic Character]

You make me. You made me click off my damn slides. Hold on. I got a PowerPoint presentation in this.

[Tam Bam]

I'll read it while you trying to find it. While grieving in the moment of love loss, one would settle for just being held to remind themselves that they, too, have some level of capacity.

[Comedic Character]

And that was the scene with her. And I don't even know what his name was in the movie. Do you know.

[Tam Bam]

You remember Wesley Snipes? No, I don't remember.

[Comedic Character]

I don't remember. But, yeah, they didn't have sex. They just met at a bar in a. In a hotel, and they just spent the night together just for some intimacy.

[Tam Bam]

He still cheated on his wife by doing it.

[Comedic Character]

Well, his wife was. Was terminally ill also, you know, so if I was a terminally ill wife, like, please go live your life. I would not want somebody to be, like, just at my bedside.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I mean, I would want them at my bedside, but I would understand if he was cuddling with somebody to be comforted in the midst of my, you know, me dying.

[Comedic Character]

Do you remember? I can't remember her name, though. This is just. I have to find a story and tell y'all about it. But it was a black woman. She was very famous, like, on social media and stuff. And she had got, like, Parkinson. No, she had got dementia. I believe she came. She was diagnosed with dementia, and she was declining. Like, so imagine, like, I don't know, Oprah Winfrey all of a sudden. And her husband now have. Has her propped up with his new white next to them like, they're still there. Yeah. He's now moved his new woman in while he cares for his.

[Tam Bam]

Wait till I'm dead while I'm still living. God damn.

[Comedic Character]

And y'all on my page, right? The nerve.

[Tam Bam]

But some would just leave you to feel yourself. So I guess that's better than that. But it's. Don't bring that. Don't have. We don't need. We ain't in no thruffle because I'm sick.

[Comedic Character]

And she just looking. Sitting there, looking out of place, just wondering, you know, what's going on.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. All right, the next slide says, and how could we forget the fact that sometimes parents will project the areas of lack in their life and try to control your destiny based off of their fear?

[Comedic Character]

Girl, been there, been there. Mm.

[Tam Bam]

So that mama was encouraging her to sleep with somebody else's husband and have. And build a relationship with someone's husband because she didn't want her to end up alone. Like her. He's a good man, Savannah. We share that line so much, but he really wasn't. He wasn't good. Kendall is not a good man at all.

[Comedic Character]

He was not good at all. And, you know, I had kind of had that issue with my mama, man, still talking to my ex fiance, like, get off the phone with that nigga. And it was only because that could build from scratch, and she didn't have that her own relationship. Like, somebody who was, like, hands on could do all the things that she likes to do and doing with her. Like, I'm being abused by this.

[Tam Bam]

Some carpentry.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. She, like, keep talking to him so he can put this tile up in the kitchen first. I break up. That really happened in real life. Mama. Hey, girl.

[Tam Bam]

All right, the next one.

[Comedic Character]

So it says a common theme in that. The common theme is that black women are expected to settle and see wherever you land, even if it means sharing with someone else a lot of the things. A lot of things can build up. But how does one release when these things get too heavy? And it says, now, again, I watched this as a kid and won't take away from it being a classic. But now as an adult, I question if the title Waiting to Exhale is a sign of foreshadowing that may never come. Y'all let me know what y'all think and see. Thus now our conversation about these characters in the movie, because really, waiting to Exhale. Were y'all really, like.

[Tam Bam]

They damn sure was. They damn sure was waiting. Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

And, like. And I feel like these characters still exist today. Amongst the women. And then the archetype, like these men also still exist. These same type of relationships still go on. And you just throw social media in the mix.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Comedic Character]

Instead, imagine if they had social media. Then Bernadine would have been on Instagram blasting the shit out that white lady.

[Tam Bam]

And somebody would have took a video of her all up on Herbert in the club.

[Comedic Character]

Exactly. The slap would have been on the Internet in real time. You know, if social media existed, somebody would have been in that office recording that. Like, you really could get away with murder back in the day. Not now, not so much.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. Poolside. Yeah. We getting pictures of you hoes.

[Comedic Character]

Exactly. So here's like the. I guess, like, the character breakdowns, right? So Savannah, which is played by Whitney Houston, She's a successful career woman searching for love. Okay? So that's a lot of women's stories. Like, you know, you got the men out here, the red pill community, and other regular black men are saying, we don't give a. About y'all degrees, jobs. Y'all be acting nasty when you get them. And we know we just want good women. Right. But it is the more money you make, the more assets you acquire. Sometimes it is hard to find love, you know, because who really loves you, who's trying to use you? It's like, we have to. We have to, really. And then the successful men don't really want a woman that's as successful as them. It's like a. Some. Maybe it's a subconscious thing for them. I don't know. That they don't even realize.

[Tam Bam]

A power thing.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. Because you can't really control this woman in a way. Or maybe. Maybe women, the more degrees you get, the more money you make. Maybe you aren't coachable. Maybe you can't be led. You know, that's something to think about.

[Tam Bam]

What was the name? Who. Who. She's like, I gave him $20, gas, came to $7, and he didn't even bring me my change. And he was in there using her toothbrush. And he came and there was like. And it was over in a couple, like, 30 seconds.

[Comedic Character]

That was the guy Robin was fucking with, right?

[Tam Bam]

Savannah?

[Comedic Character]

Really?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I'm gonna keep her at the zoo. Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

You know the damn movie verbatim? Nut. I do.

[Tam Bam]

I know this movie girl. And I just watched it over again.

[Comedic Character]

So, yeah, so it says you. So she's trying to, like, maintain her. Savannah is trying to maintain her self respect and recognize when a relationship isn't serving her right. So that's a lot of Our stories, like being able to see when not working out and walk away early.

[Tam Bam]

That's. That'd be the part for me.

[Comedic Character]

Mm.

[Tam Bam]

Because I'll be a mad about something and be like, I'm done with this motherfucker. And then when I'm unmad, I let him come back.

[Comedic Character]

The thing is, I don't ever get unmad because I do hold grudges, right. So then what keeps happening is that I'm just adjusting. I'm just like, yeah, Slytherin. Like, just adjusting. And you may not like who I become after a while.

[Tam Bam]

I'm not mad no more. I had to make a video to myself, mad one day.

[Comedic Character]

Like, look at this video.

[Tam Bam]

You're fucking stupid again.

[Comedic Character]

Well, I don't be like, just mad. Let's just consistently mad. But I. I don't never forget. You see what I'm saying? So you think, cool. I. It's here and it ain't going nowhere. I may not act mad every single day because that's just not my. I don't walk around mad. I'm just. My normal setting is happy.

[Tam Bam]

So you don't let go.

[Comedic Character]

Not really. I just put a stick either. I don't. It's not about not letting things go. Okay. Once. Okay. I put a sticky note on you. Right. I may not let that thing determine how I handle things with you in the future, but if there is, like a. If. If I can tie this new thing to that thing, it still exists. It's not that I didn't forget about it. You're still doing the thing.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[Comedic Character]

You see what I'm saying so that I won't say that I just hold grudges and I'm just not with you no more because obviously I've fucked with people who have done some super dirty shit to me, and I do give grace and room for people to grow the same way I need room to grow. But if the look routine, I'm not gonna forget. I remember because I got. I've been at a sticky note on your ass.

[Tam Bam]

Right? I don't forget.

[Comedic Character]

So the Bernardine character, which I think everybody loves her character, right? I feel like she has had, like, the biggest, biggest part and the biggest storyline in the movie for the most part. So, I mean, her husband did the worst you could think of, right? You help this man build this company together. I mean, build this company. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Now he's just, like, discarding you. You got children for him, and he's like, I'll get them for the holidays, like, just not leaving you with nothing, which I don't even understand how that can even happen. Like, she put her whole life to the side for his dreams.

[Tam Bam]

She made him her whole life. That's what she did. We should all take a lesson from that, because you'll fall in love and, you know, want to be the most supportive partner and lose yourself in it and look up and this nigga has all this money now and done all these things, and if he don't love you anymore, now you just lost. Was definitely lost after this. Like, cut my hair. If you don't come with a cut.

[Comedic Character]

It, I'll cut the shit.

[Tam Bam]

Like, she didn't even know, like, you know, who she was anymore without.

[Comedic Character]

And then in today's time, Bernadine would be on social media and there would be men calling her washed up and bagged baggage. And all this because she gave a man her whole life.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[Comedic Character]

You know, and now they're acting like, okay, you can't do any better. You're not. Nobody wants you now. Which is.

[Tam Bam]

I saw her at the 7:11 the other night when I got on and rollers in her head. I had to take my girlfriend at home. You remember that part?

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. Poor Bernadine, man. Like, so I. I am guilty of definitely losing myself in a relationship and looking at not. Not doing my hair no more. Meanwhile, this. Making jokes about how he look younger than me and. Because you are literally stealing my life force.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Comedic Character]

You know, because women, we give a lot of ourselves a lot of times, you know what I'm saying, to our partners. So I just don't know where the. The narrative comes from that black women don't build with black men. I just don't know where the that came from. There's a lot of women who stopped. Okay? We only concerned about ourselves now. But there are a lot of women out here who still open for that.

[Tam Bam]

I think it's okay. I, you know, I. I'm definitely open to it. I would definitely want to build with a black man. I want to create legacy and build something. I just don't. It has to be a healthy balance where I'm not lost in the sauce, you know, where I'm so overcome with your goals and dreams that I forget my own. That's what I'm afraid of. You know, that also happens with women who become mothers. You know, they. They get so caught up in being a good mom that they forget themselves.

[Comedic Character]

I think what most women are looking for is just reciprocity.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

Like, you know, what I'm saying we just wanted to be reciprocal. If I do for you, you do for me. Like, why can it not be like that? It's like a lot of men are looking for therapists, and they're also looking for a secretary. There's somebody to do busy work for them. Things that they don't feel like doing even when you already have a whole plate full of as an adult to do, you know, because let's not forget, we work also. We do. And then now it comes to Robin, played by Lila Rashawn. So she just has all these, like, casual relationships. And I think she has a. A problem like. Like establishing what her self worth actually is. And it comes out in promiscuity, right? So I think nearing the end of the movie, you kind of see where she just, I'm done with this. I'm gonna be by myself.

[Tam Bam]

She just wanted to be loved. And she was a bit naive too.

[Comedic Character]

You think he stole my wallet?

[Tam Bam]

Yes. Yes.

[Comedic Character]

That's like that stole three to five dollars out my damn pocketbook while he was giving me some heads. Same, right?

[Tam Bam]

Enjoy the low life while you care, girlfriend. Enjoy the low life while you can, girlfriend.

[Comedic Character]

And see, it's the. It's the characters, like Robin, right?

[Tam Bam]

She.

[Comedic Character]

She actually, what, express how she wanted a relationship, how she wanted to be loved. Now we got the whole culture out here now, but y'all are having kids for these men, right? Y'all too want to be loved. That's really what women want.

[Tam Bam]

So while you out here want to be loved.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. So why you out here saying, you know, you. You doing it for me? You fucking all these niggas for you.

[Tam Bam]

You sure, right?

[Comedic Character]

Are you really sure? You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, I'm all for woman empowerment and, you know, being able to do whatever you want to do with your hoo.

[Tam Bam]

Ha.

[Comedic Character]

That is absolutely fine. But let's go back to earlier. We talked back. Hoenn doesn't heal, period. Okay?

[Tam Bam]

I listen, everybody that I got, I take it back right now. Every single one of them.

[Comedic Character]

You hear me? I feel like, who the would I keep on the Virginia? Like, nobody. Nobody. You know what I'm saying? I don't feel like I missed out on anybody I ever been with, period. And I could still get them niggas back if I wanted to listen.

[Tam Bam]

And not saying that everybody was just awful human beings. It just was a waste of vagina, so. Waste of my agenda for my vaginda. All right? Then there was Gloria. Gloria was one of my favorite characters.

[Comedic Character]

Because she's such a mama.

[Tam Bam]

She's such a mama bear. Not just to her son, but to all of them, seem like. Right, yeah.

[Comedic Character]

And she like the senior friend. I don't know if she was on the same age with them or not, but she just always seems so much older in any role she plays. Loretta Devine.

[Tam Bam]

But I think once you become a mama, sometimes that happens to you. You already. You just. That role happens where you just kind of calm down, become the mama bear for everybody. Sometimes you out here with kids and.

[Comedic Character]

She had the oldest. Well, between her and Bernardine, I think they were only two with kids and her son was older. So that, you know, lead us to believe that she got probably married young, had the child, and now she's finding love later on in life.

[Tam Bam]

Right. And then having her ex, the person that she, you know, looks you for romance, tell her that he's now gay. On that part, she was like, you don't have to pretend to be. You don't gotta do all of that, nigga, you know, I'm not joking. This is serious. You know, I've been bisexual for a long time and now I'm fully gay.

[Comedic Character]

I forgot about that part. That is definitely some nowadays type. That is so current.

[Tam Bam]

That's very current. It was ahead of his time, actually.

[Comedic Character]

But at least it was honest. You know, that's. That doesn't happen often nowadays. We find out in the clinic, we find out from the. From the men.

[Tam Bam]

But you know what? Honestly, a lot of these women today, I won't say a lot, but some are especially younger women, are preferring that they may be bisexual or gay. What it was Dolce saying, like a red flag is a straight man. She was being. I hope she was being sarcastic and not. I don't know.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, but even in that case, right? Even though you have women out here who are openly like accepting to that type of situation, you still have the men being deceitful. Because I think they get off on being sneaky. You know, they still go after the women who are okay with you.

[Tam Bam]

You'll be hard on these, aj. That's not all.

[Comedic Character]

I be telling the truth. Truth. I be telling the truth. I'm not being hard on them. These are like the hard facts. Hiv. And I'm. Listen, I'm not trying to put that stigma on gay men, but the statistics show. I saw some data that said 72% of trans women have HIV. That is high.

[Tam Bam]

I need to see that. I don't know if that's true.

[Comedic Character]

I swear to God, from I swear to God on my vagina. Okay, yes.

[Tam Bam]

Maybe the publication was reporting some. Some things that might be not factual to promote like trans hate or something.

[Comedic Character]

No, I don't think so. I think that. Did you read that book back in the day, the DL, Bro, DL Brother. Did you read that book, dog? That was so eye opening. Another, Some other. I should probably not have a reading in 12th grade. Probably. I mean, why not? But was it, Was it that long ago? I might have been in college at the time when that book came out. But this is a supposed heterosexual man who's now out, right? And then he's talking about that DL world.

[Tam Bam]

Eric Jerome Dickey.

[Comedic Character]

I can't remember the guy. I can't remember the author. Okay, who wrote it. Bald head, nice looking black man.

[Tam Bam]

I think it might be that, but I might be wrong.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, but he, he put some stuff in there. I'm like, yo, this is scary. You know, just like them not wanting to use condoms because then they are consciously. Now you, because you put that condom on when you about to have sex with this man, you are consciously making a decision to have sex with a man. So they actually were not having sex with men because then they could pretend like, I don't know, it's just like some old out of body. Like. It wasn't me. I. It was the. Was deep. Okay? It was too deep, man. I'm telling you. So who. Who do you mo. Who do you more?

[Tam Bam]

That's what I was about to ask you. Like, which one are you? If I had to identify with a character most, I feel like I'm a hybrid. First of all, there's a little bit of me in every one of these characters and identify with all of them in certain ways. But if I had to, it's not.

[Comedic Character]

For Gloria, because we ain't got no kids. For real, I guess.

[Tam Bam]

No. But I can identify with being selfish. She was selfish with her son. She wanted him to stay home. She didn't want him to go out for New Year's Eve. You know, she was always on him. You know, I can identify with that because I can be like that, you know. But I would have to say Robin in Savannah mostly being goal driven and, you know, wanting love and trying not to reconcile my career, my ambitions for a relationship, but still wanting those things. And then Robin sometimes being. I know I can be a hopeless romantic and be a bit naive and try to like see everything through rose colored glasses instead of seeing things for what they really are sometimes, because it's just better to like be in this fairy tale than to be in a reality. I definitely can identify with Robin with that now with that stealing money out my purse. Oh, no. That's where I draw the line, you.

[Comedic Character]

Know, I lost your mind. I definitely think I'm a hybrid between Savannah and Robin as well, with a little dash of Bernardine, because I will help a nigga build some shit, right? I think I'm more Savannah when I'm in a relationship, kind of. And I'm more Robin when I'm single. Because when I'm single, I give myself permission to do all the things, but I am simultaneously looking for love like I'm looking for another relationship. May not be consciously looking and things might just happen, but I. And I. And I already kind of be knowing, like, where I want to go at next, too.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I bet. I know you do.

[Comedic Character]

Right? But this is the first time in life I'm really like, you know, if this current relationship doesn't work out, I'm cool. I swear. That's where I'm at. Like, I'm really cool on, you know, if something happens, something happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not actively. This is not easy, dog. Okay? It's not easy.

[Tam Bam]

It's not.

[Comedic Character]

So. I mean, I feel like this would be my last relationship, honestly, that I would, like, actively be trying to pursue. I don't give a. I don't believe that. I swear to God.

[Tam Bam]

Girl, you is a lover. Girl, the you talk about.

[Comedic Character]

You know, life is this life, especially in America. It's just based off a double occupancy. You are not supposed to be out here trying to do it by yourself who you tell, you know what I'm saying? So I have always been looking for a teammate, a real life teammate. And I just never got that for real out of any of my partners. The closest I got to it was with was the guy I was going to marry, but he was just not a good manager. You know, these want to lead like you. You are not a good manager. Your employees be trying to get the around you too, right? Like, you're just not a good manager. So I am somebody who could be led if you leading me in the right direction. And I also want somebody who can be led. Like, I want to be able to teach and be taught. That's what I would like in a relationship.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's fair. I definitely want somebody to steer the ship. I don't want to be in charge.

[Comedic Character]

You say that until it happens, girl. That's. That's exactly what I tell my mom. Like, my stepdaddy is made for you. Okay. You think you want a strong man? You're not gonna be able to do the type of. To them that you think I don't.

[Tam Bam]

Want to do the type of. I want someone. I've been the captain of this ship for a long time. I want somebody to come and steer. I want someone that I could be like, I trust him to make good decisions. Now, I don't want, like a dictator. I don't want to.

[Comedic Character]

Like, it's a thin line, like, for real. Like, it's just, I just haven't been able to find that sweet spot. Like the middle ground.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

It's either they leaning on you too much or they bullying you like the. Where is the sweet spot?

[Tam Bam]

That's what I want, the sweet spot. Someone who can trust my counsel but, you know, has a good. A good decision maker, you know.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. That's what I.

[Nissan Advertiser]

The first two years of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your real cousin's latest, overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let the sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with the 64 color personalized light option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill or in a straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive an all new Nissan Murano today.

[Comedic Character]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional features.

[Dutch Advertiser]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribed medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so, so much fun.

[Comedic Character]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like?

[Comedic Character]

Joe?

[Tam Bam]

You like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often there's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here. Not like no.

[Comedic Character]

Have we?

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No, no, not yet. Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls, gays and they to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we could all use more of is a little chocolate. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[Comedic Character]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Tam Bam]

For life. One thing I want to say is that I can appreciate from this movie is because they had some up scenarios going on, but it wasn't no judgment amongst them. Like they wasn't out there just harshly judging each other. And we didn't see them talking, talking about each other behind their back. Didn't see none of that. You ladies, y'all be doing that to your friends. Y'all better stop.

[Comedic Character]

So let's just get into like that then. Let's just get into like how important like the, like just the power of female friendships are because you got a lot of women out here who'd be.

[Tam Bam]

Like, I don't be with no, I.

[Comedic Character]

Just got a bunch of homeboys always like, girl, get. You're ugly. Right?

[Tam Bam]

Female friends, that's a red flag for me because how you don't have no sisters. I love my girls. I love us. You know, I want us to be great. I, I, you know I ain't gonna sit here and lie. I have talk. Like, I would be like, you ain't.

[Comedic Character]

Gonna talk to them too? That you would talk to them?

[Tam Bam]

No, probably some. I already talked to them, and now I'm venting to somebody else. Argued about the. I said, now, one thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say now. You know, I don't really like.

[Comedic Character]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

Throw the rock and hide my hand type of girl. I'ma definitely say what I. Yeah, I said that. Yeah, I said it. I said to you first, you know, like, you know, so you don't have to question that. Which is a gift and a curse too, because sometimes shit don't need to be said to them or nobody, you know?

[Comedic Character]

See, you have a friend group where everybody is like, a bunch of people in a friend group, right?

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[Comedic Character]

See, I don't really have that anymore. It's like. It's splintered now. So I got, like, friends from high school. I got my best friend from high school. And then I have my couple friends from college who not like there was a group. Right. But some are gone and then some still here that I still communicate with. Where we don't communicate with the other people that's out the group, you know what I'm saying? So it's kind of splintered. My friend. My friend groups. But then I have, like, one off people like my homegirl Kayla, who I met when I lived in St. Louis. Like, she know everybody business, but I don't necessarily tell people her business, you know what I'm saying? Like, because these people ain't gonna never meet no way. So if I'm venting about some. That a friend from this other friend group did like, there would be no reason for Kayla to ever say this to this person. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So I never like talking. Yes. I don't really have a friend group to talk about a friend in where everybody knows that person.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

You see what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

And that can become a problem. It can. It. It can become a big problem when you have, like, a friend group and y'all vent to each other about. With each other. I've seen it.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. Yeah. So that is a. That is a plus. That is a thing that we saw in the show where black women were really showing up for each other in a real way and not beating each other backs in on the low, because you need that.

[Tam Bam]

Even the scene when Gloria Loretta Devine and Savannah Whitney Houston were on the. The Ferris wheel And she was like, can I ask you a question? She was like, did you get with Herbert? She was like, I needed to get late, so I did. She's like, now he coming to my house, calling all times a night. Like, Herbert wanted that again, bad. But Gloria definitely was disappointed in her. But she didn't treat her poorly or call her a hoe or beat her down as her friend. And y'all do that to each other.

[Comedic Character]

Mm.

[Tam Bam]

I gotta stop.

[Comedic Character]

And, I mean, as a woman, I just don't know how you get through life without, like, just some type of support system from other women. You know what I'm saying? We all be going through some of the same similar shit. I remember my homegirl, when I left my ex, like, she had left hers first. She left her dude first, right? So it's like we were, like, bonding over these narcs, essentially, right? She left hers, I left mine. For real. When I was done, I was fucking done. But she went back. I'm like, where you breaking the code? What happened? You know? But I still supported her in going back, and I still, you know, when she had had still ongoing with this person that she was still. Because they were married, so it was a little bit different, right? I didn't get into the marriage stage. She was actually married to this person, right? So, you know, I was still listening to her when she was going through all the things. Never judged her. None of that. Like, girl, I understand. I get it. I understand. But in the back of my mind, I'm like, why the did you go back? It wasn't going to be any different. I really don't think people change much when you get to a certain age. So you know what I'm saying? Like, if he change, it's not gonna be for you. It's gonna be for the next woman, right?

[Tam Bam]

With the same person. They may not change. Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. So we want to know from y'all, like, tell us a time, like, where one of your homegirls, like, have helped you through a really tough time. It don't even have to be about relationships, right? With a man or a woman or whatever, because, you know, y'all. Y'all is gay. I don't know. It's fun. Fun, because I just be playing. That's why. But yeah. So which friend do you think you are in your friend group based on these characters?

[Tam Bam]

Which friend do I think I am? Yeah, I'm definitely Gloria. As a friend, I'm definitely Gloria. Oh, and I'm Robin. Because I'll be ready to, like, Call. This ain't John. Definitely the one on the phone. Ready to cut the out by my friend. Put me on the phone. Give me the phone. I'm so. I'm robbing in that way, but I'm definitely Gloria in the. I can be, like, very nurturing, and I get real motherly on my friends. Come lay on my shoulder. Here's my shoulder. We gonna get through this together. I love you, and I'ma support you hugely, and you're gonna feel it. So I think I'm that too.

[Comedic Character]

I think I'm Bernadine and Robin. I just like how angry Bernadine was. Like, that's how I be when I get to level 10.

[Tam Bam]

For real. But you said as a friend.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, I know. Yeah, as a. I'm just thinking about, like, yeah, still, bitch. As a friend.

[Tam Bam]

But what part where Bernadine got angry? As a friend? I ain't see that I will get.

[Comedic Character]

Angry and blow my friend car up. I'm just playing. You ain't lying, bitch. No. Hell, no. I don't know. I think that for whatever reason, I feel like I probably possess all these women, you know what I'm saying, in some type of way. As a. As a friend, would I be asking Gloria, like, did you that nigga? Absolutely. I'm the friend that keeps tally of the niggas you've had sex with. So when you forget and act like you ain't never cheat on your nigga, I'm like, bitch, you ain't remember.

[Tam Bam]

See, that's why I tell you all.

[Comedic Character]

About whole facts right there, girl.

[Tam Bam]

That's why I be like, I ain't telling y'all.

[Comedic Character]

Listen, I got a home girl that's just be lying to me. Like, I know you our whole lives. Like, girl, shut up.

[Tam Bam]

I forgot.

[Comedic Character]

And here I am going through my notes on my phone up on January 27, 2019. Hey, girl, I'm that friend, okay? In case you forgot, I'm your whole facts, your whole fact checker. Yes. I think I probably. I'm probably all of them wrapped up in one. I'm gonna be nurturing, you know what I'm saying? Like. Like, Gloria is. Could be serious like Savannah. I could be ditzy like Robin. You know what I'm saying? Not know what the is going on, but not.

[Tam Bam]

But ready to turn up. Robin be the one that's. That's me. Like, don't do that, y'all. Like, it's not worth it. So I guess, you know, it's a little bit of every character in Us all.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. And Bernadette, a little sneaky. She'd be done decent. She didn't even told her friends about it until somebody asked about that.

[Tam Bam]

That's me. We're gonna tell her. Nobody about Herbert.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, that's me a little bit. So I don't know. Do you think any of them had, like, some. Who. Who had the most red flags as a woman? Like, you would think.

[Tam Bam]

Robin.

[Comedic Character]

Robin had the most red flags.

[Tam Bam]

What do you mean? Like, when you say red flags, like, was she the most toxic or was she. Yeah, the most toxic?

[Comedic Character]

Both. You know what I'm saying? Because, you know, any. I really feel like when you with anybody, it's like a small aspect of who you are too. That's even with friends like me and you, friends. Because there's part of you that I'm like. You see what I'm saying? So even with Robin, these dudes, like, that was still an aspect of her. Like, however they were, was an aspect of her. You are who you beat, basically.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I don't know. I guess they all were equally toxic in their own way. I don't feel like anybody was more toxic than the other in. In terms of how they dealt with their situations. They were just women trying to figure it out, man.

[Comedic Character]

So Robin, like, she just always, like, was entertaining men that just weren't emotionally available.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. What was his name?

[Comedic Character]

I don't know. The men.

[Tam Bam]

The dark skinned one. She was like, fat.

[Comedic Character]

So there was a Kenneth, there was a John, there was a Russell, and there was a Troy.

[Tam Bam]

Troy. That's. No, that's not. Troy was the one.

[Comedic Character]

Marvin, have a fruit bowl.

[Tam Bam]

That was Troy.

[Comedic Character]

That was a rebound disaster.

[Tam Bam]

It was the guy that worked with her that. He was like, I own a house in Scottsdale. She's like, I want to go on vacations and dinner and, you know, like, I want to be happy. When she was in the bed with him, he was like, oh, papa coming. Him. What was his name?

[Comedic Character]

I don't remember. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I can't remember. But that was another time where Gloria was like, well, remember you broke up with him, so don't embarrass us and don't embarrass yourself. Just being motherly.

[Comedic Character]

Yes. Don't forget.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Don't forget, like, the only one that was, like, stable and, like, could have taken her serious.

[Comedic Character]

But she didn't like him.

[Tam Bam]

No.

[Comedic Character]

She dropped, you see, because she liked the emotionally unavailable men. So.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Don't look at me. I know. That's why I said this Is her in so many ways. Only except for the money part. Stealing from me because I hold a dollar so tight. The eagle scream on that. Do not play with me by my money shame.

[Comedic Character]

So let's just. Let's quickly go through like the different archetypes of these men. Right quick and wrap this the up. So Kenneth was the married manipulator. Okay. Charming, emotionally manipulative and full of all the empty prom. Right. So he even convinced. Huh? Go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

I was about to say you wanted so self righteous when you were my brains out.

[Comedic Character]

So he convinces Savannah that. That she's special while refusing to leave his wife. Right. So he just wanted her to wait to the side. I mean Whitney Houston had a whole song about it. How the song go? The side bitch song Whitney Houston had.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, you talking about the. The best side bitch anthem. First of all, I did not know that was a side bitch anthem till I got.

[Comedic Character]

I always knew. I always knew.

[Tam Bam]

Stolen moments.

[Comedic Character]

Yes. You got your family and they need you there.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's a. She made being a side bitch sound so beautiful.

[Comedic Character]

I know. It was so nice. You forgot we didn't listen to the words. It just sound like an angel singing about side activities.

[Tam Bam]

About being in love with some side bitch activities. Yeah. Right.

[Comedic Character]

So Kenneth was full of. Okay, but the way I just feel.

[Tam Bam]

Like the way Savannah spazzed on him at the. At the poolside. You ain't had to do all of that because you was complicit to this very moment. And now you.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, until she wasn't.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but why you knocking the drink on him though? Just say you don't want to be involved no more and go. Cuz you was complicit the whole time and you was okay with it. Quiet while he on the phone with his. Now you mad and now you're gonna throw a drink on him. I don't understand that part.

[Comedic Character]

Because he was selling her a dream. Like, you know, she probably initially started off being quiet. You know why he on the phone? Because he's. He's supposed to eventually leave her for Savannah. Leave his wife?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Did he said another baby on the way?

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, he. She just was aggravated and probably more mad at herself than him.

[Tam Bam]

That's. That's who she should have been mad at, right?

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. So John. John was like a. He was like a selfish ass narcissist.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[Comedic Character]

Emotionally. Exactly. Dismissive of his partner's sacrifices and financial. Financially controlling.

[Tam Bam]

You're the imper. Influent.

[Comedic Character]

And he leaves her. He leaves Bernardine for a younger Woman with nervous, no remorse at all. He was cold as a younger white woman at that. He would be dead today.

[Tam Bam]

No, it'd be better if you were black.

[Comedic Character]

Oh. You know, all the scenes. You are really a nut job.

[Tam Bam]

I love movies. You know, I love movies.

[Comedic Character]

Russell, he is the. He's the bachelor, emotionally unavailable, commitment phobic. He uses this charm to get Robin in a cycle of hope and disappointment. Child.

[Tam Bam]

We don't need you. He was looking like.

[Comedic Character]

And look. Yeah. The. The modern equivalent to him would be like the person who avoids the labels. You know, I talked about a person before we started recording, okay. Saying they're not ready for the relationship but still wants the benefits of one. Right. Yeah. That. That's who Russell is. So y'all. A lot of y'all would. Russell right the now.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Okay. A lot of y'all laying next to Russell right now.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. And y'all really need to write Russell a. A letter like elementary and say check yes or no so you can know what y'all got going on because y'all just farmers right now.

[Tam Bam]

They got going on.

[Comedic Character]

They know women don't be okay. Women. Do they really be knowing? I feel like I be knowing, right. Because I don't hallucinate. But sometimes people can get things confused with raw sex trips. Meeting families, meeting your children, all the things. And the minute I ask you what are we doing? What are we is like farmers.

[Tam Bam]

We just around. We ain't going dead. Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

So I do think women get confused because why the man may be like verbally saying one thing, he's physically doing something else. And then toys. Just like I said before the rebound disaster. Okay. He's immature, he's reckless, disrespectful. Yeah. Ras Albin Robin, a chaotic escape from her emotions, but is not capable of providing true partnership. He just so. He's just that. That he's the availability dick. Okay. You don't really want him and the man you really want ain't available right now. So you just settling for this and hopefully eventually you can get the up out of there.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. He was trying to get her to meet his mama and his son and they had only been talking for three weeks or something like that. It wasn't even that long.

[Comedic Character]

Yep. And then you got Gloria, right. Gloria has Marvin. They have him labeled as a genuine healer. Okay. He's supportive, patient, emotionally mature. He genuinely cares for Gloria without manipulation or self selfish motives. So like a modern day equivalent to him would be just a emotionally secure partner who's ready for a committed Relationship. And a lot of women ask for that. But I do also believe there's a lot of women. A lot of women ain't ready for it. A lot of women say they want a man that's emotionally intelligent. But he gonna call you fat. He gonna tell you, baby, you need to work out, baby. No, absolutely. He ain't gonna call you fat. He going, come on, let's go to the gym.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Comedic Character]

Or, or he's gonna tell you when you not showing up.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Comedic Character]

Completely for him.

[Tam Bam]

And you gotta be able to receive it. The hard part.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah. Are you able to receive an emotionally intelligent man? Because, hey, you can't show up as a narc for him.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Comedic Character]

Okay. Because one thing about it, men are not dealing with the. That we deal with as women. They're not doing it.

[Tam Bam]

When Marvin told her the truth about how she was handling her son, she was mad. She could not handle it. She spazzed out. She crashed out. Leave. Go get the home at. Go to your house across the street. Because my son about to leave, and you saying, maybe he's not the one who needs to come to his senses. She's like, get out.

[Comedic Character]

You remember that part and what she had to do. Go back and apologize.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. You have to lose this good man because you trying to be attached to your son. Let that son go on.

[Comedic Character]

Let him live. Because how you. Who's the man in the house? I, I. There's no room for me in here.

[Tam Bam]

Marvin was played by. Damn name is on the tip of my tongue. He was a tap dancer. He's very talented. Tap dancer in the 80s and 90s. That hurts my feelings. I don't know his name right now. It'd be on the tip of my tongue anytime. Gregory Hines.

[Comedic Character]

Yep, yep. Yeah. So we want to know which friend are you? Which, like, just woman are you in general, when it comes to relationships out of these characters? What else we want to know?

[Tam Bam]

Okay, so no, we got some homework for y'all this week. If y'all are journal girlies, even if you're not journal girlies, let's start. All right, so get into your journal and write down what's one toxic relationship pattern you're ready to exhale from? Write that shit down for yourself, girlfriend. And what about writing down what would your waiting to exhale moment look like for you? And what's going on in your life? And which character's journey inspires you the most? And why? Journal it, bitch.

[Comedic Character]

I hear that big time.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, let's get into it.

[Comedic Character]

That's a good Friend.

[Tam Bam]

Thank you.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Now.

[Comedic Character]

Now I'm gonna write my down. Me too. I got a lot of toxic traits, deflection, all type of. I. I know. But the thing is, I be consciously aware of the things I can. I can tell you what I did and, like, here's. I actually like to tell people what I did wrong first to even, like, let me tell you what I did first, and you tell me if I'm tripping or not. That's how I really start with my. And then I'll tell you what else happened after that. Okay. What could have possibly. What I could have possibly done to start the. And maybe avoided the Right. Is what I'm gonna start with most of the time. So.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, let's get into our journals, girlies, and let's write this down so we can be better.

[Comedic Character]

Yeah, man. Better friends, better lovers. Y'all like this?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, this is fine.

[Comedic Character]

I know.

[Tam Bam]

Next week, I want to do. I really want to get into a thin line between love and hate. We need to talk about Brandi. Can we do it?

[Comedic Character]

We know a Brandi in real life, too. Same first and last name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We would. Let us know if y'all enjoyed this episode, though, right? And we gonna. I. I want to do it. We could do, like, one more week of breaking down this. This is. This was fun to me.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

[Comedic Character]

All right, y'all. So if you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on the black effect iHeartradio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your AJ holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. We want to see them. Them journals.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Comedic Character]

All right.

[Tam Bam]

Kick it the journal entries. We want to see it. We want to read it. And be nosy, y'all. It's official. Tam Bam on Instagram. Please follow me. I love y'all so much. Thank y'all for tuning in.

[Comedic Character]

Remember, speak now and never hold your breath. Okay?

[Tam Bam]

Never hold your breath. Breathe, breathe.

[Comedic Character]

For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Dutch Advertiser]

Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments, and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, will take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[Comedic Character]

Karen, where have you brought us? Karen?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dutch Advertiser]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[Tam Bam]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Dutch Advertiser]

That's my daughter, man. Who my wife has always said is just a beardless d Ckless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast. Beardless D D Me.

[Comedic Character]

I'm the old one, I'm the young one.

[Dutch Advertiser]

And every week we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[Comedic Character]

It's a work in progress.

[Dutch Advertiser]

Listen to Beardless me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Comedic Character]

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Ow.

[Comedic Character]

Go slower.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

From Blumhouse TV, iHeart podcasts and Ember.

[Comedic Character]

20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking.

[Comedic Character]

For answers about what happened to Santi.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

And what's the way to find a missing person?

[Comedic Character]

Sleep with everyone he knew? Obviously.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

[Comedic Character]

To your favorite shows.