We Talk Back – "Happily Ever PEACEFULL"
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Release Date: September 11, 2025
Network: The Black Effect & iHeartRadio
Episode Overview
In this lively and candid episode, TamBam (joining live from Paris) and AJ Holiday tackle the provocative question: Can you be single forever and still be happy? The discussion weaves through relationships, family dynamics, intergenerational love, dating outside one’s race, societal pressures, financial expectations, sex and intimacy in partnerships, and the big difference between loneliness and solitude. With their signature humor, rawness, and no-holds-barred opinions, the hosts provide not only laughs but also real insight on love, self-worth, and the realities facing Black women navigating relationships today.
Major Discussion Points & Insights
1. Catching Up: Paris Nights & Family Days
[03:05]
- TamBam shares her Parisian escapades, Drake concerts, and the nightlife scene ("I didn't get back into the hotel till like 5:30 in the morning." – TamBam)
- Jokes about PartyNextDoor's weight spark commentary on social media perceptions and celebrity image.
[05:41]
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AJ reflects on long family visits and the reality of rarely seeing aging parents.
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TamBam opens up about not seeing her dad in two years despite daily group chat convos, underscoring the importance of quality time.
"When you calculate how often you actually see your parents... see your parents more often." – AJ Holiday (06:00)
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AJ shares a deeply personal reveal about her father's secret cancer diagnosis, sparking a conversation on adult children "raising" their parents and recognizing the caregiving role of younger partners (“Shout out to the young bitches with them old niggas, especially when you got our daddy.” – AJ, [08:07])
2. Race, Relationships & Internet Outrage
[08:17]
- Discussion of Summer Walker’s VMAs appearance with an older white partner, and backlash about interracial relationships.
- AJ contextualizes her applause for Summer’s choice:
"She already said she wasn't doing it for love no more – she's doing it for the black card." (09:21)
- TamBam questions if race-based criticism is fair:
“You don’t see nobody else talking shit in there? Ain’t nothing but black men.” (10:51)
- AJ contextualizes her applause for Summer’s choice:
- Critique of double standards: Black women dating out are labeled “gold diggers,” while Black men face little scrutiny for the same.
[11:46]
- Rant on how Black women who date white men usually have their lives together, and are drawn to spaces where they feel celebrated.
[12:07] Ginger J Situation
- TamBam and AJ lambast UK rapper Ginger J's anti-Black-women rhetoric. AJ questions his motives and masculinity, connecting his aggression to unresolved issues with his own mother.
“You got a black mama and that’s who you mad at. You need to go sit with Iyanla, you and your mama.” – TamBam (13:09)
- Both critique Black men in the room who don’t defend Black women against attacks.
3. Family Legacy & Gendered Lines
[13:54]
- Spotlight on the Sherman family (Montgomery County, TX) going 108 years without a girl being born—now celebrating a daughter on the way.
“That means literally every woman with the Sherman last name was married into the family. That’s crazy.” – TamBam (15:05)
4. Can Octopuses Teach Us to Set Boundaries?
[15:52]
- AJ and TamBam riff on the news that female octopi throw objects at harassing males, comparing it to women’s experience with persistent men and pushing for creative self-defense.
"Maybe we need to start that, you know... just throw some shit!" – TamBam (17:20)
5. The Central Question: Can You Be Happily Single Forever?
[21:35]
- AJ’s take: She’d be okay alone but prefers partnership because “life is built for double occupancy.”
- TamBam finds beauty in alone time but admits some loneliness—especially when eating alone, longing for companionship.
- AJ points out the “peace” of not having to cook or care for another adult:
“When you single, some nights I don't even eat. I just go to sleep.” (22:52)
- AJ points out the “peace” of not having to cook or care for another adult:
- Both agree that the freedom to not compromise or consider another constantly is invigorating, but so is being wanted and building shared memories.
[24:15] On Titles & Commitment
- Debate on needing "the title" in relationships, with TamBam admitting past commitment-phobia but now wanting “all the things.”
- AJ admits to sometimes self-sabotaging, waiting for the “nigga shit” to show up in a seemingly good relationship.
Memorable exchange:
TamBam: "You feel like this is your forever person?"
AJ: "What is forever? …I will love like I've never been hurt before. …When I do leave, I'm out of there forever." (26:48)
6. Healing, Apologies, and Patterns in Love
[28:09]
- Both discuss confronting infidelity: TamBam confronts immediately; AJ “builds a RICO case” by collecting evidence.
- On the futility of “tit for tat” revenge in relationships.
[31:45]
- AJ’s story about leaving a partner and being questioned by his child about taking food—highlights “stepmom fatigue” and boundary-setting.
7. The “Proudly Single” Myth & Dating Narratives
[31:56]
- Skepticism about the “happily single forever” trope: Both believe most women want partnership but may say otherwise as a defense.
- “We want somebody to consider us. We just want it with the right person, and we don’t want to have to go through the fucking struggle first to get it. …It’s a defense mechanism.” – AJ (32:12/32:53)
- Commentary on how Black women “don’t know how to date,” and cultural pressure to delay or devalue dating until after college.
8. Maturity, Gender, and Relationship Reality Checks
[34:22]
- Discussion of how men and women mature emotionally, often not finding themselves until their 30s or 40s.
- AJ uses her dad as an example: “playing” well into his elder years.
9. Loneliness vs. Solitude
[37:41]
- Exploring the nuance between loneliness (painful absence) and solitude (peaceful aloneness).
- “You can be alone in solitude and not be lonely.” – AJ
- AJ and TamBam both value time apart and even advocate for separate bedrooms as a relationship longevity tactic.
10. Would You Rather? Relationship Dilemmas
[45:34]
Quick-fire questions reveal core values:
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Single forever or date someone broke?
- AJ: “Broke is a mindset. If you have a broke mindset, I can’t fuck with you...” (45:46)
- Both agree: Being single is preferable to being with a broken or angry man.
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Single forever or deal with a cheating partner you love?
- AJ: “Even if he stops cheating, the trust is gone.” (47:14)
- TamBam: “Cheating ain’t a dealbreaker for me…” (47:39)
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Single forever or married with no sex?
- AJ: “Most women want more than sex… but married with no sex? That’s rough unless he got a bag.” (49:51)
- Discussion of why women withdraw sexually in relationships: "We giving that pussy up when we in love… if she’s not, she don’t like you." – AJ (51:21)
11. Relationship Maintenance: Space, Forgiveness, and Sex
[40:04]
- Both advocate for personal space in relationships – separate bedrooms and bathrooms for mental health.
- On cuddling: “Cuddle, but when it’s time to go to sleep, please go to your corner…” – TamBam (41:17)
[53:09]
- On marital sex frequency: “Having sex every night, having sex every time your man wants… I wouldn’t suggest that to anybody… have a little boundaries in the marriage to keep him productive.” – AJ (53:09)
- On intimacy: It's not about sex on demand—men must understand true intimacy and not expect “pussy on tap” after being disrespectful.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On parents and aging:
“See your parents more often.” – AJ Holiday ([06:00]) -
On interracial dating double standards:
“No one comes for Black men dating out, but Summer Walker gets roasted. Why?” – TamBam ([10:51]) -
On women choosing solitude:
“It’s just a defense mechanism. If I don’t pick nobody, nobody can hurt me.” – TamBam ([32:53]) -
On single woman freedom:
“When you single, some nights I don't even eat. I just go to sleep.” – AJ Holiday ([22:52]) -
On mature relationships:
“You might not be dealing with a fully developed male until he's late 30s, 40s…” – AJ Holiday ([34:31]) -
On marital sex and burnout:
“If you milking a man every single night, I promise you, he's not producing… because I put niggas to sleep!” – AJ Holiday ([53:07])
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 03:05: TamBam in Paris, nightlife recap
- 05:41: Visiting parents, aging & health
- 08:17: Shout-out to younger partners caring for older men
- 09:19: Summer Walker, VMAs, and interracial relationships
- 12:07: UK rapper Ginger J and Black women
- 13:54: Sherman family’s 108-year all-male streak broken
- 15:52: Female octopus news and asserting boundaries
- 21:35: Main topic: can you be happy single forever?
- 28:09: On cheating, confrontation, and relationship boundaries
- 37:41: Loneliness versus solitude, personal space in relationships
- 45:34: “Would you rather…” segment: broke partner, cheater, no-sex marriage
- 53:07: Why women stop having sex in relationships
Final Thoughts
- On women and relationship happiness:
“Y’all better stop flexing like y’all happy being single because you’re not. OK? And no, I’m not saying you’re lonely. Right? I think men, they just think that women are just going to die alone. The Bible says man shouldn’t be alone.” – AJ Holiday ([57:55]) - On picking better:
“We want good men. A lot of women need to stop acting like it, and it's because ... they ran into a bad man. The men like to tell us, 'choose better.' You be thinking you choosing better, and then all of a sudden, Michael Myers shows up on your ass.” – AJ ([58:41]) - TamBam closes with a blessing:
“I pray a healthy relationship for anyone within the sound of my voice, whether that be with yourself or with somebody else. Amen.” ([59:14])
Summary
True to their mission, TamBam and AJ leave no stone unturned in the search for "Happily Ever Peacefull." With hilarious anecdotes, honest vulnerabilities, and cultural critique, the hosts make clear: Black women crave peace, connection, and respect—whether single or partnered. The episode dismantles the “happy being single forever” rhetoric, exposes double standards, and insists: women can thrive alone, but most still desire love—with the right person, on their own terms.
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