Have Some Dixcilplin

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Talk Back – "Have Some Dixcilplin"

Episode Details:

• Title: Have Some Dixcilplin
• Release Date: July 10, 2025
• Hosts: TamBam and A.J. Holiday
• Description: Hosted by two unapologetically Black women with strong opinions, TamBam and A.J. Holiday navigate discussions on sex, relationships, money, and personal growth, offering raw, unfiltered comedic repartee aimed at guiding femininity to its ultimate greatness.

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1. Personal Anecdotes and Experiences (02:26 - 07:05)

The episode opens with TamBam and A.J. Holiday sharing their recent personal experiences. A.J. recounts her spontaneous trip to Puerto Rico, mentioning her fasting regimen prior to the trip and the positive mental clarity it brought her.

Notable Quote:

• A.J. Holiday [03:08]: "Fasting and going out there, feeling really, really euphoric mentally, I can have everything I want, Period."

TamBam contrasts her weekend activities, highlighting her busy schedule during the holiday weekend, including late-night gym sessions and a family-oriented cookout in a wealthy community. Their exchanges set a relatable tone, reflecting on balancing personal goals with social obligations.

2. Discussion on Diddy's Legal Battle (07:05 - 16:24)

The conversation shifts to the high-profile legal case of Sean "Diddy" Combs. The hosts dissect his recent acquittal on several charges related to sex trafficking and racketeering, analyzing the implications for the Black community and the justice system.

Notable Quotes:

• A.J. Holiday [08:30]: "Sean Diddy Combs got a standing ovation from fellow inmates when the music mogul returned to jail after being acquitted of sex trafficking and racketeering in his federal trial."
• TamBam [11:52]: "It wasn't a huge victory for me, you know, it was a victory for black men against the feds."
• A.J. Holiday [12:55]: "She thought that she was engaged in this stuff together. There's no other reason for you to be here."

They delve into Cassie’s role in the case, her financial ties to Diddy, and the broader issues of systemic injustice and exploitation within the Black community. The discussion highlights the complexities of public figures facing legal scrutiny and the impact on their personal relationships.

3. Scamming and Identity Theft Concerns (16:24 - 26:50)

TamBam and A.J. Holiday transition to discussing the rise of online scams and identity theft, sharing personal anecdotes about fraudulent activities on platforms like PayPal and Coinbase. They express frustration with corporate practices that may inadvertently facilitate scams, emphasizing the importance of vigilance in digital transactions.

Notable Quotes:

• A.J. Holiday [24:43]: "I think PayPal is trying to scam your ass and just make it look like a scammer took your account over."
• TamBam [25:19]: "I have to close down the PayPal account because what is that? Who is this?"

The hosts advise listeners on protecting their personal information and navigating the challenges of maintaining digital security, underscoring the prevalence of scams targeting individuals within the community.

4. The State of the Black Community (58:07 - 62:55)

Returning to broader societal issues, TamBam and A.J. Holiday explore the historical and contemporary factors contributing to the current challenges faced by the Black community. They discuss the impact of the crack epidemic, the divisive role of music genres like gangsta rap, and the erosion of the Black family unit.

Notable Quotes:

• TamBam [58:07]: "Drugs played a part in tearing up the black family unit... then the music played a part and how we ended up divided."
• A.J. Holiday [61:14]: "We were broke. We got broken by our own men. And now we gotta fix everybody and everything."

The conversation highlights a sense of urgency in addressing internal community issues while also critiquing external societal pressures that have historically marginalized Black voices.

5. Dixcilplin: Discipline in Sexuality (33:57 - 64:07)

The core theme of the episode, "Dixcilplin," revolves around the concept of sexual discipline. The hosts define it as the intentional abstaining from casual sex to redirect sexual energy towards personal growth and creative endeavors.

Notable Quotes:

• A.J. Holiday [34:03]: "Some may think that it's for men to have discipline over their dick, and it is. But also for women having dicksipline not to get on the dick."
• TamBam [35:58]: "Abstaining was the best choice for that time... I was practicing, definitely practicing some discipline."

They discuss the benefits of this practice, such as increased mental clarity, heightened self-worth, and the ability to manifest personal goals without the distractions of casual sexual relationships. The dialogue includes practical suggestions like intermittent fasting, exercise, and spiritual practices like yoni cleansing to support this discipline.

6. Masculinity vs. Femininity and Societal Roles (64:07 - 73:37)

TamBam and A.J. Holiday engage in a deep exploration of gender dynamics, critiquing contemporary expressions of masculinity and femininity. They argue that societal issues stem from a loss of feminine energy and discipline, suggesting that reclaiming these qualities can lead to a more harmonious and progressive community.

Notable Quotes:

• A.J. Holiday [69:22]: "Men learn through consequence. This is why the bombing is going on. Men can't sit down and have an amicable conversation..."
• TamBam [71:14]: "We have to fix us first. How are we gonna tell them what to do?"

The hosts emphasize the importance of women reconnecting with their inherent strengths and spiritual connections, while also calling for men to take responsibility and support these changes. They touch on topics like the transgender movement, the destructive nature of patriarchal systems, and the need for mutual respect and understanding between genders.

7. Concluding Thoughts and Future Directions (73:03 - End)

In the closing segments, TamBam and A.J. Holiday reiterate the importance of self-discipline and internal community healing. They express hope that their listeners will adopt the principles discussed to foster personal and communal growth. The episode ends with a light-hearted exchange and a reminder to practice respectful communication.

Notable Quotes:

• TamBam [62:55]: "Practice some discipline, men and women, so you can find the best partner."
• A.J. Holiday [63:59]: "I'm going to put all my sexual energy into creating something make."

The hosts also encourage listeners to engage with their community, support one another, and continue the conversation about discipline and personal growth beyond the podcast.

---

Conclusion:

In "Have Some Dixcilplin," TamBam and A.J. Holiday deliver a compelling blend of personal stories, societal critique, and motivational discourse. They tackle complex issues within the Black community, advocating for intentional self-discipline in sexuality as a pathway to greater personal and collective well-being. Through their candid and spirited conversation, the hosts provide listeners with both insights and actionable advice to navigate the challenges of modern life while fostering a sense of empowerment and unity.

Transcript

[A.J. Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Tammy]

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[Carlos Miller]

Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Just kidding. I am the boss. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. And building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or even making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com first came the chicken wars.

[Voiceover]

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[A.J. Holiday]

The best kind of help is the.

[Tammy]

Kind you don't have to ask for.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like your friend pulling up on a.

[Tammy]

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We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.

[A.J. Holiday]

What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam, y', all.

[Tammy]

It's Tammy. I love y' all so, so, so, so very much.

[A.J. Holiday]

Tam Flaming.

[Tammy]

I love you too, aj. You look very tan.

[A.J. Holiday]

Do I? Yes. You should see this bikini line. Okay. I went to Puerto Rico this weekend. A little last minute, little tings, y'. All. I fasted up to my trip, too. I fasted from last week, Sunday to Thursday. Okay. Before the trip, I went out there feeling real.

[Tammy]

Who knew that she was.

[A.J. Holiday]

That is a lie.

[Tammy]

No one was irritable.

[A.J. Holiday]

One thing y' all could count on is that I' ma be me every day. It ain't no different. It's no different. It's no different. The energy gonna always be the same.

[Tammy]

AJ Eating fish is nicer than aj.

[A.J. Holiday]

I really ate too much goddamn seafood this weekend too, man. I really want to try not to even eat seafood no more. For real, man. I don't know how I'm gonna do that, being a fish head and all, but I. I'mma figure it out. But I had a great time in Puerto Rico. Very, very, very great time. And what I realized, you know, fasting and going out there, feeling really, really euphoric mentally, I can have everything I want, Period. Okay. You know, the feeling gets the blissing, right? So, like when people be manifesting, you know, they say you got to say the words and all that, but you got to feel like you that out there with a bikini on and back fat, not giving a.

[Tammy]

Listen, you gotta. It all starts in the mind first.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yep. And you just gotta. You gotta really feel anything you really want. You gotta feel like that's what you deserve. So that's just how I'm stepping going forward. Right. Not that I haven't in the past, but what I realize is maybe, just maybe, even though I always knew what I deserved, I always. I just wouldn't put. Wasn't putting it on the forefront. You know what I'm saying?

[Tammy]

Your consciousness or just.

[A.J. Holiday]

Just. Just allowing things that I don't fucking deserve out of other people for fucking what it is my way or the highway going forward. Because my highway is good. Right? I'm devil shitting on you. So you don't got to worry about that over here. I just want reciprocity. And I think that's what most good people want in this life. And you can have it. You can get all the things. So, yeah, I Had a great time, met some nice people, ate some really good food. And you know, Puerto Rico just is just Miami a little bit. You know what I'm saying? It's just a quick little flight. I've never been shit for the weekend.

[Tammy]

For real.

[A.J. Holiday]

Puerto Rico. Matter of fact, the city of San Juan is overrated, right? So we. You got to kind of like drive out to go to the other beaches and like the rural. Rural.

[Tammy]

More. More rural.

[A.J. Holiday]

Rural areas. Horseback riding, all that shit. Like there's other parts of Puerto Rico other than San Juan. So if you do go explore, I think next time I go out, I don't even want to stay in San Juan again.

[Tammy]

No.

[A.J. Holiday]

So it's a quick. It's a quick trip. Maybe, maybe not. I'm going to Barbados next. Bitch, I keep saying that, but that's my next trip soon.

[Tammy]

Your weekend was much more eventful than mine. All I did was, you know, it was a holiday weekend. Everybody was partying, so everybody wanted their hair done. So I was busy working Friday and Saturday. And then I just had some late night gym sessions. Like I went Friday night, I went to the gym at like 11:40 at night. And I was in there till like one in the morning. And it was this in there and he was like. But he looked like Mr. T. I swear to God, he looked like Mr. Tson. And he had a big ass hole in the back of his pants. And he have on no draws them.

[A.J. Holiday]

Definitely be free balling in the gym. Okay.

[Tammy]

His ass, sweaty ass. I could see his ass out the back. I was like scared.

[A.J. Holiday]

He might have had a thong on.

[Tammy]

He might have had on the thong. But I know, I see his black ass hanging out the back of his pants with a big hole. Like. I know you know that hole is in your ass.

[A.J. Holiday]

Why you ain't say something to him? You gotta look up for the brothers.

[Tammy]

He's got a big ass hole on his ass. Don't give a.

[A.J. Holiday]

How the hell can you work out that late and still go to sleep? I can't. My like, adrenaline would be running.

[Tammy]

I was tired. After I came back, I showered and I was lice out.

[A.J. Holiday]

I could do yoga and go to sleep.

[Tammy]

That's the latest I've ever gone. But I was just bored and I didn't. And the reason I ain't go party is because I was like, I got work tomorrow, so I don't want to get up, I don't want to party. But I'm also not ready to go to bed. So let me just get a Burn in. And that was it. Went to the gym Saturday. I went to a cookout. Went to cookout. It was a family function, so it was like grandma and them. It wasn't like. It wasn't no lit cookout. It was a very family oriented cookout. And then it was in a very rich community. And we got on her. All of them have like the little go. Not the go karts, the golf carts. Like, it seemed like that's just a prerequisite for this neighborhood. So we had our little drinks and we went out on the golf cart and we went to, like, the golf club in her community. And there was like a fireworks show. And I was just like, hi, neighbor. All the whites. Because it was no. Like the whites. Yeah, it was always. And then that was him. That was my weekend pretty much. Let's get in the sand.

[A.J. Holiday]

Let's do it. What we got going on, y'? All? So Diddy gets a standing ovation from his fellow inmates. I don't know if you guys heard, but. And we didn't touch on this last week because I think the news kind of came out after. Yeah, we had already did our episode. So. Sean Diddy Combs got a standing ovation from fellow inmate inmates when the music mogul returned to jail after being acquitted of sex trafficking and racketeering in his federal trial in New York. Providing that his lawyer says might have been the best thing he could have. He could do for incarcerated black men in America. So, you know, people don't really beat the feds, for real. And though he didn't get all the charges dropped because he definitely was convicted of. He's found guilty of transportation to engage in prostitution, but was acquitted on the most serious charges, which carried potential life in prison. Now, I've been saying from the beginning that since the trial started, Diddy was gonna get off because this literally like the, The. The prosecution, their whole was based off of, like, how y' all gonna prove a RICO charge? The defense was like, this is the lifestyle that all these adults were partaking in. So how can we charge this one man, you know, with. With a rico?

[Tammy]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

I think that Cassie probably. Probably. I never understood how Cassie got how much I have a 20, 30 million dollars out of him and then still end up testifying in a criminal case where I would think that she is probably a co defendant, you know what I'm saying? So she probably cooperated with the. With the US Government against Diddy, obviously. Right. And that's now why she. She's writing letters to. To the Law. I mean, to the judge, because she doesn't want him to get out. So Diddy could still possibly get time. Like, so. So he has time served. He got 10 months time served. That's not how long. That's how long he's been in prison to this point. But they haven't done any sentencing or anything like that on the. The few charges he was actually charged with. The biggest thing is out, right, they couldn't prove RICO in racketeering, which was always some bullshit as far as I'm concerned. I think the first thing they did was tear Diddy's camera room up at his house, because there's a lot of people on there probably more powerful than him, Right. That he could shed some light on their lifestyles.

[Tammy]

And I think that's what I was waiting for to come out. We never got much of that. Like, we heard a few names dropped, but it wasn't much. You know, it wasn't.

[A.J. Holiday]

You could tell by who was quiet, you know, because a lot of people be trying to talk about LeBron.

[Tammy]

It was real quiet, you know, So I don't know. I mean, I can appreciate a black man beating the system, which is rare, you know, but we did watch him beat that girl and drag her down the hallway. So it wasn't like a huge victory for me, you know, it was a victory for black men against the feds, I guess. But, I mean, I still. I ain't forgot dragging that little. That little woman.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. And even if she was a willing participant, we saw her, like, really physically trying to leave. And you restrained her, stumped her out. We saw that shit. Okay, so we. If we saw that you did that in a public hotel hallway, God knows what you've done. Like, I. I know there was another situation where he, like, came to her homegirl's house and dragged her up out of there, too. You know, maybe it was her home where her friend was staying at or something, but he came and did the same thing, essentially. Like, she. At some point, she couldn't just leave, right?

[Tammy]

Yeah. So then we also seen all members of day 26 crying. We still don't know what the fuck happened to them. But, yo, whatever it was.

[A.J. Holiday]

And not to mention all the people, all these male prostitutes now trying to Sue Cassie for STDs. So I saw an abortion somewhere. Like, she had an abortion for something. Like, dog, you were literally like, a object that Diddy thought he owned.

[Tammy]

That's crazy.

[A.J. Holiday]

She thought. In her. In her defense, right? This is her defense. She thought that they were In a relationship and this was some lifestyle shit. But I guess at some point she realized that Diddy didn't really love her. You know what I'm saying? It's just you're a thing and you're helping help feeding this thing in me, right? This super freak. She thought they were engaging in this stuff together. I guess I remember reading a transcript from her testimony saying that, you know, I guess it started to be like when they were done, he would just leave. Like there's no, like there's no other.

[Tammy]

Reason for you to be here.

[A.J. Holiday]

I know there's no like would you want him to cuddle with you after he just watch you get smashed by a another nigga? I'm confused.

[Tammy]

Craigslist.

[A.J. Holiday]

Random ass dicks.

[Tammy]

It was a man I saw on. I think it was on Gossip in the City and he was saying that how he was suing Cassie and he.

[A.J. Holiday]

Looked dark skinned guy with. Was with a lot of teeth in his mouth.

[Tammy]

His mouth, girl.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh my cha cha cha. I know. I. I mean I wonder how Mr. Fine feels watching all this, you know what I'm saying? But them others be into this type of. They're a little bit more forgiving. You know, they be doing wife swap and all type of. So it might be right up his alley. Like, I don't know, something about it might turn him on that all these men. I don't know.

[Tammy]

I hope so because it's wow. If it don't. All right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Shout out to Diddy. I don't know. Hopefully Diddy comes out and he can maybe. I don't know. I always. I never thought Diddy was a good person.

[Tammy]

Okay, well he's gonna have to come out and do something really great for humanity after this. You know, that's. That's what he should do is just do like something really huge for humanity, you know?

[A.J. Holiday]

Like what Tammy? Like you pageant. I would just.

[Tammy]

In world hungry.

[A.J. Holiday]

My girl Ain't gonna never be enough. It's never gonna be a enough of these. So the best Diddy could do is just. I don't know, maybe he need to go do some yoga. Maybe he should become a monk. He needs to your goddamn self start.

[Tammy]

Over house for former prostitutes or something like that where they could come in, live for free and get on their feet and get like therapy and something like that. Like create a housing environment for people who are broken in that way. I mean that would be like helpful.

[A.J. Holiday]

I would like to see more, more organizations that help men, that help abusers right before they even get there. Maybe, you know what I'm saying? Like, maybe it needs to be because I 1. This guy, no hair, he has a. An organization. It does a multi. Multiple things, but he, like, helps people who abuse people. Like, help them get help to where they're not violating people. So it needs to be maybe, maybe more people need to invest in those type of organizations. I don't know, you know, to try to. Try to proactively, you know, stop people.

[Tammy]

Right before it starts.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, remember that movie Minority Report? Have you ever watched that? Y' all go watch Minority Report. Because I feel like this is what this. This is where we're heading at right now, right? So it's like a. Them predicting somebody committing a crime and stopping them before they actually do it. Like, they already know your thoughts. You know, we putting all this shit into these AI based platforms, so they already know, like, who you are. They know your. Your mental. So, like, say for instance, this man gets home from work and he's like, I'm gonna kill my wife when I get home. The police is already there when you get home and you're going to jail for having a thought about killing that and you was really about to do it. So, yeah, Minority Report, that's a good movie. I think it came out like 2009. Anyway, what else we got going on, child?

[Tammy]

The city boys are up, so.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, yeah.

[Tammy]

A wild story straight out of Netflix. Out of a Netflix docu series just popped off. A man reportedly managed to juggle two wives, three fiance's, 15 girlfriends, and a partridge in a pear tree, and none of them knew about each other. How the. There is so many women.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right, that just proves men like headaches, huh? That just proves that men love headaches.

[Tammy]

Yeah. Cause how you. That's too many. That's too fast. Hold on, little mama. That's too fast. All right, so according to reports, the man whose identity hasn't been released yet for legal reasons, was living a multi city, multi love life, carefully crafting different names, job stories, and even separate social media lives to keep each relationship isolated. Some women thought he was a traveling businessman, some thought he worked night shift, and others were told he was a military contractor.

[A.J. Holiday]

Away from them for a year or two.

[Tammy]

Yeah, the deception was so elaborate that he apparently had different phones, rented apartments under aliases, and had a rotating schedule for visits and trips. All right, so it all came crashing down when two of the women accidentally connected through a mutual friend's post, did some investigating and discovered they were dating the same man. From there, it snow. Snowball More women came forward, some realizing they were engaged, while others were in exclusive relationships. Now the man is facing potential fraud charges, and all his romantic chaos is being pieced together like a true crime web. The wildest part, some of the women are allegedly considering forming a support group to warn others about men like him. The Internet is calling him the thanos of cheating.

[A.J. Holiday]

I mean, you know how I feel about, like, people finessing or like, I just. If you can be finessed, it probably should happen to you.

[Tammy]

How The.

[A.J. Holiday]

One of my homegirls, she said her ex said he had a gym in Charlotte. All those things, like, all these things he lied about. You cannot tell me that, nigga.

[Tammy]

Because when are we going to the gym in Charlotte?

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

When are we going? Like, I feel like they know who they can do these things to, right? They probably sat and talked to these women. He probably sat and talked to these women for a long time or maybe even in a DM setting. Like, he got to know them and he knew he could finesse them. Like this, cuz. Bitch, you cannot get over on me like that. I'm too nosy.

[Tammy]

They're just too good of a liar. Like, they believe their own lies. This man probably believed when he was with this woman, this is who he was.

[A.J. Holiday]

So he got split personality. So maybe he has an insanity case.

[Tammy]

Possibly he better get his lawyer to say he got split. I'm the from split and.

[A.J. Holiday]

Multiple personality disorder. Like, he was just a whole nother person always. He was like, why do you. I never understood, like, people who. Who tell, like, traceable lies. And I guess it wasn't traceable because I wonder how long, like, how long is the longest relationship? And who's he actually married to? I'm have to watch this on Netflix.

[Tammy]

To come out crazy.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's the type of I'd be interested in. For real. Like, I. I be wanting to understand people's psychology when they do. Like, let me get in your brain.

[Tammy]

You got enough dick for that many people.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, girl, he probably even got no dick. That's the thing. Like, be in love with the idea of people. Like, he probably just was feeding them an idea.

[Tammy]

He must have been real funny too. He gotta be good with the jokes. Fifteen. Three fiance and two wives. That's cool. That's insanity. Shame you can't keep up with that many.

[A.J. Holiday]

He got kids.

[Tammy]

But I can't wait for this to come out, y'. All.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right, y'. All. So multiple blog outlets, black blogs, okay. Have been reporting on Jonathan.

[Tammy]

Dupont Dupin.

[A.J. Holiday]

I think that's how you pronounce his last name Anyway, he's the voice behind a popular rich and unemployed podcast. Okay? So, according to reports, the FBI alleged raided his residence in connection to an alleged $10 million fraud investigation that has reportedly been quietly unfolding for years. The feds allegedly claim they've been tracking him for a while, monitoring transactions, bank accounts, and even content. Excuse me. And even content from his podcast. Let me stop saying certain on here, okay? While fans are still in disbelief, critics say the flashy lifestyle was a red flag from the start. And many are asking, was it really motivation or manipulation all along?

[Tammy]

Well, he said he was rich and unemployed, so period.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, how nigga show us now? I know he had, like, actual guests on his show that were scammers, okay? I. I came across plenty clips when niggas talking about CPNs and all these little, like, gray line, gray area, little business things, you know what I'm saying? Like, I can't stand. I wish black people would shut the fuck up about things sometime. Like, why are y' all on a major platform talking about these things that white folks have been doing forever, right? And we finally figure out the game even a little smidget, they gonna change the rules every time. The minute we get on to some, y' all gotta go on a whole platform. Half y' all not even doing oops, Half of y' all not even doing the things y' all just talking about it now and selling information, right? Scamming the next black person. This is why I don't like y' all fucking scammers. Cause y' all be scamming my ass. That's in proximity to you, right? Other black people. This was unknowingly a federal informant. Because I. I'm pretty sure if they're using his content from the podcast, I don't know if he gonna have the same defense, like, Young Thug with the rap songs and. But if they're using that content, he's definitely has had some criminals on that podcast.

[Tammy]

I liked him, though. So I hope.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I hope it be all right.

[Tammy]

Because the last time we saw him, last year at the podcast festival, he just had a baby, you know, so, you know, I hate that for him. Listen, I. I'm not a huge fan of scammers just because I. They used to piss me off in the club because they used to be, like, looking down on regular, everyday working people, you know, like, y' all can't afford this. Y' all can. Even though I'm also benefiting from the fruits of their labor. In this section, I still was like, stop acting like you better than the people who were actually work for their money. You're a thief, essentially, you know?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. I don't like thieves. You know what I'm saying? Like, and half them never have cash. All they have is cards. They're saying he did like unemployment scams. So I'm thinking like, ppp, you know, like the. The COVID shit probably is what he got caught up for. Somebody saw, somebody commented and said that this nigga. This nigga scammed the government and then literally opened up a pot. Scammed the government to open up a podcast. Unemployed, Rich and Unemployed or whatever the. The name of his show is. But yeah, I don't like the scammers because, you know. Yeah.

[Tammy]

So maybe he can have some type of defense. I don't know.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't know. You gotta. When somebody like, you ever got your identity stolen before?

[Tammy]

Mm.

[A.J. Holiday]

I've had like, people like use my. And then I have to like, cut it off. But like, to actually get your identity stolen.

[Tammy]

No, no, like, not like, not like that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. Now you really gotta prove it wasn't you.

[Tammy]

So you gotta prove it. Account had an email on there that I don't know who the that is and I wasn't able to change it. So I just close down the PayPal account because what is that? Who is this? You know.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know what I do think? I think some of these companies, the corporations itself, like a. A PayPal be trying to scam the users. I swear to God. Coinbase, right, the app where you buy your. When you go trade crypto and stuff. They tried to scam me, but I look for these type of things, right? They literally put an email address to. They put the email address there. I didn't. Right, like verify. Send the email to verify. And they had like an extra letter in my email address and when I clicked out of it, right, and went back into it, my correct email address was there. I didn't change anything. So had I had submit, right, Whatever.

[Tammy]

Verification code would have went to that other email address.

[A.J. Holiday]

And this is on their app. This is not on the web based nothing. This, this is on Coinbase. So I feel PayPal probably was trying to scam your ass and just then just make it look like a scammer took your account over. Right?

[Tammy]

See, I ain't gonna talk.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I'm. I'm. You scam the corporations. Don't be scamming people and. And lead a motherfucking federal government alone.

[Tammy]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. If y' all Gonna do some shit, lead them. Leave them people money alone, okay? Pay it back. Something you done made a couple YouTube checks, nigga, you should have been making some minimum payments at least. Now you, now you. This is why people need to stay off Internet, okay? Everybody is not balling on the Internet. In real life. It's a lot of people finessing, right?

[Tammy]

So don't be Atlanta. Atlanta, like, listen, I love y' all Atlanta. I love y' all Atlanta listeners. We're gonna come do a show for y' all real soon. But that place.

[A.J. Holiday]

And don't be using no goddamn fake debit cards. Buying on tickets.

[Tammy]

Buy no tickets.

[A.J. Holiday]

Charging back.

[Tammy]

Will be in a high rise apartment, all of them. But it'll be seven of them living in a two bedroom so they can stay in the highrise. What are y' all doing? Like this don't make sense.

[A.J. Holiday]

It doesn't. Renting cars. No car. Just renting cars. Paying astronomical. Like you could have three cars for the price you're paying for this one rental to look like you got money. We just got our priorities fucked up. It's just fucked up.

[Tammy]

I like recently when I was in New York and I went to this event and there was this fine guy that I met, he was really nice or whatever, but he had on a big ass fake chain. A big ass fake chain. Why you got that on? Take that off. That's gonna make your neck green. You don't need no chain. You look good, you're handsome. You're a handsome man.

[A.J. Holiday]

But he's probably insecure, right? So they put the chain on to make themselves feel secure. It's some niggas who can't lead a house without that chain.

[Tammy]

Listen, a big ass fake chain. I'm talking.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, I know you know I know that ain't real.

[Tammy]

My boy that flipped over and that metal was so rusty on the back.

[A.J. Holiday]

Now you could visually see that it wasn't real.

[Tammy]

That's up on the back side. Like the front still is blistering a little bit. But that when it flipped and you seen all that rust on the back.

[A.J. Holiday]

You go, that's sad.

[Tammy]

It's time to go back and get a new one, baby.

[A.J. Holiday]

Or something.

[Tammy]

I don't know. That look bad.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's like a bad bitch with some chewed up heels on. Like. Like a mouse been chewing on the bottom. Only. Only women can see it. Niggas be like, that's a bad bitch. Or ass fat. Whole time we looking at that heel, bitch. I know what your kitchen look like. That heel. I know what your microwave look like? Your bathroom is filthy because of that heel. I'm judging you just scrape fat ass though.

[Tammy]

Fat ass.

[A.J. Holiday]

What the we talking about this week man? Stop talking about these people.

[Tammy]

We're talking about having some dickin what's.

[A.J. Holiday]

That Do I want dixel? I've been having some dick someone bitch.

[Tammy]

Listen they don't know what it is but when we come back we're going to explain exactly what dicksipline is. We'll be right back.

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[A.J. Holiday]

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[Tammy]

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[A.J. Holiday]

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[Tammy]

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[Tammy]

There's something special about folks that come through without being asked. Like your co worker surprising you with your favorite coffee just because. Or your friend handing you the ox cord the moment you get in the car. No debate, no fight, just positive vibes.

[A.J. Holiday]

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[Tammy]

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[A.J. Holiday]

What's up, y'? All? Okay, so this week, we are talking about dick cipline.

[Tammy]

What is discipline?

[A.J. Holiday]

So some may think that it's, like, for men to have discipline over their dick, and it is. Right. But also for women having dicksipline not to get on the dick. Right. We trying to transfer that sexual energy into something else. Right. Some bitch, I don't know, write a movie, write a book.

[Tammy]

Paint something, do.

[A.J. Holiday]

Something a little bit more meaningful, join a gym. That part. Have you ever actually abstained from having sex? Like, for a long period of time? Like, intentionally, though? Because that's what discipline about. It's about intentionally. There are some bitches out here who can't get no dick. But if I mean intentionally abstaining from.

[Tammy]

Sex for a goal, yes, I have. I recently did that. So last year got my heart broken, and then I got my foot broken, and then, like, the rest of the year. And then up until recently, I just was abstaining completely. Like, not wanting to participate in any type of physical intimacy whatsoever, you know, and not because I hate dick or anything, because I love. I love men. I don't know if I love dick. I love men, and it's a part of them.

[A.J. Holiday]

But masculinity, I'm definitely in love with masculine. Okay.

[Tammy]

But, yeah, like, abstaining was the best choice for that time. Well, one who I ain't trying to fuck on a crutch. You know what I'm saying? Like, I had one foot for a couple months, and they'll still hit you. They would still hit you. Right? But I wasn't trying to do that. And then I just wasn't given. I just had to do some internal work, and that did not include somebody else. Sex, really. I was practicing, definitely practicing some discipline.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, on an earlier episode, we talked about, you know, how hoeing doesn't heal this year, so. Exactly. And we even got into, like, a little thing with a sister podcast.

[Tammy]

Was it. No, it was important.

[A.J. Holiday]

At the time.

[Tammy]

Decisions.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. You know, because they are younger than us. Right. And, you know, I can even see the difference now in Mandy and how she talks, some of the shows I've seen and how they talk, because hoeing doesn't heal. Like you could. You can be as sexually free as you want to be, child. Go ahead and do what the fuck you want to do. If that make you happy. But usually, you know, deep down inside there is a reason why you're doing these things.

[Tammy]

Yeah, right.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's not just because you. Do you really like sex that much? Now I know there's sex workers. Like, that's the only time I understand it, you know, because we talked about the difference between being a slut and being a hoe. I respect hoes. I don't know, the sluts is like you want sex that bad, you don't even want nothing.

[Tammy]

You respect hoes?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes, because it's a profession. Like they're getting paid. Like hoes are necessary. Hoes are absolutely necessary.

[Tammy]

What do you mean?

[A.J. Holiday]

It's good for the ecosystem.

[Tammy]

How?

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, I don't want to upset wives, but holes be saving marriages sometimes, you know? You know what I'm saying? Like, you just get a little dibble dab on the side. You could pay somebody to shut the up and you go back home, be happy and, and do all the husband for you, for your wife.

[Tammy]

I don't know.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I respect hoes. It's the sluts. I'd be like, girl, so you like sex that much, you're not doing it for financial gain. Like you just really just want to have sex with all these people. That's when I don't understand it. I'll never understand the psychology of just popping for free.

[Tammy]

I don't know if I respect any of it, but girl, I, I get it. If that's how you're doing it, if you're doing it to like earn money and it's for a living, I mean, I guess I don't respect it necessarily.

[A.J. Holiday]

I respect it, yeah, but it doesn't heal, right? So if you are in a deep, dark place and you trying to find some mental stability, some clarity, like dick. Well, not clarity. Out the window. Like you'll be diplomatized, right? So at some point, I guess most women, right, you'll get to a point to where you don't, you know, you, you start realizing like, man. And not some, all women. Because some women, they probably only have one partner their whole lives. I'm not one of those women. Right. Tammy definitely is not one of those women.

[Tammy]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute. For the mixed company, you run it out, okay?

[A.J. Holiday]

So I mean, you get to a point like man, what are you really having sex for? Because when, when was the. When was. How old were you when you had your first orgasm? You think like a real one from intercourse with a man?

[Tammy]

I think I was well into my 20s. Like late 20s, honestly?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. Okay. Like we probably was definitely off the vibrators. Okay. But I'm saying like from a, a man with warm skin and a snicker, like I probably was 30, you know what I'm saying? So it's almost like you fucking all that time for what?

[Tammy]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

For what? You're not even, you're not even feeling the thing that, that you're not even reaching your climax. Really? I might, you might feel a little tiny bit, but that shit is way more intense when you are actually just even having sex with intention.

[Tammy]

So I just want to put, I want to read to them what this definition of discipline is. So it says for women, discipline represents a powerful reclaiming of choice, energy and intention when it comes to sex, relationships and self worth.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right.

[Tammy]

That's beautiful.

[A.J. Holiday]

But some people will say that just because I'm having sex with all these people, that doesn't mean I don't value myself. I have a conversation with one of my siblings all the time and I told her like, if your esteem was, you know, healthier, you wouldn't let all these people have access to you. You'd feel too good about yourself to even be dealing with the type of people you'd be fucking with. And she let me know just recently that even if she were to get a couple M's today or tomorrow, like she's gonna take some of them dicks with her. And I'm like, you like sex that much, right? You really like sex.

[Tammy]

But some people do. Maybe. Some people do. I, I mean, I'm not one. Cause I, I like to have a connection, you know, in order to have sex with somebody. And that don't come easy. Yes. No pun intended.

[A.J. Holiday]

So yes, it's a conscious decision to be intentional about who you are sharing your body with. Right. And if you are trying to level up in life, I really feel like the, the first thing you got to do. Like if you are. Let's just for example, if you are a single woman, right? Single women be having sex just cuz you single, I mean you ain't. Okay. So if you are a single woman who's sexually active, try refocusing that, that energy.

[Tammy]

Yeah, you just got to have some dick sermon, you know, like sermon.

[A.J. Holiday]

Dick sermon.

[Tammy]

Yeah, you got to have some dick sermon. And like if you deciding to sleep with somebody, don't just do it all willy nilly cuz you having a good time. Because you know what? Also you are like absorbing energy.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly. So that's another part we definitely gonna get into. Because that's like the most important part. So when you are searching for mental clarity, you can't really get it when you have engaged with all these other energies, you know what I'm saying? Y' all got to do some yoni cleanses and some spiritual baths during the next full moon. I've sent a couple women on Instagram, like my little spiritual bath recipe, or y' all could come and I can.

[Tammy]

So wait, what's a yoni cleanse? Tell the people what a yoni cleanse is.

[A.J. Holiday]

So some. So they have like, you can do like the little steam. So a lot of the estheticians and stuff like that now they have like the little toilet you sit on. And they got all little pot. Herbs. Yeah, like. Like a netty pot for the coochie. They got all these herbs and. And all these different things. But, you know, those things could possibly. Physically. It could be doing something physically. But the thing is. And I. I don't know if that.

[Tammy]

Dude, I'm about to get like a little berries down.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, it is.

[Tammy]

But mentally, the way you release.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. These energies is through the mind. So if even if you're doing this thing and you think that it's. It's going to work, it's going to help, right? So it may not be physically doing something to the coochie. So if you smell some down there, go to doctors around. Don't be the yeast effects, putting them suppositories up there, trying to clear energies. No, you got an std, A sexually transmitted demon and disease, probably. Okay? Both you need to do the yoni cleanse and you need to go to the damn doctor.

[Tammy]

But go to the doctor first and foremost.

[A.J. Holiday]

So I think a lot of people, if you are wanting, like I said, if you try, if you're trying to level up, I think the first thing you should do is just start fasting from certain things and fasting from people.

[Tammy]

Absolutely.

[A.J. Holiday]

Sometimes is the best thing for you.

[Tammy]

And I think changing your diet too, like fasting in that way, like, you know, doing like a. What is it, 12, 16, 8 or something like that where you.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, like intermittent. Like intermittent fasting. Yeah, intermittent fasting.

[Tammy]

Changing your diet, exercise. Listen, while I was abstaining from sex, I incorporated exercise into my life. And that shit brought me so much joy. All right. So when you exercise, your body releases endorphins. Endorphins make the same thing. Yeah, and it just really changed my mood all the time. And now it's just like an integral part of my life. Like, I feel Like I gotta go to the gym because I want that like that dopamine, you know? So try that too.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. And I don't. I guess people shouldn't look at it as if like they're depriving themselves of sex. So that's why I'm saying you have to it when you, when you're practicing discipline. It really has nothing to do with punish. Yeah, it don't have nothing. It doesn't really have anything to do with anybody else. It's about. About you. Right. So that could possibly be one piece of it, but it's really about you. Right. So especially when you're trying to manifest. Like if you are not having sex and manifesting at the same time you having sex for no reason either. I be saying stuff while I'm having sex. All type of magic, what you be saying. I try to. You are supposed to. Like that's what the whole tantra and you know, that's the episode I also want to do. I want to have like a tantra. Coach on.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. So the female orgasm is like a mystery, right. And we do misuse it because you could use it to change the world if we collectively came so big orgy, but come with intention.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. Not just for his sexual gratitude. Yeah, Pleasure. Right. If we actually use the, the, the. The orgasm like it's meant to be used. Like the Egyptians knew what they were doing with that shit. They probably made the pyramids off of an orgasm and I should just start moving together, built a pyramid.

[Tammy]

Everybody rubbed by coochie at the same time. We go build a pyramid. It's crazy.

[A.J. Holiday]

Look what happens when you let men like these men. They just started a war with Iran. Like they. The male orgasm. I mean they come and they still go do stupid shit.

[Tammy]

I think, you know, as I love men, but do you think we would be warring the way we war on earth if men didn't exist?

[A.J. Holiday]

No. You know, and that's why I think a lot of men are. You know, that's a whole nother episode. But I'll get into it, right. For two seconds. That's why there's like a struggle with the masculine and feminine right now. Right? Because there was a time and I really don't think that the feminine isn't in play. Femininity, I believe the. I believe it is. Right. But I think also women have started to acquiesce to men and what they want and we've lost our place. Right. We've forgotten who we are because they. The book says that the man is the leader. Right? But they are destroying everything. They're destroying the earth, Literally. Man is destroying the earth, not women. You know what I'm saying? We give life, we don't take life. So if women were in charge, the reason why they say we can't be in charge is because we're not logical. Do you think firing a fucking missile on a whole bunch of innocent people is logical? No, it's not. That shit is hella demonic. And there's no. There's no. There's no soul or spirit involved with that type of shit.

[Tammy]

No.

[A.J. Holiday]

So women are definitely. Definitely connected to source a little bit more.

[Tammy]

And then I. You know, women, even in the music now, don't you feel like the women in music are, like, trying to be like men? They sound like men, the things they talking about. That's what I was saying about.

[A.J. Holiday]

They have acquiesced to the suggestions of men instead of standing in that feminine.

[Tammy]

You don't win when you try to be a man. I'm sorry. No shade to anybody. Like, I'm not talking about, like, transgender, transitioning or anything like that.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's a man. That is patriarchy.

[Tammy]

But, yeah, but what I'm talking about is, like, the women who are, like, talking about, like, just being whorish and, like, I switch niggas every day and n. Trying to get me pregnant, trying to trap me.

[A.J. Holiday]

And the Plan B songs, like, that's something to be proud of.

[Tammy]

Yeah, that shit is that you sent me was disgusting. Yeah, it's. It's scary. But then I also was thinking that. So I was. I posted a picture of my. I did. I finished 75 hard, y'.

[A.J. Holiday]

All.

[Tammy]

So I posted a picture, and I put some music in the background. It was some old. That I listened to as a young girl. And it was never scared by Bone Crusher. And then after I played, I liked it, and then I went back and listened to the lyrics. I'm outside of the club and you think I'm a punk. So I'm gonna go to my Chevy and open the trunk. Cause I ain't never scared. Cause I'm about to kill somebody. This is what we grew up, and now we're raising children. And now the music is just. Even is much more worse.

[A.J. Holiday]

So it just took a little bit more time. So we didn't understand as teenagers when our parents was like, turn that rap crap off. When there was legislation being passed or being challenged, like, by NWA in the courts, because they say it's a freedom of speech, but look where that freedom.

[Tammy]

Of speech has got us right.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, I'm saying super straight. So I think. And we talked about this before, like the movie Shy Chirac, where all the women sustained from having sex and it made the world better, right? That that's really what needs to happen. There would not be war right now.

[Tammy]

If everybody just took our pussies back and stopped fucking. I bet you would be a single bomb over. No bombs over back.

[A.J. Holiday]

Dag.

[Tammy]

No bombs over a place if everybody took their back. Yeah. I promise.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, but it's always gonna be these outliers, man. That's why we can't get men in line. Because then you always have. You do it to me. You do it to me.

[Tammy]

I be.

[A.J. Holiday]

I listen when I talk. I am talking from a super. Like, it may not seem like it, but I'm talking from a super source of femininity, right? Because we are not men. Hold on, hold on. Because you always. When I say things, I always say stuff like, well, the men, like you always got the total opposite. I'm a woman.

[Tammy]

Okay, so.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. I'm not trying to. I'm a woman as well, but I'm not trying to speak to the perspective of men because I understand as a woman. How we ended up here is because we started following man instead of standing in our femininity and being women. Right? Not a femininity is not weak.

[Tammy]

I understand that. However, I just have a different perspective. That does not make me not a woman or not in my feminine. No, no. I'm just responding to what you're saying. But you're saying I am a woman as if you're not speaking to a woman. You know, like.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so. So listen.

[Tammy]

No, no, no. Let me have a complete thought before you decide to interject.

[A.J. Holiday]

My thought wasn't finished, but go ahead.

[Tammy]

No, you. But you.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's how conversations go. You interject.

[Tammy]

Okay, now I'm interjecting then. Okay, so listen. I'm a woman as well now. I have a different perspective than you. And it doesn't mean that I acquiesce to what? The masculine energy. I just think objectively for everybody. I don't always just side with a woman because I am a woman. There are things that can be true with masculine energy and feminine energy, and I try to be objective to both. And that's what I do. I don't just say, oh, I'm a woman, and then that's it.

[A.J. Holiday]

So I feel like I'm the definition of duality. So I always try to see both sides of some things. But some things you gotta pick a side on. That's how I feel in life. Right. And right now, we are in devastation. We are in crisis.

[Tammy]

I agree.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. And I do believe it's because women do not practice discipline. Right. You are allowing a man to dictate your entire life. And it started with the music I'm talking about in the black community. It definitely started with the music, whole sluts and whatever. And then eventually we started making the, like the. The word. Right. So we supposedly took the power from it, by the way we use it. But it's still a very derogatory word. Right. So now you can call yourself a whole, like, young Miami said, I'm a. Or whatever. And, you know, and it's okay. Yeah. It's not okay, though. Right. Because we are women and we are the greater beings. And you might want to argue with that, like, oh, you just diminishing the men. No, we are not men. We give life.

[Tammy]

No, I know.

[A.J. Holiday]

This is men can't. That's the thing that men can't do. We are the greater beings. And if anybody feels any way about that, I mean, that's this. That's what the whole transgender movement is about. It's about men wanting to be women so bad because we the shit. So imagine a can say I'm you. Because I feel like it. Being a woman is not an aesthetic. Okay. Being a woman is highly spiritual. And I don't. I feel like men need church way more than women. I had a conversation with somebody yesterday, like, men need church and something to be afraid of way more than women.

[Tammy]

See, this is where I. I say we all need church, you know?

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay.

[Tammy]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

We all need church. Yeah.

[Tammy]

That's where I. This is where I come in to say and that.

[A.J. Holiday]

And that's fine. Right. But what I'm saying is women are connected. Weight connected to source. We are connected to source. We are the source. Right. And I'm not. And that's not to diminish what a man is. But men only learn through consequence. Right? This is why the bombing is going on. Right? Men don't. Men can't. I don't think. I don't. I don't believe that men can sit down and really have an amicable conversation. Amicable conversation about some shit and somebody not die. I mean, when they got a lot of people's lives at stake, it's always a dick throwing contest. This is why successful men are always surrounded by women, because women get shit done. Right? Kings are born. Everybody not a king. So if you got a bunch of kings around or a bunch of a bunch of court gestures running around here now telling a woman how to be a woman. You don't know how to be a woman.

[Tammy]

We don't. I get what you're saying, but you don't know how to be a man. You never be I don't want to be a man like you sit here. I don't want to or what man can do and what they not capable of and what their connection is to God. And you can't feel those things because you're not one, you know. So that's why I don't speak so like matter of factly about what a man is and what he can be and what his connection to God is. Because I can't feel it, you know. I can only feel my feminine energy, you know. So that's why I don't. That's when I'm in objection of what you're saying. It's just based on my perspective and my experience as I the first two.

[A.J. Holiday]

Months of 2025 have been quite a year.

[Tammy]

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[A.J. Holiday]

And with the Bose premium sound system.

[Tammy]

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[Voiceover]

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[A.J. Holiday]

Hey, fam.

[Carlos Miller]

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[A.J. Holiday]

There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going.

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[A.J. Holiday]

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[Tammy]

All right, so there was a time where the black family unit was healthy, you know, or healthier, I'll say that, because there were some issues that. That existed with the black family. But I think drugs played a part in tearing up the black family unit. You know, the crack epidemic of the 80s really hit us hard. You know, then. Then the music. Here comes the music that, that played a part and how we ended up divided. And then we sit back, I'm gonna be honest, we sit back and let shit happen to us. We let a lot of shit have slide. We deal. We just deal. You know, like I spoke about Risa and Ashy. It is. I wasn't gonna mention it, but I.

[A.J. Holiday]

Was looking at it real nigga shit.

[Tammy]

We sit back and we deal. We let shit happen to us. Like, like we said in the episode back, a couple episodes back, they're erasing our history. We ain't did shit. We ain't doing shit about it. You know, they're taking our. They're changing the names of bases. They're erasing our black leaders from history books and from the archives and the military. And we just let shit happen to us. We sit back and let the music be so dark and we support it. We just let it happen. And we just worry about our immediate family, worry about our kids, worry about that, and then just go on.

[A.J. Holiday]

So did a woman start gangsta rap?

[Tammy]

A woman mothered the man who started gangsta rap. A woman brought him into the earth.

[A.J. Holiday]

We.

[Tammy]

It is us.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, I always say that now it is us.

[Tammy]

It is us first.

[A.J. Holiday]

But this is also. That's. That's another reason why I just. I be focusing on. Because we do have to fix the things, right? But I don't. Like, I do have a problem with men sitting on podcasts talking shit about women, right? Because I understand we got to fix the things because we are the gods on the planet, right? But if you are not going to come with the leadership skills it takes to fix the thing, shut the up. Women have great grand ideas and really we just need men to exit. We need men to be the muscle. We need men. Like we're going to tell you what to do and you go out there and do it, right? So we got an army. I feel like the fucking gangs, like I said last week, the gangs is our army. So we actually wanted to change some shit. It's just the masculinity, like the energy needs to be refocused. I agree on the right thing.

[Tammy]

I agree.

[A.J. Holiday]

So they have to listen to us to do that, though. Listening to each other is how we got listening to them and them listening to each other is how we got to where we are.

[Tammy]

But we have to fix us. We have to fix us first, though. We have to fix us first. We have to fix us first. How are we gonna tell them what to do? And we out here, bits over in lingerie, twerking all around the city. We weren't always like that, but we are now.

[A.J. Holiday]

How did we get like that? That's what I'm saying. We were broke. We got broken by Our own men. And now we gotta fix everybody and everything. Even other races of people look to black women to fix it, because we are the gods.

[Tammy]

I agree. We are.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay? So when I talk about. I am. I am given direction. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to give niggas direction. And I understand it. Like, before we started recording, I said. I told Thomas, I said, maybe it's the way in which we say things. Right? I know my voice sounds like an authoritative figure. So, no, I can't talk super soft because that's not me. You know what I'm saying? And I also realize that a lot of motherfuckers only respect disrespectful. You know what I'm saying? A lot of people don't get it until it's too late. Right? So either I don't talk to you. Right. So there are going to be some people we just can't do this thing with.

[Tammy]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

And you just got to find the people you can to fix the. And hopefully it just trickles down.

[Tammy]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. I don't know. But hopefully it can. And we get in a whole nother episode because this is the whole. We're gonna have some men on to talk about this type of shit. Okay? So we don't got all off topic.

[Tammy]

I mean, that's how it always goes on a podcast. It starts somewhere and then ends somewhere else. But, I mean, this is a good conversation about, you know, where we are as a people and the things we could be better and the things we can do as women and the things y' all could do as men to be better, you know, I mean, we gonna have to work together, though. That's the. That's the most important thing. But it starts with us fixing ourselves, and it starts with some discipline. Stop fucking everybody. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Because when you have sex, they are corrupting the womb. Like, you literally take on the men's DNA that you have had sex with. So if you out here smashing raw, like, I like, too. That's why you gotta go without sex for some time. Like, you gotta go do therapy.

[Tammy]

You gotta just don't have raw. Listen, I've been saying since the first episode, right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Cause it ain't just about sexual.

[Tammy]

Have raw sex. Don't do it raw. It don't count if it's.

[A.J. Holiday]

If it ain't raw or not. That's another. That's another incentive for me not to have sex.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. So usually that I have never, like, intentionally sustained from sex. Abstained from sex.

[Tammy]

No it was never. But you have. I abstained. But it wasn't intentional.

[A.J. Holiday]

It was not intentional. Yeah, like, I just ain't fucking with nobody right now. But if I feel like it one day, it could change.

[Tammy]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

But to intentionally basically reroute that energy into something else, that's the goal now.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm going to put all my sexual energy into creating something make.

[Tammy]

Write your book, girl. Write your book.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, the thing is, is that when you're constantly learning, the reason why I haven't finished my book is because when you are in a constant state of learning, you become a hypocrite. How would I think today could change tomorrow based on some new information I might receive?

[Tammy]

So you know.

[A.J. Holiday]

I know, but I don't. I could just put some out in there and do a third volume, you know, I'm saying, oh, today, what already?

[Tammy]

Everybody doing? Anyways, today I feel like this.

[A.J. Holiday]

I know I told y' all this before, but today I feel like this. It could be.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't know. I just like. I like complete products and I don't. And when you live in. Nothing is ever complete.

[Tammy]

Right. So that's what I'm saying. It's never gonna be complete. Yeah, but Mike, listen, your book idea is really good. Write it, bitch. God damn.

[A.J. Holiday]

But the.

[Tammy]

Write it. Stop waiting on it to be perfect. It's not.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes, but my perspective on things changed a lot.

[Tammy]

So whatever perspective you have at the time, you use that one to write it.

[A.J. Holiday]

While I'm writing, my perspective could change in the whole book. Just turn into something different. Just.

[Tammy]

That's fine.

[A.J. Holiday]

Conversation.

[Tammy]

That's fine. That's fine.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm sweating because you thought I was saying you wasn't a woman.

[Tammy]

Yeah, cuz, you know, cuz two weeks ago you called me a man cuz I had on a sweatsuit.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, I ain't over that.

[Tammy]

I ain't over that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so me saying I'm a woman, that wasn't. Me calling you not a woman, though. I think it was just you. You.

[Tammy]

I think it's sometimes how you say things and not what you're also, though.

[A.J. Holiday]

But then that's what emotional intelligence. Intelligence is, right? Because you gotta know that. I'm not saying that.

[Tammy]

I gotta know.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's. That's what I'm saying.

[Tammy]

You gotta assume. I can assume that.

[A.J. Holiday]

But I would never think. When you. If you were to say. Because the woman that I am. I would never think you're saying that to say I'm not one. You see what I'm Saying. So I can't make you think how I think, and I can't think how you think.

[Tammy]

Exactly.

[A.J. Holiday]

But if I tell you, hey, that's not where I was going with that.

[Tammy]

Like, how I receive it after you say, that's not where I'm going.

[A.J. Holiday]

Why would you think that in the first.

[Tammy]

Because of your tone.

[A.J. Holiday]

My tone sounded like you a man.

[Tammy]

No, it was just the way you said, like, some of the. Some of the things.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, maybe it might be. I think it's about the outfit, girl.

[Tammy]

That too.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's about the outfit. Girl. She's so mad. Girl. I was so fucking playing. Okay, you cute with boy clothes on. I mean, it'd be some big boonky dice out here. Did you ever see that video on Instagram? The girl, she had a super fat ass, and she was like, these be on me.

[Tammy]

Oh, yeah. She was walking down the street.

[A.J. Holiday]

You have a shelf. It was. That was. That was a whole bunch of bunky on a dike.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I got a cousin like that.

[Tammy]

I'm. I don't know. I don't want us to get.

[A.J. Holiday]

What? Lesbian?

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

There on a lesbian?

[Tammy]

Yes. There we have it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so let us know, because we know. I seen some of y'. All. Y' all be in the DMs. What. What do. What do. No, matter of fact, I won't ask the public. I'll. I'll. In private ask. I have. Look, I got gay friends.

[Tammy]

Ask them. Is it okay? And just know that we don't mean any harm. Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Because we say punk where I'm from, with an oh.

[Tammy]

So just know that we are. We're born in the 80s. And some of the words that we have said may be politically incorrect right now. And we apologize in advance if you're offended by those things.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. I want a man with discipline. Right. I want a man that's so focused on our goals, like, he mad we ain't had sex in a month.

[Tammy]

Yikes. Good luck. Yikes. You want to pull Magnus.

[A.J. Holiday]

How you say it?

[Tammy]

No, I'm joking, y'.

[A.J. Holiday]

All.

[Tammy]

I'm joking. Okay, go ahead. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Because when I'm focused, I really don't.

[Tammy]

Be wanting a dick in the house, though.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. Like, and then also, you know, if I'm having to. To chase my dreams, work a job. Thank God I don't got no kids. Clean the fucking litter box.

[Tammy]

Like, workout.

[A.J. Holiday]

Also think about sucking dick.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

No. You know what I'm saying? That's why, like, the other episode about having a soft life, if you want your dick sucked Every day you need to be working, providing that soft life.

[Tammy]

Yeah. You gotta provide an environment. Yes.

[A.J. Holiday]

Head on demand. If I don't have to worry about anything else. But if I'm having to also worry about all the things, sex can get a little scarce. And then you start adding kids into there. Like, you really have to put sex on the calendar.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

As a single person, I got to put it on the calendar. So imagine what a kid in it. You really gotta be in love. Like, it don't matter.

[Tammy]

We get five minutes, stay in love.

[A.J. Holiday]

The hard part, in the shower, first thing in the morning. We gotta get it in at some point. But right now, like, I really, I'm cool. I'm cool. I'm cooling a dick. I've been cool in a dick for a while. Even in a relationship, I just want.

[Tammy]

Real connection, which is abuse.

[A.J. Holiday]

I know that's abuse.

[Tammy]

Yeah, that is abuse. That was very much abuse. I didn't never said it, but it was.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I said it.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's definitely abusive. But I mean, I, I. For women, sex starts in the mind, you know what I'm saying? I think it's more physical. Women, like, they can just have sex and they piss. Like, I gotta be happy to have sex.

[Tammy]

They can go on. I heard the guys are going on trips to like, Colombia or buying the coochie and.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, well, they want their wife from over there too. Girl, the passport bros. And just having.

[Tammy]

Sex like, you know, with stranger for a couple dollars and come home.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't know if my nigga go to the Dominican Republic on no boys. I don't know, boys trips. Like, you know, they'd like to think that we just be eating coochie on girls trips. Or really we just be talking about y' all ass and eating lobster and tannin.

[Tammy]

I've never ate a coochie on a trip.

[A.J. Holiday]

Me either. But I'm saying the men think that. Oh, yeah, but we know y' all be buying pussy on the trips. Like y' all go to these countries and in little groups to buy. Some of y' all be in Thailand buying.

[Tammy]

What's your last name?

[A.J. Holiday]

Buying them little lady men. You still be having to say. And then you do that. I'd be forgetting.

[Tammy]

Listen, you need to find a way to say it in the 40 minutes that we got.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't got no last last. I don't know. I'm on my last last. Okay. This is my last last y'.

[Tammy]

All.

[A.J. Holiday]

I feel like I'm on my last relationship in life.

[Tammy]

No, don't say that. I swear to God in the name of Jesus, don't rebuke.

[A.J. Holiday]

Rebuke it for me. Like, you don't be comfortable by yourself.

[Tammy]

No, I mean, I enjoy my own company. Yes, but I want a partner. I want that for you, too. I want that for you, too, because you want a family, right?

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't know, man. Look, like I said yesterday, I did today.

[Tammy]

Well, I rebuke it today.

[A.J. Holiday]

Thank you. Okay, what's your last? Last? You got one.

[Tammy]

Keep your regrets to a minimum. That's always the answer. Keep your regrets to a minimum and just, you know, don't add bodies. Watch. You know what? Oh, maybe we can do experiment. No more sheets.

[A.J. Holiday]

Maybe we can do, like, a contest. Like a contest? Like a celibacy contest.

[Tammy]

They gonna lie. How we gonna clock that's how we gonna confess now?

[A.J. Holiday]

Cause y' all bitches gotta have a dick, right?

[Tammy]

Yeah, we can't clock that. Coochies and no, man. Celibacy.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's an honesty policy. Like, you should know that I'm a witch, and I'm gonna know if you've been fucking or not through your Instagram account.

[Tammy]

That don't work. That don't work. You know, but I mean, just practice some discipline, you know, men and women, so you can find the best partner. And then, like, when you wait and you meet that right somebody, it be that much better, right? So wait. Just wait, you know, wait for it to be right. Don't just be out here all willy nilly, sharing your DNA. And watch. No more sheets. I can't remember the pastor. There's a female pastor. This is old, from the 90s. And she had tied all these sheets around her body, and she was, like, dragging them across the stage. And she was heavy because all these.

[A.J. Holiday]

Sheets, all these bodies she done had.

[Tammy]

Yeah, all the sheets was connected to her. Yeah. And then she was, like, releasing the sheets, and it was so powerful. So when you get a chance, y' all watch that no more.

[A.J. Holiday]

Wait, is that like a. Is like a real.

[Tammy]

It's a sermon.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, okay.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Who does it?

[Tammy]

I can't remember her name. It's a black female pastor, but I can't remember her name right now, but I'll put it in the comments when I. When we post this so y' all can find her interesting. Yep.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right, y'.

[Tammy]

All.

[A.J. Holiday]

No more sheets.

[Tammy]

All right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Hey, all. If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect. I have already. Wherever the you get your podcast, that is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram. Tammy always be rushing me. Yeah, I'm saying I be wanting to think.

[Tammy]

Listen I love y' all so much. Y' all remember speak now and hold your and Diggs Peace.

[A.J. Holiday]

Bye Bye. We Talk Fact Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or.

[Tammy]

Wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Voiceover]

First came the chicken wars. Now it's the rap battle that's got the Internet talking. Popeyes already dropped their signature chicken wraps and now you can try one free with a $5 order. Just use the code Popeyes Rap Battle in the popeyes app until July 13th. It's real chicken hand breaded, LA seasoned with that signature shatter crunch. Not that freezer to fryer stuff. This is how rap should taste. Let the food do the talking. You be the judge. Terms apply. See popeyes.com offer terms for details.

[Tammy]

Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Building a career? Is it just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Find out [e-mail] meetings, deadlines, emails, millions of notifications. Don't you wish you could expect escape the chaos? Fortunately, that's where the all new Nissan Murano comes in. And with available features like the relaxing massaging seats and the beautiful skyline views that bring in natural light, it's like cruising in your own personal Oasis. And if you need to set a vibe, 64 colors of personalized lighting and a Bose premium sound system have you covered.

[A.J. Holiday]

Hands down.

[Tammy]

The all new Nissan Murano is your stress free getaway because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today. Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather appointed seats are optional features every business has an ambition. PayPal open is the platform designed to help you grow into yours with business loans so you can expand and access to hundreds of millions of PayPal customers worldwide. And your customers can pay all the ways they want with PayPal, Venmo pay later and all major cards so you can focus on scaling up when it's time to get growing. There's one platform for all business PayPal open grow today at paypalopen.com loans subject to approval in available locations.

[A.J. Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast.