Make A List, Checking It Twice

Summary

Podcast Summary
We Talk Back — "Make A List, Checking It Twice"
Hosts: AJ Holiday & Tam Bam
Date: December 11, 2025
Podcast Network: The Black Effect & iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on helping women "audit" the men in their lives as cuffing season winds down, with Tam Bam and AJ Holiday offering their signature unfiltered, funny, and real talk about qualifying men in relationships. Through lively stories, comedic banter, and candid perspectives, they give listeners a practical checklist to assess the emotional, financial, and energetic value men bring, when and how to exit relationships, and the power of self-worth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: Weekend Stories & Travel Fun

• AJ shares family pride over her nephew's football championship and college plans (03:19-04:27)
  • "My nephew graduated high school early … I'm so excited for him." — AJ (03:19)
  • Describes meditation time in the car, mother-daughter dynamics, and fasting updates.
• Tam Bam recounts a quick trip to Houston just for the food and fun (05:50-09:56)
  • "We was in the airport, getting drunk at the bar, taking shots at the bar in the airport. 10 o'clock in the morning!" — Tam Bam (06:23)
  • Enjoys caviar, wagyu steak, Seaside lounge with confetti, free pizza, glow sticks & lots of tequila.

2. Hot Takes on Trending Culture

• Discussion about Saudi Arabia partially lifting their alcohol ban for high-earning foreigners (10:50-13:43)
  • “If you ain't got no earning … what you drinking for? What are you celebrating, my guy?” — AJ (11:52)
  • They joke about tying alcohol sales to income in the U.S.
• Gunna's Run Club in Atlanta: Celebrating celebrities promoting healthy habits and glow-ups (13:43-18:28)
  • “All the fine [men] with no shirts on be out there.” — Tam Bam (14:44)
  • Commentary on how weight loss changes public image, referencing Gucci Mane & Gunna.

3. Social Media and Celeb Drama

• Ja Rule vs. 50 Cent: Diddy documentary drama & "snitching" on social media (18:46-22:23)
  • “50 Cent been demolishing [Ja Rule] for life.” — Tam Bam (20:04)
  • The hypocrisy of public call-outs — “You’re now snitching on 50 Cent to justify calling 50 a snitch.” — AJ (21:30)
• TV Talk: Stranger Things, American Horror Story, and Welcome to Derry—musings on dark series and representation (22:27-23:37)
• "Why are you a life coach? It’s our first time on Earth." (23:46-24:43)

4. The BBL Era & Natural Bodies

• Reflections on plastic surgery trends and body image, with both critique and non-judgment (25:27-27:41)
  • “I know that got the first batch of BBLs be mad when they see with the BBL Pro Max.” — Tam Bam (25:42)
  • “I don’t want to body shame anybody ... but there’s no graduation [from thigh to ass].” — Tam Bam (26:48)

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5. Main Segment: Auditing the Men in Your Life

(Tam Bam: “This is the last conversation on these men for the rest of the year.” — 27:46)

The Grown Woman Checklist: Qualifying Before Giving Access (32:26-41:46)

• Emotional stability (Peace vs. Chaos):
  • “A lot of [men] don’t have peace. They not peaceful, right?” — AJ (32:44)
  • Don’t act as a therapist to your partner’s unresolved traumas.
  • “Go get help.” — AJ (35:08)
• Effort and Consistency:
  • “Texting is not talking to me…You cannot get to know anybody via text message.” — AJ (42:16)
  • "Don’t 'wyd' me to death." — Tam Bam (41:46)
• Financial Responsibility:
  • “It’s not gold digger, right? I'm not fucking with somebody who does not have the means to help me if I need it.” — AJ (38:00)
• Boundary Respect:
  • "The first person who has to respect your boundaries is you." — Tam Bam (40:30)
  • Men want boundaries and will enforce theirs without hesitation.
• Effort needs to go both ways:
  • “Everybody wants reciprocation. Buy that [man] a trinket too.” — AJ (44:23)
  • Cute gift ideas: coupon books, FaceTime Lego builds, surprise cards (44:42-46:35).

Practical Grading Scale for Your Roster (51:16-54:47)

• A — Elite: All boxes checked (energy, stability, consistency, ambition)
• B — Grown but Not Aligned: Good but not a forever fit, or missing key elements
• C — Seasonal: Short-term fun, not long-term material
• D — Draining: Emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, makes you feel older/worse
• F — Remove from Roster: Disrespectful, chaotic, low emotional intelligence

“If you look five years older in the mirror, somebody’s stealing your damn energy.” — AJ (57:25)

Signs to Remove Someone:

• Unclear intentions, poor hygiene, negative impact on body or mood, inconsistent communication (63:01-66:52)
  • “If your coochie [is] itching every time you have sex with somebody, get away from that man.” — Tam Bam (63:53)
  • Eliminate men who make you feel like their mother. (67:10)

Grown Woman Questions to Ask Yourself (70:42–73:42)

• Do I feel emotionally safe?
• Am I chasing, managing, or mothering him?
• Does he nourish or deplete me?
• Do his words match his actions?
• Is he disciplined?
• Does he bring out my best self?

"Relationships should not be that hard... everything in your life should get better." — AJ (79:23)

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6. The Exit Strategy — How (and When) to Leave

(75:14-79:23)

• “Leave quietly... there’s no explaining. They know why you’re leaving.” — AJ (75:40)
• Announcements mean you’re not ready; action means you are.
• Men learn from consequences; don’t over-explain when it’s over.
• “Keep it clean and firm. This isn’t aligned for me anymore. I wish you the best. That’s it, that’s all.” — Tam Bam (78:27)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Boundaries: “Only people who mind boundaries are habitual line steppers — get them the fuck up out your life.” — AJ (41:18)
• On Reciprocity: “If you never had a woman do something nice for you, then that dick ain’t hittin’.” — AJ (44:23)
• On Depletion: “If you looking five years older, somebody’s stealing your damn energy." — AJ (57:25)
• On Ending Relationships: “Leave quietly… You don't have to make a big announcement because half the time you done told him a thousand times at this point.” — AJ (76:13)
• On Relationships: “Relationships are not as hard as people make it out to be… It's just two people considering each other.” — AJ (72:00)
• On Transformation: “I’ve been a dumb bitch a lot of times in life and relationship and it's okay. We're all here for the first time.” — Tam Bam (81:37)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:19 — AJ’s family & football story
• 05:50 — Tam Bam’s Houston food adventure
• 10:50 — Saudi alcohol ban discussion
• 13:43 — Gunna’s Run Club/glow-up chat
• 18:46 — Ja Rule/50 Cent/Diddy doc controversy
• 25:27 — BBL body image musings
• 27:46 — Transition to “audit the men in your life”
• 32:26 — Main checklist begins
• 51:16 — Relationship grading scale explained
• 75:14 — Exit strategy “grown woman style”
• 81:37 — Wrapping up the episode/philosophy on self-growth

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Tone & Energy

Authentic, bold, playful, judgment-free, and forthright. The hosts intertwine hard truths, humor, and the wisdom of experience; never preachy but always pushing growth and real talk. They acknowledge their own mistakes and encourage listeners to honor their worth and intuition.

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Summary

"Make A List, Checking It Twice" delivers actionable guidance with comedic flair, empowering women to demand more from the men in their orbit by setting standards, recognizing red flags, and moving boldly when it’s time to let go. Through stories, laughs, and real-life lessons, AJ and Tam Bam remind listeners: be kind to yourself, stick to your boundaries, and don’t stay with someone who makes you question your peace. If you're happy, stay. If you're not, go — immediately.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Back Podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'?

[Tam Bam]

All?

[AJ Holiday]

It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'. All. Y' all know what the going on. I love y'. All. Once again, y' all back. Thank y' all for coming back. Aj, what'd you do this weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

Right into it.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, what'd you do?

[AJ Holiday]

My nephew is graduated from high school early and he graduated college in January. Okay. So he had his last high school football game shout out to the Stallions. South point. Rock Hill, South Carolina.

Won their 4A championship against, I think it was Florence. They were playing 35 the 14. And my nephew was in the game the whole time. Defense lineman. Okay. And the game actually was at South Carolina State, which is also going to be his new alma mater. So I am super excited.

[Tam Bam]

Congratulations to him, coaches and.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, he got a full ride. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

How old is he going to college? 18. Oh, I thought you said early October.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, so he. He just turned 18 in October, so he's, you know, you can't do the ceremony until May, but he's done with high school and he's starting state in January. And I'm so happy for him. I don't know what it is about, like, the difference between boys and girls. I love my nieces so much, but it's just like the boys. It's like, oh, Miles, little boy, he's a big ass nigga, but he's such a sweet boy, man. I'm so excited for him.

[Tam Bam]

Congratulations.

[AJ Holiday]

Life. Yeah. So we sat out there, the family sat out there in the rain. Child, I was with my mama the whole day. And I had already anticipated, like, just all this talking, you know, sometimes when I ride, I like to ride without music, nothing. I'm just quiet. Like in the car. Is meditation time sometimes for me. Boy, I had to talk the whole time. I thought I could fucking talk, boy. My mama, she just be going off about everything. I love my mama so much. So we was hanging out and.

Yeah, it was a good weekend. And then Sunday, I just tried to catch up on my week. I really don't feel like I had a weekend, so. But that was it, though. We just did the things, the family stuff on Saturday and then Sunday, I barely was alive. I went grocery shopping. And y', all, I have been fasting every other day since December 1st. So I went grocery shopping, but I'm like, damn. On the days where I'm actually eating now, I'm, like, trying to eat the groceries as fast as I can. Like fruits and vegetables and. Because they go fast. So they go.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Which I'm not complaining about because that means, like, you got real food, right.

[Tam Bam]

Actually spoils it, fires. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

But I'm tired by avocados and not eating them. And they. By the time I touch them, it's wrong.

[Tam Bam]

Put them in a shake, in a way. A shake.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, right. I do that to my bananas. Because the bananas go bad so fast, too.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you can throw them in there. What I do this weekend, Friday and Saturday, I worked. And then Sunday, I got up to catch a flight to Houston to eat. To eat. Like, literally to eat. No, it's. No, it was me. Me. That was a plan. We was going to go to, like, a day party, go to dinner, go to another party, fly back the next day. But our flight kept getting delayed. We were supposed to leave at 10am but we'd end up not leaving Charlotte till 1:45.

So we was in the airport, getting drunk at the bar, taking shots at the bar in the airport. 10 o' clock in the morning. So by the time we got to Houston, we was already feeling good. We end up landing there. It was like 4 o'. Clock. Went straight to the hotel, changed. Went to dinner at 6:30. No, 7 o'. Clock. Went to dinner at Maestros. Maestros. I don't know how to pronounce it. It was so good. We did our little caviar bump. How you do you like caviar?

[AJ Holiday]

Dude, man, but it's so expensive.

[Tam Bam]

It's so high. It's so expensive. I like caviar, but they served it with, like, these little mini. Little tiny pancakes. Oh, my God, it was so good. And it was like they had, like, eggs and I don't know if that was sour cream or some type of cream. And like, all these different pairings to go with the caviar. It was so good. Oh, my God, it was so good, but it was high. And then I got me a wagyu steak. I spent some money on that piece of meat, y'. All. But when I tell you that.

[AJ Holiday]

How many ounces you got?

[Tam Bam]

How much was it?

[AJ Holiday]

An ounce, too? $40 an ounce?

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. It was high. It was like. The steak was like the piece of meat by itself was like $130. But I said, fuck it. I flew out here to eat. I'm gonna eat what I want. Had me a steak. And then we went to Seaside in Houston, which is a outdoor. Well, they have it inside, but most of the people are outdoor on the roof. And, you know, auntie me, I'm, like, mad because I don't want to go. I did not want to go. I was telling them, like, after dinner, I'm going to bed. Y' all can go to the club. I don't want to go to. I'm not no clubby girl no more. I like elevated.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know when the last time I've been to the club.

[Tam Bam]

More elevated experiences. But anyway, so we. We went. They were like, we're just here to.

[AJ Holiday]

Elevated experiences. AKA food and sleep and good lots money, right?

[Tam Bam]

In education or wisdom or something. I can learn from you. Where. Where are we going? I don't want to just stand on couches no more. I'm past that stage. But anyway, we went. And it was cold as outside, right? But they had the heaters in every section, so that made it a little better. But I was still sitting there, like, with the stank face. But they made it so fun, Y', all. Like, Seaside is all right with me because they had me in there singing and having a good time.

[AJ Holiday]

They.

[Tam Bam]

They brought, like, those confetti, the big ones, right? The big confetti. They brought two to every section. So it was like a hundred of these things on the. The patio. And they played a song, and it was like, you gotta wait. Wait till the countdown. And they did a countdown and we hit that confetti. When I tell you the whole. I mean, you couldn't even see. It was so much confetti.

[AJ Holiday]

It sound, like, good for New Year's.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it was so much fun. It was so much fun. Then they brought two pizzas to every section. I ain't never seen a club bring, like, they came out hauling pieces like.

[AJ Holiday]

Who do this for y'?

[Tam Bam]

All? Who do this for y'?

[AJ Holiday]

All?

[Tam Bam]

And then they just had it, like, yes, right? They just made. I just finished eating 130 steak, and.

[AJ Holiday]

I was like, give me a slice of pizza.

[Tam Bam]

It's free. And they just, like. They brought, like, glow sticks out. They just made it really, really fun. So shout out to Seaside for making it a good time. And then we flew back the next morning, the very next morning. So it was just a real quick turn and burn. And then I slept all day the next Day. Cuz I swear I must have took like between 10 o' clock that morning and 2 in the morning when we got in. I probably took about 17 shots.

[AJ Holiday]

God damn.

[Tam Bam]

I know.

That's a lot.

[AJ Holiday]

Were you like how. How what you was drinking? What type of tequila?

[Tam Bam]

Every type. I had every type.

[AJ Holiday]

With the chest mouth.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Exactly. I wouldn't be surprised if I got a cup of curlies between the two of them because there was a lot. But that was my weekend. It was fun.

[AJ Holiday]

No, that sounds super lit. Okay. I wanted to do a turn and burn to go to Erykah Badu, but I went to my nephew's game instead. I gotta catch her in concert, man. I think like the last it might be over. I don't know. But I feel like maybe she has some dates overseas I was gonna see. But I want to see Erica perform.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I would love to see her. Didn't she. She dropped something new with Alchemist. Right? Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

That's dope. It's good in the scene.

[AJ Holiday]

What we got going on? So I saw this article talking about Saudi Arabia. So apparently Saudi Arabia erases alcohol ban. I didn't know they had one. But they are now allowing high earning non Muslim residents to legally buy alcohol. So it says non Muslim foreigners in the country who earn at least 50,000 Saudi rivals Ryals whatever per month. That's about 13, 300 US dollars can now purchase alcohol at the country's only official alcohol shop. And I guess it's rider the city name. This marks the second recent change. Just days before this the shop had already begun selling to premium visa holders a select group of foreigners who pay a fee and meet certain requirements. I feel like we need some like that over here because most of the alcoholics don't got no goddamn job.

[Tam Bam]

Right? If you can't. If you ain't got no earning. If you're not earning no money, you can't. What you drinking for?

[AJ Holiday]

What are you celebrating? I always feel like that about sex and alcohol and drugs. What the fuck are y' all celebrating? Life is not lit like I feel like. I feel like until you get your life together, you don't got no time to chill. What are you. What you celebrating, my guy? I mean life living. But you fucking up your liver at the same time. We definitely need some laws like that in America. Okay, I agree.

[Tam Bam]

Just imagine like how niggas would be killing each other just to get a drink. Killing the nigga who go to work so he can get his alcohol.

[AJ Holiday]

No. Or I mean if we cut Their damn heads off, right? What?

[Tam Bam]

See how I got it go. It go too far real quick.

[AJ Holiday]

I wonder what the penalty is if you are caught making $12,000 a year in drinking alcohol. Like, what is the penalty? Are you going to jail getting your head cut off? Like, what is happening in Saudi Arabia? I would like to know. Because I feel like it needs to be implemented in America.

[Tam Bam]

Right, but is it only foreigners? Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I guess non Muslim. So I don't think. I mean, everybody Muslims.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

[AJ Holiday]

But that's even weird though too, right? So if you are Muslim, you still can't drink alcohol, which I don't think is a bad thing. So what would that. What would that be then? That they just. Okay, Leah, let. Let them get drunk. Yeah, go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

I guess, like, if y'. All. We want like people to move here.

People with money. If y' all move here. We don't want no broke people to move here. We want people with money to move here. So we have to offer some incentive.

[AJ Holiday]

Ah, they trying to boost their gdp. Yeah, by selling liquor.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

To the foreigners. To the stupid foreigners. Right, Got it.

[Tam Bam]

The only reason they talk to some white man, the only reason I won't buy any property there is I can't have a fucking drink, man. Like, let's fix that. That's really Sunday. So I saw this. So Atlanta came out in the masses. A huge crowd. Shut down. Gunners want to run club at Pont City Market. And the line was huge. I don't know if y' all saw it. People were wrapped around the building. And he started a run club. So niggas is running. And it's a bunch of us out there. And I love that. Have you ever so much. Have you ever been to like, Charlotte has a huge run club? What's it called?

[AJ Holiday]

You ever did it?

[Tam Bam]

No. And it always. Because I'm never off working. Time is. They would run on Tuesdays and Saturdays. And it'd be Tuesday at 6:30. I don't get off till 7:30, 8:00 clock on Tuesdays. And then Saturday in the afternoon, I'm at work. So I've never made it to run club. But I wanted to go so bad. Because all the fine with no shirts on be out there.

[AJ Holiday]

I gotta practice by myself first. Cause I don't wanna be at the end of the fucking line.

[Tam Bam]

A lot of people are walking. No, because there's so many people walking. Everybody's not running. So it's like moms with strollers, kids, you know, so you won't be at the end, you be in the bag. But maybe that the end as long as you faster than somebody.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, we got the bridge run here in Charleston. I've only done that shit one time and all my friends are doing it next year. And I'm like, man, the one time I did it, I was like really, really in shape. I did it with my mom many years ago. But.

My fucking legs would be noodles on that goddamn bridge.

[Tam Bam]

Some people don't even actually do the run. They just walk. Come to the club. No, they just come to where they meet and then wait for them to return to the meeting spot because it turns into a party. They be dancing and stuff like that. It's no drinks or nothing like that, but just vibes, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Just a little hangout.

[Tam Bam]

Yep. So that's good. Gunna. Gunna has completely changed everything I seen.

[AJ Holiday]

On L. Duval page on Instagram, he was like, who? Who's a celebrity? That.

[Tam Bam]

He glowed up, had the best glow, was ugly as fuck before and now they fine, right?

[AJ Holiday]

And I saw somebody commented and said Gucci mane and gunna. I don't know that gunna was ugly ever, right? He just is a little chunky. But you know what, Losing weight will definitely change your face structure. So now he look a little chiseled in the face, him and Gucci mane. I can't, I won't say I think Gucci mane, them teeth be throwing me off with him. But he is definitely more handsome than he was.

[Tam Bam]

Would that be stomach?

[AJ Holiday]

Because eel. Okay. I remember going to a Gucci mane concert I don't know how long ago in Atlanta when he got out of jail the first time and he couldn't even move around. Girl, he was standing in one spot.

[Tam Bam]

Just fat as hell.

[AJ Holiday]

Just fat.

[Tam Bam]

That big ass belly on roll. Ton. Yeah. It's so like in his defense, it's so easy to get fat. It's so hard to lose.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, maybe if I write it down like, okay, this week I' ma lose 5 pounds and each pound I lose, I scratch it out. Like, I don't know how. Like, I know I can do it, but what I. Okay, so since the first, I have lost like five pounds, which is water weight probably right? But man, I can't eat a day to lose the weight, to lose those pounds. I literally had to skip a whole.

[Tam Bam]

Day, even a meal, a whole day of food.

[AJ Holiday]

My bowel movement is different. I got better bowel movements.

[Tam Bam]

That's good.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So that, that really is like your gut is where all diseases and all that shit started anyway, right?

[Tam Bam]

I think I shit too much. So I don't know if it's like, is that normal? Like, the doctor said it's normal how much I go to the bathroom. But how am I.

[AJ Holiday]

You're supposed to go after every meal.

[Tam Bam]

I do.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't.

[Tam Bam]

I. Like, I wake up in the morning and like 15 to 20 minutes after waking up, I gotta go every morning.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, I usually use the bathroom in the morning, but then, like now, like, I have to consciously think, like, damn, did I use the bath, like, in the evening? Like, did I use the bathroom tonight? Like, usually it's just once in the morning.

[Tam Bam]

A lot of times, no. All day. All day. Like we'd be. Yeah, full of it. Full of it. And not how I'm like, shitting this much and still don't fat. That's the problem. Like, I feel like I should be. I should be skinny. But you know what? It's not even losing weight is not hard. It's keeping weight off. So shout out to Gunna because he.

[AJ Holiday]

Looks great and he got.

[Tam Bam]

I know. And he got them coming out in the winter time. So that's even better because Run Club gets scarce in the winter. It's the spring and summer when people actually care. Wintertime, they be eating pastries and soups and getting all fat and sassy like that lady said, right?

[AJ Holiday]

So I saw. So Ja Rule had an exchange with somebody on X. You know, he has some choice words to say about 50 cent in his Netflix documentary on P. Diddy, because he had some, Some. Some videos, like behind his, I guess, behind the scenes. But apparently like 50 Cent, not 50 Cent. Diddy has been having somebody, like, walk around with a camera with him, you know, for the last year. So somehow 50 Cent obtained some of this content.

[Tam Bam]

So what I. What I heard or what I saw now this is allegedly that Diddy did not pay the videographer because of the outcome of the case. He didn't pay the videographer the footage.

[AJ Holiday]

And 50 acquired it. Yeah, yeah. How you not pay them? Like you had somebody with you 24 hours a day and then decide not to pay them because you got to pay Cassie and you got to pay lawyers and you going to jail. You can't do that. So, like, and at this point, that person owns that content. Actually, whenever somebody records or take pictures of somebody, they already own a content unless you sign something releasing it.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

So 50 Cent basically acquires some of this content for this, for this documentary. And Ja Rule, I don't even know why he Picking it. Picking a fight with 50 Cent. 50 Cent been demolishing for life.

[Tam Bam]

For life forever. Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Killed your career. I love Ja Rule though. But so anyway, I guess he wanted with 50 cents and ja rule tweeted that he's not condoning Diddy's behavior. He's just showcasing human. Excuse me, Herman's character. Who's Herman is 50 Cent's real name. Herman thought it was Curtis Jackson, so he calls him Herman. I guess he says Herman's no different. Allegedly 50 Cent, real name Curtis Jackson has been involved in at least one well documented domestic violence incident in 2013. He was accused of kicking his ex girlfriend and the mother of his son, model Daphne Joy, also known as Daphne Narvaz or something in the stomach after. In the stomach during an argument at her Los Angeles condominium. As well as destroying approximately 7. Basically he airing 50 cent out on some that he allegedly did to Daphne Joy and settled out of court on. Right. His whole thing is like, why are you snitching on Diddy? Like, yeah, I don't condone what Diddy did, but why are you? And I kind of said the same shit a couple weeks ago, right? Like when 50 Cent put out that, that tweet about, about the documentary, I was like, I mean, I guess the streets is dead, so it ain't no cold. No none of that shit. And these is 50 year old men, right? And I guess they have been rivals since forever too, but the same at the same rate. Ja Rule, you're Now snitching on 50 Cent. Okay, because I didn't know nothing about him getting into with Daphne Joy. I don't know. I don't remember that happening. Right. So you're saying that 50 cent creating this documentary is snitching on Diddy. You're now snitching on 50 Cent to justify calling 50 a snitch. You see what I'm saying, right? Understand what I'm saying? It's like the hypocrisy of it all.

[Tam Bam]

He definitely exposed a lot. 50 Cent definitely did his homework and exposed a lot of information on Diddy. And it's like the people are coming out of woods with their story, but their strength in numbers, you know, I guess if you trying to do it by yourself, it's more scary. I want us to talk about. Well, I know you want to talk about that documentary. We have to do an episode on that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And our thoughts once I get it around to watching that, not.

[AJ Holiday]

Not me watching something you didn't y' all know Tammy ass be on tv. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. I love it, but this is. You know, it's dark, and it's not dark in the way I like, like Stranger Things. It's dark and like.

[AJ Holiday]

Have you started the new season?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, I started and finished. I can't wait for Christmas for the next one.

[AJ Holiday]

I haven't started it yet, girl. My boyfriend was trying to catch up. So I haven't started watching the new season yet.

[Tam Bam]

No. Do you watch? Welcome to dairy. Oh, my God, it's so good. I love that. I love that. You gotta watch it if you like. You like the American Horror Story, right?

[AJ Holiday]

To a certain point, that started getting weird. And it was weird from the beginning, but it was my type of weird. And it got like, Lady Gaga weird.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Nasty gay weird, devil weird type.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't want that in my dance.

[Tam Bam]

She's not saying gay people are nasty, so don't come in the comments like.

[AJ Holiday]

This was very sadistic. A lot of the things that they was doing. So if you want to associate yourself with that. I mean, maybe I should not have added gay in there. But if you watched American Horror Story them last couple seasons, that got real dark.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it did.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, child. And you ain't got to. Don't. You ain't got to talk up for.

[Tam Bam]

Me, but I just don't be wanting to hear that, man. Don't be wanting to hear that. Cause you know what she meant. You just want to be. You just want to argue.

[AJ Holiday]

They want attention on Fridays. Yeah, you want attention on Fridays, I got it for you. Any other day, I got it, y'. All. I got a messy meme, okay? I saw this, and I'm like, man, this is really how the fuck I be feeling. For real. Somebody tweeted, like, why I keep clicking on shit and can't get to it? Like, what is really happening?

This guy tweeted it, said it's our first time on Earth. So why are you a life coach, right?

[Tam Bam]

You ain't did it before.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, you have. I do believe people be reincarnated, but.

[Tam Bam]

But you don't be knowing about them last time.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. But how the you coaching people on. That's the truest I ever heard. How are you coaching people on life, right?

[Tam Bam]

Especially if you ain't even that old. I hate a life coach that's 26. Girl, get the out my face.

[AJ Holiday]

You ain't even did nothing yet. Get right.

[Tam Bam]

You haven't even done anything yet.

[AJ Holiday]

And also, you telling me to do. You know, like, you just Yeah, I.

[Tam Bam]

Like a marriage counselor who's never been married. Get the.

[AJ Holiday]

I remember going to therapy with my mama when I was a teenager, man. My mama walked out of the therapy session talking shit to the white girl. She was like, you don't even have no damn kids. I'm like, I just looked at the therapist like, see, this is who I'm dealing with.

[Tam Bam]

See, this is exactly what the fuck I'm dealing with.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, because I don't think you have to have kids. Right? But this is why I always say, like, black people just. We need a different type of therapy. We need. I don't know if it's not no life coach. We need more like spiritual healing.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Type this Western therapy or just a combination of things. Because without the other ain't working. Now, I saw this. I know that got the first batch of BBLs. Be mad when they see with the BBL. Pro Max. I know they be mad Pro Max.

[AJ Holiday]

The one that looked natural.

[Tam Bam]

The one that looked natural is smooth.

[AJ Holiday]

Who got the shots 10, 15 years ago and now started transferring the fat maybe.

[Tam Bam]

Or the first fat transfers that wasn't like they were still getting it figured out on you. And now you got that little lump that connect to your thigh. I hate that little lump. Move that lump out.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm talking about?

[Tam Bam]

Like, it's just ass at the bottom and ass. It ain't like no gravity.

[AJ Holiday]

Natural women bodies have hip dips. Like nobody's hips is like rounded out like that on the side. And cardi B is a great example of what I'm talking about. Right? So you know she got shots plus fat transfers. Probably Summer Walker, but she just got her shit. Summer Walker was slim when she first came out. She just did all that stuff. Just think about it. When she like, like first was going to the Grammys and like first she was slim cute. I don't know why. Why you want that. She was, I mean, not teach their. Teach his own, you know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

But man, because I don't want to body shame anybody. And I feel like that's what I just did when I called out Summer Walker. It's not a shame. I just, you know, I just example. I just noticed that it goes thy ass know, like there's no graduation, you know? Yeah, we.

[AJ Holiday]

We looking for Bernice Burgos.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

She has the best. Yeah BBL in the game.

[Tam Bam]

Does Drea's looks good too?

[AJ Holiday]

Drea?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, she got a super slim bbl.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. You get it. You got to get it to Match the body, you know, Like, I just.

[AJ Holiday]

Feel like a BBL on her.

[Tam Bam]

I feel like she said she had one many years ago. She said she did. I might be lying. I might be lying, but I could have sworn she said that she got her body done.

[AJ Holiday]

She's just a slim girl. Like, what would she have gotten done done? I can't imagine her ever having enough fat for transfer.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

I think she just got a little bubble butt, little cute shape.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, maybe I'm wrong, but I could have sworn she said she did. And she had one of the first ones. I don't know, the iPhone one and BBL one. All right, y', all, I swear, I promise you this the last time I'mma bring up all year long, okay? This the last conversation on these men for the rest of the year. Okay?

[AJ Holiday]

January on your ass.

[Tam Bam]

All right? I just. We want to audit the men in your life now. Cuffing season is done. You should either be cuffed or uncuffed by now. Like, it's either or, you know, I don't think nobody's getting cuffed right before Christmas. Is gonna wait till after if they just getting to know you, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. You know that sound about right?

[Tam Bam]

So we want to audit the men in your life, emotionally, physically, and energetically. So we're going to get it into that when we get back from this commercial.

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[Tam Bam]

All.

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Mmm.

Yeah, that taste always hit the right note. Just like the band at halftime. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere, and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the place, no matter the moment, everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.

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[Tam Bam]

All right. Our goal today is to teach our listeners how to qualify men before giving access.

I know, sorry. Here's the checklist items. Emotional Stability Peace versus Chaos.

[AJ Holiday]

A lot of niggas don't have peace. They not peaceful, right?

[Tam Bam]

But they want it. Effort and consistency. Big one That's a huge one. Financial responsibility.

[AJ Holiday]

That's really not just giving you money. How does he handle the business of his own life? Right?

[Tam Bam]

And boundary respect.

[AJ Holiday]

Men hate hearing no. That's what I've learned. Do not like hearing no.

[Tam Bam]

I hate hearing no, too, though. I. That's the word I hate the most. I don't even accept it most of the time. I just feel like this is where we start negotiations.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, what do you mean? No, no, I say men hate. No, I'm talking about like, you. This is a big example. You not feeling like having sex. But they do. They don't want. They don't want to hear no.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Even in a relationship, have you ever.

[Tam Bam]

Gave your man damn hair?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Plenty of times.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Here. I ain't sucking.

[Tam Bam]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

It don't come with head, though. Yeah, that hair. Pussy don't come with head. I don't even like you right now. That's why we ain't having sex. But here, this shit, man, if you want it like this, definitely.

[Tam Bam]

And they'll take it. They don't care.

[AJ Holiday]

I remember.

[Tam Bam]

He don't care. He's like open war. He said he'll take damn hair and a. Here's some shame.

[AJ Holiday]

Pity has to be the. If you out here just getting pity, like, that has to be sag. You know, you only smashing one time. Right?

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Better knock that shit out the park. You better come back to your whack ass. No, this.

[Tam Bam]

This.

[AJ Holiday]

This discussion is very important. Right. Because I think as women, oftentimes we are only listening to what somebody is saying and we're acting like we don't see what the fuck they're doing.

[Tam Bam]

Right. And ignoring it.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. And then sometimes, and I know I've said this in the past, where I feel like in relationships, men, they want a therapist for a girlfriend. Like, it's not one and the same. Like, just because, like, you, you do want to be able to be vulnerable with your partner, but not to the point to where she's supposed to solve all your mental issues, like all your childhood traumas, or then use those things to justify your behavior towards her. No. Right.

[Tam Bam]

And that's scary.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. You were abused. So now you be abusing me, and I'm just, oh, he was abused as a kid. No. Go get help.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Go get some fucking help. Mental emotional stability is very, very, very important.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. And most people don't have it all the way. Most people. So you just gotta, like, know your personnel and pick your poison, too, like. Cause I feel like you gonna probably end up with somebody with some shit. Like I don't feel like everybody. Have you met somebody who was like 100% emotionally stable? A hundred percent.

[AJ Holiday]

If somebody appeared to be 100% emotionally stable, I would be waiting for, for crazy to show up. Real crazy too, like, like you ain't real. When is it coming, right? You telling my boyfriend I'mma beat you today? Like I be warning him. I be warning him like the domestic violence is coming so he know I'm retarded, right? One day I'mma beat you.

[Tam Bam]

Today is crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

One day I might beat you. Okay, just throwing it out there. So you're not surprised when it happens.

[Tam Bam]

You can't say I changed this financial responsibility. This is a big one. And not necessarily because I feel like we do live in a society today where women feel like, especially these young girls, it's so weird. They feel like these young don't have no money to take care of.

[AJ Holiday]

Never did.

[Tam Bam]

They can't take care of you. They barely can take care of their self. But you do want to find someone who is ambitious, someone who's trying to make the moves to do things for you in themselves.

[AJ Holiday]

And you got to make sure state of mind. It's not like if they're like broke mentally, then yeah, you can't fuck with them. But if they trying to get things in motion, even just. It actually starts with literally just moving around. If you got somebody who's sitting watching tv, who video games all day long, smoke, he's high every day, all day, get out of there. And if you are like that, so that's why, that's what you're attracting. You need to change you if you want to attract something different.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Because you can't sit around all day and then expect to have somebody who's ambitious and moving around and doing the things. I mean some, some women get lucky and can find somebody who's just gonna allow them to be a do nothing.

[AJ Holiday]

They talking about you though. They talking about you to the they really want. I'm let you know that the who ain't going for it, right? They talking about you to that.

[Tam Bam]

Well, we gotta stop saying.

They'Re talking.

[AJ Holiday]

About you to that woman.

[Tam Bam]

To that woman.

[AJ Holiday]

The woman with a little bit more depth. Yeah, they talking about you.

[Tam Bam]

But I do think you should be able to ask the person you sleeping with for money.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't get it twisted very much so like we'll be talking about. And you know, it's not that it's not gold digger, right? I wouldn't say that I'm a gold digger, but I'm not fucking with somebody who does not have the means to help me if I need it.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

That part, it doesn't make sense to me. Like, somebody I know is always considering a man's pocket. Like, well, he got bills too. So what, what are we talking about?

[Tam Bam]

Right? So you're not going to ask for help with any.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Like, they know they got to pay for coochie indirectly, directly. However, like, men literally take our life force. Hold on, hold on.

[Tam Bam]

Sorry about it.

[AJ Holiday]

That's right. Yeah. Men literally take our life force, right? They use us. Women are givers, men are takers. It is just. It is what it is. We're open, they're closed. So they have to come with offerings. Right? You look up, you done aged five years, you done had a kid, your body different, all this shit, they have to come with offerings. And they know this because what's the first thing men say? Like, if. If you ask a man if he could be a woman for a day, what would he do? It's going to be sell that box.

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Men will always want to sell that pussy.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

They already know that it's worth something. They just want to trick you, you.

[Tam Bam]

Into thinking that y' all are equal.

[AJ Holiday]

Worthless.

[Tam Bam]

Y' all are equal. I, you, you, me. No, that's not how that works.

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely not. They use the box so you have to pay the usage tax. That is just. Just. It is, is what it is.

[Tam Bam]

Right. That don't make you no gold digger. I hate that term.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, and they digging your goal. Listen, okay, so peace versus chaos, okay? I have been with some very unpeaceful men. And if you ask any man, they always want peace. But they don't. They just. They not peaceful. Right? So you want somebody who makes you feel good, that's just not even in relationships with, you know, your significant other, even your family who wants to go around somebody that drags their energy. The minute they step in a room, you step in the house and you could feel how heavy it is. But he wants to be around that. So you want to be a delight and you want to be with someone that is also delightful.

[Tam Bam]

Right, that part, yeah. So peace versus chaos is huge. Boundaries respect you. That. I think that's a you thing and not another person thing. Because the first person who got to respect your boundaries is you.

[AJ Holiday]

Salutely.

[Tam Bam]

That's something I had to learn because I said clear boundaries. And then as soon as I like somebody, them shits get soft and bendable and foldable and Then non existent.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly.

[Tam Bam]

And then if I had stuck to my boundaries, I wouldn't end up in so many situations that were in alignment with what I needed. So.

[AJ Holiday]

And men want boundaries just like kids, okay? So your boundaries should be unwavering. They should not twist and fold. And this is about having boundaries and like compromising. Like to me, like that's, that's two different things, right? A lot of the boundaries that women have, men also have those boundaries. And guess what? They're not letting you cross them. They getting you the up out of here the minute they see some they don't like. So we need to in that way, we need to move like men.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

It's just things that men are not dealing with, like cheating and they're not dealing with that. So why are we. So if you have your boundaries, stick to them. Because somebody who really loves and appreciates you do not mind boundaries. Only person who mind boundaries are habitual line steppers. Get them the up out your life effort.

[Tam Bam]

Inconsistency ain't nothing worse than a of what you a wd.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh what you.

[Tam Bam]

That's it. Like don't wyd me to death and then I tell you what I'm doing and then you get missing and then come back again later. Wyd boy you leave me alone because.

[AJ Holiday]

What are you doing? Are you just trying to keep in contact? Really? Like just in case. I know, just in case. So don't be trying to keep up with me. Like with. No, just. That's not communication. That's not engaging at all.

[Tam Bam]

Like girl, I hit you every day wid me to death.

[AJ Holiday]

Texting is not talking to me. Even if we text all day long, we didn't talk. So if I'm with you or you're interested in me and you just text me every day and we never hear each other voices or see each other. You don't talk to me. I don't know you. You cannot get to know anybody via text message. You got to pick up the phone and call me. And I don't know if that. I don't. I know the younger, younger people, they probably okay with texting all day long, but I be want to throw my phone if somebody texting me paragraphs. I'm not. I'm sending voice notes back.

[Tam Bam]

Are you the baby bear porridge? Like don't text me. Don't text me short. But don't text me long either. Baby.

[AJ Holiday]

No, just call. Yeah, yeah, just call or send a voice note if you don't, I don't. I never all day.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I don't mind that as long as we're communicating because sometimes it's not communication.

[AJ Holiday]

To me, it's really not. Like if the text messages are not followed up with a phone call at some point throughout the day. We never spoke.

[Tam Bam]

Have you never had somebody send you a text message that was so sweet that you read it over and over again?

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely. But still follow up with a phone call? I like text messages. I can go back to, you know, nice, sweet ones. Y' all know what I'm playing. Playing my guy. I sent him like a. You know how you could do like. Like the virtual E cards. I sent him a nice E card that he says he can't stop reading after the first date. I'm not telling y' all what I said in there. I said it was the game coach. I. I got the nigga. I know that because I.

[Tam Bam]

Player, player. You already had the.

[AJ Holiday]

There's a difference between having and keeping them. So I said, I kept. I kept the. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

All right, so this women got to get.

[AJ Holiday]

Have effort too. Y' all gotta do like little stuff too.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I was telling one of my friends. Like, she just think, like, the guy is supposed to do everything. I was like, well, you have to make him feel like you're interested in him too. Like it's not one sided.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And you gotta be fun.

[Tam Bam]

Why would he keep doing the things if you're not making him feel nothing?

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

It has to be. Everybody wants reciprocation. Everybody. So buy that nigga a trinket too. Buy something nice too. I never understand. I think women do be buying men shit. I don't know what these men be talking about. If you never had a woman do something nice for you, then that dick ain't hitting one of my friends.

[Tam Bam]

Her man was deployed and they were trying to find ways to keep their energy and their spark. So once some nights they would like get on a movie together and press play at the exact same time so they could like, listen to the movie and they would both have popcorn and they would watch the movie together. And then one time she sent him one of you know, those 3D Legos, the same ones. And they built it together over FaceTime. Like, I thought that was cute.

[AJ Holiday]

Costco got them. They got some roses now.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's what it was. That was. It was a rose. It was like Valentine. So they didn't.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, effort. Women, you got to put forth effort too.

[Tam Bam]

Okay? I love making niggas coupon books. And it don't Be like coupon books for, like. Some of it be real shit. Like. Like, I'll get. Put a gift card to, like, one of their favorite stores in there. But then I also. I'll make personal gift coupons. Like, all my. Get a shut the up gift coupon on Valentine's Day, and they could redeem it at any time.

[AJ Holiday]

That's cute.

[Tam Bam]

Put that on the table. I would close my mouth about whatever the.

[AJ Holiday]

For how long, though? My coupon got that should expire early.

[Tam Bam]

You got it.

[AJ Holiday]

My coupon's gonna have expiration dates, so you better use that quick.

[Tam Bam]

No, they don't expire, but once you redeem it, you can't use it twice. So you better make sure it's worth it for me to be quiet. It'll be a shut the fuck up. A coochie. Come on.

[AJ Holiday]

This coupon has already been scanned. That shit happened to me one day in Sally's, y'. All. I was in Sally's. So fucking lie. I let my homegirl use a coupon that came to my phone. I thought it was transferable. I had so much shit in my car, I'm thinking I'm getting 50% off all this shit. That girl was like, oh, this coupon was already scammed. I like to cry in Sally's.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

I was in there for like, an hour.

[Tam Bam]

No, I got a story. Like, so embarrassing, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

So this nigga had sent me. I feel like I told y'. All. He sent me some Louis Vuitton boots, and they were the wrong. Like, I went. I took them back and they. Louis told me these ain't real.

[AJ Holiday]

I was like, what finesse cannot get?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, him. And cussed about so bad for embarrassing me like that. You tried to trick me. Yeah, this is where he lives.

[AJ Holiday]

When they was knockoffs, where he got them from. He might have bought them off ebay, if anything.

[Tam Bam]

He said his homeboy bought them for his girl and they broke up and he bought them from him.

That's what he told me. That was probably a lie. He probably got it off the side of the road somewhere.

[AJ Holiday]

Chinese shop, Canal Street.

[Tam Bam]

But they were good replicas, though, because I thought they were real. I would have never gone into nobody's Louis store with no fake shoes.

[AJ Holiday]

That's grounds for termination, man.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, he got terminated.

[Coca Cola Ad Voice]

What a matchup we got, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Coca Cola Ad Voice]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance, echo, drum beat, everybody showing that school pride. Game like this.

[State Farm Agent (Ad Voice)]

Yeah.

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[AJ Holiday]

All right, so the.

Grading scale. So there's a, there's a grading scale. Are we going?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. When you get to your, I want you to look at him and really analyze and write down your pros and cons and then you're going to grade him on this scale. So A would be elite. So that means this man is doing all the things he has energy, stability and consistency.

B, grown but not aligned. He's good, but he's right now great. But you're not sure if it's long term.

[AJ Holiday]

So basically he's lacking consistency. Like every once in a while you see some bullshit or it may not.

[Tam Bam]

Be like just consistency. It might be he's not as peaceful as you need or maybe he's not financially growing in the way that you see fit for future or shit like that. Or he a habitual boundary crosser. Yeah, something like no. Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Doesn't like no.

[Tam Bam]

Or a seasonal like what I got going on right now. He's fun. Okay. Short term, but not serious. Just winter, soon as it thaw out.

[AJ Holiday]

I think a lot of times we. Most people in your life are seasonal, but we be trying to give them permanent positions like. And I think that's where black women fuck up because we never dated as kids. We don't know when unless somebody get like, let them go, the season is over with. Hopefully you learned what you needed to learn. What I learned recently though is that dating is so important. And when I say dating, I mean like without sex. Just getting to know different people so you could then know what you like and what you don't like because you don't want to. You have women who have only been in 2, 3 relationships their whole lives and when they get into the next new relationship, they start seeing some shit like you thought you were good because this person wasn't displaying the bullshit the last person was. But now you've now discovered more shit that that you need to set a boundary about. You know, you've discovered now having dealt with this new person, some other shit you don't like. Some other. So that is the importance of dating so you can get all This. I learned a lot of things. I learned a lot of things about myself, about what I want and what I don't want in a relationship. A lot of things I needed to change. But you can't learn those things until you be in. In the thing.

[Tam Bam]

I have a client who has been with her husband since she was 14.

[State Farm Agent (Ad Voice)]

Mm.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. He's 37 now.

He was her first, he was her only. And every time she come to get her hair done, she talked to me about how she wanted to try some different dick every hair appointment. And I'd be like, because I'm not going to advise anybody to go out and cheat on their husband. That's never going to be my advice. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Not husbands.

[Tam Bam]

I can't. I can't. You know, with good conscience and Mavu's your boyfriend, I might suggest you see what's out there. But I'm not suggesting that to a married woman. So I just listen. Oftentimes in those appointments, I just listen and I'll help, try to help you come up with what you already want.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what therapists do, right? Oh, is that really? Yeah. And I feel like it could be a conversation, right? But if you're with somebody who you can't talk about your. Those are natural feelings that. Those feelings are not abnormal. Because I bet you he's acted on his already.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You see what I'm saying? So women, we. A lot of times we are more loyal to default than men are. Like, we have a little bit more self control. And I. I don't know that she should talk to him. Maybe if she does, she should say it in therapy with him, right? Hey, I've been having these feelings you might not want to talk to. Talk about that shit. Like on a Saturday night while y' all at the house just chilling. Like, he may not receive it. He may. He's going to automatically go to like, oh, this dick ain't good enough. No, I just. I know I can get fucked different, right? My friends tell me how.

[Tam Bam]

They began.

[AJ Holiday]

Fuck. You've never pulled my hair.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

You never choked me. Like, we do the same shit, right?

[Tam Bam]

And I want to just try something different one time. Just one time. That's what she always say.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man.

[Tam Bam]

But you know, it don't never be one time. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Hell no. That is Pandora's box.

[Tam Bam]

You know?

[AJ Holiday]

This is like. That's like without a condom for the first time. That's the worst thing you could have ever done. Because how do you go back, right?

[Tam Bam]

It's hard to go back.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I don't know how she gonna.

[Tam Bam]

Hey, you.

[AJ Holiday]

You a good person, Not a married woman. Because I had. I had a conversation recently with a married friend, and I'm like, listen, I'm not telling you to leave your husband. And I was in her wedding. I feel like it's the people who are closest to you who were, like, in your wedding. They are the people who are supposed to keep you and your partner together, actually. Right? Those are the people you're supposed to counsel with when shit fucked up, and they supposed to help guide y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Right? So I'm definitely not telling you to leave your fucking husband, but you gotta have serious conversations, right? And he just gotta see you making moves and doing something different. Because I think a lot of times men just get too familiar. They get too complacent, and they think, can't change until it does.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. You start losing weight and not giving.

[AJ Holiday]

A. I told her I was gonna send some flowers to her house.

[State Farm Agent (Ad Voice)]

Who?

[AJ Holiday]

My homegirl. I said, I'm gonna send some flowers to your house because I'm trying to figure out why this. Don't think you the.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Or he forgot.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, exactly. I'm sending you some flowers from secret Meyer. Right, girl? But he fucking around to kill my friend. I ain't doing this. Men cannot take the type of shit they be doing to people. They cannot take what they dish ever.

[Tam Bam]

All right, so then the next one. If you look at your man right now, is he d. Draining you? Emotionally unavailable and inconsistent. Take a look. Just stare at him right now. Don't tell him what you're thinking about, but think about this checklist.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't even look at him. Look at an old picture of you on Instagram and go look in the mirror, bitch. If you looking five years older, somebody's stealing your damn energy. Okay?

[Tam Bam]

But don't look at a picture from five years ago because you supposed to look five years older now. Don't blame that nigga.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you look really.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, if you are five years older, you might look five years older. And it don't have nothing to do with the nigga. I don't want you.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, I look five years older. I feel like I looked so old in a relationship with a nigga who I was engaged to. I looked and felt so old in that relationship, and I don't feel. Feel like that anymore.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, I literally feel like somebody was, like, sucking the life out of me.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

So that's what I mean. Yeah. Like, and he was getting younger and he would make jokes about it, too. He would make jokes saying, I look older than him. Imagine that, you know? So he was definitely stealing. He was stealing from your life force. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Then f. Remove from roster. Disrespect, chaos, low emotional intelligence.

[AJ Holiday]

If you guys thinking about this, go ahead. Sorry.

[Tam Bam]

No, I was about to say.

Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I was. I was thinking the other day, y', all, because when I lose friendships, it does make me sad. I was saying that the other day and one of. And I think about my friends often, right? My ex friends. So one of my homegirls, one of my ex friends. I just remember, like, her having me on speakerphone, like, in the car with her and her man. And he would be like, shut the fuck up. I'd be like, why the fuck are you talking to my friend like that? Are you stupid?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

But when her and I, when our friendship ended, she was saying that I always be. She said, I always disrespect her. She's married to this nigga now. I've never disrespected you because obviously you don't know what disrespect is.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Because that nigga would be talking and treating you so greasy. But the amount of grace that we give these men versus, like, your home, like, I don't know what she considered disrespect. But I never told you to shut the fuck up.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

In front of your best friend or in front of your man or in front of whoever.

[Tam Bam]

In front of anybody. Yeah. That's wild. So if you got a person talking, and if you're talking to your partner like that, you need to check that too.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, it's time to get out of there. You don't have to.

[Tam Bam]

You don't have no respect for him no more. Or him or her no more. So it's time to go. Once you start telling Shut the up. And if you calling your A every time you get mad at him, girl, just leave that man.

[AJ Holiday]

I would call mine a son of a bitch. And he would get so angry because his mom was dead.

[Tam Bam]

And you knew that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. I might have called him a son of a bitch three times. And I. And when I did, it was with much intent. And I knew how much he hate that. But I'm not really calling your mama bitch. I'm really just calling you a bitch, like, and you acting like a bitch ass nigga. But if you want to take it that way, and I know it gets under your skin.

[Tam Bam]

But you didn't call him A bitch. You said you're a son of a bitch.

[AJ Holiday]

Same thing. Because that's why you act like. Why you act like this. Your mama allowed this type of behavior. And now here I am trying to course correct and raise a man. Now I'm trying to like, that's not right.

[Tam Bam]

You can't.

[AJ Holiday]

Let me tell y', all, the last time I called him a son of a bitch. Okay, just right quick.

When I cook, I expect you to eat immediately. You can't be walking around the house saying you hungry as soon as I put the food out, you letting the food, this good old food I cook for you get cold. That is so disrespectful.

[Tam Bam]

Especially.

Food hot too.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, especially if I carved all the time. Because I like, if I cook for you, like, I want you to eat it fresh, right? I want you to really taste it. It's like a love language for me, right? So if I gotta warm your food up, it's not going in the microwave. I'm literally gonna recook that on the stove or put in the oven. So I made this a goal gourmet burger. He would not eat that shit immediately, girl. And I kept asking, you're not gonna eat, like, hour went by, I was like, you're not gonna eat that burger. Like, I had to start work. I just made it for you, right? That got so mad, he took a bite of that burger and he balled it up on his plate. He balled the burger up on his plate. He took one bite and balled it up on the plate. Because this was a constant, constant thing I'd cook for him and he would not eat immediately. Like, you were so hungry. And I cook and you don't eat. Like, what's up? He bought, girl. I took the whole plate, real plate, and slam dunked that bitch in the trash can. I said, you son of a bitch.

[Tam Bam]

But you gotta be mad as he had a ball of a hamburger in your head. Like, what?

[AJ Holiday]

You mad because your girl made you a burger from scratch? Ground beef with the fucking Lipton onion soup in that motherfucking cut up peppers and onions on a Hawaiian bun with honey butter. I made with honey and butter. Grilled your bread on a stove, put your burger together with some real Colby Jack cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and onions. And you don't eat that shit. And you ball it up on a plate after one. You don't deserve another meal for me, bitch. And that might have been the last time I cooked for him. Balling up a burger.

[Tam Bam]

I wish I could have Seen that?

[AJ Holiday]

Because that is your nigga doing that type of shit. Get him out of here.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Slamming refrigerators. Because you come home and I'm on the phone, my homegirl, instead of saying, you need some attention, you need a hug, you want to talk to me about something, you're walking around the house slamming shit. That's another get. Get those type of people out of your life because they're maniacs.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't wait. Don't use his childhood trauma to justify that stupid ass behavior. Because that is not how. How healthy adults act.

[Tam Bam]

All right, so here's when to cancel exes.

When the person is setting unclear intentions. If you just consistently don't know where y' all stand, get on through. They playing with you. Absolutely. This is a big one. Y' all stop with niggas with poor hygiene and messy habits. They gonna contaminate your body. If you have sex with a man and your face immediately break out every time you fuck him. Leave that man alone. That is your body telling you that this man is not clean for your body. He is.

[AJ Holiday]

Coochie. The bacteria in your coochie will try to fight off the bad bacteria, right? But if he is always contaminating your shit is cause there's cross contamination happening. He's mixing you up with somebody else. He probably smashing. It could be a butthole. Get out of there.

[Tam Bam]

Right? If your coochie issue every time you have sex with somebody, get away from that man. And I know our vaginas are sensitive.

[AJ Holiday]

It got more sensitive the older I got. I don't be just having a bunch of sex. So now, like, my coochie be so.

[Tam Bam]

Great and just smell good and clean. You had sex with a. Now you in the grocery store trying to get some food and your coochie itching down the aisle.

[AJ Holiday]

Yo, I remember one time I had. I had a yeast infection. And this is how I found out I was allergic to sulfa drugs, right? I had a yeast infection, and the damn doctor prescribed me a yeast infection medicine that had sulfur in it. So now not only is my coochie itching so bad, my entire body is hived up, broken out in hives.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, my God.

[AJ Holiday]

When I tell you I was in the bed crying. Yes, crying itching bad.

[Tam Bam]

Body itching bad.

[AJ Holiday]

There, man. You gotta learn your body, man. It take a while, though.

[Tam Bam]

It does.

[AJ Holiday]

Wow.

[Tam Bam]

It does. It'll take a while to understand your body fully. But y', all, I. I'm just saying that walking down the grocery store because I remember that happening to me. I Was like, I got. I can't even grocery shop. I gotta go home. I.

[AJ Holiday]

Started looking cute as hell with.

[Tam Bam]

That itchy coochie with the coochie. Itching like a. I got to go home.

[AJ Holiday]

If that little girl is.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

I know y' all done had it happen before. If you out here living the vagina, your has itched.

Inconsistent communication.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's text. That's what I was talking about. Detect like that. Text to me is not communication. I gotta talk to you.

[Tam Bam]

I don't mind that. As long as you articulate what you feeling. We can do it through text because some people don't know.

What do you mean? Like, we don't talk on the phone at all in a day?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like three days. We haven't talked. We just text. 2 days is too long. Like, what the Is happening?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Okay, that's fair.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like, even 24 hours. So this, like, today, the guy you talking to, y' all only text today? That's it. And then tomorrow, you might talk to him. Like, what happened yesterday? We didn't. We didn't talk. Yeah, we texted, but we didn't talk. Yeah, I don't. I don't think that's really.

[Tam Bam]

Because I don't be like, damn. I don't be talking to a. You wouldn't talk to me every day.

[AJ Holiday]

I need to hear your voice every. If we together.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, we're a couple. I feel you.

[AJ Holiday]

I need to hear your voice every day. Because you skip a day planning your replacement.

[Tam Bam]

I think because I have dealt with military and deployment, and sometimes you can't get on the phone with a nigga every day.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm saying, like, okay, so then you know those.

[Tam Bam]

Of course. Circumstances. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. But if I know your routine, where you been at yesterday? Yeah, we was texting, but.

[Tam Bam]

What?

[AJ Holiday]

No, that don't work for me.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. Okay. Then here's the signs that he should be permanently removed. You feel like his mother. That's a big one. I know it's a lot of y' all listening. If you feel like you got not just the kids you bore, but your man is one of your kids too.

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely. I feel like I have definitely experienced that in life, and I don't have time to teach a grown man at this big age anything. Actually, you know, I don't expect you to know everything, because I don't know everything, but if I find that I'm having to. My mama always say, I got the pussy and the dick. I don't ever want to be saying that at 70 something years.

[Tam Bam]

Old, right?

[AJ Holiday]

So I'm nipping that shit in the bud right now. I am a woman, okay. I know how to do a lot of things. I know how to fix cars, I know how to fix shit in the house. I am a problem solver. I am just super mechanically inclined. And I want somebody the same way because I be. I'll be damned if I'm be carrying the whole household.

[Tam Bam]

So do you feel like you could. Me and my friend were talking about this, like I was talking to this guy recently and I wasn't sure that we were compatible, but I did admire the fact that he knew how to do shit with his hands. Like he could put shit together and build shit and lay it down. And that's a very. I would say how attractive that is for me because oftentimes I meet men who just know how to pay people to do stuff. They don't. They can't physically do nothing with their hands. The only thing they know how to do with their hands is beat they dick and that is it.

[AJ Holiday]

So soft ass hands. I like a man with soft hands, but not why your hands softer than mine.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

You don't do nothing manual. You don't do nothing physical. I like dirty men. Yes, I do like who that's not scared to get dirty doing menly manly shit like, nigga, go chop wood, please. So, yeah, if I'm. I don't want to ever feel like I'm. I'm mothering and teaching and.

It just has to be like, you got to be as smart as me or smarter. Yeah, it is what it is.

[Tam Bam]

But sometimes. Can I be honest? I do like the mommy a. A little bit. Is that bad? Not like I don't want to like replace your mom in the. In that type of baby.

[AJ Holiday]

Them cater.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I like to like.

[AJ Holiday]

Even easier to cater to a man who works hard who does things. You just want to take care of them because they just was doing all these things.

[Tam Bam]

I like doing all that nurturing. Like. Yeah, you know, that's my. I do. So I don't know if that might.

[AJ Holiday]

If you gotta call.

[Tam Bam]

Does that make me decision?

[AJ Holiday]

No. Like if you gotta call me to make a decision about everything, you can't make no decisions on your own.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, no, that's.

[AJ Holiday]

You can't make no decisions for the both of us.

[Tam Bam]

No, I don't like.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I can.

[Tam Bam]

I feel like I've been steering my own ship for so long. Come and steer this ship. Like, let me sit in this soft girl energy and trust that you can decide something without me.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, my man got it. Yeah, I want to say that.

[Tam Bam]

Me too. This is like y', all, this is my ninth Christmas single girl, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

Let me tell y'. All. She could say that. Do not feel bad for that because she could definitely have a for Christmas all nine of them years. Okay, where did at make a decision, choose one and see what happens.

We ain't going for that. Stopping by myself for Christmas. What do the lonely do best? Ain't getting a gift. Beat it.

[Tam Bam]

I didn't say I didn't have gifts for Christmas.

[AJ Holiday]

You're getting all these gifts and you're single. See?

[Tam Bam]

Next is next. Let's go to the next segment.

[AJ Holiday]

You're making me choke.

[Tam Bam]

All right, these are some grown woman questions to ask yourself. All right? Do I feel emotionally safe? Do you feel emotionally safe right now in your relationship?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, absolutely. I, I, I definitely have. Have and this, this is consideration is my love language. I definitely have somebody who considers me, um, and really that trumps all love languages. Because once somebody considers you, everything they do is going to be around you, right? They want to make sure not coddling your feelings, but they don't want to hurt you. If somebody can easily hurt you, that's not a safe space. Like, he is not thinking about how this thing is going to make you feel before he does it. He's just going to do it. Like, you know how they say ask for forgiveness instead of permission? This is what men do oftentimes. And they think you're supposed to love them unconditionally like their mother does. No, absolutely not. Because men do not. Men, men, their love comes with conditions for sure. So we, we need to be more like that.

[Tam Bam]

All right, So I want y' all to write these questions down and answer them for yourself. Like, seriously. So do I feel emotionally safe? Am I chasing, managing and mothering him?

[AJ Holiday]

Don't chase a relationship. You might fuck around and get it and real realize why you wasn't supposed to be in it in the first place. At this point, you, it should come very easy. Relationships are not as hard as people make it out to be. Is not because just two people considering each other.

[Tam Bam]

I just think you got to, you got away. I mean, because it ain't going to be peaches and cream all the time. That's just not reality. But if the bad is outweighing the good heavily, then you know you're doing too much. All right, the next one. Does he nourish or deplete me?

[AJ Holiday]

Do you feel energized around him? Do you feel full, like you walking on eggshells, like you can't say nothing? It's just straight turmoil. He's causing you mental anguish.

[Tam Bam]

Next question to write down. Do words match actions?

[AJ Holiday]

Like I was saying, stop listening to what these men say when they are literally doing action. A total. You see what he's doing, but he's telling you he loves you. Obviously, y' all have a different definition of what love is.

[Tam Bam]

I hope y' all are writing down these questions and you're answering yes, yes, yes to all of them. I hope y' all are in such a healthy space with someone. But we know some of y' all writing this down, and it ain't been a yes yet. Is he disciplined to write that down? Is that nigga discipline or is that woman disciplined?

[AJ Holiday]

I need somebody that's more disciplined than me to encourage me to be more disciplined. You can't be as fucking lazy.

And undisciplined as I am.

[Tam Bam]

That's why I'm gaining weight. Because me and my little friend, we be eating. Oh, we watching TV and eating. I'm in there cooking all the things. I done made so many different types of soups. I don't make all the soups from scratch, though.

[AJ Holiday]

And that's fun. It's fun, but y' all gotta work out.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. All right, so then does he pull the grown woman out of me or the little girl?

[AJ Holiday]

I want both.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah. That's what I'm about to say. I don't know, because I think both of those are necessary.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I want to feel like a little. You just feel like, you know, I realize when you really, really love somebody or, you know, like, this is how you realize. Know you're in a good relationship. In my. From my perspective, you know, you're in a good relationship when you're. You're not worrying about if this person is cheating, if they're lying or whatever. You literally worry about them dying.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

That is what scares me the most.

In my current relationship, I'd be like, like, what if. God, like what? Like, what if something were to happen? This motherfucker, Like, I would be devastated. That's how good the relationship is.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but don't put that in the energy out.

[AJ Holiday]

Whatever's going. I don't think we. Neither one of us is, like, scared of going, you know, mortality. So I'm definitely not putting that out. But I. I just. That is what scares me. I don't be thinking about if you cheating, if you talking. I don't give a. About none of that shit. I just need you to be existing forever. That's how I feel.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, it's kind of sweet. Kinda right in the dark kind of way. All right, all right, so this. This is the last segment. The grown woman exit strategy. All right, so we want to. If you're not happy, if you answer those questions and it was more nos than yeses, then you gotta learn how to gracefully remove men from your life.

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely. I made a mistake in a relationship by telling a man that I was leaving. And it was one of the craziest, most reckless just experiences I've ever had. Leave quietly. Especially if y' all ain't married, no shit like that. Just cold turkey, get the fuck up. There's no explaining. Like, they. They know why you're leaving. When you do, you don't have to make a big announcement because half the.

[Tam Bam]

Time you done told him a thousand times at this point.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Yeah. So just get out of there. And I think a lot of times women leave mentally before they leave physically anyway. But I think when we do say we're leaving, I guess I had to tell a nigga he was leaving because his kid was at the house with me. But I called the baby mama, like, hey, I'm about to drop y' all boy off, okay? I gotta go to Charleston. And I packed up all my shit.

[Tam Bam]

I don't think you should, like, unless the nigga is, like, physically harming you. I don't know if you should just. He come home and it's just a hanger in the closet and that's it.

[AJ Holiday]

You don't know, though. You don't know if he gonna physically harm you or not. I didn't know that day was gonna get that stupid.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You know?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Personnel. There you go.

[Tam Bam]

You gotta know your person got on.

[AJ Holiday]

Quietly.

[Tam Bam]

As an adult, because I was just. I. I think I'd be really devastated if I was in a relationship with someone and I come home and all their shit is just gone.

[AJ Holiday]

That is how you force change in some people right now. You should feel good. Men learn from consequences, like I said. And he's going to learn from the hurt of being left in that way. And he is going to do the next woman good. Better just be happy that you were able to pay it forward and give the next bitch a refurbished. And hopefully somebody pays it forward to you in the future.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Heard a so bad that he's so good to you.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, I get that. I get that. But if somebody leave me like that, I ain't gonna lie. I Might crash out.

[AJ Holiday]

Really? What do you do though?

[Tam Bam]

And not say nothing. You could have just told me you.

[AJ Holiday]

Wanted to separate Sometimes you what the next one say no unnecessary explanations like you said. This person probably told you a million times. You knew deep down in your heart this was coming.

[Tam Bam]

I can't see. I just can't imagine somebody doing that to me because I'd be so loving them. Why would you do that to me?

[AJ Holiday]

You know, that's different though. But if you know, you've been up this entire relationship and come home for work and she's gone, you probably deserve it.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because women on women only need one reason to stay. So if somebody does leave you in that way, you did some things.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. This is the truth.

Keep it clean and firm.

This isn't a line for me anymore. I wish you the best.

Smooth. And that's it. That's it. That's all. If you start doing too much talking, you're really not ready to go. You might as well put your stuff back in the closet.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Yeah. Yep. I think we always know, right? We always know who's best for us. Sometimes we even overlook the guy who's best for us while we're chasing. There's no good ass dude, because there's just something about him. And what it is is the unattainability. That is what you're attracted to. You're attracted to him. Being inconsistent, it draws you in even more. You're attracted to the drama, right? The makeup and breakup is what keeps you there. That is like. That's just basically like Instagram. Like dopamine levels is rising and lowering, rising and lowering. So your body is constantly confused with this person and it could be feeling like a turn on.

[Tam Bam]

Dude.

[AJ Holiday]

That is all toxic behavior in a relationship. All that shit is toxic. As relationships should not be that hard, man. I used to think they were. I used to think that you had to struggle with your partner to get to a good, horrible whole place with them to where like, maybe I could give a my cell phone nowadays because I ain't got going on, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I always had one foot in the door and one foot out because of how I was being treated. But if you're being treated well, like, everything in your life should get better. Everything. I'm telling y', all, everything.

[Tam Bam]

Is that your last last? I feel like that was.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, yeah, that is.

[Tam Bam]

What's the girl?

[AJ Holiday]

Tasia on Instagram, she was like, I telling you what a. What she said. She always saying she. I ain't telling you what I something. I'm telling you what I know or something she be saying. Yeah, I'm telling you what I know.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

It gets better. That is not the best you'll ever have. Right. Promise me that's my Unless he is.

[Tam Bam]

Unless you with the best you ever had and your answers are happy and yes, yes, yes. Don't leave them just to think you better out there.

Some people be slow and they'd be like AJ said it's better than you.

[AJ Holiday]

And you gotta and listen like I said people who with you hear you different because there's no way you could have heard that. And if you did, I don't know. I'm not explaining myself and I also want people to know I am 41. The the example of what I'm saying and shit that we be talking and I know people probably feel like it's mothering a little bit. Right? Because we don't did all the dumb like that's the premise of this podcast. You gotta grow at some point. So now if you feel like I'm forcing you to grow by the I be talking reevaluate your damn self. You don't have nothing to do with what I'm saying because I bet you in in the next couple years you'll understand what it was that I was saying once you have the experience. But it's almost feeling like somebody talking down to you. I guess.

[Coca Cola Ad Voice]

I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

And that is not what this is. Bitch. I've been a dumb bitch a lot of times in life and relationship and it's busy. It's okay.

[Tam Bam]

We're all here. We're all here for the first time. So let's say my.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the thing I died in the 70s. I know that.

[Tam Bam]

But AJ Holiday, this is her first.

[AJ Holiday]

Time in this time. But I do be remembering. You don't be remembering stuff from your last life. I do.

[Tam Bam]

I be feeling like I remember stuff. But I don't know if it's like just something I've seen on TV in my subconscious mind is making me think it's something from my life.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the thing, man. That be the God body like you know, because that's what that inner knowing is. It didn't come from having to actually experience it this lifetime. That is coming through your DNA. That is coming through your bloodline. That is coming from another time. That might be coming from you existing in another universe that's right now anyway. Exactly. It's coming from somewhere you ain't make it up.

[Tam Bam]

I'm trying to quantum jump.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, we doing that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. All right, y'. All. I ain't got no last last. Just like, if you happy, stay. If you ain't go, that's it.

[AJ Holiday]

Immediately.

[Tam Bam]

This is a great episode. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

All right. So if I enjoyed it. Y' all tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect iHeartRadio app. Wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0. And because I feel good today, I love y'. All. I'll say it verbally. Y' all have you get. If y' all got to the very end of the episode. It's not like I don't love people.

[Tam Bam]

No. We have never told them so. Five years, y'. All. She.

[AJ Holiday]

That's a mental illness.

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

He do love y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

She loved y' all this whole time. I knew it. You so stupid.

[AJ Holiday]

Take it, Sam. I love y'.

[State Farm Agent (Ad Voice)]

All.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I do. Officially tail Bam on Instagram, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

Follow me. Follow. We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. We love y'. All. She said it. We love y' all so much and we really do appreciate y' all for listening and sending us dms and being our sisters in this. We've been doing this for five years, about to be coming up on six or six year. And y' all been rocking with us. Y' all seeing us. Y' all watching us change and grow every day. You know, be becoming and better versions of ourselves. And hopefully you're doing the same right along with us. That's the whole point. So thank you so much. I love y'. All. Remember, speak now and hold your peace.

[AJ Holiday]

Covenant, and don't let nobody take it from you.

[Tam Bam]

Deuces.

[AJ Holiday]

We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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[AJ Holiday]

All.

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

And this year he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's Unlimited Wireless for $15 a month. Now you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

On sale for $10 for new users. It's [e-mail] that's S P I N.

[AJ Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

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[AJ Holiday]

Visit spinquest.com for more details.

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[AJ Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.