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AJ Holiday
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Podcast Narrator
You know Roald Dahl, he thought of Willy Wonka in the bfg. But did you know he was a spy? In the new podcast, the Secret World of Roald Dahl, I'll tell you that story and much, much more.
AJ Holiday
What?
Podcast Narrator
You probably won't believe it either.
AJ Holiday
Was this before you wrote his stories? It must have been okay. I don't think that's true.
Podcast Narrator
I'm telling you, the guy was a spy. Listen to the Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
AJ Holiday
I'm Clayton Eckerd. In 2022, I was the lead of ABC's the Bachelor. But here's the thing. Bachelor fans hated him. If I could press a button and
Podcast Narrator
rewind it all, I would.
AJ Holiday
That's when his life took a disturbing turn. A one night stand would end in a courtroom. The media is here.
Tam Bam
This case has gone viral.
AJ Holiday
The dating contract. Agree to date me, but I'm also suing you. This is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I'm Stephanie Young. Listen to Love trapped on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Narrator/Host
When segregation was a law, one mysterious black club owner Charlie Fitzgerald had his own rules.
Tam Bam
Segregation in the day, integration at night.
AJ Holiday
It was like stepping on another world.
Narrator/Host
Was he a businessman? A criminal?
AJ Holiday
A hero?
Tam Bam
Charlie was an example of power. They had to crush him.
Narrator/Host
Charlie's place from Atlas Obscura and visit Myrtle Beach. Listen to Charlie's place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
WSECU Representative
WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're a Forbes Best in State five years running.
Narrator/Host
Why?
WSECU Representative
Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is is investing you. Visit wsecu.org today to learn more. Washington let's credit union.
AJ Holiday
Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.
Tam Bam
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.
AJ Holiday
What's up, Tam Bam?
Tam Bam
Hey, y'. All. It's Tam Bam. I love y' all so much. Thank y' all for coming back again. One more. Again. How you doing, aj?
AJ Holiday
Is it bad hair day Thursday?
Tam Bam
If you could see what was under this ain't no tracks. I got. I got, like, literally the Sherman Hensley wears tracks just above my ear and below. The whole top is out.
AJ Holiday
Shane. My hair looks so crunchy. I ordered some new off Instagram. I don't know how many different hair products I've tried off there, but this time I'm gonna just throw all the shit I got away and stick to. Try to stick to one product, and it's just two products from the same line and see what happens, because I am ready to just chop this shit off and start anew again.
Tam Bam
Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna take this out tonight after we finish, and I'm gonna put on a U part wig for a couple for the rest of the week.
AJ Holiday
Yeah. And see, I could do you part, but my hair breaks off so easily with heat. Like, one week of heat, my shit is done with. So I can't. I can't really even use that much heat. So I just really don't manipulate my hair that much, but then it's dry. You know what I'm saying?
Tam Bam
Why don't you do, like, a you part that has, like, curly hair so you can, like, blend your natural hair in? You could do that. Mm.
AJ Holiday
I need to make me a nice little. You got a nice little you part. But I have been looking for beautician locally so I can start getting my hair treated. Because, man, I don't know if some of the natural girlies be struggling, but I struggle with moisture retention. So my be crying chi, I need a treatment. I need something.
Tam Bam
Well, you can do that at home, and you could get you a little assistant.
AJ Holiday
If I gotta pay for it, it'll get done.
Tam Bam
That's opposite of typically how you are the hair.
AJ Holiday
I don't be feeling like it when I make three wigs a year, bitch. And that be it. Literally, like, I make three to four wigs a year, and that's it. I order hair twice a year, and I be it for real, like, low maintenance when it comes to the hair. Shit, bitch, you see me hat wig. Anyway, that order my weekend was uneventful. Y' all know I'll be doing shit. I did go outside a little tiny bit just to eat that's about it. And this weekend was actually Charleston Food and Wine Festival, but I missed ticket sales, y'.
Tam Bam
All.
AJ Holiday
That should be a hundred and like 200 a day for this. But it's really nice.
Tam Bam
I saw it.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, I might with it next year or maybe I can get me some free. See the content. Girlies and guy guys be getting free tickets to that because I'm like, how the hell y' all be there every year? But you know, they create content for the festival and get free tickets.
Tam Bam
Yeah, you just got to create more content so they can be like, don't start with us.
AJ Holiday
Right, right. So maybe next year. But I did much. I just ate good. And that's it. What you had going on?
Tam Bam
Well, I was in Costa Rica, you guys, and I got the full shebang I told you all about. I got. I needed two fillings. I needed a crown. I got a veneer, not a whole veneer. They ain't shaved. My tooth is like a veneer rising or something like that. And they put it on top and then I got a wisdom tooth extracted.
AJ Holiday
Oh, that's what you. That. When you sent me the picture, I did ask. I don't think you responded if that was a wisdom tooth, because that's what it looked like.
Tam Bam
Yeah, it was a wisdom tooth. Big ass wisdom tooth impacted. It was to the side. And that felt like. Because I didn't get put to sleep. And my dentist here in the States was like, when you get that taken out, you should get it put. You should go to sleep for that. You know you're going to have to go to sleep for that. And then Costa Rica was like, no, no, no. We can do for you, baby. When I tell you it feel like they was snatching my whole jaw off the side of my head. Like the pray it didn't hurt, but it was just so much tugging and yanking. And if you're not mentally like, I could. I. I would never do that again. I'll say that. Felt it.
AJ Holiday
But you really didn't feel it.
Tam Bam
I couldn't feel the pain. I could just feel the pressure of someone trying to snatch a tooth out the side of my face. Oh, it was a lot. But they had me on the best drugs Costa Rica got. I bet. But it was a cool experience. It was like a. Almost like a. No, not almost like. It was literally a dental resort because they had a restaurant, they had a spa. They had part like a club night on Wednesday night where they. There's like a country club that the bus from the resort will Take you to the club and bring you back. And then like you just get your dental work done. And it was filled with nothing but white Americans.
AJ Holiday
Interesting. How much would you say you spent?
Tam Bam
So to get all that shit done was probably like seventeen hundred dollars.
AJ Holiday
Including the state or that separate.
Tam Bam
No, the state was separate. The state was. It was like $90 a night.
AJ Holiday
And so I've never had like a like major mouth shit that I have gotten my wisdom tooth taken out. I was a teenager, I should all four of mine been gone. But I did just get a fill in. But with my insurance it was like 80 deductible or something like that.
Tam Bam
That wasn't bad for one feeling. But if you, you got a veneer. Yeah. With all the amount of stuff I got, you're looking at a good four or five thousand dollars, maybe even more, you know. So it was a fraction. It was like 60 to 70% less than American prices. So it just makes sense if you want like a. I'm a teeth person though. So I'm all about, yeah, taking care of my grill.
AJ Holiday
I need some shit done right now because it's the fucking dentist here, man. I just don't have the mental capacity to custom out right now.
Narrator/Host
But.
AJ Holiday
And it's a black dentist, a girl, a woman. And I just feel like, you know, I was asking her about cosmetic stuff. Like some things I wanted. Like somehow, somehow this feeling got chipped at some point. I don't know when, but I've had this shit since 2017. So how did it get chipped? While y' all were cleaning my tooth. I didn't realize it until I got home.
Tam Bam
Damn, they chipped it. Cleaning it is crazy.
AJ Holiday
Yes. And then.
Tam Bam
And didn't say nothing.
AJ Holiday
Nope. Then the filling that they did do in the back of my mouth, like I could feel it, it's not smooth. And now I got hella sensitivity on it. So I just. And other things I was asking her about with my teeth, she was real dismissive of, you know what I'm saying? So I'm already annoyed. I don't want to have to call this bitch and be like, hey bitch, you fuck my mouth up, but you should. I really just want to go to another dentist and have them send the X rays because I really don't feel like I needed the, the, the fillings. I really feel like they was just trying to get some extra shit because the dental hygienist, she kept asking me like, but what's your routine? Your teeth look so good. Yeah, I don't. Come here Bitch. Okay, I went to the eye doctor. Now I can't see. I literally be taking care of myself. So I have to see y' all because y' all don't heal people. Y' all don't fix people. People to where they don't have to. Now come back and with you.
Tam Bam
Yeah, well, I mean, there's a lot of people out there mouth nasty as hell, and they need to see the dentist, though.
AJ Holiday
You don't go either. But I take care of my. And don't go.
Tam Bam
Yeah, yeah.
AJ Holiday
Floss and blush. Brush your teeth. Can do a lot, right?
Tam Bam
I agree. But no, because I still had cavities. Even I brush regularly. It's just. I don't know. So let me tell y' all this, because it was a lot of people in the DMs asking me about where I went. It's Dr. Marco Muniz Cavallini International Dental Clinic. And that's Marco M A R C O Muniz M U N O Z Cavallini C A V A L L I N I International Dental Clinic. And tell them Tammy sent you. You ain't gonna get no discount, but just mention it so I can get one when I come back, period.
AJ Holiday
Tell her we talk back. Sent you. Oh, let's get. This is what we got going on, man. So I didn't really, like, do a D. I haven't had time this week to, like, really look at the world. A lot of things I have been intentionally not lending my energy to. And then it's like, you know, I might come across some and see what's going on. But what the hell is up with this person who's allegedly invaded Rihanna's house or tried to.
Tam Bam
Like, she was shooting at the house. She put eight rounds into Rihanna's house, four into the gate, and then four into the actual house. This person is clearly suffering from mental illness. Some psychosis Rihanna put.
AJ Holiday
Put witchcraft on her is what she said, right?
Tam Bam
And Rihanna is trying to kill her. And, you know, that just takes me back to that girl. Like, I remember. Remember that girl? Yes.
AJ Holiday
Don't say her name, girl.
Tam Bam
I'm not saying her bitch name. But, yeah, like, people really be having mental illness, and they have concocted some story in their mind, and they think that you're after them. It's crazy. And this girl is so cute, too. Ain't she cute?
AJ Holiday
She is. So it says. Reports continue to surface after a suspect was identified in connection with gunfire outside of Rihanna's Beverly Hills home over the weekend. Authorities say the woman allegedly Responsible also shared several concerning posts about the singer on social media in weeks leading up to the incident. According to the police, the suspect was identified as the 35 year old Ivana Ortez. Investigators say she was arrested and booked on suspicion of attempted murder after shots reportedly fired at Rihanna's 14 million dollar mansion while the singer was in. Oh God, she was in the house.
Tam Bam
Yeah, she was home with her damn kids. You know, that's crazy because if something would have happened, you know.
AJ Holiday
The incidents quickly sparked conversation online as details about the suspect began circulating. Some of those details include multiple social media posts that appear to reference Rihanna and other celebrities. Anyway, so yeah, she's saying that she claims that Rihanna is basically after her. I mean she look fool because look at his wig.
Tam Bam
That blonde wig do look crazy. That blonde wig tells it all. It tells a story for sure.
AJ Holiday
What she, she, she tweeted Rihanna once and said this is on February 23rd at Baggar. Riri, are you there? Because I was waiting for your aids 5 head self to say something to me directly instead of sneaking around like you talking to me where I'm at. What? She also another post. She. I was restricted. I know. I just restricted that stupid bitch Kim Kardashian. Wait, she really wilding. I'm already through with Rihanna. Your turn hiding bitch. Stop begging for a look, girl. The people is.
Tam Bam
Girl, she needs some help.
AJ Holiday
Yup. Yeah, the people is full. So she's, she has a $10 million bond.
Tam Bam
She not getting out and she probably. I wonder if they're going to put her in a mental facility versus a regular jail or will they just give her mental care in a regular jail whenever she's sentenced?
AJ Holiday
I don't know, man. The people is full. Let that out because I, when some, when something like that happens, I need to know that you and can never come back. Rami is that she can get out of jail, right? Let that bitch out so I can make her disappear. That's how I would feel about it if I was Rihanna. You done shot at the house with me and my kids in it.
Tam Bam
Oh yeah, but she's smart because how'd she find out where Rihanna live at? You know,
AJ Holiday
you a pet detective. You gonna find whoever like she, she's. That's how stalking goes. Everybody is accessible. There's no hiding anymore. Yeah, all of our information is online. You know, if you're smart like me, I, I, if I were a millionaire even like now, I, I wouldn't have like stuff in my name. You know what I'm saying? Like I still use my daddy address. Girl, y' all end up at my daddy house, gonna be like what you want. And like, you're supposed to put your property in a trust. Every property you own supposed to be under LLC or, or in a trust. Like, why is anything in Rihanna Fenty's name?
Tam Bam
It might not have been in her name. It might not even be in her name. She might have found out where she was going to be at and then followed her. You know, shit like that. You never know.
AJ Holiday
People wild people are nuts.
Tam Bam
Speaking of nuts, Dallas Cowboy quarterback Dak Prescott called off his wedding after his fiance Jane Ramos, allegedly refused to sign a prenup. Dak is worth 250 to $300 million.
AJ Holiday
Yeah.
Tam Bam
What you thought she take my money when I'm in need? That's what it makes me think of.
AJ Holiday
The Kanye trifling. Indeed.
Tam Bam
Listen, I wasn't sad about it because, I mean, I want that to be with his sister. No shade. But would you have signed? I would have signed that so quick.
AJ Holiday
Yes. I still got access, right. I would never have a problem leaving a relationship with what I came with, you know, including children. Okay, I didn't come in a relationship with one. I'm leaving them with you.
Tam Bam
The I would have signed that she was gonna. I think they might even still turn around and make it work, you know?
AJ Holiday
No, I mean, this is a power move, I guess. You know, I'm pretty sure he didn't just spring it on her day before the wedding. I'm pretty sure she knew what time it was the whole time. Why would he not sign a prenuptial agreement? And to me, why would you not sign it? To me, that shows your intent. Because problem with you signing it. Like, if you were the one with $200 million, would you not want to protect it? Yeah, I love you, but happens. So why you as the woman who does not nearly have, you know, that type of money, why wouldn't you sign a prenuptial agreement unless you had ill intent you showing you don't love him by not signing?
Tam Bam
Or maybe the agreement was just not fair or something. I don't know. I want to.
AJ Holiday
Yeah.
Tam Bam
Are you gonna leave with that Honda Civic and that's it? God damn. I gotta give all my clothes back and all my jewelry. Like, you know, that's what Mayweather do to his girls.
AJ Holiday
That's a broke. That's a broke rich.
Tam Bam
You only borrowing this. It's not yours.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, like, and you gonna have the next wearing my robe and rings. Like what right And a will.
Tam Bam
Okay.
AJ Holiday
The next one will definitely be in your drip.
Tam Bam
I already said in deck. Dms. Hey, I'm sorry you going through that. I'm so sorry.
AJ Holiday
Sign right here. I wouldn't give a. I'mma be stacking your paper regardless. Because you going to give me money in the relationship, period. Like, it cannot be in a prenup that I gotta turn over my bank accounts, bank statements. You know, the weird like. So my stepdaddy that be giving my mama money every month and he likes to give her cash. It's like something men just like. Cash. They just had. Like to have wads of cash for no reason, maybe, who ain't never had growing up. Like the money is a symbol or something.
Tam Bam
Right? It feels good. Yeah.
AJ Holiday
He will come put this cash on it on the dresser every month. And I'd be like, I wouldn't give a. But then she just stacks it. She doesn't put it in the bank either. She just be stacking his money. So he's always checking her little stash to see if she spends it. And what she doing with the money that he gives her. She just be stacking his money.
Tam Bam
But not in the house. It's somewhere else for you motherfuckers listening. It's not at the house. Ain't no cash there, bitch. Don't even try it.
AJ Holiday
Don't even try because I cannot wait to stew a. Anyway, so Adina Howard said the reason her second album didn't get released is because she was in an engagement with entanglement. Oh, entanglement. Okay, I was tripping. So when I read this before, I thought I said engagement. Okay, got it. It was all fair game. Got it. Okay. Sorry. Was in an entanglement with. You said one year, right? With one year from boys. I mean, the nicer looking one, right? Didn't he walk with the cane? Is that him?
Tam Bam
I think you're talking about Sean.
AJ Holiday
Oh, he died, though. The guy who used to use the cane? He did, I think. So am I. Did I get a nigga who never died before?
Tam Bam
I think. I think all boys, men living. But don't get me wrong,
AJ Holiday
Boys, man. While he was in a relationship with Brandy. So Adina Howard and Brandi was sharing Dick. This is interesting. So Adida and Brandy were both on the same label. And their boss, Silver Roan, who was the head of the label, told Adina to end her affair and focus on her album. And she said no and cursed her own boss out. So how you got a boss on a label? I don't know what that is. Anyway, so Silva pulled the plug on her whole album, and her career was over. And Silver Silva elevated Brandy's career. The song Boy is Mine was about her beef with Adina, Believe it or not. They finally released Adena Howard's album decades later, called Fantasy island on streaming platforms in 2021. If you want to go and check it out, I am going to go check the album out because I used to be singing Dina Howard on Yahoo. Yahoo Chat rooms.
Tam Bam
I want a free cinema.
AJ Holiday
Yes.
Tam Bam
First of all, you was. Both of us was far too young to be singing that. Don't even know what the hell we singing about.
AJ Holiday
I gotta calculate, because I did.
Tam Bam
No, you did not. At that time. That song. Do you know when that song came out? You do not know what was going on.
AJ Holiday
I don't have. At least once.
Tam Bam
Oh, my.
AJ Holiday
Y' all ain't in eighth grade. I'm tripping. No, no, I definitely had sex in eighth grade. Okay, so if it came out around that time.
Tam Bam
Yeah, I think it was still before then, but I don't. Based on what this says, I don't feel like you. The reason was the entanglement. It said you cussed out your boss.
AJ Holiday
Right.
Tam Bam
That's why you. That's why you up. It wasn't the. It was. It's just not a good idea to cuss your boss out.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, because why did you tell me to end my relationship, though? That's why the boss got cussed out. Because whose business is this? And why you ain't telling Brandy to end the relationship?
Tam Bam
No, I agree. No, I agree there.
AJ Holiday
But she got cussed out because you telling a grown woman to end a relationship.
Tam Bam
Yeah, I guess maybe they were friends, perhaps. I thought they were. But I guess you could cuss out your friend if y' all were talking like that. But. All right, so I read that they were. Now I' ma say this. Quiet. Allegedly, Wanye and Adina were 22 at the time, and Brandy was 16 years old.
AJ Holiday
Oh,
Tam Bam
so there. I don't know how true that is.
AJ Holiday
I was just about to say some that changed, but I changed my mind a little bit because I was about to say, like, ain't no way Brandi pussy better than Adina Howard's. But. But you know about a kid, first of all.
Tam Bam
But they say crazy is better than regular. And you know, she done killed a couple people.
AJ Holiday
Oh, Brandi.
Tam Bam
Yeah, Brandy. I feel like she killed a couple people. Right.
AJ Holiday
She might be a serial killer.
Tam Bam
And then they say she took that I out from immature yes, he took a eye out. She killed a couple. We probably need to stop talking about this.
AJ Holiday
As a matter of fact,
Tam Bam
straight up,
AJ Holiday
I feel uncomfortable a little bit because I already know they mama don't play.
Tam Bam
So let's move on. What we talking about today, y'? All?
AJ Holiday
Okay, so I don't know. I follow Duvall. I love Duvall. Right. So recently on Duvall's page, he put up a post. One of the polls said he thinks it's easier for women to break out with men. Right. I don't agree with that. Did I say women to break up with men? Right. Yeah. So then the other post said, what's the easiest way to break up with a woman that ain't cheat on you, but you just don't like no more? Right. And then his caption says, women do it all the time like it's nothing, but I don't think they realize how much harder it is for men. Because y' all swear just because y' all don't cheat, that makes you a good woman when it's first, when it's furthest from the truth. So I'm curious, because I don't think there's no good way I'll be trying to read how people type them. I don't think there's no good way to do it without looking like a jerk. So this sparked the conversation, me and my homegirl and the guy she's dating, because I'm like, you know, like, as far as, like, breaking up, you know, it's always. I think, again, I think it's different when we talk about. Well, we don't get into the conversation after the break. All right, we'll be right back.
Podcast Narrator
You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought up Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the bfg. But did you know he was also a spy?
AJ Holiday
Was this before he wrote his stories?
Tam Bam
It must have been.
Podcast Narrator
Our new podcast series, the Secret World of Roald Dahl is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life. His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans.
Tam Bam
What?
Podcast Narrator
And he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either.
AJ Holiday
Okay, I don't think that's true.
Podcast Narrator
I'm telling you, the guy was a spy. Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelts, played poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman. And then he took his talents to high Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film. How did the Secret Agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever. And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids? The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Wells Adams
Hey, this is Wells Adams with By Order of the Faithful Faithfuls Podcast alongside my fellow faithfuls and co hosts Tamara Judge and Dolores Catania. The three of us have been watching this season of the Traders. And we've been inside that castle, so we have insight unlike many others. This season of the Traders may be the best we've ever seen. Listen to By Order The Faithfuls on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow by order the Faithfuls and start listening on the free iHeartRadio app today.
Tam Bam
Segregation in the day, Integration at night.
Narrator/Host
When segregation was the law, one mysterious black club owner had his own rules.
AJ Holiday
We didn't worry about what was going on outside. It was like stepping in another world.
Narrator/Host
Inside Charlie's Place, black and white people danced together. But not everyone was happy about it.
AJ Holiday
You saw the kkk. Yeah, they was dressed up in their uniform. The KKK set out to raid Charlie, take him away from here.
Tam Bam
Charlie was an example of power. They had to crush him.
Narrator/Host
From Atlas Obscura, Rococo Punch and visit Myrtle beach comes Charlie's Place, a story that was nearly lost to time until now. With listen to Charlie's Place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
AJ Holiday
Ambitious, well intentioned, ferocious and wealthy mother looks like in the Black community this Women's History Month the podcast Keep It Posit Sweetie celebrates the power of women, choosing healing, purpose and faith. Even when life gets messy, Love. It's not a destination. You have to work on it every day. Keep it positive. Sweetie creates space for honest conversations on self worth, love, growth and navigating life with grace and grit, led by women who uplift, inspire and tell the truth out loud. I have several conversations with God and I know why it took 20 years to hear this and more. Listen to Keep It Pies as sweetie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. It's the new me and it's the old them. Everybody's on their journey and your journey is different to theirs. This Women's History Month, the podcast if youf Knew Better with Amber Grimes spotlights women who turn missteps into momentum and lessons into power.
Amber Grimes
I think coming out of where I
Tam Bam
came from, I'm from the Bronx.
Amber Grimes
I think I grew up really poor. I didn't know that then. Cause I very much use my creativity to romanticize life. And I'm like, my mom did a really good job of, like, you step back and you're like, whoa, We. I don't know how we made it. So a lot of my life was, like, built out of, like, survival to get to the next place. Like, my drive, my, like, tunnel vision of, like, I gotta be better, I gotta achieve this was off the strengths of, like, I wanna make a better life for us.
AJ Holiday
If you knew better brings real talk from women who've lived it, unpacking, career pivots, relationship lessons, and the mindset shifts that changed everything. Listen to if you knew better with Amber grimes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. All right, y', all, we're back. Okay, so back to what I was saying. I think men do not physically leave relationships more than women do. Right. And I think oftentimes men, they'll stay in situations that are no longer serving them, you know, because obligations, kids, whatever, but they definitely complete in their happiness someplace else. Okay? So they just not staying in a thing, unhappy. See, women will end relationships because they're not happy. Right, Right. And on this same post, I commented and I said, so what? I mean, because I'm just reading the comments, I'm like, so am I hearing that is easier for men to stay and complete their happiness elsewhere than it is just to get out of there? And the men started eating me up. So apparently, yeah. But I'm trying to figure out why. Why do I think that's a good thing? Get out the relationship if you don't want to be there because you both are miserable at this point.
Tam Bam
That is weird to me. Like, why day? I mean, sometimes a lot of times people say, and men and women, it's for the children, for the kids. I don't want to be like my daddy. I don't want to walk. Walk out on my family like my dad did.
AJ Holiday
Well, let's talk about just boyfriend, girlfriend situations. Let's not even add. Add the. The marriage thing in there yet. Right? So we just talk about two. Two people. Boyfriend, girlfriend. I have left several n. I can't say I've actually been left by a man. But I'm pretty sure these men also had grievances with me. Right. That they probably looked past to stay in a relationship. I just feel like the shit that I had to compromise on was way bigger than anything I could be doing. To them, the things that women have to deal with to keep and maintain relationships. Men would never. We're talking about cheating, gambling, who, low dick, what else? We be having to deal with all
Tam Bam
type of shit, you know, all kind of shit. Baby mama drama.
AJ Holiday
Yeah. And it's not like we're leaving day one. A lot of times it's five years later when a woman finally leaves a man. And my just remember we had our daddies on. My daddy is 75 years old and still to this day, he does not consider that he's the reason why him and my mom's marriage ends. He sees her as the one who left the marriage. Not the fact that the nigga was coming home with blonde weave on him from the fucking juke joint down the street and shit like that. That wasn't what ended their relationship. In his mind, she left. That's what ended the relationship. Now when we throw the marriage in there, yes, women, we always filing the paperwork like we do everything else. But men, y' all are definitely physically, mentally and emotionally leaving relationships.
Tam Bam
Absolutely. Absolutely.
AJ Holiday
Physically leave relationships. We leave mentally first.
Tam Bam
That's because men will go get a side quick and be just as content and come home like ain't bothering them because they're fulfilled somewhere else. But it's just like, why do that? I wish we should have had a on to explain, but they ain't going to come on here and tell the truth.
AJ Holiday
They not. They gonna come on here and gaslight us. And we can't all be having the same, like men in our lives at some point or another. I can't say every man I've ever dealt with was like the same in all aspects. But one of them motherfuckers is pretty similar. Like, I got traumatized by the same shit in a couple relationships. Babies just lying other like it's the same over and over again.
Tam Bam
It was mostly other women. But like my last serious relationship, it wasn't always the baby mama drama. The baby mama drama that was our biggest thing. But then there was my mouth. Nick can't handle my mouth.
AJ Holiday
But you're doing things to make me evoke my mouth. Like, like, right. It just like it Black women, our words just. They're just different. They just feel like somebody punch you in the face. We don't have to physically put our hands on you. Like some men beat women up. You know why? Because a beat and said some shit that felt like he got spit on. You know, so they don't like, if I lose words, I might hit you. If we arguing And I. Around the stutter, I might slap you.
Tam Bam
Right, that part.
AJ Holiday
So I get it.
Tam Bam
If you was winning. Are you winning? Yeah.
AJ Holiday
I'm gonna hit you, or I'm gonna just bust out crying. There's a manipulation.
Tam Bam
Right.
AJ Holiday
If I'm talking about, you know, what a man. I might just start crying. Yeah.
Tam Bam
If I run out of. If I run out of point, if I run out of points.
AJ Holiday
I miss my grandma. But that is few and far in between. I never run out of points because I got a counter for anything you think I did wrong, I got a counter for it.
Tam Bam
You sound toxic.
AJ Holiday
A little t bit. A little bit. I mean, what's the problem? But today we're asking a question that might make some people uncomfortable, but that is what we're here for. Okay, but who actually settles more in relationships, men or women? Because everybody, you know, likes to say they never settle. But to be honest, I think most people are compromising on something. But who does it the most? Because online, the men, you know, they say they. They endure a lot of pain and suffering in relationships too. But it's usually just the women who are loud and vocal about their experiences and relationships. And then you got bitches calling men sassy when they. They start.
Tam Bam
But what are the men really settling on?
AJ Holiday
Yeah, that's what I want to get into. And we. And what are the women actually settling on? You know? So this article, I read it said that women tend to settle for behavior. Okay. Many studies show women often tolerate things like poor communication, lack of emotional availability, unequal domestic labor, cheating, or disrespect. It says research from relationship psychology often finds women perform more emotional labor in relationships, trying to maintain harmony, fix problems, and keep the relationship intact. Yeah, it's men that say they want peace. Right. Because this does not sound peaceful. And. And it sounds like me. This is how I felt relationships before. Right. So women sometimes stay longer trying to repair a relationship, even when unhappy. And an example of settling. He's not emotionally available, but he's a good provider, and we think that he'll change eventually.
Tam Bam
You gotta do the work. That's what I'll be telling the nigga. But they don't ever want to.
AJ Holiday
But what is the work? That's what you always come back with. What is the work?
Tam Bam
I used to say that season one, season two, season three, but I'm understanding what the work is. I recently asked somebody, like, had they ever had therapy before? Because they communicated like a child to me, you know, like, when it was time to communicate, they just was like, either shut down completely or was combative. The. That was the only two ways they communicated. And you know, you in a relationship, you're going to disagree. You're not always going to agree on everything. But anytime a disagreement happens, it doesn't have to be combative or shut down. Like, do you want a bitch to just follow you around aimlessly and just do everything you say and that's it.
AJ Holiday
They don't want that either because that is who they're cheating with. They're cheating with the bitch who give them hell, who give them something to deal with while they marry. Oftentimes a safe, easy person. Right.
Tam Bam
All right, so it's. It.
AJ Holiday
Boundaries. They want boundaries too. They don't want. I don't think men want somebody they can. They say they think that's what they want until they get that. And then now you're in a situation with somebody who's. Who can't make a decision about anything. You. Everybody's going to get tired of having to be the one with the answers all the time.
Tam Bam
All the time.
AJ Holiday
Man or woman.
Tam Bam
I agree. All right. So it says men tend to settle for attraction or compatibility. Some psychological research suggests men are more likely to settle when they feel pressure to marry. They want stability or family. They fear losing a partner. Men may stay with someone they not deeply compatible with emotionally, especially if the relationship is confident, comfortable. It meets practical needs like home, family, and sex. And an example of settling for men. She's nice and stable, but I'm not deeply in love. This is good enough.
AJ Holiday
Do you want to be a good enough woman for a man?
Tam Bam
That makes me think of this nigga. We was all sitting at a bar and his wife went to go grab some more drinks. And he compared his wife to a reliable Honda. I will never forget that shit. He said. She ain't no Mercedes Benz, but she's damn sure a reliable Honda. Yeah.
AJ Holiday
So he is not who he. He's not with who he wanted. He married safe, basically. Right. He might have married who he thought he could have children with and who would be a good mom. But she probably not the finest to him either.
Tam Bam
She.
AJ Holiday
He probably not that physically attracted to her for real. And I think that income and money, men usually get closer to what they actually want the more money they have to purchase that thing. And when I'm talking about women, because we are commodities. Fuck what y' all niggas talking about. Klissy is a commodity for sure. And the more money a man has, he has more access to different. Different women, different caliber of women. And so that just goes back to people dating and marrying based on their self esteem essentially. And we already know most men put their, their value literally in their pocket.
Tam Bam
Well, I feel like it ain't just most men. I feel like the world does that to men too, right? Or America. Did I snort? Sorry. I don't know. I don't know what happened there. It was an accident. But I just do feel like that like the world does put a lot of pressure on men to be providers. Like, but I feel like.
AJ Holiday
But it's the world, right? So other men are also a part of that world, right?
Tam Bam
Yeah, I agree.
AJ Holiday
It's women putting the pressure on men. It's other men who can provide that also put the pressure on men who can't.
Tam Bam
Oh yeah, absolutely.
AJ Holiday
Without even saying anything.
Tam Bam
If you like dating a who got less money than your last and you see your last, he gonna be like, What if he say, boo, I had that happen to me before. What? This was like, you still got all the jury I bought you. You ain't got no new jewelry. He ain't bought you no new Jerry. And I told my. And he got me some new jewelry immediately after that period.
AJ Holiday
Okay, because why didn't you. Why, why am I, why am I still walking around with some other jewelry?
Tam Bam
Right?
AJ Holiday
Motivation. One on one that I got like
Tam Bam
a 23000 necklace after that.
AJ Holiday
So the article also says men often separate physical attraction from. From relationship stability. Okay, so psychologists have observed that men frequently distinguish between short term attraction and long term partners suitability for long term relationships. Many men prioritize peace, loyalty, emotional support, stability, compatibility in daily life. Meaning the woman they marry might not always be the woman they felt the most intense physical attraction toward. Okay, so men sometimes marry the woman who makes life easier, not the woman who gave them the biggest butterflies.
Tam Bam
Reliable Honda.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, that's essentially what we just was saying.
Tam Bam
Yeah, so. But don't call me that even if that's what it is. Don't ever speak that out loud.
AJ Holiday
You know, I just feel like. And what did he look like? What? What? What?
Tam Bam
Would you have an unreliable pinto face ass nigga?
AJ Holiday
Yes. And the nerve of some. It's like I always say this, men are way more shallow than women. I don't give a damn what y' all say because oftentimes you will not catch a super fine ass man with his whole together with a basic ass woman. Right?
Tam Bam
Unless she got that back. Let me tell you, one of my
AJ Holiday
co workers, you're right.
Tam Bam
I used to work at this place And I don't want to say where it was because this person might listen to the show, but she was unfortunate looking. I'll just say that like she had really, really bad acne. Like she'd just be sitting there in a bump. Would just pop on her face in a mid conversation.
AJ Holiday
Like seriously girl, if you listening, we sorry.
Tam Bam
I'm sorry, friend. What? I hope you cleared that up, friend. I love you. You nice person.
AJ Holiday
She work, she played on witches, bro, it was bad.
Tam Bam
And her man was so fine. I'm talking about this man was gorgeous and I was like this uninteresting looking couple. I never said anything, but once I got to talking to her more and she was like, yeah, I pay his cell phone bill, I pay his car insurance. You know, I do this for him, I do that for him. And then that's when it all made sense to me. Like, yeah, he's a cap. He don't have to work for himself because you're doing everything interesting.
AJ Holiday
And he probably cheating too with the woman he actually wants. Probably don't have to give him to even. Not even. I mean give him, but just give a relationship period. Just a nothing ass bitch that might look good with some fire ass head, right?
Tam Bam
And that's it. That's all she had to do. Meanwhile you paying bills and cell phone bills and working double shifts.
AJ Holiday
She better than me because what? So men are hypergamous, right? As much as they try to convince women, and in particular black women, that we be asking for too much, our black men are hypergamous. Okay, so when oftentimes if you see a black woman dating outside her race, she probably got her life together. When you see a black man, oftentimes he trying to come up, man, you gotta get. He trying to buy something the credit up. Like he's using women to climb this social pole. Like social circumstances, status. Like he's using women to do that, but it's, it's frowned upon. We are supposed to do that because we have to raise children. We are supposed to try to find the, the best mate to do that with, right? If we were really operating how we're supposed to operate. Like if you can't take care of your family, why are we having children? Why are you having a child with a man who hasn't proven to you that he can take care of a family?
Tam Bam
That part. Now this one, it says women tend to require attraction for commitment. But I don't know how true this one is. It says women usually look for a combination of attraction, emotional safety, ambition, or competence and compatibility if the attraction piece is missing. Many women struggle to move forward romantically. And it says a lot of women will say if I'm not attracted to him, it's not happening. But I know a lot of you thinking physical.
AJ Holiday
We attracted to men for other things other than aesthetics. Men are attracted to women.
Tam Bam
Okay. Okay. That's what I'm talking. That's what I'm thinking about because I
AJ Holiday
know fine ass ugly. Yeah, yeah. I love a fine ass ugly. It's plenty of them out here too.
Tam Bam
Yeah,
AJ Holiday
all that. Like you be fine and ugly with a bag like that. Think he the now he giving you hell just like a super fine ass man would. And now, now I understand it now
Tam Bam
because he's not even ugly no more with all that money and all the
AJ Holiday
want him because of you. Because what you doing with him? Because what he didn't know what he doing for you.
Tam Bam
That part.
AJ Holiday
So women make men more attractive to other women. It ain't y'. All. Okay. So I think that, I mean I, I do have to be attracted to you and I and it. And it may, you know, you may not be the finest person to my friend group, but you fine as hell to me. That's all that we need. I think that. So I don't really if they're talking about aesthetics in this, in this article. I don't think that's true about, about women. I think they're talking about overall, like just attractability, like likability, like just a man's aura. Yeah. We gotta be attracted to them or
Tam Bam
else it just feels disgusting or funny. A funny. I take a funny over a fine, quick fine. But no personality. But medium ugly and funny. I'm taking him not would you between those two.
AJ Holiday
I like. Yeah, I like funny men. If we can't talk on the phone for hours about some shit and you be saying funny shit, I don't like what we gon. It's not fun.
Tam Bam
Yeah, I agree.
AJ Holiday
This also says women historically couldn't afford to choose poorly. This is exactly what the fuck I was just saying. Right? You cannot afford to choose poorly. Historically, women had more to lose from choosing the wrong partner. Pregnancy risk, economic dependence, safety concerns. Because of this, attraction often had to be paired with competence and stability which shaped how women evaluate partners even today. And I don't think we're using the standards anymore. We're not evaluating our partners, you know, properly. Because if we were like, there would be men in every household. You would be partnering with men who, who put marriage and family at the forefront. Not like a nigga who got a couple babies already someplace else, and now you getting pregnant with the third.
Tam Bam
But, you know, I just feel like a lot of these men, you know, they grew up in a household with no daddy, so it's just like, shit, that's normal. But also not in hindsight. Also, there are a lot of millennial men who want to be better fathers because of the absence of their own.
AJ Holiday
Yeah, because, I mean, most of the men that I know personally, they take care of their kids.
Tam Bam
I don't know. No. That don't take care of their kids.
AJ Holiday
I would like to see more in the house, though, because, I mean, not all of them are in the house, but they take care of their kids. You know, I even. I got a couple friends, guy friends that are single dads, you know, like, they became baby mamas overnight.
Tam Bam
I can't wait to make a. A baby mama.
AJ Holiday
And look, the. The crazy thing is, like, they oftentimes got more money than their peers. Most of my homegirls with kids got more money than me.
Tam Bam
Like.
AJ Holiday
Like when you have a kid, like, you gotta get it. I think that's why I don't have that much hustle like that. Like, because I had to get it. I had to hustle for nobody but yourself.
Tam Bam
Yeah, like, la, la, la.
AJ Holiday
The mamas be getting it. So this also says age and dating market also matters. People settle differently depending on life stage. Women often settle when biological clock pressure, desire for family instability, fewer perceived partner options. Men often settle when they're ready for stability. They don't want to start over. They fear loneliness later in life. I think men just marry whoever they happen to be with when they're at that time. Yes. Okay, women actually, we may. We. I think women actually can see ourselves marrying any every we done been with. Like, I could. I can make this work.
Tam Bam
Yeah. Because why am I here if I can't, you know?
AJ Holiday
Exactly. I think women. Women be trying to make shit work.
Tam Bam
So the.
AJ Holiday
This goes back to Duvall's post. Why if a man is not happy, get the fuck up out of there. Women do not. Oh. Somebody commented. Commented to me and said that men can't leave a relationship just because they're not happy. Women just leaves relationships because they're not happy. Oftentimes we're unhappy because we've endured a lot of things that made us unhappy. Five years later, I'm finally leaving. Finally. And this is like, even relationships where there's no children, no marriage involved, this is just boyfriend, girlfriend shit. You didn't marry me. We not moving forward and we be having a bunch of bullshit going on in a relationship. Yes, I'm leaving. But men will, will see that as abandonment. I have my ex fiance say I abandon him.
Tam Bam
Am I a man?
AJ Holiday
Could you imagine a terrorist saying that I abandoned him? That's fucking nuts to me.
Tam Bam
That's mental illness.
AJ Holiday
So you just supposed, as a woman, you're just supposed to, supposed to deal with. You're just supposed to keep dealing, keep dealing, keep dealing, keep dealing like your mama is supposed to love you unconditionally. And God for your woman to do.
Tam Bam
That's it.
AJ Holiday
That is not for your woman to do. God don't even love unconditionally because he'll punish your ass. Yeah, he will punish you. Okay? So yeah, you cannot expect that type of out of a woman. Only your mother. He's going to have unconditional love for you.
Tam Bam
He'll still love you in the punishment, but he will punish you.
AJ Holiday
But that violent God was knocking off in the Bible.
Tam Bam
That was the world.
AJ Holiday
And, and women are who on the planet. Y' all better be careful.
Tam Bam
So it says the real answer. Most relationship researchers say both genders settle just in different ways. Women more often compromise on emotional treatment, effort and behavior. And men often, often compromise on compatibility, emotional connection and attraction.
AJ Holiday
So most women are married to men who don't think they're attractive no more.
Tam Bam
I think it's no more. Like at one point, you know, had them babies, your stomach look like balled up homework, your titties hanging low. You, you know,
AJ Holiday
get your money up and get your woman a mommy makeover.
Tam Bam
Right? Cuz you did that to her body. Yes.
AJ Holiday
Yes. Get y' all worrying about getting y' all dick sucked. And your woman is mentally and physically weary. Okay? So if she's not good, like now they, I know they've changed the whole thing to happy life, happy wife. Right now it's happy, happy home, something wherever the men want to add they self in there. Listen, women, we got, we are very powerful. Y' all gotta make sure we okay. Your kids is gonna be fucked up if we not okay. You gonna be fucked up if we not okay the earth. The earth gonna be fucked up if women are not okay. It just is what it is. And, and, and the men who get it, get it. Okay, your bag. The money that you think you're gonna, you gotta have before you get the wife. It comes with the wife. Get you a wife. This comedian I follow this nigga named Vincent, I think he from St. Louis to. He's so brilliant with the comedy, right? So he was talking about Paul Pierce being on that podcast. And Paul Pierce was, you know, basically talk about how he's not going to get married. And. And the nigga was like, this is bad advice. Because most of the men that's listening to you, most of the people that subscribe into these podcasts, they. The only way they go ever reach the certain level of financial status that they want is through partnership, is through marriage, right? So he was like, n. You don't got no rings. Maybe if you would have gave somebody ring, you would have got a ring.
Tam Bam
Boom.
AJ Holiday
LeBron been married to Savannah his whole. The whole time. Damn that. He been in the league. How many rings he got? Colby, okay? Steph Curry motherfucking Michael Jordan. Even though he was cheating, he got hella rings. You gotta give a bitch a ring to get a ring.
Tam Bam
I believe all them niggas cheat on
AJ Holiday
the low, but the empowers, this whole thing, though. That's why I said even the most seemingly successful single man often has a trail of broken women behind him, whose energy he has usurped to get to where he's at. Like, we are the portal to all the things to creativity, all of that shit. Like men really just the muscle. You know what I'm saying? You got to get a woman.
Tam Bam
Okay, I definitely agree.
AJ Holiday
You got to get a woman. Y' all gotta get. Y' all gotta get paired up. You gotta get married. Pick somebody. Pick somebody. Is somebody out here. And I. You know, just to get back on topic with the. With the episode before we get out of here. Yeah, women and men and women get it. We just not the same. Men and women aren't the same. We don't think the same. We don't. We just don't do shit the same. But it is a puzzle piece, though, that fits. So get you a good woman. Get you a good. Whatever good is.
Tam Bam
Amen.
AJ Holiday
And I don't know, maybe the question isn't who settles more? Maybe the question is what are you willing to live with? Find somebody whose you can deal with and start building. You got time to be. To be picky and choosy no more.
Tam Bam
Again. Amen.
AJ Holiday
Last. Last. That's it. We don't got no dumb storage day. You got any current dumb going on? I really don't.
Tam Bam
I do, but I ain't ready to share.
AJ Holiday
It might go viral.
Tam Bam
No, I'll save it. Yeah, the wounds are too fresh. All right, y'.
AJ Holiday
All. If y' all enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick a tam.
Tam Bam
It's official Tam bam on Instagram, y'. All. Follow me there. Follow We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. We love y' all so much. We appreciate y' all for tuning in. Remember, speak now and never hold your
AJ Holiday
options or hold your options. I'm a Gemini. Bye.
Tam Bam
This is y'. All.
AJ Holiday
We Talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
We Talk Back Podcast – “Marriage”
Episode Date: March 12, 2026
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Podcast Network: The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartPodcasts
In this raw, comedic, and unfiltered episode of "We Talk Back," hosts TamBam and AJ Holiday deep-dive into the complicated realities of relationships, breakups, and marriage through the lens of Black womanhood. While weaving in their personal stories and the day’s hot topics, the duo unpacks the truth behind who settles more in modern relationships—men or women—and what "settling" actually means in practice. The episode features plenty of laughs, hard-hitting cultural commentary, and several viral-worthy moments emblematic of TamBam and AJ’s signature repartee.
(02:34 - 08:29)
"When I tell you it feel like they was snatching my whole jaw off the side of my head... I would never do that again." – TamBam (07:00)
"I really just want to go to another dentist and have them send the X rays because I really don't feel like I needed the fillings. I really feel like they was just trying to get some extra shit..." – AJ (09:21)
(11:10 - 16:04)
"This person is clearly suffering from mental illness. Some psychosis. Rihanna put...put witchcraft on her is what she said, right?" – TamBam (12:00)
(16:08 - 24:23)
"I would never have a problem leaving a relationship with what I came with, you know, including children. Okay, I didn't come in a relationship with one. I'm leaving them with you." – AJ (16:50)
(19:49 - 24:07)
"That's why you up. It wasn't the entanglement. It's just not a good idea to cuss your boss out." – TamBam (22:36)
(24:23 - 56:56)
(24:23 - 29:37)
"I think men do not physically leave relationships more than women do...they'll stay in situations that are no longer serving them, you know, because obligations, kids, whatever, but they definitely complete in their happiness someplace else." – AJ (29:37)
Men Settle How?
"She ain't no Mercedes Benz, but she's damn sure a reliable Honda." – TamBam quoting a man (39:26)
Women Settle How?
"The things that women have to deal with to keep and maintain relationships. Men would never. We're talking about cheating, gambling, who, low dick, what else?...Baby mama drama." – AJ (31:59)
Who Leaves First?
On Unconditional Love:
"That is not for your woman to do. God don't even love unconditionally because he'll punish your ass." – AJ (52:40)
On Male Hypergamy:
"Our black men are hypergamous. When you see a black man, oftentimes he trying to come up, man, you gotta get. He trying to buy something the credit up. Like he's using women to climb this social pole...” – AJ (45:09)
Personal Standards:
"Historically, women had more to lose from choosing the wrong partner...Now, I don't think we're using the standards anymore. We're not evaluating our partners, you know, properly." – AJ (48:30)
On Compatibility:
"Maybe the question isn't who settles more? Maybe the question is what are you willing to live with? Find somebody whose you can deal with and start building." – AJ (56:59)
"My daddy is 75 years old and still to this day, he does not consider that he's the reason why him and my mom's marriage ends...In his mind, she left." – AJ (32:04)
"You gotta give a bitch a ring to get a ring." – AJ (55:32), on men needing partnership for success.
"Get your money up and get your woman a mommy makeover...Cuz you did that to her body. Yes." – TamBam & AJ (54:05–54:11)
This lively, no-holds-barred episode blends personal honesty with biting commentary on relationships, highlighting that both men and women settle—but in different ways and for different reasons. TamBam and AJ urge listeners to get honest, accept their own standards or compromises, and remember that partnership still holds power—emotionally and even financially.
Final takeaway: Don’t focus on “settling”—find what flaws you can live with, and build with someone who’s right for you.
Follow TamBam (@officialtambam), AJ Holiday (@ajholiday2.0), and We Talk Back Podcast on Instagram for more.
New episodes Thursdays on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.