Reliable...like a Honda

Summary

We Talk Back Podcast – “Marriage”
Episode Date: March 12, 2026
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Podcast Network: The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartPodcasts

---

Episode Overview

In this raw, comedic, and unfiltered episode of "We Talk Back," hosts TamBam and AJ Holiday deep-dive into the complicated realities of relationships, breakups, and marriage through the lens of Black womanhood. While weaving in their personal stories and the day’s hot topics, the duo unpacks the truth behind who settles more in modern relationships—men or women—and what "settling" actually means in practice. The episode features plenty of laughs, hard-hitting cultural commentary, and several viral-worthy moments emblematic of TamBam and AJ’s signature repartee.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Hair Struggles and Life Updates

(02:34 - 08:29)

• AJ and TamBam kick off with hair talk, natural hair care struggles, and the eternal search for the right hair products.
• Dental Tourism: TamBam recounts her dental trip to Costa Rica, sharing details of the affordable, all-in-one “dental resort” experience, from wisdom tooth extraction to veneers.

  "When I tell you it feel like they was snatching my whole jaw off the side of my head... I would never do that again." – TamBam (07:00)

• Price Transparency: TamBam reveals her procedures totaled about $1,700 (excluding stay), compared to likely $4K–5K in the U.S.
• AJ expresses mounting frustration with her own dentist, feeling scammed on fillings and dismissed when bringing up concerns about cosmetic work:

  "I really just want to go to another dentist and have them send the X rays because I really don't feel like I needed the fillings. I really feel like they was just trying to get some extra shit..." – AJ (09:21)

Celebrity News & Mental Health

(11:10 - 16:04)

• Rihanna Home Shooting: The hosts unpack disturbing news that a woman fired shots at Rihanna’s home, discussing mental illness, social media threats, and stalker access in the digital age.

  "This person is clearly suffering from mental illness. Some psychosis. Rihanna put...put witchcraft on her is what she said, right?" – TamBam (12:00)

• Discussion about celebrity home privacy: The importance of trusts, LLCs, and privacy for public figures.

Prenups, Relationships, and Settling

(16:08 - 24:23)

• Dak Prescott & Prenups: NFL Star Dak Prescott calls off his wedding after fiancée’s refusal to sign a prenuptial agreement. TamBam and AJ discuss gold-digging stereotypes and personal takes on financial agreements:

  "I would never have a problem leaving a relationship with what I came with, you know, including children. Okay, I didn't come in a relationship with one. I'm leaving them with you." – AJ (16:50)

• Gender Dynamics: The hosts agree that refusing a prenup is a red flag, and speculate whether unfair terms may also play a role.

Music Industry Tea: Adina Howard, Brandy & Entanglements

(19:49 - 24:07)

• Adina Howard's Shelved Album: Storytime about R&B singer Adina Howard’s career being derailed due to a behind-the-scenes love triangle and confrontation with her label boss.
• Humor ensues as the duo debates the timeline of “Freak Like Me,” Brandy’s rumored involvement, and Adina cussing her boss out:

  "That's why you up. It wasn't the entanglement. It's just not a good idea to cuss your boss out." – TamBam (22:36)

---

Main Theme: Who Settles More in Relationships—Men or Women?

(24:23 - 56:56)

Trigger: Lil Duval’s Social Media Poll

(24:23 - 29:37)

• A post sparks debate on whether it's easier for women to break up with men, and who is more likely to settle in a relationship.

  "I think men do not physically leave relationships more than women do...they'll stay in situations that are no longer serving them, you know, because obligations, kids, whatever, but they definitely complete in their happiness someplace else." – AJ (29:37)

Deep Dive: Patterns of Settling

Men Settle How?

• For stability, household needs, kids, or fear of being alone.
• May marry women they see as “safe”—referred to humorously as “a reliable Honda.”

  "She ain't no Mercedes Benz, but she's damn sure a reliable Honda." – TamBam quoting a man (39:26)

Women Settle How?

• For compromise on emotional treatment, tolerating poor communication, lack of support, or even cheating, all while performing the bulk of emotional labor.
• Often leave only after years of unhappiness, but men often frame this as abandonment:

  "The things that women have to deal with to keep and maintain relationships. Men would never. We're talking about cheating, gambling, who, low dick, what else?...Baby mama drama." – AJ (31:59)

Who Leaves First?

• Women are more likely to physically end the relationship, often after mentally checking out long before.
• Men may stay physically but are emotionally or romantically checked out—often “completing their happiness elsewhere.”

Quotes & Notable Insights

• On Unconditional Love:

  "That is not for your woman to do. God don't even love unconditionally because he'll punish your ass." – AJ (52:40)

• On Male Hypergamy:

  "Our black men are hypergamous. When you see a black man, oftentimes he trying to come up, man, you gotta get. He trying to buy something the credit up. Like he's using women to climb this social pole...” – AJ (45:09)

• Personal Standards:

  "Historically, women had more to lose from choosing the wrong partner...Now, I don't think we're using the standards anymore. We're not evaluating our partners, you know, properly." – AJ (48:30)

• On Compatibility:

  "Maybe the question isn't who settles more? Maybe the question is what are you willing to live with? Find somebody whose you can deal with and start building." – AJ (56:59)

---

Memorable Moments & Comedic Highlights

• Dental Resort Madness: TamBam’s story about being awake for a forceful wisdom tooth extraction at a “dental spa” is both hilarious and wince-inducing. (06:14–07:41)
• Dragging Bad Exes:

  "My daddy is 75 years old and still to this day, he does not consider that he's the reason why him and my mom's marriage ends...In his mind, she left." – AJ (32:04)

• Relationship Economics: Playful banter on men comparing their wives to cars ("reliable Honda") and how money changes perception of physical attraction.
• Truth Bombs:

  "You gotta give a bitch a ring to get a ring." – AJ (55:32), on men needing partnership for success.

• Savage Advice:

  "Get your money up and get your woman a mommy makeover...Cuz you did that to her body. Yes." – TamBam & AJ (54:05–54:11)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:34–08:29 – Hair care humor and dental tourism adventures
• 11:10–16:04 – Rihanna home shooting, celebrity privacy, and mental health
• 16:08–24:23 – Dak Prescott & prenup controversy; Adina Howard’s music industry “entanglement”
• 29:37–34:43 – Who leaves first: dissecting breakups and men's tendency to "stay"
• 36:03–44:44 – Who settles more; what men and women actually compromise on, including emotional labor and attraction
• 45:09–54:11 – Hypergamy, societal expectations, money, and attraction
• 56:56–58:12 – Closing reflections and call to action

---

Conclusion

This lively, no-holds-barred episode blends personal honesty with biting commentary on relationships, highlighting that both men and women settle—but in different ways and for different reasons. TamBam and AJ urge listeners to get honest, accept their own standards or compromises, and remember that partnership still holds power—emotionally and even financially.
Final takeaway: Don’t focus on “settling”—find what flaws you can live with, and build with someone who’s right for you.

---

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “When I tell you it feel like they was snatching my whole jaw off the side of my head... I would never do that again.” – TamBam (07:00)
• “I would never have a problem leaving a relationship with what I came with, you know, including children.” – AJ (16:50)
• “That is not for your woman to do. God don't even love unconditionally because he'll punish your ass.” – AJ (52:40)
• “She ain't no Mercedes Benz, but she's damn sure a reliable Honda.” – TamBam quoting a man (39:26)
• “You gotta give a bitch a ring to get a ring.” – AJ (55:32)
• “Maybe the question isn't who settles more? Maybe the question is what are you willing to live with?” – AJ (56:59)

---

Follow TamBam (@officialtambam), AJ Holiday (@ajholiday2.0), and We Talk Back Podcast on Instagram for more.

New episodes Thursdays on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. The new Wegovy pill is now available through weight watchers. Powerful GLP1 results in a simple pill at the lowest price available. And with Weight Watchers, you can get doctor support and personalized nutrition programs. See if you [e-mail] ad not reviewed or approved by Novo Nordisk.

[Podcast Narrator]

You know Roald Dahl, he thought of Willy Wonka in the bfg. But did you know he was a spy? In the new podcast, the Secret World of Roald Dahl, I'll tell you that story and much, much more.

[AJ Holiday]

What?

[Podcast Narrator]

You probably won't believe it either.

[AJ Holiday]

Was this before you wrote his stories? It must have been okay. I don't think that's true.

[Podcast Narrator]

I'm telling you, the guy was a spy. Listen to the Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm Clayton Eckerd. In 2022, I was the lead of ABC's the Bachelor. But here's the thing. Bachelor fans hated him. If I could press a button and

[Podcast Narrator]

rewind it all, I would.

[AJ Holiday]

That's when his life took a disturbing turn. A one night stand would end in a courtroom. The media is here.

[Tam Bam]

This case has gone viral.

[AJ Holiday]

The dating contract. Agree to date me, but I'm also suing you. This is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I'm Stephanie Young. Listen to Love trapped on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Narrator/Host]

When segregation was a law, one mysterious black club owner Charlie Fitzgerald had his own rules.

[Tam Bam]

Segregation in the day, integration at night.

[AJ Holiday]

It was like stepping on another world.

[Narrator/Host]

Was he a businessman? A criminal?

[AJ Holiday]

A hero?

[Tam Bam]

Charlie was an example of power. They had to crush him.

[Narrator/Host]

Charlie's place from Atlas Obscura and visit Myrtle Beach. Listen to Charlie's place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[WSECU Representative]

WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're a Forbes Best in State five years running.

[Narrator/Host]

Why?

[WSECU Representative]

Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is is investing you. Visit wsecu.org today to learn more. Washington let's credit union.

[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'. All. It's Tam Bam. I love y' all so much. Thank y' all for coming back again. One more. Again. How you doing, aj?

[AJ Holiday]

Is it bad hair day Thursday?

[Tam Bam]

If you could see what was under this ain't no tracks. I got. I got, like, literally the Sherman Hensley wears tracks just above my ear and below. The whole top is out.

[AJ Holiday]

Shane. My hair looks so crunchy. I ordered some new off Instagram. I don't know how many different hair products I've tried off there, but this time I'm gonna just throw all the shit I got away and stick to. Try to stick to one product, and it's just two products from the same line and see what happens, because I am ready to just chop this shit off and start anew again.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna take this out tonight after we finish, and I'm gonna put on a U part wig for a couple for the rest of the week.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And see, I could do you part, but my hair breaks off so easily with heat. Like, one week of heat, my shit is done with. So I can't. I can't really even use that much heat. So I just really don't manipulate my hair that much, but then it's dry. You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

Why don't you do, like, a you part that has, like, curly hair so you can, like, blend your natural hair in? You could do that. Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

I need to make me a nice little. You got a nice little you part. But I have been looking for beautician locally so I can start getting my hair treated. Because, man, I don't know if some of the natural girlies be struggling, but I struggle with moisture retention. So my be crying chi, I need a treatment. I need something.

[Tam Bam]

Well, you can do that at home, and you could get you a little assistant.

[AJ Holiday]

If I gotta pay for it, it'll get done.

[Tam Bam]

That's opposite of typically how you are the hair.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't be feeling like it when I make three wigs a year, bitch. And that be it. Literally, like, I make three to four wigs a year, and that's it. I order hair twice a year, and I be it for real, like, low maintenance when it comes to the hair. Shit, bitch, you see me hat wig. Anyway, that order my weekend was uneventful. Y' all know I'll be doing shit. I did go outside a little tiny bit just to eat that's about it. And this weekend was actually Charleston Food and Wine Festival, but I missed ticket sales, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

That should be a hundred and like 200 a day for this. But it's really nice.

[Tam Bam]

I saw it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I might with it next year or maybe I can get me some free. See the content. Girlies and guy guys be getting free tickets to that because I'm like, how the hell y' all be there every year? But you know, they create content for the festival and get free tickets.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you just got to create more content so they can be like, don't start with us.

[AJ Holiday]

Right, right. So maybe next year. But I did much. I just ate good. And that's it. What you had going on?

[Tam Bam]

Well, I was in Costa Rica, you guys, and I got the full shebang I told you all about. I got. I needed two fillings. I needed a crown. I got a veneer, not a whole veneer. They ain't shaved. My tooth is like a veneer rising or something like that. And they put it on top and then I got a wisdom tooth extracted.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, that's what you. That. When you sent me the picture, I did ask. I don't think you responded if that was a wisdom tooth, because that's what it looked like.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it was a wisdom tooth. Big ass wisdom tooth impacted. It was to the side. And that felt like. Because I didn't get put to sleep. And my dentist here in the States was like, when you get that taken out, you should get it put. You should go to sleep for that. You know you're going to have to go to sleep for that. And then Costa Rica was like, no, no, no. We can do for you, baby. When I tell you it feel like they was snatching my whole jaw off the side of my head. Like the pray it didn't hurt, but it was just so much tugging and yanking. And if you're not mentally like, I could. I. I would never do that again. I'll say that. Felt it.

[AJ Holiday]

But you really didn't feel it.

[Tam Bam]

I couldn't feel the pain. I could just feel the pressure of someone trying to snatch a tooth out the side of my face. Oh, it was a lot. But they had me on the best drugs Costa Rica got. I bet. But it was a cool experience. It was like a. Almost like a. No, not almost like. It was literally a dental resort because they had a restaurant, they had a spa. They had part like a club night on Wednesday night where they. There's like a country club that the bus from the resort will Take you to the club and bring you back. And then like you just get your dental work done. And it was filled with nothing but white Americans.

[AJ Holiday]

Interesting. How much would you say you spent?

[Tam Bam]

So to get all that shit done was probably like seventeen hundred dollars.

[AJ Holiday]

Including the state or that separate.

[Tam Bam]

No, the state was separate. The state was. It was like $90 a night.

[AJ Holiday]

And so I've never had like a like major mouth shit that I have gotten my wisdom tooth taken out. I was a teenager, I should all four of mine been gone. But I did just get a fill in. But with my insurance it was like 80 deductible or something like that.

[Tam Bam]

That wasn't bad for one feeling. But if you, you got a veneer. Yeah. With all the amount of stuff I got, you're looking at a good four or five thousand dollars, maybe even more, you know. So it was a fraction. It was like 60 to 70% less than American prices. So it just makes sense if you want like a. I'm a teeth person though. So I'm all about, yeah, taking care of my grill.

[AJ Holiday]

I need some shit done right now because it's the fucking dentist here, man. I just don't have the mental capacity to custom out right now.

[Narrator/Host]

But.

[AJ Holiday]

And it's a black dentist, a girl, a woman. And I just feel like, you know, I was asking her about cosmetic stuff. Like some things I wanted. Like somehow, somehow this feeling got chipped at some point. I don't know when, but I've had this shit since 2017. So how did it get chipped? While y' all were cleaning my tooth. I didn't realize it until I got home.

[Tam Bam]

Damn, they chipped it. Cleaning it is crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And then.

[Tam Bam]

And didn't say nothing.

[AJ Holiday]

Nope. Then the filling that they did do in the back of my mouth, like I could feel it, it's not smooth. And now I got hella sensitivity on it. So I just. And other things I was asking her about with my teeth, she was real dismissive of, you know what I'm saying? So I'm already annoyed. I don't want to have to call this bitch and be like, hey bitch, you fuck my mouth up, but you should. I really just want to go to another dentist and have them send the X rays because I really don't feel like I needed the, the, the fillings. I really feel like they was just trying to get some extra shit because the dental hygienist, she kept asking me like, but what's your routine? Your teeth look so good. Yeah, I don't. Come here Bitch. Okay, I went to the eye doctor. Now I can't see. I literally be taking care of myself. So I have to see y' all because y' all don't heal people. Y' all don't fix people. People to where they don't have to. Now come back and with you.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, well, I mean, there's a lot of people out there mouth nasty as hell, and they need to see the dentist, though.

[AJ Holiday]

You don't go either. But I take care of my. And don't go.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Floss and blush. Brush your teeth. Can do a lot, right?

[Tam Bam]

I agree. But no, because I still had cavities. Even I brush regularly. It's just. I don't know. So let me tell y' all this, because it was a lot of people in the DMs asking me about where I went. It's Dr. Marco Muniz Cavallini International Dental Clinic. And that's Marco M A R C O Muniz M U N O Z Cavallini C A V A L L I N I International Dental Clinic. And tell them Tammy sent you. You ain't gonna get no discount, but just mention it so I can get one when I come back, period.

[AJ Holiday]

Tell her we talk back. Sent you. Oh, let's get. This is what we got going on, man. So I didn't really, like, do a D. I haven't had time this week to, like, really look at the world. A lot of things I have been intentionally not lending my energy to. And then it's like, you know, I might come across some and see what's going on. But what the hell is up with this person who's allegedly invaded Rihanna's house or tried to.

[Tam Bam]

Like, she was shooting at the house. She put eight rounds into Rihanna's house, four into the gate, and then four into the actual house. This person is clearly suffering from mental illness. Some psychosis Rihanna put.

[AJ Holiday]

Put witchcraft on her is what she said, right?

[Tam Bam]

And Rihanna is trying to kill her. And, you know, that just takes me back to that girl. Like, I remember. Remember that girl? Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't say her name, girl.

[Tam Bam]

I'm not saying her bitch name. But, yeah, like, people really be having mental illness, and they have concocted some story in their mind, and they think that you're after them. It's crazy. And this girl is so cute, too. Ain't she cute?

[AJ Holiday]

She is. So it says. Reports continue to surface after a suspect was identified in connection with gunfire outside of Rihanna's Beverly Hills home over the weekend. Authorities say the woman allegedly Responsible also shared several concerning posts about the singer on social media in weeks leading up to the incident. According to the police, the suspect was identified as the 35 year old Ivana Ortez. Investigators say she was arrested and booked on suspicion of attempted murder after shots reportedly fired at Rihanna's 14 million dollar mansion while the singer was in. Oh God, she was in the house.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, she was home with her damn kids. You know, that's crazy because if something would have happened, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

The incidents quickly sparked conversation online as details about the suspect began circulating. Some of those details include multiple social media posts that appear to reference Rihanna and other celebrities. Anyway, so yeah, she's saying that she claims that Rihanna is basically after her. I mean she look fool because look at his wig.

[Tam Bam]

That blonde wig do look crazy. That blonde wig tells it all. It tells a story for sure.

[AJ Holiday]

What she, she, she tweeted Rihanna once and said this is on February 23rd at Baggar. Riri, are you there? Because I was waiting for your aids 5 head self to say something to me directly instead of sneaking around like you talking to me where I'm at. What? She also another post. She. I was restricted. I know. I just restricted that stupid bitch Kim Kardashian. Wait, she really wilding. I'm already through with Rihanna. Your turn hiding bitch. Stop begging for a look, girl. The people is.

[Tam Bam]

Girl, she needs some help.

[AJ Holiday]

Yup. Yeah, the people is full. So she's, she has a $10 million bond.

[Tam Bam]

She not getting out and she probably. I wonder if they're going to put her in a mental facility versus a regular jail or will they just give her mental care in a regular jail whenever she's sentenced?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know, man. The people is full. Let that out because I, when some, when something like that happens, I need to know that you and can never come back. Rami is that she can get out of jail, right? Let that bitch out so I can make her disappear. That's how I would feel about it if I was Rihanna. You done shot at the house with me and my kids in it.

[Tam Bam]

Oh yeah, but she's smart because how'd she find out where Rihanna live at? You know,

[AJ Holiday]

you a pet detective. You gonna find whoever like she, she's. That's how stalking goes. Everybody is accessible. There's no hiding anymore. Yeah, all of our information is online. You know, if you're smart like me, I, I, if I were a millionaire even like now, I, I wouldn't have like stuff in my name. You know what I'm saying? Like I still use my daddy address. Girl, y' all end up at my daddy house, gonna be like what you want. And like, you're supposed to put your property in a trust. Every property you own supposed to be under LLC or, or in a trust. Like, why is anything in Rihanna Fenty's name?

[Tam Bam]

It might not have been in her name. It might not even be in her name. She might have found out where she was going to be at and then followed her. You know, shit like that. You never know.

[AJ Holiday]

People wild people are nuts.

[Tam Bam]

Speaking of nuts, Dallas Cowboy quarterback Dak Prescott called off his wedding after his fiance Jane Ramos, allegedly refused to sign a prenup. Dak is worth 250 to $300 million.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

What you thought she take my money when I'm in need? That's what it makes me think of.

[AJ Holiday]

The Kanye trifling. Indeed.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, I wasn't sad about it because, I mean, I want that to be with his sister. No shade. But would you have signed? I would have signed that so quick.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. I still got access, right. I would never have a problem leaving a relationship with what I came with, you know, including children. Okay, I didn't come in a relationship with one. I'm leaving them with you.

[Tam Bam]

The I would have signed that she was gonna. I think they might even still turn around and make it work, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

No, I mean, this is a power move, I guess. You know, I'm pretty sure he didn't just spring it on her day before the wedding. I'm pretty sure she knew what time it was the whole time. Why would he not sign a prenuptial agreement? And to me, why would you not sign it? To me, that shows your intent. Because problem with you signing it. Like, if you were the one with $200 million, would you not want to protect it? Yeah, I love you, but happens. So why you as the woman who does not nearly have, you know, that type of money, why wouldn't you sign a prenuptial agreement unless you had ill intent you showing you don't love him by not signing?

[Tam Bam]

Or maybe the agreement was just not fair or something. I don't know. I want to.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Are you gonna leave with that Honda Civic and that's it? God damn. I gotta give all my clothes back and all my jewelry. Like, you know, that's what Mayweather do to his girls.

[AJ Holiday]

That's a broke. That's a broke rich.

[Tam Bam]

You only borrowing this. It's not yours.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like, and you gonna have the next wearing my robe and rings. Like what right And a will.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

The next one will definitely be in your drip.

[Tam Bam]

I already said in deck. Dms. Hey, I'm sorry you going through that. I'm so sorry.

[AJ Holiday]

Sign right here. I wouldn't give a. I'mma be stacking your paper regardless. Because you going to give me money in the relationship, period. Like, it cannot be in a prenup that I gotta turn over my bank accounts, bank statements. You know, the weird like. So my stepdaddy that be giving my mama money every month and he likes to give her cash. It's like something men just like. Cash. They just had. Like to have wads of cash for no reason, maybe, who ain't never had growing up. Like the money is a symbol or something.

[Tam Bam]

Right? It feels good. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

He will come put this cash on it on the dresser every month. And I'd be like, I wouldn't give a. But then she just stacks it. She doesn't put it in the bank either. She just be stacking his money. So he's always checking her little stash to see if she spends it. And what she doing with the money that he gives her. She just be stacking his money.

[Tam Bam]

But not in the house. It's somewhere else for you motherfuckers listening. It's not at the house. Ain't no cash there, bitch. Don't even try it.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't even try because I cannot wait to stew a. Anyway, so Adina Howard said the reason her second album didn't get released is because she was in an engagement with entanglement. Oh, entanglement. Okay, I was tripping. So when I read this before, I thought I said engagement. Okay, got it. It was all fair game. Got it. Okay. Sorry. Was in an entanglement with. You said one year, right? With one year from boys. I mean, the nicer looking one, right? Didn't he walk with the cane? Is that him?

[Tam Bam]

I think you're talking about Sean.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, he died, though. The guy who used to use the cane? He did, I think. So am I. Did I get a nigga who never died before?

[Tam Bam]

I think. I think all boys, men living. But don't get me wrong,

[AJ Holiday]

Boys, man. While he was in a relationship with Brandy. So Adina Howard and Brandi was sharing Dick. This is interesting. So Adida and Brandy were both on the same label. And their boss, Silver Roan, who was the head of the label, told Adina to end her affair and focus on her album. And she said no and cursed her own boss out. So how you got a boss on a label? I don't know what that is. Anyway, so Silva pulled the plug on her whole album, and her career was over. And Silver Silva elevated Brandy's career. The song Boy is Mine was about her beef with Adina, Believe it or not. They finally released Adena Howard's album decades later, called Fantasy island on streaming platforms in 2021. If you want to go and check it out, I am going to go check the album out because I used to be singing Dina Howard on Yahoo. Yahoo Chat rooms.

[Tam Bam]

I want a free cinema.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

First of all, you was. Both of us was far too young to be singing that. Don't even know what the hell we singing about.

[AJ Holiday]

I gotta calculate, because I did.

[Tam Bam]

No, you did not. At that time. That song. Do you know when that song came out? You do not know what was going on.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't have. At least once.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, my.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all ain't in eighth grade. I'm tripping. No, no, I definitely had sex in eighth grade. Okay, so if it came out around that time.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I think it was still before then, but I don't. Based on what this says, I don't feel like you. The reason was the entanglement. It said you cussed out your boss.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

That's why you. That's why you up. It wasn't the. It was. It's just not a good idea to cuss your boss out.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because why did you tell me to end my relationship, though? That's why the boss got cussed out. Because whose business is this? And why you ain't telling Brandy to end the relationship?

[Tam Bam]

No, I agree. No, I agree there.

[AJ Holiday]

But she got cussed out because you telling a grown woman to end a relationship.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I guess maybe they were friends, perhaps. I thought they were. But I guess you could cuss out your friend if y' all were talking like that. But. All right, so I read that they were. Now I' ma say this. Quiet. Allegedly, Wanye and Adina were 22 at the time, and Brandy was 16 years old.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh,

[Tam Bam]

so there. I don't know how true that is.

[AJ Holiday]

I was just about to say some that changed, but I changed my mind a little bit because I was about to say, like, ain't no way Brandi pussy better than Adina Howard's. But. But you know about a kid, first of all.

[Tam Bam]

But they say crazy is better than regular. And you know, she done killed a couple people.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, Brandi.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, Brandy. I feel like she killed a couple people. Right.

[AJ Holiday]

She might be a serial killer.

[Tam Bam]

And then they say she took that I out from immature yes, he took a eye out. She killed a couple. We probably need to stop talking about this.

[AJ Holiday]

As a matter of fact,

[Tam Bam]

straight up,

[AJ Holiday]

I feel uncomfortable a little bit because I already know they mama don't play.

[Tam Bam]

So let's move on. What we talking about today, y'? All?

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so I don't know. I follow Duvall. I love Duvall. Right. So recently on Duvall's page, he put up a post. One of the polls said he thinks it's easier for women to break out with men. Right. I don't agree with that. Did I say women to break up with men? Right. Yeah. So then the other post said, what's the easiest way to break up with a woman that ain't cheat on you, but you just don't like no more? Right. And then his caption says, women do it all the time like it's nothing, but I don't think they realize how much harder it is for men. Because y' all swear just because y' all don't cheat, that makes you a good woman when it's first, when it's furthest from the truth. So I'm curious, because I don't think there's no good way I'll be trying to read how people type them. I don't think there's no good way to do it without looking like a jerk. So this sparked the conversation, me and my homegirl and the guy she's dating, because I'm like, you know, like, as far as, like, breaking up, you know, it's always. I think, again, I think it's different when we talk about. Well, we don't get into the conversation after the break. All right, we'll be right back.

[Podcast Narrator]

You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought up Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the bfg. But did you know he was also a spy?

[AJ Holiday]

Was this before he wrote his stories?

[Tam Bam]

It must have been.

[Podcast Narrator]

Our new podcast series, the Secret World of Roald Dahl is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life. His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans.

[Tam Bam]

What?

[Podcast Narrator]

And he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, I don't think that's true.

[Podcast Narrator]

I'm telling you, the guy was a spy. Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelts, played poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman. And then he took his talents to high Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film. How did the Secret Agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever. And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids? The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Wells Adams]

Hey, this is Wells Adams with By Order of the Faithful Faithfuls Podcast alongside my fellow faithfuls and co hosts Tamara Judge and Dolores Catania. The three of us have been watching this season of the Traders. And we've been inside that castle, so we have insight unlike many others. This season of the Traders may be the best we've ever seen. Listen to By Order The Faithfuls on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow by order the Faithfuls and start listening on the free iHeartRadio app today.

[Tam Bam]

Segregation in the day, Integration at night.

[Narrator/Host]

When segregation was the law, one mysterious black club owner had his own rules.

[AJ Holiday]

We didn't worry about what was going on outside. It was like stepping in another world.

[Narrator/Host]

Inside Charlie's Place, black and white people danced together. But not everyone was happy about it.

[AJ Holiday]

You saw the kkk. Yeah, they was dressed up in their uniform. The KKK set out to raid Charlie, take him away from here.

[Tam Bam]

Charlie was an example of power. They had to crush him.

[Narrator/Host]

From Atlas Obscura, Rococo Punch and visit Myrtle beach comes Charlie's Place, a story that was nearly lost to time until now. With listen to Charlie's Place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[AJ Holiday]

Ambitious, well intentioned, ferocious and wealthy mother looks like in the Black community this Women's History Month the podcast Keep It Posit Sweetie celebrates the power of women, choosing healing, purpose and faith. Even when life gets messy, Love. It's not a destination. You have to work on it every day. Keep it positive. Sweetie creates space for honest conversations on self worth, love, growth and navigating life with grace and grit, led by women who uplift, inspire and tell the truth out loud. I have several conversations with God and I know why it took 20 years to hear this and more. Listen to Keep It Pies as sweetie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. It's the new me and it's the old them. Everybody's on their journey and your journey is different to theirs. This Women's History Month, the podcast if youf Knew Better with Amber Grimes spotlights women who turn missteps into momentum and lessons into power.

[Amber Grimes]

I think coming out of where I

[Tam Bam]

came from, I'm from the Bronx.

[Amber Grimes]

I think I grew up really poor. I didn't know that then. Cause I very much use my creativity to romanticize life. And I'm like, my mom did a really good job of, like, you step back and you're like, whoa, We. I don't know how we made it. So a lot of my life was, like, built out of, like, survival to get to the next place. Like, my drive, my, like, tunnel vision of, like, I gotta be better, I gotta achieve this was off the strengths of, like, I wanna make a better life for us.

[AJ Holiday]

If you knew better brings real talk from women who've lived it, unpacking, career pivots, relationship lessons, and the mindset shifts that changed everything. Listen to if you knew better with Amber grimes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. All right, y', all, we're back. Okay, so back to what I was saying. I think men do not physically leave relationships more than women do. Right. And I think oftentimes men, they'll stay in situations that are no longer serving them, you know, because obligations, kids, whatever, but they definitely complete in their happiness someplace else. Okay? So they just not staying in a thing, unhappy. See, women will end relationships because they're not happy. Right, Right. And on this same post, I commented and I said, so what? I mean, because I'm just reading the comments, I'm like, so am I hearing that is easier for men to stay and complete their happiness elsewhere than it is just to get out of there? And the men started eating me up. So apparently, yeah. But I'm trying to figure out why. Why do I think that's a good thing? Get out the relationship if you don't want to be there because you both are miserable at this point.

[Tam Bam]

That is weird to me. Like, why day? I mean, sometimes a lot of times people say, and men and women, it's for the children, for the kids. I don't want to be like my daddy. I don't want to walk. Walk out on my family like my dad did.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, let's talk about just boyfriend, girlfriend situations. Let's not even add. Add the. The marriage thing in there yet. Right? So we just talk about two. Two people. Boyfriend, girlfriend. I have left several n. I can't say I've actually been left by a man. But I'm pretty sure these men also had grievances with me. Right. That they probably looked past to stay in a relationship. I just feel like the shit that I had to compromise on was way bigger than anything I could be doing. To them, the things that women have to deal with to keep and maintain relationships. Men would never. We're talking about cheating, gambling, who, low dick, what else? We be having to deal with all

[Tam Bam]

type of shit, you know, all kind of shit. Baby mama drama.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And it's not like we're leaving day one. A lot of times it's five years later when a woman finally leaves a man. And my just remember we had our daddies on. My daddy is 75 years old and still to this day, he does not consider that he's the reason why him and my mom's marriage ends. He sees her as the one who left the marriage. Not the fact that the nigga was coming home with blonde weave on him from the fucking juke joint down the street and shit like that. That wasn't what ended their relationship. In his mind, she left. That's what ended the relationship. Now when we throw the marriage in there, yes, women, we always filing the paperwork like we do everything else. But men, y' all are definitely physically, mentally and emotionally leaving relationships.

[Tam Bam]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[AJ Holiday]

Physically leave relationships. We leave mentally first.

[Tam Bam]

That's because men will go get a side quick and be just as content and come home like ain't bothering them because they're fulfilled somewhere else. But it's just like, why do that? I wish we should have had a on to explain, but they ain't going to come on here and tell the truth.

[AJ Holiday]

They not. They gonna come on here and gaslight us. And we can't all be having the same, like men in our lives at some point or another. I can't say every man I've ever dealt with was like the same in all aspects. But one of them motherfuckers is pretty similar. Like, I got traumatized by the same shit in a couple relationships. Babies just lying other like it's the same over and over again.

[Tam Bam]

It was mostly other women. But like my last serious relationship, it wasn't always the baby mama drama. The baby mama drama that was our biggest thing. But then there was my mouth. Nick can't handle my mouth.

[AJ Holiday]

But you're doing things to make me evoke my mouth. Like, like, right. It just like it Black women, our words just. They're just different. They just feel like somebody punch you in the face. We don't have to physically put our hands on you. Like some men beat women up. You know why? Because a beat and said some shit that felt like he got spit on. You know, so they don't like, if I lose words, I might hit you. If we arguing And I. Around the stutter, I might slap you.

[Tam Bam]

Right, that part.

[AJ Holiday]

So I get it.

[Tam Bam]

If you was winning. Are you winning? Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm gonna hit you, or I'm gonna just bust out crying. There's a manipulation.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

If I'm talking about, you know, what a man. I might just start crying. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

If I run out of. If I run out of point, if I run out of points.

[AJ Holiday]

I miss my grandma. But that is few and far in between. I never run out of points because I got a counter for anything you think I did wrong, I got a counter for it.

[Tam Bam]

You sound toxic.

[AJ Holiday]

A little t bit. A little bit. I mean, what's the problem? But today we're asking a question that might make some people uncomfortable, but that is what we're here for. Okay, but who actually settles more in relationships, men or women? Because everybody, you know, likes to say they never settle. But to be honest, I think most people are compromising on something. But who does it the most? Because online, the men, you know, they say they. They endure a lot of pain and suffering in relationships too. But it's usually just the women who are loud and vocal about their experiences and relationships. And then you got bitches calling men sassy when they. They start.

[Tam Bam]

But what are the men really settling on?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's what I want to get into. And we. And what are the women actually settling on? You know? So this article, I read it said that women tend to settle for behavior. Okay. Many studies show women often tolerate things like poor communication, lack of emotional availability, unequal domestic labor, cheating, or disrespect. It says research from relationship psychology often finds women perform more emotional labor in relationships, trying to maintain harmony, fix problems, and keep the relationship intact. Yeah, it's men that say they want peace. Right. Because this does not sound peaceful. And. And it sounds like me. This is how I felt relationships before. Right. So women sometimes stay longer trying to repair a relationship, even when unhappy. And an example of settling. He's not emotionally available, but he's a good provider, and we think that he'll change eventually.

[Tam Bam]

You gotta do the work. That's what I'll be telling the nigga. But they don't ever want to.

[AJ Holiday]

But what is the work? That's what you always come back with. What is the work?

[Tam Bam]

I used to say that season one, season two, season three, but I'm understanding what the work is. I recently asked somebody, like, had they ever had therapy before? Because they communicated like a child to me, you know, like, when it was time to communicate, they just was like, either shut down completely or was combative. The. That was the only two ways they communicated. And you know, you in a relationship, you're going to disagree. You're not always going to agree on everything. But anytime a disagreement happens, it doesn't have to be combative or shut down. Like, do you want a bitch to just follow you around aimlessly and just do everything you say and that's it.

[AJ Holiday]

They don't want that either because that is who they're cheating with. They're cheating with the bitch who give them hell, who give them something to deal with while they marry. Oftentimes a safe, easy person. Right.

[Tam Bam]

All right, so it's. It.

[AJ Holiday]

Boundaries. They want boundaries too. They don't want. I don't think men want somebody they can. They say they think that's what they want until they get that. And then now you're in a situation with somebody who's. Who can't make a decision about anything. You. Everybody's going to get tired of having to be the one with the answers all the time.

[Tam Bam]

All the time.

[AJ Holiday]

Man or woman.

[Tam Bam]

I agree. All right. So it says men tend to settle for attraction or compatibility. Some psychological research suggests men are more likely to settle when they feel pressure to marry. They want stability or family. They fear losing a partner. Men may stay with someone they not deeply compatible with emotionally, especially if the relationship is confident, comfortable. It meets practical needs like home, family, and sex. And an example of settling for men. She's nice and stable, but I'm not deeply in love. This is good enough.

[AJ Holiday]

Do you want to be a good enough woman for a man?

[Tam Bam]

That makes me think of this nigga. We was all sitting at a bar and his wife went to go grab some more drinks. And he compared his wife to a reliable Honda. I will never forget that shit. He said. She ain't no Mercedes Benz, but she's damn sure a reliable Honda. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So he is not who he. He's not with who he wanted. He married safe, basically. Right. He might have married who he thought he could have children with and who would be a good mom. But she probably not the finest to him either.

[Tam Bam]

She.

[AJ Holiday]

He probably not that physically attracted to her for real. And I think that income and money, men usually get closer to what they actually want the more money they have to purchase that thing. And when I'm talking about women, because we are commodities. Fuck what y' all niggas talking about. Klissy is a commodity for sure. And the more money a man has, he has more access to different. Different women, different caliber of women. And so that just goes back to people dating and marrying based on their self esteem essentially. And we already know most men put their, their value literally in their pocket.

[Tam Bam]

Well, I feel like it ain't just most men. I feel like the world does that to men too, right? Or America. Did I snort? Sorry. I don't know. I don't know what happened there. It was an accident. But I just do feel like that like the world does put a lot of pressure on men to be providers. Like, but I feel like.

[AJ Holiday]

But it's the world, right? So other men are also a part of that world, right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I agree.

[AJ Holiday]

It's women putting the pressure on men. It's other men who can provide that also put the pressure on men who can't.

[Tam Bam]

Oh yeah, absolutely.

[AJ Holiday]

Without even saying anything.

[Tam Bam]

If you like dating a who got less money than your last and you see your last, he gonna be like, What if he say, boo, I had that happen to me before. What? This was like, you still got all the jury I bought you. You ain't got no new jewelry. He ain't bought you no new Jerry. And I told my. And he got me some new jewelry immediately after that period.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, because why didn't you. Why, why am I, why am I still walking around with some other jewelry?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Motivation. One on one that I got like

[Tam Bam]

a 23000 necklace after that.

[AJ Holiday]

So the article also says men often separate physical attraction from. From relationship stability. Okay, so psychologists have observed that men frequently distinguish between short term attraction and long term partners suitability for long term relationships. Many men prioritize peace, loyalty, emotional support, stability, compatibility in daily life. Meaning the woman they marry might not always be the woman they felt the most intense physical attraction toward. Okay, so men sometimes marry the woman who makes life easier, not the woman who gave them the biggest butterflies.

[Tam Bam]

Reliable Honda.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's essentially what we just was saying.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, so. But don't call me that even if that's what it is. Don't ever speak that out loud.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I just feel like. And what did he look like? What? What? What?

[Tam Bam]

Would you have an unreliable pinto face ass nigga?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And the nerve of some. It's like I always say this, men are way more shallow than women. I don't give a damn what y' all say because oftentimes you will not catch a super fine ass man with his whole together with a basic ass woman. Right?

[Tam Bam]

Unless she got that back. Let me tell you, one of my

[AJ Holiday]

co workers, you're right.

[Tam Bam]

I used to work at this place And I don't want to say where it was because this person might listen to the show, but she was unfortunate looking. I'll just say that like she had really, really bad acne. Like she'd just be sitting there in a bump. Would just pop on her face in a mid conversation.

[AJ Holiday]

Like seriously girl, if you listening, we sorry.

[Tam Bam]

I'm sorry, friend. What? I hope you cleared that up, friend. I love you. You nice person.

[AJ Holiday]

She work, she played on witches, bro, it was bad.

[Tam Bam]

And her man was so fine. I'm talking about this man was gorgeous and I was like this uninteresting looking couple. I never said anything, but once I got to talking to her more and she was like, yeah, I pay his cell phone bill, I pay his car insurance. You know, I do this for him, I do that for him. And then that's when it all made sense to me. Like, yeah, he's a cap. He don't have to work for himself because you're doing everything interesting.

[AJ Holiday]

And he probably cheating too with the woman he actually wants. Probably don't have to give him to even. Not even. I mean give him, but just give a relationship period. Just a nothing ass bitch that might look good with some fire ass head, right?

[Tam Bam]

And that's it. That's all she had to do. Meanwhile you paying bills and cell phone bills and working double shifts.

[AJ Holiday]

She better than me because what? So men are hypergamous, right? As much as they try to convince women, and in particular black women, that we be asking for too much, our black men are hypergamous. Okay, so when oftentimes if you see a black woman dating outside her race, she probably got her life together. When you see a black man, oftentimes he trying to come up, man, you gotta get. He trying to buy something the credit up. Like he's using women to climb this social pole. Like social circumstances, status. Like he's using women to do that, but it's, it's frowned upon. We are supposed to do that because we have to raise children. We are supposed to try to find the, the best mate to do that with, right? If we were really operating how we're supposed to operate. Like if you can't take care of your family, why are we having children? Why are you having a child with a man who hasn't proven to you that he can take care of a family?

[Tam Bam]

That part. Now this one, it says women tend to require attraction for commitment. But I don't know how true this one is. It says women usually look for a combination of attraction, emotional safety, ambition, or competence and compatibility if the attraction piece is missing. Many women struggle to move forward romantically. And it says a lot of women will say if I'm not attracted to him, it's not happening. But I know a lot of you thinking physical.

[AJ Holiday]

We attracted to men for other things other than aesthetics. Men are attracted to women.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. Okay. That's what I'm talking. That's what I'm thinking about because I

[AJ Holiday]

know fine ass ugly. Yeah, yeah. I love a fine ass ugly. It's plenty of them out here too.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah,

[AJ Holiday]

all that. Like you be fine and ugly with a bag like that. Think he the now he giving you hell just like a super fine ass man would. And now, now I understand it now

[Tam Bam]

because he's not even ugly no more with all that money and all the

[AJ Holiday]

want him because of you. Because what you doing with him? Because what he didn't know what he doing for you.

[Tam Bam]

That part.

[AJ Holiday]

So women make men more attractive to other women. It ain't y'. All. Okay. So I think that, I mean I, I do have to be attracted to you and I and it. And it may, you know, you may not be the finest person to my friend group, but you fine as hell to me. That's all that we need. I think that. So I don't really if they're talking about aesthetics in this, in this article. I don't think that's true about, about women. I think they're talking about overall, like just attractability, like likability, like just a man's aura. Yeah. We gotta be attracted to them or

[Tam Bam]

else it just feels disgusting or funny. A funny. I take a funny over a fine, quick fine. But no personality. But medium ugly and funny. I'm taking him not would you between those two.

[AJ Holiday]

I like. Yeah, I like funny men. If we can't talk on the phone for hours about some shit and you be saying funny shit, I don't like what we gon. It's not fun.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I agree.

[AJ Holiday]

This also says women historically couldn't afford to choose poorly. This is exactly what the fuck I was just saying. Right? You cannot afford to choose poorly. Historically, women had more to lose from choosing the wrong partner. Pregnancy risk, economic dependence, safety concerns. Because of this, attraction often had to be paired with competence and stability which shaped how women evaluate partners even today. And I don't think we're using the standards anymore. We're not evaluating our partners, you know, properly. Because if we were like, there would be men in every household. You would be partnering with men who, who put marriage and family at the forefront. Not like a nigga who got a couple babies already someplace else, and now you getting pregnant with the third.

[Tam Bam]

But, you know, I just feel like a lot of these men, you know, they grew up in a household with no daddy, so it's just like, shit, that's normal. But also not in hindsight. Also, there are a lot of millennial men who want to be better fathers because of the absence of their own.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because, I mean, most of the men that I know personally, they take care of their kids.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. No. That don't take care of their kids.

[AJ Holiday]

I would like to see more in the house, though, because, I mean, not all of them are in the house, but they take care of their kids. You know, I even. I got a couple friends, guy friends that are single dads, you know, like, they became baby mamas overnight.

[Tam Bam]

I can't wait to make a. A baby mama.

[AJ Holiday]

And look, the. The crazy thing is, like, they oftentimes got more money than their peers. Most of my homegirls with kids got more money than me.

[Tam Bam]

Like.

[AJ Holiday]

Like when you have a kid, like, you gotta get it. I think that's why I don't have that much hustle like that. Like, because I had to get it. I had to hustle for nobody but yourself.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, like, la, la, la.

[AJ Holiday]

The mamas be getting it. So this also says age and dating market also matters. People settle differently depending on life stage. Women often settle when biological clock pressure, desire for family instability, fewer perceived partner options. Men often settle when they're ready for stability. They don't want to start over. They fear loneliness later in life. I think men just marry whoever they happen to be with when they're at that time. Yes. Okay, women actually, we may. We. I think women actually can see ourselves marrying any every we done been with. Like, I could. I can make this work.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Because why am I here if I can't, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. I think women. Women be trying to make shit work.

[Tam Bam]

So the.

[AJ Holiday]

This goes back to Duvall's post. Why if a man is not happy, get the fuck up out of there. Women do not. Oh. Somebody commented. Commented to me and said that men can't leave a relationship just because they're not happy. Women just leaves relationships because they're not happy. Oftentimes we're unhappy because we've endured a lot of things that made us unhappy. Five years later, I'm finally leaving. Finally. And this is like, even relationships where there's no children, no marriage involved, this is just boyfriend, girlfriend shit. You didn't marry me. We not moving forward and we be having a bunch of bullshit going on in a relationship. Yes, I'm leaving. But men will, will see that as abandonment. I have my ex fiance say I abandon him.

[Tam Bam]

Am I a man?

[AJ Holiday]

Could you imagine a terrorist saying that I abandoned him? That's fucking nuts to me.

[Tam Bam]

That's mental illness.

[AJ Holiday]

So you just supposed, as a woman, you're just supposed to, supposed to deal with. You're just supposed to keep dealing, keep dealing, keep dealing, keep dealing like your mama is supposed to love you unconditionally. And God for your woman to do.

[Tam Bam]

That's it.

[AJ Holiday]

That is not for your woman to do. God don't even love unconditionally because he'll punish your ass. Yeah, he will punish you. Okay? So yeah, you cannot expect that type of out of a woman. Only your mother. He's going to have unconditional love for you.

[Tam Bam]

He'll still love you in the punishment, but he will punish you.

[AJ Holiday]

But that violent God was knocking off in the Bible.

[Tam Bam]

That was the world.

[AJ Holiday]

And, and women are who on the planet. Y' all better be careful.

[Tam Bam]

So it says the real answer. Most relationship researchers say both genders settle just in different ways. Women more often compromise on emotional treatment, effort and behavior. And men often, often compromise on compatibility, emotional connection and attraction.

[AJ Holiday]

So most women are married to men who don't think they're attractive no more.

[Tam Bam]

I think it's no more. Like at one point, you know, had them babies, your stomach look like balled up homework, your titties hanging low. You, you know,

[AJ Holiday]

get your money up and get your woman a mommy makeover.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Cuz you did that to her body. Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Get y' all worrying about getting y' all dick sucked. And your woman is mentally and physically weary. Okay? So if she's not good, like now they, I know they've changed the whole thing to happy life, happy wife. Right now it's happy, happy home, something wherever the men want to add they self in there. Listen, women, we got, we are very powerful. Y' all gotta make sure we okay. Your kids is gonna be fucked up if we not okay. You gonna be fucked up if we not okay the earth. The earth gonna be fucked up if women are not okay. It just is what it is. And, and, and the men who get it, get it. Okay, your bag. The money that you think you're gonna, you gotta have before you get the wife. It comes with the wife. Get you a wife. This comedian I follow this nigga named Vincent, I think he from St. Louis to. He's so brilliant with the comedy, right? So he was talking about Paul Pierce being on that podcast. And Paul Pierce was, you know, basically talk about how he's not going to get married. And. And the nigga was like, this is bad advice. Because most of the men that's listening to you, most of the people that subscribe into these podcasts, they. The only way they go ever reach the certain level of financial status that they want is through partnership, is through marriage, right? So he was like, n. You don't got no rings. Maybe if you would have gave somebody ring, you would have got a ring.

[Tam Bam]

Boom.

[AJ Holiday]

LeBron been married to Savannah his whole. The whole time. Damn that. He been in the league. How many rings he got? Colby, okay? Steph Curry motherfucking Michael Jordan. Even though he was cheating, he got hella rings. You gotta give a bitch a ring to get a ring.

[Tam Bam]

I believe all them niggas cheat on

[AJ Holiday]

the low, but the empowers, this whole thing, though. That's why I said even the most seemingly successful single man often has a trail of broken women behind him, whose energy he has usurped to get to where he's at. Like, we are the portal to all the things to creativity, all of that shit. Like men really just the muscle. You know what I'm saying? You got to get a woman.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, I definitely agree.

[AJ Holiday]

You got to get a woman. Y' all gotta get. Y' all gotta get paired up. You gotta get married. Pick somebody. Pick somebody. Is somebody out here. And I. You know, just to get back on topic with the. With the episode before we get out of here. Yeah, women and men and women get it. We just not the same. Men and women aren't the same. We don't think the same. We don't. We just don't do shit the same. But it is a puzzle piece, though, that fits. So get you a good woman. Get you a good. Whatever good is.

[Tam Bam]

Amen.

[AJ Holiday]

And I don't know, maybe the question isn't who settles more? Maybe the question is what are you willing to live with? Find somebody whose you can deal with and start building. You got time to be. To be picky and choosy no more.

[Tam Bam]

Again. Amen.

[AJ Holiday]

Last. Last. That's it. We don't got no dumb storage day. You got any current dumb going on? I really don't.

[Tam Bam]

I do, but I ain't ready to share.

[AJ Holiday]

It might go viral.

[Tam Bam]

No, I'll save it. Yeah, the wounds are too fresh. All right, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All. If y' all enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick a tam.

[Tam Bam]

It's official Tam bam on Instagram, y'. All. Follow me there. Follow We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. We love y' all so much. We appreciate y' all for tuning in. Remember, speak now and never hold your

[AJ Holiday]

options or hold your options. I'm a Gemini. Bye.

[Tam Bam]

This is y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

We Talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.