We Talk Back - "Masculinity in Crisis Mode" Featuring Terry Capleton

Release Date: July 24, 2025
Hosts: TamBam & A.J. Holiday
Guest: Terry Capleton
Produced by: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

Introduction

In this compelling episode of "We Talk Back," hosts TamBam and A.J. Holiday engage in an in-depth conversation about the current state of masculinity, exploring whether it is indeed in crisis. Joined by their esteemed guest, Terry Capleton, the discussion delves into various dimensions of masculinity, including societal expectations, emotional intelligence, accountability, and the unique challenges faced by Black men in America.

The Crisis of Masculinity: Statistical Insights

The conversation opens with a poignant examination of the declining indicators of masculinity among men today:

• Decline in Testosterone Levels:
  A.J. Holiday presents alarming statistics, stating, "Testosterone levels have dropped 30% since 2000, with the average 22-year-old now having lower testosterone than a 70-year-old did in the 1970s" ([16:00]). This decline is linked to broader health issues, including reduced sperm motility and fertility rates.

• Environmental and Lifestyle Factors:
  The hosts discuss how factors such as endocrine disruptors, environmental toxins, and poor dietary choices contribute to the diminishing masculinity traits. A.J. emphasizes the impact of seed oils on testosterone production, explaining, "Avoid seed oils. They alleviate your testicular temperature, lower the star gene expression, and therefore the cells which are meant to produce testosterone become lazy and unproductive" ([16:40]).

Personal Experiences and Societal Challenges

TamBam and A.J. share personal anecdotes that highlight the real-life implications of the masculinity crisis:

• Surviving Accidents and Vulnerability:
  Big T recounts the tragic loss of Malcolm Jamal Warner in Costa Rica due to drowning, touching on the dangers associated with vacations and water safety ([04:17]). A.J. adds her own experience of nearly drowning, emphasizing the importance of confidence and safety in water-related activities ([09:27]).

• Media and Stereotypes:
  The hosts critique societal stereotypes, discussing how media portrayals often misrepresent Black men, contributing to misunderstandings and heightened stress levels among men ([03:39]).

Defining Masculinity: Hosts' Perspectives

The hosts articulate their own definitions of masculinity, challenging traditional stereotypes:

• Calmness and Decisiveness:
  A.J. Holiday defines a masculine man as someone who is "calculated, calm under pressure, decisive" ([39:39]). She advocates for a balanced approach, incorporating both masculine and feminine traits to foster well-rounded individuals.

• Emotional Regulation:
  TamBam emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation and respect, asserting that masculinity is not solely about physical strength but also about being emotionally intelligent and respectful in interactions ([41:25]).

Guest Insights: Terry Capleton on Masculinity

Terry Capleton offers a nuanced perspective on the state of masculinity:

• Masculinity in Crisis:
  Terry asserts, "Masculinity is in crisis; we gotta get back to being men" ([32:10]). He discusses the urgent need for men to reclaim their roles as protectors and leaders while maintaining emotional stability.

• Protecting Women Safely:
  He believes that Black men do protect Black women but stresses the importance of situational awareness to prevent harm to themselves when intervening in violent situations ([33:11]).

• Accountability Among Men:
  Terry highlights the increasing accountability among men, especially in roles like fatherhood and provision, advocating for mutual support and respect within the community ([53:46]).

Emotional Intelligence and Masculinity

The episode delves into the critical role of emotional intelligence in redefining masculinity:

• Vulnerability as Strength:
  Both hosts and Terry agree that expressing emotions is a sign of strength rather than weakness. They discuss how societal misconceptions often lead men to internalize emotions, resulting in negative manifestations like anger ([41:25], [74:35]).

• Creating Safe Spaces:
  Terry advises providing supportive environments where men feel comfortable expressing their emotions, stating, "You provide that by being a good listener. And also by reaffirming him as he's communicating" ([74:52]).

Accountability and Communication in Relationships

A significant portion of the dialogue focuses on accountability and effective communication within relationships:

• Challenges with Accountability:
  The hosts express frustration with men not taking accountability for actions such as cheating. Terry counters by noting a growing trend of men embracing accountability, particularly concerning family responsibilities ([53:46], [57:35]).

• Effective Communication Strategies:
  Emphasizing the importance of clear and respectful dialogue, Terry advises against confrontation without understanding the full context, advocating for calling authorities in dangerous situations instead of risking personal safety ([34:15], [37:16]).

The Role of Respect and Appreciation

Respect and appreciation emerge as foundational elements in fostering healthy masculinity:

• Respect Over Love:
  Terry argues that men primarily seek respect and appreciation, which can naturally lead to love. He states, "Men want respect. Love will come from that" ([75:33]).

• Expressing Affirmations:
  The hosts discuss the significance of verbal affirmations, especially among men, to build stronger and more emotionally intelligent relationships. They emphasize the importance of saying "I love you" and showing appreciation through actions ([82:32], [85:10]).

Navigating Modern Relationships

The conversation also explores contemporary relationship dynamics and the expectations placed on men and women:

• Balancing Emotional Needs:
  TamBam and A.J. discuss the complexities of balancing emotional needs in relationships, advocating for mutual support and understanding ([50:38], [76:00]).

• Using Technology for Better Communication:
  While acknowledging the potential benefits, they caution against over-reliance on tools like AI for communication, stressing the importance of authentic, in-person dialogues ([61:15]).

Conclusion

In this insightful episode of "We Talk Back," TamBam and A.J. Holiday, alongside guest Terry Capleton, provide a comprehensive exploration of masculinity's current challenges and the pathways to redefine and reclaim healthy masculine identities. The discussion underscores the importance of emotional intelligence, accountability, respect, and effective communication in fostering a more evolved and respectful understanding of what it means to be a man today.

Notable Quotes

• A.J. Holiday [16:00]:
  "Testosterone levels have dropped 30% since 2000, with the average 22-year-old now having lower testosterone than a 70-year-old did in the 1970s."

• Terry Capleton [32:10]:
  "Masculinity is in crisis; we gotta get back to being men."

• A.J. Holiday [39:39]:
  "A masculine man is calculated, calm under pressure, decisive."

• Terry Capleton [53:46]:
  "Respect is number one. Once we lost that, you lose the man."

• Terry Capleton [75:33]:
  "Men want respect. Love will come from that."

• Terry Capleton [74:52]:
  "You provide that by being a good listener. And also by reaffirming him as he's communicating."

Connect with Terry Capleton

Follow Terry Capleton on Instagram: @AmsoCharleston

Listen to More Episodes: "We Talk Back" is available every Thursday on the Black Effect iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.