Matrimony on Acrimony

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Matrimony on Acrimony"

Podcast Information:

• Title: We Talk Back
• Hosts: TamBam and AJ Holiday
• Publication: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts
• Episode: Matrimony on Acrimony
• Release Date: June 12, 2025
• Description: Hosted by two unapologetically black women with strong opinions, TamBam and AJ navigate through topics related to femininity, relationships, sex, and personal growth with humor and candidness.

---

1. Introduction and Personal Updates

Timestamp: 02:35 - 05:40

The episode kicks off with TamBam and AJ Holiday exchanging light-hearted banter about their dental care routines. AJ humorously criticizes TamBam’s turmeric toothpaste for yellowing her teeth, leading to a playful discussion about personal grooming habits.

Notable Quote:

• AJ Holiday (03:00): "Why the fuck my shit look kind of beigey?"
• TamBam (03:15): "Turmeric going yellow anything it touches."

The conversation quickly shifts to AJ’s recent birthday weekend, where she explains why she was unable to respond to birthday wishes promptly due to a hectic schedule involving a photoshoot and dinner plans.

Notable Quote:

• AJ Holiday (04:22): "My weekend was a bunch of havoc, y' all. It was my birthday weekend."

2. Health Awareness and Men’s Neglect of Health

Timestamp: 05:40 - 16:12

TamBam and AJ delve into a serious discussion about men neglecting their health. They express frustration over stories of men avoiding medical check-ups, choosing instead to mask symptoms with over-the-counter medications like Goody Headache Powder.

Notable Quotes:

• TamBam (14:03): "I cussed them smooth the fuck out. I'm talking about bad. I called him an MF, a stupid MFer and hung up in their face."
• AJ Holiday (14:24): "Shit, everybody listening. If you are experiencing some type of pain or some type of ailment and you're just taking pain pills, go to the doctor."

They emphasize the importance of seeking professional medical help rather than self-medicating, sharing personal anecdotes about friends who suffered severe health consequences due to this neglect.

Notable Quote:

• AJ Holiday (16:12): "He had some type of stomach issues... Just having pain and just taking the medicine girl over the counter."

3. Celebrity Relationships and Betrayal

Timestamp: 16:12 - 27:26

The hosts transition to discussing high-profile relationship breakups, focusing on Kevin Hunter’s upcoming interview with Gayle King and the fallout from his divorce with Wendy Williams. They criticize Hunter’s actions, portraying him as manipulative and untrustworthy.

Notable Quotes:

• AJ Holiday (26:57): "You can't come back around me once you have betrayed me."
• TamBam (27:56): "I pray that when I actually meet my husband, we stay together forever."

They also touch on the Remy Ma and Papoose situation, lamenting the lack of respect and love in modern breakups.

Notable Quote:

• AJ Holiday (27:22): "Like, you just ice cold they ass. They're going to be a good man to the next bitch."

4. Analysis of the Movie "Acrimony"

Timestamp: 36:27 - 60:00

TamBam introduces the main discussion topic: the movie "Acrimony." She provides a synopsis, highlighting the tragic story of Melinda, a loyal wife who becomes unhinged after feeling betrayed by her husband, Robert.

Notable Summary:

• Plot Overview: Melinda supports Robert financially to help him develop his invention, the "Battery." After years of struggle, Robert finally succeeds, marries another woman, and leaves Melinda, pushing her into a spiral of rage and obsession that culminates in tragedy.

TamBam and AJ critique the characters’ actions and motivations, debating whether Melinda is a victim or a villain. They argue that both characters bear responsibility for the downfall of their relationship, emphasizing the destructive nature of unbalanced sacrifices in marriage.

Notable Quotes:

• AJ Holiday (51:53): "He used her, he used her youth. He used her life force."
• TamBam (53:18): "He tried to make amends for all the years of abuse, you know, financial abuse."

They discuss the theme of reciprocity in relationships, stressing that meaningful partnerships require mutual support and respect. The hosts also reflect on their personal experiences with relationships, drawing parallels to Melinda's story.

Notable Quotes:

• TamBam (58:09): "She wanted the emotional investment that was missing."
• AJ Holiday (59:22): "You need to be okay with leaving somebody when things aren't right."

5. Modern Relationships and Gender Roles

Timestamp: 60:00 - 76:39

The discussion broadens to address broader societal issues regarding modern relationships and gender roles. TamBam and AJ debate the integrity of men in relationships, the concept of "gold diggers," and the evolving dynamics between men and women.

Notable Quotes:

• AJ Holiday (65:32): "Women should be gold diggers. It is our job to make sure we pick the best suitable mates to procreate with."
• TamBam (66:12): "But a gold digger is something different... looking for integrity, scripture... It's about more than just money."

They argue that while some men and women lack integrity, many are actively working on self-improvement and seeking partners who contribute equally to the relationship. The hosts stress the importance of mutual growth, emotional intelligence, and financial stability in building strong, lasting partnerships.

Notable Quotes:

• TamBam (71:37): "Women who only date men for money... that's something different."
• AJ Holiday (75:14): "Men learn from hurt... they learn from consequences."

6. Conclusions and Takeaways

Timestamp: 76:39 - End

In wrapping up, TamBam and AJ summarize their key points, emphasizing the necessity of balance in relationships, the importance of self-love, and the need for both partners to support each other's growth and aspirations.

Notable Quotes:

• TamBam (81:29): "Keep your regrets to a minimum... balance is key."
• AJ Holiday (82:10): "People should be doing for you, not just taking from you."

They encourage listeners to trust themselves, engage in self-reflection, and seek relationships founded on mutual respect and genuine support. The hosts conclude with affirmations of self-worth and the importance of prioritizing personal well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• TamBam (83:40): "The greatest love is to love yourself."
• AJ Holiday (84:06): "I'm not a fucking nice person. I’m good. I go above and beyond for people."

Key Insights:

• Reciprocity in Relationships: Successful relationships require mutual support and effort from both partners.
• Mental Health Awareness: Highlighting the critical need for men to prioritize their health and seek professional help instead of self-medicating.
• Integrity and Accountability: Emphasizing the importance of honesty and accountability in personal and professional relationships.
• Self-Love and Personal Growth: Encouraging listeners to prioritize self-love and continuous personal development to foster healthier relationships.

Overall Conclusion: "Matrimony on Acrimony" offers an unfiltered and candid exploration of complex relationship dynamics, societal expectations, and personal accountability. TamBam and AJ Holiday provide insightful commentary on how individuals can navigate their personal lives and relationships with integrity, self-love, and a commitment to mutual growth.

Transcript

[A.J. Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast. Meetings, deadlines, emails, millions of notifications. Don't you wish you could escape the chaos? Fortunately, that's where the all new Nissan Murano comes in. And with available features like the relaxing massaging seats and the beautiful skyline views that bring in natural light, it's like cruising in your own personal oasis. And if you need to set a vibe, 64 colors of personalized lighting and a Bose premium sound system have you covered. Hands down, the all new Nissan Murano is your stress free getaway. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today. Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather appointed seats are optional features.

[Carlos Miller]

Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Just kidding. I am the boss. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South show and Building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or even making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out [e-mail] support for eating while.

[Chamberlain University]

Broke is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Let's talk about that thing you keep saying you'll do. The New Career the next step Chamberlain University has been preparing healthcare professionals for over 130 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, Chamberlain offers flexible programs built around your life. Trust me, I know how tough it is to find a career that really feels fulfilling. But you owe it to yourself to keep on searching until you find that perfect fit. Learn more at chamberlain. Edu Chamberlain University Belong to Something greater Certified to operate by Chev at&t has.

[A.J. Holiday]

A new guarantee because things in life are not guaranteed. Like getting through self checkout by yourself. Not guaranteed in a world where Nothing is guaranteed, AT&T is bringing something new to the table. AT&T is introducing a guarantee with connectivity you depend on, deals you want and service you deserve or they make it right. Learn [e-mail] guarantee@&t connecting changes everything. Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.comguaranty for details. Welcome to We Talk Back where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh louder and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee cocktail and crown cause it's about to go down.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black Women with an opinion who talk back.

[A.J. Holiday]

What's up, y' all? It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y' all. I love y' all so, so, so, so very much.

[A.J. Holiday]

Girl's teeth is extra white.

[Tam Bam]

Girl, I put some white strips on yesterday because I was smiling and it was like a twinge of yellow.

[A.J. Holiday]

Look at mine right now. Because I was using turmeric toothpaste, and I'm like, what the fuck? And I do do teeth whitening, so I'm like, why the fuck my shit look kind of beigey? Especially because I don't got no ring light on, nothing like that right now. But yeah, I'm like, bitch, you putting turmeric on your damn teeth, bitch.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah, that is yellow, first of all. Turmeric going yellow anything it touches.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, but I didn't think it was until I saw how my toothbrush bristles kind of got kind of yellow. I'm like, it has to be doing the same thing to my goddamn teeth, right? Crazy ass.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but I'm thinking yesterday. Shout out to Chris. How was your weekend?

[A.J. Holiday]

We need some ads, period. My weekend was a bunch of havoc, y' all. It was my birthday weekend. My birthday was on Sunday. And.

[Tam Bam]

Hello. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear AJ Happy birthday to you.

[A.J. Holiday]

It was literally AJ's holiday, okay, on Sunday.

[Tam Bam]

And she ain't respond to a single message or phone call. What was.

[A.J. Holiday]

I could get it. Listen, from the time I woke up, remember, I told you I was doing a photo shoot? So I wish y' all motherfuckers would have waited for my little pictures. And I really was trying. That's why I wanted to do it on Saturday. But my little props and shit didn't come in in time, so I had to reschedule for Sunday. So from the time I woke up to the time this nigga got here to do my photos, I was getting ready the whole time. And you called me, and I was literally shooting at the time. And then straight from there, we had dinner at 7 o' clock.

[Tam Bam]

So that was it.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's my whole day. And then I was so exhausted, I'm in the car, sleeping. On the way back to the house, I took a shower and I got in the bed. I did look at a few messages. I thank you all for all the happy birthday wishes. And I still hadn't responded to a lot of people. Chad, it gets to be a lot.

[Tam Bam]

Back page, because I don't think you even went on that one on the story. No, on the page. No, you gotta go check that because it's a lot of people wishing you were having birthday.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm sorry, y' all, Girl, I ain't catch up on life yet, okay? My damn house a mess from just making this shit a studio for a damn day. It's just a mess, man.

[Tam Bam]

Well, the pictures are absolutely stunning.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I got some other ones to pose. I just gotta get my edits back and stuff, so. Yeah, it was cute. I had a good time. Took me forever. Girl, I do not know how to pose, y' all. I'm about to just start practicing posing.

[Tam Bam]

And that's what I need to do, too, because every time I think I'm eating and then I look at the picture and I look, if it's full.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm like, why my body look like that? What the is happening right now? Like, why am I. Am I really standing like that in my mind? Like, I'm really, like, posing, like, bitch, you look stupid the whole time.

[Tam Bam]

But you know what? Me and you are both so hard on ourselves when it comes to photos.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, them pictures is looking dumb, okay? And also, because this is in the studio, my backdrop didn't come, so I. The pictures had to be, like, more close up, kind of. Also, I didn't have enough wall space basically with the backdrop to do what I wanted to do. So, yeah, I just had to make do. Yeah. So it worked out a little tiny bit.

[Tam Bam]

Where'd you go to dinner?

[A.J. Holiday]

Damn. What's the name of this? It's called Kings on Daniel's Island. I don't know if you've ever been to Daniel's island in Charleston, but it's like a little riverfront restaurant. No, it was not good.

[Tam Bam]

It was.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, it's called King something, and I don't want to really like, but we ended up with a super discount on dinner. That's how bad our dinner was. It took a long time to come out, and then when it came, it's like, I don't ever add seasoning to my food after it's cooked. May I cook it or, like, a restaurant? I just deal with it. But when I tell you I had to ask for salt, like, you cannot cook pasta. I had a lobster pasta. You cannot not season pasta. And it was like, spinach noodles. You gotta season that shit. The fuck is happening?

[Tam Bam]

Tastes like nothing.

[A.J. Holiday]

Nothing. I was. I don't know. The best part was my dessert.

[Tam Bam]

Well, I would like for you to go to visit this place. It's close by you. It's called Oyotunji. Village. Have you heard of.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, you mean in Hilton Head area? Yeah, yeah, I've been there before.

[Tam Bam]

An African village?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I've been there twice.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I want to go.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. I don't know what it looks like nowadays. We went, like, I went one time, like a field trip, because it is an actual African village, but people don't really live in there. You know what I'm saying? It's more of tourist attraction nowadays.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, really?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. Now, you can. There's some places around there where you could go get you some work done if you need it. You know what I'm saying? You looking for somebody to do some shit to somebody?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I want somebody to do nothing to nobody. I want somebody to do something to me, Help me look. Just wait. That's it. That's it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. But, yeah, I've been there before.

[Tam Bam]

I saw a little documentary on it over the weekend, and I was like, oh, wow. This is, like, really, really dope, y' all. If y' all get a chance, check out a documentary on the O village in South Carolina. The only African village existing in South Carolina. That's dope. So that's what I did this weekend. I watched documentaries after documentaries. Oh, and I got my hair locked, and it took a long, long, long.

[A.J. Holiday]

The hair is fleeky.

[Tam Bam]

Thank you.

[A.J. Holiday]

Fleeky.

[Tam Bam]

And look, you know, it's just when I get my hair like this, I turn into somebody else. I don't know. The energy just shift.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not you. A hotel. Not. You got henna. Black women in their hair, man.

[Tam Bam]

Very earthy. I've been hugging and talking to the trees like it's just very. It's giving. Very earthy. Girl. I almost went out with no deodorant one day, but I ain't that earthy, Girl.

[A.J. Holiday]

Spirituality is not an aesthetic that's given right now.

[Tam Bam]

No. But it's how I feel on the inside that's just coming out.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, because you have locks.

[Tam Bam]

No, I got the locks because of how I was feeling on the inside. It's all. What's. What you see on the outside is a representation of how I've been feeling, y' all.

[A.J. Holiday]

Dang. How she started the conversation off, though, right? Am I tripping?

[Tam Bam]

I'm telling y' all. I'm telling y' all how I feel.

[A.J. Holiday]

It sound like she adjusted to the hair. Not the hair.

[Tam Bam]

The hair adjusted to me. And this clarity and feelings I've been having because it is 75 hard.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

My. I'm elevated period. Way up.

[A.J. Holiday]

What was your weekend like? That's it. You just got your hair done.

[Tam Bam]

I watched documentaries and got my hair done.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's a good weekend.

[Tam Bam]

And then I did my workouts, you know, that's it. I'm on y' all today. Well, by the time you hear this, I'll be on day 67.

[A.J. Holiday]

So what's going to happen at 75? You gonna keep going to 80?

[Tam Bam]

No, at 75, you gonna drink some liquor. Drinking some liquor. Like on day 76, I'm gonna have me a cocktail and a bacon cheeseburger. I can't wait.

[A.J. Holiday]

You already know.

[Tam Bam]

I already know. I'm gonna have an espresso martini and a bacon cheeseburger that day. But I'm definitely gonna continue to work out. Instead of seven days a week, I'm gonna cut back to like five days a week. And instead of two workouts a day, I'm just gonna do one, you know. Cause I need my life back. This really take a large portion of your life from you, like so.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And it's not sustainable. It's not something you could do forever. Seven days a week, two workouts a day is just insane.

[A.J. Holiday]

Some people be doing it, I guess. That's all they got to do though. Those niggas who you see in the damn gym every day.

[Tam Bam]

Every day. I can't all day. Some days, like I've been. I've cried in there, I've drug in there. I remember one day I was like laying on the bike. And I know that bike filthy. I was laying on that bitch like I layin on that bitch. Just moving my feet. Just moving it a little bit too. In that 45 minutes. I think I barely made it for miles. That's not like for the girl, 45 minutes. I can usually do like 11 or 12 miles. I barely. Yeah, I barely made it four miles. So it was just days where I was just pushing through the best I could.

[A.J. Holiday]

I keep getting to check with my complex and see where the fuck my bike went at. Because I was out of town and they like moved things. I had it like under the stairwell.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, it's crackhead with your bike right now, Girl.

[A.J. Holiday]

Where is my fucking bike? I know it had looked dusty from pollen and all that. Cause it just wasn't time to ride bike yet.

[Tam Bam]

Yep.

[A.J. Holiday]

But I want my bike.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Before somebody take your.

[A.J. Holiday]

They better not had throw my bike out because I never saw it by the trash can, by the dumpsters.

[Tam Bam]

That's because somebody took it home.

[A.J. Holiday]

Listen, I've been avoiding asking them about it because I don't feel like cussing people out, because I just know in my spirit that I'm a custom people out in that office. I already feel like that.

[Tam Bam]

Let me tell y' all something. You know how I've. Speaking of cussing people out, I always say, like, I'm better now. I'm healed. But I realize I ain't as healed as I think because I just cussed somebody smooth the fuck out the other day.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's necessary sometimes. That doesn't mean you're not healed, but you gotta work on the thing that triggered you to then cuss them out. But sometimes that shit is fucking necessary.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I'm talking about. It was the thing, the reason I cussed them out because they wouldn't go see a doctor.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And I cussed them smooth the fuck out. I'm talking about bad. I called him an MF, a stupid MFer and hung up in their face.

[A.J. Holiday]

What's the prognosis? Like, what's. What's happening with them?

[Tam Bam]

They got, like, one day tilted to the side where they. The way they walking right now, it looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Right? So they back is fucked up. And then they also having, like, bad hemorrhoid issue and not going to the doctor is insane to me. And I just. I cussed them out.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, that slumped over. I don't know. I'm not going to say what it's given, but.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but when you see it, it's just black men, y' all. Like, I don't know what it is with black men and not wanting to go to the doctor, but it just really. Cause they made an appointment and they was like, well, I felt a little better, so I canceled it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Mm. Mm. What? Yeah. I don't know why they neglect their health. And then they like, what's the benefits.

[Tam Bam]

Of having a wife, man?

[A.J. Holiday]

We be keeping y' all niggas alive.

[Tam Bam]

Y' all.

[A.J. Holiday]

Are y' all kind of slow? Cause why the fuck would you be sitting there suffering and not go see.

[Tam Bam]

About it and just medicating? That is not how you heal your body. Yeah, you're just masking the problem.

[A.J. Holiday]

I remember one of my classmates, she passed away, you know, as an adult now, but she was having some type of stomach issues. And, like, I don't know why, but in Charleston, like, goody headache powders is like. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

It's every.

[A.J. Holiday]

Everybody takes a goody headache powder and some ginger ale. But her stomach, when she passed, her stomach was full of goody Headache, powder, acid, essentially. That's all she was masking it. Just having pain and just taking the medicine girl over the counter.

[Tam Bam]

Shit, that's crazy because this a man that I know, he died from a brain aneurysm and he was in his car like he died in the car driving. When they found him, his car was covered with goody powder, empty packets because his brain was hurting. Your head was hurting so bad and you was just taking goody powders to mask the pain instead of going to. Your body was telling you it's something wrong. And instead of going to the doctor, you just taking drugs. Y' all, y' all, please, everybody listening. If you are experiencing some type of pain or some type of ailment and you're just taking pain pills, go to the doctor. Your body is trying to tell you that there's something wrong.

[A.J. Holiday]

And you know like in the movies how they turn you around because you don't have health care. If you go to emergency room, they're just gonna give you a dumb ass bill. But they will see you.

[Tam Bam]

They got to see you.

[A.J. Holiday]

And on top of that, Obamacare still exists, right? So you still get Medicaid. People aren't applying. I've never not. I think maybe I've been out without, without insurance one time in life. So yeah, you're going to have like a deductible and shit like that for labs and things like that. Listen, that let that shit stack up and just be debt as opposed to your ass dying. You'll figure it out with everything the fuck else. Go to the doctor. What is happening?

[Tam Bam]

Go to the doctor. I know. And then last thing, I had a friend who ended up dying from a heart issue and he used to be beating on his chest all the time. And I, and I'd be like, you need to go to the doctor. What's. Why you be doing that? He like, man, I'm waiting for this insurance to kick in. You worried about money and end up dying from that heart issue instead of.

[A.J. Holiday]

Seeing the doctor nuts.

[Tam Bam]

So. So I customer. But it was my. Thing is there's a better way to say how I feel. I gotta work on that. Instead of calling him a stupid. I could have been like, you know, I want you to be here a long time and I care about you and I don't want you to die. Or so I don't know what I could have said, but something better than, you know what, you're a stupid ass.

[A.J. Holiday]

But had you, but had you already said something to him before about it?

[Tam Bam]

Yes, I Have.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so that's where it came from. Yeah, that's exactly where it came from.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, well, let's get into sins, y' all.

[A.J. Holiday]

Cause I said, again, we already did sins.

[Tam Bam]

Did we?

[A.J. Holiday]

We haven't been talking about some for too long. All right, y' all.

[Tam Bam]

We already did sins.

[A.J. Holiday]

God damn, y' all. Niggas talk too much.

[Tam Bam]

Right? We talk too much. That's what we need to name the show. Keep Sweat Drags Modern Single Lady. So Keep Sweat had a show, y' all, over the weekend, or I think it might have been late last week. And he addressed the crowd and said that he was single and he know how to wash his own clothes and he can cook his own food. Because these women now, they don't want to do nothing. They don't want to bring to the table. They don't want to iron his clothes. They don't want to cook him no meal. And he said he's done with too many entitlement things. You gotta bring something to the table to get something from me. They don't want to cook no more. I wash my own clothes, iron my own clothes. Gotta do something for me.

[A.J. Holiday]

Have you ever known any woman to be associated with Keith Sweatt? Like, has he just been a bachelor his entire life?

[Tam Bam]

I don't. I can't think of nobody.

[A.J. Holiday]

Me either.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, so do you think that's part of his Persona? Maybe he was like, you know, he is the lover boy. So having a kiddo would probably mess with his identity as that lover boy.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, lover boy. So now here you are. How old is Keith Sweatt? Let's ask Google. How old is Keith?

[Tam Bam]

While you Googling that, let me tell you. I remember the only thing.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm 63. Okay, go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

My daddy. When I was little, I always used to remember my daddy saying, I hate this begging ass.

[A.J. Holiday]

I think everybody used to say to have all the parents.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I remember about Q Sweat as a kid. My daddy would always talk about the dick. Always begging.

[A.J. Holiday]

Listen, bitches.

[Tam Bam]

To do anything. He's sick of y' all.

[A.J. Holiday]

First of all, women who are 63 are not modern women. Women who are 63 cook, clean, and do all the fucking things. So who is his target market? Who is he actually dating? That isn't doing anything for him?

[Tam Bam]

Us.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly. He's dating young. And even us, our age group. Okay. I would beg to differ. Okay. That he's dating women even younger than us.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

At 63 years old because he thinks he looks young because he dyes his hair. You Are an old fart. I need you to chill out and get a woman at least 50. At least 50. But they don't want 50 year old women. They still want to chase and do the. Like Shannon Sharpe, when he was talking to. Who is he talking to? And they basically said, damn, you date the same age girls I date.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[A.J. Holiday]

What do you think you're gonna get? Those are fun girls. You're not even dating. Cause they're even in those age ranges. There are mature women, right, who got their shit together, who do all the things in a relationship. Those aren't the women you're going for. You are going for the women that you gotta take care of. Okay. And they just come and they look pretty, right?

[Tam Bam]

They ain't come here to cook you no food, nigga.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. The fuck what you thought?

[Tam Bam]

Make reservations?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. What'd you say last week? Make a mean uber eats mean doordash. Oh, right. Yeah. That's about it. What are you. What are you really looking for? These men have to really be honest with themselves. Just say, I'm full of shit. And this is what I like. I mean. Cause I'm a woman whose father is 75 and his wife is the same age as. She's in between my two sisters. Sam is 46. 45. And I think my oldest sister is 49. So my stepmom, quote, unquote, is your peer. She's my peer. And she's in between the two of them. And she cooks. So does my dad. Like, they do all the things. So you can find a woman, right. A little younger than you who does the things. That's not what he's looking for. That's not. Obviously not who he's dating. To sit up on stage in front of all these women and talk about what modern women aren't doing.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Modern women be cooking. Oh, these. I don't. These niggas be lying on us.

[Tam Bam]

Women be cooking.

[A.J. Holiday]

Who are you? They have been lying on us since Adam and Eve. These niggas is walking around with the apple in a fucking neck and saying that we ate the apple. They literally got the apple.

[Tam Bam]

No, I need y' all to look. When y' all stop. When this is over, I want y' all to look around at all the men. They ain't got no more Adam's apple. I don't see them no more. They gone.

[A.J. Holiday]

I see them on some men, Some men and some. I mean, maybe we might be a little bit chunkier nowadays. Also the neck kind of fat. But I do see men with Adam's apples. You see that?

[Tam Bam]

Look at that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Look at that cloud.

[Tam Bam]

Don't it look like Jay Z? And then I'll be looking at, don't have no Adam's apple no more. It's gone.

[A.J. Holiday]

Evolution. Y' all are like, for some reason, something's happening, and the men want to be coddled like children, and they want to be treated like bad bitches. That's what's happening.

[Tam Bam]

And that's why the Adams haven't gone.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. They turn it into women.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, my God.

[A.J. Holiday]

We might fuck around and start getting Adam's apples, right? But, yeah, quit lying on us. Stop lying on us. Women, that's all they do is lie like a rug.

[Tam Bam]

So now, this kind of pissed me off. This one right here, Coco Gauff won the French Open over the weekend, and she manifested that shit because she even had a piece of paper written, said, I will win the French Open 2025.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, write it down.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. And this girl who she played against, I can't pronounce her name. I'm gonna mess it up. She gonna say that Coco didn't play a good game. She just played a bad game. Basically. Coco ain't good, and she just. She's better than Coco. She just played a bad game. My girl, take the L. And first of all, Coco has beat you before. Did you play a bad game then, too, bitch? Like, are you always playing bad games against Coco girl?

[A.J. Holiday]

So, you know, this is where that thing where, you know, children are now being coddled more, thinking, everybody can be a winner. And this is what happens when they grow up, right? They're unable to accept when they fucking lost because everybody cannot win every time. You're not gonna always win. And if you don't show gratitude for the winners, you'll never be a winner again.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Let me tell you, them participation trophies was the worst thing that happened to these kids. Once they started getting everybody a ribbon that field day, it was over for us. Why do everybody get a ribbon? You don't deserve one if you did not win.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. If you didn't win the super bowl, you can't go to the White House. Not everybody go to the White House. You know what I'm saying? Shit like that. That is not how it's supposed to be. There are winners, and then there are losers. You're not gonna always be a winner. You won't always be a loser.

[Tam Bam]

And the thing about taking the L gracefully, it makes you. It keeps you humble, and it makes the. When you do win, it makes it that much Better like you gotta take your L's gracefully. You gotta be prideful and congratulate the winner always. So these people or whatever your name is, girl, that was whack what you said. I know you was upset. I imagine you made it all the way to the top just to get beat by this beautiful black. Bad black. You bad. I get it.

[A.J. Holiday]

But I don't get it.

[Tam Bam]

I get why she was mad. She lost. Nobody likes losing, but you could have handled that much better.

[A.J. Holiday]

Whack ass.

[Tam Bam]

A joyful loser is. Is very rare. But you don't have to be a bitch about it.

[A.J. Holiday]

So Wendy Williams ex, Kevin Hunter, he is planning to do a tell all interview. I wonder what this may consist of. Kevin Hunter is reportedly preparing for a one on one interview with Gayle King to speak his truth. I cannot stand that thing that that's saying this my truth. I can't stand it. Because your truth oftentimes could be a very, very much so a lie. So it says. Interview with King is expected to touch on deeply personal and public chapters of his life, though specific details have not been released. Ooh, it just started pouring down rain. Can you hear that? Hunter has been in the spotlight due to his legal battle with Debmar Mercury, the producers of the Wendy Williams Show. Oh, okay. Following the divorce of Wendy Williams in 2019. So y' all know Wendy Williams is making her a little comeback. She getting her freedom back, literally. Right. And I wouldn't doubt that he was probably a part of the reason why she ended up in this predicament anyway. You know, just the heartache, the betrayal. That shit can lead you down a very dark road, y' all. God never let the devil sit back next to him because betrayal is the ultimate sin. Okay. So you can't come back around me once you have betrayed me.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

So he's married to his side bitch now. Who he had living down the street from them. They have a baby together. You don't really even. Who are you without Wendy Williams?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

And this is why he's just still harping on this. Like, I just don't. Between this shit right here. And then like the shit that's going on with Remy Ma and Papoose, like, where is the love? Where is the love?

[Tam Bam]

There's a thin line about that.

[A.J. Holiday]

That shit is so fucking thin, it's scary. Yes. Like, you mean to tell me we. We are no longer and now we just gonna go on this disparaging rampage against each other? That shit is fucking scary.

[Tam Bam]

I don't want anybody to see Ugh.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't like breakups.

[Tam Bam]

I pray over myself that. That it, you know, if I ever. First of all, I pray that when I actually meet my husband, we stay together forever. And if we don't, that is never like that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Just amicable. We don't got, you know, say we enjoyed each other, we appreciate each other, the time we spent, and move on. So it says, go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

Well, and then I'll, you know. And I will be a pleasant widow, because that's the only way you're going anyway.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'd be. Listen, y' all think I'd be playing, but I don't even like losing friends and shit like that because I'd be not shared all my intimate details about my life with a motherfucker. And now we not friends no more. I'd be waiting on some shit like this if shit get real popping for us. Like, this is the type of shit like I got M4H money for.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, my God.

[A.J. Holiday]

So since leaving the show, Hunter has faced financial challenges. So this is. This is when the bullshit start happening, right? So now you need some money. Including selling his Florida home and dealing with legal action over alleged credit card debt. The interview with Gayle King could shed new light on both Kevin Hunter's and Wendy Williams lives following their divorce in 2020 after over two decades of marriage, which ended due to Hunter's infidelity and birth of a child with another woman. So you destroyed our marriage. Now, they always had, like, a little. They shit always was kind of iffy. But you destroyed our shit. You start a whole new family, and that's not enough for you? You gotta destroy me, too, right? He's the worst type of person. Like the beef he had with Charlamagne. Like, this nigga, this nigga is like. He's just not a good person. He's not a good person. Like, till this day, he be trying to destroy Charlamagne.

[Tam Bam]

I'm sure he's gonna get paid for this particular interview and he need the money. But I can't wait to hear what the story is. What he gonna say?

[A.J. Holiday]

He ain't got nothing to say. Just take your fucking L and go. What's wrong with people not being able to take their Ls? Just go. You got what you wanted, right?

[Tam Bam]

No, he want more, apparently.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. Cause he ain't got no money to take care of that girl no more. She probably ain't working nowhere. You just over here struggling with an old nigga now.

[Tam Bam]

Aj.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'll be damned.

[Tam Bam]

All right, this is the last thing I want to do. So I keep seeing people talk shit about Tyler Perry, and I don't stand for that, because one Tyler Perry employs black people, and it almost seems like nothing but us. And when he pays. He pays people what they're worth. And he tells our stories, people like, oh, he capitalizes on black trauma. Like these stories ain't really happening. Like, he ain't making this shit up. Black women go through a lot of shit. But tell me a story where he didn't have the black woman come out on top. For the most part.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, but it's. Yeah, they be coming out on top sometimes. And then sometimes it's still kind of disparaging. Sometimes.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. But is that not real life? Is that not real life, though?

[A.J. Holiday]

I guess I think the problem is because I just had this conversation with a friend yesterday, and I'm like, why people don't feel like that, like somebody's exploiting them about their movies? Because it's coming from one person, though. The type of the genre is coming from one studio, one production. Right. Whereas.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Because he's the only studio doing black stories.

[A.J. Holiday]

And I guess that's where we need variety. Right. We need to make sure we're showing all aspects of black lives.

[Tam Bam]

It's not even true. Cause what's her name? Mara Baraka. Kill. She makes movies and shows, and she just did Forever. That was a beautiful story about blackness. That it wasn't. It wasn't anybody in there depicted in a way that was disparaging negative. Yeah. So. And it's more true stories. Maybe Tyler Perry makes stories about black female trauma. Because that's what he knows.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I guess.

[Tam Bam]

You know, So I don't like when they talk about him. And then here's another thing that he did. He always poured back into our community. He always keeps us employed. He gave Sinbad. Sinbad was in the movie. Sinbad had a massive stroke five years ago. Wasn't nobody checking for Sinbad or trying to help Sinbad, but. And his role in the movie was very small, but he was like, look, I gotta check for you, Sinbad, because I love you. I've seen what you've done for our community. You brought a lot of joy. I'm gonna make sure some money in your pocket. Who else doing that? Y' all. Please don't play with Me by Tyler Perry. Okay, who else doing that? Nobody.

[A.J. Holiday]

Don't play with Tam by Tyler Perry. Chad, I ain't playing with you by Tyler Perry. You got it.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, thank you. Because I love him.

[A.J. Holiday]

You got it. Girl. What we talk about today? Cause I'm scared.

[Tam Bam]

Acrimony. Tyler Perry Segue. Perfect segue, bitch. We getting into the movie acrimony. Another movie about a black woman.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not just scoring a dumb bitch. We'll get into it after this commercial, y' all. Be right back.

[Chamberlain University]

Support for Eating While Broke is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Let's talk about that thing you keep saying you'll do. The new career, the next step There's a difference between not knowing what's next and knowing exactly what you want but being afraid to go after it. If you're in the second group, maybe it's time to stop waiting. Chamberlain University has been preparing healthcare professionals for over 130 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, Chamberlain offers flexible programs built around your life. They have faculty who genuinely care and a community ready to lift you up. Whether you're just starting out, switching careers or advancing your education, Chamberlain helps you move forward with confidence. Trust me, I know how tough it is to find a career that really feels fulfilling. But you owe it to yourself to keep on searching until you find that perfect fit. Because here's what Chamberlain wants you to know. You've got this and we've got you. Start today at Chamberlain. Edu Chamberlain University Belong to something Greater Certified to operate by shevy the first.

[A.J. Holiday]

Two months of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your weird cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with the 64 color personalized lighting option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill or straight up on do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world, because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today. Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional features if you own a home.

[Rocket Mortgage]

Here's an interesting fact for you today. American homeowners are sitting on a record amount of home Equity, that's the part of your home you own outright. Rocket Mortgage can help you turn that home equity into cash and that can help you fund a home renovation, pay for your kids college tuition, or pay off consolidated high interest debt. To learn more, just call 800 for Rocket or visit Rocket.com today. Rocket Mortgage LLC, licensed in 50 states. Nmlsconsumeraccess.org Number 3030@&t has a new guarantee.

[AT&T]

Because most things in life are not guaranteed. Like actually getting that rental car that you requested or your way to turn it out just like you dreamed it would. And someone making another pot of coffee in the break room after drinking the last drop of the last one. Yeah, don't get me started. Not guaranteed. In a world where Nothing is guaranteed, AT&T is bringing something new to the table. AT&T is introducing a guarantee with connectivity you depend on, deals you want and service you deserve or they make it right. So if you want to know more about the AT&T Guarantee, head to att.com guarantee AT&T Connected changes everything. Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.comguaranty for details.

[Tam Bam]

All right, y' all. So people were in the DS DM saying they really loved our movie Breakdown episodes. And I love them too, because, you know, I love me a movie and I'm, you know, want to be in them. Tyler Perry. So I wanted to break down acrimony because that just really aligns with what we be talking about on this show when it comes to relationships and how shit be going sometimes. So I want to talk about the art. So if you haven't seen it, go watch it and then come back to.

[A.J. Holiday]

This episode because y' all seen them wigs and acrimony. Y' all had to have seen acrimony. It's been a couple years now. I thought there was going to be an acrimony too.

[Tam Bam]

I was hoping there would be an acrimony too, where she didn't get, she didn't die. First of all, this is such a sad story because do you feel like either character was wrong? All right, let's talk about the plot. Acrimony is about a loyal wife, Melinda, who becomes increasingly unhinged after feeling betrayed by her husband, Robert, following years of personal and financial sacrifice to support his dreams. All right, so Melinda meets Robert in college. After a whirlwind romance, she supports him financially, even using her inheritance while he works on his adventure, the Battery. They struggle financially for years, and Melinda eventually divorces Robert. After divorce, Robert's invention finally pays off. And he becomes a wealthy man, then marries another woman, a woman that he had cheated on her with when they were younger. Melinda spirals into rage and obsession, believing she was owed more than just money. She wanted the life she helped build. The story ends in tragedy, with Melinda's mental state completely unraveling.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so in the beginning of acrimony, we saw how crazy Melinda was.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. She was always a little bit.

[A.J. Holiday]

She rammed his trailer off of a cliff. Did he not? Did she not? Because he was in there with a woman. Another woman. Right, right. So we knew she was capable of being crazy.

[Tam Bam]

And she hurt herself so much to the point where she could never conceive by doing that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Mm.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay.

[Tam Bam]

That's on you. You know, that's on you. Even though.

[A.J. Holiday]

Did you take accountability for that?

[Tam Bam]

Nope.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. So I would say Melinda has mental health issues.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Always single.

[A.J. Holiday]

Or you just know you ain't supposed to play with her. So her and this man was married for a very long time. And I think this kind. It kind of like, it definitely depicts how women put their partners before them. Right. So it is like, it is hurtful when I see men say, what is the benefit of marriage? And stuff like that. Because it is a big sacrifice for women. We sacrifice our bodies for the children. I had seen this post the other day. This girl was like, this is a video of a woman saying she lost all of her teeth. Okay. During pregnancy Due to vitamin deficiency. And men out here saying, why do I need to get married? Why do I need to. Why do I need to. Why I need to go 5050 or even. Why do I have to finance this woman's entire life? We literally sacrifice our lives for everybody else. I'm leaning towards not wanting to do that. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Nowadays, it's crazy. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's why I gotta draw the line at my goddamn teeth.

[Tam Bam]

Right? I love my teeth. But think about it. I've, like, especially with doing hair. I've seen women lose all their hair after having a baby. I've seen them have, like, complete back knee acne covering their whole back and shit. Like, just all kind of stuff that happens to your body even after the baby done left it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly.

[Tam Bam]

The baby is out of the body and it's still being affected.

[A.J. Holiday]

So, yeah. You're not the same person. You literally. You were single and now you're a mom and you're a wife. I'm not the same person anymore.

[Tam Bam]

And my edges gone and my teeth, man. Shit. And my back look like Braille.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, you don't even notice, like, who you are anymore. You got a baby hanging off your.

[Tam Bam]

Titties like a stranger hanging off your body because they're not your. Y' all just met, and you got.

[A.J. Holiday]

You have a group of people in this world who think that being a female, being a woman, being a human, adult female is just an aesthetic. Right? I was watching Jason Lee, Hollywood Unlock with. Yeah, it's crazy up here. Hollywood Unlock with Candace Owens on there. And she was like, well, why can't Rachel Dolezal say that she's black? If women can. If men can say that they're women, a woman. Like, he was like, no, that's not the same thing. It is exactly the same thing. Right? I can be something because I feel like that's what I am. And then Jason Lee made a statement. I was so disgusted. He was like, I mean, I know some of the trans girl who even do it better than. Better than actual women do. What better than actual women just look like a woman. That is what you think being a woman is. Y' all can never deal with half of the shit women deal with on a daily basis. Like, we be walking around hemorrhaging and acting like ain't nothing going on. Okay? Still doing all the things, taking care of kids, working, working out, just all the things. We still doing it. Hemorrhaging and in actual fucking pain all day.

[Tam Bam]

All day. Yeah, I agree.

[A.J. Holiday]

But you think just throwing a wig on and some lipstick and a dress is doing it better than an actual woman? Listen, this is how, you know, women are the gods on the planet because these niggas, literally.

[Tam Bam]

And that's hurtful to say. I don't think people understand, like, what it really entails. And that's why they say stuff like that, because it's like talking to a fish and asking the fish what water is. They don't know because they in it, you know, like, you can't explain it to them. So I don't even try. All right, so did Melinda deserve more than just compensation?

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so once her husband. Once Robert, like, sold his invention, which didn't come until after she had left him. Right? And that's what I'm saying. Sometimes you may have to leave people for them to reach their full potential for things to happen. It may not. Was. It probably wasn't supposed to happen with them together in the first place, but they were trying to stay together, you know what I'm saying? While the whole time he's. He's going through this transition, trying to figure out trying to get somebody to buy into his invention and all that, and the minute they break up, it happens.

[Tam Bam]

But it took the other woman to come along.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what I'm. That's what I'm saying.

[Tam Bam]

It's so crazy how God works, because it took this other woman, who was already a part of this company to, you know, give. Help him with the opportunity to even be seen, because had he stayed with Melinda, that probably would have never happened. You know?

[A.J. Holiday]

I mean, it could have still, like, it was happening when he was kind of with her.

[Tam Bam]

Did he.

[A.J. Holiday]

Did he. Did he meet the lady after Melinda left him? He already knew her, I think. No, he ran into. Was this not the bitch that was in the trailer?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so look, so now, years later, you run into your old thing, and she's actually working at the place you were trying to get your foot in for all. All this time. That's what I'm saying. Like, sometimes the relationship. The relationships you in will shape your life. So it was a negative for Melinda. It was more of a positive for him, for Robert. He used her. He used her youth. He used her life force. You saw how crazy she started looking at that house. He put her house up for sale, her mama's house.

[Tam Bam]

She did that.

[A.J. Holiday]

She mortgaged the house. Yeah, she mortgaged the house. They were about to lose their home.

[Tam Bam]

They did lose it. They lost.

[A.J. Holiday]

They ended up buying it back. Oh, he ended up buying it back. And once he got all the money.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he bought it back for her.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. So she literally gave her entire life to him. Right.

[Tam Bam]

And then you can't say that that woman wouldn't do whatever for him. She did it all. She took. She took care of him while he was trying to, you know, get his invention off the ground.

[A.J. Holiday]

Because she believed in him. Right? So you have these men on these podcasts telling women, you know, stop dating for potential. Stuff like, that man has to do this. But then on the other hand, you're like, oh, y' all. Y' all. Y' all want somebody who's already together. Like, you just want to come in and kick your feet up. Like, there's no right or wrong in any of these situations. But women are definitely damned if we do and damned if we don't. Yeah, you picked wrong. Y' all need to make better decisions. You did all that for the wrong nigga. It's not true. Like, you just never know.

[Tam Bam]

You never know. You never know. Cause Papoose and Remy Ma doing this was never on my bingo card. I always thought they were like, always be together and be quiet about the things that. Cause there's no doubt in my mind that Papoose had other things going on outside.

[A.J. Holiday]

Absolutely.

[Tam Bam]

But they were very respectful about it. What happened to the respect, you know?

[A.J. Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

Absolutely.

[A.J. Holiday]

And, you know, remember when Jada. Jada Pinkett and Will Smith was going through the whole. What did she call it? An entanglement? When they were going through that whole debacle? Like, there is no doubt in my mind that there was an outside entity. Right. That exposed all this. It wasn't them in their marriage. Jada didn't do it. Will didn't do it. Oh, boy. Did it. What's his name?

[Tam Bam]

August. Alsina.

[A.J. Holiday]

August. Alsina. He put them on blast. He put the relationship with Jada Paikin on blast, kind of. Right. So she was, like, hanging out with him, but that was her son's friend also. Right, right. But when. When Will Smith. When. When the chick hit the fan. Right. I'm pretty sure through all these years of marriage, Will Smith has done things in that marriage. But what Jada didn't do is take it as an opportunity to disparage him. Once her shit was on the forefront, she took accountability for it. She didn't get online and say, well, this was during a time when you was fucking so. So and so. So I needed attention then, and this is why this happened. She didn't do that. She just took her fucking l and she kept her mouth shut.

[Tam Bam]

And when I tell you, they was raking her over the coals.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. And never once did she come out and say, well, y' all Will Smith ain't fucking innocent, right?

[Tam Bam]

Not one time.

[A.J. Holiday]

But I just want men to, like, ain't no way in hell men think Will Smith is innocent and hadn't done anything. I think that for years they had this open relationship type situation that people thought existed. Wasn't sure, but maybe it was one of those, like, not don't ask, don't tell, but like. Or maybe ask before you do.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

This bullshit. And she basically. She let somebody in their relationship who had something who didn't have nothing to lose. Basically, you got to fuck with people who got something to lose. Yeah, he was a fucking kid. So I think that's the difference between her bullshit and Will Smith bullshit. Girl, why is you fucking on this?

[Chamberlain University]

Child support for Eating While broke is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Let's talk about that thing you keep saying you'll do. The new career, the next step. There's a difference between not knowing what's next and knowing exactly what you want but being afraid to go after it. If you're in the second group, maybe it's time to stop waiting. Chamberlain University has been preparing health care professionals for over 130 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, Chamberlain offers flexible programs built around your life. They have faculty who genuinely care and a community ready to lift you up. Whether you're just starting out, switching careers, or advancing your education, Chamberlain helps you move forward with confidence. Trust me, I know how tough it is to find a career that really feels fulfilling. But you owe it to yourself to keep on searching until you find that perfect fit. Because here's what Chamberlain wants you to know. You've got this, and we've got you. Start today at Chamberlain. Edu Chamberlain University belong to something greater than Certified to operate by chev the.

[A.J. Holiday]

First two months of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your weird cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose Premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with the 64 color personalized lighting option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill or straight up on do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today. Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather appointed seats are optional features if.

[Rocket Mortgage]

You own a home, here's an interesting fact for you today. American homeowners are sitting on a record amount of home equity. That's the part of your home you own outright. Rocket Mortgage can help you turn that home equity into cash and that can help you fund a home renovation, pay for your kids college tuition, or pay off consolidated high interest debt. To learn more, just call 800 for Rocket or visit Rocket.com today. Rocket Mortgage LLC licensed in 50 states. Nmlsconsumeraccess.org Number 3030 hey fam, if you're.

[AT&T]

Like me, you're thinking about how to level up in your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just started in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long term success. They've been a steady presence in our communities and they know that having the right support early on can make all the difference. State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's about staying focused, staying grounded, and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been, because like a good neighbor. State forum is there. Find out [e-mail].

[Tam Bam]

Was Melinda a victim or a villain?

[A.J. Holiday]

I think she was both. I think she was both. Because I feel like after she knocked his trailer, like, earlier on, he should have never engaged with her ever again. Like that should have been it. You know, that's not really love. That is possession.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. You tried to murder me.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. Two people. That's being very much possessive, right? So the signs were there earlier on that she was capable of. Of some real bullshit. And do y' all really want a woman that follows you blindly?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Do you?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. But that means if somebody else comes along that talks a good game, she could be swayed over there. If it sounds a little bit better. Y' all don't want somebody who just blindly follows people, right? They think that's what they want. They think they want a dumb bitch until you actually get one. And then you be on the phone complaining with the bitch with depth, right? Talking shit about your wife or girlfriend with that person.

[Tam Bam]

Then you be in the trailer flipping over. That's what happened.

[A.J. Holiday]

So I do think she was made to be the villain in this movie because she was the one doing the most damage, right? Acting the craziest. So she was the villain in the movie, but I feel like her husband. I probably would consider him a villain too. Why? You depleted her life source, but I don't understand everything she had.

[Tam Bam]

Why you wasn't working in the meantime?

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what I'm saying. What the fuck? Like who? And nobody gets to just sit and chase their dreams. Like, you gotta do both, right? You could have been working at McDonald's someplace else. Like he literally was just fixated on this thing. And when you are fixated on a thing, it is bound to. That is what makes things happen. It's consistency, right? It's doing it every fucking day, not knowing the outcome. It will eventually happen, but it could be 20 years.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

You see what I'm saying? It could take a very long time for things to come to fruition. And she stuck in there the entire time. And he was a taker in her ear too.

[Tam Bam]

She had her sisters in her ear, like telling her, you know, like.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, because it didn't make sense to anybody. How does this make sense to anybody?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I get it. But then when he was all bossed up, everybody was looking stupid, you know.

[A.J. Holiday]

But it took him how many years to get bossed up? 20 years. That is excessive. Yeah, so he should. He, at some point he should have like, hey, I need to help my family, I need to help my wife. Let me take. Let me not do this all day long and go work. This is equivalent to a nigga playing PlayStation all day long while you working and he got your car and shit. It's the same thing. Yeah, it's better, right? Because he has an actual invention, he has an actual vision, he's driven, he.

[Tam Bam]

Has purpose and he's smart. You know, like this is something that could really work, but.

[A.J. Holiday]

But it took too fucking long. Yeah, that is like she should have never stuck in there that long.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, like you can work on that after work. After work.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

It's all the after work time to that. But you're going to have to help around here. I can't just do it by myself.

[A.J. Holiday]

And I know it's a movie, but listen, you got niggas who be spending their girlfriend's tax return on studio time and she over there in the corner cheering them on, you know what I'm saying? And he's never what charlamagne low phrase was in his first book. Fuck your dreams. That might be somebody else's dream. Okay? It may never work for you. Fuck your dreams. You gotta be realistic. Sometimes I don't like that. Listen, you have to be realistic.

[Tam Bam]

You also have to be delusional about your dream though.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, not on somebody else's dime. He would have never been able to do any of those things if she didn't exist. If he was sitting there in a house that he delusional.

[Tam Bam]

Delusional about your dream on somebody else's dime. By all means, do it.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, that is. That's abuse. What the hell? By all means do it.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, in business they say, don't use Your own money. Use somebody else's all the time.

[A.J. Holiday]

If you and your. We talking about a husband and wife, Tammy, okay? We not talking about going to a bank for a loan, okay? These motherfuckers was about to be popers. That's how much he drained her because he didn't have any money to do these things. I know these people in real life. This is why I sound like this right now.

[Tam Bam]

You know somebody in real life getting Absolutely.

[A.J. Holiday]

Who be going very close, okay? Who be going. And I want her to get a new husband. She should have been had a new husband.

[Tam Bam]

He rap.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, he don't rap. But he can't keep a goddamn job. And you always funding and financing his fucking dreams. Yes, I know these people. And she. She hasn't reached her full potential because that energy has been in her life for 20 years.

[Tam Bam]

Damn, I hate that.

[A.J. Holiday]

I feel like she should be way further. She's fucking. She's an intellectual. She's really, really smart. But this is the dumbest part of her life love. You know what I'm saying? Like, no, this is not like going to a bank. This is. In your household, you don't use somebody. You don't use people.

[Tam Bam]

No, I agree.

[A.J. Holiday]

People are meant to be used, right? If you can't be used, you're just a fucking ass. You're just a liability. He was a fucking liability. She couldn't use him.

[Tam Bam]

That's why I think you should use each other.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. She wasn't getting nothing out of it. Right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

At that time. Okay, so now. Yeah, you got all the money. He wrote her the big check to pay for all the things that was I now. Y' all not together. Your shit blew up. You give her the check. Understandable, right? That wasn't enough for her because she still loved him. She wanted her man, too, and the good life.

[Tam Bam]

Now you get to move on. She had this emotional investment that wasn't paid on. Like, that's really what it was. It was no amount of money that could have satisfied how she felt because it was the emotional investment that was missing for her.

[A.J. Holiday]

And this is why I always say I'm okay with giving a woman a refurbished man. Right? Because maybe you're not meant to do the things with me, and I'm okay with that. Right? So you're going to go on, you're going to learn from this relationship, and you're going to be a better man to the next woman. If. If you keep saying, oh, now he. If you keep thinking about what that person is going to Do. They're going to do better now, and they were with somebody else. If you keep thinking or wanting a return on your investment, you going to be disappointed all the time. You're going to be like Melinda. So you got to be okay with leaving somebody when things are right. Aren't right with y' all together.

[Tam Bam]

Give so much of yourself that you have resentment to this level.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly. We talked about this the other day. Like. Yeah. Like, don't do. Don't do anything if it's not from the heart, you know? And don't do anything if you expect in a return.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Even if it is from the heart. Don't overextend yourself to the point where you feel disrespectful, because it can happen. It can happen. And you look up and you've given a man your best years and he go off to be happy with somebody else.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. And you gotta be okay with that possibility. Don't stay in a relationship because you feel like, man, if we break up, why she gonna go do better with somebody else. You gotta be okay with that. Go do better with somebody else.

[Tam Bam]

You could do it too.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly. So you thinking a little bit too little of yourself if you think that you can't get into another relationship where things are better for you as well.

[Tam Bam]

So was Diana an innocent party or a home wrecker?

[A.J. Holiday]

I believe she was an innocent party.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? She had the tools that he needed. And if you're my friend, why wouldn't I help you?

[Tam Bam]

And that home was already wrecked by the time they started. You know.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly.

[Tam Bam]

In a romantic way, that home was already broken.

[A.J. Holiday]

And he didn't want to break up. He didn't want to break up with Melinda. He wasn't really trying to leave her. So that's the part where, eh, he's a villain because he was using her. Right. He may not see it that way, and people watching the movie may not see it that way. He definitely used the hell out of his wife.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he did.

[A.J. Holiday]

And she allowed him to use her because he. Because she believed in him.

[Tam Bam]

But that's why he tried to con. He wrote her a check for like, what, $10 million. He bought her house back. You know, he tried to make amends for all the years of abuse, you know, financial abuse. He tried to make amends for that, but there was no amends to be made because what she wanted didn't have a dollar amount on it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

The life that was promised to her. She wanted to penthouse him. She wanted the boat and he gave all this to this other woman and the baby that she could never have. That girl was in the courtroom, chastising her, rubbing her belly, looking at her baby. I know that pissed. That would have pissed me, anybody off, right? Because she knows she can't mother a child. And this is the same woman that you cheated on me with and had me go to. Now, she had to take accountability for what she did because you can't have a baby because you drive like anybody who drive a car into a building. Baby, you need therapy, y' all.

[A.J. Holiday]

Somebody. I remember somebody had commented on Instagram, I just started thinking about this just now when you was talking about the girl rubbing the belly. Somebody had commented. It was like A.J. seemed like she got built up or bent up anger or something inside. I really don't. But let me tell y' all how people be fucking with me, right? Because I know who I am and they can't. So they really try real hard to fuck with me. Don't y' all know my ex sent me a picture of him. He delivered his child after we broke up, right? He had a baby, got somebody pregnant, had another baby. Third baby. Third baby, mama. Nigga, you was not the prize. He sent me a picture delivering this baby at the house. He sent me a picture of this baby straight out the pussy. Like, the girl's foot. Amniotic fluid was on the floor. The girl's foot was in the picture. But you sent my mom a regular ass picture with the baby with clothes on and shit like that. Like, what the fuck? Like, that type of shit will make you kill a nigga.

[Tam Bam]

Especially because he knew how bad you wanted to be your mom.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's not even. You know, I still. I realize now that things aren't supposed to happen because you're not. You're not in a situation you're supposed to be in for it to fucking happen, right? So I was never supposed to have his child. It wasn't that I wanted a child so bad. It's my subconscious mind not allowing it to happen because I wasn't where I was supposed to be at, right? That's all it is. We determine when we gonna have kids for real. And women do have to be comfortable to conceive, and I wasn't. But the nerve of you son of a bitch. Just send me that fucking picture with the. I just couldn't believe it. The shit was fucking funny as hell to me, but this. You done went through the fucking fire with a nigga, and this is how they will repay you. Because why you think I want to see that? And then I had to also think like maybe he didn't even think about it like that, you know what I'm saying? But then I just knowing his like the routine bullshit from him, he definitely did that on purpose.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he did. And that was hurtful.

[A.J. Holiday]

Weirdo shit.

[Tam Bam]

That was hurtful.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, that's how people be fucking with me. So it's not bent up anger because I talk about my shit, bitch. So. So it's not something that's like settling inside, but imagine that for a second. The fuck? Anyway, yeah, like I kind of like.

[Tam Bam]

So you don't feel like you're angry?

[A.J. Holiday]

No, no, I am just. I am fucking strict. I'm very stern. I don't play about me. So that's probably how it comes out to people because I. You cannot play with me. That's all it is. I am not a fucking nice person. I am good. I go above and beyond for people and I just be wanting that same thing in return but realizing that, you know, everybody just isn't like that. It's okay. But I'm gonna defend me every time.

[Tam Bam]

So question. Overall, do you think men are good overall? I think the audience to know, like where you stand.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I think a lot of men, I think a lot of men lack integrity. Right. I think a lot of men, they lie a lot and it's not just me. I think most women feel the same way. Right. Men will not tell you the truth. They will put your life in their hands and make decisions for you as opposed to telling you the truth and giving you all the information. So you're making an informed decision about what you want for your life. So that's really all it is. A lot of. Most men lack integrity. Yes. I saw this post on Instagram recently and this guy was like, if I tell you this, I'm not gonna get the pussy. Like if you tell, you don't know that though. You know what I'm saying? So they don't even wanna run the risk of you not fucking with them. So from day one they just met you at Walmart. They'll start with lies. That is somebody who lacks integrity. Yeah, you just lying for no reason. I'm a stranger. Tell me the truth and let me decide whether or not I wanna fuck with you or not. Tell me you married. Tell me you got a baby on the way. Tell me all you want is pussy. Tell me that. I might just wanna fuck. I might not want nothing either.

[Tam Bam]

I don't think most men lack Integrity.

[A.J. Holiday]

When it comes to relationships with women.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I don't think that. I think most of the men we've dated like integrity. I think there are good men out there. I think they're just not available to us anymore. I think there are.

[A.J. Holiday]

Don't just say men we dated. Let's talk about our dads.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. Private examples.

[Tam Bam]

I hate to, like, generalize all men in a negative connotation and be like.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, because I said most. I didn't say all. I did say most, though, because I.

[Tam Bam]

Hate when men do that to us and be like, most women are gold diggers. Or most women we should be, though.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't. I don't. I'm not offended by that. Women should be gold diggers. It is our job to make sure we pick the best suitable mates to procreate with, okay? And if we actually did that, a lot of niggas would die having never had sex if we actually did the primal thing, right? And picked the best person to have a family with.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. And I agree. But I think a gold digger is something different, you know, I don't think. Cause that. That's not just about money. That's also about emotional intelligence, integrity, like spirituality, and all those things encompass. A good mate is not just finances, whereas a gold digger is a woman who's looking for the man with the most money, you know? So I. You know, I don't believe that to be true. Not all women are gold diggers. Now, do they want a man who can provide and be a good mate and a good father? Yes. Why wouldn't you want that? No, I don't want to know. Who wants somebody who they got to drag along like another child. Nobody wants that. So go dating different.

[A.J. Holiday]

I think everything is necessary, Right. Women who only date men for money, I'm pretty sure that at some point they were dating for love, too, right? And they realized that because men want to dig your pussy. Why you can't dig the gold. Okay, why can't I?

[Tam Bam]

But it's a man I really want more than just pussy.

[A.J. Holiday]

Ooh, Am I tripping, y' all? Who you think they reduce us to cooking, cleaning, and fucking? What are you talking about? That is what we like. Supposedly, that's all we're good for. I just told somebody last week, like, women have an innate thing about them that you can't even see or touch, but you only can feel, right? And if you are not a man with purpose, right, you're going to be. You're looking. You don't realize that this woman that you're taking care of who have buried your children, right? There's two different type of men in the world. There's either one who wants to take care of, like a man who feeds his ego based on how many people he can take care of, and then the other man is how many bitches he can fuck. All right? Those are the two type of men that we're dealing with. I prefer, you know, men who like to take care of people who go above and beyond for their family out.

[Tam Bam]

There that are healed, healthy, looking for a partner to grow with, build generational wealth with, with, start a family with.

[A.J. Holiday]

They may feel just like us right now.

[Tam Bam]

And it's not just based on fucking cooking and what else you said and.

[A.J. Holiday]

Sucking dick and cleaning right there. Yes, there are some men, right? But they may have given the best of themselves to the gold diggers, to whoever else. So it's going to be hard for us to meet them, you know what I'm saying? Because they probably feeling like us. Shit, I do better by myself, right? I don't need a man. I don't need a woman for this.

[Tam Bam]

I like you, Sweat. I don't need y' all.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't need y' all. It's. It's. It's. It's probably given that for those men, they probably in the house like we in the house, trying to fit. Trying to get their portfolios together, right? Trying to diversify their portfolio, like really working on their lives. Because women come with the money, first of all. So I would suggest all men just. Just focus on the money for real. Just focus on getting the bag. So then you could get. You can attract the. The partner you want.

[Tam Bam]

But it may not like gold diggers.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's the problem. They like the women who only because that you. I think a lot of modern women, because I have a different definition of modern women. I think a lot of modern women, we take men's jobs away. The man's job is to provide. But when you acting like you the nigga with money, mm. Then you complain. When you get somebody who's a taker, you end up with this nigga who needs your money, who needs your time, who needs your energy.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know if you act like the nigga with no money.

[A.J. Holiday]

Girl, me either.

[Tam Bam]

I'm always the damsel in distress.

[A.J. Holiday]

See, it's tough for me to be the damsel in distress, right? Because I. I won't act like the nigga with the money, but I probably have an aura about myself that I'MMA be okay without you. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't really know.

[Tam Bam]

Like, I make these niggas feel like I need, I need you.

[A.J. Holiday]

And that's how men have to feel, like they. Yeah, but then everybody gets burnt out, right? So imagine a man who's been taking care of his family for 15 years and he's the prime decision maker, right? Your wife doesn't make any decisions, and it's probably because you're a control freak, right? You pick this type of woman because you want to be in control of everybody in your household. So that's something that man has to work through. But you can't have resentment towards her for not using her brain much. That's the type of woman you wanted, right?

[Tam Bam]

You. And I think oftentimes somebody you gotta take care of. These women don't. They do have brains. But you have, you have made it to a place where she hasn't had to use it, you know, so.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. And then he go. When he, when he gets to a certain place, he might leave you. You ain't stack none of his money.

[Tam Bam]

But let me take. All right, let me, let me recant that. Because any woman who's in there raising your children has to use her brain a lot, A lot. So she may not be using it toward business and things like that and more money, but when it comes to raising these children, it is a job in itself.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. And I feel like if you are.

[Tam Bam]

That woman in that way.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. I feel like if you are a man with means, a man of integrity, you realize the innate, like, the value that a woman actually brings. Like, mamas come with a loaf of bread. You get the right woman, your whole life elevates. You get married, you have a fucking. We can use Charlemagne as a prime example. I met Jessica and Charlamagne at the same time. All right? I'm 17. However, how old they are? Like, Jessica's a little bit, little bit older than me. Charlemagne is older than both of us, but I met them at the same time when he was just working at radio station, part time type shit, right? It is her energy. And you know, people won't see that though, right? It is her energy that got him to where he is, and he knows that as a man. And that's why Charlamagne always surround himself with women, because that's what successful men do. It is just something like, you're not going to have to worry about the cockfights because kings are born, right? You can't really, like, you can you can be apprenticeship underneath another king so you can get your king position, right? That's what a smart man would do. But a lot of these niggas want to be the fucking chief day one. They don't want to be the Indian. And that's what we're missing in our community. Men learning from actual other men so that they can then be in position. These niggas just want to take somebody else's position because they think they deserve it, right? You don't know what this person had to go through to get there. You don't know who else made sacrifices for this person to get to where they're going also. So it is the energy of the woman that enables the man to do the thing, to go out and get the bread, right? To bring it back home. It's the energy of his family, knowing he has his purpose. I got to take care of these people. This is my responsibility. They're going to do it. But when they want somebody to take.

[Tam Bam]

Care of them, good thing. That's what it says in the Bible. A woman wants to treat you as a man. I agree.

[A.J. Holiday]

These. They don't. These men don't realize it, though. We're not. This. This life is based off of double occupancy. None of us should be trying to do it ourselves. Y' all should see that. Based on the fucking economy, no one person should be trying to afford their lives by themselves. Like, yes, women have been forced to do that, though, now, because it's easier than to be with a second person, having to then struggle with them. Because oftentimes we're taking other people into consideration before we take ourselves.

[Tam Bam]

And then, you know, now you get dragged. Big Mama and them, they didn't really have a lot of choice. You know, they had to be with someone because they couldn't afford to do it by themselves. It wasn't like the opportunities that we have now because I don't, you know, do we think that Big Mama would have wanted to stay with Granddaddy if she could go out on her own and do it?

[A.J. Holiday]

Absolutely not. But I don't believe every big mama's story is the same because there were some real good men back then, right, who didn't have multiple families.

[Tam Bam]

Well, there's good men now. I don't want to feel like, yeah, they.

[A.J. Holiday]

They definitely exist. I know some. I ran into some, right? And then I just didn't like them and ended up somewhere I wasn't supposed to fucking be because it was funner over there. This nigga was Strict over here, you know what I'm saying? So I definitely know good men exist. I'm not saying they don't exist. And I'm also not going to say I've never dated a good man because have. I think if you are a woman who say all ain't, chances are you ain't either, right? That's not what I'm saying. Okay, Because I am. But I do believe again, a lot of men do lack integrity, right? Even the good ones. Even the self proclaimed good.

[Tam Bam]

I just, I. I agree. But I don't think it's just men. I think it's just people, you know, people lack integrity. People need therapy. People need to work on themselves and.

[A.J. Holiday]

Who be working on themselves the most so we can. So we can show up as our higher selves to people.

[Tam Bam]

I think we do. I think women, you know, are definitely actively trying to be better versions of themselves. But I feel like men are too, you know, we just may be doing it faster. I don't think. I mean, there's some men that's just out here ain't shit and don't care, you know, and they just gonna die. Ain't shit. But I think it's, you know, there's men out here who are not proud of their past and trying to be better versions of theyself actively every day.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, leave that nigga. Let me tell y' all. Men learn from hurt. Men learn from consequence consequences. Men learn from pain. I'm telling y' all what I fucking know, right? So he will remember the hurt, right? They don't. Nobody likes to be left, especially a narc, okay? You just ice cold they ass. They're going to be a good man to the next bitch. Savannah. Maybe it just wasn't supposed to be for you. And then you can get somebody else's refurbished nigga, okay? And then voila, you got a husband. It's gotta be open.

[Tam Bam]

Never be Melinda, though. That's the thing.

[A.J. Holiday]

I would never be Melinda. And I, I won't say that my last relationship, we was starting businesses and stuff like that together. I haven't gotten a return on any investment, okay? The last conversation I had with this fool, we was arguing about the food truck shit. This last conversation, I didn't get my return on the investment. You got the food truck? I'm just saying you can't have the name, you can't have the company, you can't have the trademark. I'll sell it to you, I'll license it to you. But do you think I'm not supposed to get anything. You came up. You wanted to do this thing, right? And I made the initial investment, so I kicked it off.

[Tam Bam]

So do you feel like you have resentment about this?

[A.J. Holiday]

No, I don't. I just want my fair share. I wish we could have been. I wish we could have been, like, still in a position where we could do business together and not be together, but he's not that type of person. I definitely wish we could have done that, but I wouldn't have been able to be in a new relationship and having to deal with him on a daily basis now, other way around. I don't care who you with, let's get this fucking money. I wish I had. We could have done that. But no. And there's no resentment towards it. But you ain't about to play me. You not about to play me. So, yeah, I need mine. I need my money. Honey.

[Tam Bam]

No, I'm not mad at that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, you can give me my money back. You know, you. You don't even have to give me interest. You just give me back what I put in and I'll be okay with it. But no, you're not just about to get everything. And you sending me foots and amniotic fluid pictures with fucking umbilical cords still attached. Yeah, that was hurtful.

[Tam Bam]

That was hurtful to send you. And I bet you in his mind he wasn't trying to be hurtful to you. I think he was trying to celebrate.

[A.J. Holiday]

Possibly. Possibly, right?

[Tam Bam]

But I don't think people sometimes don't understand how even their joy can be hurtful to you, you know, Especially if you had been in a relationship and knowing that motherhood was something that I wanted, you know? So I hate that. I don't like that. I don't like nothing about what happened with that relationship for you. And I do hope that the next relationship or the current is one that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Gives you, not the next, or the.

[Tam Bam]

Current gives you everything that you've always wanted.

[A.J. Holiday]

Girl, I'm always going to get what I want. I just have to. I think what women need to do, and this is not just for me, all right? We need to trust ourselves. We talked about the critical thinking last week. We need to trust ourselves more, right? And stop. And stop using. Because the men like to say they're more logical, right? We need to try to be more logical. And actually you got to do both, right? So that innate thing, and then do like a data assessment what is actually happening, right? And make your decisions based off of that. And not just pure heart and emotion, right?

[Tam Bam]

Because you'll look up and you. Melinda.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly. And you don't want to be Melinda. You don't want to be, like, crashing out like she did. I was thinking she survived. I don't know. She did get shot and went into the ocean.

[Tam Bam]

It's hard to survive that. But crazy people live a long time.

[A.J. Holiday]

Evil lives long.

[Tam Bam]

Crazy too. Crazy live.

[A.J. Holiday]

So one of the things here it does say. Was Robert a dreamer or a manipulator?

[Tam Bam]

He was both.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

So here's the thing. Like, I wasn't mad at either character because I don't think he meant to be that, you know, a user. I don't think that was his intention. He was just focused on his own dream. I don't think Melinda wanted. She just wanted to love her husband down and wanted to be loved back. And she had mental health issues where she couldn't handle her anger. I don't think either one of them was, like, intentional villains, you know?

[A.J. Holiday]

He had no room for error, though, in that relationship, aside from, like, long as she knew he was there working on that thing, that n. Had no room for anything else. No errors. She probably would have killed him.

[Tam Bam]

She tried to kill him again.

[A.J. Holiday]

He probably would have killed him again. So I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

It's a sad story. I would love to see an acrimony, too. What's your last. Last.

[A.J. Holiday]

For this? For the movie?

[Tam Bam]

No, just for the conversation itself. Because this was more than the movie, right? I'll tell mine while you think of yours.

[A.J. Holiday]

I guess it would be. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

I think it always circles back to keep your regrets to a minimum, y' all. Keep your regrets to a minimum. Try to make the best choices for your life and all, and then consider others as. As you go. You know, you can't be too selfish. It's all about balance. Can be too selfish, but you also need to be a bit selfish. It has to be like that, that middle ground, or you could end up resentful and wasting your time and then just love yourself on purpose and others. That's all I got.

[A.J. Holiday]

So I just feel like she gave him everything. Her money, her time, her youth, all the things, right? So I think what women often are looking for is reciprocity. Give and take. In no relationship, may it be in a romantic relationship or even with your friends or family. There should not. You should not always be somebody that someone calls to take from. Right. People should also be doing for you. And that's where, you know, you don't end up with resentment, because I guess I want to pose a question to the listeners. If you invest in someone's potential and they finally win big, what do they owe you? What do you feel is just due? What do you feel like, how do you. What do you feel about the check? Is it big enough? Like, what would you require to be okay after you've given your entire life to somebody else? Because she gave her mental health. This is what she. She's never. She would. If she lived. She was never going to be able to go and be with somebody else. This had her fucked up forever.

[Tam Bam]

No. Why, though? That's the thing.

[A.J. Holiday]

Because that. In her mind, that was her person. That is who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with in her mind. But I guess it had conditions also, right?

[Tam Bam]

I don't think you should ever be that attached to anybody in this life ever.

[A.J. Holiday]

Absolutely not. I. I purposely practice detachment.

[Tam Bam]

Just, you know, you got. Because you are going up out of here by yourself. I don't give a damn who you. You know, you got to leave here by yourself. So it's okay to love, but the greatest love is to love yourself. God himself, because you. You can't take nobody with you.

[A.J. Holiday]

Nope.

[Tam Bam]

So, I don't know. Never be that attached to. And if you are that attached to someone, then you need to go to therapy and see how to untether in that way. That's not healthy, you know?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. All right, y' all, we gotta start making these. Maybe we'll start doing the movie episodes for, like, Patreon. We can't just keep doing movie reviews for episodes, y' all. I like it, too. I mean, because it opens up dialogue for other conversation. Right? Not just the movie. Like, how would you do it? Who's tripping? Anyway, so if y' all enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the black effect iHeartradio app or wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday, on the ones and twos 2.0 on Instagram. Okay. Kick a Tam, y' all.

[Tam Bam]

It's official. Tam Bam. I love y' all on purpose. I want you to love yourself on purpose and always channel the energy of Cardi B Cash doll a Tiana Taylor when it comes, period, baby.

[A.J. Holiday]

Move on.

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right, remember, speak now and never hold them, girl. Get up out of there.

[Tam Bam]

Deuces. Bye.

[A.J. Holiday]

Bye.

[Carlos Miller]

Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Just kidding. I am the boss. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South show and building A career isn't just about a job, it's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or even making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com Are you still.

[A.J. Holiday]

Quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide, and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report how to have fun anytime, anywhere step one go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com got it. Step two collect your welcome bonus.

[Tam Bam]

Come to papa.

[A.J. Holiday]

Welcome bonus. Step 3 Play hundreds of casino style games for free. That's a lot of games, all for free. Step 4 Unleash your excitement. Chumba Casino has been delivering thrills for over a decade, so claim your free welcome bonus now and live the chumba life. Visit chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary.

[Tam Bam]

VGW Group void where prohibited by law.

[A.J. Holiday]

21 + terms and conditions apply. It's summer time to enjoy long days, lazy nights and great food because Uber Eats has deals all summer long. So when hunger strikes, don't sweat it. Delicious deals are just a tap away on Uber Eats. Enjoy all your favorite grocery items delivered straight to you. Get ice cream, soda and snacks from your favorite stores like Wegmans and cvs and make the most of every moment. Now that sounds like a good summer. Order now on UberEats reads terms apply. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. This is an iHeart podcast.