Replay* | The Judgment Olympics with Good Mom Bad Choices

Summary

We Talk Back: "The Judgment Olympics" with Good Moms Bad Choices

Release Date: January 2, 2026
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Guests: Mila & Erica (Good Moms Bad Choices)
Podcast Theme: A sharp, unfiltered discussion led by unapologetic Black women, focusing on sex, relationships, motherhood, femininity, judgment, and empowerment—sprinkled with humor, wisdom, and a defiant spirit.

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Episode Overview

In this vibrant crossover episode, TamBam and AJ from We Talk Back team up with Mila and Erica of Good Moms Bad Choices for a candid, hilarious, and deeply honest conversation about the "Judgment Olympics"—the ways society judges women, particularly single women, mothers, and those defying patriarchal norms. The group dives into stereotypes, dating confessions, internet controversies, and the quest for authenticity, all while celebrating the right to live out loud—on their own terms.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up & Relatability

(03:11 - 13:00)

• The women open with banter about weekends, travels, and life transitions (from moving cities to breaking feet at weddings).
• They discuss the challenges of transplant life: finding belonging, scattered belongings across cities, healing, and settling down.
• Quote:

  “I've been like a gypsy for the past year…after a year of living out of a suitcase and boxes, I'm finally about to be back in an apartment of my own⁠—back in Charlotte, the place I did not necessarily want to be. But here we are.”
  —TamBam (08:13)

2. Single Women and the Judgment of Sexual Histories

(15:03 – 21:02)

• The hosts dive into the hot topic of men asking women for a "list" of sexual partners.
• Loud rejection of the concept, with wit and wisdom:

  “Not only am I not giving you my list because I don't remember and I didn't write it down. …I'm also going to stop talking to you for even asking such an ignorant, ridiculous question.”
  —Mila (15:11)

• Honest admissions about lying (or not answering) and how double standards play out.
• Playful “hoe facts” logic:

  “If you wore a condom, it doesn't count, period.”
  —Mila (18:47)

• Commentary on the insecurity and ego behind men’s curiosity and how women navigate those situations gracefully.

3. Culture, Backlash, and Internet Clamor

(21:02 – 26:39)

• The group discusses the negative reaction Ayesha Curry received for reflecting on her early marriage and motherhood.
• Erica:

  “What woman who got married at 21 and got pregnant within the same year…why would she not be reflecting at this age, in her 30s now…the shoulda, coulda, woulda?” (21:37)

• A call-out on how both men and women uphold restrictive stereotypes about “wife” behavior.
• Shining a light on the social media tendency to distort and amplify narratives, especially about Black women.

4. Patriarchy, Matriarchy, and Gendered Power

(28:08 – 35:00)

• Potent exchange on whether we live in a patriarchy.
• AJ:

  “I always say how being submissive, that is definitely an ultimate form of manipulation. …There’s always women behind the scenes…actually running things.” (28:16)

• Mila:

  “Women are the gods on the planet, and this is why these niggas mad.” (30:18)

• Consensus that balance between masculine and feminine energy is necessary, but noting the deep-rooted societal inequalities (e.g., “pink tax” for women’s products).

5. Stereotypes of Mothers and the Child-Free

(41:07 – 46:09)

• The “Judgment Olympics” segment lists societal stereotypes about single mothers (they have ‘baggage’, are ‘unwanted’, etc.) and child-free women (selfish, ‘clock is ticking’).
• The group mocks the double standards around parenting expectations, especially between mothers and fathers.
• AJ:

  “Just because I don’t have kids does not mean I ain’t got shit to do, okay?” (42:00)

• They highlight the rudeness and insensitivity of questions like “Why don’t you have kids?”

6. Motherhood, Friendship, and Reclaiming Identity

(46:10 – 55:14)

• Mila and Erica reflect on their different journeys as mothers and how judgments, especially from other women, shaped their experiences.
• The importance of maintaining identity and joy while mothering, and resisting the trap of ‘mom martyrdom’.
• Erica:

  “I was heading down a path of imprisonment …when I went into motherhood, I felt like that girl had to die. …But your child deserves to see you show up as a whole human.” (48:14)

• Friendship dynamics shift post-motherhood; sometimes friends drop off, sometimes they rally.

7. Games: Would You Rather & Relationship Red Flags

(58:13 – 72:12)

Playful, revealing “Would You Rather” games, e.g.:

• Worshipful man with no ambition vs. challenging man who triggers you.
• Build up a man vs. find him ‘built’ but boring.
• Cheated with a baddie vs. a basic in Crocs.
• Preference for men who moan during sex, or don’t make a sound.
• The group’s hilarious, honest takes showcase their refusal to settle or hide their desires.

Memorable Moment:

“He sounded like a cartoon villain. He was like, ‘muahahaha’… That's how he came.”
—TamBam, explaining why she broke up with a guy (66:23)

8. Dumb Bitch Stories – Vulnerability + Laughter

(76:12 – 88:50)

Both Mila and Erica share wild, vulnerable “dumb bitch stories” about dodgy men, broken trust, and letting love/sex cloud judgment.

• Erica’s: Flying out a broke ‘model’ who ended up being a scam artist and proposed with a tiny ring during sex.
• Mila’s: Accidentally inviting a manipulative, short king with a big dog and bigger red flags into her life; escapades included consensual non-consensual kink, spiritual manipulation, and slapstick moments—until it became dangerous and Erica had to intervene.

Quotes:

“I have one final question. Is this him? Are these his pictures? Is he a model? …No, this was not him in any of the pictures. So I was basically just dating a whole lie.”
—Erica (79:58)

“I was like a crackhead for this dick, okay?”
—Mila (86:51)

9. Plugging Sisterhood & Self-Love

(89:27 – End)

• Mila and Erica plug their Good Moms Bad Choices brand, its retreats, and book, encouraging women to find community and healing.
• A final word on the importance of supportive friendship and genuine expression:

  “I don't want to be a lonely rich bitch… Who am I gonna go home to the yacht with?”
  —Mila (69:10)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Not only am I not giving you my list because I don't remember and I didn't write it down... I'm not in 12th grade.”
  —Mila (15:11)
• “I've hoed across the country, you know, I live in a different city than I hoe in.”
  —Mila (17:32)
• “If you wore a condom, it doesn't count, period.”
  —Mila (18:47)
• "It's not selfish not to want to be responsible for somebody else for the rest of your life."
  —AJ Holiday (52:08)
• “The longer you wait to have kids, you get more information.”
  —AJ Holiday (44:00)
• “Our entire podcast is about—I've done everything except fit that mold hard.”
  —Erica (46:30)
• “Motherhood really showed me who my friends were… it continues to.”
  —Erica (52:23)
• “I let him move in, and he was bipolar… then he slapped me in my face...I was like, oh, God's really trying to try me right now. Like, are you a real dumb bitch?”
  —Mila (86:14)
• “Those short dudes be packing sometimes… but… they might slap you. They're going to mind-fuck your brain.”
  —Mila (87:23)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:11 – Hosts and guests catch up, share funny personal updates
• 15:03 – Discussion: Giving partners a “list” of sexual partners
• 21:02 – Ayesha Curry, backlash, and women’s public narratives
• 28:08 – Patriarchy, matriarchy, and gendered power
• 41:07 – The Judgment Olympics: Stereotypes of single mothers and child-free women
• 46:10 – Navigating motherhood and friendship
• 58:13 – "Would You Rather?" relationship games
• 76:12 – “Dumb Bitch Story” segment: Dating scams, dickmatization, and red flags
• 89:27 – Guest plugs and wrap up

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Tone and Style

Raw, unfiltered, and comedic—these women blend wisdom with riotous humor, swinging effortlessly from introspection and sisterly advice to wild stories about love, sex, and the shenanigans of modern womanhood. The conversation is energetic, irreverent, and deeply real.

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Concluding Thoughts

This episode is a must-listen for any woman who’s ever felt scrutinized for her choices, questioned her place, or just needed to laugh at the absurdities of dating, motherhood, and life. Through honest storytelling, mutual support, and sharp wit, the hosts and guests carve out a space where women are free to be their full selves—glitter, flaws, and all.

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Find Good Moms Bad Choices:

• IG: @goodmoms_badchoices, @milah_map, @watcherica
• Podcast: Good Moms Bad Choices
• Book: "A Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices"
• Retreat info: Good Vibe Retreat

Find We Talk Back:

• IG: @OfficialTamBam, @AJHoliday2.0
• Stream episodes on iHeartRadio and all major platforms

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Transcript

[Mila]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Erica]

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[Erica]

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[Mila]

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[Mila]

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[Mila]

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[Erica]

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[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.

[Mila]

Hey, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

It's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, aj. I love y' all so much. How was your weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

My weekend was very uneventful. It's been getting cold outside, and that's it. There's really nothing much going on in South Carolina right now. I'm hibernating.

[Tam Bam]

It's fall, so you didn't have bae.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, stop asking about that.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, you tell me every week, so I was just wondering.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you asked me. I don't be mentioning him. Yeah, okay, because you asked me, and sometimes I'd be having to explain some that I said on this. This damn podcast.

[Tam Bam]

Listen. I. So he listens every week. I make sure my don't listen every week.

[AJ Holiday]

He be knowing what we talking about. Like, last week, he was like, so you want a marathon? Actually, I do, so I wasn't talking about you.

[Tam Bam]

So he's gonna have two shows to listen to this week, ours and our guests. So, y', all, we got some amazing guests on. They're cousins to the podcast. They're like our sister show on the network because it's female led. Mila and Erica from Good Moms Bad Choices is our guest on the show this week. Welcome, ladies.

[Erica]

Hi.

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'. All. Hey, girl.

[AJ Holiday]

Hey.

[Tam Bam]

So we just got on with them yesterday, and we had a really good time talking with them, and now we had to bring them over here with our View listeners. So maybe y' all can jump on and listen to their show. If you already. Aren't they probably already tuning in, So I don't know where I was about to go with it.

[AJ Holiday]

How was your weekend? How's la?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah. Let's talk about y'. All.

[Mila]

Weekend LA is pretty uneventful. I feel like it's gotten very dry since 2020. So I was in. I was in New York, and then I went to Miami because I was avoiding coming home because why come home when I could go to Miami? And actually, I had a pretty eventful week In New York, I danced with Sierra at the Soho House.

[Erica]

I saw.

[Tam Bam]

I saw that.

[Mila]

It's pretty epic. It wasn't planned. I don't know her at all. People think I'm really cool now. Like, oh, my God, you guys blew up. I'm like, yeah, me and sis. And then I went to Miami, and I wandered into a drag brunch by myself, made seven friends and joined the dance contest, even though they said locals only. I was like, locos or locals. And whatever, I joined anyway. I didn't win, though, which was a tragedy. But other than that. And today I went and tried on wedding dresses, so I've had an eventful week.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, you had a very eventful week. What about you, Erica?

[Erica]

Excuse me. I was also in New York with Mila and witnessed her dance with Sierra. Then if you have a second, go on our page. Good Mom's bad choices. And go see the knees, because Mila's knees are well oiled. Okay?

[Tam Bam]

Period.

[Erica]

And what else did I do? I came back. I had to jump straight back into motherhood. So my daughter had cheerleading. I fucked up, and I got to the damn homecoming. We got her to the homecoming game late. She missed the whole performance. Bad choice, Mom. Good. Whatever the fuck. So that was annoying. Other than that, I've just been chilling, girl. I'm. I've just been relaxing, decompressing. I love New York, but every time I come back, I'm a little bit, like, tired. I just feel, like, energetically, like, it just pulls me a lot. Even this trip, I was actually really well behaved. Like, normally when I'm in New York, I'm, like, outside. And this trip, I was the calmest I've ever been in New York City in my whole fucking life. But I still came back and needed, like, two days of recovery, so I've just been chilling. Today is raining in la, and I love it. I love a good rain. It feels cleansing. And now I'm on here with you ladies.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't I always say that about New York? Like, it's like a. They're definitely, like, harvesting our energy. Between Atlanta and New York, I'm always feeling, like, drained.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you always say that you hate New York.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm good.

[Tam Bam]

So. Okay. Let me tell you about my weekend. I didn't tell y'.

[Mila]

All.

[Tam Bam]

So my mom just purchased a new house. I was out helping her. I know. I'm so happy for her. I'll buy new furniture for her house. And I've been. So, as you know, y' all may not know, I've been like a gypsy for the past year. So I came out to LA. I was there for like 45 days and I broke my foot. So then I left la.

[Erica]

And then you broke your foot in la?

[Tam Bam]

No, I came back home for a wedding and I jumped to catch the bouquet. Broke my foot on the landing. Yeah.

[Mila]

Did someone push you?

[Tam Bam]

No, so.

[Mila]

Oh my God.

[Tam Bam]

So my stuff is still in la in the storage unit right now. So I haven't been back. It's been almost. It's been a year. So I'm going back out. I'll be back out there soon. We have to hang out for that.

[Mila]

45 day.

[Tam Bam]

I was moving here. Yeah.

[Mila]

You decided not to move because you broke your foot.

[Tam Bam]

Yes, and I just didn't want to be out there without a village with a broken foot. Can't drive, you know, all those things. So then I came back to South Carolina to my mom's house and to heal. And then in February I got an apartment in New York, but I was subletting that. It wasn't like my own space and it was furnished, so my shit was in a storage unit in Charlotte. Some of my stuff was in a storage unit in la. And then the stuff I brought with me to New York, right. So like I'm scattered and then there's shit in South Carolina. So now. Yeah, like just very scattered. So now my mom is like moving. So now I would either need to move my shit in her house to her new house or just get my own place. So I've been apart apartment shop. And finally, after a year of living out of a suitcase and boxes, I'm finally about to be back in an apartment of my own back in Charlotte, the place I did not necessarily want to be. But here we are. So that's what I was doing all weekend, looking at apartments and it's fun. I found a really like. I think right now is a good time to be like apartment hunting because it's cheap. I mean.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, I won't say cheap because I'm paying rent.

[Mila]

Can you share for the west coast people listening? Can you please tell me I found.

[Tam Bam]

Jealous and mad this cute ass apartment y' all in south in Charlotte. So it's right outside of downtown and it's a six floor unit. It's 900, 990 square feet or something like that. And it's only 1860. Well, all right, so it's. It's 2090, right. But with a month free. So I just take that amount off the entire lease and it came out to 1860amonth. And it's so cute. Like, I mean, it's got like the nice finishes, like all the. All the bells and whistles.

[Mila]

Washer and dryer.

[Tam Bam]

Definitely washer and dryer. Yeah, absolutely.

[Mila]

Oh, baby, you don't get. You got to be a millionaire to have a washer and dryer in la.

[Erica]

Okay.

[Mila]

I'm not joking.

[AJ Holiday]

You got to even use water like that.

[Mila]

Right?

[Erica]

I mean, I wish that. That sounds like a. That's a great price.

[Tam Bam]

1860. So this building, it was meant to be condos, right? So it's only four units on each floor.

[Mila]

Oh, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, nice.

[Tam Bam]

And, yeah, it is just so. I can't wait to move in, girl. Now the only thing I did not. I don't have is a balcony, so I hate that because, you know, I'll be smoking. But we're just gonna open.

[Mila]

Four people on your floor. They're not gonna. With you. They. Maybe they'll leave you the.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, because it's like, corner. I'm on the corner, they're on the corner. Like, so I'm just off by myself. But I'm excited for it.

[AJ Holiday]

Big ass air purifier. You'll be all right.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah.

[Erica]

So wait, so why didn't New York.

[Mila]

Work out and why aren't you going back to la?

[Tam Bam]

Okay, so LA did not work because I just didn't feel connected there. But I didn't give it a chance. For real. I was only there a short moment.

[Mila]

I remember Orlando telling me, like, tam's moving. And then I was like, what happened to Tam? He's like, she broke her foot. And I was like, how? He was like, she was trying to catch the bouquet. I was like, wow, she really wanted that bouquet. And then I just never heard about it again. But when you said it, it reminded me.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I'm just usually competitive, especially when I'm drunk. So I was like, you.

[Erica]

Give it to me. Not. Not the whole. Not somebody else's wedding. You broke. You broke your foot and now all the attention's on you.

[Mila]

Did you have to, like, get wheeled out, that someone had to carry you out?

[Tam Bam]

Is there an ambulance? I was drunk, you know, so I just kind of hobbled out. I was like, it's fine, it's a sprain. But then the next day, that's when I realized, like, oh, my is broken. My foot was, you know, big and the pa up out of my sleep. But so la. The first day I was there, it was an earthquake. I was like. Like, I don't know if I literally.

[AJ Holiday]

We're recording virtual and then just start shaking.

[Tam Bam]

I was like, oh, this place really be shaking like this. I was like, I don't know. Like, so that just kind of, you know, was kind of off putting.

[AJ Holiday]

I was like, did Elliot fall?

[Tam Bam]

Because it was like, yeah, you thought Elliot had fell down. Like, it was the earthquake. So I didn't give LA a try. Then New York. I like New York, but New York is so. It. Like, the transportation was just so expensive. I don't. I cannot ride the train. I can't. I tried. I can't do it. You watch these movies, like sex TV shows, like Sex in the City. They're on the train and nobody really rides that for real.

[Mila]

Like, yes, they do, girl. Everybody be on there.

[Tam Bam]

No, girl, I got on that train. I was like, I'm gonna. Because I was taking acting classes, right? So I was like, I'm gonna take the train to class the day before just so I can make sure I get there on time. And I got on the train, and I don't know if this guy could sense, like, I was, you know, something, but he came over me. He was like, I can balance your chakras right now for a dollar 99 cents. He was standing over me, bitch. I was so scared. I was like, please leave me alone.

[Mila]

Balance your chakras for $1.99, bitch.

[Tam Bam]

$1.99. And he could. He was standing over me with his hands like, this, girl. And I was like, ah. Like. And I was like, I'm in. I took my classes and I love it. I'm still in school, but I'm just virtual now. But I don't like the noise pollution either. It's just too much. The train, like, I could literally hear the train. Like, it felt like it was running through my bedroom. I could hear the, like, next stop, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I could hear that from my bed. Like, I was like, I can't do this.

[Mila]

So you're traumatized.

[Tam Bam]

The south it is for me. It's warm, it's beautiful. The people are nice, the streets are clean. Yeah, it's true.

[AJ Holiday]

New York is mad Max. I'm cool on New York. Anyway, y', all, let's get into stupid Internet news.

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

We got going on today. So I know everybody. Everybody's just seen Cam Newton and all his commentary between him and his guest on his shows on Freaky Friday. So he's stirring up some again recently.

[Erica]

He.

[AJ Holiday]

He had an interview. He had Parker McKenna on Freaky Friday, and he basically stated that he asked Jasmine Brown for his. I mean, excuse me, for her list. The big list, like who you have slept with list.

[Tam Bam]

What's big for some, not for others. Aj.

[AJ Holiday]

Are y' all giving y' all man a list? List of your sexual partners?

[Mila]

Do you want me to go first?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Mila]

Not only am I not giving you my list because I don't remember and I didn't write it down because I'm a grown ass woman. I'm not in 12th grade. I'm also going to stop talking to you for you to ask me such an ignorant, ridiculous question. Because if I asked you that, you couldn't even begin. And if. Anyway, also I could lie and just put big bean number seven. Like, what are you talking about? You don't know these. And what would be the point of that? So you can judge me and be looking at me sideways? I just think it's an immature state statement. I think it's an immature request and it lets me know that emotionally and spiritually we are not on the same page because where's your list? And we're gonna cross reference and call. Call people and be like, hey, she lived there for two years. Okay, well, how was it? Like, what is the point, right? It's not apartment hunting.

[Tam Bam]

What about you?

[Erica]

Sure, I'm a lie.

[AJ Holiday]

Sure. I'm a firm believer in lying to. Okay, wait, if you're gonna.

[Mila]

If you're gonna lie, what how much? Like.

[Erica]

Okay, just like you just like he gonna lie. Like, what the are you talking about?

[Mila]

But what do you think?

[Erica]

And if I did, then what? Then what? What?

[Mila]

What are you gonna. What do you think is the number that want to hear with people, Women, like our big age, like, let's say over 35. I. I'm just curious.

[Erica]

Under 10.

[Mila]

Okay.

[Erica]

Preferably five. Under five.

[Mila]

That's like under less than one a year.

[Erica]

I feel like hoe activities in their mind.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Mila]

Okay. The men.

[Erica]

Yeah, they literally. They literally start seeing dicks entering your.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, immediately and your mouth and your eyes and your nose everywhere and everything else, essentially. He basically said like, his ego, like, his ego, you know, is just not in check enough to even deal. He was on it ill, right?

[Tam Bam]

He was.

[AJ Holiday]

He was honest. He was like. He would definitely have a bruised ego and because of who he is and like going into different spaces, he just doesn't want a sitting over in the corner when he pull up with his girl. And like, you know, just.

[Erica]

And how you think a feels because of who you are. We know you a million people. And I'm gonna walk into A part. I'm like, wait.

[AJ Holiday]

I always say if I walk into a party, it might be one person in there. I with. I walk in there with a. He probably done hit by 20 in here. So who's really the hoe, right? What are we talking about? I don't even.

[Mila]

Honestly. And I've done some hoeing. I really don't even. The one person rule. Like, it is so rare that we're gonna. I've hoed across the country, you know, I live in a different city than I hoe in. So, yeah, like, they're spread out niggas.

[AJ Holiday]

In the same zip code. Dang, you a hoe.

[Mila]

And I'm not the kind of hoe that you can ever disrespect. Any. Any nigga I fuck still wants to be my friend, he's gonna.

[Tam Bam]

He, he. Ha ha.

[Mila]

And your face, my face. He's gonna be happy to see us because we had a good run and I didn't do nothing but be nice to him. And honestly, for all the men and women listening who don't know how to, like, go. Go about these type of situations, you don't say shit until you are in the room with the nigga and you think he's gonna speak and you think maybe they know each other. In that case, right as he's approaching, say, I. I know him. We've had history.

[Erica]

Hey.

[Mila]

Real quick.

[AJ Holiday]

I know men don't even think about you until they see you with whoever you now. So you, you know, so let me go ahead and tell on myself before this, you know, tells as if we had sex yesterday and you ain't seen his since I was 18.

[Tam Bam]

My whole facts. My whole facts deletes at 11:59.59 on December 31st of every year. Like, so vanishes.

[Mila]

And to be honest, if you wore a condom, it doesn't count, period.

[AJ Holiday]

And if I didn't comment on count, what are we talking about?

[Mila]

There's a barrier there. So, no, it didn't work.

[AJ Holiday]

So I may.

[Erica]

I may or may not even say if the nigga's walking towards you, to be honest, because it's not your business. It's before you. Why?

[AJ Holiday]

What?

[Erica]

For what? You know what I mean? Unless y' all can be. Unless I find out y' all are homeboys, cousins, maybe. And, like, maybe I'll give you the courtesy of afterwards. I'm not. I'm probably not going to do it in the real time because that's awkward and uncomfortable. I don't know. Like, I've. I've Actually done that before and it has back backfired on me because always say they want this and then they can't handle it when it actually happens. So, like, their track record of needing to know is very low and poor. And their track record of actually being honest about what they've done is also very low and poor. So why the. Am I going to tell you my like, no, thank you.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly.

[Erica]

I'm good.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And then everybody becomes their cousin or friend once they know you. Them. That's my homeboy.

[Mila]

You don't like.

[Erica]

Let me see her.

[Mila]

Let me see your phone. Phone number. You lying like a.

[AJ Holiday]

You ain't talked to this in 10 years.

[Mila]

I have.

[Erica]

I also, like, one time I did tell this guy this, and he went and called him, and they weren't even close like that. And so he went and called him out of respect.

[Mila]

Oh, my God, I forgot about this. That was so whack.

[Erica]

He. He went and called him out of respect. He really wasn't out of respect. It was on some, like, ego. Ego and so.

[Tam Bam]

Sure.

[Erica]

Yeah. And this, like, they're not even really that.

[AJ Holiday]

Or the other person.

[Tam Bam]

Person called the other. Called the current.

[Erica]

The current called the former. The former was out there minding.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah, that's even weirder.

[Erica]

And.

[Mila]

And me.

[Erica]

And. And the former. We had only slept together one time. It was a one and done situation. We. We tried it. It wasn't. There wasn't a vibe. We continued being friends. And he called him and the guy was thrown off. He. He called me, like, why is this nigga calling me to tell me this shit? Like, I don't. Like, this is weird. And I was like, I don't know. It was like it was for his own ego. Like, he wanted him to know. And then.

[Mila]

And then.

[Erica]

And then ended up using that against me, then ended up shooting using that against me later. Like, so it's just like, I'd rather not. Ladies, just shut the up now.

[Tam Bam]

Did y' all see this? Steph Curry's wife, Aisha, is facing backlash for saying that she never wanted kids and she had her own career goals and her husband doesn't understand. So have y' all been seeing all the backlash she's been receiving about that?

[Erica]

Of course not true.

[AJ Holiday]

That whole headline isn't true. Of course I've seen it. I actually watched the full episode and she did not say anything wrong. She praised the fuck out of her husband. You know what I'm saying? What woman who got married at 21 and got pregnant within the same year of being Married, a child, basically.

[Mila]

Right, right.

[AJ Holiday]

Why would she not be reflecting at this age, in her 30s now, you know, the shoulda, coulda, woulda. Because she was acting and stuff like that from a little girl. So, yeah, of course she's going to be.

[Tam Bam]

She's.

[AJ Holiday]

She was just reflecting. You know, they be cutting and pasting for the. For Instagram. I don't know why people hate her so much.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Do you see that? People hate her a lot.

[Erica]

No, they really hate her. They hate. Because that's. That wasn't the first comment that they hate women. Well, there's that, too. Yes. But they specifically really hate her a lot.

[Mila]

I. I feel like she's, like, the most. Like, she's like a homemaking present. She has a cooking line. Like, when I think of the men on the Internet who hate women, like, they might hate us or, like, someone who's, like, more provocative outwardly, because she probably is, like, a little secret freak, because, dad, she's been married all this time. But I feel like I'm very shocked by people hating her. Like, what is there to hate? She seems very wholesome. I never wear any sea or wearing anything that's gonna make everybody. Like, I never see anything so triggering.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Erica]

Like I said, it's because people. The men are obsessed with Steph Curry, and they will idolize him and. And have decided what is suitable for him.

[Mila]

They want to suck his dick themselves as a wife.

[Erica]

And Aisha Curry has. Aisha Curry. Although. Yes, she has. Has. Yes. Although she has followed, I guess, the traditional wife role for a while. I think, like, now she's kind of starting to step out on her own. She has her own, like, I guess, like a makeup line or lip gloss line. And she's done her own. Like, they just. They want her to fit into a specific box where she doesn't mention him at all and doesn't say anything unbecoming around him or just being a wife in general. And I think it's just unfortunate, like, because so many. And what I've seen, and it's not even just men. I've seen a lot of women coming for her. Even me and Mila went to dinner the other day. We were sitting with a girl, and, like, we started talking about this, and she. I could see the, like, the, like, disgust in her.

[Mila]

Yeah.

[Erica]

And I was like, where is this coming?

[AJ Holiday]

I think the women think that, girl, your husband is.

[Erica]

Be grateful.

[AJ Holiday]

Whatever. You don't exactly be grateful. Shut up and look pretty. This is.

[Erica]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

This is the attitude women have for her.

[Erica]

But Those same women, if they were in the same position, would have feelings about it too. I don't give a. No matter how much money you got, you're still human. You have needs, you have desires, you have wishes, you have goals that maybe haven't been fully, you know, realized. Especially when you're living in the shadow of, of a famous person. You know, your whole identity starts being attached. Then you can't even be your own woman, your own person, everyone. You're Steph Curry's wife. Steph Curry's wife. It's just like when you go meet, like, even got to be famous. Have you ever been out with like, like your man and like none of his homeboys ever, like, even talk to you. Like, they just, they just like, like you'll go down the line of like shaking someone's hand and they just like skip you out of respect. Like, this whole idea around, like being respectful and act and ignoring the woman is like so old. It's some, it's really some black people. And I hate to say that about it.

[Mila]

I don't think it's black people. I think.

[Erica]

I don't see white men do that. I don't see why. I don't see white men do that.

[Mila]

We don't be hanging around them. We don't know they're, they're.

[Erica]

I've been around the white men's. They don't be ignoring the wives and like that. I see that a lot in our culture. A lot.

[Mila]

I never even considered if it was a black people thing, but maybe.

[Erica]

I mean, I'm sure it happens on both sides, but I say it's prevalent in our, in our spaces.

[Mila]

Is it like an insecurity thing? Like, or just like it? Like. Yeah, I don't know.

[Erica]

Yeah, but, but, but, but you don't.

[Mila]

Want people to respect me, like, as a whole person. Like, I think generally we've learned in like the era of social media is that society, particularly men, don't respect whole women. They want you to be like an avatar of who they think you're supposed to be. Not so much conservative, not have a history. Like you want to, you want to AI girlfriend. Like you don't want a real human or else you wouldn't even have these type of conversations.

[AJ Holiday]

But they do though, because they, they call the girl with the depth and that's what they cheating with. Right. While they got old girl at the house who shut the up and they.

[Mila]

Cheat and then they tell her all your business and. Right. Pillow talk. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And get advice.

[Erica]

Well, well, Good news to them. I don't know if you saw this today in the news. Not to interrupt to your news but Chachi BT is going to now have erotic inter for age verified adults on their app. So yeah, just go get you a virtual and she'll be very agreeable.

[Mila]

Can she suck your dick? Like what are you talking about?

[Tam Bam]

Phone sex?

[Erica]

Probably because ChatGPT can generate images so.

[AJ Holiday]

Sure they're gonna really start charging for that. It's like Chat GPT is probably going to have like a only fans tier.

[Erica]

Of course they're trying to monopolize every every space but anyway, long story short, go get you a build a if that's what you need because I don't know, I just feel like women they. People just want women to be quiet and just. I don't know where else they're supposed to share. I appreciate someone with her platform being that honest. I think a lot of women and married people like want that and need that.

[Tam Bam]

Absolutely.

[Erica]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know what just happened to Tam, but go ahead, keep going.

[Mila]

She'll probably come back. Maybe. Yeah. I think it's really important. I think it's really important that we as women, especially women in our industry as we talk and we talk shit and sometimes I know like we probably get backlash and are trying to listen to every episode so they can calculate what we did last weekend. Not anybody here or nothing.

[AJ Holiday]

Liar. I tell all the things.

[Mila]

No, I know. I'm just with you. I. I just think, I think that there is. It's really important that women start to like stop being pick me and start living in their entire like their entirety because then men can. Men will. Can just be asexual and be together and leave us the alone. If every. And there's not like women who are pretending to be half people and pretending that they slept with three guys at 30 because they're lying like a. And like because you want a man so badly. But the more that we like be human and talk about it then men can stop like loving this fantasy like false sense of what they thought we were because that's just not real.

[Tam Bam]

Amen.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah man. And it's not all men, but it's a lot of a large majority of them.

[Erica]

And it's unfortunate because like the women, women, women co signing what they say just perpetuates this whole thing. Like there's no patriarchy unless women are upholding it. And unfortunately that's, that's what happens. So it's like women are literally the problem too.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's Talk about that for one second. Y' all really think we in a patriarchy?

[Mila]

Hell, yeah.

[Erica]

Don't. Girl, you better stop it. Hold on.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm gonna tell you why I say that, right? Because I always say how being submissive, that is definitely an ultimate form of manipulation. Because your bitches in the bedroom telling you what to do, and you go out there in front of everybody like it was your decision. There's always women behind the scenes, from the mothers to the grandmothers to everybody who are actually running things. And I think white women in particular, right, the shit that their men do, they benefit off of it 100%, and they are raising them. Him, right? So I. I just. I just feel like the matriarchy. And do y' all even think we would be okay in a. In a society actually just straight matriarchy?

[Mila]

Absolutely crazy. No, absolutely. I think we'd be frolicking, picking berries, naked. That'd be. Everybody would have equal everything because we be birthing each other's babies, and we'd go outside to. And come back in the gates and lock the doors, because that's where violence and conflict happen. When the come in, we out there, we come back. But it would be great.

[AJ Holiday]

You're not gonna act like that. Like, list divine feminine. Feminine is very, very dark.

[Mila]

Oh, it can. It can be okay. But chaos. I think it gets darker when we don't have. When we don't have healthy outlets to be dark. I think it's when you don't have a man or, like, a safe space that says, oh, I under. I see the entirety of you. I see both sides embrace that. We're so busy trying to be fucking pick me's for a nigga like Cam Newton that we're, like, suppressing and suppressing, and then we get catty with each other, like, that's my nigga, or whatever it is. And then, like, it creates. It creates this imbalance. We're not. We don't really know what we are because we haven't been fully expressed. And so when you. When you suppress anything, just like a gay who's acting straight, you suppress it. He becomes crazy. He becomes violent because he's not being himself. I think that is what creates these, like, this deep imbalance. But wait, aj, do you think that if we. You think. Do you think that women are better, like, showing up in this way that men can. No palatable.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't get it fucked up. Women are the gods on the planet, and this is why these niggas mad.

[Mila]

But we got to confuse them to make them think they're in control.

[Erica]

I think that, like.

[AJ Holiday]

Go ahead, Erica.

[Erica]

Oh, sorry, Go ahead. No, no, please go ahead.

[AJ Holiday]

I want to hear what you want to say.

[Erica]

I was just going to say, I think that even in a matriarchal society, and even in like. Okay, we'll start with the matriarchal society. I think that even in a matriarchal society, a true matriarchal society understands the balance, like Mila said, of like, the need for the masculine to be there. It's not about necessarily, like, everything is woman. That's it.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Erica]

You know what I mean? And I think even the divine feminine, like, to be divine is to be like to be one with God. And if you're one with God, then you also see the divine and the masculine. And I think this whole, like, idea of like divine femininity is, is great. It's beautiful. And I, and I, and I, I reflect it and I, and I, I receive it. But I also think my journey in understanding the divinity of the femininity is also seeing the divinity in men. And I think, think it's been like, there's like always this like, agenda to separate us because there are a lot of men that are not in their divinity, of course, but then there are a lot that. There are some that are, you know, there are some that are willing and open and want to listen to their women. And ultimately what makes a woman, what makes, I think, the divine be able to be divine as far as it goes with femininity, is being able to really rest in your femininity, which requires the masculine to be present. And so I don't think that, like, it's one or the other. I think that there has to be both, you know, and I, I do think that we are in a patriarchal society. We're seeing it, especially here in America, we're seeing how, how when it goes so far, how up it can get. Like our country is on fire. Not quite yet. Not like literally yet, but it's like, I feel like we're heading towards that, unfortunately. And it's because there's a lot of imbalance and of un white men making a lot of decisions for women. And women are not being heard. And men, and even black men. I was just listening to what's his name, Stephen that on espn.

[AJ Holiday]

Stephen A. Smith.

[Erica]

Oh my God, someone take him off the air. Lord, please, God, fire his ass already. They were talking about him running for a politics.

[Mila]

I was like, oh, please.

[Erica]

Oh yes, he's thinking about running, getting into politics.

[Mila]

And I'm like, dumb ass haircut, get out of here, child.

[AJ Holiday]

And them errors just like.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, the fact that we have pink tax on items for women is proof that we live in a patriarchal society.

[Mila]

What kind of tax?

[Tam Bam]

Pink tax. Like, so things that are pink of a female's bike is more than a male's bike.

[Mila]

A pink bike and we're making less money.

[Tam Bam]

We're razor. It'll be the same razor, same package. If it's pink, it costs a few cents more. We did a whole episode on it on that. Like things that are for women are more expensive.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. That's why it should be inflation on this if you want.

[Mila]

It got to be inflation on the.

[AJ Holiday]

Baby a lot to be a woman. It just cost a lot. So y' all gotta pay the usage tax.

[Mila]

I think for us to become like, back in balance, like deeply imbalanced. Like, there has to be like a deep. Like we have to come all the way back and also wake the up. Like, I feel like women are resurrecting right now. Like there's a resurrection of like the wild and free woman. So we're waking up. But I think that because men have had this power trip, this like toxic. This toxic masculinity for so long, it's violent. Like, I think we have to completely, in some ways pull back because it's like we see it. It's violent. Like they don't give a about us because they've lived in this. This, this facade for so long. So I just think like, for. In order to find balance again. Because of course there are good, divine, masculine men. Of course they exist or else we'd all be single. But, you know, we have uncles and fathers and things like that. But it's like there has to be like we have to starve these new that with this brain set. Like, no, no food. Like just go away, die off and don't procreate. Definitely don't put your semen in anybody with those stupid thoughts.

[Erica]

Thoughts.

[Mila]

So, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

But the will never ever be on the same page because it's always going to be somebody's couch this can go to.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. What do we do about the women? Because it starts and ends with us.

[Mila]

You go with them too.

[Erica]

There might be a few. There might be some women. Some women got to die off too. They got. Some women got to go.

[AJ Holiday]

You ain't gonna make it off with your head.

[Mila]

You chose the wrong one.

[AJ Holiday]

Before we get off stupid Internet news because we've been here For a long time. Have y' all seen the headlines about. So we eaty. Saweetie, former friends. Saweetie, her former friend Maybach May. I don't know if May is short for madame, but she's basically saying that Sweetie owes her some money because she put her down with this European soccer player. And, like, how I owe you for brokering my coochie, basically.

[Erica]

So she said. All I know is I love Saweetie. I want to be clear. I love her, too.

[Tam Bam]

I'm a fan, too, okay?

[Erica]

And Maybach, whatever the Your name is, you should have got. You should have collected your coins ahead of time. Honey, I don't know what to tell you. You're doing bad business there because they.

[Mila]

Put you with a baller. They are owed. No, we was hanging out, and I got the baller, and you better shut the up. That's it. Unless we had pre. Unless we had a contract. And if you don't have an agreement, shut the upper.

[Erica]

Now get your coins before.

[AJ Holiday]

Come on.

[Erica]

Are you. Are you a madam or not?

[Mila]

Beyonce's Internet bashing me.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, and honestly, how does this even become a headline? Because how much I owe you?

[Erica]

How much?

[Mila]

Right, for my.

[Tam Bam]

Exactly.

[Erica]

Like, how did. How do we. How are we. Like, yeah, how are we coming to a final, like, cost of goods and services?

[Tam Bam]

Like, well, she's supposed to be coming out with receipts, so.

[Erica]

Girl, come out with them. I still love Saweetie.

[Mila]

She got invoices on sweetie coochie. Like, December 11, 2025. Saweetie, this baller in Africa at 7:10.

[Erica]

I'm doing rich, pretty big 10.

[Mila]

Like, girl, leave that girl and her coochie alone. Everybody sells some pussy one way or another, okay? And they didn't owe you.

[Tam Bam]

All right, y', all, we got. We got a topic today. The Judgment Olympics for moms and single ladies. After this commercial, we're going to get into it. We'll be right back.

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[Mila]

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[Erica]

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[Mila]

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[Tam Bam]

All right y', all, we're back and it's the Judgment Olympics.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know why I always laugh at that.

[Tam Bam]

What? Because we don't really go no fucking where, right?

[Erica]

I'm like, do I need to do that?

[Mila]

Yeah. I was thinking that yesterday we didn't do that.

[Erica]

Because the way they be Interrupting our conversation with ads abruptly, I'm like, okay, maybe we really need to be more. More diligent here.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah, add it in there. That way they don't break your up because they will break it up. They listen. You might add it in there and your still get broken up.

[Erica]

I know, girl, I know.

[Tam Bam]

All right, so, aj, you came up with this. What's up with the judgement?

[AJ Holiday]

All right, so today we're competing in the Judgment Olympics 2025 edition. Because whether you're a single woman or a mom with kids, society loves to hand out unsolicited medals and criticism. Okay, so today's contestants, the co host of Good Moms, Bad Choices and us, We Talk Back podcasts. I'm gonna start using, like, the. The things on this app anyway, but.

[Tam Bam]

We can add it in later. No worries.

[AJ Holiday]

Right, so for the warm up, let's talk about, like, some of the common stereotypes as single moms that you guys hear a lot where moms that are single or y' all are in relationships now, right? But moms that are single, that we.

[Mila]

Have baggage and we're like, unwanted ran through.

[Erica]

We're still our baby daddies, and we're.

[Mila]

Not to be married. No one wants. No one wants to father somebody else's kids.

[Erica]

We're unavailable. We're unavailable. They were not sexy, even though we had to be.

[Mila]

That we should. That we shouldn't be dating and that we shouldn't be sexy. That we should wear, like, certain conservative clothes.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, you're a mom now. Yeah, your mom now.

[Mila]

Why are you wearing that? Why you out? Where's your kid? That's my worst. You were at the party at midnight, and he's like, where's. Where's so and so in the bed. Where do you think she's at with her. With her daddy? Like, what?

[AJ Holiday]

Right? Daddy don't ever have to have the damn kids. Do they even get. Do they even get asked that question?

[Mila]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

Where's the kids?

[Mila]

No father ever.

[Tam Bam]

I hate when be like, I got a babysit. Nigga, that's your kid. You not babysitting that child. You not baby. That's your child. You don't babysit your own kid.

[Mila]

You're being a father.

[Tam Bam]

You are being a parent. So that's annoying. All right, what about, all right, A.J. me and you, child free.

[AJ Holiday]

Selfish.

[Tam Bam]

Your clock is ticking, okay? Your clock ticking.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, no. This is the one I hate. And this is from, like, the friends who have kids and family who have kids. Just because I don't have kids. That does not Mean, I don't got to do okay? So I'm not sitting home twiddling my thumb waiting for your ass to hit me up to do something for you and your kids. And that's the one thing I really can't stand because I'm just as busy even though I don't have kids.

[Tam Bam]

Are you gonna die alone and wouldn't.

[AJ Holiday]

Give a. I got.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, you ain't got a kid yet your must not be good.

[AJ Holiday]

I've had an abortion. This is good. If you ain't never had an abortion, that is whack.

[Mila]

Shut up, A.J. okay, everybody's pulling out on you, but.

[Erica]

Unpopular opinion, trigger warning, sexy warning.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know what's another one. You're lonely.

[AJ Holiday]

People with no kids just got all this extra money. Like my nieces and nephews hit me up so much for money. Like it's just me paying all my bills. Like your parents are together. I don't have extra money.

[Tam Bam]

It's not a dual income household.

[Mila]

Or. You're crazy. Oh, she never. She ain't been married. She ain't got no kids. She probably crazy.

[Erica]

Crazy.

[Mila]

She probably crazy.

[Tam Bam]

What's wrong with you? Yeah, what's wrong with you? I don't like when people say, why don't you have any kids? That's such a rude question.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like my, my ex fiance, he had two kids at the time. I've heard that he has since had two other. I didn't even tell you about that, Tammy, because how the. My mama know that and I don't. Anyway, my mom still talks to my ex fiance and she doesn't see a problem with that. Do you realize, like, he probably thinks he was right in a relationship because he still has access to you. You're an extension of me. But anyway, I would always like, I don't have to be a mom to be a parent. I think a lot of times people think that women with no kids can't parent. Okay? I'm a mother at heart, so I don't have to have kids to be a parent. So this was being like an ongoing argument in that relationship because just because you have kids, that that does not automatically mean you're a good parent. A lot of times, the longer you wait to have kids, you see things like, I might have a little bit extra information gathered from everywhere watching everybody else parent. You know, I know what I want to do as a parent and what I wouldn't do. I don't know. I think the longer you wait, you get more information.

[Tam Bam]

But ain't Nothing like the real deal, though.

[AJ Holiday]

No, absolutely. Listen, I'm not trying to discredit parents at all. I'm just saying, do you get offended.

[Erica]

When you said you get offended when people say, why don't you have any kids? You get offended when they ask you, when are you having kids? Is it the same thing?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, both of those is like, if I knew, I get. I tell you, right? I don't know when I'm having kids. How the am I going to answer that question for you tomorrow? I don't know.

[Erica]

Or do you want kids? Is that also like. Like, you get offended when someone says.

[Tam Bam]

You'Re not offended by it? Do you want kids? You know, that's not offensive. It's just, why don't you have kids? Because I can say some that'll make us both uncomfortable right now.

[AJ Holiday]

I do it, and sometimes I do pregnancies. I go ahead and make everybody uncomfortable if, God willing, I have one. I've had two tubal pregnancies. And they're like, oh, yeah, because you should not be asking women, I believe, over 30 why they don't have kids.

[Mila]

Wait, is that true? Or you just do that to make them feel uncomfortable?

[AJ Holiday]

That's true. It's true. Yeah. So you should not ask women of a certain age why they don't have kids if they want kids. Just mind your business is how I feel.

[Mila]

I agree.

[Erica]

Wrong.

[Mila]

I agree.

[Tam Bam]

I agree. All right, so let's talk about why people judge so hard, though. All right. Oh, we just talked about it. The patriarchal expectations of motherhood. Do y' all feel like y' all need to fit into the mold? Well, no. Y' all know y' all don't feel.

[Erica]

Like, girl, we bad good. Mom's bad choices.

[Mila]

Our entire podcast is about, I think we did it.

[Erica]

We've done everything except do that hard.

[AJ Holiday]

The mold.

[Erica]

We have leaned very hard, swung hard to the other side.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, all right. But. But when you were, like, new mothers, did you have, like, did people's judgments affect your confidence and you're dating your friendships? Like, like, were you affected by that? As very young mothers, I think I.

[Mila]

Noticed when people were being judgmental, like, especially when I broke up with my child's father and I was going out and I was outside, I could see even some of my friends who hadn't had kids yet were like, oh, you're out. You're out a lot, or whatever their comments were. But I've always been pretty, like, clear about the balance in, like, having a life. Like, mom, I gotta have A life, too, because my parents were kind of like that. But I think people are very judgmental about that, especially women. Against women is because they are. When you see someone that is exuding and existing in a way that you think that you can't, you're going to project, and you're going to feel away about it, because you're over there knitting sweaters and baking cakes hoe. And you wish you were getting your black back blown out. And you know, daddy was doing something, but he's watching football and ignoring the out of you and that kid. Yeah, you're going to feel away. One time I went to. I went to a party with this guy. It was like a small dinner party. It was like some white people, and they were like, I was talking about my daughter, and I was like, no, me and her dad broke up. And like, oh, my God. Oh, God, I'm so sorry. Like, oh, God, that seems so hard. That's, like, so hard. I was like, no, actually not. Nothing to be sorry about. I'm doing great, actually. This is God's plan for my life.

[AJ Holiday]

Right?

[Mila]

I get the best of both worlds. So. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Mila]

I mean.

[Erica]

Yeah. I mean, I think me and Mila have had different journeys as early as moms, early on, because I definitely felt myself when I got pregnant starting to kind of fall into society's expectations around what motherhood was supposed to look like. And that wasn't just from society. That was also my. My family. And so prior to having my daughter, I was like, just, I'm a free spirit. I smoke a lot of weed. I moved how I wanted to move. I was probably financially irresponsible because I didn't have anything to worry about except myself. And when I became a parent, like, it was like, oh, well, Erica, you know, you can't do that no more. You can't do that no more. You can't do that anymore. And I. I almost fell into that trap. And I think that's one of the things that me and Mila share a lot on our. On our show is, like, that was the beginning of good mom's bad choices was me meeting Mila and her mirroring the things that I wasn't allowing myself to experience and realizing that, like, I was heading on down a path of imprisonment. And. And it's. And it's interesting because, like, the person that I was with, my child's father, he's not, like a traditional man. Like, he's outside, you know? Like, I wasn't, like, about to wrap up my life with Like a, like a, a God fearing in the house. Like, like he spent like half my pregnancy at the strip club, you know what I'm saying? So that even tells you even more. And he wasn't even. That was not his expectation of me either, you know, so it was really like the programming, really, it's so deeply ingrained in women from such a young age with us, like, caring for babies and playing house and, you know, like these roles really being shoved down our throats and society doesn't help. And so I, you know, I'm grateful for my friendship with Jameela because it reawakened what was already inside of me, like what I had already been. I was already that girl. It was just that when I became, when I went into motherhood, I felt like I had to. That girl had to die. And granted, when your mom like you do, you rebirth into something else. But like, the old parts of you are still there and in fact, like, they deserve to be watered and your child deserves to see you show up as a whole human and like, understand who their parent is because. And ultimately that gonna pop out or she's just gonna literally die and be depressed. And I think we see a lot of maybe our parents, we see like, what that does to them. We see like these shells of these women and like, we have like, oh, your. Your mom used to be that girl. I'm like, what the happened? I don't know that girl, you know, and it's like, it almost feels like a fable, like a, like a story time where it's like, is that real? Like, my mom was that. And unfortunately, I think a lot of women fall into that trap when they don't have to. So if you're listening to this and you're a mom, you're falling into that trap. Just come over to Good moms. Let's start episode one. Take the journey with us. Because when I started episode one, like, I was just kind of like coming out of it. And I think it's really important for mothers to, to really evaluate themselves and give themselves the time and space to really evaluate who they are now and how they. And what parts of the former. And I say that with air quotes of you that you want to bring into this space because it's important to not just let that person go all the way, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Because that's what Asia Curry is essentially experiencing, right?

[Mila]

She.

[AJ Holiday]

She has FOMO a little bit. You know, she might have felt like she missed out on some things or I mean, she has the, the means and the Resources to do whatever it is that she wants, but it's something there because she never got to discover. Exactly was before having to take care of somebody else. And it's for women who have kids, who don't have kids. It's not selfish not to want to be responsible for somebody else for the.

[Erica]

Rest of your life.

[Mila]

It's crazy.

[Erica]

It's a crazy responsibility. Not every person needs to be a parent. A lot of parents don't even need to be parents, you know?

[Tam Bam]

Right. Did y' all ever feel like your relationships with your friends shifted once you became moms?

[Erica]

Yes, absolutely. I had. I was outside. I was the outside girl. I had friends that just stopped calling me, you know, they didn't really. I remember specifically I had a situation. One of my best friends at the time. I was so excited to tell her I was pregnant. I. I was living in New York when I found out I was pregnant. So I came back to la and I sat down with her and my other friend, and I was like, I have something to tell you guys. And before I could even tell her, she was like, you're pregnant?

[Tam Bam]

It.

[Erica]

And I was like, yeah, I am. And she's like, I know. And then just, like. Just, like, didn't want to know anything else. Like, I was shocked. I was like, what the. Like. And then after that, I, like, barely ever heard from her again. It was the weirdest thing. And so I don't. I still don't really know what that was. It was like. Maybe it was like she was mad that she was gonna have to share me. She felt like we couldn't relate anymore. She was jealous. I mean, I don't really like to go straight to jealousy with women, because I think that's what we do a lot, but I just don't. I don't know what that was. And I'm sure that maybe there's other women that maybe relate to it. But I know for me, like, motherhood really showed me who my friends were, and they. And it continues to. It shows me, even, like, with partners, like, what. Who is really open, really down for me, and who isn't.

[Tam Bam]

What about you, Mila?

[Mila]

I would say that that didn't really happen to me. I had. I was the first person in my friend group to have a kid, and I do feel like everybody really rallied around me and was like, my baby daddy. So I had, like, a lot of baby daddies, and, like, because we. There was no other kids, it was kind of like a fun group project. Look, we have a baby, you know, it's kind of fun that way. But I think there were some things that, like, people didn't understand. Like, there was a time where I was like, about my baby daddy, like, this is not gonna work. I can't stand him. Or, like. Or I would talk shit about him because it was time for me to leave. And then they would be like, why don't you leave? Why don't you leave? Why don't you leave? And I'm like, you don't understand. I had this. I'm trying. Like, you're not black.

[Erica]

You don't understand.

[Mila]

I don't want to be a baby mama. Making a lot of excuses for what that meant to me, because I think for as a black woman, being with my child's father was, like, there was a stereotype I was trying to break. I didn't want to fall into that to the point where I'd be, like, at museums or at Disneyland, like, with my family, like, miserable inside. But look, that's the dad, that's the mom, and that's the kid. Okay? Black families stay together, right? So I think that I had something to prove in that way, but it was not in the sense that, like, my party friends fell off.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I think anytime one of my old ass friends have a baby, I'd be like, girl, your time is coming up. I'm so happy when the old have a baby. Okay.

[Mila]

I'm gonna be lucky old having a baby.

[Tam Bam]

So you want another kid? Do y' all want mother more kids?

[Mila]

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna.

[Erica]

I do. But I have a timeline in which I would. In which I would want that to happen. And if it doesn't, then I'm cool.

[Tam Bam]

And, aj, I know you. You trying to have a baby every weekend.

[Erica]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I was very sad this weekend because my period came on. Okay.

[Mila]

Oh, so you're. You're. You're like, actively. If. If it happens, it happens.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So two weeks ago, I intentionally was trying to get. Trying to get pregnant two weeks ago.

[Erica]

Are you. Are you. You're picking them? You're picking them? Well, right? Like, you're. You're making sure that they're, like, genetically they're okay as well.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And I'm also. I was also trying to have. Have a Gemini. So now I know.

[Erica]

Let me tell you. I have a Gemini baby. Daddy don't recommend.

[Mila]

No. She was a Gemini baby, the baby.

[AJ Holiday]

So I missed my conception window for the Gemini baby because I'm a Gemini. My mom is a Gemini. My grandmother was a Gemini.

[Mila]

Oh, you're Trying to keep it going. Okay.

[Erica]

I see it's a legacy, so.

[Mila]

Yeah, a Gemini legacy.

[AJ Holiday]

So my legacy is up because now, like, at this point, I'll be trying to get pregnant next year. I'm gonna be 43, trying to have a baby.

[Mila]

Babe, just forget about the Gemini timeline. We don't need any more Geminis in the world. We just. Just keep.

[AJ Holiday]

I could do Virgo or Libra, and that's it.

[Mila]

I can't do. No. I can't do no Virgo child. That wouldn't work for me.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm Virgo rising. I could do it.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Mila]

I would get on their nerves.

[Tam Bam]

I still want to. Like, my desire to be a mother is starting to dwindle a little bit as I get older. I just feel like my window is closing on me. But I'm just terrified still to be pregnant again. Let me say that again.

[Mila]

Pregnant or birth? Are you terrified about the actual birth?

[Tam Bam]

The whole process. The whole process just makes me scared. Like, I wish I could skip that part and just have my AI Baby.

[Mila]

Are doing it every day. Are surrogating. Surrogate, whatever. Their lives away. So it's not.

[Erica]

Not.

[Mila]

Not an option.

[Tam Bam]

Not impossible. Right. But then I don't also. I also, at the same time, don't want somebody else carrying when you put. Yeah. Because there has. Even though they say, oh, it's your. Your DNA, there has to be some of this other DNA in my baby. Yeah.

[Erica]

I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

There's no way.

[Mila]

The science. I know. The real.

[Erica]

Yeah, I know.

[Tam Bam]

And then his, too. Like.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

I don't want. No.

[Erica]

That baby gonna be a little confused because.

[Tam Bam]

Right. No throuple baby.

[Mila]

Yeah. That's poly baby. Poly pregnancy. Right.

[Tam Bam]

So, y', all. We want to play again. Do you have any more questions? I want to play. Would you rather.

[AJ Holiday]

No. Go, go, go.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, so we're gonna play a game with y' all real quick. Would you rather. All right, so the first one is, would you rather have a man who worships you but has no ambition or a man who challenges you but triggers you all the time?

[Mila]

B.

[Erica]

Yeah, B. I guess.

[Mila]

You know what? I think that all. I don't know, real relationships are going to trigger you all the time. Like, it's. You're in a relationship. Most. Most closed relationships are going to trigger you, because that's the whole point of this game of life.

[Ad Read / Announcer]

Life.

[Mila]

It's like if you were alone and you locked yourself in your apartment, you're only around those two friends that don't trigger you. They know what to say and not to say. Then you're not growing. You're not going to evolve. It's like the triggering leads you to more. More depth of yourself. Why did it sugar me? Why am I feeling this way? And this is for a person who gets triggered very easily. And I'm triggered right now. And I'm annoyed and I don't even want to take my own advice, but that's the truth.

[Erica]

You know what? I think that if I was with a man who worshiped me but had no ambition, I would be triggered. Also. Also probably. I probably would rather just do B.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's see. Would you rather build him up or find him built but boring?

[Mila]

I can't do boring. I'll build him up. I'll get that wardrobe. We'll go to the mall, baby, we'll put on some jeans. Look, put on that hat. Yep. No, I'm not doing anything boring because you're gonna. I'm gonna cheat on you. It's. It's happened.

[Erica]

Same. I'd rather build you up. Come on, baby, let's build to bear you. Let's go. You know, a loves a project.

[Mila]

Love projects.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, here's a good one. Would you rather feel safe but unseen or seen but uncertain?

[Mila]

I don't like none of those options. No, wait.

[Erica]

Safe but unseen. Seen but uncertain. I would rather be seen. I would rather be seen and uncertain. Because then I'm gonna break up with you anyway. But at least while we're together, I'm doing. I'm. I feel seen, you know? Like, is it.

[Mila]

Like, is it. Is it Stevie Wonder? Like, what do you mean he can't. Like, if you see me, you're gonna see me. Ain't no not seeing this.

[AJ Holiday]

Or maybe he's not, like, inviting you out, stuff like that. You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

You just feel like you're there, but you're not not there.

[Mila]

You know, I don't like any of those options. Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

I actually saw this on Instagram. You know how those people be on the street asking questions?

[Mila]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Would you rather be a side chick to a star NBA player or married to a loyal, average salary man? B.

[Mila]

B, that A would be. You're a groupie. If you just answered A, you are a groupie. Okay?

[AJ Holiday]

You probably knew that already on the Instagram post. The guy then says, well, the guy only makes like 60,000 a year and the girl is like 60,000. Like, that is the average person's salary.

[Mila]

Is it?

[AJ Holiday]

What are we talking about places? Well, we. Are we on the south we in the South.

[Mila]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

That's a lot black people. What do you think the average income for a black man is?

[Mila]

Can you even live off of $60,000?

[Erica]

Yeah. In other places.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Y' all can. In LA for sure.

[Mila]

I was gonna say, like a hundred thousand dollars a year is the average.

[Erica]

That's not the average. Not even in LA?

[Tam Bam]

Not even close. No.

[Erica]

It's probably about 75 across the country.

[Tam Bam]

Probably like 50, honestly. Because think about it.

[Erica]

Because together we're going to combine our income so, you know, we'll be wet at 120 together, and we could get a cute little. Have a cute little lifestyle and wherever the that takes us. So this.

[AJ Holiday]

This is from 2023. And it says that average. This is for Black persons. It says 54, 000.

[Tam Bam]

That's why I said about 50, 000 is the average. You got to think about these small towns and these small places where it's more of that than everything else else, you know?

[Mila]

Yeah, I forget that there's like, all those states in between.

[AJ Holiday]

This, y'.

[Mila]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Listen. Catch a man cheating with someone batter or someone basic in Crocs.

[Mila]

I wear Crocs today.

[Erica]

Wait, what was the first one?

[AJ Holiday]

Catch a man cheating with someone better than you. Like a better than you basic with Crocs on.

[Mila]

It's gonna have to be B. I can't handle. I can't handle A. I'm gonna be mad. I need to be able to talk to my friends. I didn't talk to my friends. And that was ugly.

[Tam Bam]

And she had a Crocs.

[Mila]

That's because I'm shallow.

[AJ Holiday]

I need the to be badder or comparable. I cannot stand a who doesn't have, like, standard. Yeah, you don't have no standards.

[Erica]

Like, I've literally never in my whole. I've never in my long life of being cheated on, ever, ever been cheated on with a better than me.

[Mila]

And it doesn't happen.

[AJ Holiday]

That's not cheating. Then. It's cheating when the batter.

[Erica]

It just doesn't happen. And I'm not even saying that because I'm like, I am pretty fine myself, but I'm just always astonished. I'm always like, what.

[Mila]

What if they're not better than you? They stepped out. It's not cheating.

[Tam Bam]

What if. What if, like, she's butt ugly? Like, this ugly.

[AJ Holiday]

I have seen some.

[Tam Bam]

Some.

[AJ Holiday]

Some up to where it'. Like, where I'm offended. Cause this. I'm offended.

[Erica]

Yes.

[Mila]

Like, she has one eye or one arm, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

I have only reached out to a One time in life about a. And it was because I could not believe this was this walrus. I could not believe it. Like, and I messaged the. On Instagram and she didn't respond. She read my message, didn't respond, and then she told him. I messaged her, Messaged her. I could not believe how this person.

[Erica]

Look, I just. I.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, I needed to hear it from her that he actually her.

[Erica]

I couldn't believe it.

[AJ Holiday]

I would prefer to see the bad.

[Erica]

Please, please.

[AJ Holiday]

Some bad. Because I can't understand when you on.

[Tam Bam]

No, I need her to be ugly, but not no wall. Now I'm offended. Like, don't be cute.

[Mila]

I mean, I don't even.

[Erica]

I don't know if I can even answer that question because that's never happened. Like, maybe I would be, like, so hurt if she was. I mean, I was hurt even when she was ugly. So, like, imagine she was fine. Like, maybe I would be super devastated. I don't know. I've never experienced it. Like, ugly bitches have hurt my feelings too. So I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[Mila]

The point is it's always going to hurt your feelings, but it's going to hurt more. It's going to hurt worse. Either way, if she's extremely not to your level, and also if she's way better than you, it's going to hurt both ways. You're going to be offended. Are you going to be like, what the. The right.

[Tam Bam]

Either way?

[Erica]

Because if she's bad, like, she got like, I don't know, is that gonna make me be like, damn, do I need to get my. Like, maybe my ass isn't big enough. Maybe I need to put a little something in there. Like, damn, she got bigger titties. I need bigger tit. Like, I. I don't even want to go down that route. So I'm actually grateful for that.

[Tam Bam]

They were uglier.

[Erica]

Thank you. I want to personally thank all my old hoes, all my. My baby daddy and. And everyone else from my past that with ugly. Thank you. Thank you so much for keeping my confidence high.

[Tam Bam]

Amen. All right. Would you rather have a man who moans louder than you or one who doesn't make a sound at all?

[Erica]

Louder, man.

[Mila]

Louder. Yeah, let me know. This is good, right?

[Erica]

Nothing worse than a silent, like, yeah.

[Mila]

Like, are you dead? Like, what's going on?

[Erica]

I love him. Like, growl in my ear. Howl like a wolf.

[Mila]

Yeah, do something, somebody. I. I posted something, reposted something yesterday that said if you're. If you're a woman who, like, likes Male moans. You're a hoe. I said guilty.

[Tam Bam]

Well, listen, sometimes, like, I. I was dating this guy, and I liked everything about him. He would have been a great husband, but I hated how he came. Like, I broke up with him because how he.

[Mila]

No, well, how did he do it, right?

[Tam Bam]

He sounded like a cartoon villain. He was like, Y'. All. That's how he came.

[Mila]

You should have got him like a. Like a.

[Erica]

Guided him on that.

[Mila]

The count. You should have made him a vampire for Halloween or something.

[Tam Bam]

Why did he come like that? He was like, I'm just so filled with joy.

[Mila]

And you left him?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I couldn't do that.

[Mila]

You got.

[Erica]

Now you got to go to theory.

[Mila]

Because he was joyful, scary.

[AJ Holiday]

I was a happy man.

[Erica]

Okay, What I don't like, though. What I don't like is a Too much of a talking ass during sex. Like, just shut the up. Like, not. Not, like, I don't need you to not moan, but, like, you're talking too much. I can't focus.

[Tam Bam]

What Too much, though?

[Erica]

Just, like, I had a guy trying to tell me what to say. Like, I get it. Like, sometimes that's cool, but, like, it was throughout the whole experience, and so I gave him a second chance, and he did it again, and I was like. Like, let me.

[Mila]

What was he telling you to say? What was he telling you to say?

[Erica]

Like, tell me how good this dick is. Tell me how good it is. Tell me. Tell me. Then he said, like, tell me how. How good my body looks. Looks. And I was like, whoa, this is. This has nothing to do with me. This has nothing to do with me. Talk to your therapist. I don't know what's happening here.

[Mila]

Not talk to your therapist. That might be. That might be Elaine. Like, sex therapist. That's gonna tell you, like, how good you look. It's gonna, like, therapize you while your dick is inside of her.

[Erica]

Well, that's a lot of sacrifice.

[Tam Bam]

It was crazy. Did you tell him? Did you like, oh, I did.

[Erica]

I did.

[AJ Holiday]

I did.

[Erica]

Because, like, he was inside of you. Like, what? Hey, at that point, I was just like, just don't stop. I'll say whatever you want, but, like, this is the last time.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you can talk me through it, but don't be asking for compliments. Was he a Pisces?

[Erica]

Probably low key. I need to go.

[Mila]

Look, I. I hate when people talk too much, and you're like, your ear is here. So you're like, huh? What?

[Erica]

Yeah, that's happened too, where they keep saying things they're mumbling, and I'm like.

[Mila]

I can't hear you. Stop talking to me. Like, I'm just. The hunt is taking me out of it. Like. Like, just. What? I can't read your lips.

[Erica]

I can't see you.

[Mila]

What the Are we talking about?

[AJ Holiday]

I'm sick of these, man.

[Erica]

Do what you came to do, right?

[Tam Bam]

All right. Oh, win the lottery, but lose your best friend or stay broke, but keep your tribe and broke as, like, broke forever.

[Mila]

Like, I don't like these questions. We're witches. This doesn't happen to us. This is not how we. Man. We don't manifest like this. This is not how this works.

[Erica]

Yeah, I don't want to be a lonely rich.

[Mila]

Yeah. Like, who am I gonna go home to the yacht with? Like, who's gonna be in the yacht? Who's gonna be in the pj?

[AJ Holiday]

So many people. I know exactly who the. I want to see lit. Having a good ass time. Okay. I gotta take all the people.

[Mila]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't like that one.

[Tam Bam]

That question. Okay. Because I can't. I can't think of one to choose.

[Erica]

Either, because we're just gonna have to be broke. Well, we'll have to figure it out, like, for a while, girls.

[Mila]

We just sell some. I'm gonna be broke. Why would I be broke? What. Does that make sense to anyone? Like, no, this is the last one.

[AJ Holiday]

Have a man who makes you laugh but never commits or one who commits but never compliments you. Y' all ever been with somebody who never complimented you?

[Mila]

I probably didn't even notice. For real?

[Tam Bam]

For real.

[Mila]

It's like, I'm used to that. Like, it's when someone compliments me where I'm like, oh, okay. Wow, that's a lot. Relax. It's like, I'm not good at, like. But now that I have that, I don't think I would be able to be with someone who, like, didn't notice little things or compliment me would bother me.

[Erica]

Laughing goes a long way with me. What was the. What was the. Makes me laugh. But what Won't commit.

[AJ Holiday]

Won't commit. He won't commit.

[Erica]

Oh, that was like my baby daddy. We did it for seven years, though. He made me laugh for a long time. That.

[Mila]

That laughing.

[Erica]

That laughing sustained me for some time.

[Mila]

You forgot about the other. It was so. From so many.

[Erica]

I was just like. Just keep. But the no compliment. I don't know. I'm in words. I'm a words of affirmation type of. I'm a. I'm a words of affirmation type of lover. Like, that's what I give, and it does feel nice to receive it. I have, like, my partner now is very much, like, affirms me a lot. And I appreciate that because I think. I think I've had it in the past, but maybe not to the extent that I get it now.

[Mila]

Facts. That's.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what I'm experiencing, too. I had an ex who would never, like, verbally compliment me. He would wait till I leave the house and, like, text me, like, you look. You looked good.

[Erica]

I'm like, what the.

[AJ Holiday]

Meanwhile, like, when he putting that on because I bought it. Like, I'm like, man, you look so good. Never. Never. What is that? I don't know.

[Erica]

Hater.

[Mila]

Stupid.

[AJ Holiday]

Hey, I think a lot of people be in relationships with men who.

[Erica]

Well, yeah, they're like, I don't want to get a big head. I want you to have a big head. Like, what. What are you talking about?

[Tam Bam]

I. I've had a guy who would be like, his compliments would be like, you think you cute? Like, it would always be like, some kind of.

[Mila]

Like, I've.

[Tam Bam]

No.

[Erica]

I feel undercutting.

[Mila]

I feel like that's black people. I feel like that's, like, black. Like, that's how my family talks to each other. Like, I feel like. Like it's true. Like, I know that it sounds strange, but I don't know. Like, I don't know where you think you going. Yeah, right. That for me, my pussy got wet, like, nowhere. I'm toxic.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all. So after this commercial break, we are gonna get some dumb bitch stories from good moms. Bad choices.

[Tam Bam]

Okay? So I can't wait.

[Ad Read / Announcer]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop. Voted PCMag's Reader's Choice. Top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere. And Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved. Forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting on your couch and winning from the comfort of your own home. I'm here with spinquest, where you can play hundreds of slot games, all the table games you love, and you could even win real cash Prizes. New users. 30 coin packs are on sale for [e-mail] SpinQuest is a free to play social casino for the where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. This is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? Business software is expensive and when you buy software from lots of different companies, it's not only expensive, it gets confusing. Slow to use, hard to integrate. Odoo solves that because all Odoo software is connected on a single affordable platform. Save money without missing out on the features you need. Odoo has no hidden costs and no limit on features or data. Odoo has over 60 apps available for any needs your business might have, all at no additional charge. Everything from websites to sales to inventory to accounting. All linked and talking to each other. Check out odoo@o-o o.com that's o d.

[Mila]

O o.com ready to change your life. For just $2 a day, Orangetheory Fitness.

[Erica]

Delivers one hour workouts that combine strength and cardio to help you burn fat, build muscle and feel unstoppable. Right now, get a full month of.

[Mila]

Unlimited classes for just $62.

[Erica]

Don't wait. This offer ends soon. Visit orangetheory.com or your local studio and start your transformation today. Offer ends January 31, 2026. New members only. Premier membership, performance monitor and monthly billing required. Discount applies to first month only. Other terms apply. C Studio for details this is Richard.

[AJ Holiday]

Sherman from the Richard Sherman Podcast. Ready or not is on sale now for the holidays. A breakout hit with over 13 million global players, ready or not is the tactical first person shooter where you take.

[Erica]

The role of a SWAT commander and.

[AJ Holiday]

Feel the weight of the badge. I reunited with my legion of Boom teammates Cam Chancellor, Cliff Averill, Mike Bennett and Walter Thurman to go through real SWAT training and experience firsthand what makes this game special. You can watch the full video now at the Richard Sherman Podcast YouTube channel.

[Tam Bam]

Here's what we discovered.

[AJ Holiday]

This isn't just mindless running gun like other shooters.

[Tam Bam]

Just like the Legion of Boom operated.

[AJ Holiday]

As an elite defensive unit where everyone.

[Tam Bam]

Had to think strategically and work together.

[AJ Holiday]

Ready or not demands the same mentality.

[Erica]

You're commanding a SWAT team, clearing rooms.

[AJ Holiday]

Protecting civilians, making split second tactical calls. With 18 high stakes missions, endless loadout customization, you need discipline and coordination to succeed. On sale now across PlayStation, Xbox and.

[Tam Bam]

PC with full cross play support.

[Erica]

Go solo or lead up to five.

[AJ Holiday]

Teammates through operations where strategy matters. Don't miss the holiday sale on PlayStation.

[Tam Bam]

5, Xbox Series X and S and PC.

[AJ Holiday]

After training with my brothers, I can tell you this game gets it right. And we're back.

[Erica]

All right y' All.

[AJ Holiday]

So we have dumb stories for the women and simp series for the men. Okay, so we need a dumb bitch story. This is just a time or a situation where you got played. And I don't know how y' all get down by the same or opposite sex. I don't know know.

[Tam Bam]

It could be either or.

[Erica]

I, I've, I've shared this story before on the pod, but this is a first for y'. All. So my dumb story started once upon a time, I was walking in on 14th Street. I just got off the train and there was this fine guy. He was, but he was out there. He was like, he's kind of short. Which I'm not really into the short kings too much. Like I have, I make a few exceptions. But he was out there selling. He was like selling like feed the children type packages like sponsor a child in Africa.

[AJ Holiday]

Was he really working for a non profit?

[Mila]

He was scheming.

[Erica]

I really did feed. I fed, I fed Zach for a good 365 days. Okay. So anyway, he brought he top, he took me to Starbucks, sold me on the package, got it. He was, was, he was really fine to me at the time. Told me that he was a model. And so I was like, oh my God, what model? And he had the pictures ready. It was like a Calvin Klein ad that he had done a Versace ad. But like all the pictures were kind of like from the side. And he was Dominican, so he, you know, he had a specific. He's like kind of. He was Dominican, but he kind of looked Puerto Rican. Whatever. Anyway, long story short, I saw these pictures. My friends had started do research because they didn't trust him. They're like, I don't think that's really him in the picture. And I was like, yes, it is, girl. Like, it is him. So anyway, we start, we're continuing to date long distance. He's in, in New York, I'm in la. I'm being a dumb and I have a really good job at the time. So I'm, I'm flying him out to la. He got no funds, but he had.

[Mila]

A big old dick.

[Erica]

Big old dick, Short kings. You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

That'll do it.

[AJ Holiday]

I listen, I'm the short advocate. I always say that, like they be little and big at the same time. Okay, not advocate.

[Erica]

Anyway, you know, he. Because we have, we're long distance. There's a level of trust that you have to have. And he was always telling me like he had his best friend, he had this best friend but she only had one arm, so she was handicapped. And he was like, you know, I'm hanging out with Andrea. And so he was like. He made it very.

[AJ Holiday]

He.

[Erica]

He was really adamant about, like, this is like my best friend from childhood. I never. And my stupid ass. I never asked for no pictures. This is before, like, social media, too. Like, we. Instagram wasn't really big, I think. I don't even think I had joined Instagram yet at this point. So I'm like, okay, yeah, sure. I mean, because I had male. I had male friends as well. And in the past, like, I had been in relationships where men had, like, really. Or boys, I would say, had really, like, had take. Taken issue with my male friendships. And so he wasn't. So I was not gonna ruffle no feathers because I was like, yeah, go ahead, have your friend. I have my friend. We're cool. Long story short, I get an email one day from a named Andrea talking about. Talking about. I heard. I found out that you are seeing my. My man. And I was like, who is your man? And she told me it was this. And I said, let me ask you a question. Do you have one arm?

[AJ Holiday]

That's all I want to know over there. Take my strong hand with her strong hand.

[Erica]

She said, what are you talking about? No. But then she said, do you have one arm? Because he had also told her that he had a friend in LA with one arm that he goes and visits is his best friend from back in the day. And I only got one, so. So then I was like, okay, that's crazy. But also, I have one final question. Is this. Is this him? Are these his pictures? Is he a model? No, this was not him in any of the pictures. So I was basically just dating a whole lie. Just not a model that I thought he was. I was really thinking, like, he was gonna make it out of the, like, the Child Africa scheme he was in, and he was going to be a top model. And also that he was just loyal to me and he was just so kind. He had this one armed bestie, and come to find out, we both were handicapped bitch. Okay, so that's my dumb bitch story. And that went on also. I was with him for a year. That was a year of my life, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[Mila]

And then he proposed with a little bit.

[Erica]

Oh, then he did. Oh, yeah, he did propose to me one day. One time when I flew him to la, we had sex on my friend's couch. And while he was inside of me, he pulled out the tiniest diamond ring I'VE ever seen. And I said yes. So that adds to the dumb bitchness.

[AJ Holiday]

Best dumb bitch story we have had.

[Tam Bam]

I feel like.

[Erica]

Girl, I still got the ring too. I never gave that back because it cost about probably $42.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, goodness. He was in love. I don't know if I could.

[Erica]

Every now and then I go check on him on his Instagram, see what he's up to. Still lying and scheming. Trying to be a singer, rapper or some. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

What's yours? I can't.

[Mila]

I want to. Did I do this? I've done some pretty dumb. I feel like Erica probably knows my dumb better than me because she's.

[Erica]

I can think of one in particular, actually. The dog.

[Mila]

I knew you're gonna say that. Okay, it wasn't that bad. But one time I really needed to get an apartment and my credit wasn't good, so I needed to scheme and seduce. So my homegirl was like, call this guy. He could hook you up. He's gonna do X, Y and Z. So I was like, okay, call the guy. Pay him his little 500. So I think I got the apartment. I think I had like some kind of Stockholm syndrome because I was like, oh my God, he got me this apartment. I was really struggling before. Like, thank God. So, like, he had a real deep voice and I was like, where are you from? Like, you know, try start a conversation with the doing the scheming. Because I'm stupid. I'm a cancer. I'm like, oh my God, we're gonna love each other. And then one day, he FaceTimed me. He had this big old smile, got freckles, kind of light skin. I was like, oh my God, he's kind of fine.

[AJ Holiday]

I was like, erica, Erica.

[Mila]

The man who helped me with the, with the stuff, he's fine. So I was like all giddy. I was like, you know, you said you want to come to la, like you should come out and visit me. Like, yeah. So he comes to la and then he gets out the car, he's like this big.

[Erica]

He's with a big old head and a little body. He looked like a big. You know how, like big got big heads? Like on the FaceTime, he looked like he could be around 6ft tall.

[Mila]

So then Erica's like, you can't him, like, if you all have a baby, it's gonna be too little. I was like, shut up. But to make matters worse, he came down. He did have a big ass dog. I let him and the dog come.

[AJ Holiday]

He brought a Dog with him.

[Mila]

Yeah. And on top of it, he was a Muslim, so he was one of those things. One time we had a conversation, he was like, yeah, you know, I don't know the. The word of the Muslims. Like, if my brother. If I go to my brother's house, my Eham or whatever the. They be calling each other, and his. His wife goes in the back room, I said, like, a dollar. Like, what are you talking about? In her house, if you come over, she goes in the back room so you don't have to speak. I said, oh. So then I had this complex, like, I'm. And he, like, really did love. Wh. So he would, like, talk, like, salaciously, but then also be talking this Muslim. And then I would, like, sit there and watch Farrakhan Farran Khan documentaries with him and be like, yeah, I understand.

[Tam Bam]

Yo.

[Mila]

And then I let him kind of move in, basically.

[Erica]

But wait, but why? What kind of sex were you having that he was, mind you, with?

[Mila]

Wait, what kind of sex are we having?

[Erica]

Oh, you don't remember?

[Tam Bam]

No.

[Erica]

You guys were having, like. You guys were role playing. Like, trigger warning.

[AJ Holiday]

No way.

[Mila]

Wait, hold up. Hold on now. I don't remember.

[Tam Bam]

Tell it.

[Erica]

We.

[Tam Bam]

There's gotta. You gotta.

[Mila]

She was.

[Erica]

Long story short, she was dickmatized. Okay? There was something going on sexually that had her dick traumatized.

[Mila]

Not trigger warning. Oh, my God. But then he was like, mind me. Like, he wasn't eating my. He was like, talking super salaciously, but then he's like, why isn't eating my. I'm like, my.

[Erica]

Like, you've been.

[Mila]

You've been around here for a long time. Like, I started to notice there's like a mind manipulation. He would talk salaciously, but then like, be like, oh, you're gonna wear that? And I'm like, you just told me you love hordes. I'm so confused. And, like, he would talk. He would use like those big jail words, like under circumstantial understanding of spirituality. And I was like, you're so smart. So anyway. Anyway, I let him move in. And he was bipolar and he was having manic episodes occasionally. And. And then I told all my friends that it was over and that he had moved out and I'm not talking to him anymore. And then one time I was on the phone with Erica and I was like, yeah, huh? And then all of a sudden the background was like. And she was like, bitch. And I was like. She was like, is that fucking man and that fucking dog over there? And I was like, huh?

[AJ Holiday]

I'll call you back.

[Erica]

And I was like, why the fuck.

[Mila]

Didn'T you shut the dog up, nigga, I told you.

[AJ Holiday]

Not a man. Not going to see a man with a whore is a man with a dog.

[Mila]

And then I continued the ridiculous relationship until one day he slapped me in my face. Face. And I was like, oh, God's really trying to try me right now. Like, are you a real dumb. And then, like, Erica was, like, just picking me up, and I got in the car, and she's like, what's wrong? And I was like, he slapped me in the face.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, he was conditioning you the whole time?

[Mila]

Oh, yeah. Like, hardcore. I was, like, totally unattached. And then it switched, and then I was acting nuts.

[Erica]

She was like a. Like, on crack. She was like a crackhead for this dick. Okay, crack status it, please.

[Tam Bam]

It was what the trigger warning was, I think.

[Mila]

Was it like. Was it like rape play? Is that what it was? Okay. I don't really remember that. I've blocked it out, but I. Yeah, I'm pretty. I like to. For someone to take it a little bit. So maybe he went all the way.

[Tam Bam]

I do like that a little bit.

[Mila]

Yeah, he's, like, stroking.

[Tam Bam]

We got to edit this whole part out.

[Mila]

This is a real.

[Tam Bam]

Have to cut this out.

[Mila]

I used to say, I like a.

[AJ Holiday]

I want a planned one. Like, plan it. Like.

[Tam Bam]

Like.

[Mila]

Yeah, it's planned. It was planned. I was like. It was consensual. Non consensual. It's. That's a real word in the kink. Consensual. Non consensual. So I was really into that. He was. He wasn't. Okay, this is the thing, aj, Those short. And this is for all the ladies listening. Those short do be packing sometimes. Okay, sometimes. But also with short. They've had to. They've had to compensate for their height their whole life. So they come with a lot of buried testosterone that comes out unhealthy. So they might slap you. They're going to mind you. And they probably have really worked on their. Their talking and their sex game really good, because that's how they brain you. So if they come and they have all this chemistry and they stare deep into your eyes. Run. Run. They're trying to mind your brain.

[AJ Holiday]

Mine used to drool on me. Imagine somebody drooling on you while you're having sex and just.

[Mila]

He would growl, like. And then he would do, like, he would do an Arabic prayer. Like, I'd be like, oh, my God, he loved me so much. He made It.

[Erica]

He was possessed.

[Tam Bam]

I was.

[Mila]

He was just like, saying, like, I don't even know the words anymore. Like, he would, like, pray after he me. And I was like. It was like. That's why I don't really with Kevin Gates, because I see that same demon. Like, there's like a similar. There's like a sex demon that lives in, like, certain type of men where they act like they love the whorishness about you, but then they try to do like, some religious. They try to, like, use big words.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm so glad Draco left his ass because it's almost like he was starting to look like her. Like he was. I can see that he was draining the outer.

[Mila]

Is that what happens when start draining you? You start look. They start looking. They start looking like.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know how that works.

[AJ Holiday]

Do they not look alike?

[Mila]

Yeah, I'm happy too.

[Tam Bam]

She's beautiful.

[Mila]

I mean, probably getting dicked down by healthy dick by now. Amen.

[Erica]

I hope so.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Amen to that. All right, ladies. This was so much fun. Y' all are so funny. Tell everybody where they can find you. Plug all your things.

[Mila]

I'm Mila. You can find me on Instagram at Mila with an H underscore map with two P's. Follow the good Vibe retreat. We are going on lots of international trips, trips next year. If you have kids or a job and you need to put that down for a minute and find yourself and go hang out with some bad bitches and smoke weed and holl at the moon and think about yourself. This is the trip for you. It is just the best woman summer camp, winter camp, whatever camp that you can ever attend. We have Jamaica, April 17th through the 22nd. It's for 4:20. You don't have to smoke weed to come, but you if. If you do, puff, puff, pass, everything's included. You don't have to worry about but getting yourself there. And then we take care of everything after that.

[Erica]

And make sure you follow us at Good Moms Bad Choices on Instagram and listen to our podcast. If you like this podcast, you're going to love our podcast. And you can follow me at Watch Erica and buy our book, A Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices. It's like the Bible for moms.

[Mila]

Or if you have a friend who's about to have a baby. And yeah, just give her that book too. That's a good baby shower book.

[Tam Bam]

Amen. All right, ladies, Thank y' all so much. This was fun. And I'm definitely coming on the 4:20 trip.

[Mila]

Oh, yeah. I'm gonna send y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Mila]

I'm gonna text you the link right now.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, y' all be doing rituals, doing some mommy wata rituals.

[Erica]

Yeah. And we have payment plans, so you have but months and months and months to make small payments, so it doesn't feel so overwhelming.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Erica]

So come on, girls.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Mila]

Okay. I'm about to put it on my text message. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. All right, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

If y' all enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick it Tam, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. It's official. Tam bam on Instagram. Once again, I love y' all so very, very much. Y' all remember speak now.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know.

[Mila]

Never hold them or never heard your forever hold your peace Forever hold.

[AJ Holiday]

Kind of switch it up a little.

[Tam Bam]

Bit based on who's on so or what we're talking about. So.

[AJ Holiday]

Never hold them bad choices.

[Erica]

Speak forever hold them titties.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, Deuces, We Talk back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or.

[Erica]

Wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Ad Read / Announcer]

Thanks for listening and celebrating five years of the Black Effect podcast network with us. Keep following because the next five years are about to be even bigger. Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10 Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop Voted PC PCMag's Reader's Choice Top Laptop Brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved. Janice Torres here, and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We host the podcast Mind the Small Business Success Stories, produced by Ruby Studio in partners with Intuit QuickBooks.

[Erica]

We're back for season four to talk to some incredible small business owners.

[Ad Read / Announcer]

The big thing about working at tech.

[Tam Bam]

Is that it's ever evolving, ever changing. Everyone's a rookie. That's how fast the industry is changing. So what I'm really excited about is.

[Ad Read / Announcer]

To be part of that change. So listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts, I'm here with spinquest, where you can play and win from the comfort of your own home with with hundreds of slot games and all of the table games you love with real cash prizes. Right now, $30 coin packs are on sale for $10. For new users, it's [e-mail] that's s p I n q U-E-T.com SpinQuest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. This is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? When you buy business software from lots of vendors, the costs add up and it gets complicated and confusing. Odoo solves this. It's a single company that sells a suite of enterprise apps that handles everything from accounting to inventory to sales. Odoo is all connected on a single platform in a simple and affordable way. You can save money without missing out on the features you need. Check out [e-mail] that's odoo.com this is Julian Edelman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jewels Sunday mornings I've got my game day ritual, coffee, lucky socks and now New Morning Uncrustable Sandwiches. It's all about that 12 gram protein boost with the new Uncrustables Bright Eyed Berry or Up and Apple flavors. Bright Eyed Berries got a feisty receiver energy up an apple. Your classic Do it all tight end, soft, pillowy, packed with protein and easy enough for Gronk to grab from the freezer. Whether you're on the couch, driving to the tailgate or heading to the locker room, New Morning Uncrustable Sandwiches are the MVP of snacks. Your new Sunday kickoff ritual starts here with New Morning Uncrustable sandwiches packed with 12 grams of protein.

[Mila]

This is an I heart podcast.

[Tam Bam]

Guaranteed human.