Podcast Summary: We Talk Back

Episode: Roses Are Red, Flags Are Too | Season 6 Premiere

Hosts: Tam Bam & AJ Holiday
Date: February 12, 2026
Podcast Network: The Black Effect & iHeartRadio

Episode Overview

The "We Talk Back" season 6 premiere dives into love, relationships, self-worth, gift-giving, and gender roles surrounding Valentine's Day. Hosts Tam Bam and AJ Holiday share unfiltered, honest, and comedic takes on what Valentine’s means in modern Black womanhood, telling personal stories, giving raw advice, and tackling the social pressures amplified by social media. Through laughter and real talk, they navigate red flags, the complexities of commitment, and the importance of self-love whether single or in a relationship.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Valentine’s & “Galentine’s”: The Hype and the Reality

• [02:07] Both hosts acknowledge the holiday spirit, joking about celebrating Galentine’s versus Valentine’s, with AJ preferring romantic company and Tam Bam noting you can do both.
• Tam Bam: “I’m tired of hanging with bitches. I’m so sick of it.” [02:20]

2. Personal Reflections on Love and Dating

• First "Real" Valentine: Tam Bam celebrates her first real Valentine in a decade, remarking on how time flies and how past holiday relationships felt less authentic.
• AJ: Comfortable being single but aiming for more intentional relationships and self-care.

3. Self-Care, Cosmetic Procedures, and Dental Tourism

• Acupuncture Chat:
  • AJ extols acupuncture’s benefits, using ClassPass credits for different wellness experiences.
  • [04:39] AJ: “It snatches your face. It’s temporary, obviously, but it still trains the muscle, just like doing Botox.”
• Chin Lipo Plans:
  • Tam Bam is excited albeit nervous about her scheduled chin lipo, highlighting beauty standards and personal self-improvement.
• Dental Work Abroad:
  • Tam Bam plans to get dental work in Costa Rica—“get all the dental work I need for the fraction of the cost that it is in the United States.” [08:22]
  • This sparks a larger conversation about American healthcare costs and creative solutions.

4. Expectations Around Valentine’s Gifting

• Gift-Giving Gender Norms:
  • Both criticize the belief that only women should receive gifts: “Valentine’s Day is not just about women. Get your dude something!” [13:57 Tam Bam]
• Sex as a "Gift":
  • The hosts challenge the cliché that “coochie” is a sufficient or original present.
  • AJ: “Y’all just over flooded with all this coochie, like coochie doesn’t matter.” [06:23]
  • Real presents and thoughtfulness are still valued.

5. The Social Media Effect: Unrealistic Holiday Pressure

• Socials create inflated standards (e.g., rose petals in luxury hotels).
• Tam Bam: “Everything is just gotta be grandiose… Now it’s a whole fucking production.” [15:31]
• AJ: “Sometimes women…try to force this person to do this thing they see on Instagram so they can post it. And you just not with that nigga from Instagram.” [16:44]

6. Relationship Status & Obligations

• “Situationships” and Entitlement:
  • Dilemmas over whether non-official partners deserve gifts, especially when intimacy is involved.
  • Tam Bam: “Are y’all sleeping together? If y’all sleep together, then yes, period.” [12:51]
• Handling Disrespect & Red Flags:
  • “Guys will pick a fight with you early [to avoid seeing you on Valentine’s].” [10:25 Tam Bam]

7. Silent Scorecards, Love Languages & The Gift Gap

• Score-Keeping:
  • AJ and Tam Bam debate whether effort should be matched.
  • Tam Bam recalls girlfriends who get their men more thoughtful gifts and grow resentful over lackluster reciprocation.
• Love Languages:
  • Valentine’s as a “love language test” if you value gifts or acts of service.
  • AJ: “All of those things should fall under consideration.” [26:26]
• Notable Quote:
  • Tam Bam: “If you don’t give no gift, don’t do Valentine. You hate me!” [26:07]

8. Red Flags vs. Romance

• Jealousy as “love”? Over-gifting after misbehavior? Both hosts call out these patterns as red flags, not romance.
• Tam Bam: “That’s a red flag.” [27:03]

9. Realism About Relationships, Marriage & Cohabitation

• Open talk about falling in and out of love, the myth of constant passion, and the challenges of living with a partner.
  • Tam Bam: “You go fall in and out of love a thousand times within that relationship.” [33:03]
  • AJ on marriage: “I might not be built for marriage then, you know, because I be holding grudges.” [35:11]
• The hosts agree that enduring love is about mutual grace, but both also vent about historic gender imbalances in emotional labor and endurance.

10. Self-Love as a Foundation

• Tam Bam closes with a heartfelt message to single listeners about the necessity of loving oneself first:
  • Tam Bam: “The best love is self-love, right? [...] The more you pour into yourself, the more the love you’re going to attract to yourself.” [47:36, 48:23]

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Pussy is not Valentine’s present. I know a lot of niggas that beg to differ.”
  — AJ, [06:09]

• “You just not with that nigga from Instagram. That’s not your [man]. He can’t do that.”
  — AJ, [16:44]

• “I feel like men are expected to do more for Valentine’s Day than women.”
  — Tam Bam, [22:00]

• “The best love is self-love, right?...I had to practice a new level of loving myself, which put me in a better position to love someone else.”
  — Tam Bam, [47:36]

Key Segments & Timestamps

• Valentine/Galentine Intro & Personal Updates: [02:07–04:38]
• Self-Care & Beauty Routines: [04:38–08:36]
• Valentine’s Gifting & Gender Dynamics: [08:36–15:31]
• Social Media’s Pressure on Relationships: [15:31–17:14]
• “Situationships” and Relationship Status Obligations: [10:11–14:41]
• Love Languages & Score-Keeping: [19:40–26:52]
• Red Flags vs. Romance: [26:47–28:38]
• Marriage, Cohabitation, and the Endurance Myth: [32:29–38:48]
• Self-Love and Affirmation: [47:32–48:23]

Noteworthy Moments

• Valentine Fail Stories: Both recount being side “Valentines” and all the red flag excuses men make to avoid holiday commitment. [11:04–12:33]
• GoPro Gag Gift Rant: When Tam Bam’s friend gets a useless GoPro camera (“she don’t do nothing athletic. Bitch, you bought this for you!”) [20:41]
• The Realities of Long-Term Love: Honest reflections about endurance, emotional labor, and what modern partnership really requires. [35:11–37:16]

Final Affirmations & Advice

• AJ: “Do what feels nice. Do what feels natural. Show up for your person, be honest with yourself first and foremost, and have a very good time doing all the things.” [47:08]
• Tam Bam: “If you are single and you’re not with anyone this year for Valentine’s Day, it’s okay. Just love on yourself this year, because it’s coming.” [48:23]

For listeners:
Whether you are coupled up, dating, or solo, Tam Bam and AJ remind you: Self-love, honest communication, and mutual effort are non-negotiable—on Valentine’s and every day.
Season 6 of "We Talk Back" proves love is complicated, hilarious, and always worth talking back about.