We Talk Back: Roses Are Red, Flags Are Too

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Talk Back

Episode: Roses Are Red, Flags Are Too | Season 6 Premiere

Hosts: Tam Bam & AJ Holiday
Date: February 12, 2026
Podcast Network: The Black Effect & iHeartRadio

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Episode Overview

The "We Talk Back" season 6 premiere dives into love, relationships, self-worth, gift-giving, and gender roles surrounding Valentine's Day. Hosts Tam Bam and AJ Holiday share unfiltered, honest, and comedic takes on what Valentine’s means in modern Black womanhood, telling personal stories, giving raw advice, and tackling the social pressures amplified by social media. Through laughter and real talk, they navigate red flags, the complexities of commitment, and the importance of self-love whether single or in a relationship.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Valentine’s & “Galentine’s”: The Hype and the Reality

• [02:07] Both hosts acknowledge the holiday spirit, joking about celebrating Galentine’s versus Valentine’s, with AJ preferring romantic company and Tam Bam noting you can do both.
• Tam Bam: “I’m tired of hanging with bitches. I’m so sick of it.” [02:20]

2. Personal Reflections on Love and Dating

• First "Real" Valentine: Tam Bam celebrates her first real Valentine in a decade, remarking on how time flies and how past holiday relationships felt less authentic.
• AJ: Comfortable being single but aiming for more intentional relationships and self-care.

3. Self-Care, Cosmetic Procedures, and Dental Tourism

• Acupuncture Chat:
  • AJ extols acupuncture’s benefits, using ClassPass credits for different wellness experiences.
  • [04:39] AJ: “It snatches your face. It’s temporary, obviously, but it still trains the muscle, just like doing Botox.”
• Chin Lipo Plans:
  • Tam Bam is excited albeit nervous about her scheduled chin lipo, highlighting beauty standards and personal self-improvement.
• Dental Work Abroad:
  • Tam Bam plans to get dental work in Costa Rica—“get all the dental work I need for the fraction of the cost that it is in the United States.” [08:22]
  • This sparks a larger conversation about American healthcare costs and creative solutions.

4. Expectations Around Valentine’s Gifting

• Gift-Giving Gender Norms:
  • Both criticize the belief that only women should receive gifts: “Valentine’s Day is not just about women. Get your dude something!” [13:57 Tam Bam]
• Sex as a "Gift":
  • The hosts challenge the cliché that “coochie” is a sufficient or original present.
  • AJ: “Y’all just over flooded with all this coochie, like coochie doesn’t matter.” [06:23]
  • Real presents and thoughtfulness are still valued.

5. The Social Media Effect: Unrealistic Holiday Pressure

• Socials create inflated standards (e.g., rose petals in luxury hotels).
• Tam Bam: “Everything is just gotta be grandiose… Now it’s a whole fucking production.” [15:31]
• AJ: “Sometimes women…try to force this person to do this thing they see on Instagram so they can post it. And you just not with that nigga from Instagram.” [16:44]

6. Relationship Status & Obligations

• “Situationships” and Entitlement:
  • Dilemmas over whether non-official partners deserve gifts, especially when intimacy is involved.
  • Tam Bam: “Are y’all sleeping together? If y’all sleep together, then yes, period.” [12:51]
• Handling Disrespect & Red Flags:
  • “Guys will pick a fight with you early [to avoid seeing you on Valentine’s].” [10:25 Tam Bam]

7. Silent Scorecards, Love Languages & The Gift Gap

• Score-Keeping:
  • AJ and Tam Bam debate whether effort should be matched.
  • Tam Bam recalls girlfriends who get their men more thoughtful gifts and grow resentful over lackluster reciprocation.
• Love Languages:
  • Valentine’s as a “love language test” if you value gifts or acts of service.
  • AJ: “All of those things should fall under consideration.” [26:26]
• Notable Quote:
  • Tam Bam: “If you don’t give no gift, don’t do Valentine. You hate me!” [26:07]

8. Red Flags vs. Romance

• Jealousy as “love”? Over-gifting after misbehavior? Both hosts call out these patterns as red flags, not romance.
• Tam Bam: “That’s a red flag.” [27:03]

9. Realism About Relationships, Marriage & Cohabitation

• Open talk about falling in and out of love, the myth of constant passion, and the challenges of living with a partner.
  • Tam Bam: “You go fall in and out of love a thousand times within that relationship.” [33:03]
  • AJ on marriage: “I might not be built for marriage then, you know, because I be holding grudges.” [35:11]
• The hosts agree that enduring love is about mutual grace, but both also vent about historic gender imbalances in emotional labor and endurance.

10. Self-Love as a Foundation

• Tam Bam closes with a heartfelt message to single listeners about the necessity of loving oneself first:
  • Tam Bam: “The best love is self-love, right? [...] The more you pour into yourself, the more the love you’re going to attract to yourself.” [47:36, 48:23]

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Pussy is not Valentine’s present. I know a lot of niggas that beg to differ.”
  — AJ, [06:09]

• “You just not with that nigga from Instagram. That’s not your [man]. He can’t do that.”
  — AJ, [16:44]

• “I feel like men are expected to do more for Valentine’s Day than women.”
  — Tam Bam, [22:00]

• “The best love is self-love, right?...I had to practice a new level of loving myself, which put me in a better position to love someone else.”
  — Tam Bam, [47:36]

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Key Segments & Timestamps

• Valentine/Galentine Intro & Personal Updates: [02:07–04:38]
• Self-Care & Beauty Routines: [04:38–08:36]
• Valentine’s Gifting & Gender Dynamics: [08:36–15:31]
• Social Media’s Pressure on Relationships: [15:31–17:14]
• “Situationships” and Relationship Status Obligations: [10:11–14:41]
• Love Languages & Score-Keeping: [19:40–26:52]
• Red Flags vs. Romance: [26:47–28:38]
• Marriage, Cohabitation, and the Endurance Myth: [32:29–38:48]
• Self-Love and Affirmation: [47:32–48:23]

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Noteworthy Moments

• Valentine Fail Stories: Both recount being side “Valentines” and all the red flag excuses men make to avoid holiday commitment. [11:04–12:33]
• GoPro Gag Gift Rant: When Tam Bam’s friend gets a useless GoPro camera (“she don’t do nothing athletic. Bitch, you bought this for you!”) [20:41]
• The Realities of Long-Term Love: Honest reflections about endurance, emotional labor, and what modern partnership really requires. [35:11–37:16]

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Final Affirmations & Advice

• AJ: “Do what feels nice. Do what feels natural. Show up for your person, be honest with yourself first and foremost, and have a very good time doing all the things.” [47:08]
• Tam Bam: “If you are single and you’re not with anyone this year for Valentine’s Day, it’s okay. Just love on yourself this year, because it’s coming.” [48:23]

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For listeners:
Whether you are coupled up, dating, or solo, Tam Bam and AJ remind you: Self-love, honest communication, and mutual effort are non-negotiable—on Valentine’s and every day.
Season 6 of "We Talk Back" proves love is complicated, hilarious, and always worth talking back about.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.

[AJ Holiday]

Happy Valentine's.

[Tam Bam]

Happy Valentine's. Galentine's.

[AJ Holiday]

Galentine. I never celebrated a Galentine.

[Tam Bam]

Why?

[AJ Holiday]

Because I be having a Valentine's Day.

[Tam Bam]

You can do both. I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm tired of hanging with bitches. I'm so sick of it.

[Tam Bam]

We back, y'. All. We're back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'?

[Tam Bam]

All?

[AJ Holiday]

It's your co host, AJ Holiday.

[Tam Bam]

And it's Tam Bam. I love y' all so much. I missed y' all so much. These few weeks without y', all, I've been feeling sick. How you been feeling?

[AJ Holiday]

Great. I've been able to go to sleep at night, not have to think about another thing I gotta do after I get off from one job. Job and do another job.

[Tam Bam]

This feels like a job to you?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, it does. Like, this is a lot of work.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, people probably think even when we do virtual, it's. It's a lot of work. You know what I'm saying? We probably be like, it's fun skating. I mean, it's fun, but it's still a lot of work.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I mean, it's work.

[AJ Holiday]

I would prefer to just be doing this as life's work. Right. That's what we working towards. But I still don't want to talk on the mic forever. You want to?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I was not in this capacity ever. In this capacity.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but just, like, more money.

[AJ Holiday]

You talking about.

[Tam Bam]

This is easy.

[AJ Holiday]

Gotta work for them damn dollars.

[Tam Bam]

So.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, I'm just a lazy hustler.

[Tam Bam]

I think that's what it is.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I'm a lazy ass. I do not like chasing money. I don't, like, feel like I'm hustling. I don't. I don't like it.

[Tam Bam]

I love mine. Guess what, y'. All, It's Valentine's Day week. Does this come out before. Oh, yes. This comes out right before Valentine's. And guess what? I got a Valentine. This is my first year with a real Valentine. A real one, because I had some fake ones in a decade.

[AJ Holiday]

God.

[Tam Bam]

Ain't that crazy? That time, first of all, the time, the time between 2016 and 2026 doesn't even feel real.

[AJ Holiday]

It's weird when people are doing a challenge online. Like, the 10 year, I'm like, 2016 seems like yesterday.

[Tam Bam]

It does not seem like a decade ago.

[AJ Holiday]

I look at pictures from then. I'm like, I just took these pictures, right?

[Tam Bam]

But then I look at me from then, and my back is a little bit bigger, so I know it is a decade ago.

[AJ Holiday]

My wrinkle a little deeper, right? I've been getting acupuncture.

[Tam Bam]

How's that working for you?

[AJ Holiday]

It's working. It's working. Oh, my God.

[Tam Bam]

It's a ghost.

[AJ Holiday]

It's working. It snatches your face. It's temporary, obviously, Right. But it still trains the muscle, just like doing Botox. So. Because I do class pass. Classes are $60 a month for 28 credits.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

My ass don't be getting to the gym. So at the end of the month, I be having hella credits. I just go get acupuncture, use them all, so I'm paying $60 a month. Acupuncture?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that's not bad.

[AJ Holiday]

No, it's good. But they do full body, and then they do the needling in the face, too, like, on the jawline and in your ear, because apparently a pressure point in the air, like, does the face.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, like, for lymphatic drainage in the ear. I might have to try that. I'm actually scheduled to get chin lipo on March 23rd.

[AJ Holiday]

Who are you going after that? You shouting out the clinic?

[Tam Bam]

I can. Dr. Sager Patel. He's in Beverly Hills. So I'm excited. I'm scared. But I'm also excited because y' all know I'd be, like, tucking my hair around my dick.

[AJ Holiday]

Now. She could be like, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

So after March, it's all elongated. I'm gonna. Y' all be gonna get all the side profiles, and I'm excited for that. But let's talk about his Valentine's. Are you doing anything special?

[AJ Holiday]

I probably just do dinner and suck dick. Like, not too much.

[Tam Bam]

Just.

[AJ Holiday]

That's about it. Y' all say pussy is not Valentine's present. I. I know a lot of niggas that beg to differ. It's a lot of men who don't get coochie.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

So the men who I just. Just overflow.

[Tam Bam]

You're ungrateful is what you are.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly.

[Tam Bam]

That's what it is.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all just over flooded with all this coochie. Like, coochie doesn't matter. That. That Christmas, birthday, Valentine, coochie is always a gift, right?

[Tam Bam]

But you got to give him something.

[AJ Holiday]

Else I do want. Like, I. I can't. I don't really remember a time where I did, like, a whole lot of gift giving to a guy on Valentine. Valentine's not times. Okay. But, yeah, I want to do some really nice stuff. You know, I. I'm trying to, like, plan some. Wait, he might hear this, right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. So you can't say it?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

That's why I was just thinking, like, I wanted to tell y', all, but I can't because this is recorded prior to Valentine's Day.

[AJ Holiday]

I want to do some nice.

[Tam Bam]

I'm definitely going to surprise my new guy for Valentine's thing.

[AJ Holiday]

So I did message him, and I asked him about size of these. These sweats he likes to wear. And I know he probably like this. You trying to buy me something? That's why you ask him the Size of it. And he was like, I thought we weren't exchanging gifts. Like, I don't particularly need anything. We going to do dinner or what?

[Tam Bam]

Whatever.

[AJ Holiday]

And he's coming into town. That's enough for me. I know. I racked up on his ass for Christmas. So, yeah, I'm trying to be conservative.

[Tam Bam]

Valentine.

[AJ Holiday]

Look at us, growing up saving money, right?

[Tam Bam]

Who would have thought.

[AJ Holiday]

Who would have thunk it?

[Tam Bam]

Season six, finally saving.

[AJ Holiday]

I am considering a man's pocket for the first time. And not like there's like limit or anything like that, but I just. I'm cool. I'm good. I think shower him a little bit.

[Tam Bam]

I think we're going to do something probably like, he's playing it. So I don't know, but I know it's probably going to be something like. Because we're going to go to Costa Rica on February 28th and you want to do ayahuasca.

[AJ Holiday]

I want to go.

[Tam Bam]

I would like that. But he's not. He's not going to do that. But I'm going to get a crown on my tooth. No, he don't do.

[AJ Holiday]

No, you want to get it. Going to Costa Rica for a crown.

[Tam Bam]

I'm going to get crowned and I'm going to get some feelings. I'm just going to get like, all the dental work I need for the fraction of a cost that it is in the United States.

[AJ Holiday]

Did you get a estimate already?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I can't remember. It was like 800.

[AJ Holiday]

Wow. I might need to consider that.

[Tam Bam]

And this is the dentist he's been going to for a long time. That's how he knows that they're good. And. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Because I, like, I know I probably mentioned this the last couple episodes, but I just recently had my mouth fucked up by the dentist. And the.

[Tam Bam]

The.

[AJ Holiday]

The.

[Tam Bam]

What is it?

[AJ Holiday]

The. The people that clean your teeth first.

[Tam Bam]

The dental hygienist.

[AJ Holiday]

The hygienist, yeah. She was like, what do you do? Like. And I. One of the things I told her I do because she was saying how great my teeth were. I don't come to the dentist. That's like one of the things.

[Tam Bam]

I would not recommend that for everybody else. Why?

[AJ Holiday]

To keep your teeth, man. I now have sensitivity. All type of happening on the left side of my mouth that I didn't have. I have a filling in the front that is now chipped randomly. I got this filling 10 years ago, 2017. And why is it chipped? What did y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

What happened when y' all were cleaning my teeth? It's just.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, it got chipped in the cleanest.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So I'm like, what? And this feeling that you gave me in the back is messed up now. It's something that's air getting back there.

[Tam Bam]

It's a pocket I gotta replace my mom's partial because Bella got a hold of it. She ate it. She was chewing it. She had it in her mouth.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, when I was younger, I had a mouth guard and they would say, just make sure. If you have any pets, make sure the dog, because they, they like, they like to chew that up.

[Tam Bam]

So now I have to replace that.

[AJ Holiday]

You might as well take her to Costa Rica.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I think I should do.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So she can get a whole.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, get all her. Right, Brandon.

[AJ Holiday]

So I guess we talk about love today a little bit. Yeah, let's talk about it in a different dynamics, right. Because everybody, you know, you have situationships on Valentine's Day. How do you maneuver through that Valentine?

[Tam Bam]

I mean, guys will like, like they'll pick a fight with you early, like, go see your ass. I saw a say on. What did he say? It was on social media that something about his check being like he was setting up the play early on social media. So he's like, but I won't get it till the 15th.

[AJ Holiday]

So now you got to do nothing for me in the 14th.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Like trying to set up that play where he don't have to do something now.

[AJ Holiday]

And it's real bad now because Valentine's is on a Saturday, right.

[Tam Bam]

So you're not at work. Where you at?

[AJ Holiday]

What's the excuse?

[Tam Bam]

It's gonna be a lot of people who aren't going to deal with each other anymore because they didn't show up on Valentine's Day.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, I've been there, man, middle finger to my old life. I remember being in my 20s and dating somebody who was a pathological liar, but I was a pathological acting like I don't know what the going on. Right. And still messing with him. And he was like trying to rush Valentine's for me. One year I've had that boy. Like, you know, the restaurant's gonna be packed. This is going to be an all day ordeal.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

So you should have picked where you needed to be at, which was most important. Because really you let, let my feelings be the one to get hurt. Because one thing I, I don't like people playing with me though, because you could have left my ass at the house.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

It was terrible. Like, I feel. I think I ended up leaving him at the restaurant. It was so bad.

[Tam Bam]

That's why I say I haven't had a Valentine in 10 years. Because I did have one in prior. In. In that. During that time. Spanish. But he like. I guess he had more than one Valentine and I guess I was the early Valentine. Cause he was like, he cooked me dinner. He did all the things. Yeah. And then tried to act like his homeboy. Like his homeboy needed a ride and he had to go pick him up, so he had to leave. I was like, get him an Uber.

[AJ Holiday]

He left you at the house?

[Tam Bam]

I. No, he. He tried to leave me at the house, but I just left. Where are you going? You going to another Valentine? Obviously. Bitch ass nigga.

[AJ Holiday]

So for women, right? I know women, sometimes they kind of like try to seek men out, try to find somebody specifically like for Christmas, for Valentine's. If you're not official, do you even deserve anything? Like, should this man feel obligated to do something nice for you on Valentine?

[Tam Bam]

Well, I guess it just depends on the dynamics of. Are y' all sleeping together? If y' all sleep together, then yes, period.

[AJ Holiday]

What if y' all ain't sleeping together yet, but y' all like dating and.

[Tam Bam]

Then, I mean, flowers is a nice, kind gesture to send to someone that you're just dating and getting to know. Just to let them know that, hey, it is Valentine's Day. We may not be there yet, but I am thinking of you. But not doing nothing. Because we ain't like, I don't celebrate Valentine. I hate it. I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, ass.

[AJ Holiday]

I hate it. I don't celebrate Christmas. And shut up. And I'm not even that like super into gift giving and all that because I do expect some all the time. But I. That. That is some old finesse hotel.

[Tam Bam]

You're right. Just so you don't have to spend your money.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, you celebrate Christmas right Now you would celebrate Valentine. I think men know that. No, it's not just this. It's not a super spectacular holiday. Or it's not. But you know, if you don't show up for the woman that you fucking with on Valentine, it's going to be a problem, right? Like you.

[Tam Bam]

Even if you don't have a gift, at least be there. Don't be nowhere else. But I think you should come with something. Don't come empty handed. But women too. Because I just feel like women feel like Valentine's Day is just about them. And I don't think that's fair. Yeah, get your dude something Yeah, I was talking to a client and I was like, well, what are you doing for your guy for Valentine's Day? She's like, that's the thing for women to do something. Yeah, girl, that's the thing.

[AJ Holiday]

I like gifts too.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

I'll be liking the. Buy men's. I like to buy men's that I like. Like, I like certain colognes and a couple might be walking around smelling the same. But actually my current. I bought him a cologne that nobody else.

[Tam Bam]

Ye. Yeah, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

No, seriously. But I got some colognes that I like. And I know I have bought that same cologne for several. I mean, excuse me, for a couple men. But he got a new fragrance that I actually like, went out and smelled, you know, and got him a nice one. Then nobody else has. Is he special like that for Valentine? Anyway, Do you think social media kind of puts an unrealistic expectation on Valentine's Day? Because, you know, everybody is a millionaire on Instagram. So you got the men setting up the hotel rooms with all the roses everywhere. I don't know who the cleaning all that up.

[Tam Bam]

But yeah, I think social media puts unrealistic expectation on absolutely everything. Everything is just gotta be grandiose. Like, remember when baby showers were. Everybody come to the house, sit in the living room, we have cake and a couple, like, food.

[AJ Holiday]

Or you rent out the. The clubhouse in your apartment complex.

[Tam Bam]

Your apartment complex. And then it just be something with your close friends. Now it's a whole fucking production. Like shit exploding in the sky. And, you know, like, just imagine being pregnant.

[AJ Holiday]

You mad. The man you pregnant for is like, I'm not paying for that.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Too much.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Because all that money that you're spending could literally go to things you need for the baby. But that's another story. Valentine's too, like, yeah, it can be. But I want all the things, though. So I don't want to sit here and act like.

[AJ Holiday]

You want the things that's on Instagram.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I want all the things.

[AJ Holiday]

The hotel with the flowers and stuff like that. But I mean, you could possibly be talking to somebody who can do all those things. I think sometimes women, they don't really know who they. They know who they're with, but they're trying to now force this person to do this thing that they see on Instagram so that they can post it on Instagram. Of course.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

And you just. Not with that nigga from Instagram. That's not your right. That's not.

[Tam Bam]

He don't.

[AJ Holiday]

He can't do that or Maybe he values his money just differently.

[Tam Bam]

Right? And he doesn't want to do that, but he does want to. Like, you need new tires on your car.

[AJ Holiday]

That was one thing. So, yeah, I didn't get you anything for Valentine, but I just paid your car note. That might not be good enough for somebody. They want both.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. No, I'm not saying, like, that's not good enough for me, per se, but if you can do both, do both. But if you had to choose, obviously the more responsible one is the one you would need to go with. And I think we're speaking more to young people in this conversation. When you're in your 20s and even early 30s, like, you may not be.

[AJ Holiday]

Able to 40s, you don't think a lot of people spending Valentine's Day and all these different holidays with people, they not. They can't even get a. Get commitment out of. And I mean, sometimes in men's mind, like, this is commitment. I'm here with you on Valentine's Day. No, I didn't say you were my girl or my. My girlfriend or whatever. My lady. But I'm here with you. It speaks volumes, right? A little bit.

[Tam Bam]

No, I do. Like, you chose this person to be with on Valentine's Day, the day that we celebrate love. You chose this person to be with. I do think that says something. But until you say, I'm with you, we are together. Y' all single. Because a will definitely be, like, weed together.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all went to.

[Tam Bam]

Went to. Damn. I was at your grandma hospital with you and your grandma. Like, I took your grandma to the hospital with you. I know your whole family. I watch your kids.

[AJ Holiday]

No, hold on. I got a messy meme. Hold on one second. I saw this meme, and I saved it.

[Tam Bam]

All right? While you finding that I can take, I just want to tell y' all that, like, a decade ago on Valentine's Day, I would go nigga knocking. Like, if it sound like people were.

[AJ Holiday]

In love in there.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, y' all playing music in that and run. That shit used to be so much fun. I was such a hater, bro. That was such a hater shit to do. But it was fun.

[AJ Holiday]

This is actually for another episode, but it's relevant. Men be like, she's just a friend. And it's literally someone they've nutted in.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

But unless. Unless.

[Tam Bam]

Unless y' all have said that y' all are more than friends, then you're just a friend that's been nutted in. That's why you have to, like, say the thing, make People say the thing.

[AJ Holiday]

This thing I saw online, it was talking about like a silent scorecard. Like how women, I think women, we put so much we put more energy into things that we do. Like men, like they say they simple. Whatever, whatever. Just lazy is what I'm hearing. Right. So what do you think the difference between a man planning Valentine's versus a woman actually planning Valentine's in terms of what? Also, like how not like women are going to do more when planning Valentine's?

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. I feel like men do more when planning Valentine's. I do, I do. I feel like men now sometimes. Like I have a friend, she gives her man better gifts. So she's like, this year I ain't doing all of that because I always give him a better. Like it's more thoughtful. So I'm just gonna give him something simple this time because I know I'm not gonna get that same effort. But I feel like on Valentine that's.

[AJ Holiday]

Why it's score keeping. Because it shouldn't matter if this, if you are a great gift giver, continue being a great gift giver. It shouldn't be based on the gift they giving you.

[Tam Bam]

But if you always getting dope ass gift and this giving you some bullshit every time that don't align with anything. Like did you even think of me when you bought me this? Like this nigga got her a GoPro GoPro camera that you put on your hair.

[AJ Holiday]

She don't do none of that.

[Tam Bam]

She don't do nothing athletic. She don't go outside. Bitch, you bought this for you. You know you bought this. You gave it to me. But this is really for you.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, she can wear it while she giving me. It's gonna be his own abdomen right.

[Tam Bam]

Here with the GoPro.

[AJ Holiday]

Fuck outta here.

[Tam Bam]

That's still not a gift.

[AJ Holiday]

That's not a gift. I use the fuck out of GoPro. I like, like I would use it.

[Tam Bam]

Too, but did a get you a camera?

[AJ Holiday]

Where the that camera? We could be taking pictures right now.

[Tam Bam]

It's outside.

[AJ Holiday]

Who get it?

[Tam Bam]

But I got meta glasses. I love my meta glasses. So GoPro is similar.

[AJ Holiday]

That's on. That's on character for you Police ass.

[Tam Bam]

I wore them shits to the planetarium. This was lit. I was looking like I got the video. It's nice.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't bring them around me. That's the police. You were the first person that had those. Them virtual. What is she called?

[Tam Bam]

The. Okay, I knew.

[AJ Holiday]

Like the virtual little goggle thing.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I can't remember what it's called. But I love that too. But I do feel like men are expected to do more for Valentine's Day than women.

[AJ Holiday]

Why is that, though? I wonder why. Why is it, like, seen as a woman holiday? And men only have, what, their birthday and Father's Day?

[Tam Bam]

You know, in Chicago, they celebrate Swee Sweetest day. That's a male driven holiday. But sweeties sweetest. I think it's sweetest, but I might be saying it wrong. I don't live there, but I know they celebrate that. And it was always like, male. Like, about your man.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, we can celebrate men more.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I think we should celebrate them more. Like, do better. What? Did. Didn't Kanye say, you got me a sweater? Next year, do better. Like, she just got the a sweater. Like, I think we do need a. Because y' all do think, and I say y', all, that coochie is just a gift. Enough. It's not.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I'm giving coochie. I'm just saying for men to act like it ain't a gift. It is. There's a lot of men who don't get coochie on any day.

[Tam Bam]

No, I.

[AJ Holiday]

So if you are lucky enough to have some coochie locked in for Valentine in life, period.

[Tam Bam]

But if you're lucky, if you got this coochie, the same coochie on the 12th, is it a gift on the 14th? Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

No, it ain't. That's the same coochie from two days ago. But why? Okay, imagine me not giving you that coochie. This nigga about to go crazy if he don't get that coochie.

[Tam Bam]

I know. I get what you're saying.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm be mad as hell.

[Tam Bam]

It don't feel like a gift. Fall asleep. I've had this gift many times before.

[AJ Holiday]

So why do you be mad when you fall asleep? You fuck around, you be down playing a whole day to have sex, and you fuck around and go to sleep with a nigga if you want to. I've had it happen to me. I'm thinking about this dick from the time we left the house this morning and we get home and you had to sleep first. You gonna wake up with snail trail on your forehead.

[Tam Bam]

Yikes.

[AJ Holiday]

Pick that ass up early in the morning with the Breakfast club.

[Tam Bam]

But no, I can understand why. Just the same vagina from the 12th is not a gift. It's part of the gift. It's part. It could be part of the gift, but it should not be the whole gift. Especially if you want a man to do all these grandiose things so you can post it on Instagram for your friends. And all you brought was the same coochie from two days ago. And you ain't even bringing no new tricks out. You just doing the same shit you did two days ago.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, if you bring out new tricks randomly with a nigga, he gonna think you smashed somebody else yesterday. Like, who taught you that? Where you get that new trick from?

[Tam Bam]

XXX videos or whatever it's called.

[AJ Holiday]

Is Valentine's Day a love language test, you think? Because like I was saying, like, women might do planning a little bit better. You say men plan better for Valentine. I guess they usually do all that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I feel like they have to plan for Valentine's Day. The woman isn't like, oh, I got reservations here. That's not typical for Valentine's Day. It's the man who does that, right?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I be planning this shit. Cause I don't want to eat someplace you send me some bullshit. I need to know what we eat.

[Tam Bam]

So you plan your Valentine's.

[AJ Holiday]

I will, yes. I'm planning the restaurant. We eating that. Because I need to make sure there's going to be some good food on the menu. Yeah, I'd be pissed going places in that. It's nothing on there I want to eat.

[Keke Palmer (Advertisement)]

Oh.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, I'm like, I want to close my eyes and see what happened on Valentine's Day. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you eat steak, right? You could at least get a good steak somewhere. Like, I need to make sure they got, I don't know, some type of shrimp, something a pasta or.

[Tam Bam]

But your man should know that about you, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And then pick it. He.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm also from Charleston. He's not.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So I don't mind.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

I like to plan the food regardless. I feel even if we was going someplace neither one of us was from, like, I'm. I'm in charge of the food.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm real particular, you know?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. About what you eat.

[AJ Holiday]

I want no bullshit now.

[Tam Bam]

But hold on. I feel like I got off the question. What was it?

[AJ Holiday]

Is Valentine's Day a love language test?

[Tam Bam]

You think it can be. I mean, especially if your love language is gifts like mine.

[AJ Holiday]

You don't give no gift. Don't do Valentine.

[Tam Bam]

You hate me.

[AJ Holiday]

Basically. That's what I'm hearing.

[Tam Bam]

So, yeah, I guess it can be a love language test. Cuz, you know, you. Words of affirmation, acts of service, what are they? Physical touch. I mean, I guess you're going to do literally all of them on Valentine's Day.

[AJ Holiday]

I only have one.

[Tam Bam]

Or I like.

[AJ Holiday]

I do all the love languages and I feel like there's another love language. We talked about toxicity. That's one. That's some people's love language. And I like. My love language is consideration. Because all that shit you're considering what it is that I like. So all of those things should fall under consideration.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I guess that's like some. All of it. Yeah, that's all of it in one.

[AJ Holiday]

That's it. Just do all the things this says. Romantic or red flag. He gets jealous because he loves me.

[Tam Bam]

What? That's a red flag.

[AJ Holiday]

Where are we going at with that?

[Tam Bam]

That's definitely.

[AJ Holiday]

What if you was with somebody who did all these things on Valentine. But then like, that was it for.

[Tam Bam]

The rest of the year, the rest.

[AJ Holiday]

Of y' all relationship.

[Tam Bam]

But you know what? I'm not. Because I don't need shit. Oh, I don't want to lie. I was about to lie. I was about to lie so bad. Sometimes you just gotta know yourself a little bit more. I was about to say I don't need shit all year. Like, I want three bigger gifts a year. Valentine's, my birthday and Christmas. And luckily they're like spaced out about three months apart.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

You're trying to save, right? So you have enough time to get those gifts and you know, and then the rest of the year I don't need shit. That's how I feel.

[AJ Holiday]

In case a tire. A tire.

[Tam Bam]

That don't count.

[AJ Holiday]

That do count. I just thought I just bought you a four set of tires last month and now Valentine's coming up and so.

[Tam Bam]

I. Oh, all right. So I would consider that. Obviously I would be like, okay, well, I don't. Just flowers still come in here with something. God damn. Don't come in here with nothing.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't just come with dick.

[Tam Bam]

Don't just come with dick. No, we can't. You better not just come with dick. You take that back to the house.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't even know where this is going at with a romantic or a red flag, but it says constant texting equals caring or control. Grand gestures after bad behavior. I don't know what the hell that's about.

[Tam Bam]

Grand gestures after bad behavior. Like doing, like, nice things. If you did something wrong, like buying me shit to get back in my good grace. I like that. At least I like that. Like, don't just come in here and talk about you. Sorry, where are the gifts?

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, change, action and a gift. A makeup bag, something Nice. I'm just not even in a space where I want to be in any situations with somebody making me that mad they got to make up with me.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that's. I just feel like that's reality. Like we're all human. We're going to be flawed and make mistakes and I'm going to probably. We're going to have to make up at some point, you know, who you with that ain't gonna. That never. That's never gonna disappoint you.

[AJ Holiday]

And I'm not saying they gonna fuck up, but do we gotta make up? I just feel like people be people don't do what you want to do and then think I'm supposed to make up with you. I'm not making up with people no more.

[Tam Bam]

What you mean?

[AJ Holiday]

So it better be good forever.

[Tam Bam]

That don't happen in real life.

[AJ Holiday]

It does. It can. Remember I was saying hi, I saw this couple on Instagram and it was a white couple. They were being interviewed on the street and they have been married for like 30 years or some shit like that. And they said the key to their successful marriage because they was like, they was just walking, holding hands still like on each other, right? It was. She said that they, they are. They both try to one up each other and how happy they can make the other.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? Like if we know what would make our partner sad. So why ever do those things?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but sometimes people do things, it's not their intention to hurt you.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, in relationships, like, I mean, I could see like you leaving shit around the house. Right. Maybe you just not the cleanest person and you try really hard to pick up behind yourself, but you just can't seem to do it. But anything else, like cheating, you could have not have done that. Yeah, lying, I don't know, fucking money up. You could have not done those things.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but people are going to make mistakes, you know, I just feel like you just got to give them grace to make mistakes and they're gonna make bad choices. And I love a makeup. I love to make up. So I remember I used to start fights just to make up. You don't like makeup sex? There's a lot.

[AJ Holiday]

No, if we. I don't. We. I don't want to have to keep making up.

[Tam Bam]

We don't have to keep making up. But I'm just saying, like.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but if you're.

[Tam Bam]

There's something like a new. It's like an intense level of passion that comes with a makeup. You Know, like after a dispute.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I don't want to. Like, if we.

[Tam Bam]

You don't know what I'm talking. You know what I'm talking about.

[AJ Holiday]

I know exactly what you're saying, but what I'm saying is I have to be happy to have sex, first of all. And if we are constantly, always having. Yes, makeup sex do be filled with a lot of passion, but it gets to a point to where I don't want you to touch me. Why are we always having. Why we gotta be mad at each other to have this type of passion? You see what I'm saying? Why cannot we. Why. Why can't we have this passion and happy? We gotta create environments to be pissed at each other so we can fuck the shit outta each other. No, I wanna do this. I wanna fuck you just like this and happy about it.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but that's not real. Not all the time. I mean, it can happen, but not all the time. You know, like, after you've been with someone so long and y' all been together for a while, sometimes that passion can wane. That passion can wane and this coochie can wane.

[AJ Holiday]

Cause if you can make me, that.

[Tam Bam]

Coochie gonna be on a n. Name? Wayne. Sorry. All right, I'm sorry, but. Sorry. Right, but what I'm saying is that passion can wane sometimes. And sometimes it takes something. Like a fight can spice it, bring some little spice and bring some intensity.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know if that's how I want to spice it up, because I am very. I'm vindictive, first of all, like, secretly. And then also if I'm. I feel like if you're doing things and you're constantly arguing or whatever, you know, you fall out of love, you're not falling in love. So I don't never want to do anything to be falling out of love with the person I'm with. If I want to be with them, don't be arguing. I'm out of there.

[Tam Bam]

I just feel like a relationship, as long as you stick it out. You go fall in and out of love a thousand times within that relationship, you be together for years and years and years.

[AJ Holiday]

Thomas. Like you're the only married nigga in the room.

[Tam Bam]

It's a roller coaster. Yeah. It's going to be ups and downs and there's going to be times where you more in love and maybe times where you less. Yeah, but.

[AJ Holiday]

But isn't like, when you get married. I mean, all. To me, all relationships is more so about, like, how much you can put up with from somebody else. Right. But at the end of the day, that is still the person who you want to put up with.

[Tam Bam]

Got to be my daughter.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. But y' all not. Are y' all not really falling out of love though?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I mean, you can.

[AJ Holiday]

So you've had Mary.

[Tam Bam]

You wake up and be like, I kill this motherfucker today if he say one word to me. But you still love them, but you just not in love right now. And then some time will pass and you fall back in love for whatever reason. Or you go through. Let's say you go through something hard together and you realize again that thing that made you fall in love with them in the first place, you know, like, it's just like a roller coaster.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Because life is hard stuff.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I. I know being in love is definitely a state of mind. I just don't want to be in a situation where my state of mind is out of love more than it is in love. No, that's because if it gets to that point, I'm out of there. You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

But you ain't never been laying next.

[AJ Holiday]

To a nigga like Abs and I got the fuck.

[Tam Bam]

I killed this motherfucker today. If he say something.

[AJ Holiday]

No. And I had to get up out of there because eventually, if it's too many of those days, there's no love left. Right? You might love this person. You care about them, you care about their well being. You don't want nothing to happen to them. I love my ex boyfriend. We haven't spoken since he left, right? Since we broke up. But I care about his well being. Not that I am in love with him, but I fell out of love and I just.

[Tam Bam]

Fuck. But when you're in a marriage, sometimes people go through years where they don't like that person and then they come back and they're back in love. But they decided to.

[AJ Holiday]

I might not be stay in that.

[Tam Bam]

Commitment because they decided to make that commitment. You hear people say that, Yeah, I didn't like that nigga for at least seven to 10 years of our marriage.

[AJ Holiday]

And I might not be built for marriage then, you know, because I be holding grudges. So it's going to be like if it's some real serious severe shit, I'm not getting over it easy, you know what I'm saying? Like, I. Matter of fact, I. Cause I'll stay in the thing, but I got resentment while in the thing. Like I don't want that anymore.

[Tam Bam]

For me, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I've been in relationships and having. Holding on to hell of resentment. I can't move past the thing. And it's just miserable.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So I can't imagine being married to somebody legally and you just have to deal with bullshit that people give you. Because I'm not giving you bullshit to deal with. You're giving the relationship bullshit to deal with.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know, I just think like, when you get into it with somebody that you really, really see that future with, you gonna stick it out. You're gonna stick it out because I've seen you stick it stay in things that weren't suited for you for longer than you should have.

[AJ Holiday]

So I think though, maybe I didn't stick it out in those situations longer. That's what that person thinks. You saying what those people would think. I abandoned them. I didn't stick it out longer. I didn't weather the stuff. My fucking ex. Because you got homeboys who have cheated on their fucking girls, cheated on their wives, and they are still together. He was like so and so, said we supposed to stay together. Like, no, nigga, I leave niggas. And I have told you that before. I have told you I'll leave. I'm a runner. I'm a track star. For real. So, no, it's not too much of sticking out. Because a lot of times it's the woman endurance that keeps the relationship going in the first place is we've endured all the hurt. Yeah, we have sat and endured all the hurt for us to get to 20 years of marriage. What did the man endure? You ain't hell like me because I got a little fat one day and you went outside his house to complete your happiness someplace else. Because over there is fun, cuz. Ain't no bills over there. Ain't no kids over there. And you got to come over here to me and I'm here with the kids and the house and their responsibilities and fat.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I don't want to be over.

[AJ Holiday]

There either though, you know, that shit.

[Tam Bam]

Did not sound good the way you painted it. I'm over here with this bitch too.

[AJ Holiday]

That bitch house is lit. You got ebt. It's fun over here, right? Yeah. So, yeah. I don't know. I just feel like if you talk to older women, I don't want. This is Valentine's Day, so I don't want to like, like overshadow like the relationship because this was supposed to be a happy love woes and stuff like that. But I think if you talk to a lot of older women who probably divorced now, they don't ever want to be married again. They feel like it was the worst mistake that they Life those women, right? It was because their endurance that they got 40, 50. Our grandmothers. It was their endurance of. That got the marriage to 50 years. The man just was farting.

[Tam Bam]

But then you. But in turn, there's women who have been in their marriages, and they both had to deal with their other person, too. I just.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the thing. I just know that I don't think I'm gonna be able to find somebody that will deal with my bullshit.

[Tam Bam]

But you will. But my bullshit. I've been dealing with your bullshit for six years.

[AJ Holiday]

Shut up.

[Tam Bam]

And I'm still in it with you, contractually, bitch. That's all a marriage is, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but. Yeah, I don't think. I just never. I've never gotten the same amount of grace in a relationship that. That I give. Right? So I just. I don't know. I'm taking something on the grace back. Maybe that's what. I don't know. I'll see when it happens.

[Tam Bam]

I hope that this relationship you're in is the one that you.

[AJ Holiday]

No, it's already different, right? And some days I'd be like, am I good enough for this? Like, I really be thinking.

[Tam Bam]

And that's good when you feel that way.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Like, am I good enough? Like, am I finished doing all so that I don't hurt him?

[Tam Bam]

Because I just feel, like, healthy in my head. And this might be stupid, but. Or crazy, but in my head, a healthy relationship is when both of you feel like you don't deserve each other. You know, I always feel like the men are always like, damn, how did I get her? Right? And I'm like, yeah, how the fuck did you get me? But with this new guy, I also, in turn feel like, damn, he's still so good. Like, how am I so lucky to have this guy? And I don't typically feel like that. So I just think, like, that's important when you both are feeling like you aren't even worthy of the other person, if that makes sense. Come on.

[AJ Holiday]

We talk about love, okay? We talking about. See how we full circle, came right back around to love.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. So, yeah, that's how I feel because like I told you before, I feel like in this particular relationship, it's almost like my last relationships, I was, like, fretting over cheating, lying, whatever, and now it's like, oh, my God, Like, I. I don't know what I would do if something happened to this person. That's how I feel about him. Like the worst I was feeling about these. I' ma beat this ass if he did such and such and such, because I know he was outside doing such and such and such. So now just to know, like, I'm just afraid. Like, I just. I'd be scared. I really be scared.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it's good.

[AJ Holiday]

Something gonna happen.

[Tam Bam]

No, that's not good.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I know. I'm not trying to manifest it or anything like that, but it's just like, that is how. That's how much I love him. Like, I'm afraid that I could be hurt by this motherfucker.

[Tam Bam]

Like, for real, by him doing something or just the loss of himself.

[AJ Holiday]

The loss of.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's fair. And that's. And there's some beauty in that, I guess, in a weird kind of.

[AJ Holiday]

You get it, Thomas.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. A ring.

[State Farm Agent (Advertisement)]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Hold on.

[AJ Holiday]

Let me add a little bit of context.

[Tam Bam]

My.

[AJ Holiday]

My significant other is a little younger than me, and I was talking to a friend the other day, and I told him that. I was like, you know, he a little younger than me, because he said, oh, well, y' all talking about marriage. And I'm like, it's only been, like, a little while. For real. When you meet people, like, who are good people, it just seemed like you've always known them. Like, it's almost like, ancestral, you know? Like, you've been knowing this person for a long time. But he was like, you know, sometimes men need, like, a little nudge. And I told the nigga that, right? I was like, yeah. I told my homeboy. My homeboy that I was dating a younger man. And, like, I really was not trying to pressure him about marriage and shit like that, because I still want him to do all the things, you know what I'm saying, with or without me. And he was like, it don't matter.

[Tam Bam]

That.

[AJ Holiday]

That don't matter. Shit. Still, some. Sometimes men need a little bit. Need a little push. So I told him that. He was like, all right, go ahead. Listen to your homeboy. So I'm like, what you saying? If I push you? I'm like, I'm gonna push you out the door type shit. If I.

[Tam Bam]

That can happen. I mean.

[AJ Holiday]

And at this point, I really don't care. So if I were to, like, really, like, listen, because I have. He has to consider me the same way I have to consider him. So if me, like, wanting these things, like, push you away, then maybe we're not supposed to be together.

[Tam Bam]

So let me Ask you this if you're with someone who's making you happy, providing you with a good life, like. Like, basically changing your life or the positive. But they say they don't want to be a husband ever. And that's something that you want.

[AJ Holiday]

Some days. Some days I don't know that I want to be somebody's wife. Some days I don't know if I want to cohabitate with somebody every fudgeing day. Like, long distances might be for the Gemini. Okay, I get it.

[Tam Bam]

I like. I like where we're not in the same space. Honestly.

[AJ Holiday]

Kiki Palmer, just recently, she was on the Breakfast Club. I saw her on something else, and she was saying, like, I could be with a man. A man is nice.

[Tam Bam]

But I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't never. I mean, he can live across the way or something. You know how she talk. But I don't ever want him in the house. Like, I feel like a lot of women, like, it is hard cohabitating with another person.

[Tam Bam]

I agree.

[AJ Holiday]

Let alone a man.

[Tam Bam]

My last relationship lasted as long as it did. Cause that nigga was deployed six months out the year.

[AJ Holiday]

You ain't even know him. He didn't even know him. Like, who?

[Tam Bam]

I don't. So he was gone half the year, most years. And it was like, it gave me a chance to miss him, miss him and just spend time with myself. So it was just like, the blessing. And I just think, like, that would be ideal for me. A nigga gone six months out the year.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, I'm all in love, but this nigga lives in motherfucking in. In Jersey. So what if we were actually living in the same house together? Am I going to still love him the same?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Or is this what we talking about? The ebbs and flows and shit?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's the Es and flow.

[AJ Holiday]

I feel like when you living with somebody, you have to. You have to be super considerate of the other person. Men are just not considerate of their housemate.

[Tam Bam]

And we used to live. Our apartment was. We were living in Florida, and our apartment was so tiny. It was like the smallest little apartment, but it was, like, on the beach. And it was very nice, but it was so small. And I swear, like, I remember, like, now this nigga is getting sent to war, and I'm like, when does the war start?

[AJ Holiday]

Cause I'm ready for this nigga to go.

[Tam Bam]

This nigga farted, and I could smell it in the kitchen. That's how small the apartment was. He was sitting in the living room. I could smell His I'm like, it's the war today. And that's just awful that you want to send a nigga off to fight.

[AJ Holiday]

Get him to fuck up your face.

[Tam Bam]

So I know what you saying.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I don't know if I'm ever get over this demon. I don't know. I don't know. This, like, this single demon.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

Because it is tough cohabitating. That is one of the things that my last relationship. And because I know it's possible for a man to be just like me because I've had it before, but then it come. That person then comes with some other shit. So I could have somebody that washed just as much as me, that. That cleans up behind theyself.

[Tam Bam]

But he's a degenerate gambler, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Or he just a maniac that's like. Or. I don't know, Amira. You know, I have to consider the things, like, maybe he just. I'm a maniac in one way. He might have been a maniac in another way.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. But, yeah, like, this relationship shit is hard.

[Tam Bam]

It's very hard, but it's beautiful. I wouldn't trade it. You know how they say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? That shit is so true. I would not trade never having anyone like this. Ten years of being, like, for real single and then, like, meeting somebody that I actually really feel like I could be in alignment with for the first time in a long time. It's beautiful and it's very new. And I know that I have a lot of, like. Cause being single for 10 years and then trying to, like, date somebody for real is hard. Cause I have to.

[AJ Holiday]

We ain't even talking about living together.

[Tam Bam]

She thought it was just dating. Just dating is just different because I have to consider another person in a different way for the first time in a long time, you know? So I just been out here doing what I want. I sit with my phone like that. Who gonna say to who gonna check me? But I still have to, like.

[AJ Holiday]

I flip my phone on everybody.

[Tam Bam]

I have to navigate my life now in a different way. And I have to, like. Because, I mean, it's very new. So I have to, like, get rid of some people and change some things and navigate some things, so. Because, I mean, we're not together yet, so still. It's still like. But I could see it going that way, you know? So we're gonna see what happened, y'. All. Let's Y' all pray for me, okay?

[AJ Holiday]

Happy Valentine.

[Tam Bam]

Happy Valentine.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm excited to hear about your Valentine.

[Tam Bam]

I can't wait to tell y' all about it, because I feel like it's going to be special, I think. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

He going ask you to be his girlfriend on Valentine, I hope. All right, that's enough about love.

[Tam Bam]

What you want to do now? This the last.

[AJ Holiday]

Last. Yeah, that's it.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah. I feel like we talked a while.

[AJ Holiday]

Do what feels nice. Do what feels natural. Show up for your person, be honest with yourself first and foremost, and have a very good time doing all the things.

[Tam Bam]

Amen. That's good. No, that's good. That's good. Co host. All right, so here's my.

[AJ Holiday]

Go ahead, co host.

[Tam Bam]

The best love is self love, right? So before I could even have a good Valentine and be focused on the next person, I had to love Tammy. And I think 2025 was a year that I one got whooped. I got beat up by circumstances and the environment and all these things, and I had to practice a new level of loving myself, which put me in a better position to love someone else. So that's a word. That's a bar right there. So if you are single and you're not with anyone this year for Valentine's Day, it's okay. Just love on yourself this year, because it's coming. The more you pour into yourself, the more the love you're going to attract it to yourself.

[AJ Holiday]

Hey, so yes, yes, we back. You are deserving.

[Tam Bam]

Amen.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. Period.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Let the church say. Let me talk back.

[Tam Bam]

Say, clock it. All right, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

So if you enjoyed this episode, this lover girl episode, y' all tune in every day on iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram's Kick it Tam.

[Tam Bam]

Cause she said every day. It's every Thursday, but we got enough episodes out for you to listen every day right now.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, we need them downloads, so go ahead. Every day, every day. New episodes every Thursday.

[Tam Bam]

I'm official Tam. Bam on Instagram, y'. All. Follow me there. Follow. We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. Send us your dumbish stories. We love y'. All. We love y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All. Remember, speak now and never hold your love.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I love it. Deuces.

[AJ Holiday]

We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is an I heart podcast.

[Tam Bam]

Guaranteed human.