Satisfyer Pro II feat. Chantelle Chevon

Summary

Podcast Summary: We Talk Back Episode: Satisfyer Pro II feat. Chantelle Chevon Release Date: August 7, 2025

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Hosts: Tam Bam & A.J. Holiday Produced by The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

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1. Personal Updates and Weekend Recap

Tam Bam and A.J. Holiday kick off the episode by sharing personal updates and discussing their recent weekends.

• A.J. Holiday (01:16): "I'm struggling today... Hopefully by lunchtime, I'll be alright."
• They touch on topics like tax-free weekends in South Carolina, back-to-school routines, and the challenges of balancing personal life with parental responsibilities.

2. Educational System and Socialization

The hosts delve into criticisms of the American educational system, comparing it to practices in other countries.

• A.J. Holiday (02:05): "In America, I feel like we just be in school too long, period."
• Tam Bam (02:20): "Just not prepared for adulthood. Yeah, like we keep them like children too long, I think."

They discuss the extended duration of schooling in the U.S. and its impact on preparing children for adult life, emphasizing the need for better socialization skills.

3. Listener Interaction and Product Shout-Out

A heartfelt moment occurs when Tam Bam gives a shout-out to a listener who sent her a candle.

• Tam Bam (03:09): "Shout out to Gloria... She sent me my candle. I haven't lit it yet because I want to wait until I move into a new spot."

A.J. Holiday (04:10) adds humor by noting the practicality of receiving gifts like candles via mail.

4. Transition to Special Guest: Chantelle Siobhan

Chantelle Siobhan, a medium and spiritual coach, joins the conversation to discuss the intersection of spirituality and sex.

• Tam Bam (21:10): "We're going to get into spirituality and sex and how they align today."
• Chantelle Siobhan (27:04): "I've had some crazy experiences from childhood that you just couldn't explain."

The hosts address technical difficulties with Chantelle's microphone, adding a light-hearted moment to the episode.

5. Spirituality and Sexual Relationships

The core of the episode focuses on how spirituality interweaves with sexual relationships, exploring concepts like karmic lessons, soul ties, and trauma bonding.

• Chantelle Siobhan (30:26): "A karmic lover is someone that you've encountered that there's a lesson you need to learn from a previous life."
• A.J. Holiday (32:00): "I recently got out of a relationship... I feel like he might have been my son in another life."

They discuss how past traumas and karmic connections influence current relationships, emphasizing the importance of healing and self-awareness.

6. Recognizing and Managing Draining Relationships

The conversation shifts to identifying when a partner is draining energy or blocking blessings and strategies to manage such relationships.

• Chantelle Siobhan (42:50): "If someone is draining your energy, it's probably because you're draining your own energy."
• Tam Bam (43:30): "You gotta build a relationship with them. You essentially gotta be prepared to be a bonus mom."

They highlight the significance of intuition and self-care in maintaining healthy relationships, encouraging listeners to trust their instincts.

7. Self-Care, Intuition, and Rest

The hosts and their guest emphasize the importance of rest, self-care, and reconnecting with one's intuition to foster healthy relationships and personal well-being.

• Chantelle Siobhan (45:47): "A social media detox... you gotta be mindful of what you're feeding your psyche."
• Tam Bam (48:04): "So rest, that's the biggest tool."

They discuss practical tips like setting alarms for physical activity, creating calming environments, and engaging in meaningful self-reflection.

8. Product Highlight: Satisfyer Pro II

Throughout the episode, the hosts and Chantelle spotlight the Satisfyer Pro II, a clitoral stimulator designed to enhance sexual wellness.

• Tam Bam (41:06): "Remember, speak now and never hold your pussy stimulator, too."
• Chantelle Siobhan (65:50): "You can find me on Instagram at Underscore_SecretGarden and my website, asecretgarden.org."

They discuss the benefits of the product, sharing personal anecdotes and encouraging listeners to explore it for enhanced self-care.

9. Upcoming Events and Final Thoughts

The episode concludes with Chantelle Siobhan announcing upcoming retreats focused on emotional release and physical intimacy, integrating spiritual workshops and sexual wellness.

• Chantelle Siobhan (66:35): "We're gonna have a sex therapist... centered around emotional release, physical intimacy."

Tam Bam and A.J. Holiday encourage listeners to join and participate in these transformative events.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• A.J. Holiday (02:05): "In America, I feel like we just be in school too long, period."
• Chantelle Siobhan (30:26): "A karmic lover is someone that you've encountered that there's a lesson you need to learn from a previous life."
• Tam Bam (45:47): "A social media detox... you gotta be mindful of what you're feeding your psyche."
• Chantelle Siobhan (63:05): "The sooner you can deal with your trauma, the quicker you can stop aligning with men that are in that same frequency."

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Conclusion

This episode of We Talk Back offers a blend of personal anecdotes, insightful discussions on the interplay between spirituality and sex, and practical advice for fostering healthy relationships and personal well-being. With the engaging addition of Chantelle Siobhan, listeners gain a deeper understanding of how past traumas and karmic connections influence present relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-care and intuition.

For those seeking to enhance their spiritual and sexual wellness, the episode also highlights the Satisfyer Pro II, along with upcoming retreats that promise further exploration into emotional and physical intimacy.

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Connect with the Hosts:

• A.J. Holiday 2.0: Instagram
• Tam Bam: Instagram

Follow Chantelle Siobhan:

• Instagram: @Underscore_SecretGarden
• Website: asecretgarden.org

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This summary captures the essence and key discussions of the "Satisfyer Pro II feat. Chantelle Chevon" episode of We Talk Back. For the full experience, tune in to the podcast on your preferred platform.

Transcript

[A.J. Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Carlos Miller]

Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Just kidding. I am the boss. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. And building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or even making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com welcome to We.

[A.J. Holiday]

Talk Back Podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.

[A.J. Holiday]

What's up, y'?

[Tam Bam]

All?

[A.J. Holiday]

It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam, y'?

[Tam Bam]

All. It's Tam Bam. I love y' all so much. Happy August. How you doing, aj?

[A.J. Holiday]

Ah, do I need to do the rundown again? Okay, everybody, I'm struggling today, y'. All. I'm getting it together.

[Tam Bam]

Hopefully. Hopefully by.

[A.J. Holiday]

By lunchtime, I'll be all right.

[Tam Bam]

But how's your weekend?

[A.J. Holiday]

I didn't do much this weekend. You know, it was tax free weekend in South Carolina, so I did take advantage of some. A little bit of shopping and shit. And, you know, you could have shopped online too, for tax free. I don't know if y' all know that or not.

[Tam Bam]

No, I didn't know that. Yeah, this time, like, I see the kids are back in school already.

[A.J. Holiday]

I think here in Charleston, they don't go back until the 13th, so they're not back in school yet. I only had the buses and running. I still hear they ass outside in the morning.

[Tam Bam]

Some people are back. Some of these students are back, and I was like, God damn, they must be in the slow classes. They got to go back earlier.

[A.J. Holiday]

It seemed like we used to go to school damn near September or some shit. I feel like we have more breaks from school, too.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, me too. I don't know.

[A.J. Holiday]

In America, I feel like we just be in school too long, period. Like in other countries, children start their life at 16 and shit. Like, they be out of school. Like, we already in school too long and we don't have as much breaks and we still learning less and they.

[Tam Bam]

Just not prepared for adulthood. Yeah, like, we keep them like children too long, I think. I'm not a mom.

[A.J. Holiday]

One of my guy friends, he was saying how him and his wife held their son back. Like, he had the opportunity to go skip two grades. And they didn't think he was ready to be around kids of that age group. And I'm like, why would y' all do that?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, he will get acclimated. That's actually gonna help him. You know what I'm saying? I'm never holding my kid back, man. The sooner I can get they ass up outta, like, having to go to school where I don't have to go to jail about it. Cause I think I'm gonna do homeschooling, though. I don't think my kid's gonna be going to school anyway. Or maybe high school. They'll probably go, but I don't know. I think we are responsible for our kids education. You can't trust kids.

[Tam Bam]

It's weird as hell. Shout out to homeschool kids. Y' all weirdos. I love y', all, but y' all know y' all be weird. I think grown something about the socialization don't happen.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's why I said high school. Right. So, yeah, maybe they'll get. You do miss out on, like, the social part of being around other students. Yeah. So you have no social skills. Like, they do be, like, socially awkward.

[Tam Bam]

First of all, these kids already socially awkward, you know, whether they go to school or not.

[A.J. Holiday]

Shame.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, I want to give a special shout out because y' all remember that candle that I beg AJ for? 1 of the listeners of the show was like, got tired of hearing me talk about it, so she sent it to me, y'.

[A.J. Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

Gloriac7707 on Instagram, y'. All. Yeah, follow her on TikTok. She told me to tell y' all to follow her. She's Ivy Glow official. Thank you so much, Gloria, for sending me my candle. I haven't lit it yet because I want to wait until I move into a new spot. But I love it. It's so. And it ain't that heavy, aj.

[A.J. Holiday]

I didn't never say it was heavy. What I said was, yes. Carrying it upstairs along with all the other shit I be having from Costco and having it in my car. I didn't want it to melt, so having somebody mail it to you, you know, that's even great. I do want to thank you, Gloria, for pulling up with the candle because I get to save my forty dollar coins.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. Appreciate it. Well, shout out to Gloria. I appreciate you, girl. Thank you so much for sending me my candle. I can't wait to light it. I'm leaving New York. I'm leaving New York. I don't know where I'm going yet.

[A.J. Holiday]

Why?

[Tam Bam]

You must love New York. It's just expensive. And I'm not. I'm taking classes virtually. So it's just like if I don't have to physically be there, I don't need to physically be there, you know? So, yeah, I think I might pivot to the eighth.

[A.J. Holiday]

Might as well, girl. Might as well. Let's get into sins, man. Oh, wait, did you do anything this weekend aside from leaving New York?

[Tam Bam]

Okay, all right, great.

[A.J. Holiday]

We had an uneventful weekend, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right, so let's get into s. I saw this article, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[A.J. Holiday]

I follow some weird ass accounts on Instagram. Like it's always like giving these little weird studies that I have to go Google to see if it's true or not. I don't know if it's satire half the time or not, but this one I realized that I might identify as a koala. So it says new. It says when koalas fail to find the right partner, they give up and go back to sleep. It says koalas may look adorable, but their love life doesn't always go as planned. When mating season arrives, male koalas call out to find a partner. But if no one responds, they don't waste energy chasing. Instead, they simply give up and go back to sleep. A surprisingly mellow way to handle rejection given that koalas already snooze for about 20 hours a day. Even a heartbreak isn't enough to mess with their nap schedule. Nature's ultimate try again tomorrow. Energy.

[Tam Bam]

You know that's right.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm not a man.

[Tam Bam]

Stand on your inner koala and be like, fuck it, I'm going to lay.

[A.J. Holiday]

Down right, because y' all going to sleep. And I keep saying I'm making these T shirts that say I love to lay down. Like, you stay out of trouble and you don't spend no money, you know, unless you like responsible like Tammy them with auto draft shit. You won't spend no money if you sleep first out of trouble. You gotta spend no money either way.

[Tam Bam]

So you might as well just let them take it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Girl. Okay, but I still want control. I don't want that nobody to have that much control over me.

[Tam Bam]

No, listen, just take it. I don't care. Just take it. It's a nuisance having to worry about it when I can just have you. Just the people who can turn shit off, that's who can just take they money.

[A.J. Holiday]

Y'.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

All.

[A.J. Holiday]

Some adults I Don't even have my light bill on. No. Goddamn. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. So yeah, I identify as a koala. If ain't going well, I'm in the house hibernating 20 hours a day. Yes, bitch. Okay, we can't find a mate, go lay down.

[Tam Bam]

See, I'm the opposite. I need to be outside. After three hours of being inside, I feel like I wasted my life. Let me get up and do something with anxiety. All right, So I saw this over the weekend. There are now 95,000 people in Japan who are more than 100 years old. So as of September 2024, officials record records show that 95,119 sanitarians across the country, women make up the vast majority, account for nearly 88% of that total. That's crazy. This study reflects Japan's high life expectancy and continued investments in healthcare and living standards. So I went and did a deeper dive in that to see if I needed to move to Japan. But it's their diet. When they eat like lots of vegetables, lots of fermented foods and they have a lot of anti inflammatory, their diet is like very anti inflammatory. Then they also prioritize rest over.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Work.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Then they also, we know Americans dying early every time then because we take the least amount of vacations, it's then.

[Tam Bam]

They also prioritize community. So they got homegirls, they got friends that they do stuff with all the time. Like they go on walks together every morning, they garden together. Oh, and that's another thing. They get up and they do mobility exercises in the morning. And I think that's another thing that we could add to our lifestyle is you know, you gotta do mobility exercise, not just walking, but like your joints limber and lean.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know what I started doing? So I got it set up on my cell phone right now, but I think I'm set it up on my calendar on my damn computer. So every 45 minutes get up and do 10 squats.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that's good.

[A.J. Holiday]

They said it's equivalent to the 10,000 steps a day. Oh, I haven't seen that now because I don't be having my watch running and I don't have an Apple watch. This is just like a fitness watch. You got to start it, you know, when you start your workout to actually track. But yeah, and I mean that's going to get the ass tooted and all the things too. So 10 squats every 45 minutes throughout the day.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's not bad actually. No shit, no.

[A.J. Holiday]

And then, and then I also, I Saw another study that did say, like, homegirls me saving your life. Like, if you have a steady set of friends that you communicate with, it helps with heart disease. Close friends decrease heart disease by 30% in women. If you have at least three close friends you communicate with, get you some girlfriends, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, y' all bitches think y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm tired of g. Those type of bitches weird me out.

[Tam Bam]

I don't even know nobody who say that no more.

[A.J. Holiday]

This big girl, I still hear people say that. Like, why? Why you don't have no friends and why you only hang out with men.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's weird. Hope.

[A.J. Holiday]

Get you some girlfriends, man. It's good for the ecosystem.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, live longer, eat better, do your mobility stretches. Do 10 squats every. Every 45 minutes is hard to keep up with though, for me.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's why you gotta set an alarm. And when alarm go off, you just hop up and do it right quick. It only take 10 seconds.

[Tam Bam]

Busting out 10 squads. What the fuck wrong with her?

[A.J. Holiday]

If your ass in target longer than 45 minutes anyway, and you budgeting you in trouble anyway, get your ass out of Target. I'd be spending 100 to 200 every week.

[Tam Bam]

I thought we was.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yes.

[A.J. Holiday]

I never left Target. I'm confused why we would boycott Target when the majority of the workers in Target are black people. Oftentimes like so. And then also they do have a lot of black products in Target. I just never understood that boycott anyway.

[Tam Bam]

Well, do your 10 squats every 45 minutes. You guys, I'm gonna start. I'm gonna do it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Mm. It's good. Okay, so I do. I saw Dr. Bryant on a podcast. Y' all know Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. She be doing her rounds of all the podcasts, talking heavy shit, and the men usually be in uproar to me. She never says anything that really doesn't make sense. I've heard a couple little things, but for the most part, I mean, it's like common sense things to me. But she was on this show the Truth After Dark, and she was saying the. The host asked her if she would date a man with children. Now this is a 40 something year old woman with no kids, never been married, right? And we know in that age group it's going to be kind of tough to find somebody your age with no kids, never been married. Also, like, right. If that's the type of mate she's looking for. But she says some shit. She said no, she wouldn't date a man with children because that's Essentially polyamory. And she is not signing up for that. And as a woman who has dated the most of men, most of the men I have dated have had children, like, and I had to have. Get in where I fit in. Like, nowadays, I don't want that because it is essentially polyamory. Like, you have to be okay with this person showing up for this other woman and the children when he needs to. Right. Who am I? I mean, I feel like kids need to. And I'm so understanding. Right. I feel like kids still need to see their parents. Even though the parents aren't together. They need to see the parents happy, communicating, maybe even doing stuff with the kids. So I'm never going to be like, oh, you can't go to your baby mama house. I'm never going to be like that. So essentially you are signing up for polyamory, like a polyamorous relationship.

[Tam Bam]

But once you get to a certain age, it's almost like hard to. I mean, the pick is already slim. And if you take out men who have kids, girl, good luck.

[A.J. Holiday]

I mean, you might have to. The same way men go younger, but oftentimes men already have families. Right. And then they want a younger woman. I think a lot of times, like, older are. I'm gonna say older because I'm not older.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

Sometimes, I mean, we may not have any kids, so why we. We might need to go younger to get a man with no kids.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I agree. All right, listen, I go younger anyway, so is there no kids?

[A.J. Holiday]

Grown ass man. So, yeah, I don't disagree with her on that. That you definitely are signing up for a threesome. Foursome. Five, some six, depending on how many kids involved, how many baby mamas involved.

[Tam Bam]

You gotta build a relationship with them. You essentially gotta be prepared to a bonus mom.

[A.J. Holiday]

Be a mom.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. So.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, I miss my ex's kids. You know what I'm saying? Like, when you start, like, you have these little people in your life and then now they just gone. I'm just gone too. But I don't know. I'm pretty sure they've gotten over me, but I miss them, you know, So I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

That's the hardest part about building or having a relationship with the kids. Because when you lead a man, you gotta lead the kids too.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly. Y', all, I've been checking my conception calendar, and if I want a Gemini next year, I gotta be smashing the last week of August into the first week of September. And I gotta be ovulating to duh. The science and the Math of.

[Tam Bam]

So that's what you on right now? Yeah, I ain't mad at that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Hopefully. I don't know if the nigga on it, though. That's the problem, bitch. I'm on it, and I gotta run it past him.

[Tam Bam]

Well, he listened to the show, so just send him his episode.

[A.J. Holiday]

Are you okay with that?

[Tam Bam]

My n. Well, I'm just trying to make sure I can get to Ghana for New Year's. I'm gonna go. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Are you going this year? I want to go. One year.

[Tam Bam]

I want to go. I don't know. That's my plan for this year.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't want to have to get vaccinated.

[Tam Bam]

Me neither. That's the thing. I don't want to take. No, I don't think none of that.

[A.J. Holiday]

I heard. I heard there's some tricky doctors in the US That'll, you know, get you some paperwork. I heard.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

If y' all listen to the show, y' all can help me get to Ghana. Send me a DM I. With you. I see you a little. Couple dollars, greasy palm or whatever you need, Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

We need vax cards. Yeah. Because I don't want to have to. I mean, I've heard horror stories, but I also know people who be outside, and they be okay. So I don't know. I just feel like I'm always be okay, and if I'm not, I mean, it's just what's supposed to happen. You can't live.

[Tam Bam]

That's how I talked about that.

[A.J. Holiday]

In fear. Y' all trust God or not.

[Tam Bam]

Try to pressure me into getting it.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And then.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, y', all, I was sitting outside the center, and I did not want to go in. I was already late for the appointment. I was just sitting outside, and AJ Was on the phone. She's like, where you at? I was like, I'm outside the vaccination. She's like, drive off. And that's all I needed to hear.

[A.J. Holiday]

We organic out this motherfucker. Nobody who got. Who didn't get vaccinated regrets it. Nobody. Nobody regrets it. But I. You know, there's some horror stories out there, man, but there is a way to detox. Because this thing supposedly put, like, a bunch of heavy metals in your body. There's a way to detox everything. Your body is supposed to be able to heal, and that is the best immunity you can have, right? To get your. Those people in Japan, they got good gut health. That's all that is. Eating all that fermented shit. Girl, you just blowing your nose.

[Tam Bam]

I'm so mute.

[A.J. Holiday]

My.

[Tam Bam]

Sorry. While we talking about not having diseases, I slept under the fan blowing hard. Anyway.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

All right, I got one more scan. I know we need to be done, but I got one more thing, y'. All. They say it's a UFO coming our way. And it's seven miles long and it's the side that. Where's it coming to space debris. But scientists are thinking it's really a UFO and it's supposed to. And it's headed toward Earth and it's supposed to reach us by October. I hope that come. Where's it going to, though, huh?

[A.J. Holiday]

What? What?

[Tam Bam]

I'm tired. I'm tired of the same old meat. Every. It's this same old meat over again, over and again. I hope they bring a new type of meat like.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like some type of alien that got.

[Tam Bam]

The seasoning already in it.

[A.J. Holiday]

I cannot wait for humans to get little and animals to get big and be eating us. Y' all niggas need to. Y' all, come on, man. You do not need, like a new meat. If you tired of the current meat, stop eating it.

[Tam Bam]

I. Listen, I gave up pork last week for my. Yesterday, my new nigga said, he. He don't want me eating no pork, so I gave it up. But yeah, nobody want to eat no pork.

[A.J. Holiday]

Pussy.

[Tam Bam]

Ain't nobody ever had no problem with it before. But he said because you was.

[A.J. Holiday]

You was with meat eaters. Now you got what, like a. A clean God, okay? And he.

[Tam Bam]

So I gave up pork. And listen, soon as I gave it, the devil is busy because I gave up pork. And the pepperoni pizza slid through here and I was like, oh, my God. I was like. I was sniffing it like, not my mama biscuits. No mama mama biscuits.

[A.J. Holiday]

But I ain't eat it very hungry. Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't miss that. The only thing I miss is my barbecue. I used to make these good ass barbecue wings that would marinate for like a whole day. Like jerk barbecue on the grill. Yes. That's the only thing I miss. My own. I just. The only thing I have a problem with is, like, finding food. I really can't. Like, you be doordashing doing all the things. I can't do none of that. Cause it's going to be trash that comes. It's not like I can't get a good burger or some good wings, some quick shit. I can't. I got to cook for the most part, which isn't a bad thing because there's a lot of trash in restaurants Anyway, that's true.

[Tam Bam]

Anyway, so if the aliens come, I do hope they bring like.

[A.J. Holiday]

An octopus.

[Tam Bam]

A ham. But it's a. It's not. It's a whole mixed together that busting them ham chops.

[A.J. Holiday]

Them ham chops. That's some fat, man. Straight foolishness, man. All right, y', all, so we got a fun episode lined up for this week. We. We have Chantelle Siobhan on. We talk back this weekend, y'. All. I found out she's my cousin, okay. Just because she's from Charleston. But she's. She's a medium. She does all the fun magic shit, right? I call everything magic. Just things that you can't.

[Tam Bam]

But we're talking more about spirituality and sex and how they align today. So we're going to get into that and we gonna get y' all the pussy pro, the pussy stimulator pro 7000. We gonna get y' all the link to that. So y' all stay tuned. We'll be back.

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[A.J. Holiday]

Y' all know we don't be having shit on these, right? Like sometimes, but not today. Anyway.

[Tam Bam]

It's very rare. Sometimes it's just like this.

[A.J. Holiday]

But no, we do be. You got shit upside down. There you go. Anyway, okay. So y' all know, huh?

[Tam Bam]

It's a fan today. That's what I thought. Y' all have. All right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Y' all know, okay. We love all things spirituality, right? Like tarot, reiki, yoga, magic. I like magic. And occasionally we have to have a little tapped in baddie when we talk back. And today's guest is Doing all the things. So welcome to We Talk Back. Chantelle. It's my cousin, y'. All, I didn't know it until she got here.

[Tam Bam]

They ain't related. Hell, they the same person. They not even cousins. They.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You said my name. Really appreciate it. Oh, how people be saying it, Chantel. Oh, I don't know where the U came in, but.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, Chantal. Chantel.

[Tam Bam]

So, y', all, I asked her what she didn't want to talk about, and she shared. I was like, okay, because we don't want to get you slapped like. Chantelle on. What's that?

[A.J. Holiday]

Basketball wise.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you'll be the second Chantel getting slapped this week.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

By who?

[Tam Bam]

Her parents? Damn.

[A.J. Holiday]

You see, Look. You see how intuitive I am? The conversation we had as soon as you got up in here, child, about the parents. Yeah, we love y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. So I want to get into it. I want to talk. All right, first of all, let's talk about you a little bit before I start asking you questions about fucking. All right, so, yo, because that's where the conversation is headed, right? I want to talk about, like, sex and spirituality and how that shit, you know, goes together. But let's get to know you a little bit. Like, tell us about you and, like, how you got involved in this arena.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And all those things. Yeah, so, I mean, I've always been intuitive. I've had some crazy experiences from childhood that you just could. Couldn't explain.

[A.J. Holiday]

Hold on.

[Tam Bam]

Because you don't sound, you know.

[A.J. Holiday]

Talk louder.

[Tam Bam]

Bring that mic closer.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, all of us look kind of low.

[Tam Bam]

Test. Hello. No, that don't look good. Hello.

[A.J. Holiday]

Stop talking.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And then hello.

[A.J. Holiday]

So I can just see the one like, hello. Talk. Like.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Is that not loud enough?

[Tam Bam]

But are you like a soft spoken person? Not kind of. I mean, okay, so. No, no, just be yourself. Turn her up.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, testing. Okay, go ahead, test yours.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Does it feel. Is it better now?

[Tam Bam]

Girl, it look low.

[A.J. Holiday]

She sound. Cuz this girl is nuts. She's like, girl, you up here trying to seduce us. What episode is this?

[Tam Bam]

Hold on, let me find out. Try to.

[A.J. Holiday]

Testing, testing, testing. Go ahead, Chantel.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Can you hear me now?

[A.J. Holiday]

You gotta talk for me to hear you.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Well, I don't know what to say.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm just.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Testing, testing, testing. Mic check, mic check. One, two.

[A.J. Holiday]

Girl, come. Testing, one, two, three.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Testing.

[A.J. Holiday]

One, two, three. Talk, Chantel.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Testing, one, two, Three. Testing, one, two, 3.

[Tam Bam]

Look how little them dots is.

[A.J. Holiday]

Go ahead, Sammy.

[Tam Bam]

Look how little them damn dots is when Chantelle talk.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You said the heat. Oh.

[Tam Bam]

All right, let me pull this back up. All right. Are you. You're not rolling?

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

All right, before I want you to tell us about yourself, but before you tell us, we gotta take a shot.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Okay.

[Tam Bam]

We have a new sponsor, everybody. Ray Alibre. It's a female black owned tequila brand out of Atlanta. And we're gonna take some of the peach margarita shot. So y', all, let's get into it. Really good. It's really bit.

[A.J. Holiday]

I cannot like. I. I cannot thinking like this.

[Tam Bam]

Cheers to magic. Magic. Cheers.

[A.J. Holiday]

Black girl. Magic. Excuse me, Gold girl. I love black.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Oh, it's out.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's a good one, right?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

That is really good.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's a good one.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

I thought you said taking a shot.

[A.J. Holiday]

They did a big one with that.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And you just sipped it.

[Tam Bam]

We got four episodes and we doing one. We doing them every episode. So we got to.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Might be a little lightweight.

[Tam Bam]

It's okay. All right, so tell us about you.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

So, yeah. So I grew up in Charleston, and if you know anything about the low country, there's a lot of activity going on there. So I've had a lot of spiritual occurrences. And then as I got older, I randomly ran into some mediums and some of them became my mentors. Different cities that I moved to, it was just very serendipitous how I would meet them, and they taught me how to tap into my gifts. And so I started my business in 2017 and I've been doing readings ever since. And I opened up my studio two years ago. And so now I help people connect with loved ones that have passed. I helped them with their inner childhood trauma, things that have happened in their childhood to adolescence. And I use that with my gifts and then just spiritual coaching.

[Tam Bam]

So have you ever ran into somebody, grandma, that was like real nasty and bad?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Well, you know, I wouldn't say nasty, but. Because when you. When you cross over, you go back to your true form, but they show up in the way that you remember them. So if. If you're a bit hard headed and you haven't been listening because, you know, our guides, our ancestors send us signs all the time. So when you come in for a session, I've had some grandmothers and even.

[Tam Bam]

Grandfathers come in talking shit.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Heavy.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yes.

[A.J. Holiday]

Didn't I tell you to stop you.

[Tam Bam]

Spending your rent money? You getting evicted?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Oh, my God, that's.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, well, I saw some the other day and somebody was saying that I have 48 leases. How the you done live 48 different places.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

What?

[Tam Bam]

In life?

[A.J. Holiday]

In life.

[Tam Bam]

Crazy.

[A.J. Holiday]

I think it was on 85 south were they evicted. I don't know. But that is unstable creature.

[Tam Bam]

Right? That's crazy.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

So.

[Tam Bam]

So, all right, I want to talk about the intersection between spirituality and sex.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

So we had an episode recently called Dixiplein, and we didn't really get into, like, the bond, right. The soul ties that you might create with the people you engage with sexually. We talk about sexually transmitted demons on this show also. Like, shit is shit's thrill.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Right. So talk to us about what that intersection looks like when you. The spirituality aspect of sex.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

I hate to say this, but I would say most of us are walking red flags. So we think we can compartmentalize sex where, oh, it's just something I do. But a lot of trauma bonding. You are completely unaware of why you do the things you do, why you choose sexual partners. And it's really, really hard to disconnect from that. And the way you can figure that out is through grief and through healing. So when you're somebody may be a karmic lesson, and they're only here to teach you this lesson. And then the relationship ends when that lesson is learned. But then you keep getting into other karmic patterns because you learned the lesson from that person, but you didn't realize you're the common denominator. And so this is why you're attracting that. And then karmic lessons can turn into soul ties. They can turn into trauma bonding.

[Tam Bam]

So, all right, so explain what a karmic lesson is, because I don't know what that means.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

So a karmic lover is someone that you've encountered that there's a lesson you need to learn from a previous life or sometimes earlier in this life. And it can feel really invigorating. It could feel really good in the beginning, but then it quickly goes left. But then what do we do? We try to justify and explain. Explain their actions. And so you get in this tumultuous relationship because the person, it is going to be toxic because they are trying to teach you this lesson. But then that's. So that's a karmic lover. It turns into a soul tie when you develop emotional intimacy or physical intimacy. That's why I say being really cautious of who you choose to take to bed with, because your physical intimacy, then it turns into, why can't I let this person go? There's an energetic tie there. And even. And a soul tie doesn't have to be someone that you're intimate with. It can be a friend, it could be an enemy. But you've developed that Bond based off of your emotional connection and your physical connection. So it could be years after you've been with that person that you still think about them. It doesn't mean you can't move on, but there's going to be that lingering thought and then your trauma bond. That's purely psychological. So this is your inner child. Your inner child is picking partners, trying to heal what happened to you. And it can be small. When people use the word trauma, like, it's. It has to be something catastrophic. It doesn't have to be. But. So, yeah, damn.

[Tam Bam]

I'm just thinking about my past situations that she's explaining it. I was like, trauma bond. Trauma bond. Trauma. He.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Trauma bond a lot.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I recently got out of a relationship. Right. And I know that the relationship with this person transcends this lifetime. Like, I know. I feel like he might have been my son in another life.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, that's like. Because I feel like, you know, when you meet people. Sorry, I say I feel like a lot. It's my opinion, when you meet people, it's the same people over and over throughout different lives. Like, different lives.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

So me and Tammy probably knew each other in another life, in a different.

[Tam Bam]

We fought in that one.

[A.J. Holiday]

We could fight in this one. There's that part. Sometimes I want to. You know what I'm saying?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

That might be some karmic debt y' all don't clear up.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. Do it for.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know. Hold on. Side note, sidebar. I've been wanting to do. When I lived in St. Louis, we used. They used to have this spot that did mud fighting.

[Tam Bam]

I ain't getting in no mud.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not my hair, girl.

[Tam Bam]

I. Oh, you know, they got those new. Those new black swim caps. That's big for big hair.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

They do.

[A.J. Holiday]

The mud is good for your skin. Like, we could use, like, red clay.

[Tam Bam]

So you want to roll around in mud with me?

[A.J. Holiday]

We gonna get a bag. We gonna fight.

[Tam Bam]

Let's do it. She or.

[A.J. Holiday]

I mean, it could be like a weekly thing. Like, have weekly. Yeah. Come. Mud fight. Man, these was making money on mud fighting in St. Louis. Like, the girls was coming to fight in the mud, and they was really wrestling. Yes, I want to do it.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. As long as I could put something on my hair, because this. This was expensive. I can't get no more than that. But outside of that, I might wrestle your ass. I'll put you in a mud chokehold. All right, hold on. I'm sorry.

[A.J. Holiday]

So anyway, I feel like, you know, he might have been. I definitely. You know, when you be with somebody for a while, I start looking alike, all type of shit. Like, I had to dump him in this lifetime, right? Because I never did before. You see what I'm saying? So I feel like some type of relief because any. Like, we've never actually broken up, even though we've had. I've had different relationships. He was in prison, right, For a long time.

[Tam Bam]

So the judge broke y' all up.

[A.J. Holiday]

So the courts was breaking us out. Like the feds had broken us up for a very long time. So I never actually broke up with him. So, like, I felt like I've severed, like. Cause when you date somebody, they are an aspect of who you are.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

They are.

[A.J. Holiday]

He said this in another episode. Like, when you trying to get rid of that part of you, you gotta cut those people off. And then I think it's also like a next level you're going to get to.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

It is a nut level. But then when you get rid of them, they're also a mirror to you as well. So they're revealing to you something about yourself that you feel is inadequate or something that brings out the best in you. So that's how when people repeat those cycles, they mean, oh, I ended this. But then they kind of disassociate. They put the blame solely on the other person. But it really. I mean, it takes to tangle you, especially if you keep running into these same scenarios. You're the common denominator in your situation. And it's not to say that to make you feel shameful or place blame, but to realize how much power you actually do have and that every person that you attract in your life, it's not a coincidence.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. You hitting home with that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, I don't ever run into the same type of person. It's always different. Bullshit.

[Tam Bam]

You know, I think I run into a very, very loving, giving, unavailable people every time.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

So what about you is emotionally unavailable?

[Tam Bam]

But here's the thing that's. I be fucking dating myself. But why am I. I'm available but unavailable at the same time. And I just don't know. I can't put my finger on why.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Well, that's your trauma bond. I had the same issue too, where if you. Well, I think a lot of people do. You're not listening to yourself. When. How do you feel when you're engaging someone or just even you're collecting data, like, how do you want to be experienced? And how do you want a man to experience? Experience you. And oftentimes we'll chalk up, well, he's a Good guy. So this is why I should keep talking to him. But something intrinsic or you have that feeling like something is off. And we're always looking for evidence to support our intuition rather than trusting our intuition as the evidence.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what I was talking about.

[Tam Bam]

I'm just thinking about all these past situations, and it's very similar. Like, I've been feeling like a hamster on a wheel running. So it's.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Maybe you can sit with your feelings of. If you can think about a memory from childhood. And you may think it's insignificant, but I promise you it's not. Especially when you're from, like, kindergarten to fifth grade, you don't have a ton of memories, but the ones you do, that's consciously playing or subconsciously playing because it's trying to heal that wound that you're completely unaware of. So on the surface level, you know, you're emotionally unavailable. So, like, okay, I attract emotionally unavailable men. But that's very. Surface level, when you get. When you really sit with your feelings, it's gonna bring you back to certain memories that you've had in your childhood, and then it's gonna unlock other things. Like, oh, this is. This is where. The birthplace of where this started from. I felt like I had to protect myself. So while I'm not gonna be emotionally available, I can look at sex as a transaction. And I think that I'm disassociated, but I'm not, because now I'm attached to this person, because I can't vocalize how I'm really feeling, But I'm my body to do that. And your issues are in your tissues, especially your womb. That is a very sacred part of your body. And so you neglected that when you're neglecting yourself, even if you use a condom. Yes, yes. Girl, I think of sex as a ritual.

[Tam Bam]

I think it's not really sex with a condom. No, it's not. That's what AJ Say.

[A.J. Holiday]

Long come, it don't count.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And, you know, even that is a generational. If you think about your. Your mother, your grandmother's. How many. 75% of women have never had a vaginal orgasm.

[A.J. Holiday]

Girl, I talked. I talked about this before because I had an old lady living with me. She was 83 years old when I met her, right? And we would have conversations about all type of shit, and just. We would have. We had conversations about sex before. And the way she would talk about, like, moments in her life when she was intimate, it just never sounded pleasure for a woman.

[Tam Bam]

Like, he just get on top of me and do his business.

[A.J. Holiday]

Female or orgasm is like a new age thing. Like, men didn't give a if we were coming in on at some point.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And that is. Well, it's with both. I mean, it's miseducation and especially growing up in the south and purity culture where they're teaching girls to save their virginity for marriage, but then they're telling boys, we'll wrap it up. But they're not teaching them to value their bodies, but they're telling women, your body is sacred for your husband. So all of that, if you think about epigenetic. Epigenetics, where you were formed in your grandmother's womb. So all of that, you carry their baggage, you carry their trauma. And the only way you heal through that is through grief. And that's why a lot of us don't know. You can't even tell your partner, okay, I'm not having a vaginal orgasm. But you don't know how to fix that. You know, it's easy to have a clitoral orgasm because it's outside of you. It's not internal. So.

[Tam Bam]

And that rose will do it every time. A rose gonna get her job done.

[A.J. Holiday]

I had Detective X and I was like, yo, did you.

[Tam Bam]

Did you.

[A.J. Holiday]

Did you put my vibrators in water? Oh, imagine this. Imagine you got one vibrator that's plugged up like it's rechargeable, and then the other is operated by batteries. How does both of these. I'm in the middle of.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Oh, no, I'm in the middle of.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

And the first one, like, oh, my God, I'm scrambling. Like, I got, like a little hidden spot on the side of the magic. And I didn't realize he knew where it was, right? So then I grab the other one, and this one does the same thing.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Oh, that's.

[A.J. Holiday]

He wants me to believe he ain't do nothing to my vibrators. There's no way, like, these things operate different. And neither one of them working.

[Tam Bam]

Neither one of them working. Yeah, that was.

[A.J. Holiday]

I was fasting when this happened. I was doing. It was way over 72 hour fast. I'm like, maybe. God. Like, girl, you be doing this too much. Stop. I haven't.

[Tam Bam]

They tired. They hate to see you coming.

[A.J. Holiday]

Motherfuckers is like, I can't do no more.

[Tam Bam]

That for real.

[A.J. Holiday]

You done got your $40 out of me.

[Tam Bam]

Let that girl snort it.

[A.J. Holiday]

But I haven't went and bought another one because I just feel like I'mma get to the next level if I Stop masturbating. It's in my mind.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Like regular DJing. It doesn't. Do you ever just sometimes go the old fashioned route?

[A.J. Holiday]

That shit, man, who got time for that?

[Tam Bam]

We gotta work in the morning.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

See, that's the thing. That's the problem. See, that's what I'm talking about. She's being disconnected. It's a quick fix. You're not enjoy. You're not enjoying yourself. You're. It's like a.

[A.J. Holiday]

This bitch be dating herself.

[Tam Bam]

She be. You should like Dennis, like right by the bed.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Romanticize your life.

[Tam Bam]

Why not?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You want a man to do that? Why can't you do it for yourself?

[Tam Bam]

32 seconds. I'm asleep with the rose.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

I mean, there's already sleep for that.

[Tam Bam]

Of course.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Course. I mean, who. You know. Satisfyer Pro 2. That's. I think it's actually better than the.

[Tam Bam]

Rose, but, you know, Satisfier Pro two, y' all look that up.

[A.J. Holiday]

Those roses is too much. Y' all don't know what type of clits y' all got, cuz my cannot.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Because then you get desensitized if you do it too much.

[Tam Bam]

And I know I be vibrating all night. God damn, I can't sleep. Fall asleep with that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Fall asleep with that. Sit in your head. Wake up with it in your head.

[Tam Bam]

All right, y'. All. All right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Another question.

[Tam Bam]

All right, I'm sorry. How do you recognize when a lover is draining your energy or blocking your blessings?

[A.J. Holiday]

They always do.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Well, if the lover Draining here.

[Tam Bam]

So you think about me.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

If someone is draining your energy, it's probably because you're draining your own energy. But it's just being manifested through this person. I had a client once that came to me. She was in her early 30s and she was crying over this relationship. He was 20 years older than her when she first met the man. She's been with him for 10 years. When she first met him, she had her own business. She's very successful. And when she met him, he had his own business as well. But then she quickly realized his business wasn't doing great. So she put her business on hold to run his business. But she was in way over her head. They were in the process of having their car repossessed. Like so many things were happening and she couldn't see that it was because she was with this man. She gained like £30. She was unhappy. She just looked tired.

[A.J. Holiday]

That makes me want to cry.

[Tam Bam]

Go, listen.

[A.J. Holiday]

Go ahead.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

But no, I mean. And I.

[Tam Bam]

You've been in that space and it.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Didn'T matter what I told you, like.

[A.J. Holiday]

Literally telling you, telling me I look younger than you.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

He's.

[A.J. Holiday]

He was literally draining my life. Source. He was older than me. Not that much older, but he was looking younger. I wasn't doing my hair, I wasn't doing. Just looking crazy.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

We're life givers.

[A.J. Holiday]

Literally.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

When men have energy after they have sex with us, that's literally our body is a.

[Tam Bam]

They'd be tired after me, like going to bed.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

They be having a lot of energy. They'll get. No, they, it's. They're taken.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Because we feel like it's our job to just give and not really receive. I'm not saying all women, but most women, that's. That's how they treat sex. So if you're depleted, if you, if he's draining your energy, like how do you feel when you're with this person? Is, is your judgment clouded? If you feel like you can't even tap into your own intuition or think logically about something, that that relationship is distorted. So I think so many of us, we look to outside of ourselves and we have completely lost the connection with our own intuition. So that's why we get confused when really our, our intuition is probably our greatest power. Like, so you can prevent that in the beginning. When you first meet someone, you don't need a reason to see. Like, is this guy a bad person or should I? If your body is telling you something is off, why do you need to question it?

[A.J. Holiday]

If you got bv, he's a bad person. If you feel like you don't have no intuition, but how do you just don't know? Like you're not tapping your coochie.

[Tam Bam]

Gonna tell you. She sure will, yes she will.

[A.J. Holiday]

She manifest in bread.

[Tam Bam]

Hawaiian rose get away sour though, right? That part.

[Carlos Miller]

Hey, fam. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. If you're like me, you're always thinking about how to level up your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just starting in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long term success. They've been a steady presence in our community and they know having the right support early can make all the difference. State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know that the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's all about staying focused, staying grounded and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com.

[Tam Bam]

So are you saying like you're not connected to your intuition? How would you advise someone to reconnect to their intuition?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

For one, I think they need a social media detox because you're social media especially. And I love TikTok. Like I. That's like my TV, but it becomes an echo chamber. So you gotta be mindful of what you're feeding your psyche. Because then you. You see dialogues and people are arguing and they're like. Especially with men and women, but they're in the same frequency. So like no one's trying to hear each other. It's an echo chamber. So you really need to a detox and just kind of rest. I think that's the main thing, especially with black women. Like, you know, we're successful. We have the highest in degrees. But a lot of that is because it's a distraction. You know, we. If we're focusing on something else, we don't have the time to sit there and deal with our own things. So it doesn't have to be hard. But we don't know how to rest. How many of our mothers like or grandmothers, they're always out and about. Even when my mom retired and then two weeks later got another job, I.

[A.J. Holiday]

Just felt like the problems of my mom came up because I would rest. You know what I'm saying? She didn't like to see me just.

[Tam Bam]

Because not doing that culturally, that's not our thing. You know, our thing isn't being productive, is being busy. And we even got I N D E P. Like all the songs, everything Strong Black woman, all of it is like.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And it don't rest. It pulls you out of your softness. It pulls you out of your softness.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, I love to lay down. Like, I don't like. I don't like hustling. I don't like feeling like I got all these things to do even though I'll do them. I really got to push myself to do all the things. Like I just don't want to though same. I feel like black women are supposed to just lay down.

[Tam Bam]

Like we supposed to be resting. Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

And then. And then we can think, right? And then just create money out of thin air. Because we can think and actually make money off of things. We can create. Your woman is having to go to work all day long.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And you're in masculine energy when you're working. Right? Working is. It's a masculine energy. And of course you need both. But then we've gotten so disconnected from our femininity, our creativity, our womb that houses your creativity, it houses your feminine power. And when that's out of balance, you don't. You get into here, you think, you overthink and then you get emotional and then you don't react from like. You don't know how to respond from your emotions. You're just reacting. So you are completely disconnected.

[Tam Bam]

So rest, that's the biggest tool.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And not. And I don't mean rest like go.

[Tam Bam]

To sleep and water sleep.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yeah, it has to be like productive rest where you're getting adequate sleep, but then doing something that calms your nervous system and that's where you create something.

[Tam Bam]

So the rules, you circling back, you.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Know, you actually can use that to manifest.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, I do. I definitely be saying all type of shit when I'm about to come. Okay. I definitely use my sexual energy in that way.

[Tam Bam]

So listen, that's what I've been doing. All right? I used to think about past experiences. I'm not like a laptop girl porn. I don't like that. I use my imagination. But now I don't even think about them no more. I just think about what I want for my future.

[A.J. Holiday]

And that's really what the sexual energy is for. So that's what a lot of men be tapping into. Strippers. You fuck with a stripper, you're gonna start getting money.

[Tam Bam]

Really?

[A.J. Holiday]

That's the. That's the energy strippers come with getting money.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's very true. I feel like. So the days that I want to really like work out because I started doing hot yoga, right? I don't be messed. Well, I can't mess right now because I don't have a toy. But I think it's calling you to dj. It takes energy from you, you know what I'm saying? Like the next day when I want to masturbation. Yes. I'm so sluggish.

[Tam Bam]

That's cause you're using two toys. One night they all tied.

[A.J. Holiday]

I think this is the opportunity for.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You to DJ and get in.

[Tam Bam]

I think you might just use your hands.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yeah, I think you need to get reacquainted with yourself.

[A.J. Holiday]

That is too much.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

It's too much because we're used to too long.

[A.J. Holiday]

I gotta make sure I drink a lot of Water.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

We are in the age of social media where everything is fast.

[A.J. Holiday]

No purple tunnel for plenty of. No, not nasty.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

See? Oh no, no.

[Tam Bam]

So it's not nasty, right?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Self love is the best love.

[Tam Bam]

I agree.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Otherwise you're just treating yourself like a transaction.

[Tam Bam]

Oops, I did it again.

[A.J. Holiday]

What's wrong with that?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Nothing. But if you do that all the time to where then you feel like you just connecting with your body is too much work. It's too much work because you don't know how to rest. It's too much work because you're always on the go. So you're looking for a quick fix. So that is being disconnected from yourself. Nothing. Don't you? I love a good rose and I love the satisfier pro too.

[A.J. Holiday]

But satisfying pro.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

It is really good.

[Tam Bam]

I'm ordering it. But now you're telling me. Just go ahead and dj.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

I think you should create a mood, an ambiance in your home that makes you feel. Feel feminine, that makes you feel like a woman. Get some aphrodisiacs, some oysters. Some oysters, some chocolate covered strawberries, play some music, get a satin robe.

[Tam Bam]

In there by myself.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

In there by yourself. That's that is manifesting because it's the act of that. Like how you're taking care of your body, how you're pleasing yourself, you're inviting that energy into your space.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, I'mma do it. I'mma give me some strawberries tonight. All right, go ahead.

[A.J. Holiday]

Go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

I was about to say red flags. Your body and spirit will pick up before your mind does.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Does your body tense up when you're on a date? Do you feel yourself trying to accommodate to his needs where you're compromising parts of yourself? Do you find yourself making excuses for someone like oh he's a nice person or like justifying something that no one really asked you but like you're again.

[Tam Bam]

Something that doesn't serve you but you justifying it. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I wanted to get into.

[Tam Bam]

You.

[A.J. Holiday]

Know, because social media you have like the hood healer and what's the some of the other girlies, the something Mecca dreams. Yeah, all these different people on social media.

[Tam Bam]

Sorry.

[A.J. Holiday]

Larger than life, you know what I'm saying? They'd be doing their thing. I don't doubt, doubt that some of these people are indeed tapped in. But is it healing or is it hustling? Do are so many people like Ms. Cleo Calm.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Call me now.

[Tam Bam]

Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sure they are.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know Ms. Cleo was on to something, man.

[Tam Bam]

She was Getting her back.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

She was, she was, period. I think it's a combination of both. I do think there is a balance.

[A.J. Holiday]

You should be compensated.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You should be compensated. But also I think part of the work is teaching people to empower themselves so that they don't feel dependent on you. And if you feel like, like where people are constantly coming to you for things and it's the same thing, then you're just, you're depleting their energies. So I think there, there is a balance because money is an, you know, it's energy. So you want to be compensated fairly for the work that you're providing. But what are you leaving with them that they can take and pass it to someone else?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

So when you say, like, people come to you for everything. So I guess people start whenever somebody, like, has like a spiritual awakening. And then some people, they start like, leaving the church. But then you end up trying to find something else to believe in. Right. Instead of believing in yourself and looking within. So they end up in the hands of fortune teller, you know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

And listen, it'd be a lot of them. And they got the same script that they sent to me.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

First of all, they should. If someone is reaching out to you for like, oh, I got a message for you. That is a scam. Yeah, that is a scam.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, From Africa. Every time.

[Tam Bam]

No, for real.

[A.J. Holiday]

And I'm like, one day this person was saying so much wild shit to me. I'm like, yo, what? This is a demon in my inbox. Because the things that he like, why are you putting this stuff on my life? None of this is happening to me. So why are you in my. Am I in my.

[Tam Bam]

Why were you engaging?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

It's fear based.

[A.J. Holiday]

I wasn't. I just read it.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

I just read it and like, why would you. I didn't say anything back to them. But what kind of, what kind of thing is that, though?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Because they want you to be afraid. They want you to depend. So I had a lady when I used to live in Texas. There was this psychic store down the street from my apartment. And by this time I was already a medium. I had my mentors. But something kept telling me to go to get a reading from her. And I was like, why do I need to get a reading from her? But I finally went and she was telling me like, I had. I was cursed when I was in my mother's womb and all of these crazy things. And then she had me write my name on a paper. And she was like, for an additional $150. I can do this energy cleanse for you. And I was like, no, I'm good. And she was like, your call. And then she takes my name and she rips it up. And so when I left, I was like, I was so mad at my guys. I was like, why did y' all having me do that? And they're like, cause you need to see what the other side is. Like, how there's a lot of people like that that create fear to make you reliant on that person. So it's one thing to tap into something that, like, if you're doing a reading for a person, you can pick up on what they're going through, but then your guides are giving. Your ancestors are giving you something to help pull you through that so that you're not coming to them for the same. You're not coming back for the same issue. So, yeah, it's. It's a mess.

[Tam Bam]

What do you say to people that say, like, what you do is evil?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You know, growing up in Charleston, I grew up Southern Baptist, so I even my closest friends, when I first, it was like I was spiritually closeted and they were not. It was very fear based. But I had to kind of get over that because I'm like, they're. They're looking through their own perception. And especially black people, and especially if you grew up in the low country, like they've been doing, your grandmother's great grandmothers, they've been doing work, everything. And they've hid that in Christianity to. As a form of protection. And they think that's religion. It's not religion. It's just protection work. Like, you could be a Buddhist and a Christian, you could be a root worker and a Christian, but. And then what, what I do, if I were to tell people I was a prophet, if I was in the church and told people I was a prophet, they would. They wouldn't bat an eye.

[A.J. Holiday]

And then why, you know, but what's.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

The difference between a prophet and a psychic or a prophet and a media? Nothing. It's all just the church. So it used to bother me. But then I realized, you know, when you're honest and you're living in your truth, the right people will attract you.

[Tam Bam]

So have you ever been walking down the street and like somebody grandma was like, tell them something real quick. No, it's not like, molly, you in danger, girl? You know from ghost?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

No, I've met a stranger where I'm like, in conversation and I might hear, it doesn't happen. Often. But, like, if I'm talking to them and I'll say something like, I don't know, I'll just get like a download and say something to them. And they're like, how did you know that? Like, this one lady I'd met, she. I saw this young man and I was like, do you have a son that passed? And she looked at me like, yeah. And I was like, he's showing, like, a silver ball. Like, it's a necklace. And then she literally pulled out the necklace. It was what. She kept his ashes, like, part of his ashes in. And it was just a message of, like, you know, he's still with you or whatever. But so I try to. So, like, sometimes things like that will happen, but I try to get messages where it's very specific to them. It's not just like, oh, you're going through a hard time.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, you know, your grandma yelling. Everybody, grandma yell. Like, yeah, yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

So I, Like, I said I was going through a breakup, right? And this day, I was on shrooms, and I just saw this Instagram post the other day saying how, bitch, you ain't. This ain't spirituality. You're on drugs. So I started thinking about that because I do like to do shrooms occasionally, right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'll microdose. Like, But I'm not leaving the house, though.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Oh, of course not.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, now that's what I'll make a date for. I make a date to do shrooms, right? I make a whole little bath, all the things, right? So this. I actually did the shrooms earlier that day. And then by the evening time, I'm good, right? But I'm outside, I'm riding home. It's probably like 12 o'. Clock, and I see, like, the psychic thing open 12 o' clock at night. So let me go in there. So I go and. And I'm contemplating all type of things in my mind, right? I'm in this relationship. I'm like, this shit is eating me. You know what I'm saying? So I need somebody to talk to. So I call the number that's on the building because it said. Well, I. I pulled up because it said, open, right? When I got there, it wasn't really open. Then I called the number and the person answered the phone. A little old lady, little old white lady, voice over the phone. And she was like, hey, honey. I'm like, hey. She was like, you okay? This is how she was talking to me. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, no, I'm not okay. She was like, Is it about a relationship? Like, she. I'm like, oh. So she was like, well, come see me tomorrow. You can come to my house. Come at 11 o' clock so that I'm making plans the next one. I'm like, oh, I'm about to go see this lady. She about to go tell me all. She gonna tell me all the things and all the. I already know, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know why we'd be looking for confirmation outside of ourselves.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You ain't got some. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? So, long story short, this bitch was on some bullshit. I get there, you got me putting my hand on the Bible. I'm like, what is happening? $200 later, she's like, yeah, you need to leave that.

[Tam Bam]

No, I didn't say that. You need to leave that, man.

[A.J. Holiday]

Baby, now you, you, you trying to add on some extra shit like this gonna cost the same shit you were saying. I'm like, man, those times I wanna, I wanna. I really wanted to fight her because why are you finessing people like this? I really was about to start reading her, but I just got up out of her at her house because I just.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Because you're playing with people. I mean, you don't know the mental state that someone is in exactly. You want to add to their fear or their anxiety and not make them feel empowered or give them any type of comfort because it's all a money grab. But that's why they're. They're in that energy.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, so she look a little, A little. A little witch, a little ass.

[Tam Bam]

So can. Like. All right, so I know, like, I believe that, you know, the spirit world and our world intermingle. Do my grandma see me having sex?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You know, I don't. Yes. I mean, they know you having sex, but they're not like, I don't want.

[Tam Bam]

My grandma to be there.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, they're not like, throw it back, Tammy. How they do that to you do that? Your dad used to do that too.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Disgusting.

[A.J. Holiday]

You thought it was that pushing your back down your grandma.

[Tam Bam]

Don't laugh at that. See, that made me not want to do it ever again.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know what, they giving you morals to throw.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. No, I don't want try to protect.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Your energy, especially if you with a low vibrational man.

[Tam Bam]

Have you ever had like some type of spiritual download or something that you. Some type of intuition in the act of sex?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Not in the act, but it's. I've had a download that's caught. Had me Catch a guy doing something he was supposed to be doing. I was this guy. We used to live in the same building. And I remember I came home from work, as soon as I put my keys down, I heard, go check your mail. I was like, well, I need to check my mail. And I knew I didn't have anything. They're like, go check your mail. So I went to go check my mail. Sure enough, nothing was in there. Soon as I turned around the corner, he came out the elevator with another woman.

[Tam Bam]

Y' all was dealing with each other.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

And I. He did a double take. And normally when he would see me, it's like, oh, hey. You know, he was like, hey. And then, like. Like, scurried out the. And I was like, did I just. So then I was talking to my friend, and she's like, oh, no. Maybe it was, you know, someone. No, maybe it was just a friend or a relative. So then I was meditating. I was like, if I'm supposed to see something, like, really see who he is, show me in a gentle way. And two days later, another friend sent me a screenshot of him where someone posted him on. Are we dating the same guy?

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, shit.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Every day after that, women, like, came through the woodworks, and that's all I needed to see.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[A.J. Holiday]

So you had, like, a revolving door off that elevator.

[Tam Bam]

We going down the stairs this time, baby.

[A.J. Holiday]

Something wrong with the elevator with somebody.

[Tam Bam]

In your building, like, yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, that's just too close.

[Tam Bam]

It's too close. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Live together. That's the case.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

You won't see some like that, Especially.

[Tam Bam]

If you just date and it's casual. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

It's a lesson learned.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Never did.

[A.J. Holiday]

Are you in a relationship now?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

No, ma'. Am.

[Tam Bam]

Single.

[A.J. Holiday]

Why the fuck is that funny?

[Tam Bam]

What advice do you have for our listeners when it comes to their spirituality and sex?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Well, I was. I would suggest the sooner you can deal with your trauma, your inner childhood trauma, the quicker you can stop aligning with men that are in that same frequency. Because as long as you're putting the onus and the blame solely on them, you're never gonna get out of that cycle. And then for karmic lessons, it doesn't have to develop into anything further. If you just take the lesson for what it is and see what is the role that I played. It's not saying that you're the sole person that's responsible, but what did I contribute to this? And the second you can do that, you get out of that loop as well. And then lastly, making sure you rest so you can connect with yourself and tap into your intuition.

[Tam Bam]

And what's the name of that machine you said you had?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

The Satisfire Pro2.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

They had. They had.

[A.J. Holiday]

They.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

That was the newer model.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's the newer model.

[Tam Bam]

The Satisfyer Pro 2. Amazon tonight.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Let me know.

[Tam Bam]

All right. Do you want to do, like, a mini reading with one of us?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Oh, like online?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Can you. If you don't want to do that, you don't have to.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Girl, that'll make me sweat. I mean, I. Well, what time is it? How much time?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, we got, like, 15 good minutes.

[A.J. Holiday]

You don't have to.

[Tam Bam]

You don't have to.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

I'm quite nervous because I don't like to mix my spirits.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. So.

[A.J. Holiday]

And that's why we in here sweating, okay? Because we just in all the spirits when I.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

If you're still here when I'm. When I'm not, I don't mind, but.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, okay. No, no, that's fair. That's fair. I don't.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You know.

[Tam Bam]

All right, well, tell everybody where they can find. Oh, no, she got to have a dumbish store. We got to get the dumbish store for this. She. Yeah, she did kind of tell.

[A.J. Holiday]

Did you keep with the dude on? No, that was that.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

No, no.

[Tam Bam]

She. Why you acting like. Baby, come back upstairs.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

I ain't even say anything. There was nothing to be said.

[Tam Bam]

Said y' all didn't have no conversation about it.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

What do you talk about?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, well, that's a good way to handle it.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

That's what I'm saying. Closure comes from when you realize why you can. Why you move the way you do. That's the closure you get. Like, oh, my goodness. It really wasn't him. He's got his own stuff. I'm not even mad at the per. Like, I'm not even mad at him because I. I can clearly see when I was healing my trauma, like, the trauma that he had and how we trauma bonded. So it didn't have. It didn't have anything to do with me. It was just.

[Tam Bam]

It was what it was.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

I mean. All right, well, now tell everybody where they can find you to plug all your things.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

You can find me on Instagram at Underscore, a secret garden Underscore. And my website, a secretgarden.org and you.

[A.J. Holiday]

Got an event coming up, right?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Oh, I do. Oh, my God keeps reminding me. Um, wait, so I have a couple events, but I do have. We're doing a retreat next month in Lake Wylie, S.C. it's gonna. I'm gonna have a sex. She's like a sex therapist. She's a nurse practitioner, and she is really passionate about women's orgasms. So the whole retreat is really centered around emotional release, physical intimacy, things you can do to increase your sex drive for those that are struggling. And then we're gonna have an intuitive workshop next month, just playing some fun games to teach you. Like, what type of claire are you? Are you clairvoyant? Clairaudient, Clairsentient.

[A.J. Holiday]

So, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Well, this sounds like fun. Yeah. Is that on your page, all of those links?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, y', all. Y' all check that out. Y' all go tap in. Tap in the sex therapist. They gonna have the pussy stimulator too, there. What's it called?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

Oh, and we give away prizes.

[A.J. Holiday]

We give away.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

We do give away toys.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[Chantelle Siobhan]

But it's the Satisfier Pro two. Get the original one. Get the.

[Tam Bam]

Get the two. The two is better. All right, this was fun.

[A.J. Holiday]

Put out the link for that. So we. Yeah, market the. When people click on the link, what is it called?

[Chantelle Siobhan]

I know what you're talking about, but.

[A.J. Holiday]

Huh?

[Tam Bam]

Affiliate code.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Tam Bam]

All right, this is good. This is a lot of fun, a lot of good information for me especially, seriously. So thank you, y'.

[A.J. Holiday]

All. If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the black effect iHeartradio app or wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram. Skicka Tam, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. I'm official Tam Bam on Instagram. I love y' all so much. Remember, speak now and never hold your pussy stimulator, too.

[A.J. Holiday]

Deuce it. We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is an iHeart podcast.