Settlement vs. Alignment

Summary

We Talk Back — “Settlement vs. Alignment”

Release Date: October 23, 2025
Hosts: AJ Holiday & Big Tam Bam
Network: The Black Effect & iHeartPodcasts

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Main Theme & Purpose

In this lively, unfiltered episode, hosts TamBam and AJ kick it about the messy intersections of settling vs. aligning in relationships, self-care, boundaries, the pressures and pitfalls of dating, and the broader struggles (and laughs) of being unapologetically Black women moving through the Sea of Men. With signature humor and honesty, they guide listeners through recent viral stories, hard truths about discipline and self-worth, and real-life listener dilemmas—serving up insight, jokes, and a hefty dose of “girl, don’t be dumb.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Catching Up & Self-Care Realness

(02:42–06:48)

• Rest Is Revolutionary: AJ shares a restorative weekend sleeping in, underscoring a need for discipline but also the value of listening to your body.
• On Discipline: Both hosts confess struggles with routine and self-motivation, with AJ noting, “My only goal right now is discipline. ...I want it. ...I don’t like being tied down to a thing either, because I get bored real fast.” (04:32)
• Humor & Relatability: Vitamin D woes, bed-bound vitamin routines, and aging—hosted with a comedic, self-aware flair.

Moving Drama & “Say Something!” Goals

(06:48–14:02)

• Moving Mayhem: TamBam humorously recounts driving a 40-foot moving truck and the inevitability of arguing with anyone who helps you move. “If you could get through a move with a person and not argue with them at least once, you are a boss.” (07:13)
• Advocating for Yourself: Both hosts share moments of regret when they didn’t speak up—whether over mishandled groceries or DPW hygiene—and commit to saying something in the future.
  • “From that point on, I said, if I see somebody doing some shit, I’ma ask somebody doing it right then and there. ...That’s an example, bitch. I’m saying something to your ass.” — AJ (12:10)
• Gen Z “Young Folks” Antics: Pet peeve—workers placing dirty cell phones in food prep areas.

Stupid Internet News: Viral Takes & Hot Topics

(19:27–29:32)

1. Models Upset About “Non-Model” Runway Slots

• Viral model Avery Husselman criticizes Victoria’s Secret for letting Angel Reese (WNBA) and Suni Lee (Olympic gymnast) walk the runway. “No one would let a model play in the WNBA.” — Avery Husselman (21:45)
• TamBam claps back: “It’s not a monolith, people. Anybody can be a model as long as they are hired to walk they ass down that shit with whatever they put on. So sorry, boo.” (21:22)
• AJ: “I can do your job, you can’t do mine. ...Can you shoot a basketball?” (20:46)

2. Turkey Leg Hut Scandal

• Owners’ messy breakup and legal woes—female co-owner allegedly harbored a fugitive boyfriend wanted for brutal assault.
• Both ponder: What makes women risk everything for men? “If you hiding a [man] in your house right now from the police...get him out of there right now. You’re going to jail.” — TamBam (26:51)
• Reflect on cycles of low self-esteem and abusive relationships: “You can have all the money in the world...something you are not loving on yourself and you looking for something outside of you.” — AJ (28:11)

3. “He Don’t Want Me” — The Viral Cruise Wife

• A TikTok goes viral of a woman realizing mid-vacation her new husband is emotionally checked out.
• TamBam: “They might just be going through a rough patch. I’ve never seen one marriage that existed where they was just in love the whole time.” (31:51)
• AJ notes the disturbing fat-shaming in the comments: “To make that the reason why her husband probably doesn’t like her is very mean...They both can stand, and so can I...” (32:58)

Body Image, Weight, and Relationship Dynamics

(32:40–38:16)

• The hosts share personal struggles with weight gain, yoyo dieting, and getting “body done” vs. embracing discipline.
• TamBam: “I did that 75 hard, and I did so good. And then I went and did 75 fat.” (34:44)
• Insight: Relationship health and personal health intertwine, but it’s important to be accountable for your own choices.

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Listener Letters & “Dumb Story” Advice

(43:40–70:38)

1. “Pseudo-Husband” Dilemma

• Listener in an 8-year, non-legal “marriage” with a man who’s been to prison for fighting her brother.
• She’s craving intellectual connection and has been sneaking around with another man.
• AJ: “One thing I have realized is that I cannot be with somebody that I deem—right, somebody else may deem them smarter—but if I deem you less smarter than me, it’s gonna be a problem.” (46:12)
• TamBam: “You gonna get your head knocked between the washer and dryer, friend.” (47:31)
• Consensus: She’s comfortable, not happy, and she needs to decide if she’s aligning or just settling.

2. 32-Year-Old Listener Dating 21-Year-Old Maintenance Man

• Listener breaks her own fridge light to see fine, much younger maintenance man—asks if she’s wild for being interested.
• TamBam: “Girl, you wanted that big badge. ...You got glass with your eggs.” (58:19)
• AJ: “Women already mature way faster than men. ...He needs space to grow with somebody his age.” (59:36)

3. Tinder Notification Drama

• Listener finds out her “dude she’s been messing with” is active on Tinder.
• AJ draws a line between “dating” and “boyfriend”: “I should not be with you if you’re on a dating app. That’s just it. ...If it’s just somebody that y’all messing with, [that’s] not your man.” (64:48, 70:04)
• TamBam reminds women not to take exclusivity for granted: “Mind your business. ...If y’all ain’t going steady, we just around, then you don’t really got no leg to stand on.” (67:18)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Sometimes when your body tell you to be still, just do it. If you don’t, it will do it for you.” — TamBam (05:44)
• “Speak up, don’t just let people do you any kind of way. ...That’s another one of my goals is to say something.” — AJ (10:45)
• “I always put [screws] in a Ziploc bag and tape it to whatever it is.” — TamBam’s moving tip (08:46)
• “You gotta have some thick skin. ...I’m pretty sure Angel Reese didn’t get hazed. So maybe that’s the hard work she’s referring to...” — AJ on the modeling industry (22:57)
• “Imagine in your house arguing with a [fugitive] you hiding...You need to be the most quietest around, but you in here arguing...” — AJ (27:31)
• “Don’t be giving no tips up front. ...No, I’m not giving you a tip before the service.” — TamBam on shady massages (15:22)
• “If you want a relationship, you have to let him know that. ...If he’s not for that, get the fuck up out of there.” — AJ, relationship realness (70:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Catching Up & Body Talk: 02:41–06:48
• Moving Drama & “Speak Up” Stories: 06:48–14:02
• Dentist & Hygiene Tangent: 17:30–19:27
• Stupid Internet News (Models, Turkey Leg Hut, Cruise Wife): 19:27–29:32
• Weight, Discipline, Dieting: 32:40–38:16
• Listener Letters & Dumb Stories: 43:40–70:38

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Tone & Style

• Funky, deeply candid, irreverent and affirming—no holds barred on sex, love, money, and self-worth.
• AJ and TamBam’s chemistry makes even “dumb bitch stories” feel like a safe space for growth and laughter.

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Closing & Next Episode

• The hosts tease next week’s show about “ghosts and ancestors” with a special Black psychic guest.
• Invitation to listeners to call in and “talk back,” continuing the cycle of raw, real, and relatable sisterhood.

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Missed the episode? This summary delivers all the laughter, insight, and tea—minus the ads and intros. Tune in Thursdays for more!

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

Charlamagne Tha God here. Before we get into today's episode, we've got to celebrate the Black Effect podcast network. It's turning five years old, man. Five years of powerful voices, unforgettable moments and a community that keeps growing. This is the power of the platform. Now let's get into it.

[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Big Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'?

[Big Tam Bam]

All?

[AJ Holiday]

It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Big Tam Bam]

Hey, y'. All. It's Big Tam Bam. I love y' all so, so very much. I miss y'. All. I'm glad y' all came back this week. How was your weekend, aj Girl, I.

[AJ Holiday]

Didn'T do much this weekend. I really laid in the bed all day Saturday, and it felt really good.

[Big Tam Bam]

Ooh. It was one of the best days.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. I'm in a good mood this week. Like, I don't. I'm not letting shit bother me. My other little shit got me. I would be going nuts otherwise, but I'm not. Yeah. So I got some much needed rest, and I missed the sun. That's about it. I don't be getting enough vitamin D.

[Big Tam Bam]

I have to take it orally because I'm just not getting enough.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I do take. I take some, you know, daily, when I remember, daily, whenever I remember. But usually. Usually I take my vitamin D. But, you know, a lot of times I be having to put my vitamins in the bed with me, so.

[Big Tam Bam]

In the bed?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So as soon as I wake up, I just roll over and take them.

[Big Tam Bam]

And we are not our parents. They at least put it beside me. Gotta put it in the pillowcase.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't got no nightstand. Oh, I do, but it's, like, on the other side of the bed. Oh, but this is laziness, right? Because really, I should just get the up out the bed and go in a cabinet and take the vitamins.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah. Like an adult.

[AJ Holiday]

Lean in the bed until I feel my shit moving to get up to use the bathroom. Because it's usually, like, soon as I take all this stuff, probably 30 minutes later, I use the bathroom. So I take all the shit, and then I scroll until I got to take a shit.

[Big Tam Bam]

And you scroll while you taking a shit.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Legs numb. Just get up. Yesterday I was watching this YouTube thing, this, like, mindset change. Because my only goal right now is discipline. I was telling my mama how, like, our whole family just lacked discipline. I don't ever recall. And this is how you be success. Successful. Right. Doing the same every day. Get a routine.

[Big Tam Bam]

That's the hard part.

[AJ Holiday]

Any discipline about, I want it.

[Big Tam Bam]

You're a free spirit.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I know what.

[Big Tam Bam]

I'm beauty in that, too.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't like being, like, tied down to a thing either, because I get bored real fast. Like, I can get a routine going, but I'm gonna get bored with that shit real quick.

[Big Tam Bam]

Me too.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, so.

[Big Tam Bam]

Me too. It's like, remember the food analogy that I gave in season one? Niggas get tired of the shrimp. Niggas want a slice of pizza. Good day. Literally.

[AJ Holiday]

Man, I just gotta. Yeah, that's my only goal. I gotta get more discipline. Like, I really should not have laid in the bed this Saturday. But sometimes when your body tell you to be still, just do it.

[Big Tam Bam]

If you don't, it will do it for you. It will.

[AJ Holiday]

And last week, multiple days last week, I just. I was feeling real exhausted. Like, real life, exact exhaustion. Not like sick, but like, just the tire. Yeah. Like, you know how you be, like, tired but you can't go to sleep? It's that feeling all day long.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah. And that sucks.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Big Tam Bam]

So let me tell you.

[AJ Holiday]

Much I. Relax. What you did.

[Big Tam Bam]

Let me tell y' all what it is. So my mother. I told y' all my mom was moving. Why? I drove a big truck, y'. All. I drove a 40 foot truck. Y' all couldn't tell me I didn't have big nuts. I was backing that up like a grown man. I was like, one hand. Yeah, I was. Yeah, one hand in that. I rolled down the window. I was like, howdy to my sister.

[AJ Holiday]

Now she thinks she can go get a cdl.

[Big Tam Bam]

Child, my cdl. Like, I was whipping that. I'm so proud of myself for doing that because I was so scared. That shit ain't no hoe. And neither am I. Girl.

[AJ Holiday]

Listen, I have a lot of anxiety when I drive big, like commercial vehicles. But I've definitely driven a big ass box truck before.

[Big Tam Bam]

See, that's crazy. A mountain is crazy because what the. I just drove it like about four miles each way.

[AJ Holiday]

You feel accomplished?

[Big Tam Bam]

Super accomplished. It wasn't the space in between, it was the turns. It was the turns and backing that bitch in and stuff like that, that's what made me feel like a boss. Yo. But that was it. That was my weekend. Moving. Moving is so stressful. Oh, my God. If you could get through a move with a person and not argue with them at least once, you are a boss. You the true boss.

[AJ Holiday]

I have never had anybody help me move and not argue with them. Like, now that I think about it, anytime, usually if I'm moving myself, I'm cool. If it's movers doing it, I'm cool. But if I'm asking somebody for help to move me, it's almost Always a fight. It's usually a nigga, too, and it's the nigga you fucking. Why is that?

[Big Tam Bam]

I don't know, but you go fight with that motherfucker every time. I got into it with a. I was a fucking. I got into with higher help. I had to apologize to him, though.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, no, I get it. Never got into a hired help.

[Big Tam Bam]

But, like, man, he told me he lost. Like, he told me he put the screws in the bag, and clearly the bag is empty. Where are the screws? So I was like, kind of getting a little spicy with that. But turns out the part that I was talking about didn't have no screws. But why did you say. Why'd you say you put them in the bag? Why you didn't say there was no screws?

[AJ Holiday]

You know, because when you moving a whole bunch of. You forget which what had a screw and what didn't. You know what I'm saying? But that's why you should tape the screws to whatever you unscrew.

[Big Tam Bam]

That's what I do. I always put them in a Ziploc bag and tape it to whatever it is. This and that particular bag he took down, being overzealous fast. He took it down before I was in there, and I was like, well, where are the screws? And he said, I put it in the other bag.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh.

[Big Tam Bam]

So I was like, I assume there.

[AJ Holiday]

Was screws for it.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because he said that. Yeah.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah. So I end up apologizing, though. I did. I was like, I'm sorry for the manner in which I spoke to you, girl.

[AJ Holiday]

The one time I actually hired movers, actually, I've had people move, like, up like. Like my bed right now. I had somebody had to move that shit in here because it was that fucking heavy. But the one time I actually hired movers to move all my shit is when I was moving from St. Louis to Atlanta. I mean, from Atlanta to St. Louis. And the guy I hired was supposed to be a moving company. Why the fuck this nigga showed up by himself? He showed up to move a two bedroom townhouse by himself. So doesn't that mean I had to help him?

[Big Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Plus, I get this, a bicycle. And he still wanted to charge me the full price of the move.

[Big Tam Bam]

Because you gave him a bike?

[AJ Holiday]

No.

[Big Tam Bam]

Cause you had to help. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You wasn't gonna move all this stuff in the allotted time. I needed.

[Big Tam Bam]

Like, how you. How you just gonna move my couch?

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. I had to. So basically you were hired to help. I'm not giving you the Same price as somebody who comes as a moving company with multiple people in a truck.

[Big Tam Bam]

Are you right? And I don't have to do nothing but stand there and supervise. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So I already packed my whole house up, and now I gotta help you put the Girl, I was livid. You hear me?

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And I gave you a bike, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

Look, out of here. I'm pay myself half and I'm gonna pay you half. Exactly.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. We had to argue about it, but that's what went down. Like, you are you stupid People. People will really try to get over on you, man.

[Big Tam Bam]

Oh, yes, they will. If you don't do something, they will get over on you.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. You gotta say, you know, that's another one of my goals is to say something. There's times in my life, my life where some shit was happening and I just didn't say nothing about it. I'm gonna give y' all a perfect example.

[Big Tam Bam]

I got one, too.

[AJ Holiday]

Did I tell this story before when I was in. I was in Publix when I lived in Charlotte. The Publix on South Tryon. And the guy in the seafood department, he had his bare hands in the cooler, like, fondling the fucking shrimp, like, just mushing it around with his hands, bare hand standing in the fruit and vegetable section. I could see him diagonally. I'm watching him like, why the fuck.

[Big Tam Bam]

Is you doing that?

[AJ Holiday]

Because in my mind, you just jacked off in your hand and you fucking stirring it up in the shrimp with no gloves on.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Right. So I wanted to walk up and confront him about it. He saw me see him and he stopped. I circled back around and I saw him doing it some more. That's how I know he was putting something in that fucking shrimp.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Because it's the cooked shrimp, not the raw shrimp. It's like, you know, like the boiled peel and eat shrimp.

[Big Tam Bam]

He was, oh, so it's already cooked and you got your dirty hands in it? Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

That's why I'm like, wait, what? Like, nobody's washing the cooked shrimp. You know what I'm saying? So I waited until I left the store, and I ran into, like, a black woman who was a manager. And I told her what I saw instead of addressing him directly. So from that point on, from that point on, I said, if I see somebody doing some shit, I' ma ask somebody doing it right then and there. I'm not going to be passive aggressive and go tell. Tell a fucking manager just anything. That's an example, bitch. I'm saying something to your ass. Cause why the fuck is you doing that? I need to know because I never got the answer. Like, I never. I needed him to say I needed him. I needed to see him, like, get scared, right? Because then I would know he was on some. But I'll never know now.

[Big Tam Bam]

No, I was at Domino's Pizza, and I walked out because the same little, like, shelf or, like, where they. They're making the. Sliding the pieces down where they're making it, she got her cell phone sitting on it.

[State Farm Announcer]

Oh, what?

[Big Tam Bam]

You're dirty. Do you know how dirty your cell phone is? And you got it on the same shelf that the pizzas are sliding down because you can't put your phone away because you a young millennial or a gen zer, and you ain't. I know you're not supposed to have your ph, but yet you got it sitting up there where the pizzas are being made.

[AJ Holiday]

Is. Are the pizzas in the box or the. Or the French.

[Big Tam Bam]

The raw dough. Yeah, the raw dough. Like, who they sliding that at? That's where she got her cell phone.

[AJ Holiday]

You ain't asked. You ain't sending her about it.

[Big Tam Bam]

I took a picture of her ass and sent it to Domino's. I DM Domino's.

[AJ Holiday]

I wonder. I was like, why the you doing this? So I'm sure this is asking.

[Big Tam Bam]

I'm sure. I was like, I'm sure this isn't what you train people to do. You know what Domino said back? Not a thing. They ain't open my DM yet. I should have said something to that in there.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, you gotta add them on Twitter, girl. You would have had to have posted that picture on Twitter and at them.

[Big Tam Bam]

Because it ain't too late. It ain't too late. This is recently. I'll be like, y' all ignored my dm, so I guess I have to bring it here. And that's the goal.

[AJ Holiday]

You just want to response at this point, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, at this point, I don't want no more pizza from y'. All. Ass. Oh, goodness. Oh, and then another thing. Let me just say this one, so we can get into SIDS, because we've been talking 10 minutes already, y'. All. So you know how they have those Asian reflexology massage parlors, right? And then you can get, like, a discounted massage, right?

[AJ Holiday]

A special massage all over.

[Big Tam Bam]

Like, especially in New York. They're everywhere, you know? And it don't be like, some of them be, like, real. Like, I'm assuming a real massage parlor. And nothing shady, right? So my back was hurting. So bad the other night. And I was like, let me see if one of those are over here. I'm in Columbia, South Carolina. So I found one. It was like 1.2 miles away. I was like, oh, this is perfect. So I called and I asked them. They had appointment. They said, yes, you can come at 7:30. So I went there and it just looked a little. I was like, you know, I'm not gonna judge. My back hurt. I might get the best massage of my life, right? So I go in the. Don't speak no English, right? She don't speak no English whatsoever. Okay. This is America. There's a lot of people in this country who speak different languages. Whatever. This gonna ask me to pay her, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Then before the massage.

[Big Tam Bam]

Before the massage, I was like, that's some whole. Yeah, that's why I was like, this feels very prostituted. So I was like, okay. I was like, it ain't but $60. I'll give it to her before. It's fine. So I give it to her before, and then she pointing at the tip, right in a tip. I was like, all right, now. I was like, I'm not going to give you a tip. Before the service. Not only did she was. Not only did she point at the tip spot, then she pointed to the assignment, said, 20 to 30% is highly recommended or suggested she gonna point to that sign. And I was like, girl, no, I'm not giving you until. She's like, no English. I was like, what language do you speak? And she act like she don't understand it because I'm gonna send you a translation that I'm not sending you a no tip. No tip.

[AJ Holiday]

No, no, no is universal, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

So she got, I guess she was kind of mad, so she started digging my l. Her elbow in my back. That hurt. That whole $60 wasted, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Big Tam Bam]

That hurt my back. I was like, ow. I know. Ow is universal. You know what I'll mean? Ow, that hurts. And she like, yeah, bitch, no tip. I was gonna hurt the whole motherfucking time.

[AJ Holiday]

Shame.

[Big Tam Bam]

I should have said something. But I just. Yeah, I'll never go back there. Then she kept answering the phone during my massage.

[AJ Holiday]

Not a black Asian giving a service on the phone.

[Big Tam Bam]

Sorry. And then she. And she putting them on speakerphone. I like, this is the most ghetto massage I've ever had in my life, man.

[AJ Holiday]

Asian people, when they talk, it sound like an argument. God damn, Calm down. That's just like the regular tone. It sounds like an argument every time.

[Big Tam Bam]

They're not even fighting. They talk about. All right, let's get this girl shame. All right.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, let me. But let me just add this on right quick. Speaking of getting hurt, y', all, I went to the dentist last week. Floss, y'.

[Big Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Floss. Get a water pick. When I tell y'.

[Big Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

The hurt me so bad. Last week at the dentist office, I canceled. I had. I need to get a feeling. I canceled it. I ain't coming back for some months. I need a break from you, bitch. She really, like, hurt me, but I had, like, a piece, like, a callus. Like, you know, like a little callus buildup in between my bottom. Yeah, plaque buildup. That shit has been there since the last time I went to the dentist. The last dentist couldn't get it out. This bitch did, so she did a great job. Now cleaning my teeth because it's smooth in between.

[Big Tam Bam]

Nice. Like when you rub your tongue after it's freshly clean. I love that feeling.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but. Oh, like to get underneath your teeth, because that's the importance of flossing, because all that food gets underneath.

[Big Tam Bam]

Under your gum line.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you got to get up underneath there. So get. Get the water pick. Anyway. Yeah, that was it. Do your dentist appointment.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yes, please.

[AJ Holiday]

A couple weeks ago. Have you. Have you done it yet? I did mine.

[Big Tam Bam]

It ain't time for mine yet.

[AJ Holiday]

I just went, you nasty asses. Go get them right clean.

[Big Tam Bam]

Please get something like, it's this, y'. All. He fine as hell from Charlotte. And that's my. But he got a laugh at Yellow Laffy Taffy right at the bottom of his teeth. That's what it looked like.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I associate that type of. With all type of, like, illnesses. Like, I don't know, because you can really die from clayvitis and stuff. Yeah, you can die from gum disease. For real. Like, why are you. You don't see that? You don't feel that. That is. That comes from not brushing also. Just not brushing your teeth.

[Big Tam Bam]

Not good. Not. And then just letting it sit there. Why should that look like a mouth guard? All right, all right.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's get into stupid Internet news. All right, so there is a model. I don't know if you guys saw this or you saw this. Tammy, this model on. She took to TikTok, Instagram, whichever platform of her choice to go off on Angel Reese and Suni Lee being Victoria Angels this year and the Runway show, she said, instead of real one Runway queens, let modeling be its own thing. How do you feel about that? So she's a model, and she's Upset because Angel, I don't know what's on going. Suni Lee does. What is. What is her. What profession is she in?

[Big Tam Bam]

I don't know, Sunili, but she's a gymnast.

[AJ Holiday]

She's a gymnast. Okay, so she's actually an Olympic gymnast. So she and Angel Reese were both in the fashion show in New York City and this one model didn't like it. She didn't like that they were on the Runway.

[Big Tam Bam]

But I just don't understand, like, not saying. I don't want to downplay modeling, but it ain't like she doing brain surgery. Like, it's all you gotta do is put on some and walk like. So you're a model now, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, it's like, I can do your job, you can't do mine because can you shoot a basketball?

[Big Tam Bam]

Can you.

[AJ Holiday]

Can you cook dope?

[Big Tam Bam]

Can you cook? No, that's an inside joke, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

But yeah, like, girl, are you an Olympic gymnast? Because Suni can do your job, but you can't. Okay? You cannot play basketball like Angel Reese. Okay? But she can model like you because she's hella tall. Fine. She got a little bump. Bump in the back and she's pretty.

[Big Tam Bam]

I mean, and then, you know, the modeling world is changing. It's more inclusive. You have lines like Fenty that have models of all sizes and all shapes and all walks. So like, girl, you don't. It's not a monolith, people. Anybody can be a model as long as they are hired to walk they ass down that shit with whatever they put on. So sorry, boo.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. She said it says with nearly four years in industry. Her name is. I guess her last name is. Her name is Avery Husselman. Hunselman argued that such crossovers undermine the hard earned opportunities for trained models. No one would let a model play in the wnba. Yes, you could. If you could play, okay, you could do both. Obviously no one would let models go compete for Olympic gold. She said in the two minute rant. So my question for you, casting, why are we letting Angel Reese and Suni Lee walk the Victoria's Secret Runway? She extended her critique to influencers, calling the decisions beyond on unfair to those who've worked their butts off to break into versus castings. Here's the thing. Y' all get yelled at, screamed at, like, that's the bunt of y' all job. Cuz we watched who wants what's. What's Tyra Bing show, American Next Top Model.

[Big Tam Bam]

We watched.

[AJ Holiday]

All I saw was abuse. That's all I saw, okay, pretty faces getting abused, forcing you to cut your hair off to fit, whatever, you know, tough industry.

[Big Tam Bam]

Honestly they be getting. You gotta have thick skin. Yeah, you gotta have some thick skin.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm pretty sure Angel Reese didn't get hazed. So maybe that's the hard work she's referring to, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not saying that it's easy.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah. Cause I mean, I guess that they have to walk, you know, a certain way and pose a certain way, but I still don't feel like it's so much that anybody couldn't do it.

[AJ Holiday]

Now if a up there knock kneed now you get Charles and Miss. What's the name up there? That's a little bit.

[Big Tam Bam]

It just depends on who line they walking for. Hey girl, it's a doc Deep right there that need representation. Out of here, Holzman. So same.

[State Farm Announcer]

Girl.

[Big Tam Bam]

Bye. I'm sorry.

[AJ Holiday]

Did you, did you see the Turkey Leg Hut that's going on?

[Big Tam Bam]

What is going on with that? Because I saw people comparing them to James St. Patrick and what was her name? Tasha St. Patrick. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Just. What, tearing the whole, the whole down? Basically.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah. Like so.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, so right now. So, so I don't know. Have you seen the. Okay, let me, let me back up a little bit. So the Turkey Leg Hut owners, the husband and wife, they are no longer together. Okay. So it's Nick Nakia Holmes and I can't even remember what the, the husband's name is. I don't. They're not together. And I, I want to say he's in jail because I'm. I'm pretty sure he torched the place in a couple other businesses. Right. But apparently she's with another guy. So. This is a headline from the Daily Mail. It says Nikia Holmes Holmes, 45, is accused of hindering the apprehension of a known felon identified as Jonathan Salzon, who was wanted for allegedly beating his ex girlfriend with a tire iron and holding her captive for six hours. In this video out there and there's before and after pictures of what this girl would normally look like on a day to day basis and how she was looking after he abused her. Right. So he said. Deputies said Cezanne was captured after fleeing Holmes Holmes home in the Bridgeland area of west Harris County. That's Houston, where he had been hiding. According to Harris county court records, Holmes has been charged with one count of hindering apprehension of apprehension or prosecution of a known felon, a serious offense that prosecutors say unfolded at her own home. She was taken into custody by the Harris County Sheriff's Office and booked into jail before being released Thursday morning. So deputies with the Harris County Sheriff's Office said they were staking out Holmes's residence in the Bridgeland area of the city when they received the tip that wanted suspect was hiding inside. So, anyway, you're with an abuser. This man is wanted by the police for beating the.

[Big Tam Bam]

Almost death that woman. He beat her with a tire iron. Like he tried to.

[AJ Holiday]

Unrecognizable.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

And then there's video of him. Like she's. He's like, kicking. Kicking her ferociously on a sofa. Like there's video out. Out there of him, you know, doing this abuse. And it's. And it's crazy. Like, how could you. I could not be with a man who would do something like that to another woman.

[Big Tam Bam]

No. Because when is it my turn?

[AJ Holiday]

His neck. Ex.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Her mug and her mug shot. Her lip looked a little swollen.

[Big Tam Bam]

He might have been inside of her lip. Yeah, it might have started already.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, he might have popped your ass a little quick. Little one, too.

[Big Tam Bam]

Let me tell you something. If you hiding a in your house, all right, if you listening to the sound of my voice, this is God speaking through me. If you are hiding a in your house right now from the police, I need you to get him out of there right now. You're going to jail. You're going to jail, too. Just like that girl who had Derek Grove's ass from New Orleans head up in her. Her Atlanta apartment. What is going on with y'? All? Ain't no dick that good.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Now you going to jail.

[Big Tam Bam]

You're going to jail. Imagine in your house arguing with a. You hiding.

[AJ Holiday]

You need to be the most quietest around, but you in here arguing like.

[Big Tam Bam]

You legal because that's how they said that's how he got caught. The police. Somebody called the police because they was over there arguing.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And somebody called the police. Yeah. Like the. What is happening?

[Big Tam Bam]

I. I don't want no dick that good.

[AJ Holiday]

What is the esteem like, you know what I'm saying? Like this.

[Big Tam Bam]

I always.

[AJ Holiday]

You always have to go back. Like, what is. This person's. The girl with turkey leg Hut girl. You know what I'm saying?

[Big Tam Bam]

Beautiful.

[AJ Holiday]

That got abused. Beautiful girl, too.

[Big Tam Bam]

What.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up with y'? All? What's up with the esteem that you allow a person like this to have access to you?

[Big Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? You can have all the money in the world. Like, you see people with certain. Like, Type of is like, why? What? Something you are not loving on yourself and you looking for something outside of you, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

When you have a convicted felon that's hiding from the police in your. Or a who beat a woman nearly out to death with a tire iron. I'm praying for y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All. Yeah, I wouldn't doubt that the ex husband probably used to put hands on her ass, too, because he seemed a little like, little sassy, you know what I'm saying? I'm real afraid of the sassy men because I believe oftentimes they really don't even like women for real. So that's why they'd be so aggravated be battling these sexuality. They just be mad. So maybe she's used to being in abusive relationships, too. I don't know. But it ain't nothing.

[Big Tam Bam]

But she got some time to think about it. She got some time to think about it because she about to sit in that jail.

[AJ Holiday]

No, she already built. She already bond out, so she bonded out. He bonded out.

[Washable Sofas Announcer]

Terrible.

[AJ Holiday]

Terrible.

[Big Tam Bam]

You know what? I just want her to turn it around and open up another restaurant. Because her restaurant was so successful, everybody liked it. All across the country, people were supporting that restaurant, you know? So I just want her to get it together. We're gonna pray for you, sister, that you find your way back. All right?

[AJ Holiday]

I used to eat. Hold on. When I used to eat poetry. I always wanted to open a turkey. I won't tell y' all a name, but I wanted to open a place like, only selling turkey wings. That's one of the things I miss. Turkey wings.

[Big Tam Bam]

Like, oh, I love me a turkey.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, girl, with all the onions and peppers on there. My turkey wings. Yes.

[Big Tam Bam]

Anyway, I'm here for it. All right? So I don't know if y' all saw this, but there was a woman, she shared an emotional moment when she realized her husband did not want her. And it quotes her, it says, he looked at other girls, other girls, like, he was embarrassed of me. And she posted a video of her and her husband there on list. They seem to be on a cruise. And she said, this is the day I realized he doesn't want me. And he just looks a little frustrated. He's not paying her much attention, but she looked like she might be a little annoying right here. I don't know if.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, she tugging on his beard and shit. So it's a couple different things, right? And. And two things could be true, right? He could very well may have been acting distant that day. We don't know. That's the only video she posted of him acting away. There's other videos of him looking like he's having fun. Right?

[Big Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

So maybe she was a little bit intoxicated in that video and being annoying and obnoxious or like some people, like adults like to be in the moment. Like I like to be in a moment, especially on vacation. Like, bitch, why is your phone even working on the cruise? Okay. And that's the first thing you spent money for WI Fi to post content for people who don't even fucking like.

[Big Tam Bam]

You in real life life, and they not here.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? So maybe he doesn't want the phone in his face his entire trip. Maybe he wanted to relax.

[Big Tam Bam]

Or maybe he don't like her ass. But it says that he married her that same year, right? What?

[AJ Holiday]

Like the video crying. And she was saying how, like her home, even his. Her. His homeboys told her, you know, about him. She didn't go into detail, really. And I think she already had kids prior to him. And she was saying how she sustained from having sex for two whole years. So when she met him, she really thought that God had sent him, you know what I'm saying? Because she was just trying to clear her energy. And then now this man pops up. She was like, I wasn't looking for nobody. He just came out of nowhere. And she just thought he was the one now to be married and feeling like he doesn't like her.

[Big Tam Bam]

Well, you know what? They might just be going through a rough patch. I've never seen one marriage that existed where they was just in love the whole time. Not a single one. So, I mean, y' all's coming a little early, but y' all might be able to make it through.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. The most disturbing part about this is the comments. Like, the things that people are saying is, you know, specifically the men saying how she needs. And I saw one of our friends in the comments talk about how she need to lose weight and get herself together. The thing is, y' all don't be looking at yourself, because he's in there beating men, too. Yes, she has gained some weight since the wedding because I went through her Instagram page. It is Kiki, the real Mrs. Jones. Okay, so Mrs. Jones is not happy with Mr. Jones, and she had on her wedding dress in one of the videos, and it wasn't zipping up in the back no more. So she has gained weight since the actual wedding. Right. Relationships do that shit sometimes. The both of them need to get together and work out Right. But to have people in the comments saying that's the reason why this fat ass don't like her, that bothers me a little bit. Okay.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because they both can stand, and so can I. Right. Let me choose a couple pounds. They both can stand it. So to make that the reason why her husband probably doesn't like her is very mean.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, it is. Yeah. But even still, don't do it even if you call me in shape. Do it for you. Doing it for somebody else.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, when you. When you got a partner, like, why wouldn't you want to do it? Also do it for your partner. You know, I was having a conversation with one of my friends recently, and he's having a whole lot of health issues, and it just sound like he's trying to blame his ex wife a little bit.

[Big Tam Bam]

And I actually asked.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm like, are you blaming your ex wife for your current condition that she was. Yeah, well, he ain't fat no more because he is hella sick.

[Big Tam Bam]

All right?

[AJ Holiday]

He was saying, like, when he was bigger, but he didn't lose the weight, like, willingly. Like, he got really sick and dropped hella weight. Right. Like, unrecognizable. I'm sure.

[Big Tam Bam]

Not healthy way.

[AJ Holiday]

I haven't seen him in person yet. Yeah, he hasn't. Yeah, exactly. Not healthy weight. So in the midst of the conversation, he was saying how, you know, they would work out together, but then she. She would stop. She wasn't being consistent. I said, okay, what does her being consistent have to do with you being consistent? I guess when you are in a partnership, it is like, you know, when you kind of fall off a little bit, your partner should be there to pick you up a little bit.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right. And vice versa.

[AJ Holiday]

But she's skinny. You need to work out more than anything. Not to say skinny people don't need to work out, because just because you skinny doesn't mean you're healthy.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But you were clearly unhealthy because now it has since caught up with you.

[Big Tam Bam]

It caused some illness.

[AJ Holiday]

So now you want to blame her for not being consistent. You weren't consistent. You lacked discipline. You lack discipline.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, same like y'. All. I did that 75 hard, and I did so good. And then I went and did 75 fat. And now I'm just back. Yeah, again, like, it's so hard to keep that weight off y'.

[Nyx Underwear Announcer]

All.

[Big Tam Bam]

Oh, my God.

[AJ Holiday]

But at least you've done it twice, bitch. In the last couple years, I've done in no time the one thing I haven't Done is gain some extra weight. But a bitch do not. Do not be losing. No, I won't say that. As a matter of fact, I have actually lost like £15 in the last couple years. So I am. I have lost weight. It just be looking different every time it come and goes.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah. It don't come back the same. It do not come back the same.

[AJ Holiday]

When it come back, bitch, be careful. You gotta be careful. Cause I really be working on that little pocket of fat underneath the bra. Like the bra fat. I really hate that.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, that little balls right there in.

[AJ Holiday]

The side of the titty.

[Big Tam Bam]

Like this little. Yeah, I want it tight right there. It made me so mad because I ain't got no titties as it is. I got the nerve to have a little piece of titty on the side fat pocket. I hated that.

[Washable Sofas Announcer]

This.

[Big Tam Bam]

I'm about to get my body done. I'm just tired of like, yo, yo dieting and yo yo weight. Like, gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight. It's so hard.

[AJ Holiday]

You commit, though. You will commit. But I think what happens is, like, you start looking super fine and like.

[Big Tam Bam]

Did I stop this?

[AJ Holiday]

That's what I'm saying. Like that. That's where the discipline kicks in and that and then like, this is just a lifestyle. You know what I'm saying? I. I am tired of eating. I'm tired of trying to figure out the fuck I'm a eat. And I barely eat. That is my problem. I don't eat enough.

[Big Tam Bam]

And see, I don't get tired.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm tired of thinking about what the fuck I'm a cook tonight. That shit really be taking up too much space in my damn brain. So I eat cereal for dinner a lot, which is ain't nothing but fucking carbs and sugar, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

[Big Tam Bam]

You a kid, girl.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't learn. I don't perfect my boba from the house. I'd be drinking boba tea all fucking day. They know about starch and sugar. So, yeah, I just need to cut the sugar in the bread and I'll be good and eat more protein. But then it's like salmon doesn't taste good to me anymore.

[Big Tam Bam]

I love salmon. Can this be our episode? We didn't talk 40 minutes. Let's. I got a dumb story.

[AJ Holiday]

Why he's stupid. This is a play. Play episode, y'.

[Big Tam Bam]

All. It.

[AJ Holiday]

Let me go turn the light on.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right?

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[AJ Holiday]

We'll have an actual topic for y' all ass next week.

[Big Tam Bam]

Next week. Listen, we. I want to talk about ghosts and ancestors, and I want to invite this. I want to invite this person on who, like, really be about their life. So if y' all scary, y' all probably don't want to tune in.

[AJ Holiday]

But they talk. What, like they. They summons ghosts? Interesting.

[Big Tam Bam]

They black.

[AJ Holiday]

Why you had to add that?

[Big Tam Bam]

I just trust people more when they black.

[AJ Holiday]

You see? You judge people more when they black.

[Big Tam Bam]

I trust them more when they black. Oh. Oh, right. Yeah, I believe him. Yeah, look at him. I believe him.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, that was an ongoing argument between me and one of my. She's still a friend of my mind, but we don't talk no more. But Sloan Bella, remember the lady, Sloan Bella on YouTube, the one who was like, yeah, presenting all the Diddy shit? She was saying that this shit was gonna happen before it happened and all that shit. So she's like a psychic on YouTube. So I would tune into Sloane Bella, my homegirl, would tune into this Black girl on TikTok, I don't even know her name, and the bitch would wanna argue with me about who was more tapped in. Like, girl, what. First of all, like, once you get to a certain level of spirituality, you realize that color, like, skin tone, because she was saying, like, this white bitch doing, like, somebody feeding her information. She not really, like, getting information. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not really just coming to her. She's. She's a in. In Hollywood, and somebody's giving her the information and she's presenting it on YouTube. That was her theory, right? And I'm like, nobody was checking for Sloan Bella, and. But she's been on YouTube, been had clients. But it wasn't until the Diddy situation that she, like, really, like, blew up on YouTube. But she's been on YouTube for fudgeing years, right? And so has this other girl been on TikTok. But why do you want to argue with me about who's more tapped in? Because this is a white woman versus, like, basically what you say, like, I trust him because he's black. You know, you have discernment, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

That's.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the power of discernment. You know, when something feels right to you. So it felt wrong to her and it felt right to me. I didn't think anything was wrong with Sloan Bella. Like, I didn't. I don't think she's a fraud whatsoever. Sometimes people reincarnate different. Next time I, I hope I, I was about to say I hope I come back as a rich white man. But what if black people in power when I come back and I come back as a white on me, pissed, like, wait a minute.

[Big Tam Bam]

And that's what you get. And that's how the cookie crumbles, right? All right, coming to this. All right, we're gonna hear something from President Malik, everybody. President Malik. State of the Union for President Malik, everybody.

[AJ Holiday]

And he'll come on this up. That's gonna be the realest President Trump is probably the closest thing we gonna get to a president. They was trying to talk about Obama, but we got a real in office. And I mean like a real who do real. I'm talking about a real. Because it's a difference between black people and.

[Big Tam Bam]

Cuz it's definitely some going on.

[AJ Holiday]

Some going on.

[Big Tam Bam]

Okay, all right, so I listen, I think I got a couple dumb stories that we haven't shared. So I'm just going to read a couple of them and then we going to go to home today. Okay? That's what's gonna happen. All right, listen to this one. All right, this is from. Oh, I can't say. It's anonymous. It says, hey, hey AJ and Tam. Bam. I hope you guys read this sooner than later. I'm in a bind, Nate. I don't know if this is a dumb bitch story or what, but yeah, it probably is. All right. I've been with my husband and that's in quotations for almost eight years. And I put it in quotes because we've never officially married. We have two kids together and I have two from my previous marriage. We have been through a lot of everything and we've gotten through it together. And I love him at a deep level. There was always. There has always been something missing. And me being an Aquarius woman, I'm going to seek it. The sex is great between us and at this point, I think it's an intellectual thing more than sexual. When he was in prison for the last two years, I had sex with this man who I believe was going to be a late night creep. I know I'm not in love with him, but I can't seem to stop thinking about him. I continuously delete him from my SNAP friends and then add him back once a month or two. Two passes. I feel so bad talking to him because I don't think my old man is cheating, but it feels so good. On top of that old dude knows that my old man is home and he's okay with having What I can give. What I can give home. I'm at a crossroads here. Oh, yeah? We fuck more than once.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. She said it's an intellectual thing, so. Meaning, like, she is more intellectually, like, yoked with the other guy or her husband?

[Big Tam Bam]

No, she didn't say the other guy was smarter. She just said. Oh, no, she said she do like talking to him. So I'm assuming, like, the conversation is better.

[AJ Holiday]

So she likes talking to the side guy.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, but she also had sex with him.

[AJ Holiday]

Listen, one thing I have realized is that I cannot be with somebody that I deem. Right. Somebody else may deem them smarter, but if I deem you less smarter than me, it's gonna be a problem. Right? You got to be as smarter me as. As smart as me or smarter. Right? Because it is. It's like I. For me, I'm not going to say I'm a. Was it a sapiosexual? I'm not necessarily a sapiosexual, but I do love intellect. Like, I like.

[Big Tam Bam]

I think. I know.

[AJ Holiday]

I like to converse. I like to, you know, bounce ideas off of people. I don't want to always be the one talking. I want you to teach me something. I want to be able to teach you some shit. Now, I have realized that some black men in particular don't like smart women. Like, they. They want to be able to be the one to teach you all the shit, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

And if you know anything off to them that you know anything besides how to make a biscuit, right?

[AJ Holiday]

So I. I can't. I don't want to be the problem solver all the time in my relationship, but I'm naturally a problem solver, right? When it comes to, like, mechanics, like, I'm fixing, You know what I'm saying? So I want my partner to also be able to do those things.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I can't. I cannot deal with somebody that always asking me questions. If you don't Google, Google that.

[Big Tam Bam]

Google free. All right, listen. So I responded to her in the dms and I said, hey, boo, this is definitely a dumpish story. I said, you gonna get your head knocked between the washer and dryer, friend. I said, so why y' all not married after eight years? Do you even want him still? Are you not scared? And then I said, you said, he home from prison. What? Play like that? I ain't say that part. Then I said, what do what he. Oh, I don't know what the. I was trying to say, what do and could. No, I said, what does he. And could he do? No. What could he do to you if he finds out you giving his pom pom away, Tam. And then she responded, okay, I don't know. He makes a lot of excuses. I can tell you that. I'm not getting on the knee or asking again. Yes. I've asked him like two times before.

[AJ Holiday]

And he always asked him to marry.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yes. Girl, Tomato, I love him and I love the bond that we have, but I want more. Life is short. And then responded, no, definitely not scared. He's a sweetheart, just not what he's not when he's drunk. He went to prison for fighting my brother. We've all made amends and treated the situation like adults. Okay? They. Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's back up. Don't, don't, don't forget where you're at. She said she's gotten on knee. On the knee twice.

[Big Tam Bam]

She said, I'm not. I've asked twice, but I didn't get on the knee.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry, friend. All right, so she's asked him twice, and I, I, I would like to know what his response was. Oh, is he saying wait, he trying to wait till you get his money, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

Like he always said? No, that's what she said. She didn't go straight up. No, she ain't going to detail.

[AJ Holiday]

So when she started, she said that that's my husband. So under God's eye, she said that's her husband. They haven't like, officially.

[Big Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, you know, huh. Y' all live together, you know, says now he's living someplace else, kids together. But listen, there's a, there's a lot of perks. People act like marriage is not like, because of the society we live in, right? And something happened to a. Yeah, I need to have paperwork on that ass if something happened, right? But maybe he doesn't have anything to, to leave, right? That's what y' all really should be working on instead of getting married. I do not understand people who. Marriage only costs as much as a marriage license, right? It does not cost thirty, forty, fifty, a hundred thousand dollars, these weddings, right? So if y' all really wanted to be married, it don't cost nothing. For real, you know what I'm saying? To get the marriage license, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

But, but listen, if you leave here, if we together, and you leave here and you ain't leave me with no money. Cremation.

[AJ Holiday]

Cremation. Girl, you, you gonna run end up in one of those unmarked graves, like.

[Big Tam Bam]

Cremated for 1500. I won't put you in no pine box, but I'm definitely gonna put you in the canister.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm about to start selling caskets, man. I might have started a wholesale casket business, because one thing for sure is always dying.

[Big Tam Bam]

Oh, you should do custom caskets.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, girl. I'm about to start ordering in bulk. I seen them.

[Big Tam Bam]

Listen, Alibaba got everything bedazzle your diamond studded. All right, listen to this. All right, so she said, I actually told him I had sex with Pop. I ain't gonna say that. When he was in jail, this person was. While he was in jail waiting to be sentenced. That's his little nickname I gave him. I won't say it, though, but he doesn't know how many times we had sex or that I still talk to him. I keep telling him that I want to keep. To date other people, and he just. And he just keeps telling me, that's what you think you want. Girl, don't play with that.

[AJ Holiday]

He gonna turkey leg hunt you, girl.

[Big Tam Bam]

Clear. That's scary.

[AJ Holiday]

That ain't funny.

[Big Tam Bam]

That ain't funny. That ain't funny. That's not a joke. I mean, it was funny, but it's not a joke. All right? Today, one of my high school boyfriends hit my DMs, and I'm like, what the. We had a long conversation, and he wants to call me back, but he's in a relationship, too. All I know, Tam bam, is that I want to be happy. Everything is finally falling in place with my life and career. I'm. Am I tripping? I need to calm down or take this man as he is or just jump off the porch.

[AJ Holiday]

Nah, dawg. Get out the house. Jump off the porch. I feel like you need to break up with this guy. Okay, you don't like him. You don't like him.

[Big Tam Bam]

You comfortable? That's what it sounds like. You just comfortable with him. He's secure. Yeah, he's someone who's secure.

[AJ Holiday]

I need to know how much money we talking about. Like, it's a lot of other things I want. Like, to calculate to understand why she wants to be with the guy who was in prison. And I understand he went to jail over your ass, right? Because I'm pretty sure the brother. Him and the brother probably started fighting over something between you and him or. Right. Was it over spades game? Like, what the. Was they fighting about? I want to know that, too.

[Big Tam Bam]

I'm sure it has something to do with her.

[AJ Holiday]

Always be like, yeah, it'll be enough information I'd be wanting.

[Big Tam Bam]

We need to let not bitches. We need to let the girls call us. Like, I'm gonna try to get out this week because I have so many questions.

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[Big Tam Bam]

Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

We've got you.

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[Big Tam Bam]

All right, so this one, this is another one from a listener. So I know y' all do dumb stories, but do y' all give dumb advice? Because I had a question.

[AJ Holiday]

We give good bad advice all the time, right?

[Big Tam Bam]

So take it or leave it because I don't know which way it's going to go.

[AJ Holiday]

It's a crapshoot or bad good advice.

[Big Tam Bam]

I. So I know Tam mentioned she had a young thing. I wanted to know what's the age difference? Because I'm 32 and I met a 21 year old. I was going to abort mission when I found out his age. But he conversates better than the 40 something girl I was talking to. And I actually shot my shot at him because he's so fine. He was my maintenance man. He fixed my fridge so I didn't shoot my shot there the first time because I was sick and looking raggedy. I couldn't stop thinking about him. So I tried to have the office share his number, but they would not. No, they not gonna give you the maintenance man phone number. Hold on. Where she. Where was I at? I made it seem like I had a question for him, but they didn't want to share. So I busted my fridge light so they could send him back. I left my number on the fridge and we've been talking ever since. The first question I asked was how old is are you? He said 21. I was going to slowly stop talking to him, but the convo is so, so good. I'm attracted to him, but he's 11 years younger. I usually don't do this. So if y' all want to include this in your show, I Will always.

[AJ Holiday]

Say what they usually don't do. I don't daddy, I don't do this all the time. Slob on my knob.

[Big Tam Bam]

And she said she love us. We love you too, girlfriend. We love you so much. But girl, you wanted that big badge. You was in there with a hammer in your refrigerator, busting a light out, about to cut your self. You got glass with your eggs.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, 30 something and 21 to 11 years, you know, so she's 32, he's 21. You know, women already mature way faster than men. So I personally think that's like kind of, that's too far. 11 years and. And it's not. Because 11 years really isn't the problem. Because if he was in his 30s and she was in her in her 40s, he would probably be a little bit more mature. I know she said that he converses well, are they? But he is in a different life cycle, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, he's working. He's probably still trying to figure himself out. He hasn't. I think men need to reach the stage where they making the money they want to make. Right? So unless you just feel like getting knocked down, I hope you ain't just trying. You're not trying to make this your man.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's the only thing. Like if you're just having sex, I mean I'm 21 is so young to me, but y' all not that far to me. She 31, she 31. 32. If I was a 21 year old, I need to go to jail. That's how I feel. But for her, I mean it's just, she's just having. If she trying to take him serious. Like she said, the conversation so good. Stop talking to that and do it to him and send him back with his two belt. I.

[AJ Holiday]

We could literally have a 21 year old son right now. And if some 30 year old was puncting on my 21 year old boy.

[Big Tam Bam]

About it, you couldn't do a thing. You can't do nothing. Just a grown woman and a grown man by law.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm gonna make her feel like some type of way. Because first of all, why? Because I'm a no, you ain't gonna.

[Big Tam Bam]

Know.

[AJ Holiday]

Why you can't. That nigga probably still live at home. Why you can't find a man your age would be my. Not for. Not for the listener, but that would be my question for my. Somebody's smashing on my son. Like I wanna know what's going on with you and your, your Dating pool. I'd like to know, because I would think that you would want a 40, 50 year old man as opposed to a 20 year old.

[Big Tam Bam]

Well, I don't think she, like, trying to take him. You're not taking him serious. I hope you're not trying to, because it ain't like 21 and he rich like Dre, 21 and he broke. He's a little different, you know? Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So he needs to, like, he needs space to grow, and he probably needs space to grow with somebody his age. That's what I'm saying.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right, Girls, you in there making tick tocks with that? No.

[AJ Holiday]

I wanna. Does she have kids?

[Big Tam Bam]

I don't think so. She didn't say, but I'm sure she don't. She leaving messages on the refrigerator. Ain't no kids in there. Mama hold number on the refrigerator.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, have fun. Strap up.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, you trying to have fun.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't fall in love Them young children be burning, girl.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, baby having the ooh wee. Okay, and in the last one. All right. Hey, y', all, I'm back with another story and would love to remain anonymous. Did we do this one? Hold on. I've been messing around with this dude for a while now, and sometimes we'll have sleepovers. So the last time he stayed at my house, he had fell asleep before me. So I decided to get ready for bed as well. I go to charge his phone like I normally do, and the notification center pops up. I usually don't go through that when he that does happen. But something was telling me to do this this time, and I see Tinder notifications. I started thinking to myself, should I wake him up out of his sleep and be on, or just play it cool and wait till the morning? I decided to play it cool, but as soon as he opens his eyes, I was like, so you got Tinder? He goes to say he doesn't be on the app and haven't a chance to delete it. So I say, if you don't use it, then why do you have an active account and getting notifications? Also, it doesn't take long to delete an app. I'm just trying to figure out why this is on your phone. Then he flips on me saying I shouldn't have went through his phone. But mind you, he's been through mine like four times or more in the past. It wasn't a problem when he was doing it, but now that I'm caught him, he can't take accountability and trying to turn it on me. We haven't spoke all day since that morning. And here we are on day two and still haven't heard anything. The silence is most definitely a response that's just showing me that he don't mind losing me over. Now, I know he's probably trying to do the silent punishment treatment and have me questioning if I was wrong for going through it, but mind you, I don't even have the password to his phone. I just seen a notification center. Is having Tinder still installed on the deal. Is having Tinder still installed a deal breaker for y'? All. I want to hear y' all opinions. Thank you, ladies, so much.

[AJ Holiday]

This has happened to me. So a guy who I was dating, right? I don't know. She didn't say if it was her boyfriend or not or what the actual status is.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, I was messing around with this dude for a while now. See, that's why you gotta. You gotta, like, have real boundaries. Because in, like, clear.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you check yes and no. Are you my boyfriend? Like, we literally gotta get these niggas letters now. So I was dating somebody, and I remember we were sitting at his island at his house, and I was, like, setting up his brokerage account and shit. And the cell phones right there. He's sitting. He's showing me his bank accounts all type of. And what's the. I call it pieces of fish. But plenty of fish alert popped up. And I feel like that's worse than damn Twitter because there's so much recycled peen and pee on.

[Big Tam Bam]

It's just, like, a poor hookup.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like, you down. You dtf if you on plenty of fish. So, yeah, the alert popped up. I'm like, damn, you on plenty of fish. And, you know, like, I'm always, like, calculating the city I live in too. Like, it ain't that many around here.

[Big Tam Bam]

It ain't that much fish. Like, not good ones. If I.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, I should not be with you if you're on a date nap. That's. That's just it. I'm not competing with a bunch of loose on a dating app in the city I live in. That's not that big.

[Big Tam Bam]

So if I got Tinder on my phone right now and I'm dating someone, that's a problem.

[AJ Holiday]

So dating and this is my boyfriend is two different things.

[Big Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm saying this was your man. No, that's what I'm saying. We. This. This is somebody with no title that I'm with. Right. I didn't get mad about it, but it did give me pause. Like, is this Somebody I even want to be with and you on a dating app. Because I feel like men be on them. Dating apps really like different every week. I really feel like that. So yeah, I. I definitely continue to with him for some time, but. But it is one of the reasons why I stopped with him. You know what I'm saying? Because I just feel like he was super dtf. So you just gotta. You gotta. I mean, don't be calling that. Okay. When somebody giving you the silent treatment like that is very manipulated.

[Big Tam Bam]

Loud.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Don't be trying to get him. Get it. Get a response from him. The best way to get a back. If you want him back. Right. Is to go ghost too.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Just no contact either. You don't bother. You have to. You have to pretend like you're not, even though you might be. You're gonna have to try really, really hard to be not bothered.

[Big Tam Bam]

Because I didn't get a new. Get a new. Make the best win. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And it's not like you really went through his phone. If the phone is sitting there and I see the alert pop up, like, I can't help.

[Big Tam Bam]

I've.

[AJ Holiday]

I've seen it now at this point, turn your alerts off. So where not coming up on your phone, girl. My ex. Oh, I sent you this, remember? I sent you this girl Paige one day because you follow her, you knew her and she had. She done. Had popped up on both of this cell phone. Like the call.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I wasn't going through his phone. The phone is on the counter. One day the phone like fell off the back of the couch and it was on the floor. So I went to look at it and pick it up. I thought it was my phone initially, so I don't ever go through people shit. But when you need to know something, the universe has a way of telling you. So do with that information what you will, but he's definitely fucking people off of Tinder. Okay. And if he ain't locked in with you yet, he's looking for somebody else. He. You not the one for him. Get out of there. Get out of there.

[Big Tam Bam]

But see, I think a little differently because I be talking to on apps. I'm single, I'm single. And until you. Until we decide we're in a committed relationship, you have no control over that, you know? So don't be looking at my phone trying to see who else I'm talking to because it might be a better than you. You better tighten up, you know? So who's next? I just feel like. Mind your business. If y' all ain't.

[AJ Holiday]

I feel the same way. My business, y'.

[Big Tam Bam]

All. Not if you. That's what you really need to have a conversation with about what y' all are. Because if y' all just. We ain't going steady. We just around. If y' all just around, then you don't really got no leg to stand on. Question that about his phone. What's going on in it?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Big Tam Bam]

So that's my advice to you. Find out who y' all are to each other. Are y' all exclusive? Do you want to be exclusive? And if y' all been around for a long time and y' all just been messing around a long time, and he says he don't want to be exclusive, then leave him alone because he just.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And that's what they probably Raw. Like, I could feel it in my spirit that she'd be getting hit.

[Big Tam Bam]

Okay. Right. Getting hit. Wrong. That's why she seem like. That's why she feel like, oh, but that. No, that don't mean nothing. No, you just giving up raw pussy, too.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the thing. It should mean something, Right. We be giving men passes on that type of nasty ass activity. Right. Because usually I won't say all women. Right. If we fucking somebody else, we're going to at least use a condom with the next person.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay.

[Big Tam Bam]

At least at the bare minimum, you.

[AJ Holiday]

Will be hitting multiple women. Raw. And sometimes a nigger just never know. So you got to be careful. So if you, like, outside like that, and I'm not saying you outside because you're on a dating app. I understand. Like, you're. You are. You are seriously trying to find a partner. Right?

[Big Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the difference between men and women on those dating apps. Most men on those dating apps, they be in relationships already. And on the dating app, trying to find some other pussy.

[Big Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So even though they may not have, you know, established, like, yes, we are together, it's something going on in that relationship where, like, even with this guy, right? The one who I said the plenty of fish popped up on. I didn't trip on him. I couldn't. But my who phone who's living in the house of me, fell off the couch. And this is on both of these cell phones. Trip city. Oh, yeah, Absolutely. That might have been the last day he was here. Yeah, that's fair to my recollection. Yes. But if it's just somebody that y' all messing with, like, I just. When I hear, like, around. That's not your man.

[Big Tam Bam]

That's not your man.

[AJ Holiday]

So you can't. You can't really trip on him. So if you want your buddy back, your smash buddy, even if y' all go on dates and stuff like that and out to eat and y' all spend a lot of time together and he's at your house and you at his house, you gotta.

[Big Tam Bam]

If.

[AJ Holiday]

If you want a relationship, you have to let him know that. Right. And if he's not for that, get the fuck up out of there. And maybe you go create you an account online and actually find somebody who seriously also wants to be in a relationship with you, because he ain't it, period.

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah. All right, that's the end of our TED Talk.

[AJ Holiday]

That's all we got.

[Big Tam Bam]

That was. That was three of them, but we had an hour. That's it. That's all we got for today.

[AJ Holiday]

So maybe next week we can definitely set it up to where people can call in. I'll figure it out.

[Big Tam Bam]

Okay. Yeah, let's talk.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all want to come on the show next week?

[Big Tam Bam]

Yeah, let's talk. But y' all talk back to us next week, period.

[AJ Holiday]

We can do about five. Yeah, about four or five.

[Big Tam Bam]

That'll be fun.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, hit us up, y'.

[Big Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, well, if you enjoyed this bullshitting ass episode. I enjoyed it. Y' all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast at this Joe Co host AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. If you want to come on the show next week, hit us up in the DM. Send us an email at we talk back, pod.com or ent, whichever one@gmail. Or just slide in the DM on Instagram. Yeah, let us know. Let us know y' all want to.

[Big Tam Bam]

Chat, and we'll set up a call. All right, y', all, it's official. Tam. Bam. I love y' all so very, very much. I appreciate y' all for tuning into us and being our friend. Friends and sisters. Every week, y' all follow us on We Talk Back podcast on Instagram and also check out our YouTube page. We Talk Back Podcast TV. Yep. On.

[AJ Holiday]

It's just We Talk Back TV.

[Big Tam Bam]

We Talk Back TV on YouTube. All right, gang, I love y'. All. Remember, speak now and never hold them.

[AJ Holiday]

Dumb stories, because I be liking those things, man. I really. Because I ain't a dumb no more. I'll have y' all know God ain't.

[Big Tam Bam]

Through with me yet.

[AJ Holiday]

I was one like last year, but not barely, but still borderline dumb, bitch. Okay, you gotta get the up out.

[Big Tam Bam]

Of there man deuces y'. All. Bye.

[AJ Holiday]

We Talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Thanks for listening and celebrating five years of the Black Effect Podcast Network with us. Keep following because the next five years are about to be even bigger.

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[Big Tam Bam]

Wednesdays on BET an all new episode.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Of 106 in Sports from executive producers.

[Big Tam Bam]

LeBron James and Maverick Carter, Ashley Nicole Moss and Cam Newton.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Break down top moments in sports, culture and Entertainment. Check out 106 in sports on BET.

[Big Tam Bam]

And next day on BET plus this.

[AJ Holiday]

Is an iHeart podcast.