We Talk Back — “Settlement vs. Alignment”
Release Date: October 23, 2025
Hosts: AJ Holiday & Big Tam Bam
Network: The Black Effect & iHeartPodcasts
Main Theme & Purpose
In this lively, unfiltered episode, hosts TamBam and AJ kick it about the messy intersections of settling vs. aligning in relationships, self-care, boundaries, the pressures and pitfalls of dating, and the broader struggles (and laughs) of being unapologetically Black women moving through the Sea of Men. With signature humor and honesty, they guide listeners through recent viral stories, hard truths about discipline and self-worth, and real-life listener dilemmas—serving up insight, jokes, and a hefty dose of “girl, don’t be dumb.”
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Catching Up & Self-Care Realness
(02:42–06:48)
- Rest Is Revolutionary: AJ shares a restorative weekend sleeping in, underscoring a need for discipline but also the value of listening to your body.
- On Discipline: Both hosts confess struggles with routine and self-motivation, with AJ noting, “My only goal right now is discipline. ...I want it. ...I don’t like being tied down to a thing either, because I get bored real fast.” (04:32)
- Humor & Relatability: Vitamin D woes, bed-bound vitamin routines, and aging—hosted with a comedic, self-aware flair.
Moving Drama & “Say Something!” Goals
(06:48–14:02)
- Moving Mayhem: TamBam humorously recounts driving a 40-foot moving truck and the inevitability of arguing with anyone who helps you move. “If you could get through a move with a person and not argue with them at least once, you are a boss.” (07:13)
- Advocating for Yourself: Both hosts share moments of regret when they didn’t speak up—whether over mishandled groceries or DPW hygiene—and commit to saying something in the future.
- “From that point on, I said, if I see somebody doing some shit, I’ma ask somebody doing it right then and there. ...That’s an example, bitch. I’m saying something to your ass.” — AJ (12:10)
- Gen Z “Young Folks” Antics: Pet peeve—workers placing dirty cell phones in food prep areas.
Stupid Internet News: Viral Takes & Hot Topics
(19:27–29:32)
1. Models Upset About “Non-Model” Runway Slots
- Viral model Avery Husselman criticizes Victoria’s Secret for letting Angel Reese (WNBA) and Suni Lee (Olympic gymnast) walk the runway. “No one would let a model play in the WNBA.” — Avery Husselman (21:45)
- TamBam claps back: “It’s not a monolith, people. Anybody can be a model as long as they are hired to walk they ass down that shit with whatever they put on. So sorry, boo.” (21:22)
- AJ: “I can do your job, you can’t do mine. ...Can you shoot a basketball?” (20:46)
2. Turkey Leg Hut Scandal
- Owners’ messy breakup and legal woes—female co-owner allegedly harbored a fugitive boyfriend wanted for brutal assault.
- Both ponder: What makes women risk everything for men? “If you hiding a [man] in your house right now from the police...get him out of there right now. You’re going to jail.” — TamBam (26:51)
- Reflect on cycles of low self-esteem and abusive relationships: “You can have all the money in the world...something you are not loving on yourself and you looking for something outside of you.” — AJ (28:11)
3. “He Don’t Want Me” — The Viral Cruise Wife
- A TikTok goes viral of a woman realizing mid-vacation her new husband is emotionally checked out.
- TamBam: “They might just be going through a rough patch. I’ve never seen one marriage that existed where they was just in love the whole time.” (31:51)
- AJ notes the disturbing fat-shaming in the comments: “To make that the reason why her husband probably doesn’t like her is very mean...They both can stand, and so can I...” (32:58)
Body Image, Weight, and Relationship Dynamics
(32:40–38:16)
- The hosts share personal struggles with weight gain, yoyo dieting, and getting “body done” vs. embracing discipline.
- TamBam: “I did that 75 hard, and I did so good. And then I went and did 75 fat.” (34:44)
- Insight: Relationship health and personal health intertwine, but it’s important to be accountable for your own choices.
Listener Letters & “Dumb Story” Advice
(43:40–70:38)
1. “Pseudo-Husband” Dilemma
- Listener in an 8-year, non-legal “marriage” with a man who’s been to prison for fighting her brother.
- She’s craving intellectual connection and has been sneaking around with another man.
- AJ: “One thing I have realized is that I cannot be with somebody that I deem—right, somebody else may deem them smarter—but if I deem you less smarter than me, it’s gonna be a problem.” (46:12)
- TamBam: “You gonna get your head knocked between the washer and dryer, friend.” (47:31)
- Consensus: She’s comfortable, not happy, and she needs to decide if she’s aligning or just settling.
2. 32-Year-Old Listener Dating 21-Year-Old Maintenance Man
- Listener breaks her own fridge light to see fine, much younger maintenance man—asks if she’s wild for being interested.
- TamBam: “Girl, you wanted that big badge. ...You got glass with your eggs.” (58:19)
- AJ: “Women already mature way faster than men. ...He needs space to grow with somebody his age.” (59:36)
3. Tinder Notification Drama
- Listener finds out her “dude she’s been messing with” is active on Tinder.
- AJ draws a line between “dating” and “boyfriend”: “I should not be with you if you’re on a dating app. That’s just it. ...If it’s just somebody that y’all messing with, [that’s] not your man.” (64:48, 70:04)
- TamBam reminds women not to take exclusivity for granted: “Mind your business. ...If y’all ain’t going steady, we just around, then you don’t really got no leg to stand on.” (67:18)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Sometimes when your body tell you to be still, just do it. If you don’t, it will do it for you.” — TamBam (05:44)
- “Speak up, don’t just let people do you any kind of way. ...That’s another one of my goals is to say something.” — AJ (10:45)
- “I always put [screws] in a Ziploc bag and tape it to whatever it is.” — TamBam’s moving tip (08:46)
- “You gotta have some thick skin. ...I’m pretty sure Angel Reese didn’t get hazed. So maybe that’s the hard work she’s referring to...” — AJ on the modeling industry (22:57)
- “Imagine in your house arguing with a [fugitive] you hiding...You need to be the most quietest around, but you in here arguing...” — AJ (27:31)
- “Don’t be giving no tips up front. ...No, I’m not giving you a tip before the service.” — TamBam on shady massages (15:22)
- “If you want a relationship, you have to let him know that. ...If he’s not for that, get the fuck up out of there.” — AJ, relationship realness (70:21)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Catching Up & Body Talk: 02:41–06:48
- Moving Drama & “Speak Up” Stories: 06:48–14:02
- Dentist & Hygiene Tangent: 17:30–19:27
- Stupid Internet News (Models, Turkey Leg Hut, Cruise Wife): 19:27–29:32
- Weight, Discipline, Dieting: 32:40–38:16
- Listener Letters & Dumb Stories: 43:40–70:38
Tone & Style
- Funky, deeply candid, irreverent and affirming—no holds barred on sex, love, money, and self-worth.
- AJ and TamBam’s chemistry makes even “dumb bitch stories” feel like a safe space for growth and laughter.
Closing & Next Episode
- The hosts tease next week’s show about “ghosts and ancestors” with a special Black psychic guest.
- Invitation to listeners to call in and “talk back,” continuing the cycle of raw, real, and relatable sisterhood.
Missed the episode? This summary delivers all the laughter, insight, and tea—minus the ads and intros. Tune in Thursdays for more!