Soft Girl Era Error

Summary

Podcast Title: We Talk Back
Host/Authors: TamBam and AJ Holiday
Episode: Soft Girl Era Error
Release Date: July 17, 2025
Produced By: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

---

Introduction

In the "Soft Girl Era Error" episode of the We Talk Back podcast, hosts TamBam and AJ Holiday delve into the nuanced discussion surrounding the concept of the "soft girl era" and its implications for black women. Through candid conversation, humor, and personal anecdotes, they explore themes of femininity, self-care, relationships, financial independence, and the influence of social media on modern black womanhood.

---

Defining the Soft Girl Era vs. Soft Life

The episode begins with AJ referencing Ari Lennox's song "Hurry Up," which serves as a catalyst for their exploration of the "soft girl era."

• AJ Holiday (01:16): "But is this soft girl era or soft life? It almost feels like it's exclusively black women. Like, you really only see black women craving this stress-free, soft, delicate."

TamBam agrees, highlighting the cultural specificity of the term:

• Tam Bam (02:04): "Only strong black women, you know? And that should be an adjective attributed to our black men, not to us."

They discuss how the soft girl era emerged as black women sought to redefine strength by embracing softness, delicacy, and self-care, countering the longstanding expectation to be the "strong black woman."

---

Cultural Expectations and Gender Roles

The hosts critique societal norms that label only black women as "strong," contrasting with other racial groups where such descriptors are seldom used for women.

• Tam Bam (02:09): "No strong Hispanic woman, only strong black woman."

AJ expands on this by discussing the depiction of black women married to white men on social media, suggesting that these portrayals contribute to the soft girl narrative by showcasing a life of luxury and reduced personal stress.

• AJ Holiday (04:09): "And then you have black girls now who have their Instagrams booming because they are now married to white men."

---

Self-Reliance and Financial Independence

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the importance of black women providing for themselves to achieve a "soft life." AJ emphasizes the necessity of financial independence, contemplating whether men are the sole providers of a soft life.

• AJ Holiday (05:27): "I'm going to get one because I feel like I deserve that. But I realize if I can't get a rich nigga, I have to be one."
• Tam Bam (04:58): "I don't mind either way."

TamBam underscores the shift towards self-care and self-provisioning as essential steps toward personal well-being.

• Tam Bam (04:58): "We are being softer to ourselves. And I think that's the first step."

---

Mental Health and True Wealth

The conversation transitions to the concept of wealth, distinguishing between material possessions and true wealth, which encompasses mental health, happiness, and community.

• Tam Bam (12:07): "You're rich in peace, health, and love. If you have a community that supports and loves you every day, you are rich."
• AJ Holiday (12:54): "They’re just trying to make you sit still, because I don’t have no kids. If I got a pet, I’ll take the pet with me or get somebody else to take care of them while I go do whatever I wanna do."

They argue that while money can provide temporary happiness, it does not equate to true well-being, which is rooted in mental health and supportive relationships.

---

Social Media's Influence and Authenticity

AJ and TamBam examine the role of social media in shaping perceptions of the soft life, questioning the authenticity of the lifestyles portrayed online.

• AJ Holiday (38:31): "These women who have these soft lives on social media, they're making money right off that lifestyle. Is that the real image, or are they actually stressed in real life?"
• Tam Bam (37:32): "I don’t use social media as a baseline for how I’m living my life. Everybody's showing their highlight reel anyway."

They caution listeners against comparing their lives to curated online personas, emphasizing that everyone experiences stress regardless of their outward appearance.

---

Relationships and Expectations

A core theme of the episode is the negotiation of expectations in romantic relationships. AJ discusses the challenge of balancing personal ambitions with the desire for a supportive partner.

• AJ Holiday (07:03): "I have to give myself. Because I have had this expectation from men, right, that they're supposed to save me."
• Tam Bam (25:35): "No, sometimes you also have to have realistic expectations."

They debate the practicality of finding partners who can provide a soft life, contemplating alternatives such as viewing marriage as a business partnership.

• AJ Holiday (10:55): "Marriage is for business."
• Tam Bam (11:00): "You could just build a business instead of a relationship."

The hosts stress the importance of mutual support and realistic expectations, cautioning against entering marriages solely for financial security.

---

Self-Care and Softness

Self-care emerges as a pivotal aspect of cultivating a soft life. TAMBam shares her approach to self-care, advocating for practices that enhance personal well-being without becoming overly dependent on external support.

• AJ Holiday (06:10): "I can change my tire now. I can do that by myself."
• Tam Bam (06:10): "I don't want to work on a car like my nails. I can't."

They discuss various self-care routines, from physical activities like yoga and gym workouts to mental health practices, emphasizing that self-care is about nurturing oneself rather than adhering to an aesthetic.

---

Challenges of the Soft Life

The hosts acknowledge the inherent challenges in striving for a soft life, particularly within the black community where societal pressures and limited representation can make this pursuit difficult.

• Tam Bam (33:23): "If you are out here dating, I put all your expectations on the table, day one. If the person who's in front of you isn't for that shit, good riddance."
• AJ Holiday (35:02): "I might not have to do that for somebody, but you might have to do it for the type of person you're looking for."

They explore the societal and interpersonal obstacles that black women face when seeking a balance between ambition and softness, highlighting the need for supportive communities and realistic self-expectations.

---

Conclusion: Embracing a Soft Mindset

In their closing remarks, TamBam and AJ Holiday converge on the idea that the soft life is less about external markers and more about an internal mindset focused on peace, health, and personal fulfillment.

• AJ Holiday (41:45): "It's a mindset. A soft life is a mindset."
• Tam Bam (42:02): "Your soft girl era is wealth. Get some solid rest."

They encourage listeners to prioritize mental well-being, realistic goals, and personal happiness over societal expectations and material wealth.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• AJ Holiday (01:16): "But is this soft girl era or soft life? It almost feels like it's exclusively black women craving this stress-free, soft, delicate."
• Tam Bam (02:04): "Only strong black women, you know? And that should be an adjective attributed to our black men, not to us."
• Tam Bam (12:07): "You're rich in peace, health, and love. If you have a community that supports and loves you every day, you are rich."
• AJ Holiday (38:31): "These women who have these soft lives on social media, they're making money right off that lifestyle. Is that the real image, or are they actually stressed in real life?"
• AJ Holiday (41:45): "It's a mindset. A soft life is a mindset."
• Tam Bam (42:02): "Your soft girl era is wealth. Get some solid rest."

---

Final Thoughts

The "Soft Girl Era Error" episode of We Talk Back offers a thoughtful examination of what it means to navigate the pressures of modern womanhood within the black community. Through their engaging dialogue, TamBam and AJ Holiday provide listeners with valuable insights into balancing strength and softness, the importance of self-care, and the pursuit of genuine happiness over superficial markers of success. By addressing these complex topics with authenticity and humor, the hosts empower women to redefine their paths towards personal and collective greatness.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Carlos Miller]

Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way. Because, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out [e-mail] welcome to We Talk.

[AJ Holiday]

Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect. What's up, y'? All? It's your girl A.J. talk to Em.

[Tam Bam]

Hey, girlfriend. Unapologetically. Hey, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

We back again.

[Tam Bam]

We talked back. And I love y' all so much.

[AJ Holiday]

Hater.

[Tam Bam]

You hate that they love me too. What we talking? I.

[AJ Holiday]

All right. So y' all today's topic. Okay. What I want to talk about, y' all know Ari Lennox got her little Hurry up, put me in my soft.

[Tam Bam]

I love that song, girl. I listened to that song on repeat in the gym.

[AJ Holiday]

You manifest in the soft life.

[Tam Bam]

She said, yeah. She be like, I ain't trying to take out this trash. I'm trying to throw some ass, period. Period. I love that song.

[AJ Holiday]

But is this soft girl era or soft life? Is that it almost feels like it's exclusively like to black women. Like, you really only see black women, like, craving this stress free, soft, delicate.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. Because so long, like most of my life, I aspire to be a strong black woman. Really, you know, black herd, you know, that was like the epitome of black womanness. Like, she's such a strong black woman. And then as I became an adult, I realized why you never hear any other race of women called strong. You never heard a strong, strong Asian lady. You ain't never heard that shit.

[AJ Holiday]

And Hispanic women be on the roof with their husband, okay? And they still don't be saying that shit.

[Tam Bam]

No strong Hispanic woman, only strong black woman, you know? And that should be a adjective attributed to our black men, not to us. And I think that's why soft girl era became a thing for us, because we want to be seen as delicate and something to be honored and protected and cared for and treated like a flower, you know? And that's what I want, and that's what I'm. You know, so that's where that soft girl shit came from.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, you know, there's a lot of social media accounts I follow, right? Some black, some I like the lifestyle, social medias, like, I. Y', all, I never a hater, okay? When I see somebody doing some, I know, like, my turn is coming, right? So I just look to see how I'm gonna decorate my mansion. All the things. So I follow this one. I think she might. Oh, you send me her Alana, Elena, whatever her last name is. I love to see her breathe. I love to see her live. And because her life, so luxurious, so soft, okay? Everything is white. Her bedroom is white. The kitchen is white. The dog's black. A little ugly ass pug. And she's just like super luxurious, right? And then you have like the black girls now who have their like Instagrams booming because they are now married to white men. And now those are the women, right? Because on one other episode we talked about divesting. I would say those are the women who have divested, right? And the only problem I have with women who have divested out the black community is why you still talking about it if you don't fuck with black people? Black men, you know, they got the whole dusty thing. You know, they talk about how the men are dusties. I had a baby for a dusty. Now I got a soft life. I follow some of those accounts too, because it's entertaining to me. You know what I'm saying? So my other question is, is the man, the man the only person that could provide a black woman with a soft life?

[Tam Bam]

No, I think we've been trying to provide it to ourselves, you know, Like, I see a lot of people like doing self care, you know, more self care. Things that make them sipping matcha, right, In a robe and painting at their home, you know, things like that. So we are being softer to ourselves. And I think that's the first step, you know, is treating ourselves when, you know, like another thing that I was like, I N D E P E. That was like they were setting us up. They were setting us up the whole time. Independent. We should not be independent. We should be cared for and loved and nurtured and provided for. I mean, not saying that we shouldn't do anything but sit around and be pretty, even though I aspire to that. But, you know, we should be careful, like a delicate little flower.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm a super strong black woman, right? And I hate that, you know, but I see what it has done to her now in her older age. Like, she wasn't. She had to work super hard and fight for everything that she had, even while being married. I don't want that life. So, I mean, I'm that way, too. Like, I do all the things, y'. All. If it's an American made car, I could fix it. Okay? I will be underneath, right?

[Tam Bam]

She be out there with a Newport hanging out her mouth talking about it. Might cost you a little. Might cost you a lot.

[AJ Holiday]

Me, the carburetor is gonna cost you. Y' all for real. I got one of them 500 jacks that you could pick your fucking car up and spin that bitch around. Like, I really be fixing cars. And I also want a partner who knows how to do those things, too. Like, I like men who can do things, who could build some shit, who could fix some things. Like, I don't want to always spend money to do stuff right.

[Tam Bam]

I don't mind either way.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, a super soft life to where I didn't have to do those things. I probably would still do some of them for myself because it makes me feel good to take some shit apart and put it back together.

[Tam Bam]

I don't want to work on a car like my nails. I can't. But I know if, in the event that I need to change my own tire, I can do that.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, I thought you was about to say you're gonna call me.

[Tam Bam]

No, I can change my tire now. If the start smoking, I will start. I will call you. But the tire, I can do that by myself. I can jack it up. First of all, you don't jack it up. First, you loosen the lugs first, then you jack it up. Then you take the lugs off, take the tire off, get the replacement tire, put it on, tighten the lugs, drop it, tighten it the rest of the way. Bam, bitch. I don't need you to do that for me. I can do it. I think that's right. Something like that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So I just.

[Tam Bam]

I don't really.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't dream of a life of labor. Okay? Y', all, I do not like working for anybody. I know that about myself. Like, no, I don't want to just sit at the house, but I. I would like somebody to. Somebody or me. What I've realized recently is that what I want, I'm gonna have to give myself. Because I have had this expectation from men, right, that they're supposed to save me. Like, y' all supposed to do everything I need you to do. Like, where the is my husband to do all this shit? I don't feel like doing, like, carrying all these bags, like, washing my car.

[Tam Bam]

And putting the gas in it. I hate that shit. I hate putting on my own gas in my car. And I hate washing my own car. It would be nice to have a man that would just like, keep my. Our cars.

[AJ Holiday]

I really just. I'm really. It's those things, but it's really like the financial part, like, where is like, everybody can't have a rich man. Okay, y', all, we are real delusional as women if we think that all of us can get a rich man. It's just not gonna happen. But I'm gonna get one. But I'm gonna get one because I feel like I deserve that. Right? But I realize if I can't get a rich nigga, I got to be one. I gotta be the rich nigga.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So now.

[Tam Bam]

So you talking about rich and money because there's different situations.

[AJ Holiday]

No, actually, I'm talking about finances right now.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. To get the life I want. I have realized as of late that I'm gonna have to be the one to give it to me. I was waiting, like, to try to build with another person. Because, listen, this life is based off a double occupancy, okay? It is just hard trying to do some shit by yourself. I see the younger generation, like the. Like my niece, she's 27. Those. That generation, they're getting married and having kids.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? I met a 28 year old yesterday. He's married a deacon. You know what I'm saying? Like, just the things he was talking about. He has his head on right for his age. So imagine where he would be at in 10 years. We moved that window. Okay? So if you didn't meet your husband in college, it's over for your ass, okay? You're gonna be just like us.

[Tam Bam]

You never know.

[AJ Holiday]

So I'm like my niece, I'm trying to tell her the one that's in college. You gotta balance it. Do not listen to my mama when she say, girl, get your go to school. Don't focus on no boys. No focus on the niggas too. You gotta find balance. You gotta do both and. Cause white girls go to college and they come out with a goddamn husband. So I'm gonna need you to do that because it's easier to build.

[Tam Bam]

But don't just marry somebody so you can have a husband you gotta like.

[AJ Holiday]

But you amongst all of these people, there's only five characteristics of humans in the world, I believe. And you could find those. The whatever characteristic you need, you could find that in about 100, 200, 300,000.

[Tam Bam]

Think about who you was at 20. What, 21 in college or 1920. Yeah, but are you. You're not that person now. Nine times out of 10, if you marry the person that you like in college, you're going to be divorced by the time you're 35.

[AJ Holiday]

That's fine, but you'll have assets. Do you see what I'm saying? At least you're gonna have.

[Tam Bam]

You might. You might have some master.

[AJ Holiday]

If you marry the right person. Y' all both get y' all degree. Maybe y' all get a degree in some real shit. Like, this is life planning, right? This is what. This is what we're missing in our community. Like helping the younger people plan their life out based on what you didn't do. So, yes, I am going to tell my niece, find you a husband while you're in college. Y' all can do all the life things together. And if you do end up being divorced by 35, you. You'll have some property. Okay? Y' all having something nice? My homegirls who, who got married at 21 or had kids and, and committed relationships up until now, like, one of my friends just got divorced. Her and her. Her and I. I know her husband. I met her husband. I met her through her husband. Um, but they had a lot. They had a nice chunk of shit. They had an amicable breakup, you know what I'm saying? And they had a nice chunk of money to split.

[Tam Bam]

To split.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? Like, neither one of them are struggling.

[Tam Bam]

But he with a kid and she. It sound like you telling what, you could just find a business partner.

[AJ Holiday]

That is what marriage is. We already talked about how love is for poor people. Marriage is for. Is a business.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, but I'm saying, like, they could just get a business partner.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, bitch, I've been wanting to break out your ass.

[Tam Bam]

Me too. Same shit. Same shit, though. That's what I'm saying. Same shit.

[AJ Holiday]

It's a little different when you contractually obligated to up fuck with somebody. Okay?

[Tam Bam]

But a marriage license is nothing but a contract.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what it is. So why not just go ahead and do it?

[Tam Bam]

That's what I'm saying. I get what you're saying.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

But I'm also saying you could just build a business, you know, instead of a relationship, instead of marriage. Because what about God in the union? And not just looking at it as a business opportunity and looking at it as.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, most women are trying. Like most women out here are saying now, man, that I am not married for love anymore. I'm not dating for love anymore. Now everybody's dating for stuff.

[Tam Bam]

No, that's the wrong idea. I think if you do it just like that, it never turns out right. And then you'll have stuff and that's it. And I always say, like, if you only have stuff, you're poor.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tam Bam]

So soft places, I know people heard that was like, me, I got all the money I could ever want, but it's people who have all the money and are very sad and very miserable and ready to kill themselves. You know, your true wealth does not lie in the tangible things. Your wealth is like, you're healthy. Are you happy?

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely.

[Tam Bam]

You're happy. You got a. You're a sound mind and body. That's your wealth. That is your real wealth right now.

[AJ Holiday]

Aston Martin wouldn't make you happier.

[Tam Bam]

Absolutely it would make me happier. But if I had an Aston Martin and I was sad and I was depressed and my mental health wasn't right, it wouldn't matter. I could drive it all over the place. It wouldn't change a thing. Find somebody. Find somebody right now who's sick and ask them, would an Aston Martin make them happier? Hell, no.

[Carlos Miller]

Hey, fam. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. If you're like me, you're always thinking about how to level up your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just starting in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long term success. They've been a steady presence in our community and they know having the right support early can make all the difference.

[Tam Bam]

State.

[Carlos Miller]

State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know that the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's all about staying focused, staying grounded, and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com.

[AJ Holiday]

I think that people who probably were born into money, they feel like money doesn't bring happiness. That is some money absolutely can buy happiness.

[Tam Bam]

It can buy momentary happiness.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what life is. Life ain't nothing but a bunch of turmoil and struggle and little spurts of happiness. That is living. That's whether you have money or you don't have money. What I.

[Tam Bam]

There's a certain level of peace that comes. Yeah. Money cannot bring you.

[AJ Holiday]

That is some. You can go to a beach, buy you a beach house. You wake up to the blue ocean every day. You know what?

[Tam Bam]

The. The ocean, That's a person sitting on the ocean right now, ready to jump in and drown their self.

[AJ Holiday]

They ain't selfish. That's why. That's a different type of person. We don't even talk about people with mental health issues. We talking about sound.

[Tam Bam]

I'm just saying fine, you know, if you can get to a place in your. Your mental health and your frequency and that money don't provide the happiness, then when you get the money, it's just that much better, you know? But don't.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what is now, though, right before. That's what I'm saying. People who are born into money, like, they're the brats, is what I'm talking about. I'm not a brat. You know what I'm saying? If I run into a man with money tomorrow, if I run into a bag of my own tomorrow, I'm not a brat, you know, Like, I've already built my. You can tell a lot about a person when they broke and when they got money. They say you meet the real people when they actually have the resources to be the asshole they want to be. I'm not an asshole. Is my job.

[Tam Bam]

You ain't got the resources yet. We'll see.

[AJ Holiday]

I would not be an asshole with money, Bitch. A little bit. I'm giving. Anytime somebody needs something, you can fucking have it. So imagine if I have actual real. Some real bans on these bitches. Like, y' all ain't seen nothing yet. If y' all think I'm a problem now, right?

[Tam Bam]

I just think, you know, the truest form of happiness is not. I mean, financial. Don't get me wrong. It's always good to have the things. But that. Listen, I just feel like when you had the things, think about something you always wanted, you got it. And then after a while, it was just another thing you had.

[AJ Holiday]

I love my cat. I've been wanting a cat for a long time.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that's different, because it's kind of like. Cause animals are like family. They're living, breathing things. I'm talking about like that. That bag you wanted, or that car you wanted. Wanted. Or that watch, you know, like, it was like the best thing in the world to you. Like, oh, I got that watch, or I got that bag, or I got that car. And then after a while, I Was like, you didn't even wash the car.

[AJ Holiday]

So I. So I said Aston Martin, right?

[Tam Bam]

But that.

[AJ Holiday]

That's not the type of things I aspire to. Aspire to have. I want experiences, right?

[Tam Bam]

You want free to have that money.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I'm not a materialistic type of person. So it would never be stuff for real. It's experiences, right? You got people committing to religions that they haven't actually studied. I want to go places and see what's actually like. I wanna. I wanna actually be able to touch things that money buys you. Like just freedom. Yes, exactly. To do what you wanna do. Like you got white boys who do deep diving all day. Like that's their job. Because they. They were afforded a life where they can just think. They have time to think, right? And they just go do whatever their wildest dreams. That is what I would. That is the soft life for me. Me waking up. Waking up and being able to do whatever it is that I want with my time. Right. So. And it could also still make money. But when you are in a rat race, you don't have time to think. You don't have time to.

[Tam Bam]

You just gotta do.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Especially when you have kids, you know, shout out to all the moms and dads out there that like sacrificing their own ambitions and goals because they want to see their kids be the best versions of themselves. There's a lot of that, you know, it's a lot of that going on where people have to put their own dreams to the side so the kids can have some, you know, I respect that so much. Cause I ain't got no baby to worry about. My dreams is my dreams. Like right now I like. I'm traveling between New York, Charlotte, Columbia, back and forth. All the fuck I want freely. Because I don't have a child who's depending on me to provide her stability. Him or her stability. So, you know, I respect that so much.

[AJ Holiday]

I seen this off topic a little bit. I seen this post the other day on Instagram and the girl was like, y' all ladies, y' all be careful. Cause a lot of men just want to sit your ass down. They see you got movement, you bounce it from here to this place, doing this and that. And they. And it could be a subconscious thing. It may not be. I always talk about the subconscious mind. So shit, you not even realizing you thinking about, right. He could just wanna sit your ass down, put a baby in you. He's just jealous that you got all this moving. He probably got kids of his own. Already. But he's jealous of you being so free.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

And when I heard that shit, I was like, that is what I have been experiencing. I believe in my relationships.

[Tam Bam]

They're just trying to make you sit still.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Because I. You know, I don't have no kids. If I got a pet, shit, I'll take the pet with me or get somebody else to take care of them while I go do whatever I wanna do. But I can do what I want to do when I want to do it. I can see how somebody can be jealous of that.

[Tam Bam]

There's a softness in that, though. You know, maybe you're already living your soft. Girl, I've been.

[AJ Holiday]

I've actually been doing what I want to do for a long time. So now this. This. This year, I'm just straight grind. Straight grind mode. Because I have been just waking up when I want to. Just no straight. No discipline. So that's another thing that I'm trying to change about me, too. Like, I. I do aspire to be the 6:00am Millionaire. Right. I'm waking up between 5 and 6O.

[Tam Bam]

Stick your face in the Saratoga water.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Get the. Get the hot, girl.

[Tam Bam]

I know you ain't. Cause your eyelashes is coming off in that bowl.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't sleep with the lashes on. So when I wake up.

[Tam Bam]

You put on eyelashes every morning?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, Damn near.

[Tam Bam]

See, I ain't got that kind of thing. Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

Every day. Unless I do hot yoga. Yeah. I be having lashes on every day. It only take a minute. It only takes a minute. I put my eyebrows on every day, too.

[Tam Bam]

Every day.

[AJ Holiday]

I've been doing my eyebrows every day since sixth grade.

[Tam Bam]

Shame.

[AJ Holiday]

I could do with my eye closes. Picasso.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, I wanted. Like, I was getting. I love eyelash, right? So I was getting the eyelashes done, but that is. Why is it so high?

[AJ Holiday]

See, you wouldn't have to worry about that if, you know, you do the ones.

[Tam Bam]

You do strips or you do strips. So I. I'm liking the. I know this is off topic, girl, but we girls. So the ones that they're putting underneath, but I also don't have that seem like even more time in the morning.

[AJ Holiday]

Are they the same? Are they shaped?

[Tam Bam]

It's like little clusters that go underneath and they're like, long, and then they get shorter as they go.

[AJ Holiday]

I think it's the same clusters. You can either put them on top or at the bottom. There's no difference.

[Tam Bam]

No, I think these are specifically for underneath. But maybe.

[AJ Holiday]

Are they thinner? Are the bulbs of the top thinner or something?

[Tam Bam]

Girl, don't give me the line. I don't know. But all I know is they look good. And it's half the price of not talking to. Listen, I respect you lash girlies and y' all get y' all money, but I just can't. It's like. And then if you miss a week, it's more. You gotta be consistent on time.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, the filling.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Cause they. If they got a filling, your whole eyelash, That's a full set. That's a new set.

[Tam Bam]

All right. Me and this girl fell out. Let me just tell this, because she was doing my eyelashes and I had my fill in booked, right? And then on the day of my booking, her kid got sick. She said she can't do it. I get it. You know, you gotta take care of your baby. So she was like, I can get you in next Wednesday. I was like, okay. So then when it's time for me to come in, she's trying to charge me for a three week filling. And I was like, no, I was booked for two weeks. She's like, but it's been three. Who fucking fault is that?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, if I really could have just not come back here and got my shit done by somebody else two weeks ago. But here you are trying to charge me the full price when you missed my.

[Tam Bam]

When you canceled my appointment.

[AJ Holiday]

Bitches and y' all maintenance and like. And you in that profession, right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I know.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, I do people here, but I don't really solicit. So if somebody asks me about a wig or so on or something, I might do their hair. But y' all people license.

[Tam Bam]

I fair, though. I'm fair license.

[AJ Holiday]

Tammy always call me and ask me if she tripping before she trip on y'. All. I just want y' all to know, you got a moment. She will call and tell me what the situation is. I be like.

[Tam Bam]

I be like, do you have the bandwidth?

[AJ Holiday]

Why would it. You know? Yeah. So y' all people who offer services between y' all and y' all clients.

[Tam Bam]

I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

And I know I send you posts sometimes with people going off on a beautician and the nails child.

[Tam Bam]

And that's why I have to worry.

[AJ Holiday]

About that type of shit.

[Tam Bam]

I hope we like, listen, God, everybody bow your heads. Bless me in this show in our YouTube checks so that I ain't got to stand behind a chair no more. In Jesus name, Amen, Father God. Because that shit is stressful. And it's not just because of hair. Cause I enjoy making women feel beautiful. I love when a woman Walks out and she feeling herself. That make me feel feel like a proud mama watching my baby, you know, walk down the stage getting their diploma. But what I don't like is standing over somebody head all the time. Sometimes I'll be like, I could Donkey Kong this bitch at the top of right now.

[AJ Holiday]

You know me, Me and my best friend Priscilla have literally been doing hair since first grade. Her older sister is a licensed cosmetologist. So she, you know, she went on, she got, she's a beautician as well. I never wanted to do that because it's not about standing out. It's about the customer service aspect of having to deal with black women in their hair. Like, you can do somebody's hair on Friday. I, I like when I worked in, in, in the office, I would be doing people's hair and there, like I could do a hair on Friday. And you come back on Monday looking, I'm like, don't tell nobody I did your hair. Cuz you done let some. Pulling that all weekend. Now you looking at me like I'm supposed to refresh. That's not how you looked when you let. I'm not a licensed professional. You see what I'm saying? I'm not licensed, so the same rules don't apply to me. I'm not redoing your hair after you unless somebody pulling your shit all weekend. Are you acting like I ain't sewing?

[Tam Bam]

Let them pull it. I'll redo it. Book it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but they didn't. When I say customer service aspect, it's people wanting to finesse you out of a service and acting like, oh, what is lifting over here and all this? Like you have to be able to do a little bit of your own maintenance.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I agree.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? You can't expect your hair to look fresh every day for two to three weeks.

[Tam Bam]

See, there was. All right, I know we're off the.

[AJ Holiday]

Topic, but super off.

[Tam Bam]

We used to. It used to when everything was pumped up, you know, like pump it up. Like your hair would last two to three weeks.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but if you're not getting a scrunch, baby, you want to fucking bust down with a lace front that only lasts a week. Especially if you're a gym girly, it's going to be lifting in no time. You not going to get that. Like, that's like you at the fucking live show, baby.

[Tam Bam]

My lace was fucked up because I was doing my 75 hard stomach flat. But yeah, my lace was up the next day and I spent A thousand dollars.

[AJ Holiday]

Is that your fault or the beautician?

[Tam Bam]

It's mine. You know, I understood. I didn't call her because I knew.

[AJ Holiday]

I sweat somebody else would call her. That's the customer service shit I would not be wanting to deal with from people about they dating.

[Tam Bam]

Soft girl is soft life. Scaring off men are attracting the right ones.

[AJ Holiday]

Here's how I feel. If you are out here dating, I put all your expectations on the table, day one. If the person who's in front of you isn't for that shit, good riddance. Okay? Somebody is going to be okay with your demands, your expectations, your boundaries.

[Tam Bam]

No. Sometimes you also.

[AJ Holiday]

No. It's your opinion versus mine.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. All right.

[AJ Holiday]

It's never a no, though.

[Tam Bam]

All right, so it's not. No, it's. My thought is you also have to have realistic expectations. Like, I saw this video of this woman. She was on a podcast, and her husband got fired, and he had been taking good care of her, she said, and he got fired, and he was unemployed for a month, and she was ready to divorce him. And she was like, my money is my money, and you're supposed to, like, you knew. You knew when you married me that I want to be taken care of. And, no, I don't want that. I want a soft life. And. And I was like, that's not. I don't think that's what soft life means.

[AJ Holiday]

No, it. Absolutely not. Because soft life doesn't mean, like, just a lazy life. Now, there are. I know some women, right, Who. And I know their husbands struggle and they just won't go get a job. Like, you are not with somebody. Like, are you content with how y' all living? Like, okay, you got a house, a car to a house, two cars and one job, right? So is that. Do you feel like you've arrived? Like, the income your man is bringing in, it may cover the bills, but how. Like, y' all are probably struggling with everything else. I would never watch my mate struggle.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

First of all, I'm. But I'm also in the place in my life right now where I don't even want. I don't want. I don't feel like building no more.

[Tam Bam]

But I'm not going to abandon ship if we begin to struggle, you know, like, let's say you have someone who is a provider and something. What, they get sick, you know? You just gonna leave?

[AJ Holiday]

No, absolutely not. I wouldn't.

[Tam Bam]

I.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, this week has been kind of weird. I know I sent y' all an AI video. I feel like a Lot of the we've been seeing online has already been AI. We don't know who the fuck these people be talking to. Are these even real people who'll be having these conversations and who's behind the AI acting like. Because it's real. Ish. Okay. They. They are putting all the stereotypes out there. So was that a real person who said this? You know, I know a lot of women. Most women, they be going hard in their relationships. They be going hard for their men.

[Tam Bam]

They look pretty real, but that AI look real now. You can never tell. That's why if I ever like, if I was a cheater and I. It was a video. That's AI. I don't know who made that video. That's AI.

[AJ Holiday]

It was an episode of Cheaters. The girl showed a dude, he was like, dang me, that's my twin. I'll be like, damn, that's my surrogate.

[Tam Bam]

That's a. I. I would never cheat. I'm joking. I would never cheat.

[AJ Holiday]

Everything is AI now. So yeah, that person might not even have been real. Okay, yeah, putting shit out there to.

[Tam Bam]

But I just don't want women to listen to us and assume that. Especially young women to assume that we're saying like, be a lazy and wait for somebody to come just do all the things and you do absolutely nothing but just be pretty.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, but there is some. Okay, there are some men, right? That's all they want you to do is look pretty for them. They want you to. They want you to shut up, right? And they want you to. To look very pretty. Going to different events with them. That's what I'm saying. A lot of people want these lifestyles that they not even really set up for. Like, those are usually the. What is it the thing the young girls do?

[Tam Bam]

What.

[AJ Holiday]

The.

[Tam Bam]

Why are you turning like that? Because that knee. Oh, sorry.

[AJ Holiday]

Like the debutante type girls, though, you know what I'm saying? They were raised to be these girls. And you remember a couple weeks ago I was telling you how a guy friend of mine basically told me that I'm not. I wouldn't get anybody just, just to completely take care of me because I know what I want. So I'm like, what do you mean? So basically you have to be like a dumb bitch. Also that. I think that's what men think, right? Men, if you. If a man is giving you this, this super soft life, they expect you just to just sit there, just don't do much. I just need you to do what I ask.

[Tam Bam]

I think they would Want you to be more peaceful if they're providing everything.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I would be more peaceful if a man. If I gotta work and do all the things too, I'm not gonna be peaceful.

[Tam Bam]

Not as peaceful.

[AJ Holiday]

Not as peaceful, no, because we. I'm doing exactly what you're doing. What are you doing? And you not peaceful. You know what I'm saying? You frustrated with life and all this shit, and I got to feel the bunt of that. Like, what are you doing that I'm not?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, fam.

[Carlos Miller]

This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South Show. If you're like me, you're always thinking about how to level up your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just starting in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long term success. They've been a steady presence in our community and they know having the right support early can make all the difference. State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know that the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's all about staying focused, staying grounded, and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I. I want a hybrid life.

[Tam Bam]

What is that?

[AJ Holiday]

I just want somebody to cover my fucking life expenses so that I can create, so that I can have time.

[Tam Bam]

And what are you gonna provide for them?

[AJ Holiday]

My feminine energy. That's what these women say. They're providing these men their feminine energy. What does that entail, being soft?

[Tam Bam]

Because I feel like intelligence. You got a strong alpha energy, though.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And I am working on being softer. And I don't know if it. I don't know if being soft is just talking soft, because to me that's manipulation. So I am actually working on the artist seduction then. Right? Because those women, the women who have mastered the art of seduction, which is the soft life women, right, is really manipulation. Submissive to being a submissive person, to me, is also manipulation. It is the ability to make somebody do something. Something while simultaneously making them think that it's their idea. Okay? So that is a skill set that I'm working on because I don't know, I'M not a finesser, you know what I'm saying? I don't know how to finesse people. I know how, but it's not my normal setting to be right. So I would have to really like consciously work on finessing somebody. And I don't, I just, I don't like doing that. That's why I can't date people that I don't find, like, aesthetically pleasing to me.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I don't know how to pretend like, I like you for money and shit like that. Like, I gotta actually like you.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I can't do that either. So women like, I gotta actually like.

[AJ Holiday]

People like Rick Ross think he a.

[Tam Bam]

Dime, but instead of somebody be pretending. But I have dated men who aren't like, you know, typically handsome, like, but I. They grew softer on my eyes because of how they treated me, you know, like. So you don't have to be the. I don't even really like fine ass niggas.

[AJ Holiday]

Me neither.

[Tam Bam]

Because I don't want you thinking you finer than me, you know, Like, I'm the fine one. So.

[AJ Holiday]

So do you feel like black women are just burnt out, like, collectively? So we're all just looking for somebody to leave us?

[Tam Bam]

Absolutely. I think that's why this soft girl era even came about. We're just tired and I think, I.

[AJ Holiday]

Think men think it has something to do with them. Like, it does. Like, I would like to have somebody, like do it for me, but I could just do it for myself and also like live this soft life.

[Tam Bam]

And a lot of us, that's going to have to be the situation, you know, we're going to have to. Because one, if you're not interested in a polygamous lifestyle, we outnumber these men, you know, so somebody going to have to come up short. We outnumber the men. And then if you factor in homosexuality, you factor in incarceration, you factor in already taken, you know, you're going to have a lot of people.

[AJ Holiday]

Four niggas left.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it's four niggas left. And if you're not willing to share, then you might have to be soft to yourself, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, that's where I'm at, right? So I am aspiring to have a softer life. I even want to talk softer sometimes. I listen to this podcast. I'd be like, why the fuck you so crunk? Because I'm at the house, like, chilling. But then I listened to the episode. I just talk crunk.

[Tam Bam]

When we was doing the Juneteenth episode, like you were yelling over Me the whole time I was listening to the episode. Like, really? Damn. She cut me off 17,000 times.

[AJ Holiday]

It's your mic. Maybe I didn't talking, though. That's what I'm saying.

[Tam Bam]

You was looking at me, Bitch, we be on camera with each other. Fuck you. Talking about you.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm gonna have to go listen now.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I. I might get. Get super filled with conviction, so.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, let's see your soft voice.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't really have a soft voice. Like, and I'm not about to. One of my homegirls, like, she puts on this little girl voice when she talks to men, and you despise the hard, just like me. Like, I'm not a hard. She's, like, firm. Okay. She's strict, just like me. But when she talks to men, like, she. It's an act, though, because she. When she talk, she probably could beat them up.

[Tam Bam]

She sound like dmx. And then when she talked to men, it's cutesy. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

It's like a whole nother. Like, who is. Hello.

[Tam Bam]

But you know what? I think so men do that. The way they interact with their homeboys is different than how they interact with their woman. I think we should aspire to that, honestly. Like, we don't have to be talking the same way with our man that we talk with everybody else. I just.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm just myself, right? So it's just easier for me to be that. It's just easier for me to be myself and then find somebody who's okay with me being myself, because that's what I. I'm gonna.

[Tam Bam]

When I be like, you know, I.

[AJ Holiday]

Might not have to do that for somebody else for. I might not have to do that for a person, but you might have.

[Tam Bam]

To do it for the type of person you're looking for.

[AJ Holiday]

I might not. And I might not, because. Is that authentic? That's not authentic. If I got to be talking like Mary Poppins. Hey, baby, would you like a matcha?

[Tam Bam]

I would like one from that voice. No, say it in your regular voice.

[AJ Holiday]

You want something to drink?

[Tam Bam]

Not really.

[AJ Holiday]

You want something to drink, though? Yeah. Like, so I don't know that I could put an act on. And that's another thing. Like, so these. These women who have these soft lies on social media, they're making money right off lifestyle. Is that the real image, or are they actually stressed in real life?

[Tam Bam]

Well, everybody's got stress they're out of. Find me somebody who doesn't have any stress, and I'll show you somebody who's probably not Alive. They're AI. You know, everybody's life has stress in it. You know, even the soft life, it's stressful creating the content to put it on social media, you know, so I don't really try to use social media as a, you know, baseline for how I'm living my life. Because everybody, everybody's showing their highlight reel anyway.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Because I know some women who. Husbands can afford for them to do whatever they want to do and like you said, if they have children, that should look different. Even with a nanny, it's hard work being a stay at home mom to four or five kids and shit like.

[Tam Bam]

That, to two kids, to one kid. Right.

[AJ Holiday]

It's a whole problem. So I mean, it's not, it's not, it's not soft.

[Tam Bam]

Can life even be soft for real? I don't know that I want to meet someone who feels like they're living a soft life. Do you know anybody who's really doing that?

[AJ Holiday]

That's what I'm saying. I know people like, to me they might be living a soft life because they don't have to wor. Worry about anything financially. Right. But I also see this, the struggles that they, you know, it's still stressful. They're so stressed, they still probably can use an extra hour sleep, you know what I'm saying? But the financial rules, they don't have that.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But regular, all other regular shit. But these women, I'm specifically talking about the soccer era because it is a social media thing. So is it a. Is it real life or is it tv? Are there actual women out here living like super along Atlanta, whatever her name is she living. I watch her build that fucking house she in and people was talking shit.

[Tam Bam]

That's just stuff. You never know what's going on after she dropped that camera and put that stuff down. That's just stuff. The soft life is not just stuff.

[AJ Holiday]

It's just less stress. Or maybe I don't want to ever manage stress. Right. I just, I want to have less stress to where when something does happen, it doesn't really feel like stress. It's like, I can take care of this, you know what I'm saying? So it's.

[Tam Bam]

Ain't that what you already doing?

[AJ Holiday]

No, you know, it's little things that stress me out, not big things. I handle big things easily because it's like you got to deal with it. But anything I got a choice about, I'm fucking pissed. Like I'm about to be. I'm gonna choose to be mad because I don't feel like doing this. And why do I have to do it like, it's Paquito. It's little as shit. And those are the things that stress me out. Small things. It's never.

[Tam Bam]

Don't let the small things stress you either. Yeah, there's so much big shit to be stressed about. You letting the small things get you in the. Get your panties in a bunch. All right, what's your last? Last?

[AJ Holiday]

No, it ain't no last. Last year. God damn. How long we recording?

[Tam Bam]

I feel like seven hours.

[AJ Holiday]

It hasn't been seven hours. Hold on a second. We talked about men. Okay. We. Okay. Don't just go into. What's your lap? Let's have a little piece of conversation. Like.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. How many minutes we been recording?

[AJ Holiday]

45.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Has it been 45?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

41 minutes.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. That's long enough.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Do you have a. Do you have something else to add, AJ.

[AJ Holiday]

Abruptly stopping. We already did that on one episode. I do think women, we are going to have to. If we want a soft life, most of us, again, will have to provide it for ourselves. It's not a bad thing to look for a partner that can provide that soft life. Now, if you're looking, they may not be black.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, this is what you're getting at?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And that's why I said earlier, is the man, right, the white man? Because this is what you see on social media is the women married to the white men that's affording these lives. And then you calling black men dusties. Right.

[Tam Bam]

I don't like that.

[AJ Holiday]

Me either. Not at all. So can. Can. Can you be a hustler and also have a soft life?

[Tam Bam]

If you hustling? Ain't nothing soft about the hustle.

[AJ Holiday]

Can you be working 9 to 5 and still have a soft life?

[Tam Bam]

I think you can do soft things for yourself. I think you could add soft things to your life. There's nothing soft about doing it all by yourself. There's nothing soft about being a mom. There's nothing soft about hustling, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I think it's just choosing, like, peace over performance, basically. Right. So it's just, I don't know, find some. I don't think it's about talking. I don't think it's an aesthetic. I think it's a mindset. A soft life is a mindset. Right.

[Tam Bam]

I agree. That's why I said, like, the type of piece that comes without money. That's really what's going to bring your soft girl era to you, is a mental thing. It's not how much money you got. Because let's be honest, everybody ain't going to be rich in this life. Not in money, you know, but they can be rich in peace. They can be rich in health, they can be rich in love. If you got a community of people who support and love you every day, you are rich, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

And get some rest.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, when you get real solid rest, that's soft, girl. Era, that's wealth.

[AJ Holiday]

So that's y' all get y' all a class pass and go to hot yoga. You feel soft with the white girls going, girl, I'm so pissed at them white girls in yoga. Like, I'm not gonna stop it. That's how I started spinning.

[Tam Bam]

Why you pissed that down?

[AJ Holiday]

Because they know how to do it. So I'm like, mad.

[Tam Bam]

It's black. Listen, I have a good friend, she teaches yoga here in Charlotte.

[AJ Holiday]

I have a couple friends, too, who do yoga and Pilates instructors. But it's. That shit is fucking hard. And they be in there just. I'm gonna keep going, though. Cause that was the same thing with spin. I go to Went to spin class. It was a whole bunch of white girls. And I'm like, I'm not letting their ass show me up. This is fat girl spin. I got right back up in there. And I can outspin a lot of motherfuckers.

[Tam Bam]

Amen.

[AJ Holiday]

But the yoga shit, bitch, I need a stretch. Yeah, bitch, I am stiff. I could throw these legs back a little bit now.

[Tam Bam]

I bet you can. But, girl, I don't like my legs back. I can't. My lungs and my stomach mash together. I don't know what the fuck. Put my legs down, I'mma die.

[AJ Holiday]

And I'm enjoying it. The whole time, I'm just laughing.

[Tam Bam]

I'm trying to breathe.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, you are concentrating. You really gotta concentrate in that position to breathe, bitch.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, what's the. All right, I know we gotta go, but what's the machine in the gym where you're laid on your back and your feet are up and you're pressing the weight like this?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, this. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know what it's called. Press. But the best bench. I don't know. I do that shit in the gym. That shit take me out every time I be about to die on that motherfucker. And not because it's hurting my legs. It's because I cannot breathe.

[AJ Holiday]

Really? You. I can do that a lot with a lot of weight. Like my leg.

[Tam Bam]

I can do a lot of weight.

[AJ Holiday]

But you like when your thighs come back to your stomach and having to push back up.

[Tam Bam]

Baby, where is the oxygen?

[AJ Holiday]

You might got to work. You might need to do something like breathing. I use this app called Open. I know I mentioned it before. Can they give us some ads? I'm paying 20amonth for that, but it's really.

[Tam Bam]

It's reasonable. It's really good, but.

[AJ Holiday]

Because it puts me asleep every night. Right, but it starts with the breathing.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, Every. Yeah, well, maybe I need to do that because. Yeah, baby, that machine, that's my worst enemy in the gym, and I like to do my worst enemy workouts first. But what's your last. Last. Can I ask?

[AJ Holiday]

Now that's it, man. Listen, you. Y' all gonna have to probably, you know, create your own soft life. Y' all can get on these dating apps and meet you a weirdo white man if you want to, but.

[Tam Bam]

Or a nice one, possibly.

[AJ Holiday]

Man, the ones that these girls got online, I feel like those are the last ones. Like the super fine, gray hair, old white man. They still exist. One of them got no kids.

[Tam Bam]

They're getting older every day. Yeah, they're living up.

[AJ Holiday]

And I heard Monaco. They say Monaco has, like, how many. 130,000 millionaires or some stupid shit. Some crazy 20,000. 30,000 millionaires in the small ass island. Like, maybe you need to go on vacation to Monaco.

[Tam Bam]

If you're looking. That's what you're looking for. Yeah. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Tammy will act like she ain't looking for niggas with money like this. See, she. I'm not able to, like, act like I'm not doing the thing that I'm doing.

[Tam Bam]

What are you talking about?

[AJ Holiday]

See, what are you talking about? Finessing ass.

[Tam Bam]

All right, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

And that's your last laugh.

[Tam Bam]

All right, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All. If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the black effect iHeartradio app or wherever the fuck you get your podcast. That. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram's Kicky Tam, y'. All.

[Tam Bam]

It's official Tam Bam on Instagram. I love y' all so much. Remember, Speak Now. I don't know. Don't hold no stress and never hold your stress. Release it Deuces.

[AJ Holiday]

We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Carlos Miller]

Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more at stateform. Com.

[AJ Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast.