We Talk Back – "Take Me To The Big O" (October 9, 2025)

Hosts: AJ Holiday & TamBam
Podcast Network: The Black Effect & iHeartPodcasts
Duration Covered: [02:20]–[79:39]

Episode Overview

In this lively, unfiltered episode, AJ and TamBam take on the complexities of women’s orgasms, honesty in the bedroom, and the power dynamics within sex and relationships. They discuss everything from fake orgasms to porn plots, aging libidos, and the importance of sexual communication. The hosts keep it raw, humorous, and sex-positive, tying in personal stories and societal commentary to destigmatize women's pleasure and empowerment. The conversation ranges from playful banter to insightful moments about authenticity, boundaries, and self-love.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Weekend Catch-Up & Pop Culture (02:37–07:18)

• Decluttering & Hoarding: AJ talks about cleaning out her house and the sentimental hoarding of greeting cards and CDs.
• Stranger Things: Both hosts obsess over the TV series. TamBam gets emotional about Jim Hopper’s fate, while AJ teases future plot points and pop references to events like Brittney Griner’s detainment ([05:27–07:18]).

2. News, Gossip, and Social Media Drama (07:47–15:32)

• Diddy Sentencing: AJ and TamBam discuss Diddy's 50-month prison sentence, time served, and his wish to go to minimum security at Fort Dix. The segment blends gossip with critique of celebrity justice ([07:47–09:06]).
• 50 Cent’s Online ‘Letter’: They read and laugh about 50 Cent’s trolling message to the judge on Diddy’s case, exploring the messiness of rapper feuds and the performative nature of internet beefs.
  • “Posting that on social media is essentially the same thing.” – AJ ([11:40])
• Man Act Charges & Racism in Legal System: AJ breaks down the historical context of the Mann Act and notes its racial biases ([12:59–13:56]).
• Portia Williams’ Dating Life: Discussion of Portia openly dating both a man and woman post-divorce, with candid banter about sexual exploration and late-life curiosity.
  • “Do people get to be like 40 plus and then say, hey, I'm gonna try some coochie?” – AJ ([14:27])

3. Candid Body & Hygiene Talk (17:59–20:49)

• Stripper Softness Secrets: The hosts wonder why strippers’ bodies are so soft, discuss shaving routines, and joke about Korean beauty tips for black women.
  • “When you shave it, it will be nice and smooth.” – TamBam ([20:17])
• Funny Overshares: Candid conversation about body hair, farts during dates, and the weird satisfaction that comes from pulling stray hairs out (e.g., weave in the shower).

4. Workplace & Corporate Realities (24:31–30:27)

• Being a ‘Corporate Catfish’: Discussion of a black woman who gets more job callbacks with a white woman’s picture on her LinkedIn and the discrimination baked into recruitment.
  • “Corporate culture is still rooted in this outdated blueprint that prioritizes assimilation over authenticity.” – AJ quoting Aaliyah Jones ([26:35])
• Name Bias in Hiring: They talk about implicit bias—even from other black people—and the strategies black women use to get past gatekeeping (changing their names, hiding photos) ([29:00–30:18]).

5. Main Theme: The Female Orgasm—Is There Equality? (31:13–78:09)

a) Faking Orgasms & Gender Differences ([36:39–40:47])

• Both hosts admit to faking orgasms in the past and openly reject it now.
  • “I used to be the queen of faking the orgasm. Not no more.” – TamBam ([36:49])
• Motivations for faking: wanting sex to end, protecting a partner’s ego, or feeling an orgasm is impossible from the experience.
  • “We are women are actually the reason why niggas really think they be hitting this pussy for real.” – AJ ([38:03])

b) Women’s Orgasm Frequency & Communication ([55:45–59:19])

• Citing studies: Men’s orgasms are significantly more frequent; lesbians report the highest rates among women, attributed to technique and communication.
• The hosts dig into what actually brings women pleasure—emphasizing clitoral stimulation and the futility of focusing only on penetration.
  • “Focusing on penetration alone often misses the mark.” – AJ ([58:55])
• Both reflect on how libido increases in their 40s and on how personal devices like the Rose sex toy can “unlock” new levels of pleasure (with a debate on whether it’s too intense or even safe) ([59:48–61:47]).

c) Sex Talks, Honesty, and Boundaries ([74:21–78:09])

• The hosts urge women to communicate what feels good and to stop faking pleasure, reminding that honesty benefits both partners.
  • “Don’t be afraid to tell your guy what it takes to get you where you need to be.” – TamBam ([74:21])
  • “When he get over here, he gonna know you was lying. Cause I'm gonna tell him he a goddamn lie.” – AJ ([75:07])
• Memorable stories include someone biting during oral (“I had to get the mirror to make sure I wasn't missing a piece down there.” – AJ [76:28]) and instructing partners like training dogs—with immediate feedback.

d) Relationship Dynamics, Lust vs. Love, and Aging Libidos ([41:49–68:54])

• Difference in sexual desire over time, with stories about routines, keeping sex exciting (“How do you stay in lust with the same person?” – AJ [43:26]), and the power of anticipation.
• Exploration of how porn can set unrealistic expectations—and both hosts admit porn isn’t a staple for them. (“I needed my porn to have a plot. Like, I need to know how these people met.” – TamBam [69:26])
• The humor continues as they muse on marathon sex vs. quickies, their own sexual “greediness,” and what satisfies them in their 40s.

e) Words We Use for Women’s Bodies ([72:50–74:21])

• A hilarious mini-debate about the words "vagina", "pussy", "moist", and what feels comfortable to say in intimate moments.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Authenticity in Work and Life:
  “Being corporate should mean being competent, communicative and respectful, not silencing your personality, culture or humanity.” – AJ ([26:35])

• On Faking Orgasms:
  “I used to practice mine in the mirror.” – AJ ([36:56])
  “We are women are actually the reason why niggas really think they be hitting this pussy for real.” – AJ ([38:03])

• On Sex in Their 40s:
  “I am 41, actually, right. Sex is going great for me… Amazing sex in your 40s. It might be hard to come by for some people. I got puma pussy.” – AJ ([66:06])

• On Communication:
  “Don’t be afraid to tell your guy what it takes to get you where you need to be… Have a conversation and tell them… Be honest with that nigga.” – TamBam & AJ ([74:21–75:07])

• On ‘Moist’ and Sexual Language:
  “Moist… If you put that one in front of P, gross me out.” – TamBam ([73:43])

• Vivid, Comedic Imagery:
  “If I gotta tap, especially we ain’t married, you might…You’re not about to be busting my up like that… There’s a time and place for everything!” – AJ ([75:39])
  “If I break out the karaoke just know you going home the same way you came.” – TamBam ([63:49])

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:37–07:18] – Hosts’ weekend/cultural catch-up
• [07:47–15:32] – Diddy news, 50 Cent drama, and celebrity gossip
• [17:59–20:49] – Hair removal, body confidence, and embarrassing moments
• [24:31–30:27] – Corporate Catfishing and workplace discrimination
• [31:13–34:37] – Setting up the orgasm conversation
• [36:39–40:47] – Faking orgasms: reasons and personal anecdotes
• [55:45–59:19] – Data on orgasm frequency and candid talk about technique
• [59:48–64:10] – Sex toys, libido in your 40s, and what ‘good’ sex looks like
• [66:06–68:54] – Relationship routines, communication, and porn
• [74:21–78:09] – Advocating for sexual honesty, boundaries, and “training” men in the bedroom

Episode Tone & Style

AJ and TamBam are bold, unfiltered, and comedic. The episode—true to the “We Talk Back” brand—is full of playful ribbing, candid confessions, explicit advice, and empowering real talk for women. They balance the raunch with genuine moments of self-acceptance, vulnerability, and hope for healthier relationships in and out of the bedroom.

Takeaways

• Women deserve honest, satisfying sexual experiences free from performative obligation.
• Communication and boundaries in sex are key—for both pleasure and self-respect.
• Age brings confidence, deeper understanding of what one wants in sex and life, and the realization that “faking it” (inside or outside the bedroom) isn’t the way forward.
• Societal scripts about gender, pleasure, and respectability are meant to be questioned—and laughed about along the way.

For more unfiltered girl talk and empowerment, tune in every Thursday to We Talk Back.