Take Me To The Big O

Summary

We Talk Back – "Take Me To The Big O" (October 9, 2025)

Hosts: AJ Holiday & TamBam
Podcast Network: The Black Effect & iHeartPodcasts
Duration Covered: [02:20]–[79:39]

Episode Overview

In this lively, unfiltered episode, AJ and TamBam take on the complexities of women’s orgasms, honesty in the bedroom, and the power dynamics within sex and relationships. They discuss everything from fake orgasms to porn plots, aging libidos, and the importance of sexual communication. The hosts keep it raw, humorous, and sex-positive, tying in personal stories and societal commentary to destigmatize women's pleasure and empowerment. The conversation ranges from playful banter to insightful moments about authenticity, boundaries, and self-love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Weekend Catch-Up & Pop Culture (02:37–07:18)

• Decluttering & Hoarding: AJ talks about cleaning out her house and the sentimental hoarding of greeting cards and CDs.
• Stranger Things: Both hosts obsess over the TV series. TamBam gets emotional about Jim Hopper’s fate, while AJ teases future plot points and pop references to events like Brittney Griner’s detainment ([05:27–07:18]).

2. News, Gossip, and Social Media Drama (07:47–15:32)

• Diddy Sentencing: AJ and TamBam discuss Diddy's 50-month prison sentence, time served, and his wish to go to minimum security at Fort Dix. The segment blends gossip with critique of celebrity justice ([07:47–09:06]).
• 50 Cent’s Online ‘Letter’: They read and laugh about 50 Cent’s trolling message to the judge on Diddy’s case, exploring the messiness of rapper feuds and the performative nature of internet beefs.
  • “Posting that on social media is essentially the same thing.” – AJ ([11:40])
• Man Act Charges & Racism in Legal System: AJ breaks down the historical context of the Mann Act and notes its racial biases ([12:59–13:56]).
• Portia Williams’ Dating Life: Discussion of Portia openly dating both a man and woman post-divorce, with candid banter about sexual exploration and late-life curiosity.
  • “Do people get to be like 40 plus and then say, hey, I'm gonna try some coochie?” – AJ ([14:27])

3. Candid Body & Hygiene Talk (17:59–20:49)

• Stripper Softness Secrets: The hosts wonder why strippers’ bodies are so soft, discuss shaving routines, and joke about Korean beauty tips for black women.
  • “When you shave it, it will be nice and smooth.” – TamBam ([20:17])
• Funny Overshares: Candid conversation about body hair, farts during dates, and the weird satisfaction that comes from pulling stray hairs out (e.g., weave in the shower).

4. Workplace & Corporate Realities (24:31–30:27)

• Being a ‘Corporate Catfish’: Discussion of a black woman who gets more job callbacks with a white woman’s picture on her LinkedIn and the discrimination baked into recruitment.
  • “Corporate culture is still rooted in this outdated blueprint that prioritizes assimilation over authenticity.” – AJ quoting Aaliyah Jones ([26:35])
• Name Bias in Hiring: They talk about implicit bias—even from other black people—and the strategies black women use to get past gatekeeping (changing their names, hiding photos) ([29:00–30:18]).

5. Main Theme: The Female Orgasm—Is There Equality? (31:13–78:09)

a) Faking Orgasms & Gender Differences ([36:39–40:47])

• Both hosts admit to faking orgasms in the past and openly reject it now.
  • “I used to be the queen of faking the orgasm. Not no more.” – TamBam ([36:49])
• Motivations for faking: wanting sex to end, protecting a partner’s ego, or feeling an orgasm is impossible from the experience.
  • “We are women are actually the reason why niggas really think they be hitting this pussy for real.” – AJ ([38:03])

b) Women’s Orgasm Frequency & Communication ([55:45–59:19])

• Citing studies: Men’s orgasms are significantly more frequent; lesbians report the highest rates among women, attributed to technique and communication.
• The hosts dig into what actually brings women pleasure—emphasizing clitoral stimulation and the futility of focusing only on penetration.
  • “Focusing on penetration alone often misses the mark.” – AJ ([58:55])
• Both reflect on how libido increases in their 40s and on how personal devices like the Rose sex toy can “unlock” new levels of pleasure (with a debate on whether it’s too intense or even safe) ([59:48–61:47]).

c) Sex Talks, Honesty, and Boundaries ([74:21–78:09])

• The hosts urge women to communicate what feels good and to stop faking pleasure, reminding that honesty benefits both partners.
  • “Don’t be afraid to tell your guy what it takes to get you where you need to be.” – TamBam ([74:21])
  • “When he get over here, he gonna know you was lying. Cause I'm gonna tell him he a goddamn lie.” – AJ ([75:07])
• Memorable stories include someone biting during oral (“I had to get the mirror to make sure I wasn't missing a piece down there.” – AJ [76:28]) and instructing partners like training dogs—with immediate feedback.

d) Relationship Dynamics, Lust vs. Love, and Aging Libidos ([41:49–68:54])

• Difference in sexual desire over time, with stories about routines, keeping sex exciting (“How do you stay in lust with the same person?” – AJ [43:26]), and the power of anticipation.
• Exploration of how porn can set unrealistic expectations—and both hosts admit porn isn’t a staple for them. (“I needed my porn to have a plot. Like, I need to know how these people met.” – TamBam [69:26])
• The humor continues as they muse on marathon sex vs. quickies, their own sexual “greediness,” and what satisfies them in their 40s.

e) Words We Use for Women’s Bodies ([72:50–74:21])

• A hilarious mini-debate about the words "vagina", "pussy", "moist", and what feels comfortable to say in intimate moments.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Authenticity in Work and Life:
  “Being corporate should mean being competent, communicative and respectful, not silencing your personality, culture or humanity.” – AJ ([26:35])

• On Faking Orgasms:
  “I used to practice mine in the mirror.” – AJ ([36:56])
  “We are women are actually the reason why niggas really think they be hitting this pussy for real.” – AJ ([38:03])

• On Sex in Their 40s:
  “I am 41, actually, right. Sex is going great for me… Amazing sex in your 40s. It might be hard to come by for some people. I got puma pussy.” – AJ ([66:06])

• On Communication:
  “Don’t be afraid to tell your guy what it takes to get you where you need to be… Have a conversation and tell them… Be honest with that nigga.” – TamBam & AJ ([74:21–75:07])

• On ‘Moist’ and Sexual Language:
  “Moist… If you put that one in front of P, gross me out.” – TamBam ([73:43])

• Vivid, Comedic Imagery:
  “If I gotta tap, especially we ain’t married, you might…You’re not about to be busting my up like that… There’s a time and place for everything!” – AJ ([75:39])
  “If I break out the karaoke just know you going home the same way you came.” – TamBam ([63:49])

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:37–07:18] – Hosts’ weekend/cultural catch-up
• [07:47–15:32] – Diddy news, 50 Cent drama, and celebrity gossip
• [17:59–20:49] – Hair removal, body confidence, and embarrassing moments
• [24:31–30:27] – Corporate Catfishing and workplace discrimination
• [31:13–34:37] – Setting up the orgasm conversation
• [36:39–40:47] – Faking orgasms: reasons and personal anecdotes
• [55:45–59:19] – Data on orgasm frequency and candid talk about technique
• [59:48–64:10] – Sex toys, libido in your 40s, and what ‘good’ sex looks like
• [66:06–68:54] – Relationship routines, communication, and porn
• [74:21–78:09] – Advocating for sexual honesty, boundaries, and “training” men in the bedroom

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Episode Tone & Style

AJ and TamBam are bold, unfiltered, and comedic. The episode—true to the “We Talk Back” brand—is full of playful ribbing, candid confessions, explicit advice, and empowering real talk for women. They balance the raunch with genuine moments of self-acceptance, vulnerability, and hope for healthier relationships in and out of the bedroom.

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Takeaways

• Women deserve honest, satisfying sexual experiences free from performative obligation.
• Communication and boundaries in sex are key—for both pleasure and self-respect.
• Age brings confidence, deeper understanding of what one wants in sex and life, and the realization that “faking it” (inside or outside the bedroom) isn’t the way forward.
• Societal scripts about gender, pleasure, and respectability are meant to be questioned—and laughed about along the way.

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For more unfiltered girl talk and empowerment, tune in every Thursday to We Talk Back.

Transcript

[A]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[B]

You've been working in the garage with your dad every week, Monday to Sunday, trying to get the old school up and running. Today, after all the hard work, y' all finally finished it. Even better. Your dad says, all yours, son. Yep. Same car that belongs to your grandpa that your dad helped him fix. It's yours. To really keep the tradition going, you need to get State Farm insurance just like them, generation to generation. Remember to choose the agents that your family counted on. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[C]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[B]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[C]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[D]

I'm Jonathan Goldstein. And on the new season of Heavyweight.

[E]

And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a jo.

[D]

A man who robbed a bank when he was 14 years old and a centenarian rediscovers a love lost 80 years ago.

[A]

How can 101-year-old woman fall in love again?

[D]

Listen to heavyweight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast. I had the incredible opportunity to sit down with the one, the only cardi b my marriage.

[F]

I fel the love dying. I was crying every day. I felt in the deepest depression that I had ever had. This was not given to me. I worked my ass off from it.

[D]

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[E]

We're just two unapologetically black with an opinion who talks back.

[A]

What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, A.J. holliday. What's up, Tam Bam, y'?

[E]

All? It's Tam Bam. I love y' all so, so very much. It's a new week, it's fall, so I'm extra happy. So, AJ how was your weekend?

[A]

My weekend was just fine. It was great. I spent all week last week hanging out at my homegirls. And what did I do for the actual weekend? Just catch up on life, business, clean My house got rid of a bunch of. I still got CDs, y'.

[E]

All.

[A]

You know, I got about 20, 11, hundred different cords and cables. I had to throw out a bunch of clothes I haven't worn and kept saying, I'm gonna fit in at some point from college.

[E]

Got rid of them.

[A]

Hell, yeah. I even have rid of the CDs. I feel like CDs are. No, I got the CDs. I kept my CDs. I actually ordered CD cases from Amazon.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I still have my. You know, how you go to college? You have a trunk. Did you have a trunk? I still got my college freshman year trunk full of transcripts, student loan shit that I never paying all type of shit in there. My list is in there. One of my exes went through that same trunk. The year was 2005 or some shit like that, 2004 or something like that. And a nigga went through that thing and found my list and was mad he wasn't at the top of it. Like, it's not in chronological order, sir.

[E]

Right?

[A]

No, I said, well, it. It is in chronic chronological order. Yeah. So you weren't the first. So you aren't at the top, right.

[E]

You at the bottom, actually.

[A]

Current, right? Yeah. Mind your business. So, yeah, that's all I did, actually clean up and get rid of a bunch of and stop hoarding. Like, I aspire to be, like, one of those people who. I'm such a hoarder when it comes to clothes mail, you know, like, if I haven't. If you haven't touched it all year, throw that shit in the trash, bro.

[E]

If you ever gave me a greeting card between 2010 and now, I still got it. Maybe even before that.

[A]

Like birthday cards. I got all that letters, like, I got. I be having everything.

[E]

I'm the same way, girl. I just need to get rid of a lot of. I just can't part ways with it. And that's the mental I brought.

[A]

I bought a shredder, too. So I have been parting ways with stuff.

[E]

What did I do this weekend? Girl, I watched all of Stranger Things from beginning to Ooh.

[A]

That is my favorite show, girl.

[E]

Also, I'm not done.

[A]

Is it a new season on?

[E]

I know, but it's coming in November. I just made it to season four, baby. When I tell you, when Jim Hopper died, I cried so hard. Oh, I cried. I was like, not my boy Hop. I was so hurt.

[A]

I love changing things.

[E]

I'm mad. Where Jim. I can't believe they killed Jim like that. Like, I'm just so sick about it. It really ruined my day.

[A]

He might just be in the Upside down, girl.

[E]

You know what? Cause we didn't see him evaporate. But, you know, like, the last time that exploded, everybody there turned into mush on the ground. So I'm just, you know, I don't know. But either way, I'm upset. I'm about to start season four and see what happens.

[A]

I never missed a season. And I would. I watch. I would. I watch Stranger Things. As soon as them seasons come out, that's what I'm like, wait, there's a new season out? I ain't heard about reason.

[E]

You know, my. My little young thing put me on that. So, yeah, we watched that together.

[A]

Listen, I don't. Okay, season four. What season is coming up? Is it season five? Okay, so you are in season four. So have you gotten to Russia yet? Actual got into the, like, there's like, scenes in Russia. You haven't gotten there yet?

[E]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

The whole. The whole last season was in the mall.

[A]

That's not the first season.

[E]

That's season three. What the fuck? Yeah, it was in a mall the whole time, but it was like the fortress under the mall.

[A]

So maybe a season four. Possibly it has to be season four. But there's some parts in there that when Brittney Griner was locked up in Russia, I'm like, man, I was associating her with Stranger Things because of these scenes. We'll talk about it when you get there.

[E]

Okay? Yeah, but, yeah, that was my weekend.

[A]

And I really think this is. That's how. That's the world we live in. You know, I really believe, like, there is an upside down. Like, there's this universe and there's like a bad version of this universe or this is the bad version.

[E]

Right?

[A]

And the flip side is a good side, because this shit is not nice.

[E]

Stranger things have happened. All right, so let's get into scenes.

[A]

We got going on this week, y'. All. Diddy is trying to serve his 50 month sentence. So last week, Friday, I think it was, all the headlines started coming out that Diddy was sentenced to 50 months in prison. Four years, essentially. So he's been in jail since around this time last year, since, like last September. So maybe he'll get some good time served. This is feds we're dealing with, right? So you got to serve all your time. It ain't like the state where you get low 80%, but he can get time served for the time he spent.

[E]

In county, the 14 months that he did will go against.

[A]

Is it 14 months?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like it was last. It wasn't last September. It might have been last July then that he went to jail, that he got arrested. That makes sense.

[E]

But he says he want to go to Fort Dixon. The surreality, that's the other funny part. Yeah.

[A]

And that's how I be spelling dicks. D I, X.

[E]

If I had to go to jail, I would want to go to Fort Dicks as well.

[A]

Sounds like fun to me. LA for dicks is like a minimal. Minimal, minimal, minimal security. This is probably some Hollywood. And I mean, it's in Jersey, so he'll still be close to his family.

[E]

Yeah. I feel bad for those girls. When I saw them walking out that courtroom, I just. My heart went out to them because people were screaming crazy shit at them. They just going.

[A]

And they stole kids. They stole kids.

[E]

Little girls, you know, the boys too, but the little girls especially.

[A]

So what do you think about so 50 cent? He said he was going to write a letter to the judge. He didn't write the letter to the judge, but he posted it on social media. Have you seen that?

[E]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Was it a letter in support of Diddy or.

[A]

Absolutely not. Okay. And I had a great debate with somebody regarding the letter because I'm like, I understand like rules of engagement, like Art of war and all that, but what does this do for. And I guess maybe we are well super far away from keeping it real or just real nigga shit. Like, it's just I'm not in the streets. I'm a grown ass man. And. And Diddy is essentially bad for the ecosystem. This is what $0.50 letter he supposedly said. He was saying sending this to the judge, but he posted it online. And to me it's equivalent to sending it to the judge. So the letter says. Yeah, it says, I have had an ongoing dispute with Puffy for over 20 years. He is very dangerous. Multiple times I have feared for my life. I think you should consider the safety of the general public, your honor, before unleashing him upon them. There hasn't been enough time for him to reform or make any adjustments despite his trying to teach a class in there. As you are already aware, the government has spent a maximum amount of money on deploying federal agencies which appeared to be an army in two locations simultaneously. Later, his son, who's dealing with his own rape allegations, claimed that the feds had hit the wrong house. He did that in a song. The son. What's the little son name? Justin.

[E]

Sean.

[A]

Just no Sean. The junior.

[E]

That girl. I don't know.

[A]

Right, right. And then it says, anyway, Diddy's only going to return to hiring more male sex workers and keeping most of the baby oil away from the general public. Any and babies need it. He said. He said my Netflix doc on this scandalous subject is coming soon. So this is a letter he said he was going to write to the judge. But to me, posting that on social media is essentially the same thing.

[E]

As far as he really posted that.

[A]

This is off of his Twitter account.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It says, this is my letter to the judge on Diddy's case. What? I'm scared for my life. Lol.

[E]

Like, he's just such the hugest troll. Like, you don't have nothing to do with that.

[A]

I mean, kind of. He does. I mean, essentially, like, his. His. His son's mom was wrapped up in the shit. Some can say that. That Diddy had her first and basically put her. Put her on 50 Cent. What's her name? His kid's mom? Is it Daphne?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So I don't know. I just feel like it's real. It's just whack, you know what I'm saying? Like, Diddy is down. The nigga's down.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I don't think that would kick.

[E]

Him, but that's like 50 cent energy, though. This don't surprise me about him at all that he would do that. It's just he's very. He's like the pettiest. He's a cancer. So I know he can get low, rattlesnake low. So when they mad, I know how cases can get. I am one, so I get it. But he just take it too far.

[A]

Yeah. Because this ain't no real man. You writing a letter to the judge, dog. That's what you're doing. And I'm kind of torn about it because Diddy was facing some real, you know, real charges. They still got him on that man act, which to me is very racist. Right. So this is what he's. He was essentially charged with, man act. And if you guys don't know what that is, it's just essentially, you know, taking somebody across state lines. They created that racist ass charge when they arrested Jack Johnson, a boxer, for taking his white wife across state lines, so trafficking. So this is what R. Kelly was also charged with as well. So I feel like I don't even know. Has there been any white men charged with that type of charge before? I'd like to know. I hope. I hope Diddy gets his his wish and gets to, you know, go over to Fort Dix.

[E]

It's just the name, but. Okay, so let me tell you what else happened. Portia. William is back outside. Williams. Excuse me. Is back outside. She's currently, currently only seeing two people. A man and a woman. And this is four months after finalizing divorce from Simon. And she says she's talking to two people and she wants to keep their identities private. But he is nice and she is nice as well.

[A]

Interesting. Yeah, interesting. I be wanting to know, is it is. I mean, do people get to be like 40 plus and then say, hey, I'm gonna try some coochie? Because I just feel like if you was gonna try some Gucci, you already been trying some coochie. This ain't like new, right?

[E]

No, sometimes people do, but yeah, at 40. What's that, Jenna? The Jenner. The. The man. The man who became a woman at 60 something years old. So people do some later in life and then hoes. Oh, I ain't gonna say that because people gonna get mad. Let me just leave it.

[A]

You said hoes. What about the hoes?

[E]

Hoes become gay after they had like.

[A]

A bunch of dick.

[E]

You'll be bored. I'm gonna try something new. That's my theory. I might be wrong. Is it a theory? Let me know. Is it really a theory? Are you speaking from experience?

[A]

Yeah, because I feel like I done did all the things I'm gonna do. Like, you can't coerce me for one. You know, some dudes are chatting. We should do it. No, if I was going to do a threesome, it would have been done a hundred times over. Yeah, I don't like coochie. Okay, I know, because I know. Like, I like oysters. I don't like coochie though.

[E]

If you like oysters. Right.

[A]

See, this is what gay do right here. How do you know? How do you know?

[E]

Okay, there's that.

[A]

Okay, who like coochie? That's what they do.

[E]

I don't like coochie either.

[A]

How do you know? Why would you ask me that if you didn't like.

[E]

I'm just saying, like you don't know. It's like saying, oh, I don't like pizza. You never had pizza before, you know.

[A]

Ah, listen, certain foods, I don't gotta taste it to know I don't like it. I don't like how it looks, I don't like how it smells. I only like mine. Okay? I know my coochie been at too. Like if I were a man. I don't know if I would be out here in coochie. I just don't know because it's a ratchet out here. I'll have y' all know. Yeah, I know where my coochie been. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of. I heard that the men's restroom looks better than the female restroom. I don't know if that's true or not.

[E]

Men's locker room. I used to work in the gym. The men's locker room was always cleaner than the females locker room.

[A]

That says a lot.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

That says a lot. Okay. Women, when ain't nobody looking can be nasty. Okay? So fellows, if that microwave dirty, if that bathroom dirty, if the heel on that shoe is looking like some. Like a mouse done chewed up on it.

[E]

The heel of her shoe. That's not fair. What if she just ain't got money for new shoes?

[A]

That tap only cost $7 to get replaced. That's what I'm talking about. When they be walking on that nail, that.

[E]

Worse than walking on that. Oh, if you don't throw them damn.

[A]

Shoes in the trash. I just told y' all get rid of all that old. That'll. Those are little small indications, okay, that no something might be up.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So. So basically what I'm hearing is that Magic city took their show on the road recently and they actually had a pop up strip club essentially in Japan. And the locals are calling it Japlanta. What do you think about that, Tammy?

[E]

I want to go. I want to go. I don't if I could go because from the pictures, y', all, there was so much money on the ground. It was a lot.

[A]

Hold on, you want to go to work or just watch?

[E]

Yeah, I don't want to go to work. Watch. I want some of that money in Japan, Harajuko town.

[A]

And you still gonna end up on the Internet. People gonna know you was over there. You know how used to try to go to the next state over and strip?

[E]

I'm going to the Internet.

[A]

That was before the Internet. That wasn't me. That's AI. That's my surrogate.

[E]

Girl.

[A]

What if your leg mess around and give out while you in there?

[E]

First of all, it's my ankle. My ankle go up. That's. That's why I can't go. But I would want to remember on.

[A]

The yellow brick road, you got to take a little can of oil.

[E]

Listen, I'm too old. I don't aged out.

[A]

I don't know, man. You might, you might be able to get up there. I know I'm not. Yeah, I'm like, I just, I never understood like how. First of all, it's two things about strippers. I never understood how y' all get up there naked and every night and dance in front of these strangers. Strangers. And why the y' all body so soft like that? Like what, what products are y' all using?

[E]

Right?

[A]

How I know strippers body is soft? Because I have touched a stripper. Okay.

[E]

Hush your ass.

[A]

That wasn't hers. And them be soft. Okay. I don't know what type of products they be using. Like what they be exfoliating with their booties.

[E]

Be real soft. All right, first of all, they're definitely shaving their asses. You guys, if you're not shaving your butt, it's not.

[A]

Everybody ain't hairy.

[E]

It, it's not hairy, but there's that little fine hair that's all over your body. If you shave it, it will be nice and smooth.

[A]

Let me see right quick, rub it.

[E]

It's a little. It's like fine hair all over it. Oh, when I tell you I shave like, I learned this from this Korean skincare group that I'm in for. Korean skin care for black girls group. And they talk. And it was this one, one tip to shave your entire body. Even like I'll be shaving my collarbone. Like my whole. I shaved my whole body, even my butt cheeks. When you get in the shower today, tonight or whenever the next time you babe, I don't know, Shave your butt.

[A]

Explain like in the, in the crease.

[E]

No, the whole ass. The whole ass?

[A]

How you shave your whole ass with a razor and you, you reach every part. Yes. So fuck you, girl. I bet you'd be having like a little line of hair somewhere on that beach. You hairy. I'm not as hairy as you. I'm not. I don't think. I feel like you got more hair on your body than me.

[E]

I'm probably more hairier than you, but I don't think. I don't consider myself hair. You know how people be having like hairy as arms. My arms don't grow hair like that.

[A]

It beat on light skinned girls. Light skinned girls only shave their calf. You fuck around and see that bitch thigh is fucking hairy. It's a weird wolf underneath it.

[E]

You'll be surprised at how much hair is going to come off on that razor. You gonna be humble, but then it's gonna make your ass so smooth.

[A]

One itch though. If you shave a spot that's never been shaved before, my butt won't Be itching.

[E]

No, just you.

[A]

I remember the first time I shaved my coochie in high school. Oh, my God. I was patting my pussy all day long, like, trying to scratch that on a low. I could not believe how bad my coochie was itching. That never happened to you.

[E]

Yeah, absolutely. No, you're not alone. I spent the night with my friend. Yeah. I had to fart so bad. I had to fart, and I would go to the bathroom, but then it got like, why you keep going to the bathroom? And I had to wait, tell him I had to. I was farting because, you know, that.

[A]

Just ruins killing intimacy. Yeah.

[E]

That I'm. I'm going to the bathroom every five minutes because I'm farting in there. What do you eat? I just had egg roll in a bowl.

[A]

Oh.

[E]

So, yeah, my.

[A]

Should be following me sometime. Not far. Be done, fella. Follow me back to the bed. Kind of kick that.

[E]

Like, my phone.

[A]

Definitely be loud sometimes. Just pull up back to the bed with me. All on your clothes.

[E]

I stopped. I held it. Oh, my gosh. When I was driving home today. Oh, my God. Yeah. I was like, first of all, he. His house is like, eight minutes. In eight minutes, I farted at least 17 to 20 times.

[A]

You had on jeans, what kind of pants you had on, what kind of bottoms you had on. Don't it feel good a lot? A couple times, like, when it Roll up the front. The fart. When you fart, like, with clothes on, and I like. It kind of rolls up the front.

[E]

It feels good.

[A]

A little bit disgusting.

[E]

You're nasty.

[A]

It does. See, y' all won't admit to some of this, but it's just regular human. Like, you have a conversation with another real, and they'd be like, yeah, I experienced that.

[E]

I don't know if it just feels. I. I'm never like, oh, that felt nice. Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

[A]

I like to pull strands of weave out my butt crack, too.

[E]

What?

[A]

Don't that feel good? So you won't be having. You won't be having random strands of hair down there, like, from.

[E]

Yeah, especially when I'm doing hair. It'll be hair in places that I don't like. How did it get.

[A]

Pull it out slow. I'll shave my butt tonight. And you pull the hair out slow.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

That feels the good.

[E]

It's not weird at all, aj. All right, all right.

[A]

So Aaliyah Jones says that she's a corporate catfish. And y', all, I've told y' all to Be a corporate catfish on multiple occasions. So this woman basically changed her profile picture on LinkedIn to a white woman. And she was getting better responses. Now I've been telling people like, aside from the podcast, not to put pictures on LinkedIn because I know that they discriminate. Like they have your application now. You can just go, you know, they can't find you a Facebook page. They can just type up your, your Instagram. I mean, your LinkedIn profile. People will discriminate. There are black people who discriminate on other black people. If you get a email that sounds like a black person. So this shit happens.

[E]

That's crazy. But it's not surprising. Pretty little blonde haired white girl. Yeah, I'm not surprised that they, you know, people want this, this woman working at their job.

[A]

So she said she was tired of not getting hired and being overlooked. She explained to Unbothered this is who was doing an interview. She said, I studied for interviews religiously, showed up on time, got stood up, traveled across cities, made it to the final round and still got nothing. After a while, it stopped feeling like a coincidence and started feeling like a pattern. That's when I decided to run an experiment. So in Corporate Catfish Jones. So she started writing a whole blog about this corporate catfishing. And she's the corporate catfish in Corporate Catfish Jones claimed someone told her she wasn't corporate enough. She got a message for somebody on LinkedIn and it was like a voice memo on a direct message and the person told her she was not corporate enough. What does that mean? Because I mean, people got. Our generation got sleeves, sleeve tattoos in corporate settings, right? Okay, so what does that even mean? She said they policed my tone and told me that I'm not corporate enough and should present myself the way and should present myself that way if I want to be taken seriously. That moment said a lot. Because what does corporate enough even mean? Sounding less black, real or robotic? Real or more robotic. She said I was showing up as myself. And that made some people uncomfortable. Being corporate should mean being competent, communicative and respectful, not silencing your personality, culture or humanity. Corporate culture is still rooted in this outdated blueprint that prioritizes assimilation over authenticity. It's time we built something better. So she says. So she changed her profile picture. Simple little tweak and she was getting.

[E]

You know, but I mean, all right, just because you get the interview and you show up black, then what? Because I don't know, you know?

[A]

Well, sometimes because. Okay, before AI, I think AI has always been a thing, right? But but now it's, like, more mainstream. But these hiring systems that. That people use, like, workforce, stuff like that, they have always been using some type of AI, you know, computerization system. Yeah. So if you. If you got to factor in affirmative action. So say, for instance, you have an office with, I don't know, 50 people in there. Y' all want to hire 10 more people, it gotta be percentage black, gotta be percentage woman got. You know what I'm saying? Like, you. Now you got to add in all this extra bullshit. So this system is weeding people out. But just like when we talked about dei, how it benefited white women more anyway, so what are we really even talking about? Right. So even with DEI and affirmative action in place, there are still discriminatory practices happening in corporate settings.

[E]

Just period.

[A]

Yeah. So if you. If you are in the job market. Yeah. You might need to not say that you're a black American. I mean, you just got to play the game until you win. That's all. Play the game until you win. Because you're not even getting into the hiring process.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they already knocking you out. Your application is getting knocked out.

[E]

It's so crazy with all these things trying to keep us oppressed and keep us down and keep us sick and keep us dying earlier than everybody else. I still want to be a black woman. I still wouldn't choose to be something else.

[A]

Ain't that dangerous, but it's lit.

[E]

I still wouldn't want to be nothing else.

[A]

They don't want to be nothing else either. Like, them want to be black, too. That's why they can't stand when there's too many of us around. Like, God damn it. God damn it. But I had a homegirl tell me that a girl whose name is probably like a shaniqua or some shit like that. Said, she. She is in a position of hiring people, and she said that when she sees, like, let's say, an email that says Tamisha Brown or something like that, she's overlooking that application. So we are also doing it to each other when we are in a position to put the next nigga on how you responded.

[E]

And you overlook Tamisha.

[A]

Exactly.

[E]

Going by Q. Hi, Q. Good morning.

[A]

Q.

[E]

No, bitch, you in Shaquanda.

[A]

And I have friends who, like, I had my homegirl, Tamika. Like, she started going by Renee because, you know, she had a master's degree and wasn't getting jobs just because her name was ethnic. Yep. So, I mean, it's unfortunate. Corporate settings do have a uniform. Hopefully you can get someplace working from home where you don't. I'd be looking like shit.

[E]

Right?

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Like you could just look at. Look like shit from the house. But that's just it. It is what it is. Until it's not.

[E]

You know what another name that it might be sucked to have right now? Karen. Right now, Right.

[A]

You know Karen that works with Charlemagne?

[E]

No.

[A]

Well, when we were first, like working out our deal and stuff like that with Black Effect, I was talking to. I said, what's your name again? She said, like she didn't want to repeat her name. She didn't want to say Karen again.

[E]

Yeah, that's one of those names that makes kind of tough to have right now. You got to overcompensate for your name. Just like being a tameka, unfortunately. What are we talking today?

[A]

So, y', all, today we are having a conversation about orgasms.

[E]

Oh, my favorite.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. In comparison to men, is there. Is there equality amongst orgasms or is it an illusion? That's what we're talking about today.

[E]

Okay, I need more. I need details on what that means.

[A]

We'll be back.

[B]

Yep, the wait was worth it. Positive affirmations and all the hard work. The keys to your dream home from the vision board have been secured. I see you. A whole new future awaits your planning. From top notch decor, but on a budget, to late night backyard summer cookouts. Life feels good. Now comes the time to fill it with memories. What will you host first? Maybe movie night, Game night. Stories that make us laugh in spades. Tournaments that make us cry. First you need to get movers and new furniture. And what about party favors? Will there be a theme? Of course it's theme. Because you're always doing the most. Oh yeah. The food to cook or order out. Don't forget to put it in the group chat so everybody can already see who gonna be there. All that planning can be stressful. But insuring your home shouldn't be. And that's where State Farm comes in. Because State Farm agents can help you choose the coverage you need. Just call, go online or check out the app. An agent is ready to help so you can focus on showing off your new home. If you know, you know like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[A]

All I know is what I've been told. And that's a half truth is a whole lie.

[C]

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18 year old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved. Until a local homemaker, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[A]

I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her.

[C]

We know a story that law enforcement used to convict six people and that got the citizen investigator on national tv.

[E]

Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky.

[A]

Housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

[C]

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer prize winning journalist producer, and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find.

[D]

I did not know her and I.

[E]

Did not kill her or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y' all said.

[A]

They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on her. They made me say that I poured gas on her.

[C]

From Lava for good. This is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame.

[B]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[C]

Listen to Graves county in the Bone Valley feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[D]

I'm Jonathan Goldstein. And on the new season of Heavyweight, I help a centenarian mend a broken heart.

[A]

How can one one year old woman fall in love? Love again?

[D]

And I help a man atone for an armed robbery he committed at 14 years old.

[E]

And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a joke. And he got down.

[A]

And I remember feeling kind of a.

[E]

Surge of like, okay, this is power.

[D]

Plus, my old friend Gregor and his brother try to solve my problems through hypnotism. We could give you a whole brand new thing where you're like super charming.

[E]

All the time, being more able to.

[D]

Look people in the eye, not always hide behind a microphone. Listen to heavyweight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the on purpose podcast. I had the incredible opportunity to sit down with the one, the only cardi b my marriage.

[F]

I felt the love dying. I was crying every day. I felt in the deepest depression that I had ever had.

[D]

How do you think you're misunderstood?

[F]

I'm not this evil, mean person that people think that I am. I'm too compassionate. I have sympathy for that. My man, you put so much heart.

[D]

And soul into your work. What's the hardest part for you to take that criticism?

[F]

This was not given to me. I worked my ass off for me even when I was a stripper I'm gonna be the best pole dancer in here.

[D]

When was the moment you felt I did it?

[F]

I still to this day, don't feel comfortable. I fight every day to keep this level of success because people want to take it from you so bad.

[D]

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

All right, so it's 2025, y'.

[E]

All.

[A]

It is October 2025. Are women still faking orgasms in 2025? Raise your hand.

[E]

I don't fake them no more. I do not. I used to fake them. I used to be the queen of faking the orgasm. Not no more.

[A]

Yeah, I used to practice mine in the mirror this time. That's your best bit.

[E]

Let me hear your best come, girl.

[A]

My best come what?

[E]

Orgasm, girl.

[A]

I'm not doing that. I can't fake orgasms like that no more. Yes, and I'm. You just.

[E]

She's shy. She's shy, everybody.

[A]

I ain't doing it for free. Not about to be moaning on this damn mic. I at least get on only fans with the moans.

[E]

No, I don't. I don't fake them no more just because I don't have to. I come so fast now. I don't know what that is. Listen, my boo will breathe on my neck and I'll be like. You know, anytime I do a fake orgasm sound, I just channel my inner black man. Remember when he came on, he said.

[A]

The black man.

[E]

Oh.

[A]

Girl, you a bay walking movie reference.

[E]

Okay. Yes.

[A]

So I don't think I haven't faked the orgasm in a very long time. And I feel like we are women are actually the reason why niggas really think they be hitting this pussy for real. Like, why were we ever faking? You know, because I've said this before. I do feel like the female orgasm is like a new thing, you know, because our grandmothers really wasn't having orgasms. You know what I'm saying?

[E]

Nobody was even trying. Concerned with them having orgasms.

[A]

Exactly. Jimmy Paul was just hitting that thing and he needs a shower. Just sweaty. I just think about, like, his business. Yeah, Color Purple. Exactly. I could not imagine living in that time and having to deal with that type of bullshit because their egos should have been bruised day one. But we have women that still having sex and really not enjoying it, still faking it. And why. Why do we fake it? Why are women still faking orgasms in 2025? I really would like to know.

[E]

So I Think there's two reasons that people fake up orgasm. One, because they want it over, wanted to be over.

[A]

Or two, now I've done that.

[E]

Like a man is working hard to get you to come and you know you're never going to come so you just fake it so it could be done.

[A]

So then hold on, let me re. Let me rephrase that right quick. Not recent as in recent recent but I mean like recent in the last couple years. Go ahead.

[E]

Will your nigga listen to the show?

[A]

Right? Not like that.

[E]

Boo, boo. And then the second reason is to feed a man's ego. You don't want to hurt his feelings. You want him to feel like he's the man because you care. Those are the two, those are only two reasons.

[A]

I agree. I agree. So this says a 2024 Cross national study, 11,000 people they interviewed found 40% have faked at some point. 18% of women versus 9% men report currently faking. Many stopped after improving communication and. And slash comfort. And this also goes to say like the motives in the psychology behind fake and it says common motives is to avoid negative feelings like you said, protect your partner's ego, end and encounter. You said that right? Or because orgasms feels unlikely given the way sex is happening. So you're in the middle. It says the orgasm feels unlikely, you're not going to ever get there. So you just start faking it so it can be over.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

It says newer research links faking to emotion regulation difficulties and using sex to cope, pointing to relational emotional dynamics, not just performance. So I think for women we do have to be mentally in it to have an orgasm. You got to be. I don't. Do you think prostitutes be having orgasms when they have sex?

[E]

Sometimes.

[A]

You a real hoe. You are a real hoe if you have an orgasms. All that sex every, all night. I don't, I don't think so.

[E]

I do it every time. They probably fake it most of the time but I'm sure they come sometime.

[A]

I think, I think. But the reason why I'm saying is that I think that men's. Men orgasms is more connected to the act of it and with women it's more connected to the emotional aspect of you know, having sex.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So I know prostitutes are not emotionally attached to their johns.

[E]

Is it all. It's not always emotional because sometimes the just be hitting that button and you like yeah, it's over. You know it don't have to be like emotional or passion involved. It could just be like the physical Act.

[A]

I don't know. I feel like. I mean, it's been a long time where I could have sex with somebody I don't like. Because even, like, with somebody you're in a relationship with for a long time, and you know that shit over mentally, but you still physically there. The sex is not fucking good anymore. And like, I. I started thinking, like, why did I ever think this was good? That's because I'm just not into it anymore emotionally. Like, he might still be doing his thing, you know, and it's still great to him, but for me, it's. It feels a little ick. Yeah, it's such a ick. Like, I'm not.

[E]

Because mentally, he's gross to you now. But what if he wasn't mentally gross but you also wasn't in love with him? You know, like, if you didn't have an emotional connection to him, but he wasn't gross to you? Because once you check out, like, the idea of that person is now, like, ugh, I don't want you.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. It's so, like. I don't know. How do. Do you think you can. I don't think I can ever, like, get back there. Once I get to that ugh, with a person, it could be two years from now. And I decide, let me see how this sitting, like, it's just over for you. And it's not that you are like, ugh to me for real. It's just that I'm not in love with you no more. So now it's like. Or even in, like, with you anymore.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Because, you know, that's a big thing. It's two different things. So I feel like once I fall out of like and lust, I like lust now. Lust, you know, you still like that person a lot. Lust is so good. And that's why I remember that time I was like, how do you stay in lust? Right? In order to stay in lust, you gotta keep. You gotta have sex with a new person every time. Cause how do you stay in lust with the same person?

[E]

You don't even like. Even if you have sex a lot with someone new after a little while, it's kind of like, let's just chill snacks. I don't know if there's any way to keep it lustful.

[A]

Because lust is good. Lust is like. Lust is like meeting somebody. Y' all been on several dates. You know, you want to give him the coochie, right? And this. This. This. This is the day. And y' all might be out of town or y', all, you know, in town and y' all just hanging out all day from like 10 o' clock that morning to 10 o' clock at night, all day. You thinking about how you gonna do this when you get on it. That is the feeling I wanna have in a relationship. Yes. How do you keep that going?

[E]

That's not drugs.

[A]

I think distance also, right?

[E]

Yeah, distance.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[E]

Being away from each other for some time does help. Let me tell you what makes this gonna sound crazy. And this is my toxic energy. But after a fight.

[A]

Here, this bitch.

[E]

Go after a fight, that lustful energy will reignite.

[A]

No, you might be a serial killer. I be so mad. I be so. I'd be after.

[E]

No, I'm saying after the fight has been resolved or pushed to the side or whatever y' all decide. You know, that first time after. Take me through there. Take me through there. Yeah.

[A]

I have yet to listen to that and hold that whole song. Have you listened to it?

[E]

That's pretty much the gist of it. If you heard that part, you heard the song.

[A]

Oh, something.

[E]

Yes. So tell me online you ain't never had, like, really passionate sex after y' all come back from a fight?

[A]

No, because I feel like when you. If you're not doing things to continuously fall in love, you falling out of love. So if we like having fights to where like. Yeah, like the makeup to breakup thing, I don't. I don't really particularly care for makeup to break up because the more we make up to break up, I'm falling out of love. That's how I get to that point. To not want you to even fucking touch me. You know what I'm saying? Like, I. I don't play them.

[E]

Not one time, like really passionate sex after y'. All.

[A]

That is fucking toxic. Is toxic crazy having.

[E]

Yeah, I like it.

[A]

I don't want no toxic sex. I want that shit to be happy.

[E]

I fix it. I wanted to be happy. But I mean, fights are going to happen. I can't imagine a relationship where you're never going to fight.

[A]

I feel like there's some people who. I thought, I saw this couple, you know how on Instagram they walk around the cities and then they stop? Couples like, hey, are y' all a couple? How long have y' all been together? It was this couple, a white couple, and they might have been like in their 50s or something like that look like 56, early 60s or something. And he was asking how long they were married, were together and they had been married for 31 years. She said that she didn't real. He lived in her building. She didn't realize he lived in her building. She saw him. They walked past each other and they both turn back and look at each other. Right. So now she realizes later on that evening while she's on a date with somebody else going into her apartment, that this her husband. Okay. So she said. They basically said from that like once they actually got together, they were inseparable from that day on. And they said how they do that is by basically having a competition on how to make the other one happy. Like, yeah, it's a competition. I want to make you happier than me. You made me yesterday. You know what I'm saying?

[E]

Oh, that's.

[A]

That's the type of luck. Yeah. I don't wanna. I don't want. I'm past in my life the turmoil. Shit. That shit was never a turnover for me. And I got ptsd. I really still be thinking about fights that I've had in relation. Yes. That shit has never been been. That's not good.

[E]

It's not good. It's not good. But the sex was good. I just remember after fight sex that was like very nice. So I'm just saying. Yeah.

[A]

I aspire for a relationship where there's no fights. I feel like it's possible, you know, if you find the actual person. Like, yes, you want to have disagreements, but different disagreements doesn't. Does not have to result into, you know, arguments. Yeah. To where you gotta like, you know.

[E]

That don't sound like a perfect.

[A]

You know what you. The. The part with when you were talking about Portia, because I did see that. That headline, right. She was saying how she's dating these two people, the man and the woman, but she was actually at doing somebody's live show or something. She was on stage talking and this is how the. The reports came out or whatever. But she was saying how these two people aren't narcissists. Right. They are not narcissists. They're healthy people. Right. So now she's being forced to check herself because those are the situations that she's used to. Right. And now like these people are checking her when she wants some.

[E]

Right.

[A]

So she might need to evaluate whether or not she was the narcissist in her other relationships.

[E]

Right.

[A]

That part is what I'm hearing is what I'm hearing like worry. I mean, and that's growth, right? That. That's definitely growth. So she was basically saying that, yeah, she be having to check Herself now, because these people are healthy.

[E]

So what you getting at? That I need to stop fighting with niggas. I mean, that's what you was doing.

[A]

I don't want nobody taking me through.

[E]

Put me through the madness.

[A]

You can talk me through these. Yeah, you can talk me through these orgasms, though. Please do that.

[E]

Yeah, I don't want to fight, but I just feel like it's inevitable. I don't want to fight a lot, you know, I just don't feel like. I just feel like if I'm in a relationship where there's never one fight over 30 years is boring. As in this relationship, we gotta fight.

[A]

At least one, like physical fight. At least.

[E]

No, not a fist fight. I don't want to get physical.

[A]

One of my exes told me he was gonna beat my ass when we turned 50. He was like, when we turn 50.

[E]

I' ma beat your ass on your 50th birthday. Not physical. I don't want to physically fight a man because just based on past experience, I know that I'm not gonna win. So I just don't wanna do that. I need to. I just wanna argue something once, at least once about something.

[B]

The wait was worth it. Positive affirmations and all the hard work. The keys to your dream home from the vision board have been secured. I see you. A whole new future awaits your planning. From top notch decor, but on a budget to late night backyard summer cookouts. Life feels good. Now comes the time to fill it with memories. What will you host first? Maybe movie night, Game night. Stories that make us laugh in spades. Tournaments that make us cry. First you need to get movers and new furniture. And what about party favors? Will there be a theme? Of course it's theme. Because you're always doing the most. Oh yeah. The food to cook or order out. Don't forget to put it in the group chat so everybody can already see who gonna be there. All that planning can be stressful, but insuring your home shouldn't be. And that's where State Farm comes in. Because State Farm agents can help you choose the coverage you need. Just call, go online or check out the app. An agent is ready to help so you can focus on showing off your new home. If you know, you know like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[A]

All I know is what I've been told. And that's a half truth is a whole lie.

[C]

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18 year old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved until a local homemaker, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[A]

I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her.

[C]

We know a story that law enforcement used to convict six people and that got the citizen investigator on national tv.

[E]

Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky.

[A]

Housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

[C]

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer prize winning journalist producer, and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find.

[D]

I did not know her and I.

[E]

Did not kill her or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y' all said.

[A]

They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on her. They made me say that I poured gas on her.

[C]

From Lava For Good. This is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system system will go in order to find someone to blame.

[B]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[C]

Listen to Graves county in the Bone Valley feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[D]

I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of Heavyweight, I help a centenarian mend a broken heart.

[A]

How can 101-year-old woman fall in love again?

[D]

And I help a man atone for an armed robbery he committed at 14.

[E]

And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a joke. And he got down.

[A]

And I remember feeling kind of a.

[E]

Surge of like, okay, this is power.

[D]

Plus. My old friend Gregor and his brother try to solve my problems through hypnotism. We could give you a whole brand new thing where you're, like, super charming.

[E]

All the time, being more able to.

[D]

Look people in the eye, not always hide behind a microphone. Listen to heavyweight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast. I had the incredible opportunity to sit down with the one, the only cardi b my marriage.

[F]

I felt the love dying. I was crying every day. I fell in the deepest depression that I had ever had.

[D]

How do you think you're misunderstood?

[F]

I'm not this evil, mean person that people think that I am. I'm too compassionate. I have sympathy for that. My man, you put so much heart.

[D]

And soul into your work. What's the hardest part for you to take that criticism?

[F]

This was not given to me. I worked my ass off from it. Even when I was a stripper, I' ma beat the beat. Best pole dancer in here.

[D]

When was the moment you felt I did it?

[F]

I still to this day, don't feel comfortable. I fight every day to keep this level of success because people want it, take it from you, so bad.

[D]

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

So it says that across adulthood, men report orgasms in about 70 to 85% of partnered encounters versus women. It's 46 to 58% for women. In a large US study of orientation differences, heterosexual men, 95% versus heterosexual women, 65%. Orgasm consistency. Lesbian women reported higher orgasm rates. Higher. Higher orgasm rates than heterosexual and bisexual women. Pointing. Pointing to technique slash communication, not female dysfunction. I never think it's female dysfunction.

[E]

No.

[A]

Like, now, one thing I always tell people, like, when they start talking about squirting and shit like that. Like, I gush all gush now, but, like, like squirting across the room and shit like that. Hey, maybe my coochie is broke. Because it doesn't do that across the room is crazy. Maybe it's broke. You know, I'm not into peeing up somebody's bed. And you, I'm damn sure not peeing at my own bed. We could do that nasty shit at your house.

[E]

I don't want to tell y' all what I do.

[A]

I'm shy. Oh, do you be squirting? Because I don't. My picture broke.

[E]

I'm not saying I'm embarrassed. I don't want to talk about it.

[A]

The mattress cover for Tammy. Get a good one. I was at Haberdy's this weekend. Haverty's had some good mattress covers on sale. You might need that plastic. That. Go on.

[E]

I said, I'm not saying so that.

[A]

Go in the bb. The baby bed, like the crib. That's what you probably need, Chad.

[E]

I hear that.

[A]

Next they got a nickname for your ass. Technique versus script. What actually happens or what actually helps. So it says clitoral reality check for me. For me, I do require a little clitoral stimulation while having sex. Like, I. Yeah, I. I'm not a lesbian, right? So if I'm giving me some head 30 times, you gotta girl second time. And now here's the third time so I can finish my thought. I'm not a. I'm not a lesbian. So we having sex. Like you got to follow up with some dick, Sir, I do not just want head the Whole time, right? You want a little finger in there while you eating it, too?

[E]

That's your. That's your go to.

[A]

Yeah, I need, like, a combo. Can I get a combo? So it says combined clitoral, vaginal plus vaginal stimulation is associated with more intense orgasms for more women. Focusing on penetration alone often misses the mark. You think that's true? Oh, you said niggas breathing on your neck. Does it?

[E]

I mean, right now. It's just so weird what I got going on right now. I'm just coming so easy. So, I don't know. You breathe a cool breeze, go across the back of my back, I'll be like, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, for real. We are in our prime. You know what I'm saying? I don't. I feel like I might be a little bit more horny now. And I hate that word, y', all, but horny. I feel like my libido is higher.

[E]

Very much higher now than it was.

[A]

You know, I'll say. 10 years ago.

[E]

Likewise.

[A]

Yeah. Because what. What was we doing? Right?

[E]

I agree. But I don't know why this conversation is making me uncomfortable, girl.

[A]

Cause you're fucking gay. You talking to me, bitch. Why is it uncomfortable?

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

Talk about sex anymore.

[E]

Listen, that's the crazy part, because we have had, like, some very explicit conversations on this show, and now all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, my God, My vag. That.

[A]

I'm embarrassed. It's not on display, though. Nobody's seeing it.

[E]

It feels like it. First of all, I just think, all right, so obviously, I've expressed that I've had experiences with women in my life, but I don't consider myself gay, even though Ashley tells me as much as possible that I am a man.

[A]

Had sex with a man one time.

[E]

I'm not a man.

[A]

It's different in college that one time.

[E]

It really is a double standard.

[A]

No, absolutely. To. To people who be on some gay. It is a double standing. For me, it's the same.

[E]

I lost my train of thought. I don't even know where the I was going with that. You.

[A]

I don't know. You were shy about talking about coming. Like, I don't know why? What is happening?

[E]

I am shy about it. I'm not shy about coming, but I'm shy about talking about it with y'.

[A]

All. Oh.

[E]

But now I do like it don't take much. I don't know if that rose unlocked some. Unlock something in me. Do y'? All? Yeah. That just made it happen real fast. Now I'm ready to go to bed and go to work.

[A]

I threw that thing in the trash. No hesitation either. Like, just really? You didn't like it after like a week? No, it's too much. And I don't even feel like it's like too much. Like it feels good. It's almost like. It's just. It's kind of irritating to me. And then I also saw a video where this girl had a tester on her radiation tester and it was giving off a lot of radiation.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Yes. So you zapping your coochie. Literally.

[E]

When I went all those months of not having any sex, I was definitely using that a lot. Let me tell you about my best friend. Like, I was using that thing all the time. But I think it might have unlocked something because now I don't use it as much because I have like a partner. And. Yeah, you don't have to work up very hard to get me where I need to be.

[A]

Yeah, I'm pretty easy nowadays as well. But yeah, I might be a little greedy though.

[E]

What do you mean?

[A]

Like, I be wanting to have sex often and I like marathons. Okay.

[E]

I want you to marathon for you.

[A]

Hour and a half.

[E]

You want to have a have sex for an hour and a half?

[A]

Yes, I do. I would like to have sex for an hour and a half, like, and that would include like the foreplay, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's the most important part to me. Right. And then, yeah, follow up with some dick for like 30 minutes and I mean we can stop and start, but like things have to be happening the whole time. I just mean like the full on session. Because sex for me is not just like penetration the whole time, okay. Like just all the things like still in the bed, rubbing up, kissing up, you know, watch a little bit of tv. Give a little head while you watching tv. Like all the things have to still be happening.

[E]

Oh, so that's a part of the sex?

[A]

Yes, watch the same kind. It's part of the sex. You watch TV like that. But I don't know. Singing on my microphone like I do around. I might run it off on the mic. Not the dick, but the actual mic. You sing a little bit. It's not six.

[E]

It's not. If you leave the dick to pick up a microphone. No longer six.

[A]

It's weird, okay? You be doing rap songs and scripts from movies.

[E]

That's actually.

[A]

You be freestyling and that's where a.

[E]

Man is getting no sex. If I break out the karaoke just know you going home the same way you came.

[A]

Listen, I don't have to have a marathon every session, you know what I'm saying? Because I do enjoy a nice quickie, okay? I do enjoy a nice quickie. Especially when you got shit to do or you just trying to get it out the way so you can go to sleep. I enjoy a nice quickie. Quickies are nice.

[E]

20 minutes.

[A]

But all I know, on a Saturday night, 20 minutes, that's a. I mean, 20 minutes is a good time.

[E]

That's all I need. Ever.

[A]

20 minutes straight. Pound out, pound town. 20 minutes?

[E]

Yeah, that's all I need. Yeah.

[A]

Pound town for 20 minutes is good.

[E]

Yeah, that's all.

[A]

That's good.

[E]

Anything overhead, I'm calling the police. Get off of me. Go. Like, what are you trying to do, kill me? I need some of this energy for tomorrow.

[A]

What is that phone call going to sound like to the police?

[E]

Excuse me, officer. I need you at this address right now. This man is trying to take my life. He tried to take my life for real.

[A]

Sex do be having you feeling drained also, you know what I'm saying? Like, it does exude a lot of energy. But if we go, like I'm just saying, on a nice Friday or Saturday night, I'm just saying 20 minutes. Maybe some drugs are involved, a little bit. A little bit of alcohol. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, a little fun. You get up and go drink some water and come back and do a little bit more stuff. That's not fun.

[E]

Bernie Mac bus a night. I said, look, my dear, that's it. I gotta go to bed. 20 minutes. If you ain't got it by 20.

[A]

Minutes, you ain't getting it once a month, man, I need a marathon at least once a month. That's all I'm asking. Am I asking for too much?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I don't know. I might be greedy. You might be a little greedy.

[E]

Maybe I'll be on drugs.

[A]

I might be a little, little, little tiny bit low.

[E]

Greedy.

[A]

What y' all think, though? Are y'. All. How's sex going? Okay. I am 41, actually, right. Sex is going great for me. I would like to know. Tammy, sex going great for you? Are you having sex now?

[E]

I am. I'm. Yes. Sex has been amazing.

[A]

Sounds good.

[E]

Yes, it has been really, really good.

[A]

Amazing sex in your 40s. It might be hard to come by for some people. I got puma pussy. I don't know about y', all, but how sex for y'?

[E]

All?

[A]

Y' all 40s. Okay. How is it? How's it going?

[E]

Nice. Yeah.

[A]

Do y' all have to use any special tools? Any special lubricants? No waterfalls.

[E]

My body's still doing what they need to do.

[A]

I know. Isn't it great? Yeah, great.

[E]

But I know, like, we're getting closer to the age where the body stop. And, you know, some people are experiencing that in our age group where their bodies aren't producing, but especially, like, imagine. All right, so imagine women our age who have been having sex with the same guy for 15 years or 10 years, or seven years or two years. I don't know. You know, you might not get as wet because, you know, he bought a stroke to the left for seven, stroke to the right for 14, and he gonna flip you over, lick your butt, flip you back over. Like, you know exactly what he gonna do. Like, you might not get.

[A]

You know, I think that's fun sometimes anticipating, like, you know, they about to do this thing. Like, I know it's up next. Like, your favorite thing you can't do. You do kind of get into a little routine like that. Oh, he about to. He about to eat my coochie off the side of the bed. That's my favorite.

[E]

They your favorite. If he do, he eats your coochie off the side every time for seven years. Oh, here comes the coochie off the side again.

[A]

I am not like a super freak, you know, I'm okay with the person. Whoever. My. Whoever I'm with. We gonna do all the things, like, a little bit, right? But I. I'm plain Jane, so it ain't a whole bunch of, like, what the fuck else you need? Like, hanging from the ceiling, like, what. What do y' all need? That's why y' all should not be out here doing all this bullshit because a man asked you to. Is never going to be a limit, right? I don't need that much to come. I don't need all that extra. So if your man need all that, you know, maybe he don't like you. I don't know. Maybe he's like, has a porn addiction.

[E]

Man get poor, too.

[A]

Or maybe has. Maybe he has a porn addiction. That's a. That's a problem in a lot of relationships.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So now you have this expectation of what sex is supposed to look like because you watching this. This. These game. You not paying me enough enough to do that. My. All right. Like, you gotta up the pay if you want some porn.

[E]

Do you watch porn?

[A]

I haven't in a long time. Like, will I watch porn. Yes. But it's, like, blocked in South Carolina. North Carolina right now. I can't watch no porn. But I was at one point, but then I was like, you just feel after it.

[E]

I never.

[A]

I just, like, have ideas. I have visions in my mind of my own sessions.

[E]

That's how I like. I discovered porn in 2017, and I was off of it by 2018. It just ain't. It don't do nothing for me.

[A]

You discovered porn in 17?

[E]

Yeah. I never looked at porn until 2017. And then I was like, yeah, I like, I needed my porn to have a plot. Like, I need to know how these people met.

[A]

You want soap opera porn?

[E]

Yeah, it has to be. Otherwise I'm just gonna be grossed out.

[A]

That little nasty music just come on. Yeah.

[E]

How much she said you paying me? The director. You can't see a package director.

[A]

Like, balls. Then she starts sucking the balls like you like that.

[E]

I need y' all to bump into each other at the grocery store or something. Like, give me something to make it clean.

[A]

Stuck a dick in the car in front of the Piggly Wiggly Cleaner.

[E]

Not the Piggly Wiggly. Tell everybody we're from the South.

[A]

Piggly Wiggly be bumping. They got that good ass.

[E]

Cafe.

[A]

Cafe. Cafeteria food.

[E]

They do. Oh, speaking of that, I heard New York finally got a Bojangles.

[A]

I saw that.

[E]

Congratulations, y'. All. You're gonna get fatter. Because that's what Bojangles does.

[A]

Do you eat?

[E]

Oh, you don't eat none of that.

[A]

Girl, the most I would eat from Bojangles is an egg biscuit.

[E]

Oh, they're both strawberries.

[A]

Strawberry. Strawberry jelly. But the bulberry biscuit don't taste like how it used to. Like, I remember. I remember how food used to taste as a kid. And this food ain't hitting on. So them blueberry biscuits used to be different.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

They ain't the same. They just taste like a biscuit. Now with blueberry before, it was like the dough was tasting different than a biscuit.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? It was different.

[E]

Not as quality as it once was. I feel like.

[A]

Yeah, but that's the only thing I eat from there. And then, you know, I would eat their fries. Because I do remember enjoying the french fries, but I know they'd be frying that with the chicken. So I don't eat the fries.

[E]

The last time I went to go to Bojangles, they got the fighting at the drive through window and I couldn't get my food. I was so pissed Off.

[A]

You know that on the application for Bojangles, McDonald's and buried kings, they say, can you fight? It's on the application.

[E]

Waffle House.

[A]

Oh, definitely. Definitely Waffle House.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

You better know Waffle House got Ru licensed to carry on. They appreciate be shooting and rightfully so. Because people come to Waffle House drunk shit, starting shit with them people who in there working, just trying to do their job. It's already hard enough. You work in a Waffle House at 3am, right?

[E]

And now you got this drunk motherfucker coming here mad because the eggs ain't fried hard enough and throwing a plate at you.

[A]

Yeah, did you see that? It was a video. This girl, like, she definitely sprayed Waffle House up from behind the counter like shot. She was the employee. Yes, because the was throwing hella at her. Yeah, she definitely shut that up. She went to jail, I'm pretty sure.

[E]

But that's why you gotta leave people alone. You don't know what where people at. Their 13th reason, you know?

[A]

So, yeah, they assaulted her first.

[E]

All right. Do we have any more things to say about your vagina before we go?

[A]

It's nice.

[E]

I don't even like, like when I'm talking to a guy. I don't like using the word P. I don't like that word.

[A]

Why?

[E]

It just sound dirty.

[A]

You don't even say it during sex.

[E]

I don't like it. It sounds dirty, girl.

[A]

Hello?

[E]

Can you stop calling it a vagina? I don't like you calling it a vagina.

[A]

I want to hear that.

[E]

I don't like to. Yeah, that sound dirty.

[A]

So what you want to call it? You got a name?

[E]

China.

[A]

That is so ugly.

[E]

My vagina.

[A]

I like the word. It's such a nice word. I don't like the word a horny though. But is nice word.

[E]

Another word I don't like.

[A]

What?

[E]

Moist. And if you put that one in front of Pete, gross me out.

[A]

How would you even say that? It's wet. Okay? It's wet, man. Y' all nasty.

[E]

Yeah, I don't like.

[A]

Was this lady on Instagram, she would always make videos like this moist old white lady.

[C]

Moist.

[E]

Moist.

[A]

Yuck.

[E]

Stop, please.

[A]

We ain't doing enough on social media because you literally could just do anything on that bitch and right. Go viral.

[E]

That's. That's what we need to get into. That is our greatest endurance in life, is a social.

[A]

Just go ahead and say vagina. Vagina.

[E]

Yeah, that's it. Sounds nice and clean. All right, ladies, what's my last. Last for y'. All don't be afraid to tell your guy what it takes to get you where you need to be. If you out here faking every time you're doing yourself a disservice, just have a conversation and tell them because, you know, women be doing that, never expressing what they need to get them where they need to be.

[A]

I agree. I concur. Into just to piggyback off of what you were saying. Be honest with that nigga, because when it. When he get over here, he gonna know you was lying. Cause I'm gonna tell him he a goddamn lie. His dick ain't hit.

[E]

Don't you.

[A]

Start over. Start from the top. Start from top. They can't stop lying to these because when they get to a real one, she gonna hurt their feelings for real. It's gonna be like a little like he's went 30 years thinking he'd be busting some shit up somewhere. And even the term busting up, you know, you don't want to bust the coochie up. You want it to feel nice. Yeah.

[E]

Because some guys think that if you're screaming that they're doing a good job, that's not stop either. I'm calling the police. Once again, what are you trying.

[A]

If I got. If I gotta do like this on your stomach one too many times, it's over. Actually, if I gotta tap, especially we ain't married. You might. You're not about to be busting my up like that.

[E]

Yeah, like, what are you trying to do? What are you trying to prove here?

[A]

This is a rental. And it's a big body bins. You're not about to be crashing my out like that. So if I got to too many times. There's a time and place for everything. And I don't want to get beat up, you know, for the marathon. Yeah, yeah. Get off me. So. Yeah. Please be honest.

[E]

Yeah. You out here hurting your coochie when he eat it and you scared to say something? No.

[A]

Oh, girl, what now you about to take me someplace else? This whole conversation I'm thinking about all type of. You ever have somebody bite your coochie? Like literally try to eat your coochie?

[E]

No.

[A]

I had a eat my coochie once. To where I had to get the mirror to make sure I wasn't missing a piece down there.

[E]

He was biting. He was nibbling on your vagina.

[A]

I have never felt anything. I have never felt that type of excruciating pain before.

[E]

Oh, he tried to bite your clitoris off.

[A]

He was trying to eat it like, literally serious.

[E]

Did you hit him in the top of his head?

[A]

Almost, you know, like that fist was up, like.

[E]

Like, what you trying to do? But he didn't know. Maybe the last girl liked her is bit. No.

[A]

I don't know. Don't nibble on my coochie, okay? It's for sucking and licking. That's it. Yeah, like, who. Who told you to. To literally eat coochie?

[E]

To bite it off. It's crazy. Yeah, tell him tonight, girl. Tell him tonight if you listen.

[A]

No, that ain't who bit my coochie. This is a long time ago.

[E]

There's somebody listening. Who killed you getting bitten every time.

[A]

Oh, my Gucci.

[E]

Like, I'm.

[A]

I'm shooting. You bite my coochie nowadays, you gonna get shot in the head.

[E]

He do be hurting me. I'm gonna tell him. Girl, did you just say at night you don't have to be mean about it.

[A]

Don't wait till after, though. You have to just like a dog. When you're training a dog, you have to catch them in the act while they're doing the thing. You can't reprimand them after they've already done the thing. So you got to do, like, literally. Why he licking that coochie? Like, I don't like that. That doesn't feel good. Do it like this. Men like instruction. Men like instructions. They like boundaries, you know? Just say it nice and sweet. No, baby, I want you to do it like.

[E]

Do it like this.

[A]

Talk to him real low.

[E]

And then give him positive reinforcement when he do it right.

[A]

Good boy.

[E]

Good boy. Good, good boy. Now, I don't know about that, but, man, good boy. You be saying good boy to your.

[A]

No. Hell no. But I like a. To say good girl to me.

[E]

Yeah, I like that, too. Yes.

[A]

All right, y', all, we getting out of here because this is freaking.

[E]

They were embarrassed.

[A]

Here come this horny ass cat, y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

My cat. And he. That's how I be.

[E]

Y' all crazy.

[A]

All right, y', all, if you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect iHeartradio app and web it up. You get your podcast at this your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram's Kick It Tam, y'.

[E]

All. It's official Tam Bam on Instagram, y'. All. Please follow me. Also, follow our podcast page. It's We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. Follow us there as well. Y' all, remember that I love you. If nobody else loves you, I love you. And remember, speak now.

[A]

And never hold your oh yeah, oh.

[E]

This is by.

[A]

We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[B]

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