The Happiness Gap

Summary

We Talk Back: "The Happiness Gap" (July 23, 2026)

Hosts: TamBam & AJ (The Black Effect Podcast Network / iHeartPodcasts)

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Episode Overview

This episode, titled "The Happiness Gap," dives into the paradox of modern life: while many of us have more “stuff” and access than ever before, genuine happiness and peace feel harder to attain. Hosts TamBam and AJ use their signature raw, comedic, and unfiltered style to discuss everything from AI discrimination, societal pressures, money, relationships, and the impact of social comparison on happiness. They also reflect on concerts, personal milestones, funny life moments, and coping mechanisms for staying sane and happy in an often frustrating world.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Weekend Recap, Black Joy & Empowerment (02:16–06:51)

• AJ shares her wild weekend experiences: seeing Jeezy in Vegas, meeting him, and attending a Mary J. Blige concert.

  • AJ reflects on the power and resilience of Black women, using Mary J. Blige as an example of someone who had her feminine energy taken advantage of by men but ultimately recognizes her worth.
    • Quote: “Women, we really gotta know our fucking power. Like, Mary J. Blige been that bitch her entire life ...imagine in relationships when men who have, like, ciphered her energy…and it took her to 55 years old to realize that she that bitch.” (05:50, AJ)

• TamBam celebrates her birthday, focusing on self-care and family time instead of the usual romantic getaway. She visits the African American History Museum and recommends a new African fusion restaurant in DC (“Dogon”).

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2. Tech, AI & Systemic Barriers for Black Job-Seekers (13:22–18:32)

• AJ brings up Workday’s class-action lawsuit over alleged AI-driven job discrimination, highlighting how automated platforms can block Black and older candidates from opportunities.
  • Quote: “They were using AI software, right, to discriminate against people…More than 80% of US employers now use some form of AI. And of course, black applicants…” (14:39, AJ)
  • Insight: Tech’s “objectivity” actually encodes hidden biases.
• Discussion expands to privacy (biometric facial scans at airports) and the normalization of surveillance.
  • TamBam: “How they making robots racist, n***a, y’all?” (16:38)

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3. Weird Relationships, Gender & Sexuality (20:17–25:22)

• Stories of betrayal and secrecy:
  • Viral story of a woman whose boyfriend used her photos to catfish men.
    • Notable reaction: “Well, the whole world gets to see my pussy, so no, it can’t stay in house.” (21:40, AJ, retelling victim’s words)
• Discussion on men on the down-low and secrets revealed (including a South Carolina woman discovering her late husband’s long history of sex with men).
  • Quick explainer on LGBTQ+ terms: “verse bottom” = versatile, mostly prefers receiving during sex, occasionally gives (24:25–24:50).
• Reflection on trust, safety, and honesty in relationships.

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4. Racial Stereotypes & Cultural Appropriation: Burger Chain Controversy (25:29–29:12)

• Outrage over Argentina’s “Big Nigga Burger” viral story:
  • AJ: “They know exactly what the fuck they doing…We always being gaslit by everybody.” (27:10)
• Broader conversation about global obsession with Blackness, negative stereotypes, and whitewashed histories in Latin America.
  • TamBam: “Why are people so obsessed with us? Goodness…” (28:44)

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5. The “Happiness Gap” — Modern Dissatisfaction (30:09–44:07, 53:03–73:12)

Why are we less happy in an age of abundance?

• AJ asks: “Why do we have more stuff...But I feel like most people still feel less fulfilled?” (34:30)
• Social and economic pressures: Rent, inflation, debt, subscription culture, and shifting definitions of adulthood.
  • AJ: “It is not as hard as our parents had it…It’s just not…But now we have all these…they just don’t want us owning anything.” (35:38)
• The grind and “debt culture” (iPhones, streaming, endless bills).
  • TamBam: “I love my iPhone, but I also hate iPhone because it’s like I’m always gonna owe you money.” (37:59)
• The cost of everything (hotel fees, concert tickets, etc.) saps joy from experience.
  • “The bottled water was $20, girl.” (40:27, AJ)

The Impact of Social Media & Comparison

• TamBam admits comparison and jealousy once robbed her of joy—especially regarding family, finances, or relationship milestones friends achieved first.
  • “Comparison was my greatest thief of joy.” (61:05, TamBam)
• Mental health: The hosts agree that happiness is a “state of mind,” not a pile of material things.

Real Talk on Money, Relationships & Daily Joy

• Discussing the myth that "real dates" require spending a lot of money.

  • TamBam: “I was like, we can go get a rotisserie chicken, some Hawaiian rolls, and a cheap bottle of champagne, and let's put a blanket down in the park…” (54:00)
  • AJ: “If a woman likes you, you really can come with nothing… because any man that will show up to a woman with nothing, he doesn’t really like her.” (54:02)

• Debunking the idea that wealth guarantees happiness:

  • AJ: “I know you can’t buy happiness, right? Well, I mean, kinda. Yeah, kinda.” (68:42–68:46)
  • “Most of these people need to fucking lose weight and figure out how to get more money. That is mostly the reason why you depressed, bitch. You broke and fat.” (68:46–69:09, AJ, high-comic sarcasm)

• The peace of “not giving a fuck” about society’s definition of success.

  • TamBam: “I really don’t be giving a fuck no more. Like all these things like that I was chasing … they just don’t define me in a way that they used to.” (46:36)
  • “If you have high interest rate credit cards. Just stop paying them shit right now because credit ain’t even real.” (57:29, AJ)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 05:50 | AJ | “Women, we really gotta know our fucking power. Like, Mary J. Blige been that bitch her entire life…imagine in relationships when men who have, like, ciphered her energy…and it took her to 55 years old to realize that she that bitch.” | | 14:39 | AJ | “They were using AI software, right, to discriminate against people…More than 80% of US employers now use some form of AI. And of course, black applicants…” | | 16:38 | TamBam | “How they making robots racist, n***a, y’all?” | | 21:40 | AJ (quoting a viral TikTok victim) | “Well, the whole world gets to see my pussy, so no, it can’t stay in house.” | | 28:44 | TamBam | “Why are people so obsessed with us? Goodness…” | | 34:30 | AJ | “Why do we have more stuff...But I feel like most people still feel less fulfilled?” | | 37:59 | TamBam | “I love my iPhone, but I also hate iPhone because it’s like I’m always gonna owe you money.” | | 46:36 | TamBam | “I really don’t be giving a fuck no more. Like all these things like that I was chasing… they just don’t define me…” | | 53:59 | TamBam | “I was like, we can go get a rotisserie chicken, some Hawaiian rolls, and a cheap bottle of champagne, and let's put a blanket down in the park…” | | 61:05 | TamBam | “Comparison was my greatest thief of joy.” | | 68:46 | AJ | “Most of these people need to fucking lose weight and figure out how to get more money. That is mostly the reason why you depressed, bitch. You broke and fat.” (Comic, but calls out social & personal responsibility) | | 71:12 | TamBam | “Happiness is a choice. So choose it every day. Find a way to choose it on purpose.” | | 72:12 | AJ | “Happiness and peace only comes via gratitude and being grateful for the things you have and just knowing the things that you want and you might not even need…” |

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Key Takeaways & Advice

• Happiness is a choice and requires discipline, gratitude, and self-acceptance more than material abundance. “Find a way to choose it on purpose.” (71:12, TamBam)
• Social media’s version of ‘success’ is toxic and manufactured—peace comes from shutting out comparison.
• The systems (tech, finance, government) are not designed for you; don’t let them steal your peace or distract you from living.
• Love and joy aren’t about expensive dates or bags—it’s about genuine connection and peace of mind.
• Debt and money worries are a collective burden; don’t let them consume you.
• Invest in physical and mental wellness—it’s more tied to happiness than possessions.
• Gratitude is a daily practice and the surest path to lasting peace.

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Suggested Listening Order & Segment Timestamps

• 02:16 – 12:42: Weekend recaps, Black joy, reflections
• 13:22 – 18:32: AI discrimination, tech & systemic bias
• 20:17 – 25:22: Relationships, betrayal, sexuality, trust
• 25:29 – 29:12: Appropriation, “Big Nigga Burger”, global Black stereotypes
• 30:09 – 44:07: The “Happiness Gap”: Economic pressures, social media, modern dissatisfaction
• 53:03 – 73:12: Relationships & money, peace vs. happiness, lessons on gratitude, life advice, self-worth

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Tone: Bold, direct, comedic, and unfiltered—AJ & TamBam call out the bullshit, uplift their listeners, and deliver gems with both laughter and hard truths.

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For more unfiltered advice, hilarious stories, and real talk, follow We Talk Back every Thursday on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Tam Bam]

Guaranteed.

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[T-Mobile Ad Voice]

All?

[AJ Holiday]

It's DJ Envy and I'm at the

[Starz Fightland Promo Voice]

premiere of Starz new show Fightland, executive produced by 50 Cent.

[AJ Holiday]

Now fifth, tell us about Fightland.

[50 Cent]

I put my reputation on the line

[AJ Holiday]

saying that you're going to enjoy this

[Tam Bam]

and appreciate it as much as you

[50 Cent]

appreciated anything from me to this point.

[Tam Bam]

Now that sounds promising.

[AJ Holiday]

Fightland is the next level.

[50 Cent]

I'm a huge boxing fan, so to bring this world to life in a new premium crime drama is special to me.

[Starz Fightland Promo Voice]

You heard the man.

[AJ Holiday]

Catch the new series fightland, kicking off

[Starz Fightland Promo Voice]

July 31st, only on Starz. Now let me go catch the premiere.

[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network. Talk to him.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. Who talks back?

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'.

[Sephora Ad Voice]

All.

[Tam Bam]

It's Tam Bam. I love y' all so much. Thank y' all for coming back again this week. How was your weekend, girl?

[AJ Holiday]

My weekend was lit. I was outside.

[Tam Bam]

You did have a good weekend.

[AJ Holiday]

Anytime I go outside, people be messaging me like, oh, you was outside? Yes, bitch. Cause it's very. I be doing shit. I just don't want to share all the shit. But, yes, this weekend was very lit. Okay. I was very drunk. Friday night at Jeezy concert started standing on furniture, and security had to tell me to get down.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, you having the time.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, he said, y' all might as well take your shoes off and get on the chairs. So I was the only person who did it, though. I love Jeezy, man. The fucking concert was super lit. If y' all haven't went to Vegas yet to check out Jeezy black tie affair, it's a big ass formal family reunion. Okay?

[Tam Bam]

Is it the time I need to go?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I did get to meet Jeezy. I feel like I met Jeezy before a long time ago, like in Colombia, you know, like Columbia always been a hub. He said he's born. He was born in Charleston. The whole time I thought he was born in Columbia.

[Tam Bam]

I always thought it was Augusta.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, No, I knew it wasn't Augusta. I thought it was Columbia, but he said, no, he was born in Charleston.

[Tam Bam]

Hmm.

[AJ Holiday]

Interesting, right? But, yeah, Jeezy was a good time, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

And did y' all stay the whole weekend? Yes, we went to Mary on Saturday.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, y', all.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't give a fuck what y' all was talking about about Mary and how she be up there resting. Cause I be delusional sometimes. So I did, like, prepare my throat just in case, like, she needed me to swap out and come bust her. Yeah, do a little one, too. In my mind, like, I was gonna get caught up on stage to do that, but Mary did her thing. Okay, Y' all gotta remember, Mary is 55 years old or some like that. Like, this is not a young woman. But when I tell y' all, Mary is beautiful. She's beautiful. She looked real good. She looked. She looked blissed. Okay, if she need a break, I heard.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

No, she need a break.

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

She needed.

[AJ Holiday]

She needs to get the break. Like, can you perform for two hours?

[Tam Bam]

It depends on dancing, what we performing.

[AJ Holiday]

Not. Not that type of oral. Two hours worth of aura is wild singing or second dick.

[Tam Bam]

I'm not Corinne Stefan shout out to career Stephens.

[AJ Holiday]

You know my job up, child.

[Tam Bam]

You get a Good.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't even want to say ten minutes out me. I'd be, like, getting off of it and doing, like, this. Can y' all hear it cracking right now?

[Tam Bam]

No, we can't hear it.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all can't hear that? Oh, cracking on the dick. But, man, Mary looks so good. Like, she. She didn't. For some reason, she didn't sing all the, like, the super. She did a lot of the good songs, but then she, like, skip a couple, and then, like, she had him playing. Had the DJ playing them, like, during the interlude. Girl, I wanted to sing them songs aloud with you. Like, why you ain't perform those particular songs?

[Tam Bam]

But she's sick of them songs.

[AJ Holiday]

Probably. One thing I was feeling while watching Mary is that women, we really gotta know our fucking power. Like, Mary J. Blige been that bitch her entire life at this point. But imagine in relationships when men who have, like, ciphered her energy, and it took her to 55 years old to realize that she that bitch, right? Because you have had men, like, not treating you like you that bitch, right? So you kind of internalize it. And based off how you're being treated, like, as if you're not worthy or deserving, all I could think about is, like, how people have utilized her divine feminine energy for everything. Yes, yes, man. And, you know, she just. You know, she started singing. No more drama and all that stuff. Like, I could see the, you know, going through the songs like, my life was a great album, but this shit did teach us, like, pain and that this is where relationships are and it's just not.

[Tam Bam]

All right, Shit.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Like, it did help people get through things because it's relatable. But, man, I'm telling y', all, relationships do not. When I tell you, my nigga just be, like, built insecurity and be letting me wild out like a badass fucking kid. When we together, bitch, I get to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

He was there.

[50 Cent]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, for real, man. Through the airport. He gonna carry all my shit, bitch. I just get to skip around like a badass kid. I love that. And that is how, like, if you with somebody who's not fucking treating you like a goddess, get out of there.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Because that's how it's supposed to be. Like, real men know the real value of women and what we are on this planet. That's all I'm gonna say. But that's how I felt this weekend watching Mary. I love her so much.

[Tam Bam]

Did you get to meet her at the end?

[AJ Holiday]

No, I didn't we didn't.

[Tam Bam]

Mary went home. Larry said, I ain't meeting nobody tonight.

[AJ Holiday]

Apparently she had a meet and greet earlier that day and she had a show Friday and Saturday and did her thing. Yeah, like she. She worked all weekend. And another thing I thought about was these niggas be still having to work. Like people think just because they're millionaires, like, they have more bills now, right? So they paycheck to paycheck look a little different from ours.

[50 Cent]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

But it's the same shit, just a different scale.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Same shit. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Well, this weekend, I celebrated my birthday.

[AJ Holiday]

Ew. We should have started there. Happy birthday. Big ten. Bam.

[Tam Bam]

Thank you.

[AJ Holiday]

Tell us Cancers out there.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, all the cancers. Cancer season over though, the 23rd. So by the time you hear this, it will be Leo season. Shout out to Leo. Every year I typically go some to some island with somebody's son. This year, I did not do that. And I did not even care to do that, because even if it was like last minute, I'd just pick a son and go with them, but.

[AJ Holiday]

Eenie, meenie miny ho, Catch a nigga by his toe.

[Tam Bam]

But I didn't even feel like being bothered with nobody's son. This year I got me and my sisters. My sister lives in. My oldest sister lives in D.C. so I flew to D.C. aaron and Janae shout out to them. They flew in. And Tanya, my little sister, flew in. Pregnant. Erin's pregnant. So we went to. Really?

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

I didn't know that.

[Tam Bam]

So we went to the Africans behind.

[AJ Holiday]

And when they don't post, not. Not me now, but when bitches don't be posting, they be pregnant. Not me, though.

[Tam Bam]

No, but that's what people was thinking. You was pregnant.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Cause we recording.

[AJ Holiday]

I was big as a fucking house. That's about it. But no, don't be wearing recording this weekend.

[Tam Bam]

I'm fat and I don't want to hear shit about it.

[Starz Fightland Promo Voice]

Exactly.

[AJ Holiday]

We fighting if you say something.

[Tam Bam]

So we went to the African American History Museum. I'd never been. Everybody else had been a few times, but I'd never been. So I wanted to go. We did that. We did. Saturday. We went to the spa that morning and we stayed till six at night. It was amazing. Balling springs. If you're in the D.C. area or you visit, try that spy out. It was like so many different rooms and so much to do that you could just literally be there all day. It was so great.

[AJ Holiday]

Someplace like that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was. It was excellent. All the saunas, all the different LED light room and salt room and relaxation room. And they had one room was like. It looked like you were in an aquarium. Like, it was just like fish and like, you just like in the center of an aquarium. It was just so great.

[AJ Holiday]

That sounds so tranquil.

[Tam Bam]

It was. It was. I went to sleep in there. I was in there snoring. Everybody. I woke up. Motherfuckers was looking at me like, this is supposed to be a peaceful space.

[Veronica Roth]

Sorry,

[AJ Holiday]

that dried up spit on the side, right?

[Veronica Roth]

Exactly.

[Tam Bam]

Then that night we went to Doggone, which is like a African fusion cuisine new place in D.C. when I tell you that food was so good. Oh, my gosh, it was so, so good. If y' all go to dc, go there. Doggone. They just opened. It was hard to get a reservation there, but we made it happen. So if you go there, try their food. And then on Sunday, I went to park. And do you remember the twins that went to Benedict with us? Jeremy and I can't remember the older twin. The other twin one was big.

[AJ Holiday]

Remember Leon Lo? I remember them big. From Philly or Jersey or something. No, they was ones.

[Tam Bam]

I remember they was from the D.C. area. But it was bad. I can't remember. Like, they was bad kids. Girl, why? When I walk up to the park, I hear somebody hollering my name. Like, who the is it? It's the police. I said, oh, that's the police. It was one of the twins. They both police officers now. I couldn't believe it. I was like, y' all were so awful. And now y' all are law enforcement. That's crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

Now they get to be bad with a badge.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

That's like, really how you're supposed to do it. If you're gonna sell drugs, just be a police officer. You can steal drugs and sell them at the same time, Right? Get advice and steal the money.

[Tam Bam]

And that was a good time. They had, like, bottomless. Like, food was bottomless. Most was bottomless. Yeah. Like, you could just keep eating, but you got a two hour time limit there. But we was in there like three hours and change, you know? But it says each table is two hours. But they ain't put us out because my sister paid for them to put, like a big sign up that said, happy birthday, Tam Bam. And it was just a nice time with my girls and my sisters. So that was it. It was very. No clubs. We ain't do no clubs. We ain't do none of that. It was just more like. I mean, park is kind of like a club ish. It's food. You know how brunch is lit.

[AJ Holiday]

That sounds like a birthday.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it was good. And I did not get laid. That was the only thing that didn't happen. But it's okay. I don't have to, I think.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, I. I feel like I have went a couple times on a birthday without sex now, but just go to sleep.

[Tam Bam]

I didn't even do that because, yeah, I slept with my sister. It would have been weird.

[AJ Holiday]

Your sister would have put your ass the out.

[Tam Bam]

Yes, she would have. The hell it's wrong with you.

[AJ Holiday]

That's sexual harassment.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, let's get into sins. Y' all know how I have said on this show multiple times that if you are in the job market, if you are trying to enter the workforce, you better not put that you are black slash African American. Like, they have it listed on the applications. You better put that you white. I. I put either I do white or I do Indian. Like when I was in the job market, right. But workday is the AI software that most of these companies use now, their HR software. And it has. They. They've basically been in court since last year. A black man by the name of Derek Mobley filed a lawsuit against them. And it's now it's a class action lawsuit for discrimination. Basically. He was rejected from a hundred jobs using Workday's platform, often within minutes of applying. He said he would get like, you know, rejection letters, like in the middle of the night, like, how did anybody review my shit that soon to reject my application? So I brought. He probably just got fed up, like, what the fuck? We already know, like this is happening. So they're using AI software, right, to discriminate against people. And you see, like the housing market, houses cost half a million dollars. Who's getting the income to pay for these things? We aren't even when we're qualified because our application isn't even getting in front of the hiring manager, right? It says court filing suggests 1.1 billion job applications were rejected through workday system during the relevant period. More than 80% of US employers now use some form of AI. And of course, black applicants. So race,

[Sephora Ad Voice]

age.

[AJ Holiday]

So they. They were kicking out people who were over the age of 40. That's our generation that we have all this student loan debt. Y' all told us to go to fucking college. And now you won't give us the jobs to pay the money back because all student loans is. Is a cash advance on your future paychecks because they don't have enough money to Let everybody go to school, right? So essentially it's just a cycle of bullshit. And then y' all not employing us. Like, what the is up with that?

[Tam Bam]

And then wonder why a become a police?

[AJ Holiday]

To sell crack or where are my scamming ass at?

[Tam Bam]

Cause you have to, right? What you gonna do?

[AJ Holiday]

Scam.

[Tam Bam]

What you gonna do?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So you work day, right? Work day with some other one.

[Tam Bam]

I hope you have adp.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tam Bam]

ADP for sure.

[AJ Holiday]

They were trying to get the courts to throw it out, but the judge in California where the case is currently

[Tam Bam]

in federal court, said, hell nah, I'mma hear it good.

[AJ Holiday]

Yep.

[Tam Bam]

Cause that's just terrible. But I mean, just more of the same, just finding new ways to discriminate against.

[AJ Holiday]

This is lazy as fuck. Now you don't got to get your application and see your email address, say holidaystylesmail.com, right?

[Tam Bam]

How they making robots? Racist nigger, y'.

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

I any chance I get to push back against the establishment, I take it. So when I was coming back from. From either I was going to or coming back from Costa Rica, like, I never do the facial recognition shit in the airports. And one of the TSA people at security, they, you know, you got to go through customs. One of the customs agents was like, trying to give me a hard time, like, making me. Try to make me feel like I'm being like, difficult. Because you can opt out, right? But then they always make you, like, go through a longer line or some stupid shit, right? I got pre check, so I shouldn't have to go through all the bullshit. Pre check and global entry, so I shouldn't even have to go through all the bullshit. But when you don't let them do your biometric testing, because that's what they doing, they're scanning your face, which that shit is racist as fuck, because they'll line you up for a crime you ain't commit based on how your eyes slanted just based on the skin color. So that's the problem with AI, because humans are still programming these things behind the scenes. It's not like AI is just doing its thing. It's programming, it's coding that's done by a human for now. Until AI starts writing its own code.

[Tam Bam]

Let me tell you something exactly. And then that's when the apocalypse will begin. Let me tell you, that fucking machine at the airport, if I don't smile, it flags me every time I have to smile. If I just stand there and look, they'll definitely be like, oh, no, you have to go over here and they have to check you.

[AJ Holiday]

You just ask to opt out. You don't have to do any of those things. You can ask to do it the traditional way. The way that the government is able to do things is because the people are complicit and we don't question shit.

[Tam Bam]

Okay?

[AJ Holiday]

It's gonna be people like me that make sure some of us live. Cause you remuted your mic.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Yeah. Cause you feel like it's saving you time by, oh, now I can just show my face. And now.

[Sephora Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Cause I mean, they already got my shit all over the place now. I done been doing all them Facebook.

[AJ Holiday]

But the thing is, if they already got our faces, why we gotta do this every time? You see what I'm saying? If the thing is that, oh, they got our DNA or they got our faces, why do we have to do these things every single time? Then if that were the case, to

[Tam Bam]

make sure it's you.

[AJ Holiday]

They type me, man. They. You got my. I can give you my driver's license and my port, my passport and my flight ticket. That's all you need. You don't need me to scan my fucking eyes into some shit, right,

[Tam Bam]

baby? We're on the way to them chipping everybody, so.

[AJ Holiday]

They already chipped us. The cell phone is a chip. We can't do nothing without it. You ever tried to go a day without, like, having the phone? They don't have to. Physically.

[Tam Bam]

You can't even order food at a restaurant no more without a phone. You need the QR code to see a menu and.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. Yeah, we can go on to the next step. I'm gonna say this one last thing. They. Some people are fucking chipped. I was talking to a guy in the airport about this because he tried to, like, say some slick shit to me. He was like, you already got nanobots in your body? I said, I am not vaccinated because that is how those nano nanobots were placed in some people's body. Do some research on MRNA Moderna, that particular company, and how they first had the vaccine named as technology. They go to archives.org and you can see the original heading on their website, which has now been taken down.

[Tam Bam]

I ain't take that shot. All right, hold on. Listen to this. This creator on social media. All right, this creator has gone viral after sharing her experience of being catfished by her ex boyfriend, who used her photos to solicit new images from men. Wow.

[AJ Holiday]

He was using her to catfish men?

[Tam Bam]

Men. Yikes. She became suspicious during their relationship and decided to look through his phone, believing he might be cheating. Although she initially didn't find much, just some dating apps, she discovered that her own photos were being used in a profile where he was pretending to be her. He had been sending her intimate pictures in exchange for new photos from men on these apps. Damn. She has since filed a report, and he was arrested for the unlawful use and distribution of photos. Can you imagine?

[AJ Holiday]

I couldn't. If you actually. If y' all see this online and she's actually telling what happened, like, on TikTok or some shit, she said that she had already filed a police report and they were going, like, to his. This just. Just happened 4th of July. She said they were going to his family's house for fourth of July, and she had the police come near to pick him up because she needed. She was already, like, you know, getting her own place and all that stuff. She needed him away to do what she. What she needed to do. And now his family is harassing her, talking about, this could have stayed in house. She like, well, the whole world gets to see my pussy, so no, it can't stay in house.

[Tam Bam]

Right, Right.

[AJ Holiday]

And your son has violated me. This is why I prefer niggas mama to be the ancestors. Unless they're good people. Unless they're good people.

[Kal Penn]

I like you.

[Tam Bam]

I like that you've changed it to unless they're good people. Because before it was better.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I would say unless they're in a healthy relationship.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, yeah, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I would always say that. Now the mamas and sisters, they gotta have their own nigga because this mine. This my nigga. This my fish. So, yeah, she was saying how she had his ass picked up at his mama's house, basically at a cookout. And, you know, he was right for. She said he was acting like leading, like she knew what was going on. Like, she. She could have been acting some way towards him, but she said any little thing she did just acting normal was annoying the fuck out of him because he don't really like women. And this is what we be saying when men are abusive towards women is because y' all be battling. Not y'. All not saying every man right. But those men are battling their sexuality.

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

And so they can't show up as them real selves. So now you get. You're getting mad at the. The weaker link that's closest to you, basically. Like, you feel like that's. That woman is weaker, so you're taking it out on her instead of just being your fucking self.

[Tam Bam]

There's this woman on TikTok now, she is from Columbia, South Carolina, and her husband died. She didn't say how he died. He was in his 70s. But she is reading. It's called Blue panties and bourbon. I think that's what it's called. And she's reading emails. She's been going through her husband's emails. He was gay for a long time, and he was soliciting sex from men for a long time. And she just was reading all the emails.

[AJ Holiday]

She never knew how did he die?

[Tam Bam]

That's what I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

Is she okay?

[Tam Bam]

She seems to be. She like in her 50s. She like 54. He was 71. And she said, I'm reading these emails to y' all cause I can't afford therapy. So here we go. And she just reads all the emails. And I'm telling you, it goes there. He was really having a good time. And like, people from Forest Acres, South Carolina, Columbia, are, like, upset with her because apparently he was like, well respected. Well respected figure in the community.

[AJ Holiday]

And now she's probably a churchgoer, right?

[Tam Bam]

Tarnishing his name. But no, he took his name too, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Cause he should have been himself. You see, the thing is, is that you're putting somebody else's life in your hand. You need to be exposed, right?

[Tam Bam]

I agree. And he said he was a verse bottom, y'.

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

All.

[Tam Bam]

If y' all know what that is, please tell auntie because I don't know what that means.

[AJ Holiday]

We gotta ask Chatgpt, what is a verse bottom? That mean he could do, like what?

[Tam Bam]

Maybe he could do it on a handstand in reverse. Wait a minute.

[AJ Holiday]

What is a verse bottom? Verse bottom? Verse is short for versatile, referring to a person who enjoys both giving and receiving during sex. A verse bottom, or sometimes versatile bottom means the individual prefers to be the receiver, the bottom, but is open to or enjoys taking the giving top position on occasion.

[Tam Bam]

So he was getting fucked and ready to give too.

[AJ Holiday]

But that wasn't his preference. His preference was being a bottom bottom.

[Tam Bam]

That's so scary.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know if that makes a difference. My nigga's a bottom versus a top. Like, does it make a difference?

[Tam Bam]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

Remember for black girls? What's the movie? Not for black girls.

[Tam Bam]

For colored girls. Oh, you doing the bending?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Oh, you doing the bending?

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Interest girl.

[Tam Bam]

I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

This world is terrible, man.

[Tam Bam]

And you just never know who you're laying next to. It's kind of scary.

[AJ Holiday]

It is. It is. It's very much so scary. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. So Y'. All. So Spain was recently beat in the FIFA World cup by. Excuse me. Argentina was recently beat in the FIFA World cup by. By Barcelona, Spain. And since then, this particular restaurant has been going viral. It is called. It's a restaurant in Argentina called Big Nigga Burger. Big Nigga Burger.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Is the name of this restaurant. The controversy centers on a burger restaurant in Louisville. Louisville Lovio, a suburb of Buenos Aires that operates under the name Big Nigga Bergen. That's N I G G A. The restaurant go has gone viral and internationally because it uses one of the most offensive racial slurs in English as its brand name, along with a black burger. Along with black burger buns, Hip hop aesthetics and menu items incorporating the same word. So many people, particularly in the US and other English speaking countries, view the restaurant brand as using a highly offensive racial slur for marketing, commercializing black culture while using stereotypes, attempting to generate attention through shock value rather than cultural appreciation.

[Tam Bam]

Right, Appro.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, appreciation. The restaurant's social media videos spread rapidly across TikTok X and Instagram, leading to widespread criticism and disbelief that a business can openly use that name. I don't know how true this is and it maybe just be a meme. Somebody said one is being open in Atlanta. Big Nigga Burger Atlanta. Big Nigga Burger. Atl. I'm gonna burn that place down.

[Tam Bam]

If niggas open it, I'll see what the burger's hitting for.

[AJ Holiday]

So it says some are. You see the picture? I should burn the up.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all could, man. Jesus Christ. Some Argentines have argued that the owners may not fully understand the historical weight of the slur. The historical weight the slur carries. In United States, American hip hop has made the word familiar. Has made the word familiar familiar. Jesus Christ. Internationally, even where its history isn't always understood, Argentina uses the Spanish word negro. And this is what I thought. Why didn't they call it Big Negro Burger? That means black. Why did they use big nigger N I g G a burger. They know exactly what the fuck they doing. Argentina uses the Spanish word negro in many contexts that don't directly translate to American racial dynamics. We know Negro. Negro. It's Negro. We understand that as a space. We always being gaslit by everybody. I mean, it's just a weird.

[Tam Bam]

Why are people so obsessed with us? Goodness?

[AJ Holiday]

Because we the gods, man. We are the gods. Always got a Voltron up against us.

[Tam Bam]

Where's the big cracker burger, right?

[AJ Holiday]

A white ass. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Saltine burger bunch on it.

[AJ Holiday]

A big ruskin Pollo Burger.

[Veronica Roth]

I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Cracker is always us. Goodness, leave us alone.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I don't even want to say the other words, but. Yeah, because we, I mean, cracker is pretty, you know, predominant and used. Predominantly used in the U.S. but everybody. Chink, spic, all these other words. Why are we always under attack like that?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

It's the weirdest thing. And y' all know like the, the, the indigenous people from all these places are black. Okay. They have whitewashed South America. So imagine these damn colonizers playing, playing in our face.

[Tam Bam]

That sandwich look good though. Y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

I'm hungry.

[AJ Holiday]

Nothing called no Big Burger. All I think about is that Big who be dancing in the restaurants. Yeah, well, he ain't even dancing that often no more after he tried to kill that man.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I haven't had, I didn't have breakfast and it's after lunch and I would like a big Digger burger right now.

[AJ Holiday]

Yo, big ass bunch of. Chad, I wanted to talk about happiness. Is there a happiness gap right now? Like is there a happiness? Is there a gap between, you know, accumulating all this stuff and how we actually feel?

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

Are you.

[Tam Bam]

Let's get into it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. All right, we'll be right back.

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

And honestly, that hundred dollars back, I'm putting it towards the zipline now.

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[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Best switch I ever made.

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[Podcast Guest/Caller]

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[Kal Penn]

Hey, everyone, it's Kal Penn, host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Divergent author Veronica Roth to talk about her sprawling new novel, Seek the Traitor's Son. It's a sci fi fantasy epic about two protagonists on opposite side sides of a war and a prophecy neither of them wanted.

[Veronica Roth]

My first book was Divergent, and when that came out, like, because it was so popular, I think it attracted, like, mostly positivity, but the negativity I sucked in like a sponge. And I think it was, like, critiques of things I liked. When I was like, you know, I was 23 and I wrote this book and it had all my, like, dorky little cheesy or maybe unrealistic loves in it. And I started to feel a lot of shame about those things. And so for the rest of my career, I steered away from those little things that, like, make you feel pleasure when you read. But I also was, like, saying no to these parts of myself that I then was like, screw it.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, so that's this book.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all. And we are back. And I want to ask a question. Why do we have more stuff, more things than ever? We got more access to things. We have more products and services for convenience, all this stuff. But I feel like most people still feel, like, less fulfilled. I mentioned one time on. On a show. It was a post. These two dudes was talking on a podcast and was like, what. What would you do during a. Do it. What would you do if the world started coming to an end, like, during a zombie apocalypse or some shit like that? And he was like, man, I'm gonna just lay down. I don't feel like it. And everybody in the comments was, like, ready to die. Like, they were ready to just give up. This seemed like they only needed one reason to give up. I am such a fucking warrior bitch. I'm gonna survive this shit. And. And I'm live to tell the next people about it. Since y' all ready to go so bad, it's like, you might as well go today. Why you gonna wait for some bad shit to happen, go today?

[Tam Bam]

Cause what. I'm not trying to ever go. Yeah, I like it. I'm gonna live forever, so I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, it's just. It's just the weirdest thing to me. So with all the. All the things that we have, all the. I mean, our. Our lives right now, like, though it is harder in some ways, it is not as hard as our parents had it. It's just not like our parents didn't have time to think for real. A lot of them. A lot of. And we talk about the 50s and,

[Tam Bam]

like, buying a house. When our parents bought a house was just a lot easier.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you could have, like.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you could have a house. You could have the quintessential American dream. Now most people are renting. Like, I was watching this band, and he was. Son. His son really talks really bad to him. And he. Like, he's only five, but he says what he thinks. And he was like, he told his daddy to build him. Bill him something in his bedroom or he would beat him, right? And he said, I'm renting. I can't bill you anything in this house. This ain't even my shit. And that's like, most of us. It's just not.

[AJ Holiday]

I think most of us can afford a house, right? Because most of us can afford rent. We have other things that are against us that our parents didn't have. Like, yeah, they did have discrimination, obviously, right? There Was redlining, all that shit. But you could get a house in the, in, in most areas, most places. Right. Because my mom, the house my mom lives in, it used to be more black families around there, but it was mixed. It was a black and white neighborhood. Right. And they bought their house in the 80s, which I guess maybe in the 50s it was a little bit harder.

[Tam Bam]

But I feel like 80s, it was probably the best, easiest time. But I might be ignorant, I don't know, but I just feel like n was putting $5 down on the house.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but now we have all these. They just don't want us owning anything. That's all this is about. This is about us having $20, a car, a job, a place to stay and that's it.

[Tam Bam]

They don't want us and always owing money. They want us consistently working and owing.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, it's debt culture.

[Tam Bam]

So I fucking hate, I love my iPhone, but I also hate iPhone because it's like I'm always gonna owe you money. I'm all, God, I have to pay for music every month. I have to upgrade my phone. My phone.

[AJ Holiday]

That's another episode I wanted to have actually. About when the fuck did the subscription culture come along.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it's like I have to pay every month for this fucking phone, only to need when I'm done, by the time I'm finished painting it off, that it's another one come out. And I have to, I have to because this one will soon stop working.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, I got a 12 Pro Max, but don't. And I just got this as a replacement.

[Tam Bam]

Huh. It'll glitch, It'll start like working slower and then eventually the software will no longer work.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I can't even, I can't even download the most recent software. But that's when I buy a new phone. When this phone completely dies. I don't give a damn about a phone in that way. Like I don't have to have the newest of anything. Even the cars they coming out with now. You got to have a subscription to play your fucking radio. And, and you gotta buy the four tires. You can't just buy one tire. It's all type of weird ass shit. But I think we cause the cell phone stuff, right? Because people used to complain about having a contract, but you didn't have to pay for the phone when you had a contract. And you'd have a contract anyway. I mean, you would have the phone anyway. So why complain about the two year contract? I never understood. But now you still got the two year contract and now you're paying $1,000 plus for a cell phone, right? So we be finessing ourselves a lot of times and don't realize it because now you finance in a phone that's added onto the cell phone bill every month. That's true.

[Tam Bam]

Or what about paying a bill to pay a bill? Like, why I got to give you $5 to pay my bill? That shit pissed me off so bad,

[AJ Holiday]

I was paying Dasha's vet bill, or I was paying for the stool sample. So to use my debit card, they want to charge me 3%. And I said, but do y' all not realize this is. Yes, it is a convenience for us, but it also offers y' all the opportunity to get more transactions, more than y' all would usually get if somebody had to go get cash. So y' all should. Why are y' all passing these fees

[Tam Bam]

on to the consumer?

[AJ Holiday]

The consumer, girl, it's just such a scam, girl. Being in Vegas this past weekend really was pissing me off. I got all type of charges on my debit card. I'm have to, like, go sort out and see, like, what are.

[Tam Bam]

What are.

[AJ Holiday]

What is charge you? What the. Like, the hotel charged me 300. Something like what I paid for this in advance.

[Nissan Ad Voice]

What the.

[AJ Holiday]

Is happening?

[Tam Bam]

Well, yeah. Why do I still owe you 300 after I've already paid for this?

[AJ Holiday]

The bottle water was $20, girl.

[Tam Bam]

A bottle of water.

[AJ Holiday]

And I. And they didn't have no sign saying that they were charging for it. I thought it was complimentary. Cause usually hotel shit is complimentary. $20. I drunk both two of them.

[Tam Bam]

$40 worth of bottled water and a lot of. And the coffee.

[AJ Holiday]

$16 for the coffee that comes in the room.

[Tam Bam]

Yikes.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, this is the center of my stress.

[Tam Bam]

We should have collectively overthrown the government by this time. Not just black, not just white, everybody.

[AJ Holiday]

I think that's what we had in. And that's the Civil War, right? Because I think this is the first time in history. Because if you didn't realize with the last election that there are no sides, it is one fucking. It's one thing. There's no Democrat. There's no Republican. So if you are still one of those people that's thinking like this is separate and is fucking not right. But I do think, like, this time, right now is the first time everybody is trying to, like, yes, everybody.

[Tam Bam]

Fed up. Everybody.

[AJ Holiday]

We tired of y' all fucking with kids, okay? We tired of, like, the heavy ass inflation to breathe, the gas prices. Like, we all fucking tired.

[Tam Bam]

Everybody tired. Everybody's fucking tired. Black, white, green and everything under the umbrella. We tired of kids getting shot in school. We tired of the fucking prices of everything. Can't have a house. I'm tired of these motherfucking concert tickets. I don't know if I'm seeing Chris Brown and Raymond and Brown

[AJ Holiday]

concerts like that anyway. Like, usually a lesser can go, yeah, I didn't have to pay for them. That's what I mean. And the big arena concerts, like, I kind of felt a little bit of FOMO about Jay Z concert. Just because I saw a post that said you broke if you ain't been

[Tam Bam]

there,

[AJ Holiday]

like, if you miss this, like you ain't in life for real. That's how they was saying it. But I don't really like the big arena because I believe in energy harvesting. You know what I'm saying? Like, people be feeling wary after they leave these shows and like that. Tired, like, yeah, you don't know what happened during the show. All type of little weird. You got all of these people. If y' all don't think black magic exists. I don't. I don't know. I don't know what to tell y' all because black people in particular in America have been under a spell for a long time.

[Tam Bam]

There's only one time I really, like, really subscribed to that and that was at Drake and 21 Savage concert.

[AJ Holiday]

Yep.

[Tam Bam]

And I was like, I don't know about this. I don't think my God is happy with what I mean. I felt my body, my soul and my spirit felt bad.

[AJ Holiday]

What's the dude from off white, the designer?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, Virgil. Amala.

[AJ Holiday]

Virgil. Yes. They had the big ass statue of Virgil. What is that? They have now deified him. Right. They killed him. That man did not die, like of natural causes. Right. So they sacrificed him and now they like have him up. The same thing they do with Martin Luther King. Like it's the same thing.

[Tam Bam]

They had a big ass grim reaper flying with a. With like a bloody knife. And he was flying across the room.

[AJ Holiday]

Drake had blood on him. On his outfit.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he had on like a butcher outfit. I was like, this is kind of dark. I just wanted to. Oh, God. What was his God's plan? God's plan, Me. That's what I came for.

[AJ Holiday]

But that might be God's plan. You just have to question who these people's gods is. Everybody is not serving the same God.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And that's what people need.

[Tam Bam]

Maybe I was in a bar and then consumed spirit, you know, so gin. Right? So here's that. So. Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

So we, we're living in a time now where it's more convenience, more entertainment, more technology, more opportunities than any other generation before. But yet we have the most anxiety. Loneliness.

[Tam Bam]

Like depression.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Suicide.

[AJ Holiday]

Dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction with life in general. I just, I want to know why. Like, why is that. Why is that even happening? I guess we kind of touched on some of the things. Right. It's just that we are doing a lot to get a little bit and so that we don't have a middle ground. There's no balance.

[Tam Bam]

For real.

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

There is none. And the rich people are richer and the poorer getting poorer. Seem like. Like there is no middle class anymore either you one or the other.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So like the millionaires are now our middle class and everybody else is just. We are below poverty level.

[Tam Bam]

For real.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? You can afford to do the. I won't. I'm saying that collectively. Right. Because if you manage your money properly, you won't. It won't be all like, you know, good today, but that you have to build wealth. You do have white people, some people who were born into it, but new millionaires, you have to build wealth. It's not going to happen overnight unless you win the lottery. And then I think that a lot of times people who gets super desperate, those are the ones who are playing lottery all the damn time. I don't know. Was this, was this you? Or maybe it's something I saw on social media. But they said the one thing people who when. When cars are be repossessed, the one thing that they noticed about all these repossessed cars is that they be full of fucking lottery tickets. So these people be down on their last. And they spend their last dollar on lottery tickets hoping to hit a list just come up. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Anita Max win.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And it's just not so millennials in particular. We definitely was sold a formula, right. You graduate, get you a job, buy a house, get married, work hard, retire and be happy. At this rate we probably. We are dying earlier than our parents generation.

[Tam Bam]

For real. Yeah. Heart attack.

[AJ Holiday]

But also who wants to wait until they 60, 70 to retire and then just die a couple years later. You've now worked your entire life. That is not my.

[Tam Bam]

That's why I just don't be giving a fuck no more. Like all these things like that I was chasing and like all this like I still want those things but they just don't define me in a way that they used to. It did not like my idea of happiness. Is no longer centered around the things that I have. Like it was when I was younger and it just like it felt like that's what social media have you. Yeah, like that's what it looked like. That if I don't have these things, I ain't gonna be happy. If I don't have a bunch of designer bags and shoes and you know, I go to Target and get a bag, I don't even give a fuck no more. They have cute shit in there too. I'm gonna be a bad bitch with whatever I got on.

[AJ Holiday]

Like the outfit I had on Saturday, I got it from Fashion Nova but it had just dropped on the website. So. And it's trash. I put it in the trash now today because it's a one time wear. I keep going there and put a. Put a review for real. It's a one time wear because even if you spot clean it, the black is fucking draining into the white. It's straight bullshit.

[Tam Bam]

But it was for what it was

[AJ Holiday]

for exactly one time wear. But I've never gave a fuck about like the material things. Like I make the thing look, look good. I never cared about like tags, labels, none of that shit. Like for like.

[Tam Bam]

Don't get me wrong, I've been looking

[AJ Holiday]

for some good black. Black. I've been looking for some like some good black brand purses and stuff like that.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. I don't know a lot of them but I'm sure there are plenty out y' all DM us if you got a black brand bag, a black brand clothing. So we got some of y' all shit. But if you got aloe prices for your leggings, don't send that shit to me, right.

[AJ Holiday]

Cause I shop by material. Cause I will go right on Amazon and find that same material that aloe is selling that skims is selling.

[Tam Bam]

Baby, if you don't get this is Hanes. This ain't shit but Hanes. Why is it that high?

[AJ Holiday]

This ain't shit but Alibaba.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, actually aloe with three letters on it. And now it's $145 for a carrot mane. Go to hell.

[AJ Holiday]

Where did aloe even come from?

[Tam Bam]

The depths of hell as far as I'm concerned.

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

And honestly that hundred dollars back I'm putting it towards the zipline now.

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[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Best switch I ever made.

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[Podcast Guest/Caller]

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[Kal Penn]

Hey everyone, it's Kal Penn, the host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week I'm sitting down with author Matt Dinnaman and narrator Jeff Hayes to talk about dungeon crawler Carl. Matt had one line in a notebook from middle school Alien game show. It took him until 2019 to finally write it, but what came out was an out of this world audiobook phenomenon. We talked about that origin talking cat with a charisma stat that breaks the game and what it takes to voice an entire world.

[AJ Holiday]

Fiction is bull, so you gotta trick me into caring about what you're talking about. And that's always what I have thought of as my job. So as a narrator, I always want to keep you engaged by making you feel as if I care as a narrator. And when I do dialogue, I don't want to tell you what the characters are saying I want you to hear firsthand.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Tam Bam]

All right, this guy that I used to talk to, and he's like, you know, I really been wanting to, like, take you on a date, but I have to be honest with you, right now, my money is so tight, and I'm trying to rebrand, I'm trying to restructure, and I. I want to see you, but I just don't want to come. I want to come correct. But y', all, I appreciate, because don't come over here with broke. I want to hang out. So I was like, look, we can go get. And I. I said this, y'. All. So this is how I know I'm changing. I was like, we can go get a rotisserie chicken, some Hawaiian rolls, and a cheap bottle of champagne, and let's put a blanket down in the park when the sun goes down. He was like, you would do that with me? I'm like, yeah, let's go. He was like, 20, 26. Women don't want that.

[AJ Holiday]

That is not true.

[Tam Bam]

That's what he said, man.

[AJ Holiday]

If a woman likes you, you really can come with nothing. And that'd be the worst part. Cause I feel like any man that will show up to a woman with nothing, he doesn't really like her. Men are not gonna show up incomplete to the woman he really, really likes.

[Tam Bam]

Well, that's why I feel like he's, like, trying to express that he want to be able to take me to, like, some five star dining and do all the things. And right now his money can't afford that, nigga. Let's go get a chicken from Whole Foods.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And we can pull pieces out the bag

[AJ Holiday]

and lick our finger.

[Tam Bam]

Like, what? Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I think women. I told you, my first date one time was to Whole Foods. You know, granted, I did get some

[Tam Bam]

groceries, but that was expensive, bitch.

[AJ Holiday]

Full paycheck, right? But, you know, I think that. I don't know. I think men have a misconception of a lot of women, because, again, of social media. You do have people on social media who be like, send me $30, $50 for lunch, girl.

[Sephora Ad Voice]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Add whatever. How much you about to eat in lunch? First, what are you eating? Exactly? It's lunch. Now, if you Uber eating and all that, it might go up with fees and shit to $75. But add it to it, like, he just saved you. You either gonna fucking save me money or, you know, you gonna meet me halfway somehow. It's just not gonna never be nothing. I'm. I'm for a man, saving me money. Absolutely. So I got. I got the other part. If you can give me this percentage. Thank you. I'm always appreciative, man. And I don't know, maybe those are. That's. Those are just like niche social medias where people have. Are now building a brand off of, you know, being fucking snobs, essentially. And a lot of those women still don't know how to translate popping that pussy into getting money anyway. They just on the Internet, acting like they get stuff out of men. Y' all don't even know the art of getting money out of men.

[Tam Bam]

For real.

[AJ Holiday]

You're just talking about it, right? He's talking about it. Cause it ain't about how much money he make and how much money he have. It's about how much he willing to give you. Is it a generous man?

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all be fucking with rappers, and they give you nothing.

[Tam Bam]

Nothing.

[AJ Holiday]

Fuck with NBA players, they give you nothing but a wet ass.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. My grandma always said, a dry person, a wet ass don't match.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. So happiness versus peace be peaceful most days. Now, the things that I think about in the back of my head all the time is like, bitch, I need to lose £30 by tomorrow. That's one thing that nags me in the back of my neck. I do owe fucking taxes. I do owe student loans. I want to buy a Mercedes tomorrow. You know, it is usually associated with, like, some type of debt.

[Tam Bam]

Right, Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Kind of nags at you a little bit. But when I get it, when I tell y', All I' ma drop a bunch of nickels on these.

[Tam Bam]

I don't even let debt stress me no more. Them. Them bills. I don't even. I don't. I don't care.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, me neither. Because I'll pay you the bare minimum until I die.

[Tam Bam]

And that's why I feel like people be telling me I don't look my age and people who actually get to know it. The truth. And I think it's because I really don't be giving a. About none of this shit no more. I don't care. I don't let it stress me. I don't.

[AJ Holiday]

That's why I said it. Be in the back there. You know, when I think about it, when I. When I get a piece of mail or when I get a email, ask about some shit, like, that's when I think about it. Like, otherwise, no, I don't give a fuck if you have high interest rate credit cards. Just stop paying them shit right now because credit ain't even real. And I can help you fix your credit.

[Tam Bam]

Well, fix your credit card. My shit was real good. And it ain't the same no more. Ever since you did. I stopped giving a fuck. I really did. Like, so it needs some help. It's not awful, but it ain't like how it was for sure. But I really. I just don't be caring no more.

[AJ Holiday]

See, those are like the student loan debt, medical stuff, I don't really have. Like, I have one credit card that I'm still trying to pay off, but for the most part, like, I don't. It's the student loan shit that's like over my head for real. But I really don't plan on ever paying y' all back all that money. I'm gonna pay the bare minimum forever. Fuck you. Honestly. Because that money didn't exist in the in in the first place. Show me where you deducted a hundred thousand dollars from your total balance. It never happened. Y' all pull a hundred thousand dollars out of thin air and now you want me to pay it back? No. America's built off of debt. Why would I pay it back? America in debt.

[Tam Bam]

Right? That's what I'm saying. America got more debt than me. Credit score bitch.

[T-Mobile Ad Voice]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

I won't get my shit.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Yeah. As far as Benedict concerned, I really need to send y' all an email about why I shouldn't have to pay y' all shit.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, we could start a class acting lawsuit against them because those. Those loans off of the bank that President Swint Owned were very predatorial towards 18 year old young adults who didn't know what the fuck they were signing up for. Okay? And the way we were treated, even going through the process, like, bitch, do you realize if you don't get my financial aid straight, you're not getting a paycheck? Like they would treat us just like cattle and like little kids.

[Tam Bam]

I feel like we're business, but I just don't want. I don't want to take my HBCU down. That's the only thing that's keeping me

[AJ Holiday]

from they trying to take us down. That open door policy took a lot of people down. Know damn well they ain't supposed to be there.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, there's a lot of people that should have never made it to college. Do you remember Briggs?

[AJ Holiday]

He was retarded off of, off of Bow Street. A grown ass man staying in the dorms with kids. He had just got out of Bow

[Tam Bam]

street, the Brazen House.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, he was fun though. But this was a grown ass man on camp. He was like 40 something years old. We was fucking 18, 19 years old.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know who that is. Have you ever heard of that person?

[AJ Holiday]

Shanaria, if you listen to. You remember Briggs, all of them know exactly who I'm talking about. Yeah, but I don't know, man. It's just. I think on my, on a day to day basis, I'm happier, I'm. I'm more at peace. And I. Peace for me comes from just like being. I like being quiet. I know as we talk back, I'm a Gemini, I do talk a lot, but I do enjoy shutting the fuck up. Nowadays I literally be in here, no TV on, no radio on, sometimes, usually with music on, but sometimes I mean complete silence. That is peaceful to me and not thinking about shit.

[Tam Bam]

I think what's brought me so much peace as I've gotten older is I stopped comparing. Comparison was my greatest thief of joy. And I mean, I can remember like being jealous, you know, feeling not. I've never felt like looked at anybody and said, why them and not me? It was never that, but it was always like, when is it my turn? Why don't I have these things? Where are my kids? Where are my husband? Where's my mansion? You know, And I would like be in these spaces and I see it for someone else and I would feel jealous. I can admit that. You know, I can admit that that was the feeling that I can't control. I felt it and I remember like crying about it, like driving from my friend mansion, crying like, really? Yes. Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. When I see people doing things like the lavish vacations, all this shit, it's just always. Especially people that I'm in close proximity to, it is just always confirmation for me that I, too, can have that thing. And I know why I don't. Those people have more discipline than me. They take action.

[Tam Bam]

I don't even. I don't even think it was that. Cause some of it was just handed to some people, you know, like, it was. Some of it's just favor, you know, Like, I don't know. Or some of it just handed.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, even if they had to suck a lot of dick, they. They went through a lot of dick sucking to get to that, man. But I don't think it got nothing to do with favor. A lot of times it is. It is positioning right.

[Tam Bam]

It is.

[AJ Holiday]

And. Cause I. I don't think those people are. Have more favor than you. You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. But now, you know, there was a. There was a time in like, my early 30s when I felt like that. But now, you know. Cause I can look at, you know, everybody's journey is their journey. Like, you know, and they go even, right? And there are highs and lows that comes with everybody's life, even if they have all the things and they don't. And I think, you know, I had to witness highs and lows for everybody, including myself, to understand that comparison was just not the right thing to do. Because there's never gonna be nobody's story like my own. Whether it comes with imagine or not, it's still my story. And I need to be grateful for all the things in it.

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely. And you gotta be grateful and show gratitude for every step of the way. You're not going to get more if you're not grateful for what you currently have.

[Tam Bam]

Right? That part.

[AJ Holiday]

When I tell y', all, when I tell y, I thank God a hundred times a day for the time my feet hit the floor. My boyfriend, now, he knows anytime I sigh like that, thank you, God is coming next. It's just. It's just almost because I know, like, the breath, that's the. The. That's. That's God. Your breath is God. So as long as you're doing that, you are doing good. That is how you find happiness.

[Tam Bam]

You.

[AJ Holiday]

Happiness and peace only comes via gratitude and being grateful for the things you have and just knowing the things that you want and you might not even need the things that you think you want. You get those things. It's like, ugh. And I got it now. Now what's it? There's not even nothing spectacular for you for real, once you actually get the thing right. But yeah, and then I've been seeing a lot of shit about like Jay Z online. Like people talking about him at the shows and like his little rap freestyle and all this stuff. And like this conversation, yes, conversation about target and capitalism and all these things. I'm trying to figure out what other type of system would y' all want to exist in? Because y' all should probably check some of the countries that have, you know, socialism. Okay. And what that actually looks like because the rich is still, always the rich. They just, they really giving you $20 and you know, that's all you're getting. In a capitalistic society, we, we all do have the opportunity to make some shit, right? We bought into the idea of Jay Z. That's why he is who he is today. You can't then get mad at him for reaching this certain level of success. It's fucking weird to me. It's crab in a bucket mentality to me because I see Jay's, I don't need a billion dollars, but I would like, you know, a good, like Charlamagne for example. Charlamagne got this big ass deal, you know, recently with Iheart and all that stuff. And that is an opportunity to put more people on. Because that's what he does with any, any deals and opportunities that he gets. He puts other people into position. Now if you're not doing that, and

[Tam Bam]

that's when you're a real boss, when you can elevate other people around you. If you're the only one getting money, you're not a boss for real.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. And everybody's not willing to do the hard work. We just gotta be honest. All y' all niggas is not ready willing to do the hard work to get what you, what you really think

[Tam Bam]

you want or think you deserve.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Because you're comfortable. I just, I literally was just thinking the other night, like, what the fuck am I doing in this apartment in Charleston? I really thought that. But I love, I love my city. But you know our 20 year plan is over, right? We are at the 20 year plan mark, like the end of it. And what have you done is what, you know, the things when I'm evaluating, like my goals and where, where I want to be in the next five to ten years or whatever. But if you haven't actually done the work, why do you expect a different outcome?

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

It's not gonna fall out the sky, you know, you gotta do the work.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, I think that comes when it comes to finances. But some of the stuff like that's part of your, like what you plan for. You can, you have no control over it. Like if you plan to be a mother, some shit like that you just can't control. Well, you got, you can't be fucking with a condom if you trying to be a mom, you know, shit like that or your body, you know, rejecting motherhood, like it's just some shit you can't control. But I mean when it comes to like where you at financially, sometimes you can't even control that shit. You could have done everything that you said you were gonna do in your 20 year plan and then get laid off.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. You know, and I've been there, I've been there. I've lost my, my early 20s within, I'll say two years. Excuse me. My early 30s within a couple years. It started at 33. And that's the end. That's the age Jesus Christ was sacrificed at age 33. When I tell y', all, my life is in fucking turmoil. I almost went to prison. I lost my fucking job, I lost my car. I was in a fucking stupid ass relationship. Like shit can. It's just the ebbs and flow and it just, that was the season I was in.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, and now I'm working really hard to never, to never have to experience that season again. Because there are things that I could have done differently that would have prepared me better for that season. Because you gonna go through it, but it just, you know, preparedness. What you gonna do now just in case that happens again? Are you going to spend every penny you got or are you going to invest more when you get that paycheck?

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Or you going to buy off Amazon? Every paycheck. Because bitch, my Amazon should be stupid.

[Tam Bam]

Mine too. I'm so sick of

[AJ Holiday]

we so sick of all the shit we keep doing.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. But yeah, so I just wanted to. We, I guess we basically touched on all the things and I don't know, I know you can't buy happiness, right?

[Tam Bam]

Well, I mean, kinda. Yeah, kinda.

[AJ Holiday]

I was just about to say because most of. So my homegirl is a therapist, right? And anytime she's like, you know, she can't obviously can't hipaa. She can't tell me like her about her patients for real. But sometimes she'll like tell like a story or whatever and I'm like, you know what I'm Hearing is most of these people need to fucking lose weight and figure out how to get more money. That is mostly the reason why you depressed, bitch. You broke and fat.

[Tam Bam]

I know.

[AJ Holiday]

I've been there. So you gotta focus on one. I feel like for mo. For people who have, like, Batman battling, like, weight loss and they wait their entire life, I'm gonna tell you, man, I really feel like that shit is directly tied to your success. Your mind is different when you get disciplined in your diet. Once you conquer your fucking diet, you could do anything you want to.

[Tam Bam]

You sound like one of my homeboys. He is in, like, this nigga look like an action figure. Like, he is.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you're gonna feel good doing it, too.

[Tam Bam]

And that's what he always says. Like, your success is directly correlated to your health and how you treat your body.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, yes.

[Tam Bam]

He's obsessed, though. It's like his muscles got muscles. I'm like, you won. God damn.

[AJ Holiday]

So why was this nigga hiding the fact that he been back in the gym? Cause, you know, I was urging my boyfriend to, like, go back and start back working out because I felt like him, like, coming to Charleston was the reason why he wasn't working out as much. So he was, like, shrinking. Like, this nigga was big as hell when we first started dating. So I thought he had, like, cut his hair or something like that because he said he had a surprise for me. But no, that nigga was back in the gym. So for real, Bodyguard, he was looking good.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. I love that.

[AJ Holiday]

We playing a game or no? Are we getting out of here? You say let's go.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, okay.

[AJ Holiday]

All right. Anyway, I don't know. You got a. A last, last for the people.

[Tam Bam]

I guess my last last would be that happiness is a choice. So choose it every day. Find a way to choose it on purpose. That's what I tell people. I tell people, have a good day on purpose because you gotta be intentional about your. Your joy and your happiness. That's my last. Last

[AJ Holiday]

see a therapist right now. Therapists are not gonna solve your problems. They will try to give you the tools so you can solve your own problems if you are. I think happiness is fleeting. Right. There's a lot of bad shit that's going to happen in life, and then you have spurts of happiness. And the goal. The goal is, is to have just more happiness than stupid shit. Right?

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

And like Tammy said, being happy is literally a state of mind. Being in love is a state of mind. So you got to do things every day. That's going to help you maintain the happiness. So losing the ten pounds. Women, we carry all of our stress in our abdomen, right?

[Tam Bam]

The visceral.

[AJ Holiday]

Visceral fat. And that's what it's called. And all that visceral fat around your organs. So there are things we can do every day to maintain our happiness. You just got to do them.

[Tam Bam]

Discipline that part.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, that's my last, last did I did. Was that it? Last, last.

[Tam Bam]

That was one.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all. I'll be talking to myself. That was the last, last I be talking about. Really be saying these things for me.

[Tam Bam]

For real.

[AJ Holiday]

Anyway, y', all, if you enjoyed this episode, this happy episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app. Wherever the fuck you get your podcast at this show, co host AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick a tam,

[Tam Bam]

y'.

[50 Cent]

All.

[Tam Bam]

It's official Tam bam on Instagram, y'.

[Sephora Ad Voice]

All.

[Tam Bam]

Follow me there. Follow We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. Send us your dumbest stories. We want those all the time. I love y' all so much. If y' all didn't hear from nobody else, you heard it from me.

[AJ Holiday]

Remember, speak now and never hold your peace or happiness.

[Tam Bam]

Period.

[AJ Holiday]

Deuces ain't fuck them bills them

[Podcast Guest/Caller]

We

[AJ Holiday]

Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Sephora Ad Voice]

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Only in theaters August 7th. Get tickets? Meow.

[AJ Holiday]

All episodes of Desperate Housewives are now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. Every show you love about scandalous women with secrets, Desperate Housewives is the blueprint. Before suburban drama became an obsession, there was Wisteria Lane, the original, the iconic,

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[AJ Holiday]

Stream every episode of Desperate Housewives on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. This is an iHeart podcast.

[Tam Bam]

Guaranteed Human.