The Main-Side

Summary

We Talk Back Episode Title: The Main-Side
Release Date: February 27, 2025
Hosts: Tam Bam & AJ Holiday
Produced By: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Summary: The Main-Side

In this compelling episode of We Talk Back, hosts Tam Bam and AJ Holiday delve deep into the intricate dynamics of modern relationships, specifically focusing on the age-old debate: Main Chick vs. Side Chick. With their signature blend of humor, candidness, and insightful commentary, Tam Bam and AJ navigate the complexities of fidelity, emotional investment, and societal perceptions surrounding these roles.

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Personal Updates and Anecdotes

The episode kicks off with Tam Bam and AJ sharing personal updates, setting a relatable tone for listeners. AJ Holiday mentions an upcoming trip to Miami, hinting at exciting stories to come:

AJ Holiday [03:43]: "I'm going to Miami this weekend, so I'll have maybe some things to tell you guys from Miami."

Tam Bam recounts her weekend experience attending the Hot Boys Tour, emphasizing the toll nightlife can take:

Tam Bam [05:21]: "If this show is coming to your city, please go see it. I had so much fun. I was going from sweet to sweet, drinking up liquor."

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Exploring the "Medium Ugly" Concept

A notable segment of the episode revolves around the concept of being "medium ugly," a term Tam Bam and AJ Holiday use to describe a certain charming ruggedness in men. This leads to a broader discussion about celebrity relationships and public perceptions.

Aj Holiday [08:22]: "Hood fine is also a thing. I think hood fine is also a thing."

The hosts analyze various public figures, debating whether their appearances fit the "medium ugly" or "hood fine" categories, illustrating how societal standards of beauty and charisma interplay in real-life scenarios.

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Main Chick vs. Side Chick: Who's Winning?

The heart of the episode centers on comparing the roles of the main chick (the primary, committed partner) and the side chick (the secondary, often less committed partner). Tam Bam and AJ Holiday dissect the emotional and practical implications of each role, offering listeners a nuanced perspective.

Defining the Roles:

• Main Chick:
  Represents the primary relationship, encompassing societal recognition, emotional investment, and family responsibilities.

  Tam Bam [30:07]: "She gives the kids. She's with the family. She nurtures, like, she feeds the family."

• Side Chick:
  Often viewed as an outlet for the man's extraneous desires without the burdens of commitment.

  AJ Holiday [33:44]: "The man is getting the best of everything. He gets to go have his fun and have fornicate with this girl who is fun time."

Key Discussions:

1. Emotional Consequences:
   Both roles carry emotional risks. The main chick may face betrayal and the side chick may grapple with lack of commitment and recognition.

   Tam Bam [55:03]: "Nobody wins when the Family Feuds."

2. Societal Perceptions:
   Society often champions the main chick while stigmatizing the side chick, leading to imbalance in emotional support and validation.

   AJ Holiday [50:10]: "Is this a good time? ... This is what I heard from the grapevine."

3. Power Dynamics:
   The episode emphasizes that, ultimately, neither role offers true fulfillment or victory, highlighting the need for honesty and commitment in relationships.

   Tam Bam [55:41]: "So, you get me sitting up in the house with these kids all day and you out gallivanting with some bitch in a casino."

Notable Quotes:

• AJ Holiday [56:42]: "Yo, this says, may get cheated on but get social recognition."
• Tam Bam [66:48]: "He gets to go have his fun and have fornicate with this girl who is fun time. He don't have to worry about responsibilities with her."

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Real-Life Examples and Anecdotes

The hosts bolster their discussion with real-life examples and anecdotal stories, illustrating how the dynamics of main and side relationships play out in everyday life and media:

• Celebrity Relationships:
  They reference high-profile cases like Kevin Hart and Neo, dissecting the repercussions of infidelity and the public's reaction.

• Personal Experiences:
  AJ shares a heartfelt story about her own relationship struggles, highlighting the emotional toll of being in a side relationship:

  AJ Holiday [40:25]: "I might just be saying it. I might be heartbroken if I found out my man was doing that."

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Consequences and Ethical Considerations

Tam Bam and AJ Holiday critically examine the ethical dimensions of maintaining side relationships, urging for accountability and mutual respect:

AJ Holiday [49:56]: "You can't just be doing things to please your man because you will find yourself in the bottom of a pile up."

They argue that both parties in a relationship must uphold integrity and honesty to prevent the cascading fallout of infidelity.

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Conclusion: No True Winners

Wrapping up, the hosts reinforce the notion that engaging in side relationships ultimately harms all involved, including the individuals themselves. Tam Bam and AJ Holiday advocate for transparency and commitment as the foundational pillars of healthy relationships.

Tam Bam [55:41]: "Nobody wins when the Family Feuds... He gets to go have his fun and have fornicate with this girl who is fun time."

Final Thoughts and Takeaways

• Commitment Over Convenience:
  The episode champions committed relationships over fleeting side connections, emphasizing long-term emotional satisfaction over temporary gratification.

• Communication is Key:
  Open and honest communication can prevent misunderstandings and emotional harm in relationships.

• Self-Worth and Respect:
  Both main and side participants should prioritize self-respect and self-worth, avoiding roles that compromise their emotional well-being.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• AJ Holiday [07:14]: "We were talking about neo ass side mean new baby mamas all this."
• Tam Bam [12:20]: "He just posted a new picture. I'm like, damn, that fine."
• AJ Holiday [16:58]: "You know, men created marriage so they can all somebody."
• Tam Bam [21:40]: "We have what the pardons are. Exactly."
• AJ Holiday [33:23]: "But I just feel like when women cheat, like, we actually have side, like, because men play the side better than women."
• Tam Bam [43:34]: "She was wet for him."

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Closing Remarks

In this thought-provoking episode, Tam Bam and AJ Holiday skillfully navigate the turbulent waters of relationship dynamics, offering listeners both entertainment and enlightenment. Their candid conversation serves as a reminder that in matters of the heart, integrity and commitment triumph over fleeting temptations.

For more insightful discussions and unfiltered conversations, tune in every Thursday to We Talk Back on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you enjoy your favorite podcasts.

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Follow Tam Bam: @tam_bam
Follow AJ Holiday: @aj_holiday

Transcript

[Tam Bam]

Meetings, deadlines, emails, millions of notifications. Don't you wish you could just escape the chaos? Fortunately, that's where the all new Nissan Murano comes in. With available features like the relaxing, massaging seats to ease stress and the beautiful skyline views that bring in natural light. It's like cruising in your personal Oasis. And if you need to set a vibe, 64 colors of personalized lighting and a Bose premium sound system have you covered. Hands down, the all new Nissan Murano is your stress free getaway. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.

[AJ Holiday]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional features.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Geico's motorcycle expertise means I'm covered by people who know bikes like I do.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm happy as a clam.

[Joe Locke]

No conclusive scientific research has shown clams can experience happiness.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

It just meant that I feel really good about my coverage.

[Joe Locke]

I mean, even if you took the clam out for the best day ever, visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're insured by specialists, and sharing a strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy and your strawberry cone would taste sort of clammy.

[AJ Holiday]

Ew.

[Joe Locke]

Geico's motorcycle specialists who know bikes like you do, assume no liability for clammy ice cream cones. Geico expertise for your motorcycle.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series. Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes and but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[AJ Holiday]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless D version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Me. I'm the old one, I'm the young one. And every week we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? Lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for Adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it.

[AJ Holiday]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless with me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back, where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee cocktail and crown. Cause it's about to go down.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talk back.

[AJ Holiday]

Big, nasty throat. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, AJ Holiday.

[Tam Bam]

Y'all is terrible. I love y'all. The season changing. My kind of, you know, it's dry and wet. Oh, I love y'all. I Love you too, A.J. how you doing?

[AJ Holiday]

And I love you back.

[Tam Bam]

How was your weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

I'm. Well, my weekend was. I. I did go outside this weekend. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Because y'all want to tell dinners and stuff. I do eat.

[Tam Bam]

She loves to be like, I ain't do nothing. Oh, wait, I did do something.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because it's not, like, super eventful. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to Miami this weekend, so I'll have. Maybe for next week, I'll have some things to tell you guys from Miami. One of my friends from. Well, she's a friend of a friend. Like my first homegirl I met when I moved to St. Louis. This is her friend I met through her. She executive produced this movie called July 7th is about the assassination of the Haitian President in 21 or 22. I know the United States did that. But anyway. Yeah, so it's. It's going to be a lot of Haitians out there. I presume it's a black tie event.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

And. And my dress doesn't fit. Been trying to starve herself for a day. Just only got one day.

[Tam Bam]

Well, bring me back a Haitian girl.

[AJ Holiday]

You do not want one of them, man. First of all, his mama gonna do some Santeria on you. Something.

[Tam Bam]

I want one of them with a side of black rice. That black rice is good.

[AJ Holiday]

Black rice is good. I had black rice for the first time last year.

[Tam Bam]

Really?

[AJ Holiday]

I have used black rice to do my hair. You know, you do, like, the white rice wash. I bought black rice to do that because it has, like, a lot of antioxidants and like that. But that black rice is good.

[Tam Bam]

So good.

[AJ Holiday]

It's good.

[Tam Bam]

His mama made it for me one time many years ago, and I was like, I think I Could be Haitian. I could marry Haitian.

[AJ Holiday]

What you had going on, Chad?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, what did I do this weekend? Oh, I went to see the hot boys tour. Lil Wayne and the hot boys.

[AJ Holiday]

Back that ass up.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, my God, y'all, If this show is coming to your city, please go see it. I had so much fun. I was going from sweet to sweet, drinking up liquor.

[AJ Holiday]

Sounds about right.

[Tam Bam]

It was a good old negro time, y'all. But I paid for it the next day because I had to fly back to New York in the morning. And I'm just not built like I used to. Like, I used to be able to drink and then get up and function the next day.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, that been over for me. I really have to plan them type of nights because I already know I'm gonna be in the house down bad.

[Tam Bam]

The next day, the next day, all day. That's how you know liquor is poison.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your body literally be like, did stop.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. It feels so good while you're doing it, though. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you'll be feeling stupid while everybody else drunk and you just sitting there looking at them, being stupid and drunk, like, you gotta join them or else, like, you might hit somebody. Like, get your drunk ass away from me.

[Tam Bam]

I thought about going to have some drinks tonight, but I was like, nah.

[AJ Holiday]

You ain't never over it.

[Tam Bam]

Relax. You drank Sunday. You didn't drink Monday because you was hurting from Sunday. Then you drank on Tuesday. Relax. It's Wednesday. Just be sober. But it's like wine night at this spot. And everybody's going, and I kind of want to go, but I'm not gonna go.

[AJ Holiday]

Not the wine night. Wine makes me feel depressed, and I don't even be depressed. It just makes me feel extremely mellow. I don't like it. Oh, just down. You know what I'm saying? It's not.

[Tam Bam]

You need efforts, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Or like, a little mint. I might have to mix it right. With a little.

[Tam Bam]

Hello.

[AJ Holiday]

Wow. Got it. Let's get into stupid Internet news, man.

[Tam Bam]

All right. I love this one. Glorilla calls Duke Dennis medium ugly. So I. It was a video, and he was like. He heard the song and he heard his name, and he was like, wait, is she talking about me in that first part where she said she, like, media ugly? She wouldn't talk about me in that part, but she was.

[AJ Holiday]

She definitely was. So hold on. What's the lyrics? It says Glorilla raps that she likes her partners tall and grimy and mixed with a little bit of ugly before seconds later calling out the popular streamer with the line. Duke Dennis, what's up with you? I like my girls Duke Dennis fine. He's a nice looking boy. Is he not a nice looking man?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he's good looking. He's medium ugly. He's handsome.

[AJ Holiday]

Is he medium ugly, though? Is that what medium ugly is?

[Tam Bam]

When I think of medium ugly, I don't think of like ugly for real. I think like kind of rough, right? Just a little bit like not too manicured.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Like I think of. Who do I think of? Like, Idris Alba is like medium ugly.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, Idris Alba is not like. I can't even say he's not super aesthetically pleasing, because he is. But I think it's just all encompassing of all the things, the aura. Grab a word for your encumbrancing. Encumbrancing, y'all. Tell me what it is. Okay, I know what I'm trying to say anyway, but like the whole his aura, like energy, everything, you know what I'm saying? Makes them this fine ass. Medium ugly. And I think just medium ugly means man.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, to me too. Because I feel like Aaron Pierre is not medium ugly. He's just beautiful. He's just like pretty, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't even think he's cute at all. See, that's the thing. So in the same pretty either.

[Tam Bam]

No, he got those pretty eyes. He got all these beautiful, like all encompassing.

[AJ Holiday]

There you go.

[Tam Bam]

All day.

[AJ Holiday]

I like words, man.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, so. But Skepta is just fine as hell. He's not medium stepdad girl. The one of the fine.

[AJ Holiday]

Let me google him too.

[Tam Bam]

Right now. I am. Oh, I adore him.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so is he medium ugly or hood fine? Is hood fine a thing? I think hood fine. I think hood fine is also a thing.

[Tam Bam]

Hood fine.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, yeah. Like in Miami.

[Tam Bam]

And medium ugly and hood fine be kind of similar though, because it's just kind of like a little rough, you.

[AJ Holiday]

Know, a little rugged.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, they got a picture of them together. How about that?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Train.

[AJ Holiday]

This is a picture of Skepta and Aaron Peer together.

[Tam Bam]

And I can, I think if both.

[AJ Holiday]

Of these was in the club. I am definitely picking Skeptic. I think men behaved a little bit more when light skinned was in these dark skinned be thinking they bad bitches, man. Yeah, more than the light skinned did.

[Tam Bam]

Let me tell you, when that started, Wesley Snipes kicked that off. Wesley Snipes kicked the dark thinking they was bad. They've been downhill ever since then.

[AJ Holiday]

Here comes no Wesley Snipes.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, Wesley Snipes. Then came Morris Chestnut and it was over Tay Diggs ass.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, what's that movie? I just seen a clip of it with Wesley Snipes and Neil Long changing places, right? Not changing places. It was. Ah, God damn.

[Tam Bam]

Wesley Snipes and Nia Long.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Not. Not Neil Long. Excuse me. What's the girl never did a Not in your lung. Samaya Latham, disappearing acts.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. I saw a clip like from a part of that movie the other day and that was so triggering how he was gaslighting the out of her. Did you. Do you remember seeing that?

[Tam Bam]

I don't remember that movie that well. I have to see it again.

[AJ Holiday]

Let's watch that movie this week and come back and talk about it next.

[Tam Bam]

Okay, let's do it. Everybody watch. Disappearing. Actually gonna talk about it on the.

[AJ Holiday]

Show because you know, Terry McMillan had us in a chokehold as kids.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, she did. There's no reason that we should have been reading that type of literature.

[AJ Holiday]

And I think we probably have a better perspective of it or different perspective now as adults too. We'll have a different lens.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. Like even just watching like Waiting to exhale as a grown woman versus when I watched it as a child. It's just such a change. Yeah. Oh, and nothing has changed in 30 years. We're going through the same exact.

[AJ Holiday]

Ain't nothing changed. So y'all like fine hood fine or medium ugly? I think we all like medium ugly anyway.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I prefer it.

[AJ Holiday]

Speaking of medium ugly, what happened?

[Tam Bam]

I said I don't want no who think he better than me.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Be in the bathroom in a mirror longer than you.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Like doing it. I hate. Listen, as much as I love Drake, I hate how he do that little pouty lip thing with. Stop doing that.

[AJ Holiday]

You know Drake think he a bad all day long.

[Tam Bam]

He just posted a new picture. I'm like, damn, that fine. And I don't even. You know, Red Bones ain't really my type. But him and that Ty Le. Oh my God.

[AJ Holiday]

Now Ty Le is like. Ty Lepley has a different. His look is different though. Like he is fine and he has a grunge look at the same time. And he's not pretty though. He's just gorgeous. He's not pretty. You know, like, he's not a pretty light skinned. He might be light skinned, but still a dark. Drake is just light skinned.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, here we go. They could be brothers. All right.

[AJ Holiday]

Hell no. But speaking of medium ugly and what y'all think about Neo? Neil is technically medium ugly when he take the Hat off, right?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. And he's. And I feel like his personality might be a little medium ugly too because he just been having some bad stuff coming out about him. I mean I don't. Listen if you're in the party lifestyle and you can afford, you can have as many as you can afford as far as I'm concerned. As long as everybody is in the know. But I just hate that I just always associated Neo with a gentleman, you know, like the dumb. Right. Gotcha, gotcha. Those hat and stuff, those hats and suits and the year of the gentleman album and I thought he was a family man and it's just all. That's how you just never. You think you know a person, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So he, he actually speaks on telling his kids about his poly relationship. He continues to double down against any anyone criticizing Chris criticizing his embrace of polyamory. It says following his divorce in 2022 when his ex wife Crystal Renee accused Neo of infidelity, the 45 year old singer had been spotted out in public with multiple partners and spoken about his perspective on dating. So he has multiple girlfriends now. Everybody know each other. Everybody on vacation together. Everybody. Everybody looking like they be having a great time with him.

[Tam Bam]

They look pretty happy. But remember what was that rapper. He had like a couple girls in his harem. Rapper. He was like kind of fat. He had a big old butt.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh that out of Texas. What's the name? Two times Finesse.

[Tam Bam]

Two times. Yeah, finesse a couple times work out though. You saw how that ended sadly like that. Just like you know it's a hard. First of all getting three to get along with each other for over a year is just impressive.

[AJ Holiday]

Getting along them be. Those are the men that have high tolerance for like headaches and they just like that. Like they just are able to function in that type of toxicity. Yeah. So I am actually happy he's finally living in his truth. Quote unquote. I know y'all humans favorite shit to say living in the truth, which is some. But yeah now he's not lying to women at least. Like he has all these women that knows know what they're getting into and they are signing up for it. Right. So they have all full control and all consent for the. Unlike his ex wives, he had the first wife have a damn tie her tubes telling her he didn't want any more children. Then he left her, then married Crystal Renee, had two kids with her, cheated on her with a stripper and got that pregnant too.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I'm saying. Just not the year of the gentleman. I guess that was 2000.

[AJ Holiday]

He was doing all this while making their songs. Well, I'm so sick of love songs. Yes. That was.

[Tam Bam]

He was sick of. He told us he was sick. We should have listened. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Ain't never lie.

[Tam Bam]

It's scary out here. That's like, why sometimes I be thinking, like, should we all pick one person? I think as a woman, it seems like you be getting the short end of the stick sometime.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, men created marriage so they can all somebody. So everybody would have a chance at getting. That's what I believe. Okay, just lock. Lock in a female. Whoever you can lock in, lock her in. I don't like it. I don't.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, like, before that, they would be clubbing over the head to get their.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, like, man, I don't think that was happening. Not most black people.

[Tam Bam]

How do you. Humanity came about, you know, like, continue to humanity.

[AJ Holiday]

We've been humans this human for a very long time. There's another group of people who are kind of young on the planet now. They might have been in caves and. And knocking over the head. We have. We have cultures where women were like real life matriarchs. Like, we was running shit and men did what we told them to do, so.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, the Missoulus.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. A lot of different tribes, a lot of different cultures. Yeah, we getting back there too. We getting back there right now. That's why these niggas be fighting us so hard, because they know it's coming. Demetri Arc is coming back. Furthermore, I'm speaking on medium ugly. What you think about.

[Tam Bam]

It's a medium ugly day.

[AJ Holiday]

What you think about Karrueche possibly dating Deion Sanders?

[Tam Bam]

I'm here for it. I'm a fan of Deion Sanders.

[AJ Holiday]

I like him.

[Tam Bam]

I like his energy. He is very strong, masculine energy. And I know if it's true, he is nailing Karrueche little self to the bed.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. I like that for her because I know he probably like real healthy. He gets up and jog every morning, got good heart, health. That strong. I know it's strong. It looked like it gets strong.

[Tam Bam]

And he probably like very like, like, very like, not bossy, but like, that's a grown man. Like, you're not playing with Deion Sanders. Like, she probably had to be a little baby that. Listen, I don't see them together, but I'm here for it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

She don't seem like she was like a man that much more mature than her, but I don't. I'M probably wrong. Yeah, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

This. That's what happened. You just listen, get somebody who ain't playing no more games. They tired. They don't want to do much. They want to lay the down, too.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, absolutely.

[AJ Holiday]

Take some yacht trips.

[Tam Bam]

You know, I got invited to Barbados next week and I'm trying to decide do I want to go.

[AJ Holiday]

Go. I'm so jealous. I'm going to Barbados this year. I'm jealous. If you go, you ever been.

[Tam Bam]

I don't want to live there Wednesday to Sunday.

[AJ Holiday]

That's not long enough. I need nine days. Expensive.

[Tam Bam]

I gotta go to school. That's why I have to be after. Like, they gonna be gone. But I can't. I can't go. I already paid these classes, so I got to go.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, Barbados expensive as hell too, man.

[Tam Bam]

But, yeah, I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. If I go.

[AJ Holiday]

Go, man. Go for me. I'm going this year for sure. And I'm gonna take a long trip if I got to go by myself.

[Tam Bam]

Do we have a baddie? It's the last week of February.

[AJ Holiday]

It is, y'all. But, you know, black history is all year. Black history is. And, you know, I was having a little back and forth with a friend of mine, a very close friend of mine, about this the other day when I saw the headline. Because, man, I swear, all I get is negative, hairline negative political headlines all the time. Remember? I didn't tell you, Tammy, but it wasn't just you. I mean, in that day, I mean, was slamming me. And it's like, I feel like people be trying to get you on a. Aha, Gotcha. Look at this. This is what you voted for type shit. No, it's not working.

[Tam Bam]

That's internal.

[AJ Holiday]

No, I don't think. I really don't think it's internal because I don't think that people were critiquing any other president as much as the current president. People were not. The Shade woman did the Shade room post about Biden signing Smith and Coke and shit instead of a Coke off a stripper butt and having underage girls in a. Yeah, none of that shit ever happened. I don't know about them embezzling all type of money. In Ukraine, we saw none of those headlines. The things that are now coming out in the news, which is why he pardoned his entire family, but those were never headlines on black media. So what I would like to see is some of the positive things, especially when it's pertaining to black people.

[Tam Bam]

Listen, I'm here For anything positive. Black.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So Alice Marie Johnson, I don't know if y'all have ever heard of her, but just recently, Trump appointed her to be pardon czar. So this is a newly created position, one of its kind, you know, in American history. So she's an American justice reform advocate and former federal prisoner. She was convicted in 1996 for her involvement in a Memphis cocaine trafficking organization and sentenced to life imprisonment. Now they're saying she was the head of the organization, but she had never been in jail a day in her life prior to being convicted and sentenced to life in prison. So she. In 2018, June 2018, after serving 21 years in prison, she was released by the. She was released from the Federal Correctional Institution, Aliceville, wherever that is. And then she did get clemency from Trump as well. And I think Kim Kardashian helped with that. And so since then, since she's been out, she's been, you know, working on prison reform. She's helped other people gain their freedom as well. So last week, February 20, 2025, Trump named her as his administration's pardons are. And I think that's great news. As much black people as we.

[Tam Bam]

We have what the pardons are. Exactly.

[AJ Holiday]

So she would be. She'd be working, you know, with the. The Department of Justice, and it is exactly what it is. Just like you have the borders are the person who's. Who was in charge.

[Tam Bam]

So she's pretty much taking Kim Kardashian job because that's what.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, Kim Kardashian was just the face because she's a big name. Right. There's people who Kim Kardashian was working with, like, different organizations that do this. Like, they, you know what I'm saying, they help people get pardons all the time. But Kim Kardashian, she's been helping because of who she is. Why not?

[Tam Bam]

Definitely was. The prior partners are.

[AJ Holiday]

She was the face of pardon. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, whoever we gotta put in place. Cool.

[Tam Bam]

To help this black woman. I always support black woman. Black women doing great things. What's her name?

[AJ Holiday]

Her name is Alice Marie Johnson, and she is a baddie and a Gemini.

[Tam Bam]

We salute you. You're a baddie who talks back.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y'all. So I know we were talking about. Who the hell was we talking about anyway, y'all? Oh, when we were talking about neo ass side mean new baby mamas, all this.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, this is red blue.

[AJ Holiday]

So this week we want to know, you know, because the side be. Be thinking they. They be winning.

[Tam Bam]

I call them side. Let's come.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. Side women. The side women. The extracurricular activity women. You know, my. My one. I. The thing I hate to see them say is, don't ask me action man, who you talking to? And then the main, you know, the main who thinks she's entitled to all the things, like who's really winning. So it's the main chick versus the side chick for this, this week's episode.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, who's winning that fight?

[AJ Holiday]

Like, who's you ever been a side chick?

[Tam Bam]

You're pardoned. All right, y'all, we're gonna get into that conversation when we get back.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

The first two years of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your real cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let the sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with the 64 color personalized light option, you can set the mood any way you want, be it romantic, chill, or in a straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.

[AJ Holiday]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather appointed seats are optional features.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Geico's motorcycle expertise gives me the coverage I need.

[AJ Holiday]

Like 24.7 claims I'm on cloud nine.

[Joe Locke]

Clouds are wholly unable to support the weight of an adult human.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

What's happening?

[Joe Locke]

Furthermore, clouds are not numbered. Even if you procured a jetpack and searched, you'd find no cloud number nine. However, at that altitude, you'd likely befriend a flock of migrating snow geese. Geese who'd encourage you to leave your 24.7geico motorcycle claims insurance behind as they would take you in and even share their dinner of crickets and clovers with you. Geico assumes no liability for any indigestion that may occur from a clover cricket dinner. Geico expertise for your motorcycle.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney, and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper and Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Tam Bam]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like, Joe?

[Tam Bam]

You like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often. There's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[Tam Bam]

Not like.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No.

[Tam Bam]

Have we.

[AJ Holiday]

No.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No, not yet. Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls, gays and they's to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell. And my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for. For the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[AJ Holiday]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'all? Welcome to We Talk Back podcast. And today we're. We're delving in a controversial topic with relationships. Okay, Mean chick versus side chick. Who winning? Does anybody win?

[Tam Bam]

Nobody wins when the Family Feuds, okay?

[AJ Holiday]

You ain't family if you decide, bitch.

[Tam Bam]

Now, according to who?

[AJ Holiday]

That's true. Now side bitch be turning into the meme real fast.

[Tam Bam]

Sometimes. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. We saw that movie, the Family that.

[AJ Holiday]

Prays you in these fucking movies.

[Tam Bam]

It was a Tyler. I think it was a Tyler Perry film, but don't get me the Lion. So it had Alfre Woodard in it. I can't think of that white lady's name, but she's in it. She was amazing. And Sanada Lathan. Okay, and she played the side chick to Denzel.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, what happened?

[Tam Bam]

That was a rumor, remember? I don't know anything about that. So. Yeah, she played a side chick to the kif kart. That was his name. The. The white guy who was. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she had the car, she had all the money. She had like 300,000 in her savings. But it did not end well for her.

[AJ Holiday]

Didn't she get pregnant?

[Tam Bam]

She said, my son is a kith card. But I don't know how true that was because they never really went back into that.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, I definitely remember the movie now.

[Tam Bam]

See? But yeah, she was like side bitch extraordinaire, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

So let's define the roles, right?

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

What are the roles of the main chick? You would say everything.

[Tam Bam]

Everything important.

[AJ Holiday]

Like what? Give me some.

[Tam Bam]

Like, all right. She gives the kids. She's with the family. She nurtures, like, she feeds the family. She is his one and only when it comes to it. Like, it'll be like him and her when it's all over. That's the main chick. That's the one that everybody knows about. That's the one who takes the family portraits. That's his main. Yeah, that's the main.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so that's the wife.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that wife. Well, not necessarily the wife. Cause it could be a girlfriend too.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, we'll talk about it from both. At both aspects. Like married man with a side or married woman with a side. And then like the boyfriend girlfriend.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I feel like with boyfriend girlfriends, like, if you ain't married, like, you like fair game.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, you really are fair game. Like, you can't post somebody for. You're a home wrecker. You my boyfriend? No. He's out here choosing, right. If that's your husband now, now you got a leg to stand on. But boyfriend, you really don't sued in.

[AJ Holiday]

The state of North Carolina.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, sometimes, like, we will look at a girl crazy if she messing with somebody, man. And maybe they not married though the celebrity world.

[AJ Holiday]

I look at all them people crazy. Like, if you like. Oh, we all know that's that lady husband, right?

[Tam Bam]

Or her boyfriend, though.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Why you want him? And then you talk a crazy like that with Jello.

[Tam Bam]

Jello Ball and Nikki baby. Oh, that hurt my feelings.

[AJ Holiday]

We know. That's. That's so why you. Why you want him? That's why. I like. I love Sweetie. I like Sweetie a lot, man.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. What she do?

[AJ Holiday]

But I just did not like seeing Sweetie on lil baby lap. Like, you know, that's Jada Wade old man.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

It's just. Why you doing that?

[Tam Bam]

Why you doing that?

[AJ Holiday]

It's kind of chicken head ish anyway. And it was so what's the world?

[Tam Bam]

But they wasn't married, though, so it's not.

[AJ Holiday]

They're not married. But they were publicly in a relationship.

[Tam Bam]

If his lap is open, do she know his lap open?

[AJ Holiday]

But see, this is why I say women also have to take accountability. The onus does not just fall on the man. Like, yes, the home wrecker is the motherfucker that's in the home.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

But if you intentionally and knowingly engage with a man, knowing that you know.

[Tam Bam]

He'S in a relationship, you're just as culpable.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Now, I've definitely been on some ask him, don't ask me type, you know what I'm saying? With a boyfriend situation at work.

[Tam Bam]

Ain't that the same, though?

[AJ Holiday]

Huh?

[Tam Bam]

Ain't that the same, though?

[AJ Holiday]

Like, depending on how I find out, like, because most men, like you don't know, they're not going to tell you they in their relationship. Now all of a sudden, somebody randomly calling your cell phone. So when a person does that, I'm never going to let you feel like you got to live. Sorry, I might cuss him out, but you don't got no love when you call my phone.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. Cuz you coming to me as a woman, and I'm coming as a sniper every time.

[Tam Bam]

Okay? Period.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. So side. So side don't have, like, pictures with family and they don't be on vacation with the family sometimes. Yes. The family playing a lot with the side and the mean.

[Tam Bam]

Sometimes the family like the side chick better than they like the man, and.

[AJ Holiday]

They waiting for her to get the hell up out of there.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah. It's a slippery slope. It really is. It's real nasty.

[AJ Holiday]

I feel like when women cheat, like, we actually have sidemen, like, because. Only because men play the side better than women.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

When women play the side, y'all calling this man's wife. Y'all popping up places, y'all getting pregnant. Y'all in the video. Like, Diddy. When it's a woman with a man, it's like he really playing his role, right?

[Tam Bam]

Because he don't want the responsibility of being the main character at the time. Like you. He don't want that main character energy. Yeah, he don't want that.

[AJ Holiday]

I think side chicks don't want the man all the time either. Like, when they do acquire him, the relationship oftentimes soils typically.

[Tam Bam]

You know what? When it's a younger woman and an older man, I think that dynamic is like, I don't want him for real. I just want the bag he doing. He take me out. I have fun. I don't want her responsibility. But when they're peers, when they're about the same age, that woman might want that man for real, you know, like, he's gonna leave her for me. Energy.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And that's just the biggest mistake as far as I'm concerned. Don't ever want to take a man from out of a home.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Because side be cooking for, like, you tripping. Why are you cooking for the side?

[Tam Bam]

Chicks are like. Because they just wait, trying to do all the things that the wife isn't, you know, or the main chick isn't. That's what they trying to fill that space.

[AJ Holiday]

And I just feel like if you're gonna be a side girl, it's like a fun position.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

It should just be fun business trips, you know, you with him, things like that. Like. And you just always shut the up and quiet. Don't talk, girl. Charleston got some drama going on. It's a girl in there. She. They put it all on YouTube, on Facebook, how they went and beat up the husband's girlfriend, who apparently they used to have threesomes with, but he chose the other person.

[Tam Bam]

What happened with Stevie J And Mimi and Jocelyn Hernandez?

[AJ Holiday]

They used to do threesomes together.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I. That's what I thought. Like, they had, like, a intimate, fun relationship. And then he kind of went another direction.

[AJ Holiday]

No, these are real life ratchets. Like, I'm gonna send you this Facebook video because this got the her stocking still hanging off. It was her. Her daughter, which is a young adult. His mama. His mama was there because it happened at her house. And he likes the wife better. I mean, she likes the wife better. But they all jumped the girlfriend.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that's terrible.

[AJ Holiday]

That's fucked up.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it is.

[AJ Holiday]

He chose instead of. Why are you mad?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, instead of jumping.

[AJ Holiday]

But the girlfriend was talking shit online. Well, maybe rebuttal online. Said a girl talking shit. Like, I'm not about to just shut the up all the time while you talking shit to me just because you supposedly. The wife, like, he obviously is out the door.

[Tam Bam]

Was it a real wife? Like, were they legally.

[AJ Holiday]

They've been married for years.

[Tam Bam]

I don't think. I mean, I don't think this. I should. I think she should be quiet. I don't think she should be arguing. But you don't really have a leg to stand on. This woman has a valid reason to be angry with you.

[AJ Holiday]

But she came in as a unicorn. So you invited that into your relationship, and then maybe y'all coochie's ain't match up. He chose the unicorn.

[Tam Bam]

Is it always just about coochie? I don't think it's always just about coochie.

[AJ Holiday]

So I heard that he's making. I don't even know these people, girl. This is just what I heard to the grapevine. Like he. He's actually been trying to change his life for this girl. She's a little younger than the one he's married to. The wife obviously is super ratchet.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. But I think they all kind of remedial also. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

It sounds like a very remedial situation. But there are times where men will have a wife and been with her for a long time and then trace her in for a newer model. That happens. It'll start as like just an affair and then becomes the. The size becomes the main. Because she's more youthful. Makes him feel younger, makes him feel more alive.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, my mom is a prototype because I swear to God, all my daddy girlfriends and current wife, they're younger than my mama, but they look like my mama.

[Tam Bam]

Like that's really like a younger version of your.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. That's really.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that's so hurtful.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean they didn't really win. My mom is the winner. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm not paying no bills with an old. That's the way to work. Why you got this old man?

[Tam Bam]

Is there perks of being a side chick though? Are there like really perks?

[AJ Holiday]

It's supposed to be about perks.

[Tam Bam]

Perks.

[AJ Holiday]

You're not supposed to be falling in love and all this, but people do.

[Tam Bam]

And so how do you keep. How do you stop from like, you don't be delusional.

[AJ Holiday]

Stop being.

[Tam Bam]

I'm like such a hopeless romantic. I don't think I could like survive in that type of relationship.

[AJ Holiday]

Me neither.

[Tam Bam]

Because I'mma fall in love.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm not going to fall in love because I match energy. So if I. If I don't feel you falling in love with me, I'm not just going. I can't.

[Tam Bam]

You think these don't love their side? No, absolutely be acted up at home being mean to his wife cuz him and his side having a bad day.

[AJ Holiday]

You remember that was like. You'll be surprised how many having relationship issues with your.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Why you so sad, babe? Man, I just had a rough day, you know. I don't know, man.

[AJ Holiday]

I got somebody like that, man.

[Tam Bam]

Don't you get your Tyler doll cuz his side hurting his head, dog.

[AJ Holiday]

I used have to be like, listen, don't like my space is zinned. Out my whole life, wherever I'm at is Zen. It's quiet, it smell good, it's clean. It's fun over here. Don't bring that. That you got going on at the house with your baby mama and the kids and all that. And now you coming over here mad disturbing my peace. I ain't do nothing to you.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

But obviously you. You need an outlet right quick. And now you come into my house with the. So I've debt in my 20s. I definitely spent some years in a situation like that. And I did not know about the other person initially, but one. You already fall in love.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? So it's hard to get out of there. But you got to. I had to move.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I don't know, like, relocate sometimes I think, all right, so I'm single, and I've been single for a minute now. But I'll be feeling like if I had, because I'm kind of stuck in my ways a little bit. If I had a man in the home all the time, I already told you, I might want him to have a side bitch so he could just, like, get on my face a little bit. Not right away, but after 10 years. After 10 years, looking at this nigga day in and day out like, damn, ain't nobody checking for you.

[AJ Holiday]

God damn. Go get me a break. I'm the only person who like, you.

[Tam Bam]

Give me a break, nigga. Go to her house.

[AJ Holiday]

That's a little while. I don't really care no more, but I just better not find out about it. You better just don't let me find out if you out here outside. Because the minute I find out, like, I don't have patience for finding out no more. Yeah, but if you doing it and I don't know, more power to you, bro. And if she okay with the amount of time that you give her, hey, man, y'all do y'all thing just don't bring me nothing.

[Tam Bam]

After 10 years, I'm feeling like. I might be feeling like that. I might just be saying it. I might be heartbroken if I found out my man was doing that. But the way how I live my life right now, I know that that space would make me happy. That, like, you know, time away. So maybe I'm probably need like an open situation. But not at first. Just maybe like later seeing the same person day after day after day for year after year after year. That don't sound crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

It is crazy. I'm living it right now.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that sounds like too much problem.

[AJ Holiday]

When I'm home alone. Yeah, that's. And he don't even get on my nerve and none of that shit. Like, I really. We really be chilling. Like, we have low. I can count how many times we, like, had a little back and forth, you know what I'm saying? That nigga told me to. Hey. He told me to shut the fuck up the other day. Now, I was pissed about that.

[Tam Bam]

You probably needed to.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, because he was really shuffling, trying to get the fuck out the house. And I just was still going at him, sounding like my mom. I heard my mama voice come up my body because, you know, I was mad about the equipment. If I let you hold something, dog, like, take care of it, you know, so it's not about the things. It is. What is your value system? Our value systems don't.

[Tam Bam]

It was. It was an accident, y'all.

[AJ Holiday]

It looked like he was changing oil with my cable. And that don't fix that car.

[Tam Bam]

Okay?

[AJ Holiday]

So, yeah, like, take care of my things. Treat your how to ever you want to, but when it comes to my things, don't touch him. And then he gets mad when I ask him not to touch my things.

[Tam Bam]

He told you to shut the up?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, because he was shuffling at the door. I said, yeah, you trying to hurry up and get out the house in it. Hey, shut the up. That's rude. Don't tell me shut the up. Hell no, I should not.

[Tam Bam]

It's okay to shut up sometimes.

[AJ Holiday]

No, because I be shutting up a lot. So when I do yell and I get mad, it's because I have already shut the fuck up 20 times over. Yeah, okay, so now you gonna get this.

[Tam Bam]

But once you get to a space where a nigga is verbally telling you to shut the fuck up, maybe just.

[AJ Holiday]

Shut up or maybe take accountability and say, you know what? You right. My bad. I do care about more shit than sneakers. I do. I do care about, you know, your cables and things like that.

[Tam Bam]

I think he probably by that point, you had already driven it home, and now you was just like.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I didn't get a response from him. That was. The first response, was shut the up. Anyway, going to work.

[Tam Bam]

Don't nobody want to hear that all day.

[AJ Holiday]

No, he might have just got off, though. No, for real, the had just. Just got off.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Had a long day at work.

[AJ Holiday]

Whatever.

[Tam Bam]

Talk about a. I don't be on.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't be on nobody hip that bad, so if I get on your ass, you deserve it. Okay? And I was already aggravated at your ass, too, so it's 1:30pm and I'm tired of humans.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I was like, she must be on her period today.

[AJ Holiday]

Might have been.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it was giving. It was giving period energy.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay.

[Tam Bam]

So apparently she was like, I don't have the bandwidth for any more of this today. I'm done.

[AJ Holiday]

I still did the work though, right? You did okay. Yeah. That's all I met at. I. I would not have been able to do that if we kept going in circles. And then I just calculate time different because I know my bullshit. Some people don't know they bullshit. I know our bullshit as a team. So I know how long it takes us to do things. So I'm calculating that in my mind.

[Tam Bam]

But I feel like you did it this time.

[AJ Holiday]

I absolutely did. I absolutely knew we wasn't going to have time for some next shit now. We happen to because of our bullshit.

[Tam Bam]

I knew it would play out just like how it did.

[AJ Holiday]

Shut up. Bye.

[Tam Bam]

You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying. Like we gonna have a break. I was like, oh, yeah. Okay.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

The first two years of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your real cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot. But here's the good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let the sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with the 64 color personalized light option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill or in a straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.

[AJ Holiday]

Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional features.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Tam Bam]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like, Joe?

[Tam Bam]

You like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We Often there's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[Tam Bam]

Not like.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No. Have we?

[AJ Holiday]

No.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No, not yet. Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls, gays and they's to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we, we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently cancelled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[AJ Holiday]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless d ckless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Me. I'm the old one, I'm the young one. And every week we try to make each other laugh. Really? It sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[AJ Holiday]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[AJ Holiday]

So supposedly the main chick is public. Okay. They have the official title, the social recognition, emotional investment. But I feel like the man loves the side. It depends on how long she's been around. I feel like you sleep with anybody long enough, you'd be around anyone long enough, you are going to develop feelings for them.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? You may not be about to discard your entire family for this person. And some people have. Kevin Hart, for example. He didn't discard his family, but he, you know, his wife, who, well, I.

[Tam Bam]

Think they had already Broken up before he moved on.

[AJ Holiday]

This is why. This is why Tori Hart always be like, because. Remember his current wife? What's her name?

[Tam Bam]

Anika or something? Yeah, Aniko, that's somebody else wife.

[AJ Holiday]

Anyway. Kevin Hart, current wife. I remember her putting like up online, like how long they had been together and, and. And the ex wife commented, oh, okay, that's interesting. So y'all been together eight years. So it overlapped their marriage. Yeah, absolutely. She was a side chick and he married her. So.

[Tam Bam]

And had a family and made a family.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

So, I mean, I didn't want to.

[AJ Holiday]

Have the hard conversation.

[Tam Bam]

I would always tell women not to play that role. I don't think, like, nine times out of 10 is not going to end well unless you're just in it for the purse. But if you're looking for the man to leave his family and be with you, nine times out of 10, that's not going to happen.

[AJ Holiday]

And then you also keep him how you get him.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, so now you. You don't expect that to happen to you when he's ready to swap it out. Right. I just saw this post and I don't know if this was real. I thought. I believe it was real, but it was a woman and she was saying how I was a white woman. She was saying how she fell in love with this man and he had a wife. And basically he told the wife, I'm in love with somebody else. I'm no less in love with you, though. And I want y'all to meet. Right.

[Tam Bam]

And then how did that go?

[AJ Holiday]

He brought them in to the table together. They both. They had conversations and they. I guess neither one of them wanted to leave, so they.

[Tam Bam]

So now they just a poly situation.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, but like still separate, though. Like, he has a girlfriend and a wife and he eventually left both of them for somebody else.

[Tam Bam]

Now ain't that about a bitch? You see, you can't listen. You can't please him.

[AJ Holiday]

You cannot please.

[Tam Bam]

That's why I say it's important to set boundaries and not do things just to please your man.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly.

[Tam Bam]

You can't just be doing things to please your man because you will find yourself in the bottom of a pile up.

[AJ Holiday]

Yo, this says, may get cheated on but get social recognition.

[Tam Bam]

That's amazing.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, Duh. Yeah, of course. So one of the pro cons to being a main chick is that you may get cheated on.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

You can't get cheated on as a side.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Because you already you the cheater.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

And not the che.

[AJ Holiday]

So the side chick Is the second option may get treated better than the main, but without commitment. Right.

[Tam Bam]

You got me sitting up in the house with these kids all day and you out gallivanting with some bitch in a casino.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, no stress over there.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, no stress over here.

[AJ Holiday]

You got to be a husband, you got to be a daddy, all the things. So now this is your like fun time outlet over here.

[Tam Bam]

I could understand why a man would want that though.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And some say, you know, I think a lot of wives, they may not admit it. They may not admit that maybe the side made their. Their relationship better. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I just can't be there because I'ma want somebody else too. Like you're not gonna want me to be your side because your side got a.

[Tam Bam]

Well, no, that's not true. Some people, like two married people will cheat together. Like they'll be each other's side and it makes it easier because the side doesn't need you for the other things. Like sometimes women want that man to be their man and he can't be their man because he's already somebody else's. But they already got a man at home, they don't need him for all of that. You see what I'm saying? So that, that makes it probably that's.

[AJ Holiday]

Why it's easy for women to have a side than men. Yeah, women be over there waiting on the man. So that's why she got too much time to think, go get you a man.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

While being inside. Maybe you tell them, maybe you don't.

[Tam Bam]

So when I was in Europe, I had this client and her, she had like got her a side, a younger, like she was in her 50s. She looked really, really good though. She took really good care of herself. And she had like a 30 something year old side guy. And she was expressing that she didn't really want to ever cheat on her husband, but her husband had let himself go so badly. She had been on him about, you know, taking care of himself and he just was getting fat and now his dick wouldn't work. And she said they had not had sex in three years and she like took making him go to the doctor. The doctor, she's healthy. Yeah, she's very. In the gym and everything. And she was like, the doctor would tell him what to do to help, like, you know, promote better penal function and he just wouldn't do none of the stuff. So she's like, I waited three years for him to try to get it together and he just won't do it. He's just not motivated to take care of himself, and I can't do it for him. So I went and got somebody who could fuck me.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, or maybe he needed a nut. Maybe they. I think sometimes I just saw this and said, either you want to cross mountains with your partner or they'll be the mountain you got across. Right. So sometimes people be in this state of depression, whatever. It could be this other part person, maybe she's no longer for him, obviously. Right. She really should have just left.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's what I say. I mean, but just leave.

[AJ Holiday]

And then he probably would get somebody that would motivate him in a different way. You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

He was just complacent, it sounds.

[Tam Bam]

But I also think, like, they had so much together at that point that.

[AJ Holiday]

Staying together because of responsibility.

[Tam Bam]

And they got kids, you know, that aren't out of high school yet. So it wasn't as easy to just be like, oh, let's just separate, you know, and they got all that financial, you know, endeavors together, so it's cheaper to keep them.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't kill them.

[Tam Bam]

Keep them.

[AJ Holiday]

What?

[Tam Bam]

No, don't kill them. But listen, we. Like when we talking about a woman doing it, I'm like, oh, I understand that. But as soon as we talk about a man do it, I'm like, that bastard.

[AJ Holiday]

That bastard. Right, so who really has the power in these relationships? Because the side bitch got the power to piss you off. Right. Like, who's. Who's really getting, like, good treatment?

[Tam Bam]

The man. The man is getting the best of everything.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

He gets to go have his fun and have fornicate with this girl who is fun time. He don't have to worry about responsibilities with her. It's just his outlet. And then he gets to go have a family with this other person and then build generational wealth and have a family, you know, like you just winning on both sides.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So. So basically then nobody's winning between the main and.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, they don't win at all. You know, I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

I feel like. I know the main isn't. Well, she could win if she divorces and takes all the things that may be a way of winning. She doesn't win the relationship and then the side. I mean, if she can actually play the role as a side and get all the things, you know what I'm saying? People be getting a tuition paid, all type of. If you could be a proper side.

[Tam Bam]

But I guess it depends on how you define winning, you know, like, because why isn't the main winning? Especially if like this man takes care of her. She don't have to want for nothing. Don't have to worry about like responsibilities outside of like nurturing the family and taking care of the kids. I'm making it seem like that's, that.

[AJ Holiday]

Is a lot of shit responsibility while you around here gallivanting with the next. Yeah, absolutely not.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I guess you're right. So it says, listen, I would love to sit home, go to Pilates in the morning with my friends, hot yoga and then cook a meal and then take care of the kids. And that'd be my only responsibility. Women are doing that and maintaining full time jobs and having it, you know, wear all these different hats at the same time. So I mean, if you gonna have a side, you need to be able to take care of me in the way. Ain't nothing worse than a having a side who ain't got no money.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, how are you doing that now?

[Tam Bam]

You just got dick in. Big dick.

[AJ Holiday]

It's not even for those men, but they doing it. I know the most. No, but who is allowing that though, right? Because he don't even got enough money already for the woman he has. And your ass you gotta go to.

[Tam Bam]

Their house to pick him up.

[AJ Holiday]

Not you really gotta cook for this. Cause he can't eat otherwise.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Pick it up. Yo, you decide you picking them up for the house, man.

[AJ Holiday]

Men be having options, man. So when these be these in sales be on these podcasts, dog. It don't have nothing to do with women. While you ain't getting, get some charisma, get some smell good, get a haircut, get a hairline, get. It's because somebody want to give you some coochie. Okay? It just may not be the coochie you think you supposed to have access to.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

And I think that's, that's why they'd be mad because yeah, you, you, you might can't get the 10, you know, they like the number rate women. It's this post I'm trying to find and I don't know if I, if we talked about this on the show or not, where the girl. Basically the husband was saying how he had been cheating on his wife for a while and then he stopped cheating and then three years later she basically gave him some divorce papers like, I'm leaving, I'm in love with somebody else and I'm marrying that person. Did we talk about that?

[Tam Bam]

No, we did not.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, where is it?

[Tam Bam]

But what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So he, he had been with his wife for a while, and he admitted that he. He had cheated on her.

[Tam Bam]

She knew.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Huh. He said he kept getting caught cheating. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

He finally turned his life around.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And he said that his child, which is not her child, and then their child together, was basically happy for the mom. So here it goes. So it says, my wife and I have been married for 20 years. I will admit that I have cheated on her throughout the years. She caught me each and every time. I got tired of being caught, so I stopped. Two years ago, at dinner with our family Saturday night, my wife comes out, gives me divorce papers, and tells me she's leaving. Why would she want to leave me? I changed for her. I changed for her. Good boy. I had a nigga tell me that shit. I give all my bitches up for you. I didn't tell you to do that. I just told you you couldn't do this. And that nigga, you could have chose that. Anyway, so he was like, I changed for her. Exclamation point. We raised children together. We have a home together. And I was planning on surprising her with a new car. Apparently, my son, who is not her son, knew about it. Our daughter knew about it, and they had the nerve to fucking congratulate her. She told me that she was. She has been in a relationship for the last three years, and she's decided to marry this guy. At first, I thought it was a joke because her routine has never changed. See, women know how to do the. And that's love. He said, dinner is on the table at the same time every night. She ain't miss a beat.

[Tam Bam]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, men, y'all not coming home.

[Tam Bam]

Listen somewhere like. Like, scared right now. Like, my don't switch up. You better be, because I have a side. Especially if, you know, you ain't treating her right.

[AJ Holiday]

We are cats.

[Tam Bam]

You can't cheat over and over and over again and think them be no karma exactly associated with it.

[AJ Holiday]

He said, I don't know how. Excuse me? He said, I don't know when and how she had time to cheat on me. And I did not know I would not leave her. I would not let her leave this marriage easily. He says she would have to leave with absolutely nothing. My question is, how did she do all this? And I didn't know because while you.

[Tam Bam]

Was out doing you, she was doing her too. Who's making love to your old lady?

[AJ Holiday]

Why you making love? Like what you thought? You know what I'm saying? And, oh, what about that show P.

[Tam Bam]

Valley, which I can't wait for it to come back on. Don't do that. That's a good show. We miss you, Uncle Clifford. But where the wife? She was the doctor and she was married to Andre. Andre was the politician and he went back to check Elisa and he was trying to like revitalize Chuckalisa and things like that. And he started messing with the stripper Autumn. Autumn Night and.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, yeah, okay.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. He had affair with Autumn Night. And he came home and his wife was in there. Another doctor in their house.

[AJ Holiday]

Wasn't she a unicorn in a relationship?

[Tam Bam]

No, no, no. He was in Chuchalisa. His wife was in Atlanta, I believe.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay.

[Tam Bam]

And he went to Chuckalisa and he met Autumn Night and then they started having an affair. And I think they only end up really having sex one time, you know, but they were like, you know, it was a buildup. But then he came home to his wife. He had been gone for a long time. And when he came home, his wife had another doctor in the house having sex with him. And my friend was like, oh, she fucked up for that.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, in the house.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, in the house. That part in the like. Don't bring. No. You can fuck around, get killed for that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Don't bring nobody in your house. That's crazy. Like, you just don't give. You guys. You give zero fucks. But what's good for the goose is good for the Gannon. Like, if he was home instead of out in Chucalisa having sex with this strip girl, his wife probably would have been involved with him and not with this other person. You left space for that.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly. Yeah. Oh, when you got too much time to think, all type of happened.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

Now the house. Now, don't do that anybody. Do not. If you decide that you want to have a side relationship, do not bring them in your home, where the church.

[AJ Holiday]

And they probably steal side. Probably still. Now I got missing bags, missing all types.

[Tam Bam]

Like, I'm at my side house and I got his wife's shoes on and she had. She had on those shoes that look.

[AJ Holiday]

Like Monica, before I let you in my life.

[Tam Bam]

Don't do that. That's. That's dangerous.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So this. He want to know how she did it. She did it because she. She. The reason how she was able to do is because she actually cared about your feelings until she didn't anymore. Because obviously you was cartwheeling, doing the Dougie and the trip out on her heart for years.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

And kept getting caught. So you were being sloppy. And a lot of times you don't even gotta look for, like, men really. Just like the other day I was hiding behind the island at the house, hiding from Dasha.

[Tam Bam]

And she like, why are you hiding?

[AJ Holiday]

And she like, crept up. I. I'm waiting for her to come in front of me. I look around behind. This is how sneaky women are. Okay? We gonna bury y'all shit. Bury the shit. Take it to the grave. And men will literally leave the shit on a table for you to see.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

I remember this nigga had condoms and movie tickets in his trash can. I didn't. I didn't go through his trash can, look for these things. They were at the top and I just was throwing something in the trash can. So this weekend you was fucking and taking a bitch to the movies.

[Tam Bam]

Right? I remember I found a condom in the bed.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh no.

[Tam Bam]

Boyfriend I found. And he was like. He let his homeboy come over there.

[AJ Holiday]

It's always the homeboy.

[Tam Bam]

You got a five bedroom house. Why did they in your bedroom? Why wouldn't they? Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Just sloppy.

[Tam Bam]

Just telling me, like, you lying in my. And now you playing in my face. Because the lies are stupid. It don't make no sense.

[AJ Holiday]

This wasn't my man. Right.

[Tam Bam]

This was my whole.

[AJ Holiday]

We was having. We had sex and now we about to go to sleep. And high as hell. Something wrapping around my toes underneath the COVID so. Panties with a little mucus in it too.

[Tam Bam]

She was wet for him.

[AJ Holiday]

I still went to sleep. This ain't my. I mean, what you expect? He somebody else. But goddamn, you're not changing no sheets.

[Tam Bam]

That's the thing. You're laying in the sheet like the disrespect of putting me. But you never know how many bitches have been in. Because I don't even know if Watch this.

[AJ Holiday]

They don't.

[Tam Bam]

The way they should.

[AJ Holiday]

They don't.

[Tam Bam]

So you be laying in a woman's sweat spot often.

[AJ Holiday]

Remember we did Poor minds. And I was like, I buy men's sheets. It's not because I. I'm worrying about hooping on the sheets. I like nice linens. Right. I want to feel comfortable in your.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

So I'm gonna do all the things like. Right.

[Tam Bam]

Cause you might buy him something like your toothpick. He still might. Somebody in there.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, my. Now you on my sheets.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, he has good taste in linen.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

These thousand count cotton, organic cotton. Last.

[Tam Bam]

Last.

[AJ Holiday]

Nobody's winning. I agree with you when you say the man. Man is winning. It's just about perspective. It's subjective who the actual winner is. You start Throwing kids in there get messy. Because we do know that men get side pregnant all the time. Cuz you're not using the condom with her, you know.

[Tam Bam]

Well, you should be. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

But oftentimes they not like with somebody for a whole year, you still using the condom.

[Tam Bam]

Girl, if it's somebody on the side of your relationship, you should not be having unprotected sex.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And that's why your wife trying to figure out why the hell her coochie itching. Exactly. Yeah. We be knowing.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Even if you don't say nothing, we ain't caught you our body tell us you cheating anyway.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[AJ Holiday]

Anyway.

[Tam Bam]

Oh yeah. So by social standards, the main is always going to be the one that women champion. Like we're always going to be on her side, you know, we're going to be like, this is the one he chose. The other woman is, you know, conspiring with this man.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

And people can get hurt. You know, know the one who's in the dark is the one who can ultimately be hurt. You know. So I. I identify with that more and I side with that more. However, when we talk of terms of winning, nobody wins when the family feels honor, the man wins. He's the winner.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

And that's it. I ain't got nothing else on Stay.

[AJ Holiday]

Stay off these people husband man.

[Tam Bam]

That's not going to stop.

[AJ Holiday]

Cuz you don't want nobody on yours.

[Tam Bam]

This why?

[AJ Holiday]

This why? That's why I don't fuck with people husbands. Cause I might beat your ass up about mine.

[Tam Bam]

I listen.

[AJ Holiday]

I might beat your ass up about my husband. I might pull up to your house.

[Tam Bam]

Prior to 10 years of my marriage. Don't fuck with my husband.

[AJ Holiday]

Right after 10 years. Call me first. Let me see if I like you. Girl, what you doing on Saturday? Can you get this nigga? I can go with my other nigga.

[Tam Bam]

Thank you, girl. I'mma. I would send y'all some money to go out now.

[AJ Holiday]

They conspiring. The man conspiring with the side. Right?

[Tam Bam]

That is about the house.

[AJ Holiday]

That is real love. Okay. All right, y'all. So if you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Any announcements, anything else in between?

[Tam Bam]

No, I can't think of.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, go ahead, kick it down.

[Tam Bam]

Y'all remember to. What is it? No, like subscribe.

[AJ Holiday]

Like click subscribe. All the good things.

[Tam Bam]

Yes, and I'm official. Tam Bam on Instagram. Y'all follow me. I love y'all so much. Remember speak now and hold your you better cause these is outside.

[AJ Holiday]

Bye. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

With the American Express Gold card, I can earn four times membership rewards points at US supermarkets.

[AJ Holiday]

So with all these groceries, I'm also getting points.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Learn [e-mail] US Explore Gold terms and points cap apply.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapy, like bad touch football, anti racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[AJ Holiday]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless, dickless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Me. I'm the old one, I'm the young one. And every week we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[AJ Holiday]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Ow.

[AJ Holiday]

Go slower.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

From Blumhouse TV, iHeart podcasts and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi and what's the way to find a missing person and sleep with everyone he knew. Obviously. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.