Thou Art No Russell

Summary

Podcast Summary – We Talk Back: "Thou Art No Russell"

Date: April 30, 2026
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Network: The Black Effect Podcast Network & iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the complexities of modern dating, relationship expectations, the "Russell Wilson archetype," and the pitfalls of assuming a "good guy" will always be good for you. Through real talk and comedic banter, hosts TamBam and AJ Holiday analyze recent relationship scandals (including Meg Thee Stallion and Klay Thompson), discuss women’s desires for "safe" partners, the search for authenticity, and whether women are truly ready for the relationships they claim to want. The show is laced with candid self-reflection, anecdotes, and insight into how women attract, settle for, or pass over different types of men.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: Missing the Black Effect Podcast Festival (03:01–09:00)

• AJ recaps the Atlanta festival while TamBam confesses she missed it, prioritizing rest over events.
• AJ reflects on self-care vs. FOMO and how Atlanta tends to drain her energy.
  • Quote: "People should probably try to get in a routine of not forcing themselves. Like, if you just feel like your body does not want to do something, don't." – AJ (04:43)

2. Abuse, Accountability, & Repeated Patterns (09:07–13:56)

• The hosts discuss viral videos and abuse allegations against comedian Uncle Stanley Joe.
• Immediate anger over perpetrator excuses and cycles of abusive relationships.
  • AJ objects to minimizing violence: "I can’t imagine that these women are just provoking these men to beat their ass." (13:05)
• Insightful admission: Both hosts recount formerly being “handsy” with partners but stress they've grown; now, zero tolerance for violence.

3. Wild Story: The Mercedes Date Night (15:06–18:28)

• Viral story: A woman tracks her car to a bar at night, finds her dealership mechanic using it for a date.
  • Memorable moment: TamBam on dealership denial: “I really believe that they were allowing it.” (17:30)
  • AJ on violation: "You taking bitches on dates, it’s crazy." (17:36)

4. Megan Thee Stallion & the “Russell Wilson Archetype” (23:02–37:04)

4.1. The Klay Thompson “Cheating” News

• Recap of festival gossip: Meg Thee Stallion calling out Klay Thompson’s infidelity.
• Discussion of men’s reactions and double standards:
  • Quote: "They just hate Meg Thee Stallion so bad... It’s like they want Klay for themselves or something." – TamBam (24:42)

4.2. The Myth & Desire of the “Russell Wilson” Man (25:45–37:04)

• Sierra’s journey from “bad boys” to Russell Wilson used as a pop culture reference.
• Discussion: Why do women chase “different” types? Can you expect a Russell Wilson in disguise?
  • AJ: "She thought she was getting her Russell. That’s what we need to talk about today." (25:26)
• Defining the “Russell Wilson archetype”: Faith-driven, marriage-minded, emotionally expressive, financially stable, publicly respectful.
• Important reflection:
  • "Sometimes women want that Russell Wilson type... but we are not actually ready for that." – AJ (31:15)

5. Why “Nice Guys” Don’t Guarantee a Fairy Tale (33:13–46:00)

• On “too nice” guys and attraction: Why does “boring” feel unattractive? Do we confuse peace with dullness?
  • TamBam: "If it’s too easy, sometimes I’d be like, not into it. Which is toxic… but younger now."
  • AJ: "I like my nervous system to be intact. I don’t like surprises no more." (33:49)
• Reflections on relationship toxicity: Many women stay for fleeting highs, not overall peace.
  • "You could be a better man, but it’s probably not going to be for me… I’m a firm believer in giving a bitch a refurbished nigga.” – AJ (34:40)

6. Honesty, Expectations, and Reformation Projects (36:00–54:07)

• On dating men “in progress”: Can you date a Russell Wilson-in-the-making? TamBam: "I’m down with someone who’s doing things to make themselves better… it just depends where the starting point is."
• Looks and attraction: The hosts poke fun at “loving ugly” and reveal how personality can soften appearances over time but looks still matter ("I gotta kiss you, I can’t have no Frankenstein..." – TamBam, 51:20).
• On 'fixing' your man: They joke about buying partners skincare, beard kits, fashion, and how some men are resistant to change.

7. Are You Even Ready for Your “Russell Wilson”? (55:35–63:10)

• Self-examination: AJ and TamBam debate whether wanting a “leader” or a disciplined partner matches their own willingness to be “led.”
• Resistance to “discipline” in a romantic dynamic; positive alignment vs. losing oneself to someone else’s “program.”
  • TamBam: “I want a leader, but I don’t want to be disciplined because I’m not your child.”
  • AJ: “Y’all say y’all want men to lead, but you have to fucking listen to the man if he’s leading.” (58:11)
• The “single in a relationship” fantasy is dissected as unrealistic.

8. Animal Attraction, Baby Mamas, & Dating History (63:10–69:49)

• Why some women are drawn to men with lots of children ("future" types) vs. seemingly “lame” good guys.
  • AJ proposes it may be evolutionary: “This man is a producer… an innate thing that makes men with multiple children more attractive.”
• Cautionary advice: Don’t expect “Russell Wilson” from a man with “Future” energy or history.

9. Keeping Your Relationship Private (67:08–68:45)

• TamBam warns about oversharing:
  • "Stop telling your business. You don’t have to post every person on social media. You can take these L’s in private." (67:08)

10. Social Media Shade & Double Standards (68:06–69:49)

• Brief discussion about Glorilla allegedly shading Meg; bringing up how women, but not men, are shamed for their relationship histories.
  • "They never do it to men… but nobody’s counting the bodies men have, right?" – AJ (68:59)

11. Final Reflections & Closing (69:49–END)

• Closing advice:
  • AJ: "It’s not about you finding something different. It’s about you changing into something different to attract that."
  • TamBam: "You don’t have to suffer public embarrassment. Keep your business to yourself."
• Uplifting sign-off, thanks to listeners, self-love, and a reminder to "shoot for the stars, get what you like."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• AJ on relationship cycles:
  "You got to be who you want to be with." (67:04)

• TamBam on silent self-worth:
  "I want a leader, but I don’t want to be disciplined because I’m not your child." (58:17)

• AJ on settling:
  "You are not going to get a Russell Wilson out of Future. I don’t think in this lifetime will Future be Russell Wilson." (63:10)

• TamBam on privacy:
  "You can take these L’s in private… Nobody has to know." (67:08)

• AJ on change:
  "It’s not about you choosing somebody else. It’s actually about you changing to attract that other thing." (32:06)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Catching Up & Festival Recap: 03:01–09:00
• Viral Domestic Violence Case: 09:07–13:56
• Mercedes Date Night Debacle: 15:06–18:28
• Megan Thee Stallion Cheating News & Russell Wilson Archetype Discussion: 23:02–37:04
• Debunking “Nice Guy” Guarantees: 33:13–46:00
• Looks, Attraction, & Relationship “Fixing”: 50:13–54:07
• Are You Ready for Your Russell Wilson?: 55:35–63:10
• Privacy & Relationship Embarrassment: 67:08–68:45
• Social Media Shade, Double Standards: 68:06–69:49
• Final Thoughts: 69:49–End

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Tone & Style

• Unfiltered, honest, and comedic.
• Conversations blend personal anecdotes, sharp opinions, and hilarious one-liners with moments of self-awareness and tough love.
• Major focus on empowering women to know themselves before seeking life partners, and to avoid public embarrassment by keeping personal matters private.
• Calls out double standards and cultural traps around relationships, especially for Black women.

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Conclusion

This “We Talk Back” episode tackles the illusions surrounding "good guys" and happy endings, using pop culture to probe real relationship challenges. Exploring the Russell Wilson archetype, the hosts challenge women to reflect on their own readiness for the partners they claim to want, to recognize their patterns, and keep certain life lessons (and losses) off social media.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Tam Bam]

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[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. Who talks back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam?

[Tam Bam]

Hey, y'. All. I gotta catch my breath. I p out of shape. I love y'. All. I missed y'. All. Thank y' all for tuning back in this week with us. How was your weekend, AJ Child, you

[AJ Holiday]

know, we was in Atlanta this weekend. We meaning everybody but your ass.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, yeah. I ain't make it.

[AJ Holiday]

Somebody DM me was like, I heard Tam Bam ain't coming or something. What did this person say? If I had some extra. I just saw the message. Message today. Did you put out there that you wasn't gonna be there?

[Tam Bam]

No, I didn't, but one of the listeners asked me, was I gonna. Was I there?

[AJ Holiday]

That's probably who was then. Yeah, I. I didn't see the message until today. I'm sorry. Look, I don't got no pole right Try, though, You know, I would have tried to get her a VIP van, child, but it was a time, you know, it's such a hustle and bustle to do those things, you know, I'm saying events like that is just. It's fun while it's happening, but then your body just really pays for that shit, so. I understand the Renegade, right?

[Tam Bam]

Listen, I was literally. So I ordered some stuff to come. It didn't come in time. So I was literally walking through the mall trying to find something. It was supposed to rain, so I'm trying to find something that was rainworthy to wear. And I literally stopped in my tracks. Like Forest Gun, when he stopped running and he just stopped. That's what happened. I stopped and I just went home. And I did not leave my house for three days.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I think people should probably try to get in a routine of not forcing themselves. Like, if you just feel like your body does not want to do something, don't you? I don't be having FOMO now. Saturday night, everybody. It's 1:30 at night. We finishing up dinner, and they talking about going to the strip club, because, you know, that's like, the routine to do.

[Tam Bam]

Routine thing to do at night.

[AJ Holiday]

And I'm like, man, y' all, please go home, because I'm not going to the strip club, and I don't want to have fomo.

[Tam Bam]

Everybody to go to go home. You probably saved people, too.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. They didn't. Nobody else went out, so I was happy about that. I had to regret going to sleep, but, girl, it was a time K. Michelle was a guest appearance, you know? Of course, young man. He was there. Damn. What's the comedian? The Sigma. I mean, the Zeta. Yeah, she's a Zeta. The old comedian. Cheryl Underwood was there, and it's this. This trans guy off Instagram. I forgot his name. He was there as a guest with Mona. I really, really wish that Mona's. Mona is very, very funny. I'm talking about. Don't call me white girl. I just wish she would have done, like, a funnier. It was more, like, interview style, I guess, because we're in Atlanta and, like, you feel like you got a catered girl. Trump is president. Like, that's my excuse for all ignorant shit. Why are we, like, why was it.

[Tam Bam]

So. It was outside of what we're used to from her.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I wanted something different because I really, like, I went to see her.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Honestly. But it was cool. It was a good time. You know, you see all the. All your family members at the family reunion.

[Tam Bam]

I hate I missed this year's family reunion. I really. On Saturday, I was, like, sad in here saying, like, I should have went.

[AJ Holiday]

Everybody was like, what's happen? What's happening? I said, man, she renegoed me at the last minute.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I sure did. At the very final hour. I'm talking about Friday night. I call her like, hey, wait till

[AJ Holiday]

I'm already in town. Like, I don't think I'm coming. I ain't coming again.

[Tam Bam]

I ain't coming again. Yeah, I couldn't.

[AJ Holiday]

What did you do for the weekend?

[Tam Bam]

I slept. I slept and I slept and slept some more. I really didn't do else. I think I went and worked out one time. Like, that was it. I wore the same T shirt three days straight. You see, I washed. I washed.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, okay.

[Tam Bam]

But I don't even know if I watched every day, honestly. I just did not. I just needed to rest. My body was like, girl, if you don't lay down, I'mma lay you down. So that's all I did. But I missed y'. All. I really missed y'. All. And I promise I will prioritize rest before next year's event so I don't miss it, because it'll be a whole year. So people Won't see me for two years, you know, unless we do a live show and people come out.

[AJ Holiday]

I just hope they don't do it in Atlanta again. I love Atlanta. No, excuse me. I like, you know, the venue in Atlanta, but I would like to see. Because I do not like Atlanta. And I feel like that is part of the reason why I feel exhausted. I always say, like, Atlanta really be draining my energy, like, every day. It's like a struggle even if I get enough sleep, per se. You know what I'm saying? And I don't feel like I did a whole. A bunch of, like, I know Friday, me and my best friend went and we ate at two restaurants within three hours. Like, whole meals. Like, that was fun.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that sounds like a good time to me.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, I'm glad.

[Tam Bam]

I'm glad you had a good time. Yeah. And I'm glad you had a good time. Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

And your presence was missed. Oh, Black Effects Podcast festival this year.

[Tam Bam]

Next year we will do it.

[AJ Holiday]

They have it in Charlotte.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's what I was about to say. They should do it in Charlotte. Charlotte would be the perfect place.

[AJ Holiday]

Houston, I mean, like black. Another black city where we know people will fly in, you know what I'm saying? For an event.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Houston sound like a vibe to me, too. Yes, but no more Atlanta. I even go to New York, but just no more Atlanta. No, no shade to y'. All. We love y' all, too, but we just don't want to come there every year for the festival. Let's get in the sand.

[AJ Holiday]

What we got going on? I came across this. You know, I really don't know who this comedian is, but the thing that his. That his ex wife said kind of threw me off that he basically actually what he said. So this is it. Says Houston influencer known as Nikki Influence is calling out her ex husband, comedian Uncle Stanley Joe Stone. Stanley Starks. Do you know who that is? After she posted videos from their past relationship showing violent incidents. The two were together for 20 years. Nearly 20, 20 years she's been speaking out about what she says happened behind closed doors and footage she shares. Nikki says that Joe kicked her and punched her in the face during an altercation. She also say police recalled to the scene at the time. The video is quickly started circulating online with many reacting strongly to what was shown after facing backlash. Uncle Stanley Joel sarcastically responded with the video apology. He acknowledged his behavior seen in the clips, but said that that reflects on who he was about three years ago, insisting that he has since changed. He also claimed Nikki may be posting the footage because she wants the version of him he is today, adding that he doesn't feel he can be this. His positive self when he. When it comes to her. That's interesting. And that shit pissed me off a little bit. Right.

[Tam Bam]

We do.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, I do feel like. Like, so in one of my last relationships, I do feel like we just didn't bring out the best in each other.

[Tam Bam]

And that's possible.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. So that that person. He might have been busting her up and probably would never put his hands on somebody else. I don't know what the dynamic would have. Why you felt the need to put your hands on a woman who is, you know, just physically less, you know, not as strong as a man. Like. Right, okay, right. To say that she just, you know, she just wants the man he is today. I'm pretty sure she fucking would prefer that, especially if she was with you for 20 years. She didn't want to leave.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

And we really usually only need one reason to stay.

[Tam Bam]

But who want their ass beat over and over again? Like, that video was heartbreaking. Watching her get whooped up around that island when he was whipping her ass all up and down there was on. That was on a trip.

[AJ Holiday]

You said, oh, I've been down the island. Like, the kitchen.

[Tam Bam]

In the kitchen.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm like, wait, they was on a trip in that video. Why is that mad on vacation?

[Tam Bam]

Like, what, Go crazy around that island? This is very sad, but have you ever met someone who's always with someone that's violent?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. I know a few girls, women who. I just feel like their whole life they have been in domestic violence situations. And it's the weirdest shit to me.

[Tam Bam]

How does that end up happening, though? Like, I knew this girl, she was always posting a different nigga that had hit her that she was dating. It's like, how do you keep on ending up with men? It's got to be like something psychological happened there, right? Like, you attract abusers.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Is that a thing?

[AJ Holiday]

I feel like who get beat and that beat, they just somehow find each other and they just do the things.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know why. I wanna. I wanna laugh at that, but it's not funny.

[AJ Holiday]

That's the truth. Like, it's just, you know, because, you know, they're not gonna go to somebody who they deem like, has like a strong personality who's not like a. An abuser. Right. They usually pick women who are already weak in some way. Right. Maybe like, you know, mentally. You know, mentally weak or whatever. But I can't. I can't imagine that these women are just provoking these men to beat their ass.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Dude, you in a relationship with. How are you with these fragile ass men that can take words or. Women do hit men a lot, right? So maybe it's a situation where she can't keep her hand off of people. I'm not talking about this person in particular, but I'm talking about, like, just women. Women gotten beat up and he just wins.

[Tam Bam]

I definitely used to hit my. I don't do that no more. I don't do that no more. But I used to get mad and strike nine.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, you know how you. You know how you, like, swing, but you don't feel like, oh, oh, that type of before?

[Tam Bam]

Well, I done hit a. With a. Like a code killer. Say, man, because sometimes that's not. I'm sorry, y'. All. That sounds so terrible. But it was because I was just so angry. But I'm a better person now.

[AJ Holiday]

Sometimes them words don't work, girl. You gotta give a. On the job training. It's just ojt. It's like they don't understand until you hit them. And it's. It is bad, right? But I, like, the only times I have hit a guy. I remember the first time I hit a dude is because I would. I'm in a whole, like, triangle between you, you, you and your baby mama. You know what I'm saying? So now I'm over here, I don't got no kids. I don't have that family dynamic at my house. I'm a single woman. As far as I'm concerned, you feel like you can pull up on my. I can't pull up at your right. So I opened my door because you popping up at my apartment. And when I open a door, I punched him in the face because we had already been arguing. What? We was already arguing. Arguing. And you didn't allow me time to really calm down. Like, I hang up on you. The next thing I know, my doorbell ringing. Like, yeah. And I looked through the people, I saw it was him. And I opened the door and punched him in his face. Because really, that's how I was feeling on the phone. You didn't allow me time to calm down. And I can't pull up at your shit where you live at with your baby mama and. And. And try to reconcile with you.

[Tam Bam]

Right? Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You can't do that over here. So you have to violate him. Sorry, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. We at. We talk back.

[AJ Holiday]

Do not lie. Like, at some point in Life, I was hands and feet.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. But now, now, now we've seen the era of our ways and we don't promote or condone any type of violence. Zero percent male or female. All right, next topic. So Tennessee woman sues Mercedes Benz dealership after employee allegedly took her car without permission for his date night while. While it was getting repaired. So this woman drops off her car to get it repaired because she put some bad gas. So something going on with the gas tank. She gets a notification at like 10 o' clock at night that her car is on the other side of town. And she's thinking like, maybe it's just like a malfunction on the sensors. But then she gets another notification at like 12:30 at night on Saturday night that it's somewhere else. And she looked up the location. It's like a bar. So she's like, ain't no fucking way. So she catches a Uber to the restaurant, the bar, and sees her car out there. So she uses her spare key and she sits in the car. And then she calls the police. The police comes and there's a jacket. He left his coat in the car.

[AJ Holiday]

His jacket, I seen it.

[Tam Bam]

His passport was in the car. So they went inside and found him. And he said that they do this all the time at the dealership.

[AJ Holiday]

But the kick is she had been waiting for her car as if it wasn't ready, right? Meanwhile, this person is putting hella mileage on her.

[Tam Bam]

Hanging out with, taking on. Yeah, I'm gonna pull up in the bins, baby.

[AJ Holiday]

And she have no regular bins. Like, right? Like some amg.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, some nice. Some flash it. So. So he out gallivanting her. So he gets arrested. She's like, I want to press charges. She calls the dealership. He said the dealership told him he could do it. They called it. She calls the dealership, the dealership, says, the police called the dealership. They said, no, we did not authorize that. But then they try to press her to like drop the charges. So I really believe that they were allowing it.

[AJ Holiday]

So I understand, like fixing someone's car and then driving it to determine if the repair is good or not.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But you taking bitches on dates, it's crazy. Well, I guess she would have had other alerts if the car was moved, you know, more than that time. But, yeah, like that is. That is not acceptable.

[Tam Bam]

No, that's a violation.

[AJ Holiday]

What if she would have. What if, you know. And also he was intoxicated, right?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah, exactly. You drunk. You might have been fingering I'm the only person who. In my car, girl.

[AJ Holiday]

Now you think, what?

[Tam Bam]

Like, I just. What? You know, you violate in my car.

[AJ Holiday]

I might try to a small ash.

[Tam Bam]

Little amg. You can do it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like a little. It was like a little tutor. Yeah, that's. That's wild, man. He need his. He needs ass beat, actually.

[Tam Bam]

And they were like, oh, he's a good kid. Don't do this to him. Don't do this to him. Don't do this to me.

[AJ Holiday]

Right? He did it to himself.

[Tam Bam]

Right? I think y' all did it to him because y' all was letting them do that. Forgetting that some people actually have notifications on their car. Stupid. So.

[AJ Holiday]

Dun, dun, dun, dun. Okay. While we're at the Black Effect Podcast Festival, Meg, thee stallion was dropping bombs.

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[Public Advertiser]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto, and now generated assets, which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI, it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index, and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures

[Kal Penn]

hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like, okay, yo yo yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Redfin Advertiser]

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[AJ Holiday]

LaRosa does not play the fucking radio when it comes to this journalism, okay? Because she was hosting. How are you hosting and simultaneously checking with your resources Checking your sources, see what the is going on with Magda Stallion and also posting, you know, step by step, what happened. Yeah. Sources close to Magnus dying. You know how she. Yeah. Wow.

[Tam Bam]

Working.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm like, this girl does not play.

[Tam Bam]

She don't play. No play the piano.

[AJ Holiday]

Outwork Lauren LaRosa. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Cut out.

[Tam Bam]

She's out there with her gown on. Please don't play with her.

[AJ Holiday]

Right.

[Tam Bam]

Doing the. Getting the story. Correct.

[AJ Holiday]

So Meg thee stallion tweets cheating. Had me around your whole family playing house. Got cold feet is what he told her. Holding you down through all your horrible mood swings and treating and treatment towards me during your basketball season. Now you don't know if you can be monogamous. Bitch. I need a real break after this one by y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

This is what Meg thee stallion tweeted on Saturday. And so apparently, Klay Thompson cheated on Meg thee stallion. And I. I mean, based on his track history, like, I track, I believe he's cheated on the women he's been in relationships with. They may not have put him on. Matter of fact, somebody else did put him on blast before. Somebody else?

[Tam Bam]

Coco Jones. Did she not?

[AJ Holiday]

No, it was someone else that put him on blast. I don't know, though. It's just a men response to this. It's like they just hate Meg thee stallion so bad.

[Tam Bam]

It's like they want Clay for themselves or something. That's what it's g. Like y' all just want y' all chance.

[AJ Holiday]

They were real mad having a conversation with somebody at the podcast festival, and he was saying, like, he doesn't even understand how a. Like, Clay could even pull Mega Stallion. I was like, I don't know how he. How Meg the stallion pulled him. Right. Just not even knowing who he is from real.

[Redfin Advertiser]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Just looking at the two of them, it just looked to me that she was trying something different. She's already been with the. The. The bad guy, the bad boys or whatever. And maybe in her mind, because of his aesthetic, he was a Russell Wilson type.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

I think that was.

[Tam Bam]

She thought she was getting her Russell. That's what we need to talk about today. Let's talk about you thought. You thought you was getting Russell.

[AJ Holiday]

Thou art not. Russell was.

[Tam Bam]

We'll be right back, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

We gonna get into it.

[AJ Holiday]

All right. So y' all we back and we know, like, the Russell Wilson is like, he's like this archetype, right? So, for example, Sierra had a baby for future. Sierra used to with low Bow Wow, Jesus Christ. And whoever else had a baby for future. I think most people will agree that future and Russell Wilson are polar. Yes. Opposites. Polar opposites. Right. So I think even people think Sierra doesn't deserve a Russell Wilson. Even though like she has built a whole family and probably in counting, she probably pregnant right now again.

[Tam Bam]

Right, Exactly.

[AJ Holiday]

They're obviously supposed to be together because they are perfect mates. Right. But some, some men gave her a hard time when she got got with Russell Wilson. Like you're expected to never do better that part. Right. Or try to do better.

[Tam Bam]

And she was dating 50 cents. So she deserved. I know that was hard.

[AJ Holiday]

For real.

[Tam Bam]

Remember she was dating 50 and he made all them ugly posts about her on Twitter. This was a long time ago.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't remember that. Damn.

[Tam Bam]

She didn't have her fair share of. I don't want to call them, but

[AJ Holiday]

you know, so Klay Thompson. And I mean, this is why, you know, I just always go for what I like. Because I mean, will disappoint you regardless. Right? So now here you are trying to do something different. Right? I. I mean, I can't say that she, that he isn't her type, but based off of the guys that she was dating before, I would say no. Right.

[Tam Bam]

Even aesthetically, because yeah, it's like the swag ain't there. The, you know, that bad boy, that charm, he don't have that. Is he good looking? Yes. You think Russell Wilson is good looking?

[AJ Holiday]

He's like cute. I like. He like a puppy. I like that. Like puppies.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he's cute. All right, so let's talk about what is the Russell Wilson archetype anyway in our minds? Because we don't know who the that nigga is for real. He could be crazy as hell. She might come out with a surviving Russell, you know, you never know, right? But based on how they present, it's a man who's like faith forward, very vocal about God. I think that's important. Last guy I was dating, that's why we ended things, because he did not believe in God. I can't do that. I can't do it. I try.

[AJ Holiday]

I can't do that because I think sometimes like, how, how did he not believe in God to you? What was your perspective?

[Tam Bam]

He just used to. So at first I was like, if he may not, it's not just organized religion, right? So I can like, you know, that's okay. When I'm talking about, I'll say something about how good God is to me. And he like, oh, here you go. You and your sky daddy.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. Yeah, I do believe it's a Sky Daddy.

[Tam Bam]

I don't like that. Don't call my guy Sky Daddy. It's like a condescending, almost like you're stupid to believe in God kind of thing. And I just couldn't be with somebody who. I need someone who gonna pray with me, you know? So that was the deal breaker for me personally. All right, so then another characteristic, an intentional dater. He's marriage minded. He's not just casually out here getting you pregnant, sticking his hand.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, everybody meets his mama, right?

[Tam Bam]

And she nice to everybody. Financial, financially stable. He's a provider. He wants to provide, you know, publicly respectful to his partner. He's not out here embarrassing you and a different nigga with you, but someone totally different when he's by himself or with his friends. He's emotionally expressive, you know, someone who's not afraid to be soft. I like a guy who can be like, hard everywhere else but, like, soft and vulnerable with me.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you supposed to talk to women very nice. You're supposed to be real nice to women. Remember last week I was saying how my ex said I would stink after working hard for that nigga all day? And I'm like, there's a way to say that, right? Like, baby, I can't wait till we get home. I'm gonna wash your ass and I'm gonna eat it. You know what I'm saying? Like, that is a very nice way to tell your partner that they stink. Yeah, we can't wait until we can take a bath. Like, what the. So, yeah, so those are characteristics of a Russell Wilson archetype.

[Tam Bam]

I don't mind a telling me I'm stink, especially if I've been working. It's just the manner and you, what you say. If you say it like you gross by me, that's what pisses me off. Because I'm stank helping you.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I was cursing in the school. I mean, it was empty, but it was definitely echoing in the hallways.

[Tam Bam]

Well, I had. I didn't have a who love when I'm staying. He like, oh, yeah, come on.

[AJ Holiday]

They want it straight from the gym.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. So anyway,

[AJ Holiday]

I think sometimes women want those. That Russell Wilson type. Like, and we're just using him as the example, right? Because again, like, like Tam said, we don't really know how Russell is for real in a relationship. We can only see what we see from the outside and they seem happy. You know what I'm saying? I think that women want that, but sometimes we are not actually ready for that. Right. So now you want a man to. To. To have a man who is career driven. He's prioritizing, like marriage and that type of stuff. Usually it is aligned right with his spirituality. So now if you are a woman that doesn't like you, you are not whole yet, but you're looking for your partner to be whole.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

So it's not about you choosing somebody else. It's actually about you changing to attract that other thing. And Sierra, like, her prayer or whatever what it is, essentially that is her. That she manifested. Russell Wilson.

[Tam Bam]

Sierra pissed me off a little bit. I ain't gonna lie. Sierra kind of with that song she came out with. This is for the girls who don't need no man. This is for the girls that all that.

[AJ Holiday]

I didn't hear that.

[Tam Bam]

This was like one of their more recent songs about something. For the girls who don't need no man. I was so mad at her because, girl, you over there with that good ass man, talking about, shout out to the girls who don't need no man. What do you know about it?

[AJ Holiday]

But maybe, like, we don't know what's going on in their household. Maybe that was a shot at Russell Wilson. We will never know. Like, yeah, you better tighten up because I still don't need that. Like, maybe we don't know.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. That's the perspective. Because that had me tight. Like, girl.

[AJ Holiday]

Some lemonade.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Some Beyonce lemonade.

[Tam Bam]

That was my favorite album.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's actually, to me, one of her best albums. Yeah, the best album, actually, I think.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, me too. I love that album.

[AJ Holiday]

So maybe. Maybe that's what the type of time Sierra might have been on at that time. I don't know. But, you know, like, women sometimes say men are too nice. What do we mean by that, really?

[Tam Bam]

Because everybody likes a little chase, I think even women enjoy. I know I enjoy a little chase. If it's too easy, sometimes I'd be like, not into it. Which is toxic. I'm about to say. Not at this big age, but younger now. I just can't wait for a nice, decent man to come along.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I like my nervous system to be intact. I don't like surprises no more. I don't like feeling anxious. I don't like chasing the good times because that's really what keeps you wrapped up in these bad situations. Too fucking long you're waiting. I don't want my nervous system to, like, be fucked up because I think what keeps people in the bad relationships is that, like, let's say you have seven days In a week, you got four good day, four bad days, right? Three good days. Like, you're literally waiting on those three good days. But most of the days are terrible, right? So it's just like this. Like, your body's always in fight or flight, and then you're always chasing the high of the good times. That's what. That's like the toxicity that just keeps people wrapped up in the thing because, like, you know, it can be good. So you're looking for that little small good time, like a drug. Get the hell up out of there, okay? For you be 20 years getting beat up. Get out of there. Waiting for him to be a better man. Because this is why I always say, like, yeah, you could be a better man, but it's probably not going to be for me, right? You're gonna be a better man to the next woman because of the hurt you experience from me leaving your ass, right? You gonna make sure that never. That you never feel that thing again. So you're gonna do better in the next relationship. Confirm believer in giving a bitch a refurbished nigga.

[Tam Bam]

I don't like that. Treat that bitch the same way you treated me, nigga. Fuck out of here.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, it's like I said, sometimes people just don't bring out the best in each other. Like, y' all weren't supposed to be together. Maybe you forced the thing. So I think maybe Meg Thee stallion probably became a little bit different, right? You cooking Christmas and Thanksgiving for this man. Whole white family.

[Tam Bam]

I know they was enjoying that Lorries and

[AJ Holiday]

girl, right?

[Tam Bam]

But you know what? I bet she enjoyed that because she's lost both her parents. I don't think she has siblings. I never see her with no sibling. So being able to be like this matriarch figure in this family probably felt really, really good for her. So that's why it makes me sad that this happened to her, you know, because I wanted that to be her Russell Wilson so badly, you know? Did you not. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, didn't he buy her a house and all this stuff, like named a boat?

[Tam Bam]

And that's why I think, like, people were just trying to say, like, she was.

[AJ Holiday]

She was just something to play with.

[Tam Bam]

No, I think they both had very strong feelings for each other. I just think. I don't think if you. And this is me personally, my opinion, I don't think peace come with athletes like money, fame. But I don't think peace is one of the things that comes with them, you know? So you have to get to a regular dude like Meg Thee Stallion gonna have to get like a. Someone who's not an entertainer, a businessman, a doctor, someone who's not on the scene. And Clay need a woman who's not also, like, also probably would do better

[AJ Holiday]

with somebody like a, I don't know, a good, quiet, regular degular, right, who's

[Tam Bam]

gonna turn a blind eye to his because they want to keep their lifestyle. When you have a woman who can provide that same lifestyle for herself, you can't do that.

[AJ Holiday]

I think women do a good job at. You know how they always say, like men, women expect men to read their minds. I don't think that's true. And that, that, that care characteristic had been assigned to us since the beginning of time. But women will say what they want and need until they're blue in the face and they finally stop speaking. It is men whose minds you literally have to read. You never know what these niggas need or want because they're not going to say. So I think sometimes you're in relationships with men, they change their minds about you. He probably was all in for the first year or first few months, and then maybe he saw some shit he didn't like and instead of leaving the situation, he went outside of it to complete his happiness. That is the fuck shit that comes into play. Because I think a couple weeks ago I was talking about how I commented on something Duvall had posted online about and we had a whole episode about it. How men don't leave relationships, how they don't break up, or women think just because they don't cheat, right? That they are good, that they're a good woman. What do you need from the woman? You need to explicitly state to women that you are engaging with what you need. Now, if you are an impossible man and you cannot be satisfied, you need to be by your fucking self so you can fuck and do whatever you want to do with whoever you want to do with it. And stop putting women in these fake ass monogamous relationships when you know you're not capable multiple. You want multiple women and you could actually have that. If you get a woman that's she might the with you. But see, y' all want to put a. In a box.

[Tam Bam]

I have a friend, I have this homeboy in Miami and I like, I respect him. So, like, he's disgusting. Let me just say that he's a disgusting human being. He got all the like, is he show me like his holodecks. That's what I call it. Like all these pictures of women and it's like thousands, thousands of pictures. And he's a good looking, successful man. So he has his, he can have his way. And he was just on the phone telling with me that he feels like women don't want honesty. He said, we say that we do, but we don't. Because when men are honest with them, it don't never go well, you know? And then he feel like he can't even be himself with women because all these women, anytime they want to be in a relationship, it's never like nobody wants to just have fun instantly. They want him to be his man. And he's like, damn, those women are

[AJ Holiday]

tripping because the men are not going to settle down until they're absolutely ready. And then you have some fools that'll try to lock you in just to keep you right? And they still want to. They want, they. They will go out their way to get you back once you leave them, just so they can see what else you can take.

[Tam Bam]

But he like, he like really sweet and he like thoughtful, charismatic and charming and handsome and successful. And I'm like, you can't expect these women not to look at you and see you as a possible candidate to be a mate.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, but why, why when he ain't shit? Why are you looking at this fun boy as a possible mate? You are tripping as a woman. That is not somebody you want to have a child.

[Tam Bam]

But they don't know. They ain't seen them thousands of pictures. I seen them. So they don't know that that's.

[AJ Holiday]

So how is he telling women the truth then? I would think that he's showing everybody to Hodex if he's.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, no, I don't think, I don't think he's sharing that with these women. He shares that with me because we are homies. But I'm sure he would take me down too, you know, like, so that's not your friend? That is my friend for now. But can a man be like, kind, loving, charming and sweet with a woman but not want to be with them and just do that with several women and it be okay? Is that fucked up?

[AJ Holiday]

I guess it depends on how you're. If you're having sex with women, it depends on how you're having sex with them. You can say what you want to say, but actions speak louder than words. I've been in a situation like this. Like, I'm doing all the girlfriend boyfriend shit, but this person doesn't want the title of the thing. And then when I switch up and start acting like him, I'M going on dates. I'm finding somebody that I can, you know, be in a relationship with. Because I already understand. I don't. I don't hallucinate. So I already know. I can't get this from you. Now you feeling different because I'm doing me like, what do you want? So really, men just want you to be emotionally only tied to them. Why they. While they outside. Because if they knew 100 that you was with somebody else, they wouldn't want you anymore. That part even on. Even on some. Like, even on some friendship. That means some men, I don't.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. Because I'm about to say some men, they like that. Yeah. When they find out another. That's when they were trying to lock you down.

[AJ Holiday]

Want to see videos and all type of shit, girl. I had one like that too. Like, you want to see me getting smashed by somebody else? Are you okay?

[Tam Bam]

Right? And be real turned on by that.

[AJ Holiday]

I guess that's like how pimps are. Pimps, like, will marry the final bottom bitch. Like, when they finish pimping like, you done watch this lady smash everybody in the city. And they don't care about that. Right. They don't care about super body count. They don't care.

[Tam Bam]

And that's wild because you put me into that body count. Yikes on bikes. Are you a Sierra? What does that mean?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. Because the world was mad when Ciara was twerking at the. Was it like the after party for the Met Gala or something? It was something. One year it was her and like, was it Nimani?

[Tam Bam]

They were having a good time.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Oh, she. Look at Sierra. She's still a chicken. I had. I got into an argument with a friend at the time about that. I'm like, girl, they still be regular people. And I'm liable to be liable to be twerking if I got a kid and husband at the house and I'm

[Tam Bam]

having a good time.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Damn. You can't let your wig back at

[AJ Holiday]

all with these Sierra twerking. And it's probably somebody literally at the same party sniffing coke off a table somewhere.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

She's just twerking some of the ancestors. Like, what's wrong with that?

[Tam Bam]

Exactly. I agree. It's just so much judgment. That's why I say just do whatever make you happy. Because some. You're gonna piss somebody off no matter what it is. Like, if you twerking. And like, look at her, She's a slut. Twerking all over the place. If you not? Oh, she thinks she's a rain dance.

[AJ Holiday]

Either be trying to rain money rain or like rain rain. But regardless, it's a rain dance, right? So I asked you earlier what is like a nice guy? I think sometimes people. People consider nice guys, like, lame. I think Meg thee stallion probably thought she was getting a lame corny ass dude.

[Tam Bam]

I think she did. Just because he. Just because he cheated on her don't make him not lame and corny. You know what I'm saying? Like, you just hope the lame corny ones ain't gonna do. It's worse when a lame corny one do you like that. Like, you wasn't even my type.

[AJ Holiday]

And that's why you should always go for your type. Because then you understand why the nigga playing in your face like, ain't nothing worse than choosing a nigga that you know you ain't. You don't even fuck with like that and they still play in your face. That shit is. That shit fuck with your self esteem.

[Tam Bam]

But sometimes your type be the worst thing for you, though.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what I'm saying. You got to change you if you want something different. It's really not about the other people. It is totally about you. Because this nice guy won't be lame to you once you have rid your body of needing the toxicity that comes with a future.

[Tam Bam]

I'm just saying, like, sometimes be lame. It ain't got nothing to do with like, toxicity shoe. Why your shoestrings so tight? They can loosen up them goddamn shoestrings.

[AJ Holiday]

God damn. You know you get 45, 50. Well, I don't even want to say that old. 35, 35, 40, 40. We want the lamest possible with a little bit of swag and dick and money. And we get like the. Just. Them standards, they don't. The standards really don't get low. But you, you know, you kind of

[Tam Bam]

flex them a little different. Exactly what matters most.

[AJ Holiday]

Mm.

[Tam Bam]

Cause them cool niggas just don't come with no peace. They just don't.

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[Kal Penn]

hey everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary Massive Sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like, okay, yo yo yo, is this in the indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Redfin Advertiser]

Let's talk about modern home shopping. It's sort of become a fun side hobby, right? Scrolling listings at night, dreaming about kitchens you've never seen or backyards you haven't even stepped foot in. All from the comfort of pretty much anywhere. Redfin knows a lot of people like you want to own but are stuck in this browsing mode loop. That's where Redfin flips the script. With listings that update within minutes and tours you can book right from the Redfin app, you can see your dream home the moment it appears. Now, liking a listing is easy, but actually landing it, that's where Redfin comes in. Redfin has over 2200 agents with local expertise, and Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents. That means they want to help you win. Not just window shop. Redfin is built to help you go from just looking to wait. This could actually be home. So become the newest neighbor on the block. Visit redfin.com to start finding and start owning. That's redfin.com.

[AJ Holiday]

Would you date a Russell Wilson in progress?

[Tam Bam]

What does that mean?

[AJ Holiday]

That's like, he's still building the career, still building the money. You know, maybe he's like, you know, working on himself. Maybe he has some spirituality. Maybe he just started going to church. I don't. I mean, yeah, you don't never have to go to church.

[Tam Bam]

I'm down with someone who's doing the things to make themselves better. You know, if I can see a person actively chasing growth and a better version of themselves, I'm all about that. But it just gotta. It just depends on where the starting point is. Like

[AJ Holiday]

100,000. I don't know. I think there are a lot of good guys out here, but we probably overlook them because aesthetically, they are not what we want. Right? My homegirls, who already got kids, they love ugly. Love, like, you know, like ugly ugly. I'm not talking about like medium or somebody that looks good to you. They don't give a damn what a nigga look like. You know, like, face wise, if I

[Tam Bam]

gotta kiss you, I can't have no Frankenstein. I'm about to come. I can't have that nigga over me, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Drooling and sweating on you.

[Tam Bam]

Chain busting you in the chin.

[AJ Holiday]

No, that, and I'm just not that selfish to do that to my kid. Like, you know, I'm already funny looking. Like, what the. I'm not about to have my kid come out here looking like her daddy. Like, I'm not doing that to my baby. So, yeah, I. I like somebody. They. They have to definitely, definitely be aesthetically pleasing to me.

[Tam Bam]

But have you ever had someone who wasn't as aesthetically pleasing at first to you, but they started to soften up and look more attractive because of who they were versus how they looked? I've had that.

[AJ Holiday]

I feel like I do see people spirit and soul first, so that's never a thing. But I'll make you look how I need you to look. Like, I'm buy you the shit. I'mma do, like, the little tweaking. Hey, baby. My nigga got a whole beard now that he did not have when we met. Okay. Like, he had one, but it wasn't, like, full. Now he got the full beard, and, like, his hairline is great. So you just have to just do the little. Because sometimes what I do know is, like, a lot of men don't. They just don't know how to do until they get a woman.

[Tam Bam]

It's the black girl effect.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. They just, you know, they go to work all day.

[Tam Bam]

Some guys don't want to do, though.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you got to be willing. I remember he was like, I don't give a. What I be putting on. If you don't like something I got on, just let me know and then we could change it up. Like, he's, you know, he's malleable. If I have somebody like that who doesn't care, like, if I get you something, you're gonna wear the things. Like, I don't mind doing that. It's actually fun.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, that's fun. But ain't nothing worse than a guy that won't let you fix them right. I know that sounds awful, but, like,

[AJ Holiday]

they don't take your input. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, most men. I think most men gonna let you fix them.

[Tam Bam]

Like, one of the guys thing going on right between his eyebrows, that was like. I don't know if that was like a fungus or something. I don't know what was going on right there, but it would, like, erupt every now and then, and it'd be like. And I bought him some expensive skincare so he could fix that, and he refused to use this. And that just be like climbing in his eyebrows and. And then going like, no, I'm not

[AJ Holiday]

with you no more.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, Like, I can't do it.

[AJ Holiday]

Growth come out between your dad? No, he's just. Now you're just being nasty.

[Tam Bam]

Like, I brought you something to help that and you just refuse to use it. He like, I'm a man. I just use Irish Spring. That's it.

[AJ Holiday]

First of all, Irish Spring. Irish Springs is tearing your skin up. That shit is full of chemicals, and you probably still ain't even getting that clean. Get that nigga a white wash rag. You probably just need to use a white washcloth right there and exfoliate really well.

[Tam Bam]

That ain't my nigga no more, so.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, yeah. Like, yeah, you have to be. And I'll. And I'll do little tweaking of things, right? If it's something that my man wants. Now, bitch, right now my hair is 2 inches long. I'm not wearing it outside. Don't talk to me about shit, okay? Don't talk to me about hair. And that's one thing. Don't talk to me about here, because I always. This is a disclosure. When I meet a. I wear weave all the time. If you do not like weave, you have to go get you somebody who doesn't wear weave. That is a disclosure, okay? So don't come over here and trying to be in a relationship with me and then slowly trying to picture and change.

[Tam Bam]

Right now you walking around with a Jerry curl. What happened to aj

[AJ Holiday]

because you could have gotten exactly what you wanted.

[Tam Bam]

You chose to come over here with

[AJ Holiday]

me, and now you harassing me about this weave that you liked when I first started on your ass, right? Don't do me like that. So. Wait, are you Sierra?

[Tam Bam]

That's what I was about to say.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Who is they? I don't know who Sierra is. Just a regular woman. Right? I do think Sierra is more faith driven right now, and that's probably how she attracted her husband and whatever that is. Like, we don't know exactly. I don't never really. Does Russell Wilson, like, you know, talk about Jesus a lot. I don't know what their religion is, really.

[Tam Bam]

I don't. I don't think. Because I don't know shit about Ciara or Russell for real. But when it. When. When I see this question, I feel like, is it. It's asking, like, are you ready for the type of man that you want? Say you want, like, am I emotionally available sometimes? Do you respect consistency over excitement?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Yes, I do. Then it says, can you handle structured discipline in leadership? That discipline word kind of.

[AJ Holiday]

And I think that, okay, I know I am not disciplined. I talk about it a lot, and it is tough if you are not a disciplined person and you're in a relationship with somebody who is disciplined. Now, this is where that person. Leadership skills has to show up in a way that's not, like, demeaning.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

My ex, one of my exes, he was very disciplined. Go to sleep. You know, I had to get off the phone at a certain time.

[Tam Bam]

I gotta go to bed. I couldn't talk no more.

[AJ Holiday]

Turn the TV off and turn the light off of my ass quick. And then be mad if I go downstairs and be down there like he wanted me to. And I mean. And it's important. You know what I'm saying? It is. It is important. Because if you want to be somebody different or you want to, you know, you want to do something different, you have to be somebody you've never been. You have to do things you've never done. So if you have somebody in your life that is more disciplined than you, that should be, like, a good thing. But it's a way to. He just did not fucking know how to talk to me. Like, he just was not a good manager.

[Tam Bam]

But it says, can you handle discipline? When I think about that, I don't know. For some. For some reason, it feels, like, stuffy. It feels like somebody tried to tell

[AJ Holiday]

me what the fuck to do. Y' all say y' all want men to lead, y', all, but you have to fucking listen to the man if he's leading.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, like, you can't. You can't say you want, you want.

[Tam Bam]

I want a leader, but I don't want to be disciplined because I'm not your child, you know? Like, I don't know something about that word. I mean, I had to unpack that with my therapist or something, because something about the word discipline sounds like condescending to me for whatever reason, really.

[AJ Holiday]

So when I think about it, I just think about, like, the things that I struggle to do with. Do every day. Every day. Right. I struggle to get up at a decent time. I struggle to work out every day like I say I want to do. Right. I struggle to do the things I say I want to do because I know it is going to get me to a better place. Imagine you have a partner who doesn't struggle with those things, and all you got to do is be a partner.

[Tam Bam]

Well, I think when you have a partner that doesn't. It makes it so much easier to just fall in alignment.

[AJ Holiday]

That's what I'm saying. And I can fall in the line with it. But when you talking to me crazy to do it.

[Tam Bam]

No, but I just think about. Yeah. When I think about someone disciplining me, like, who the you talking to. So I don't know. I don't know.

[AJ Holiday]

And see, that's the thing, right? So now you may not be ready for marriage and parts of me is not ready for marriage because there is some tweaking of who you are because you're not supposed to be you no more. Both of you are supposed to be different. So yes, you do want somebody that you know loves who you are. Absolutely right. But both of you, you come together so you're supposed to be one now. You're not supposed to just be two completely complete individuals. And that is where I struggle because you know how I always be saying I want to be single in a relationship. It's not real. It's not a thing that you can actually. I mean you could. There's some men be single in relationships all the time, but it's just shutting upon as a woman. But yeah, you have to, you're not going to be the same. Neither one of you are supposed to be the same. It's supposed to be a new thing. So in order to create that, y' all have to. You have to. There's alignment. There's an alignment that has to happen. And this is where a lot of times women lose themselves to men. We lose ourselves because we get on their program. Now if you with somebody that has an ill program, okay, this program ain't.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I did. That's how I gained all that weight with that young eating. I like, I haven't eaten Taco Bell in 20 years. I started hanging with this little Y in now at getting Doritos local tacos. Them shit is busting too.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, my program is, you come over here, we're not eating beef and stuff. I got a program too, but my program is good though. It's not like it's not harmful to the other person. Like, so I, I want somebody whose program isn't going to be harmful and it's going to make me better.

[Tam Bam]

Better. Yeah. But I don't want nobody telling me when the I can go to sleep, you know, like, right. I don't want that. I go to sleep when I get good and damn ready because I'm an adult, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, but do you think you should go to sleep earlier?

[Tam Bam]

Sometimes and sometimes not. It just depends because I'm a adult,

[AJ Holiday]

you know, like stay your ass single, then

[Tam Bam]

tell me when you go to bed.

[AJ Holiday]

Simple as change. I knew I needed to go to bed. I knew I shouldn't be up in the dark scrolling, but it would just be my Mind going and going and going. Like I just. Men just fall asleep so easy and quick. I've never been with it with a man who I went to sleep before. They all go to sleep so early and I just think, I don't know, our bodies are wired different. I think for women because I'm more.

[Tam Bam]

I'm more nocturnal, you know, so I'm a nocturnal person. So don't try to make me go to bed at 9 o'. Clock. This will never work. This will never work. If you want me to go to bed at 9, right? No, don't tell me to do that. So God ain't through with me yet. All right, so let's play a game. Are we going to try this game? I guess because it's saying Russell Wilson, regular dude. He is a regular dude as far

[AJ Holiday]

as I'm concerned, you know, he's very regular.

[Tam Bam]

So.

[AJ Holiday]

And Russell. The thing is Russell Wilson could have been a fuck nigga to someone else. He chose to be Russell Wilson to Ciara. So that's the other thing. You have to get somebody who's ready and aligned with what you want because you are not going to get a Russell Wilson out of future. I don't think in this lifetime will future be Russell Wilson.

[Tam Bam]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

Like at this point, 1112 kids in like, I don't give a fuck. But listen, I'll try next time, the next lifetime. I know that's how he just like, you know it is. He's who he is, right? Any woman who chooses to fudge with him knows exactly what he.

[Tam Bam]

What you get.

[AJ Holiday]

Right? So Sierra had his, what, ninth kid or something? Eighth kid. Whatever. Whatever number she was, she had no business. If you wanted a Russell Wilson at any point in life, you had no business fucking with future.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

That is a big difference.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I don't want nobody that got no eight kids. That's a lot to see.

[AJ Holiday]

The thing with me is that if you got eight kids and they all went to Ivy League school schools, I might, I might be like, if you

[Tam Bam]

got eight kids, who you talking about, cuz? This old as hell. If all your kids went to Ivy League schools.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, well, the oldest ones, the older ones, right? He does have like a younger one. This is somebody I used to know, girl.

[Tam Bam]

No, I do not.

[AJ Holiday]

I was thinking about it at one point because I don't. And I think I said this before too. Is it not something. I don't know if it's like an animalistic instinct type thing that makes a man with kids more appealing because just take away like the morals and all that stuff. Right? Just think about it on a. Think about it on a strict animal like animal, animal kingdom. This man is a producer. This man can produce children like this. That is like what a woman is supposed to do. You're supposed to find the best suitable mate to procreate.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Right. And there's a lot of things, because we're human, right? In this life, it costs a lot. Like, there's a lot of things that comes with being a human human that we have to consider so many things. But I think there's an animal, like an innate thing that makes men who have children, multiple children, probably multiple women, more attractive than a Russell Wilson who has no kids, seemingly lame. Right. We know black people in particular. Lot of cool niggas. Right. It's just something about them. And I just think we just. We don't think that deep. Right. It was something attractive about future to see.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Until you baby mama nine.

[AJ Holiday]

Right? And then now you're not just considering you anymore. Now you considering you plus this little person.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

And now you have to.

[Tam Bam]

The blinders have come off. Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

But yeah, like, it was a point where I was like, maybe I could have this nigga's kid because I know I'll be taken care of.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Yolo, you know? Yeah, but no. Yeah, but no. Then you come to your senses. But yeah. Are we. Are we playing a game? No, I don't want to play no.

[Tam Bam]

Damn. No. That game's stupid.

[AJ Holiday]

And don't play a game with these lame ass, man.

[Tam Bam]

Don't let them play a game with you.

[AJ Holiday]

That part, I think. I mean, we don't beat the dead horse. I think my last. Last in this situation is. And I. I probably said it a. You know, in this conversation. It is not about you finding something different. It's about you changing into something different to attract that. Right. Because you cannot be trying to attract somebody that has all these different things that you are not.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

You got to be who you. Who you want to be. You have to be who you want.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Who you want to be with.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I agree.

[Tam Bam]

So my last. Last is. Y' all can't. Y' all can't lock me into one for the last decade. Y' all can't pinpoint it. Like, stop telling your business. You don't have to post every person on social media. You can take these L's in private. You can, like, it could be great in private. And then you can take the L in private. Nobody has to know. You can't tell me that Laura London ain't smashing nobody. You can't tell me that Vanessa Bryant ain't getting them legs pushed back yet, okay?

[AJ Holiday]

It's been years, Laura London.

[Tam Bam]

Okay? Exactly. So keep your business to yourself so you don't have to suffer public embarrassment. And even on a small scale in your local community, because we be seeing y' all with these niggas and then all of a sudden he missing. We wouldn't know what can happen. Like, we see all them pictures now. He just gone, bitch, what happened? So just keep your shit to yourself, and then you don't have to worry about it.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I'm sorry to go back, one thing we missed. What was the shit with Glorilla laughing? Did you see that? People were talking about her? Like, laughing, possibly. Or insinuating that she was laughing at Meg thee stallion.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, no, I missed that. Hold on. While she finding that, Nia Long said, eat it and sign it. That's what I'm talking about. Keep your facts to yourself, right? It ain't nobody business.

[AJ Holiday]

And then you won't have, like, Cameron lining your. Lining your bodies up. And they never do it to men. They never do it to men. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, he's been with the same amount of women that she's been with in the last decade.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

But nobody's counting the bodies men have, right? So this thing is saying that Glorilla did shade. I don't know how, though. Shades. Meg thee stallion. All she posted was your problematic faves. Yeah, but all she did was post laughing emojis. I don't know. Maybe people reaching and they didn't stretch first. I don't know. Anyway, y', all, if y' all saw some with. With about Glorilla, like, coming from megastallion or laughing at her pain. I mean, they probably both on the same dock.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Both pulling up at the same dock. Don't know yet. So if that. If she did laugh at Meg thee stallion, don't be laughing at other people. Pay, man, because your time might come up.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, your time is coming if it ain't already came.

[AJ Holiday]

Everybody.

[Tam Bam]

Everybody get a turn.

[AJ Holiday]

Isn't she pregnant? People are speculating that, girl.

[Tam Bam]

This episode is over. Let's go.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, that was that stupid Internet news or dumb story because at least Meg did not get pregnant.

[Tam Bam]

I'm proud of you for this.

[AJ Holiday]

Right? Anyway, y', all, I don't know. Shoot for the stars, get what you like. Okay? So you feel good about it at the end of the day when the do up. At least don't go for no ugly when you like. Fine. Aim for the stars, girl. All right.

[Tam Bam]

I already do my last life.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y'. All. If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick a Tam, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. It's official Tam Bam on Instagram. I love y' all so very, very much. I really, really, truly appreciate each and every last one of y' all for tuning in and listen to us talk every week. We know about some we don't, but we gonna talk to y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

Damn. They didn't talk about so right.

[Tam Bam]

But y' all are here with us, so we appreciate that y'. All. Follow me on Instagram. Official Tan Bam follow. We Talk Back podcast on Instagram. Y' all remember Speak now.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know, man. And.

[Tam Bam]

And.

[AJ Holiday]

And never hold a no.

[Tam Bam]

Sometimes you just need to hold your peace. Shut up. Keep your to yourself. Right, this is. Bye.

[AJ Holiday]

We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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[Tam Bam]

Oh, no.

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[Tam Bam]

What do you mean?

[AJ Holiday]

People hate the sound of chewing.

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[Tam Bam]

So tasty.

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

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