Would You Ratherthon

Summary

We Talk Back – "Would You Ratherthon"

Date: December 4, 2025
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Podcast Network: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this lively and unfiltered episode, TamBam and AJ Holiday host a "Would You Ratherthon," where the duo tackles a rapid-fire series of “Would you rather?” questions, mostly centered on relationships, money, self-care, and personal growth. True to the show’s form, the conversation is raw, comedic, and peppered with personal anecdotes. Interspersed with their signature repartee, the hosts reflect on life lessons, community activism, femininity, cultural expectations, and the realities of Black womanhood. This episode highlights the hosts’ knack for infusing humor into thought-provoking discussions about sex, relationships, money, societal double standards, and self-worth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. AJ's Community Recognition & Nonprofit Work

Timestamps: 03:21–08:55

• Charleston Proclamation:
  AJ shares her recent honor—a community service and cultural awareness proclamation day from the city of Charleston, recognizing her for amplifying Black women's voices and promoting mental health, empowerment, and social awareness.

  • “Co-host of the nationally recognized We Talk Back podcast... a media leader whose work amplifies the voices of African American women and promotes authentic dialogue about mental health, empowerment, and social awareness.” —Read by AJ [05:26]

• Launching Mummy's House:
  AJ details her new nonprofit, “Mummy’s House,” an alternative for pregnant girls seeking an option besides abortion—a place to live and finish school. She draws on her own teenage pregnancy experience and discusses the city's lack of support for the homeless.

• Reflection on Choices:
  AJ recounts her personal story of being a pregnant teenager, kicked out by her mother unless she had an abortion, and the complex, lifelong emotional impact of that experience.

  • “Have your baby, girl, it'll be all right. I got $5 for you... Non-profits, we don't get donations, right? There are organizations out there that can help.” —AJ [13:52]

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2. Abortion & Societal Pressures

Timestamps: 08:55–15:28

• Nuanced Conversation:
  The hosts candidly discuss the emotional depth and societal perception of abortion, including stories of judgement, regret, and the cultural practice of making light of a deeply personal subject.

  • “A lot of women have abortions because they sacrifice the baby for their future. It's an actual sacrifice.” —AJ [14:32]

• Social Media Outrage:
  AJ highlights a viral moment where a woman twerked outside an abortion clinic post-procedure, challenging the appropriateness and sensitivity of such public displays.

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3. Relationship Drama & Lessons

Timestamps: 19:06–28:24

• Public Relationship Fallout:
  The hosts dissect the recent online confession by Rashida Nicole, who is publicly dealing with divorce and pregnancy alone after previously mocking her husband's former partner—highlighting the cycle of “the other woman” syndrome and the lie women tell themselves about being better than the last partner.

  • “Women lie and tell themselves that they're better than the next woman... Let that man go be with his type.” —AJ [20:12]

• Friendship Betrayal in Pop Culture:
  Discussion around Funky Dineva publicly exposing Tamar Braxton and Mendici's alleged affair, and the consequences of friends airing private matters following a fallout.

  • “If we fall out, that's fine. But airing all my dirty laundry out for the public, that's fucked up.” —TamBam [24:59]

• Men and Emotional Health:
  AJ muses about male friendships, caddiness, and how some men can be just as (or more) gossipy as women, challenging stereotypes about male silence.

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4. Celebrity Lawsuits & Social Media

Timestamps: 28:29–31:46

• Megan Thee Stallion Defamation Suit:
  The hosts react to the federal judge tossing out Megan Thee Stallion’s defamation case against Milagro for not following proper notification protocols for media defendants, comparing it to Cardi B’s suit against Tasha K and discussing the limits of gossip about celebrities.

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5. Would You Ratherthon: Comedic & Candid Choices

Timestamps: 36:15–66:31

Top Scenarios & Commentary:

• Privacy vs. Publicity in Relationships:
  “Would you rather date a man who posts you or one who posts everything, including your arguments?”
  Both choose privacy, agreeing social media brings unnecessary drama. [37:02–37:34]

• Money for Bills vs. Vacations:
  TamBam chooses unlimited bill money for peace of mind; AJ wants vacation funds for luxury, but concedes security is important. [39:09–40:04]

• Texting Habits:
  Given a choice between a fast, lying texter or a slow, honest one, both value truth and patience, with TamBam noting she’s not pressed for instant replies. [40:12–42:01]

• Childhood Household Chores:
  Lighthearted complaints about growing up washing dishes vs. folding laundry, using childhood stories to explain their preferences. [42:25–44:13]

• Gift-Giving vs. Apologizing:
  Faced with men who either buy gifts or just apologize but never change, both would rather get the gifts than empty apologies if the behavior isn’t changing anyway. [47:51–48:26]

• Body Rewind:
  Both would rather have their teenage metabolism back than deal with knee pain. “I never had no good knees... Metabolism been slow as hell.” —AJ [48:38]

• Dating Scenarios:
  Preference is given to men with no kids over three baby mamas, though with some reservations; AJ shares stories about a former partner who had red flags like no kids, no headboard, and not sharing food. [51:23–54:46]

• Job Passion vs. Pay:
  Both women would choose a job they love that pays average money over one they hate for high pay, citing the importance of peace over wealth. [54:56–55:34]

• Phone Habits:
  They’d prefer a man who keeps his phone face down over one who answers calls during sex—“Don't answer no calls having sex with me, weird!” —TamBam [55:57–56:09]

• Omitting Truth vs. Lying:
  Both said omitting the truth is still lying, but it's preferable to a chronic liar who only confesses when caught. [56:30–57:08]

• On Accountability:
  “People don’t take accountability because they don’t agree with your perspective...You can only hold yourself accountable.” —AJ [57:10–58:28]

• Funny or Offbeat Hypotheticals:
  Would you rather fight a horse-sized duck or 50 duck-sized horses? AJ opts for the big duck; TamBam for the mini-horses. [59:09–60:03]

• Mama’s Boy vs. Estranged Son:
  Both prefer a man who loves his mama over one who doesn’t talk to her at all, examining the psychological roots. [60:09–61:49]

• Rewind or Pause Button on Life:
  Both select rewind, wishing for the chance to make alternate choices rather than freezing time. [62:02–62:30]

• Desirability in Partners:
  “Why nobody wants you but me? I don't like that.” —TamBam [64:08], expressing that it’s more attractive if a partner is desired by others.

• Housewife/Hoe Double Standard:
  Playful debate on whether men marry “safe” women but cheat with “hoes,” with AJ concluding, “You can't spell housewife without hoe.” [64:30–65:09]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Life Choices:
  “[Having an abortion] is literally a sacrifice, though, right? A lot of women have abortions because they sacrifice the baby for their future.” —A.J. Holiday [14:32]

• On Self-Delusion in Relationships:
  “Women lie and tell themselves that they're better than the next woman...Let that man go be with his type.” —A.J. Holiday [20:12]

• On Friendship & Loyalty:
  “If we fall out, that's fine. But airing all my dirty laundry out for the public, that's fucked up.” —TamBam [24:59]

• On Dating Standards:
  “If I catch my nigga hollering at bitches in a DM and none of them bitches want him, I'm fucking livid.” —A.J. Holiday [64:03]

• On Housework Childhood Trauma:
  “I despise...washing dishes. I spent all my childhood, I just was washing dishes.” —TamBam [42:28]

• On Life Regrets:
  “I don't be regretting, but I do want to go back and, like, alter some shit. Make a different decision.” —A.J. Holiday [62:05]

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Episode Structure & Flow

• [03:02–08:55] Personal wins and new community projects (AJ’s recognition and "Mummy’s House").
• [08:55–15:28] Real talk on abortion, societal pressure, and Black women’s experiences.
• [19:06–31:46] Commentary on public relationships, celebrity drama, and lawsuits.
• [36:15–66:31] Would You Ratherthon: back-to-back “would you rather” scenarios, with the hosts’ trademark banter, honesty, and deeper social commentary.
• [66:31–66:42] Closing thoughts: “Choose wisely” and gratitude for the audience.

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Overall Tone and Takeaways

The energy is irreverent, authentic, and supportive, with TamBam and AJ Holiday balancing laughs and realness, pushing Black women to embrace self-knowledge, confidence, and options in relationships and beyond. Listeners are left with a deeper appreciation for the complexity of Black womanhood, the importance of community, and the value of owning one’s narrative—even when life gets messy.

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For More:
Catch new episodes every Thursday on the Black Effect iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Follow @officialtambam, @ajholiday2.0, and @wetalkbackpodcast on Instagram for updates and more.

Transcript

[Tam Bam]

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[A.J. Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

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[A.J. Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

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[A.J. Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

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[A.J. Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks back.

[A.J. Holiday]

What's up, y'?

[Tam Bam]

All?

[A.J. Holiday]

It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam, y'?

[Tam Bam]

All. It's Stand Bam. I love y' all so much. Y' all came back. I'm so happy y' all came back to see see us and to sit and chat with your girls. How was your weekend?

[A.J. Holiday]

My weekend was extravagant. Is that a word? Extraordinary.

[Tam Bam]

Extraordinary. What you do.

[A.J. Holiday]

I had a good weekend. So the local Charlestonians, the Princess Diaries, Chris Kalin had a live show this weekend, and she did a very, very good job. I was highly impressed. This is actually her second live show in Charleston. I bought a ticket to the other one and didn't go this one. She actually had me do a segment on the show. And then we got like, a proclamation, a proclamation from the city of Charleston.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, wow. I wanna.

[A.J. Holiday]

I wanna read y' all this write up and y' all let me know, okay, Go ahead. Because the whole time I'm like, what the fuck they gonna write about me? Like, so now I feel like I gotta do, for real, some community work.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

So it's the. It was me, Charlemagne, and Cardia Brown. She. She's a chef, right? Yeah, she's a chef, and she has a restaurant here in the. In the airport. I haven't ate it yet. I heard it was fire. Shit. Every time I'm going to the airport, child, I'm going 15 minutes before I'm supposed to be in line trying to get on the flight. So I never have time to sit down and eat. But I have to make time one day because I don't think she's planning on doing, like, a restaurant outside the airport anytime soon.

[Tam Bam]

So you got to be traveling from Charleston to get food from her restaurant.

[A.J. Holiday]

And it'd be back now because I've seen it, it'd be packed as hell. Now. Initially, I didn't realize it was black owned. Yeah. So, yeah, she was one of the. The guests for the live show in. In Charlemagne also. And then we got a proclamation from our hometown.

[Tam Bam]

That's so dope.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, man. So check it out. It says, the city of Charleston recognizes individuals whose contributions strengthen our communities through service, advocacy and cultural education. And so they, you know, they, they little. Read up. Charlamagne read up. And hers is like, you know, kind of thick. Hang on, Mindo. It ain't thick, but it's good. I was so geeky. Okay, it says, it says Ashley AJ James, co host of the nationally recognized We Talk Back podcast, is a media leader. Okay? You heard that? Media leader. Whose work amplifies the voices of African American women and promotes a authentic dialogue about mental health.

Empowerment and social awareness. Her advocacy encourages women to embrace self knowledge. Okay. Confidence and connection across communities in the Carolinas and beyond.

[Tam Bam]

Clock back there more.

[A.J. Holiday]

So November 28, 2025, is now hereby the Community Service and Cultural Awareness Recognition Day.

[Tam Bam]

So you got a day in Charleston.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes, period.

[Tam Bam]

And the clap, y' all days.

[A.J. Holiday]

So now I gotta really do my non profit work. Right. So I can have like a longer. Because Shawnee list, of course, is long as. Right, right. But and not just that gave you.

[Tam Bam]

The push to do what you were already planning to do, so.

[A.J. Holiday]

Absolutely.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

So not to. To. Not to. Not to try to compete. But. So I did establish my.

501C3 for mummy's house.

[Tam Bam]

Mommy's House.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. It is going to be an alternative to abortion in Charleston. They used to have places where young girls who get pregnant can go and instead of having an abortion. Right. They can still go, have their children, have their kid, go to school, still finish high school and shit like that. Those type of places aren't around anymore. They only push abortion to black women. And it's not just for black women. So what if there was a place? Because there's a. There's another.

Place here called My Sister's House. So it's kind of. Kind of similar. But Charleston does not fuck with the homeless in any way. Everything is going to be like nonprofit, like individual companies and people actually trying to do things. The city does nothing.

For people in need as far as I'm concerned. So it's up to. It's up to the people, man. So, yeah, Mummy's house.

[Tam Bam]

I think that's great. Congratulations on that too. I think that's a great idea. They have a place to go and like, so this is while they're pregnant and then right after they're pregnant.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, because I was 14 and pregnant. Well, my mama put me out of jail. I mean, putting me out of jail put me out the house. Like, unless I had an abortion. That happened to me. In real life. So imagine, like, you don't have to be faced with those circumstances. You know, it might be tough, but you have other options other than not having a kid.

[Tam Bam]

Right. Okay, well, I think that's.

[A.J. Holiday]

You said, how does it work?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. The only thing I'm concerned with is, like.

Parents saying that their kid, like, let's say they want to. Their parents not putting them out, they want to leave. Can they come and stay there under law as a minor?

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't know. And those are the things I got the kinks, I guess I gotta work out.

Are you still a minor once you have a child of your own at 15? Yeah, you know, like, kinda.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, are you still your mom's responsibility while also being. Having, like, a little person that you are also responsible for? I don't know, but I know I have no choice. And, you know, listen, I want to thank my mama from the bottom of my heart, okay? Because the. That I was pregnant for. Yeah, you told me you saw him.

[Tam Bam]

He asked you for some change.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, no.

You're so stupid. You do not ask me for change. Like, he drove past my mama's house, and then somebody's yelling down the street, ashley, come here, mind y', all, this is like 17 years later. Plus, probably because I was 15. I was actually 15 at the time. So now I'm like 35, 33. I was 33. Actually. Never seen him kind of since that time in my life. So I'm talking like I'm a child, right?

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

So I'm like, I'm yelling back down the street, like, you in the car. You come back. So the car pulls up in front of my.

Almost threw up in my mouth. When I tell y' all my mama saved my life. Listen to your mama. Okay? When I tell y' all my mama saved my life. Because guess what? If I was. If I had a kid by that dude today, like, nobody would know who my kid's dad is. I promise, his dad would be dead. Like, you know, figuratively speaking. Right?

[Tam Bam]

Like, she told y' all to tell the.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, because when he got out that car, I was so disgusted with myself, y'. All. He was so fine when I was a kid. Because you don't know no fucking better. This grown ass man still looking like how he looked back then as a teenage boy is disgusting. He got him his pants up. Let's have baby mama, girl. I like to.

What's up, baby mama? He was like, I can't get your number. I said, no, I have a family plan. Mind you, my nigga just got arrested in jail. Like, this is why I'm at my mama house putting a suitcase out the back of my trunk.

[Tam Bam]

I still got a family plan.

[A.J. Holiday]

Fuck that. Still got a family plan, nigga.

[Tam Bam]

No. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

And trying to tell me he don't got no kids. I'm like, my sister saw you, like, at the courthouse. Child support. What are you talking about? Has plenty kids. And you know, this guy was. I don't want to get on my soapbox about this, but I mean, like, actually, like, I think he come from like a long line of people. And maybe he's not now. It's more like, you know, maybe he had like some. Some development delays or just bad. Just the full family was just bad.

[Tam Bam]

Behavioral issues.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes, just bad. Just doing shit. And him I stupid, smart ass pregnant for this dumb, retarded nigga and in love. And thank you, mama.

[Tam Bam]

So let me ask you this. If you had your business, if a business existed, like the one that you wanted to create and you went there, then you wouldn't have taken your mama's advice.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, I would not. Right. But as now, as a woman 41 years old with no children, that. That decision wasn't my mom's.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know what I'm saying? So that's the one part that people don't talk about during, you know, when it's election season, like, all the people come out the woodworks, they're pushing all these different agendas and all this stuff. It's a lot of single women that are always pushing single women with no children or, you know, married and got some step kids, but they have never had kids themselves. Examples. Kamala Harris, Mary J. Blige, all these people like you see pushing these agendas, they don't have kids of their own. I can see it from both spectrums. I see it from both sides. Right? So nobody tells those young girls, you, this might be your only chance to have a kid. I remember some years ago, I was walking in a flea market and this Hispanic girl walked up on me. She was like, where's your kid? You were supposed to have your baby. I started crying. Like, imagine like, this is not somebody who wanted money from me. Like, this is just a real prophet pulling up on me, telling me I was supposed to have my baby.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[A.J. Holiday]

And what if that's the only kid I might get? So those are the conversations that older women should be having with young girls. Because your body is telling you to reproduce. Ain't nothing you're going to be able to do. About that, you know, it's going to be millions of years until the body says, hey, this is what we're doing now. You start having a cycle. Like, it's really like a cat dog. Keep them at. Keep them kids asses in the house because they're going to be on the run. There's nothing you could do but guide, give guidance. And my mom was at work all day long.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

You know, so I hope that helps somebody. If you're pregnant right now, have your baby girl, it'll be all right. I got $5 for you. See, and I might. Hold on, I might get more. Listen, this is non profits. We don't get donations, right? Okay. So there are organizations out there that can help you. Like, having an abortion is a sacrifice. And people may not.

[Tam Bam]

It's a huge. It's a huge sacrifice. And I think, you know, people. We made light of it. We made joke. We on this show, we've made jokes about it.

[A.J. Holiday]

They don't wake it on walk, that type of shit. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

But essentially it is a huge sacrifice you make when you do that.

[A.J. Holiday]

It's literally a sacrifice, though, right? A lot of women have abortions because they sacrifice the baby for their future. It's an actual sacrifice. And this is why people really be pushing for the abortion laws. Right. Because what are y' all doing with these fetuses? You know, y' all sacrificing these fetuses, too, because it may just be like a little regular little thing. You got black girls twerking outside the abortion clinic. That shit ain't cute. You sacrificed something.

[Tam Bam]

Black girls twerking outside the abortion clinic.

[A.J. Holiday]

It was this girl. I was following Instagram until I saw her twerking outside the abortion clinic. She literally, like, had cameras and stuff in there. She had the procedure, and then she was twerking outside. She's big on social media, too. And I thought she was funny, super raunchy, nasty. But, you know, I can stomach all that. But when she did a girl.

[Tam Bam]

That's too much. That's too.

[A.J. Holiday]

Get out of here.

[Tam Bam]

What did I do this weekend?

[A.J. Holiday]

I. Oh, sorry, y'. All.

[Tam Bam]

What did I do this weekend? I 1. I engorged myself with food from Thanksgiving, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I quit after Saturday. I could not eat no more. That and then. And just kicked it with family. Then on Sunday, I made soup. I mean, my weekend was like, just very. I don't think I did my hair all weekend. I showered and brushed my weekend, and that was about it.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yep, that's most of my weekends.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. But it was nice. I needed that. And then last night, I. It was, like, raining. It was icy. And I went to my little yeah. Yeah. House to cuddle. And he convinced me to watch the Conjuring 4 with him. And we were watching that shit, and at one of the scariest moments, like, this thing came through a mirror, and I jumped right in. Horror because it was scary. And then all the power went out in the house. Baby, you talking about.

[A.J. Holiday]

What movie was you watching?

[Tam Bam]

The Conjuring 4.

[A.J. Holiday]

Oh, yeah. I watched that recently. You know that's based off true story. Like those that husband and wife are real.

[Tam Bam]

Yes. And that's why I was. I almost doo, doo, doo on that man couch, y'. All. I was so scared, I was. My pants. The power went out, and all you hear is rain and wind and pitch black. I can't even. I don't even know what happens at the end. I don't care what happens at the end. That was enough for me. I ain't never had that happen. It was like the power went out right at the exact moment after the huge scare. Like, it was, like, almost on cue.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what I was about to say. It's not that scary, but they have some scary parts, like jumping out and stuff like that.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Imagine the light, the shock factor, the something is so quiet and then something, you know. You know how they doing scary movies. Yeah. That took me out of the game. He was talking about, just go to sleep. Ow. I'm sitting here with my phone supposed to do that. I sit here with my. In the bed, ladies. The flashlight on my phone. You talking about y'. All.

[A.J. Holiday]

I used to be so scared of the dark, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[A.J. Holiday]

And it wasn't until I conquered, like, the fear of dying. I sleep so, like, I be sleeping on my back. I used to be scared to sleep on my back because it felt like laying in the coffin, stupid. Like that. Now I. I realized that sleeping on your back is actually the best position.

[Tam Bam]

It is. I start on my back, but I always end up on my stomach with my arms up like this. Oh.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'd be on my back like this. My arm be like this.

[Tam Bam]

That is so bad for me like that.

[A.J. Holiday]

Especially when you got a dip in your back.

[Tam Bam]

Let me tell you what I don't like when. Like when you're getting your lashes done or anything done, where you have to lay like you're laid back, I always put my hands in my lap, you know, across each other, and then I snatch them back because it just looks like. How they have you in the casket, but that's like, the most comfortable place to rest your hands.

[A.J. Holiday]

And I'll be right there, child, because, oh, I'm not afraid to die. But, boy, I used to be scared of the dark. Now if I see some, I'd be like, hey, tomorrow, not tonight. My.

Get out my room. Don't touch me. Because should be around, man.

[Tam Bam]

Let's get in the sand.

[A.J. Holiday]

What we got going on? I updated Instagram recently. Now it's, like, different. My is someplace else.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah. I try to stay away from the updates as long as possible.

[A.J. Holiday]

So y' all remember a couple months ago, damn near nine months ago at this point, Nikki baby, right, she was pregnant, and she was having a back and forth with another woman that her baby daddy, Jamal Ball. Is that his name?

[Tam Bam]

One of them balls.

[A.J. Holiday]

One of them balls.

Left her for this other woman, right? While she was pregnant. Now, this woman has pinned a heartfelt message online, a lengthy transparency post, they're calling it, depicting what she's going through right now. Right? So this is actually.

Essentially. Yeah. And you know, when. When I did Chris's show this weekend, one of the questions she asked me is, what is one of the biggest lie women tell themselves in relationships? And I literally said, women lie and tell themselves that they're better than the next woman.

[Tam Bam]

They're bigger than the program. You're not.

[A.J. Holiday]

They never bigger than the program. And that man choices have nothing to do with you. So if you think you're better than him and you think you're better than her, let that man go be with his type. Why you comparing yourself to them? I got a home girl who do that. She always saying how her ass fatted and she cut it and, like, none of that matters because he's still playing in your face with a bird. Obviously, that's his type, and he's happy to have access to you. So really, what you saying is you're also a bird, right? Get out that coop. Okay. If it ain't for you. Okay. So her name is Rashida Nicole. So she apologizes to Nikki baby after admitting she's now dealing with the same issues she once mocked her for. So I don't know why we always think we gonna get better treatment from these dudes. I'm not even with you if I see you just straight, straight up, blatantly disrespected another woman.

[Tam Bam]

He pregnant when she got.

[A.J. Holiday]

He was pregnant. Yeah, she was pregnant. So this girl is now married to him. Right. Do we want to read the whole post?

[Tam Bam]

No.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. Anyway, so.

I'll read it in my own time.

But I. I wanted to.

[Tam Bam]

But anyway, you want to read it.

[A.J. Holiday]

If you want to read it for practice. No, this.

[Tam Bam]

This just.

[A.J. Holiday]

Just the caption. But it says she posted a trans transparency post revealing she's going through a divorce and has spent most of her pregnancy alone. She says her child's father missed every milestone, pressured her into changing her daughter's name at five and a half months because it was too close to another woman's name.

[Tam Bam]

Eight and a half.

[A.J. Holiday]

Eight and a half months. See, I might be a little d. Dyslexic because how the did I just read that? 5.8. Anyway. My brain be moving faster than my damn. Something. Something happening. Anyway. And continued lying throughout their relationship. Rashida says she. She chose not to have him in the delivery room after months of emotional pain and absence. She also publicly apologized to Nikki. Ms. Nikki Baby, admitting she's now experiencing the same issues and once that she once mocked her for. Rashida says she's not angry, just exhausted and is stepping into this new chapter, Stronger Healing and focused on creating a positive future for her child. That's unfortunate.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, this is old book with the same story.

[A.J. Holiday]

Very old.

[Tam Bam]

So there I'm. You know, I hate that she's experiencing that. I hate when any woman becomes a single mother, you know, especially when she wants to have the partner there. You know, that's sad. But I mean.

Kind of had it coming.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. And she. I guess he took it a step further. At least married her. So that probably made her feel even more like she had grown up.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

On the next Woman Child, please. That don't mean nothing. It don't mean nothing. It's so many single women out here with children, Right? A lot of them. So just because he gave you a little promise ring. A lie ring don't mean nothing. Yeah, not a damn thing. Y' all don't choose different self awareness. That's where it starts. Because cannot play with you when you know who you are.

[Tam Bam]

So I saw on the Jasmine brand, Funky Dineva claims Tamar Braxton and Mendici's Harris have been sneaking around alleging witnessing them making out. And he. I'm not gonna read all this. But he definitely read Tamar down and was like. And I was uncomfortable. And I didn't want to come in that house because you and Mendices was kissing before y' all went in. And I thought y' all wanted some privacy, so that's why I didn't come. And he was just like, really Laying all the tea down. And I kind of don't like that just because now what. What Tamar and Mendy sees were doing. Allegedly, that's not okay because he's married. And I'm sure she knows yet. You know, maybe not well, but she knows exactly who Andy is.

[A.J. Holiday]

But he was just in her video. He. He was. He was featured in her music video video.

[Tam Bam]

And we don't know what relationship men these season Yandy have. Maybe they have like an open. I don't know. But what I don't like is it seems like funky Dineva is someone Tamar trusts or they were at least friends at some point. And I just don't like if we fall out, that's fine. But airing all my dirty laundry out for the public, that's fucked up.

[A.J. Holiday]

I just feel like that's nasty. I was just saying that shit this weekend. I have a hard time losing friends. You know, part of it is, is because, like, you know, it's like a death kind of, right? You grieving the loss of this person. Especially when the. Like, I'm talking about, like, we're homegirls. Like, when is like over over, right? But the part that me at the most, I really want a to disappear is that you know all my secrets and you just out here in the world with my. Do this type of. When a really get on, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't like friends because you're not a friend. You don't need enemies if you got friends like this, right?

[Tam Bam]

Ready, you know, ready to air your dirty laundry and not.

[A.J. Holiday]

Nah, I've definitely talked shit to mutual friends about a friend I'm no longer friends with. But like, to. I would never, like, go to the public, right?

[Tam Bam]

And hop on. We talk back and be like. And so. And so you did this.

[A.J. Holiday]

If exactly. If anything, we gonna be on here doing it to each other in front of y', all, right? Ain't no behind the back.

[Tam Bam]

But you still wouldn't even know that we talk about each other, though. That's the thing. Y' all would never know just being hurt on.

[A.J. Holiday]

And if you. If there's no video.

Look, y' all know we doing right now, if ain't no video, we'd be doing like this Eyes lightning.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, she giving me like. Like we a. Like, I know what you did last summer.

[A.J. Holiday]

Face it, right? Yeah. He's not a good friend. And I'll be honest, man. I have a few guys. Guy friends who are gay too, okay. And we don't hang out that often or whatever. But these, I consider them good friends. I love them.

But this is why I don't just hang out with a bunch of punks. Okay. I feel like they're extra caddy like this. This is not the first time this dude and somebody else's best friend, gay best friend, was just out in the ass on the Internet recently. Like, they do this. They be having all the tea, right? That is not man. Listen, you got to be careful with the women and the men. I don't know why I thought it was going to be different. Men actually talk more than women. And now you got a man with more feminine energy than an actual man. Oh, honey, it's about to be a whole show.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know what you thought.

But careful, Tamar. I have. You know, I. I like Tamar sometimes, but oftentimes she'd be giving mean girl energy too. So it seems like they would be friends.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

When she was all on there like big bad Cadillac. Big bad Cadillac. I just thought that was going to be that Cadillac. One of her co hosts from the View, the black. What's her name? Lonnie Love.

[A.J. Holiday]

Lonnie Love. She was kind of big back. Big. Big black Cadillac. Big bat or big back Cadillac. Oh, yeah, that's me.

[Tam Bam]

That was so mean. So I just got plenty jokes for her. Yeah, she not my favorite when they come to like that. So I can see how they could be friends, you know? But I mean, I can't wait to hear her response to this or what? Yandy got this.

[A.J. Holiday]

You don't say.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, and it just blow over.

[A.J. Holiday]

You honestly need to just stop addressing.

[Tam Bam]

You know, do we really care? No.

[A.J. Holiday]

No, not really. I don't. We just gotta talk about.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, we gotta find three things to talk about with y' all every.

Now.

[A.J. Holiday]

I care about this one a little bit. All right, so Meg thee stallion her defamation case against Malargo was tossed out at the judge rules Malargo is a media defendant and says Megan's team failed to properly notify her. So apparently in the state of Florida, if somebody is a media defendant, there's like some special per se way in which you're supposed to notify that person if they are in the media. You know what I'm saying? Because people get up all the time in media.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Right. And we definitely living in a world where believe. Believe nothing you hear and half of what the you see. So you just never know what's what. But it says the federal judge. Federal jury found Milagro Elizabeth Cooper liable to. Meg Megan Pete Megan Stallion, for intentional infliction of emotional distress and for promoting an unaltered. Excuse me. Promoting an altered sexual image of Megan in violation of Florida law. The jury also originally found Cooper liable for defamation per se, but the judge could not enter judgment on that claim because Florida law requires special prosecution. Pre suit notice to media defendants. And Megan the Stallion did not notify, did not provide this notice. Since the jury ruled Cooper is considered a media defendant, the defamation per se claim could not move forward. So all in all, she's going to be having to pay $59,000 in compensatory and punitive damages. The court will decide any request for legal fees after appeals or post trial motions. But did y' all see how Megan Stallion, she had like a 20 carousel post on her page showing all her court outfits. It was like, suits, fly, shit bags, new.

[Tam Bam]

So she was going to court that many times.

[A.J. Holiday]

I guess she was preparing for it, but I guess it just. I think it only took a day.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, it happened fast.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. So it wasn't like drawing out, like, Cardi B had, like, what, two weeks to put clothes on every day for y'?

[Tam Bam]

All. And the looks was looking.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. So I guess Meg thee Stallion was trying to get in her Cardi B bag and put that on for us. We appreciate it. Yeah. Close, close. Case. I think this case is important, right, because it's just like Tasha K. And. And Cardi B. And we are in media, right? You just. I don't feel like talking shit and lying on a person should come with celebrity. Like, just because this person is a celebrity, like, they should not. They should not be. Like, you shouldn't expect them to be, like, okay with you just lying on them, just making out stories and then.

[Tam Bam]

Posting, you know, nude videos and pictures. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, I think the shit with Tasha K. It got Cardi B. When Tasha K. Was saying Cardi B. Had her and was kissing her kid, that could easily. Yeah, like, what the fuck is that, man? That could easily be, you know, proven right, true or false, with a little.

[Tam Bam]

I mean, ugly. It's just ugly.

[A.J. Holiday]

A lot of people have that shit. Both kinds. Okay, let's be very clear. If you have never been tested for. You don't know if you got it or not until you get a little outbreaky break.

[Tam Bam]

I thought you was talking about ugly. I'm about to say, how many kinds of ugly is there?

[A.J. Holiday]

About four to 11 types. Because I want to know what picture she posted of Cardi B. What's the altered image? Because of a mother?

[Tam Bam]

Oh, no. Megastall.

[A.J. Holiday]

My big ass foot. That's what I meant. Megastallion. If somebody post a picture of my big long foot and made it longer in an image of me sucking dick.

[Tam Bam]

I'm mad.

Cause your foot long. Are you sucking dick foot long? Like damn, her feet big as I'm.

[A.J. Holiday]

Mad because why y' all playing with me?

[Tam Bam]

Okay, that's fair. What are we doing today.

[A.J. Holiday]

Man? We gonna do a whole episode of would you rather? Why not? It's our favorite segment. I like it. I like it. We have guests on would you rather. So we gonna do. Would you rather between us? Okay.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. We'll be right back.

[Commercial Voice]

What a matchup we got y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[Commercial Voice]

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[A.J. Holiday]

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[A.J. Holiday]

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[A.J. Holiday]

All right, y', all, so we are back.

[Tam Bam]

Back.

[A.J. Holiday]

And today's episode is. Would you rather a thon with a little commentary conversation in between. Okay, so I want to start with some, like, toxic relationship type shit. All right, So y' all can get to get to know us. We lie, though. We do be lying. Okay, a little bit.

[Tam Bam]

But I'm not just lying. When I lie, just know. I'm not just lying to you. I'm also lying to myself. Okay. I do believe in my own life sometimes. So there's.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right, so this is the Would you rather Toxicity edition. Okay. For grown women.

Let's see. Would you rather date a man who posts you.

Who won't post you. Sorry, who won't post you or a man who posts everything, including y' all arguments.

[Tam Bam]

I. I don't want to be posted. Honestly. I don't want people in my relationship like that. I don't think I want to post each other until our wedding day or something like that.

Like Issa. Issa. We didn't know she had a man till she had the ring.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly. Pop out. Okay. Yeah, that's really how it's supposed to be.

I think social media, we put too much shit on there. And right now I'm trying to figure out what type of niche page I can create, because it's still not going to be based off my personal life, and I don't got that much shit going on. You know what I'm saying? I just. People could find out too much about you just by going on to your Instagram page. And I'm not one of the people who believe in. Like, even before we talk back, I never had a private page before. Like, people be weirding me out who got like 200 people following them and they got a private page. Like, bitch, what? I think you're CIA following me. I'm not following you back.

[Tam Bam]

You know what? I think a good niche for you is? Like.

Conspiracy theories and, like, debunking stuff.

[A.J. Holiday]

I want to do fun. Okay?

It's gonna. That might be a second page, but, like, I know I be like, I could post some really, really good ass memes and create them. I might do me like a little meme page. Okay, y' all follow this other page. It's called Corporate Job Stripper Bod. Okay?

And if you listen to this episode, then this is going to be the only day you know it's me behind that page. Right? Corporate Job Stripper Bod. I've had that page for 10 years or some.

[Tam Bam]

It's an IG page. Yep. Corporate Job Stripper bot. It's crazy. All right, would you rather have unlimited money for bills or unlimited money for vacations?

[A.J. Holiday]

I got unlimited money for vacation right now, and my dose is due, so it's always going to be we living.

[Tam Bam]

So wait, unlimited money for. So which one you saying? Bills or vacation?

[A.J. Holiday]

Unlimited money for vacation.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know if I'm gonna pick that one. I feel like I would pick the unlimited bill money. That way I can use my money for vacations. Yeah, but now my bills, I don't have nothing to worry about, ever. My bills are always paid.

[A.J. Holiday]

But imagine if you had unlimited vacation money. How luxurious those trips are going to be. Like, you got that basic ass rent and shit at the house.

[Tam Bam]

But I wouldn't have. If I had unlimited money for bills. The bills would be different.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay, so the. The house will probably be looking like a vacation spot.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

And changes everything up. I get it. I agree.

[Tam Bam]

Every day is now vacation.

[A.J. Holiday]

I agree.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. So I guess you're gonna do the regular life. I'll do the toxic.

[Tam Bam]

All right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Would you rather a man who texts back fast but lies or Text slow and tells the truth.

[Tam Bam]

Take me slow. I guess I don't need. Like, I'm not. I don't need no urgent text unless it's like, an emergency. You ain't got to. Because.

[A.J. Holiday]

Listen, what's the time limit?

[Tam Bam]

It depends. Because with me, like, with doing hair, I can't just stop and text you. I can't be checking my phone every five minutes. So sometimes you might not hear back from me for hours.

[A.J. Holiday]

So what if. For hours, right? So what if you text somebody and then hours done pass by? You just know he done text you back, and you look at your phone and he respond to this long text yet, who died?

[Tam Bam]

What happened? Something happened, right? Something had to have happened. But I'm open to hear what happened before I spaz, you know?

[Commercial Voice]

Oh.

[Tam Bam]

But it just depends on what kind of work they do. Like, you know, you can't assume that someone can just be available because you want to talk in that moment, right?

[A.J. Holiday]

I got a homegirl who I be like. She be telling me shit. I be like, girl, relax. Like. Because I really don't be putting pressure on people if a never respond. You dead that day too, right? So I'm never, like, sitting around anticipating a response from somebody, even in relationships, you know what I'm saying? Like, set it and forget it if you don't text back. We really done broke up essentially, like, because what the fuck was you doing? I don't want to hear nothing else. Really. You obviously died.

Okay, but she be like, really? Like, do you think I should call?

[Tam Bam]

I'm like, girl, now your mind is taking control now. You come up with all these different scenarios in your head and you're trying to control. Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

You cannot control another grown person. So what if the person is dead? They can't answer anyway, right? If he's alive and fucking on another bitch, he can't answer anyway. How can you control any of these outcomes?

[Tam Bam]

You.

[A.J. Holiday]

You can't, so relax.

[Tam Bam]

So it. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Would you rather wash a sink full of dishes or fold five loads of laundry?

[A.J. Holiday]

A sink full of dishes. I really hate both.

[Tam Bam]

Give me the laundry. I despise. Listen, I spent all my childhood, I just was wash, washing dishes.

[A.J. Holiday]

Why shouldn't ding?

[Tam Bam]

You like my y' all and rotate? Yes, we did, but it just felt like it was always my turn.

[A.J. Holiday]

I felt like that my sister around and had a baby when she was 20 and still living in the house. And my mom told her she don't have to wash dishes no more because she.

[Tam Bam]

Excuse me.

[A.J. Holiday]

How the you get out of the rotation because you got a kid now. So now here I am.

[Tam Bam]

And you're also adding bottles and shit to the rotation.

[A.J. Holiday]

Exactly. I'm 14. So now and then I'm at the end, at the very end. I'm still in a rotation between me and my other sister. Now your big ass. You don't get to do shit because you.

[Tam Bam]

You.

[A.J. Holiday]

You was fucking and got pregnant. What if I do that? Guess what happened when I did it? End up at the motherfucking clinic. Damn.

[Tam Bam]

It's still washing dishes.

[A.J. Holiday]

Why? Trying to get out the rotation.

[Tam Bam]

Washing dishes.

[A.J. Holiday]

Listen, washing dishes.

[Tam Bam]

This thing I despise. And just because of childhood. Well, there's more than two, but two specifically that pertains to this. And it's washing dishes. And a pack of ramen noodles. Both of them. I ate so much ramen noodles as a tea. Like a teenager or a young in college and too. Oh God.

[A.J. Holiday]

You got to get the good ones from the Asian grocery store with all them. You could get an egg in there on a dry freeze egg.

I don't want them for that.

[Tam Bam]

I like real ramen though. Like from a ramen restaurant. But in that pack for 27 cent or how much ever that shit costs. Don't give me that.

[A.J. Holiday]

You gotta dress it up. They using the same noodles.

[Tam Bam]

Fuck that.

[Commercial Voice]

Woo. What a vibe we've got, y'.

[A.J. Holiday]

All.

[Commercial Voice]

As always, it's classic HBCU energy. Nonstop action. The band is rockin' and the crowd lit. Chants echoing, drums beating everybody showing that school pride. Moments like this. Yeah, they call for an ice cold Coca Cola. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Mm, yeah, that taste always hit the right note. Just like the band at halftime. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere, and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the place, no matter the moment, everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going. You've been working in the garage with your dad every week, Monday to Sunday, trying to get the old school up and running. Today, after all the hard work, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All finally finished it.

[Commercial Voice]

So you have that feeling of accomplishment. You did it. Then your dad throws you the keys. He says those three magic words. All yours, son. Yup. Same car that belonged to your grandpa.

[Tam Bam]

And that your dad helped him fix.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Tam Bam]

So he gets you generation to generation.

[Commercial Voice]

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[A.J. Holiday]

Would you rather a man who this is kind of. Would you rather a man who buys gifts instead of apologizing? Or one who apologizes but keeps doing the same shit? Looks like it's a gift missing somewhere, right?

[Tam Bam]

Right. So he buys me gifts but he don't change the behavior, right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Or he and his other one it.

[Tam Bam]

Still don't change the behavior.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes, exactly. I sound like it's still a gift missing, right?

[Tam Bam]

Just give me the gifts. If I'm if I got same sorry every time, then I just take stuff. If I have to choose If I have to choose.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right, right. Crying in the mebok.

[Tam Bam]

All right, home. Would you rather have your knees back from your age 20 or your metabolism from 18?

[A.J. Holiday]

I should been up my whole life. God, I never had no good knees. Metabolism, Ben. Slow as. Never could do a pull up on the monkey bars in elementary. Like, these are still my goals in life. To twerk. Like, really twerk. How people be on their. The ball of their feet. I want to do that. Don't look like how y' alls be looking.

[Tam Bam]

I can't dance no more either. I used to be a youth dancer, but just somewhere along the line, I lost.

[A.J. Holiday]

Not even for a long time. Now I can hop on a dick, but dancing, like, by myself, No, I can't dance like that.

[Tam Bam]

But even on a dick, you ain't got to do all of that. They be. They do too much on the dance floor.

[A.J. Holiday]

The girls will be dancing like that. Can't do it on a dick.

[Tam Bam]

Yep, exactly.

[A.J. Holiday]

That's what I think. All that's working be right.

[Tam Bam]

Give me back my metabolism. Them knees. I don't need them.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm trying to. When was my metallic metabolism? I'm literally, like, right now, y'. All. I am doing an every other day fast. Trying to reset my metabolism at 41.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

My metabolism has been slow my whole life. As far as it was her. I don't even eat that much. I don't eat that much meat. I don't. I mean, I don't eat meat. I. I think it's sugar. Right.

[Tam Bam]

Bread, Carb load.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't, though. That's. It's just so weird. You know what I'm saying? But then I recognized the other day eating out that my partner, he had protein. Like, he had an egg Benedict salmon. A salmon egg Benedict. And here I. Here I am with the sweet potato pancakes and a biscuit. You know what I'm saying? Egg on the side and a piece of his salmon. No, I didn't have a biscuit. I had beignets. That's what it was. So just straight carbs. That's my problem. So it is the food selection.

[Tam Bam]

Mm. Would you already know the answer for this one for you? Would you rather have permanent, flawless skin or permanent thick, long, healthy hair?

[A.J. Holiday]

I already got good skin, so yes. Let me get the permanent, long, healthy hair right to the Tudor. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

That's all right now.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. I always be feeling like if all black women had, like, long, curly hair, wouldn't date outside their race. Men are so obsessed with. With hair.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

And they Want to be able to rub their fingers through our shit. And oftentimes when they cuff the back of our necks to kiss us. There's something back there. Okay. There's something back there stopping them. Maybe a little ripple of some naps or a lace closure.

Something.

[Tam Bam]

Stop it. Right?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. They just want to be able to round fingers to your hair and they can't.

Let me see. Would you rather a man who has three baby mamas or a man with no baby mamas at 47 and questionable. And questionable reasons why no baby mamas.

[Tam Bam]

Easy. What do you mean questionable reasons why he might be gay?

[A.J. Holiday]

Well, questionable reasons why. I don't know what those questionable reasons could be, but 47. I feel like a 47 year old man with no kids is just more sketchy than a 47. 47 year old woman with no kids. It just can't be sketchy.

[Tam Bam]

Why I want three baby mamas when I could have no baby mamas.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right? I agree. This dude I used to date and he was older now.

[Tam Bam]

I.

[A.J. Holiday]

The other day I was like trying to calculate because he sent me some on Instagram like be talking to himself really. But I was calculating like this. He got to be like 50 years old now. And I was talking to him like when I lived in St. Louis. I was 28 at the time when I moved to St. Louis and he was like in his late 30s. And I remember I stopped talking to him because he had no kids. Fine as hell. I used to be like, well you a whole God. Like the way his body was just naturally.

He have no kids but he had no headboard. He had a blow up mattress. He was trying to smash me on the first time. Yeah, when the got a headboard he, he couldn't wait to show me. Girl set the standard for these. I did not give him no pussy on that blowout mattress. So the minute he got a bed, I was the first to know somebody was allowing that. So he wanted to know that. Hey baby, I got me a shellac. A black shellac.

[Tam Bam]

Queen size bed.

[A.J. Holiday]

Come bounce on this.

[Tam Bam]

Lay your head up against this.

[A.J. Holiday]

But I stopped talking to him because the had. He was like hanging out at my house like a couple days and I always worked from home. So one day I. I think I might have went to the gym. I left. Somehow I left the house and left him there and he went and got food without me. He had recently got laid off from his job, so I think his money was funny. I could have paid for both of our food. Why the fuck would you Wait till I leave the house to go get food. Without me. So you wouldn't have to buy me nothing either.

[Tam Bam]

You don't have to pay for my food.

[A.J. Holiday]

And at the end of the day, I wouldn't tell him why. Cole's exactly come back to my house and I haven't ate.

And I've been feeding you in here.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. You selfish. Get out.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah, he was laid off at the time. Just have the conversation, grown ass man. This is somebody 10 years my senior. Have the conversation. I would have paid for both of our foods like. And that's. That's not even pride. What is that? That's just whack. Yeah, so I. I cold turkey him and stopped talking to him.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, he was. He sounded like a loser from the beginning.

[A.J. Holiday]

Diesel mechanic now. Like he got. Let me stop talking about people in here. Jesus Christ. He got his life together now, but he still doesn't have any kids and he's still not married. Would you know one other thing? I'm gonna add this in there. That dick was kind of weak for a late 30 year old. Late 30s, in the 40s. So I'm thinking, I wonder if maybe he had like some Ed happening around that time. So you probably couldn't have kids now that I'm thinking about it.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that's very possible.

[A.J. Holiday]

I just liked him because he was cool. Yeah, I'm saying. But probably was a loser. Let's go carry on.

[Tam Bam]

Would you rather have a job you love that pays average money or a job you tolerate that pays crazy money?

[A.J. Holiday]

Story of my life. I mean, with I. You know, I've always.

Wanted to be able to make a big living being myself. So that's. Thus we talk back. Right. But sometimes you still gotta do all the other things. Yeah, I would prefer.

To make crazy money hating it, but that's not really how I want to live. My money is not everything.

[Tam Bam]

Not me I want to love.

[A.J. Holiday]

I pay me enough money to be miserable.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. That's why I say I take a job that I love that pay average versus a job that I tolerate that pays crazy money. Because then you. All you have is money. But no peace of mind in it.

[A.J. Holiday]

No time.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Would you rather a man who keeps his phone face down or a man who answers every call even during sex? What? What's that?

[Tam Bam]

Put your phone face down. I don't give a. Don't answer my call. Having sex with me weird.

[A.J. Holiday]

My phone stay face down for no reason because I ain't got to hide. And guess what? My notifications ain't Coming up.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

So knowing.

[Tam Bam]

Listen to this one. This is dumb. Would you rather work four 10 hour days or five, six hour days? I would not rather work. Don't ask me no question like that.

[A.J. Holiday]

I did not aspire to a life of goddamn labor.

[Tam Bam]

Labor.

[A.J. Holiday]

Would you rather date a man who never lies but omits the truth? Yes. I think that's most men. A lot of men. Okay. Or a man who lie. That's actually me. The. Or a man who lies but tells the truth when caught.

That's a good one.

[Tam Bam]

I think I'd rather a person who never lies but omits the truth.

[A.J. Holiday]

To me, omitting the truth is lying.

[Tam Bam]

It's still lying. But I don't want no nigga who just always lying to me. And. And I got to be an investigator all the time. And then once I find out the truth. Now he's honest. No, just.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes.

[Tam Bam]

That's too much.

[A.J. Holiday]

I was having a conversation with somebody about accountability and this. I told him we would probably do an episode on it at some point. Right. So I think that I don't have a problem with accountability. The problem I do have with people is them trying to hold other people accountable for shit. Right. And you can only hold yourself accountable. First of all, I think we talked about this, did we not? I was saying how.

I think that when people don't have the same story or they don't think they don't have the same perspective, the other person or somebody automatically thinks that person isn't taking accountability because their perspective is different on what transpired. You see what I'm saying? Why would I take accountability? Like when I don't agree with what you're saying. How could I take accountability? You have some people who know what the. The person is saying, they are intentionally acting like they don't know what the going on.

[Tam Bam]

Misunderstanding.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. To Gaslight, you essentially right. That's two different things. So how do you take accountability? Like either is this person doing this intentionally or are they just.

I don't know. You just don't know.

[Tam Bam]

You can't take accountability for something you don't agree with.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right?

[Tam Bam]

There is no.

[A.J. Holiday]

But I think that's when people be like, oh, women don't take accountability. We don't agree with half the shit y' all saying.

[Tam Bam]

The.

[A.J. Holiday]

You mean we don't. We do take accountability for the things that make sense, but the things we don't agree with. How is. And the same thing go for men. Like, how are they supposed to take accountability for some. They don't agree With.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Now, some things that they know they lying about because I'll ask men all the time, so you don't know no homeboys like this. You experience the same with your homeboys because you don't think that women are going through this in a relationship with them. And y' all don't date men, so believe us when we say they're different. Yes, they're different. They're not your. It's a different relationship.

[Tam Bam]

Would you.

[A.J. Holiday]

But you. There's always signs that your homeboy ain't. And you be acting like it ain't happening.

[Tam Bam]

No, they know.

[A.J. Holiday]

Go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 50 duck sized horses?

[A.J. Holiday]

One horse sized duck or 50 duck sized horse?

[Tam Bam]

Wait, 50 little ass horses or one big ass duck?

[A.J. Holiday]

I want to fight the big duck.

[Tam Bam]

I'm fighting them 50 horses.

[A.J. Holiday]

50 little horses. 50 little horses, man. You better think about the walking dead. You be good when it's just one or two of them, but when they start like getting a herd, but you.

[Tam Bam]

Think about how ducks act. And their wingspan gonna be crazy on a horse sized duck would be on you. Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Big load.

[Tam Bam]

But I feel like I kick over them. They fat. They gonna be fast too, though. I don't know.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right. Would you rather date a mama's boy or a man who doesn't talk to his mama at all?

[Tam Bam]

A mama's boy?

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. Why you don't talk to your mama?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, there's gonna be some trauma associated with that. And typically men who don't like their mamas don't like you. If a man love his mama, they be nicer to you. I feel like they treat you better.

[A.J. Holiday]

I gotta send you this post that I saw today. And my boyfriend said he sent it.

[Tam Bam]

He.

[A.J. Holiday]

He said he didn't agree with it. And I told him we're gonna discuss it later. Because it was so profound to me. I posted on my story. But the. I forgot this guy's name. He's probably not even alive now, but he was like a. A speaker from the 7th. From the 80s, 90s or whatever. But he basically was alluding to the fact that some. Some men hate their moms because the mom was a constant. Right. You really don't have a reason to hate your daddy because he wasn't around. Right. You hate your mama because she was around. You know, it was basically talking about how if men had less sex with women, that there would be stronger love. You're having sex for women, for sport. Yeah. And it's like. And I just had this Conversation with somebody last night. When somebody doesn't need anything from you, you like them more versus somebody who's always asking you for some shit, right? And that is the relationship between men and women.

Like, men require a lot from us. And when we get burnt out, we get real nasty. So now you experience in this nasty ass spirit after a while, right? The kids gonna go through it. This is all the things he was saying. I was like, man, that is so profound.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Of course, I'm not saying exactly how he was, but that is. That's the gist of it.

[Tam Bam]

That's a good topic.

Would you rather have a pause button for life or a rewind button?

[A.J. Holiday]

Oo, rewind.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, rewind.

[A.J. Holiday]

I don't be regretting, but I do want to go back and like alter some. Make. Be. Make a different decision. Because I do feel like all the decisions you have, all these different decisions you could make, Right. So this is what quantum jumping is. Quantum jumping is deciding in this reality what you want because that other version of you already exists in another reality.

[Tam Bam]

Jump. In Atlanta. When we went to that restaurant, remember which one we. It's. It felt like we went through like a time warp or something. Like we were trying to stop at that restaurant and it seemed like we passed the same exit twice. Or throw.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. Yes.

[Tam Bam]

Was weird.

[A.J. Holiday]

That was. That was weird. We did we not talk about it while it was happening?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, we did. We did.

[A.J. Holiday]

Like, how did we get here from there when it's the same highway, right?

Why did it take us longer from this way? It was some weird. And I feel like that about Atlanta. Like, Atlanta is a major energy source as far as I'm concerned. I do feel like they be doing some. Some to black people in Atlanta. That's really not a black city.

Really. Don't run.

[Tam Bam]

All right, pick one.

[A.J. Holiday]

You might have jumped in some. Let me see.

[Tam Bam]

Damn.

[A.J. Holiday]

Did I run through you done? I think so. Oh, wait. God damn. Would you rather a man whose ex still wants him or a man nobody has ever wanted, ever?

[Tam Bam]

I don't care about the ex. She can still want you, right?

[A.J. Holiday]

I carry it.

[Tam Bam]

I don't want no that nobody want why I want his ass.

[A.J. Holiday]

Right? What is what. Why nobody else wanted him? If I catch my nigga hauling at bitches in a DM and none of them bitches want him, I'm fucking livid.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

I'm embarrassed.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[A.J. Holiday]

Cause at my getting curved.

[Tam Bam]

Why nobody wants you but me? I don't like that.

[A.J. Holiday]

And men, on the other hand, like, they think they want a Woman that's popping that everybody wants, but they really don't. So they end up marrying the safe. The safe one. And then they'd be trying to cheat with the one that they just married.

[Tam Bam]

Ho. Yeah, but they don't want to have kids with the hoe. That's the thing.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yes. They have kids with Coles. You cannot spell housewife without hoe. Like, we do this.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Okay. It's gonna be a wonderful life. She's gonna know exactly how to treat you. Okay. Because you're gonna end up turning the good girl into a hoe anyway. Because you're gonna be cheating with hoes. Because hoes be winning. You know that song, you gonna Make Me Be a hoe, Jasmine Sullivan.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. That's essentially what happens to good women. Get low fucking prize.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. You gonna make a hoe out of me. You don't get no prize for being good. Dog them.

[Tam Bam]

That's not true.

[A.J. Holiday]

Look at your face.

[Tam Bam]

You look.

[A.J. Holiday]

Nah, I'm. I'm not talking nobody. Them days over with. That's something like that song, take Me through there. That I don't. Ain't taking me through no more.

[Tam Bam]

You hear me?

[A.J. Holiday]

That part.

[Tam Bam]

I don't think that's what they were talking about, though. I think it was sexual.

[A.J. Holiday]

Girl, I. Maybe we talked about this last week. I feel like.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I saw this video where this grandma. He said, grandma, what you think this all mean? She said, I think it's about, like, when society. And you're going through something, you have to go through it and see it through to the other side. So God will take you through there and see you through. I said, hey, man, I like her interpretation. That's. That's what I'm rolling with from now on.

[A.J. Holiday]

But the. In the song say, where we going, twin? So you don't even know where you taking me. But y' all want to be the leader. See, that's.

[Tam Bam]

He's taking you through there. Hell.

[A.J. Holiday]

Taking you through hell. Okay. And it starts with the dicking down.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[A.J. Holiday]

Avoid it.

[Tam Bam]

That have you all messed up. Trust me. I know.

You got any last.

[A.J. Holiday]

What I got for the last. Last sitting. I don't know. Is this something we can even do a last last about? It was fun, I guess. I don't know.

[Tam Bam]

I don't know. I ain't got nothing. Choose wisely. That's all. I have nothing to offer.

[A.J. Holiday]

Yeah. That's all I got. Y' all like this.

I'm sick, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. This is.

[A.J. Holiday]

This is what we getting today. I need to go give me a goddamn. I get no flu shot. I need some herbs. Yep, spices. See, I be healthy as long as I don't go around people. Soon as I go outside a little bit too much, that's what happened.

[Tam Bam]

That's everybody.

[A.J. Holiday]

Though I'd rather stay in my house. I never caught a cold in my house.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, most people don't when they buy it.

[A.J. Holiday]

All right y'. All. If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the black effect iHeartradio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This is your co host, AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagram.

[Tam Bam]

All right, y'. All. It's official. Tam Bam on Instagram, y'. All. Follow me there. Follow We've talked back Podcast on Instagram. Send us your dumb stories and we love y', all, man. We love y'. All. We appreciate y' all for tuning in every Thursday.

[A.J. Holiday]

Remember, speak now and never hold your choices either or.

You good. We talk back. Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show.

[Commercial Voice]

What a matchup we got, y'.

[A.J. Holiday]

All.

[Commercial Voice]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit Chance echoing drum beatin Everybody showing that school pride. A game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there.

Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo no matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work so grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going with Venmo Stash. A taco in one hand and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back. Nice. Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment and more, pick a bundle with your go tos and start earning cash back at those brands. Earn more cash when you do more with stash. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo Me Stashterms.

[A.J. Holiday]

Amazon Five Star Theater presents real customer reviews performed by Eva Longoria. Tonight's review, SP Sports briefs. Oh boy, where do I even start with these performance mesh boxer briefs. These Boxer briefs are like a magician's trick. You know the one where you go, where did that rabbit come from? So if you're looking for underwear that not only performs well, but also gives your package the attention it deserves, then look no further. Five star Stars Nickalicious Shop the perfect gift this holiday season on Amazon.

Janice Torres here and I'm Austin Hankwitz.

[Commercial Voice]

We host the podcast Mind the Business Small Business Success Stories produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Intuit QuickBooks.

[A.J. Holiday]

We're back for season four to talk to some incredible small business owners.

[Commercial Voice]

The big thing about working at tech.

[Tam Bam]

Is that it's ever evolving, ever changing. Everyone's a rookie. That's how fast the industry is changing. So what I'm really excited about is.

[Commercial Voice]

To be part of that change. So listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Tam Bam]

Get ready for your next TV obsession. All's Fair Starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash Betts, Teyana Taylor. With Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close. A team of fierce female divorce attorneys leave a male dominated firm to start their own. Filled with scandalous secrets and shifting allegiances, both in the courtroom and within their own ranks, these ladies know that lawyers are a girl's best friend. Don't miss the two part season finale of All's Fair on December 9th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. For bundle subscribers, terms apply. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.