Y'all Feel That Too?

Summary

We Talk Back: “Y’all Feel That Too?”

Podcast: We Talk Back
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Network: The Black Effect Podcast Network/IHeartPodcasts
Air Date: May 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the overwhelming exhaustion women—especially Black women—are feeling while trying to balance work, relationships, personal care, and societal pressures. TamBam and AJ, with their signature raw, comedic banter, riff on everything from the expectations set for women in modern life, dating culture, viral social media topics, to managing fatigue in a hustle-centric society. They also offer reflections on how these pressures tie into the cultural and generational challenges, with candid, sometimes hilarious, and always unapologetic honesty.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mother’s Day, Working Woman Woes, and Family Obligations

• AJ discusses her Mother’s Day anxiety—feeling both the societal expectation to buy gifts ("I went and picked that shit up from Sally’s...") and how being childfree interacts with being celebrated as a "mother at heart."
• TamBam reflects on how working more for more money was a "be careful what you wish for" scenario:

  “I asked God for more money, but I should have specified how I wanted it.” (05:17 - TamBam)

• Both touch on the emotional toll of Mother’s Day for women with fertility issues or child loss and the invisible labor mothers perform:

  “That’s an 18 to 20 hour job daily. You never off, you’re never off.” (09:12 - AJ)

2. Viral Social Media Conversation—Chasing Athletes & “Gold Digging” Playbook

• TamBam and AJ break down a (possibly AI-generated) viral Instagram post where one sister instructs another on how to “bag” a professional athlete, revealing problematic stereotypes about Black women.
  • The “playbook” includes being submissive, not humble, hypersexual, and "activating the Shanaynay" in other women.

  “Y’all are assuming all Black women have a Shanaynay in them...” (12:25 - AJ)
  “I can’t not activate my Shanay... if they can play with me.” (15:59 - TamBam)

• The hosts highlight the irony that Black women are often labeled “gold diggers,” rather than the women actually gaming the system:

  “These are others talking about y’ all niggas like this.” (16:06 - AJ)
  “You would not be attracted to these men if they ain’t have the money.” (16:48 - TamBam)

3. Assortative Mating, Self-Perception, and Dating Market Realities

• They discuss a study showing people who think their dating market is “bad” might be aiming too high relative to their desirability, riffing on the Kevin Samuels “sexual marketplace value” concept.

  “Men are way more shallow...a n—a that’s a 2 still wants his woman to be a 10.” (22:47 - AJ)

• The challenge of inflated self-perception among daters is humorously explored, especially women’s expectation that men should always want sex, and how men deal with intimacy:

  “When a man turns down a vagina, women lose their fucking minds.” (24:12 - AJ)

4. Secrets, Grief, & Family Drama—Affairs Revealed After Death

• The hosts react to a story of a woman discovering her late husband’s 25-year affair with his best man:

  “What are you calling for? You need closure still? You got the pictures…” (28:31 - AJ)

• Personal stories follow about infidelity and hidden children revealed after funerals:

  “That’s how this used to go down back in the day when they talk about they want a traditional woman…” (31:01 - AJ)

• Hints at how “traditional” gender roles forced women to endure secrets and betrayal—something the hosts are glad to leave in the past.

5. On Exhaustion and Perpetual Fatigue

• Main theme: overwhelming exhaustion among women is universal, especially for Black women juggling multiple roles.

  “Everybody answers, ‘Girl, I’m so tired. Girl, I’m exhausted. Girl, I need a break.’ Every single woman, not one said she’s well rested and full of life.” (36:07 - TamBam)

• The hosts detail their impossible “task lists”—multi-job hustling, failed self-care, package returns, forgotten social obligations, and parental/friendship duties.
• Social media exacerbates the pressure to keep up, while contributing to “doomscrolling” fatigue:

  “Life just be feeling like one big ass unfinished task nowadays.” (39:59 - AJ) “I just feel like I’m giving 17% of me to everything and nothing is even getting 25.” (40:46 - TamBam)

6. Millennial Burnout and Generational Pressures

• They tie chronic exhaustion to millennial experiences—9/11, housing crisis, student loans, societal instability:

  “We have been scammed…now we all in…I don’t want to say survival mode…The hustle mode.” (46:32 - AJ)

• Hustle/grind culture is examined, with both hosts rejecting the idea that “hustlers” are really getting ahead or living well.
• Anecdotes of everyday overwhelm: failed returns (“I should have my own Fashion Nova yard sale”), Doordash fails, hair appointments, abandoned plans, and dating that feels like an impossible ask.

7. Bodies, Beauty Rituals, and the Strain of Meeting Standards

• They riff on the pain and upkeep of waxing, package returns, and the never-ending cycle of trying to look presentable.
• Aging and the need for hormone therapy and “coochie care” are discussed—AJ shares her mother’s advice about estrogen:

  “My mama would always be like, listen, the coochie don’t be coochie no more. It…just spraying all over the place. Like, your lips disappear, apparently.” (57:44 - AJ)

• Fade from humor to realism: beauty expectations and self-care are another drain, not a respite.

8. Adderall, Stimulants, and Coping Mechanisms

• AJ gets vulnerable about using Adderall to keep up and the harsh withdrawal and reckoning that follows:

  “That is a real narcotic…the withdrawal a little bit…that is a real drug.” (55:02 - AJ)

• Both discuss various supplements, hacks, and the perpetual search for energy—but admit none truly solve the deeper exhaustion.

9. No Magic Solution—But Solidarity & Satirical Advice

• The episode ends not with a pep talk, but a recognition that “self-help” tips rarely solve systemic exhaustion:

  “We just acknowledging that all of us are tired together.” (60:04 - TamBam) “We were not designed to be working like this all day long.” (63:14 - AJ)

• The final, tongue-in-cheek advice:

  “Marry rich. That’s my last one for today.” (63:51 – TamBam)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Millennial Hustle:

  "Millennials in particular...it’s a very special case with us, right? Because they really [bleeped] us over. Like, we have experienced everything and we still surviving." (46:32 - AJ)

• On “Gold Digging” Advice:

  “Be a dumb bitch. I’m about to apply this to my own life.” (15:36 – TamBam, jokingly)

• On Family Secrets After Death:

  “Imagine having to bury a nigga who’s been with another bitch for 10 years and y’ all still married.” (30:04 – AJ)

• On Social Media Fatigue:

  “Everybody be looking so vibrant on there. They got to be tired too...am I not doing enough?” (52:55 – AJ)

• On Women’s Ever-Expanding To-Do Lists:

  “You need something to wake up and something to go to sleep.” (42:01 – TamBam)

• On Exhaustion & No Solution:

  “We were not designed to be working like this all day long... [This] is not a self-help episode, we just acknowledging that all of us are tired together.” (60:04 – TamBam & 63:14 – AJ)

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Key Timestamps

• 03:21: AJ’s Mother’s Day weekend, family Amazon habits, and Mother’s Day gifting woes
• 05:26: TamBam on working more for more money but feeling depleted
• 06:46: Discussion of childlessness, ‘chosen family’ feelings for Mother’s Day
• 09:51: Viral Instagram text thread dissected—how to catch a pro athlete
• 15:36: Satirical banter about adopting “dumb b*tch” tactics
• 21:39: “Assortative mating” and dating market value discussion
• 27:46: Wild story: Wife discovers dead husband’s 25-year secret affair with his best man
• 36:07: TamBam asks: Why is every woman so tired?
• 46:32: Millennial exhaustion and generational hustle breakdown
• 52:55: Social media’s role in exhaustion/comparison
• 57:44: Aging, hormones, and changing bodies conversation
• 63:51: Final advice: “Marry rich” and communal exhaustion acknowledgment

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Summary Takeaways

• Exhaustion is Cultural (and Gendered): TamBam and AJ spotlight the toll of living in a hustle-obsessed, always-on world, especially for Black women.
• From Self-Help to Solidarity: No platitude or hack is offered, just the comfort of shared experience, humor, and a satirical nudge to "marry rich."
• Raw, Honest, Relatable: Listeners will find their own struggles mirrored—and know it’s not just them, it’s the culture.

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Follow-Up:

• Follow @officialtambam and @ajholiday2.0 for more.
• Submit your own questions for future advice/segments.

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For anyone who hasn’t listened:
This episode of “We Talk Back” is part vent-session, part stand-up, and 100% real talk—reminding us that being tired isn’t a personal failing but a collective condition, best met with laughter, honesty, and, when possible, a little rest.

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[Tam Bam]

Y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All, I'm so excited about the fact that Shopify is going to show up at the Black Effect Podcast Festival this year in a really big way. Go to shopify.com Ben if I can do it, trust me, y' all can do it too.

[Kel Penn]

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[AJ Holiday]

Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tam Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who Talk back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, A.J. holiday. What's up, Tam Bam.

[Tam Bam]

That's how I feel. Did that sound sexual? Because it wasn't. It was exhaustion. Is that how you sound when you.

[AJ Holiday]

Why do you want to know? Are you okay?

[Tam Bam]

No, I'm not okay. I'm not okay, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

I love y'. All. Thank y' all for tuning in again this week, coming back to sit with us and talk with us. I appreciate you so, so very much. Aj, what did you do this weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

I did it, too. I took myself out to dinner Saturday night. And, you know, Mother's Day was on Sunday. So Saturday, earlier Saturday, I'm like, man, I get my mom and nothing, girl. So I'm like, let me. I go on Amazon to see what she got in the cart. I just grab everything in there. So she had, like. I sit under hair dryer. So I went and picked that shit up from Sally's. She had, like, tailgate chairs for, you know, to go watch my nephew play football. Now he's at State. So, like, the little bleacher chairs with the cup holders and all this shit and some flowers. That's about it. Yeah. I just got her the stuff that she had in her in the Amazon cart. Because I use her fucking Amazon. I don't understand why multiple households have Amazon prime accounts.

[Tam Bam]

You know what? You're right. Everybody else.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I use my mama so I can see what she.

[Tam Bam]

You know, what you want.

[AJ Holiday]

I can't bear vibrators and like that in the cart. That's about it, man. I ate at a really good. Nice little. Little, I guess, is it four star, five star, whatever, little Italian restaurant this weekend. It's really nice. So that's what I've been doing. Trying to find places I ate at.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Weekends, fat.

[Tam Bam]

And then drink water for seven days.

[AJ Holiday]

See if I can find some millionaires at the goddamn bar.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I needed to do. I need to, like, broaden my horizons. I. What did I do? My sister got her MBA from University of South Carolina.

[AJ Holiday]

Hey.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

So we went. We celebrated her. Her achievement, and then I worked. Because that seems like all I do now is just working, working, working, you know, you just got to be careful what you pray for. Because I asked. I said this before, I think, but I asked God for more money, but I should have specified how I wanted it.

[AJ Holiday]

More free money that I don't have to exert any energy for, you know?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I told you I got my chin done, but it's starting to look like it's been swollen for a long time. I gotta send you this picture, aj, that the doctor sent me from before. Like before Big Mama's house. Okay. But then Mother's Day, I was, I was low key sad on Mother's Day and I had cried a couple times and I kept on acting like it was. I was telling people like pet dander.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, is that why you text me? Yeah, Tammy, text me. She was like, happy Mother's Day, Ashley. Like my whole name and this shit. I'm like, happy Mama Day, Tammy. Yeah. People was hitting me up, telling me, happy Mother's Day. And I appreciate that because I don't have any kids. But I am a mother at heart. So I don't take. I don't like feel like down about it because I don't know, I've already accepted if I might not have a kid on His Realm. And it's fine because this shit is fucking ghetto.

[Tam Bam]

I just thought about all the women that I know that like have lost babies or had, you know, fertility issues. And I just messaged them and I put their name in it on purpose to let them know it was specific to them.

[AJ Holiday]

That's nice.

[Tam Bam]

That's why.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's what it was.

[Tam Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because you like.

[Tam Bam]

Hi.

[AJ Holiday]

I laugh like out loud too. Like I just saw this post on Instagram today and this girl was saying how she has real life. Like she was like, I like kids, but I don't. I'm afraid to have a kid because I can't imagine having a kid and not having like end up by myself with this kid. So it's a lot of anxiety. It's a grown ass woman too. She looked like she bout our age, but you know, she's talking about motherhood and having children and just the fear of. Because of her experiences in relationships and other people experiences. That's why I say you get me pregnant and you think you're going somewhere, you better take that baby with you. I am leaving. How I came and I did not come with a fucking kid.

[Tam Bam]

That's really how I feel.

[AJ Holiday]

That was in your body first. Like you spit up and produce that thing. And I just like cultivated it a little bit. But really it's yours. Like it's both of ours, but it's really yours. Yeah, but I felt that shit like deep down. And you know, nobody says that loud thing, that silent that. That loud thing out loud. Like it's very like scary. That is a. That's That's a fear of mine. For sure. For sure. Like, just picking wrong, choosing wrong things is all good. And then it's just not.

[Tam Bam]

I just can't. Like, sometimes I really want to be a mom. And then today I worked all day doing the inspections and then my best friend is a mom. And on Mother's Day, she was just not having the best Mother's Day. And she was like, and now we gotta take her hair down and do her hair. And I just don't feel like it. And I was like, just rest. I'm gonna make her a hair appointment to get her hair braided and I'm gonna take her. And today I actually had to do that shit. I was like, oh my God. God, I couldn't imagine being nobody mama. I just want to go lay down. I got cramps.

[AJ Holiday]

That overextended yourself, child.

[Tam Bam]

Exactly. But you know, that's what mommies do, so.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, and them mamas be doing it, man, like, and they do be like, tired. That's why I always, when I see stuff like with men saying things like the niggas that's on child support or even the men who like, fit the whole bill of a woman's life, but she's at home with kids, that's an 18 to 20 hour job daily. You never off, you're never off. And I just don't think they don't, they don't consider that shit right or respect it.

[Tam Bam]

They think it's easy.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that shit is not easy.

[Tam Bam]

And then I, you know, I got my mom an outfit, a purse, and gave her some money for Mother's Day. She needed some looks, but she said the shirt too little in the pants too big, but that was it. Let's get in the sins, let's get into it.

[AJ Holiday]

So I saw this post on Instagram and it's allegedly, you know, right now with, with AI. I just don't know what's what. Right. Are people creating things for likes, clicks and, and you know, sharing and, you know, give people comment. I, I don't know what's what. But anyway, this says, and it's in the illustration. We don't know the. I believe these are real people. Right. But are these the people in the situation? We don't know. So it says, leaked messages show woman teaching younger sister how to get an NFL or NBA level athlete while in college. So it's a text thread. So little sister messages and said, I want a football player, NFL preferably. She put like the little evil, little evil emojis, crying emojis A tall chocolate one is what she said. And she said, I like. She said, like, you did. I want your life is what she said. So the sister text back and said, that's easy. With a thumbs up. A white thumbs up.

[Tam Bam]

Sorry, I'm trying to read it.

[AJ Holiday]

That's my shit, bitch.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I like it.

[AJ Holiday]

And, you know, I haven't listened to the whole song yet. I just hear it on Instagram. I literally have not, like, went to Apple and typed it in. Listen, I'm kind of like a JT fan, you know, like Karisha. I like Karisha, but, like, I'm kind of like, more of a JT fan. But that song sounds really lit.

[Tam Bam]

I like it.

[AJ Holiday]

And I haven't listened to it yet. But anyway, so big sis thumbs up and says, but you have to play your cards right. You can't be an emotional little girl. And the scissors said, teach me. And here goes what the big sister, you know, says she needs to do to get her NFL player, you know, preferably a chocolate one. Number one, he's the prize. Remember, he can change your life, you can't change his. Okay. Number two, don't humble yourself. Right. Okay. Dealing with cheating, don't look for it. Girls will throw themselves at him, and some will succeed. If it's just a fling, let it go. But don't let him get emotionally attached to one of them p. S. He'll always be attracted to black girls. Activate that Shanae Nay in your. In. In. In her by picking at what? Wait, wait. Activate Dasha Nae nae in her by picking at her and let him see it. He'll ditch her quick. Oh, okay. So basically, trigger the other bitch and she'll get ratchet. And then. So these aren't black women.

[Tam Bam]

These are. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Or others. So basically, you remember what the. The guy that Taylor Swift is with right now. Remember his ex girlfriend was black.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

And it wasn't Taylor Swift directly picking at her, but everybody else was. So were they trying to, like, activate the DNA to get spit on? Because she should have. And I'm pretty sure Taylor Swift probably was doing some little underhanded, little discreet. We don't know about, because those is sharks.

[Tam Bam]

Her name was, like, Crystal or something like that. You remember travel, Travis, Kelsey.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, the podcast and stuff now.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I forgot her name, though. Fine girl. Isn't. Isn't she the girl who was dancing to Tony Braxton? Yes, she was.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. And she put her leg up for us at the Usher concert.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, no. It says if she's like Us, it'll be harder because this is really racist. Yeah, if she's like us, it'll be harder because more than likely she's playing to win him. To make him choose. Number three, being a. Be an asset. So wait a minute. Let me back up real quick, real quick. So y' all are assuming that all black women have a Shanaynay in them, and then if they don't, they're like, y', all, girl, these is nuts. This better be AI. It says, be an asset to him. Fold his clothes. Buy and bring him his food. Do his homework. Completely integrate it. Completely integrate yourself in his life to where he can't function without you. Number four, don't embarrass him. Don't cheat. Don't text other men. His cute friends and teammates will try you. Ignore. Ignore it. Just in case the relationship goes south, another athlete will see you as gold. Go completely wild on him in bed. Use throat spray. Do any and everything. Be spontaneous. Make it go down anytime, anywhere. Number six, his mom. I don't know. What is this? Do not tell his mom any.

[Tam Bam]

Keep going. This another screen.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. His mom, Lex is his. Lexi.

[Tam Bam]

Oh, that's his house.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. His mom, Lexi. Don't tell his mom any personal information, especially something negative. She will tell his entire family, and he'll blame you. Just smile, wave, and be quiet. Number seven. Always look good and appealing. Hair and face always has to be done. Push for marriage or at least to have multiple kids. And you got him in two years, on draft day, you'll be a millionaire, and all your friends will work hard in school to literally never live the life you live. It's so sweet and rewarding. Lex, I'm in Cancun right now, and little sister sends, like, a little commercial. I mean, a cartoon, like, laughing on the bed. Very, very interesting. You know, I mean, I get the tactics, right? Be a dumb bitch.

[Tam Bam]

I'm about to apply this to my own life. The fuck

[AJ Holiday]

my problem is.

[Tam Bam]

I just.

[AJ Holiday]

I can't pretend like I like you if I don't. For money. I just can't. You have to be aesthetically pleasing to me. I'm not a fun girl in that way. That just sounds like a fun girl. I'm too serious for that type of shit.

[Tam Bam]

I can't not activate my Shanay. So you're there because they can play with me.

[AJ Holiday]

Triggered all day, Right? This is. This is very interesting, but, you know, black women get labeled as the gold diggers, or. Or I guess maybe men don't think we can be the Gold diggers. Like, I don't know. Maybe we don't have the right to be the gold diggers is like they just always want to humble black when these are others talking about y' all niggas like this. Okay. Because it is y' all niggas, mostly football players that they are coming at knowing you stupid. And you would not have had access to them if you ain't have the money. And y' all fall right for it.

[Tam Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

Because now you're giving a bitch half your check.

[Tam Bam]

These guys would never, you know if they work at the Jiffy Lube. That's my always go to shout out to Jiffy Lube. But y' all would not be attracted to these men. It's just about the money. It's strictly about the money. Mm mm.

[AJ Holiday]

And dick. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, they had that on in there too. But very interesting. Very, very, very interesting. I'm sorry.

[Tam Bam]

I'm yawning into the mic. Wow. I don't even know what to say. I mean, I hope. Do you even think that's real?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I mean it's a text thread. So I mean, I guess you can generate Apple text thread on chat GPT or you can sit there and text between two cell phones like your self and put it on the Internet. I don't know. But I can imagine that being a conversation for sure. Right. But I. It would be a phone conversation. I'm not texting all that shit for somebody to possibly put on the Internet. I'll be telling my losses. This what you do.

[Tam Bam]

That was a lot of texting.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. One, two.

[Tam Bam]

And why your sister don't know you in Cancun. But I guess everybody and their sister don't talk all the time. I know where I can look at my phone and know where my sister at right now.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. I don't know. I don't know if it's. If it's legitimate or not. But the shenanig it just. It sounds like Russia. Russia. Russia. It sounds like they are putting out like some propaganda.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

Again, so we don't we talk back. Scott, what's his name. Todd set this whole up to come to us with the for sure because

[AJ Holiday]

we gonna talk about it.

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

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comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis not someone else's good. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures.

[Tam Bam]

All right, this one was interesting to me because I thought, is this me? All right. Study says adults that think their dating market is bad aren't as desirable as they think they are and maybe aiming too high. Tens match with tens, fives match with fives.

[AJ Holiday]

So I always be like, know your hollow level.

[Tam Bam]

Research on assortive. Assorted Assortative. Is that how you pronounce it?

[AJ Holiday]

Assortive?

[Tam Bam]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

Assort maybe. I think they misspelled. Go ahead.

[Tam Bam]

Okay. Mating shows that an individual success in the dating market is fundamentally limited by their own desirability. People who are physically attractive, financially successful, and have higher overall mate value are better able to win overly highly desirable partners. The principle is straightforward. Tens match with tens and fives match with fives. Blah, blah, blah. There's a lot up here. But this made me think like, do I think I'm a better bitch than I might than I am? No.

[AJ Holiday]

But this is what Kevin Samuels used to be talking about. Like your, your hollow level. Essentially your hollow level. But he called it your. Is it sexual marketplace something. Marketplace something. Like they. I mean, and, and I understand, right? This is why I always say I think men are way more shallow than women. Like I think a Nigga that's a 2 still wants his woman to be a 10. He wants to have access to tens. I think women are kind of more inclined to like settle for somebody at their level or less. Black men in particular are highly hypergamous too. They want with money.

[Tam Bam]

They do.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, the average man wants a woman with some type of resource. May it be your network or actual money? Okay, yes. As a dating app, study found that people who perceive themselves as having higher vat, higher mate value or being more sexually attractive were significantly more likely to match with individuals that found they found attractive. People with higher self perceived desirability had better success because they had more options available to him available to them. The inverse is also true. If you think the dating market is bad, it might be a signal about your own position in the market rather than a statement about the market itself. Self research Specifically examined whether high mate value men and women had different preferences when choosing partners. The findings show that particularly high mate value individuals could attract partners across multiple dimensions. Because they have more choice, high value partners can be more selective about finding someone who checks multiple boxes. Meanwhile, someone lower on the desirability spectrum has to make a trade off and a set more limited options. I do think some women have a inflated sense of like sexy smart likability. Like I do think so. Like we. Because we have a vagina, right? When a man turns down a vagina, women lose their fucking minds. Because damn you at least a man at least wants to fuck you. But what happens when he doesn't? Bitches lose their mind.

[Tam Bam]

I would not know.

[AJ Holiday]

I'd rather a man not fuck me than have sex with me and don't want to. Yes. Oh yeah.

[Tam Bam]

Do you think niggas is passing out pity dick?

[AJ Holiday]

No, I think niggas want the pussy, they just don't want you after it. Not you. I mean in you, plural. Not you, you, you. I think we talked about this before. How women will friend zone a man. They're not going to have sex with him and friends on them, right? We could be friends, but I'm not trying to fudge. But men will fudge you and then try to friends on you or ghost you. You know what I'm saying? So the integrity is out the fucking window. For real. They just.

[Tam Bam]

What if you were like trying to have sex with someone and it was like I don't think we should.

[AJ Holiday]

I think the older men get, the less they like just be wanting to just be fucking frivolously also just like women, they can't. What are we doing? Right.

[Tam Bam]

I don't think it's that up until I don't think they mean anymore.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. I think men get to a place where they don't want a bunch of different coochie juice and they pubes. Yeah. You know, because when I think about sex I'd be like, do I want this sweating on me? That's how I like would I let that sweat on me? That's really how I think about it. So men like, they probably don't want like some. They really don't like like juices on them and they probably come and be disgusted shortly thereafter.

[Tam Bam]

I need, no, I need to hear it from a man.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean I talk to men. I talk to men. So I mean, I know, I know they'll. Somebody they're not attractive to, attracted to. They will definitely do that. Like it's Nothing. They only want you to trip after they play with you, too. Like, just. Yeah, I got your. And go ahead about your business.

[Tam Bam]

Yikes.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, but that's what happens when you don't establish nothing else and you giving somebody some coochie. What did they do for the coochie?

[Tam Bam]

Nothing.

[AJ Holiday]

Text you what you doing? Wyd wydo ass for three weeks. And you gave him the coochie? Like you're supposed to get played a little bit.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Go ahead. All right, so this one is kind of sad, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tam Bam]

All right. It says this woman found out her dead husband had a 25 year affair with his best man after discovering secret polaroids and love letters between the two of them. So it says a woman discovered her husband had been secretly involved with his best friend for their entire 25 year marriage after he died in a car accident. According to the viral Facebook post, she found old polaroids, love letters, and text messages hitting among his belongings while going through his things after the funeral. The friend, who was also the best man at their wedding, has reportedly stopped answering her calls since the discovery.

[AJ Holiday]

What are you calling for? You need closure still. You got the pictures. When you want him to apologize or something, he on to the next dick.

[Tam Bam]

I don't even. That's a movie.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tam Bam]

You just don't. No people for real.

[AJ Holiday]

Nobody. And then, I mean, they die or they go to jail and now you literally get to clean out their closet and see all the things.

[Tam Bam]

See all the things.

[AJ Holiday]

I've seen it happen in real time once. Not on no gay shit. But my cousin, she's an older cousin too. She might have been in her mid-50s at this time. And this is probably like 10 years ago. I'm at my dad's house and she lived on the street over and paramedics running down, you know, zooming down the street or whatever. And my little cousin called me and was like, her. Mind you, this was somebody else's husband that she had been with for a decade, right? But he was still married to his ex wife. But he died in the house.

[Tam Bam]

In her house.

[AJ Holiday]

And I walked, yeah, he. I mean, they lived together. Okay, so he passed away. And I watched her face go from crying to fucking furious because she going through this nigga's cell phone and they haven't even taken his body out the house yet. And his wife gets all the money and all that shit. She did bury him. At least the wife. Imagine you had to bury a nigga who been with another bitch for 10 years and y' all still married.

[Tam Bam]

Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

Well, I saw that wasn't your nigga in the first place. So why you mad about the phone?

[Tam Bam]

Where this man, he was on his deathbe good man, family man. Everybody loved him. He was dying, all the family was around him. And he had an 18 year old son walk in that nobody knew about. And the son was like, he's been a part of my life, my whole life. That's my daddy. And the brothers and sisters didn't know about him. The wife didn't know about him. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So why you wait till he died and make yourself known? And how did he find out his dad died?

[Tam Bam]

He was. He was on his deathbed. So he wasn't dead yet. He was coming to like say goodbye to his father, but I don't think they lived in the same. I don't think he.

[AJ Holiday]

You know these people.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah,

[AJ Holiday]

that's how this used to go down back in the day when they. When they talk about they want a traditional woman. This is what traditional women used to have to deal with. Your husband having a whole nother family and you don't find out about it until the funeral. And now these different people who look like that. Pulling up family is very important. Men don't realize like doing like that. Like, what if you need bone marrow for the kids you actually take care of and you got a whole kid over here, you ain't with like that on a daily basis. And that kid could save this kid's life if it was a match. This. That is why family is very important. If you up, just own up to it. Don't be jump kicking pregnant bitches in the street and getting 25 years in prison.

[Tam Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, just tell your you don't shoot women. That girl just got murdered in Atlanta. Got pregnant and the guy shot her.

[Tam Bam]

Was it a guy? Oh, they found out who shot her.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, I thought they knew. You think it was a girl?

[Tam Bam]

Sometimes I feel like it might have been a woman because they shot her in the face. So many things.

[AJ Holiday]

It might have been a woman.

[Tam Bam]

Exactly.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. Like, just own up to your shit and listen. Men run. Men can really run relationships if they just be men, right? So, yeah, your wife ain't sign up for that and be like, baby, this I love you and I love her. I'm.

[Tam Bam]

I'm about to go get two more

[AJ Holiday]

jobs and we're gonna all be good. Need to hear like, we just want to know you're gonna keep paying bills and I'm. You're not gonna miss a beat over here. I'M talking about back then, but amazing.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, I better say back then.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't try that now. My got their own money.

[Tam Bam]

Get. But imagine finding out that you, your husband, has been his best man for 25 years.

[AJ Holiday]

That's just scary, man. I be using my pendulum on. I will literally pull my pendulum out and ask if a nigga's gay and see what it says.

[Tam Bam]

I will put on some gay on TV and grab a dick when the gay scene happens.

[AJ Holiday]

You like that?

[Tam Bam]

Did you end it in or not?

[AJ Holiday]

But that's fucked up, man, because, you know, like, I don't know. I'm not. That's gonna get dark. That is kind of fucked up though, because, I mean, it is a sexual act, right? So just because the penis gets hard doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. You think?

[Tam Bam]

So if he wants. If it's two men having a sexual experience on TV and you reach down and your dick hard, that don't mean he like, intergate.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm not a lesbian and never with a. But if I'm watching porn, it's two and a man. Like, I might my person.

[Tam Bam]

All right, Just two, huh? It's two girls on there.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, two pictures in the. No, no, no, no. Because I like a little orgy situation and Rico life. All right? You putting on straight out gay just like two men. Okay, yeah. If he don't punch you in the face, he might be. I listen, I won't put on.

[Tam Bam]

I won't put on porn. I'll put on like Brokeback Mountain or P Valley. All right?

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, when I was living in Atlanta in the early 2000 1100s, girl, this dude paid me to. To beat it while he watched bisexual porn.

[Tam Bam]

Gay

[AJ Holiday]

big time. But give me that. Give me that motherfucking money, though. So I have to go to work today. That was my whole life, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

But I was living in Atlanta and my fucking 20s, bitch. Gas was. I was spending. Gas was high like it is right now. And I was living 45 minutes from my house. I was paying 600amonth for gas. Okay, give me that money. Yeah, come. So that was my one whole moment, I guess. I don't know. I didn't smash one. I just. I just beat it for him right quick to the G. I could not believe when he put it in. And you know, I don't know why I am. I have experienced some, like. I think I just make people feel that comfortable that they can do some shit like that. Because you didn't even pre warn me. You didn't Say, hey, I like bisexual shit. You just put it in. And I'm seeing bitches strapping niggas up, niggas sucking dick like it was. I'm like, okay, this who you into? Put the money on the counter. And your secret is safe for me because I would never tell anybody. You would first.

[Tam Bam]

Until we talk back. Podcast.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, shame. I remember that name, too.

[Tam Bam]

What is it? Psych.

[AJ Holiday]

Don't do that, I tell you.

[Tam Bam]

No, that's okay.

[AJ Holiday]

People knew that in Atlanta, too.

[Tam Bam]

I respect everybody's king. What are we talking about today? Y' all know, girl, exhaustion. I listen every woman I ask, like, how you doing? Everybody answers, girl, I'm so tired, girl. I'm exhausted, girl, I need a break. Every single woman I have not talked to one person, one bitch. And she was like, I'm well rested and full of life. Not one.

[AJ Holiday]

That's sad, man.

[Tam Bam]

So we're gonna talk about it right after this break.

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[Tam Bam]

All right, so we're back, y', all, and I just have a question. Why is everybody so tired?

[AJ Holiday]

I know, man. Life just be feeling like one big ass unfinished task nowadays.

[Tam Bam]

Like, seriously, it's like, do you ever feel like everything is done?

[AJ Holiday]

Never. I mean, and that's why. Like when you ask me, how was your weekend? It's like, bitch, I ain't doing. Because why? Why do I have to have a thing that I have done every single week? Like, I like to lay it out. I make it very known because during the week I am stretched very, very fucking thin.

[Tam Bam]

Very thin.

[AJ Holiday]

And it's like those, the weekend is just, it's not long enough. You know what I'm saying? Like, I need a two week vacation right now and that's not enough. I need a vacation. After the vacation, I need to just be rich. Like, what the fuck man?

[Tam Bam]

I just, I just feel like I'm giving 17% of me to everything and nothing is getting even. 25. Nothing. Not my fitness, not my health, not this show, not the new job, not my home. Not nothing. Mm.

[AJ Holiday]

It's a trade off. You know what I'm saying? It's like a trade off for if you, if you, if you're working a lot, making more money, you can't get to the gym as much. Right. Okay.

[Tam Bam]

That is it.

[AJ Holiday]

You can't eat the well balanced meals like you would usually when I wasn't working. I won't say that. I just. Because I've been on here saying how I want to be skinny for five years now. It hasn't happened. And I listen I have plenty of time to do the things. So now I'm gonna just do liquid lipo. I've been thinking about doing that. Just. I don't know. I. I will. I have more energy if my bag wasn't as big.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I want to know.

[AJ Holiday]

And I feel like I'm sub. I'm supplementing time in life and I'm literally like supplementing like I have. I take so many supplements daily to stay going.

[Tam Bam]

You need something to wake up and something to go to sleep. That's how.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Yes.

[Tam Bam]

It's so bad. I'll be like, okay, my house is clean. But now my car looks like. Like there's bird on it. There's a bunch of stuff in the car. I cleaned the car out. Now I need a full clothes. Like it's just always something that's not done. My hair. I need a pedicure. My coochie wax. But my, my you know, like my edges and something. You know, it's just.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, let me tell you. I was using my class pass and I needed to use my credits because I pay 60amonth for class pass for 28 credits a month. And I can't ever use all my credits. Like I do the yoga on the weekend but I'm always rolling over at least 28 credits. You can't roll over no more than that. Right. So every month I got at least like now I gotta. When they start doubling up, I gotta figure out something to do. So I went and got a fucking wax on Friday week before last. I haven't had my coochie wax since I lived in Charlotte. When I tell y' all that was some excruciating pain. Now I just even moisturizing. Yeah I'd be moisturizing the out my now because what I read was that it helps it you know, not hurt as bad when they using like the hard wax. When it's when the follicle is more moisturized. Making sure I put olive oil and coconut oil and on my coochie. But that hurts the we go through to. To give a. A smooth landing, you know. And I wasn't even.

[Tam Bam]

I just tried trying to use cash pass no more. I will narrow this if I'm about To give it away real quick. And then the rest of the time it just do whatever it's gonna do.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, you're a real hoe. If your pussy always ready. Like, I gotta. I gotta. My gotta marinade. I gotta. I need two weeks advance notice. Like. Yeah, my pussy is not always ready. Like, if you. You can take it. How it come, though?

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

You cool with that?

[Tam Bam]

I ain't never had suffocation. Like, what's up this ball? What's up this ball that now feels like weirdly exhausted to you?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't. I don't be feeling like you're responding to text messages.

[Tam Bam]

That's a good.

[AJ Holiday]

I remember when I used to be looking at your phone and you'd have like, you would show me, like, how many, like, my phone look like that now. And it's between, like, real people and Fashion Nova, right? And all these other shit I didn't sign up for. My fucking email is a mess. Instagram inbox is a fucking mess. Like, I can't get to people, like, to respond to people or engage with people.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah, it's too much. Let me tell you the thing that be up my life returning packages. Oh, my God. Your returns is taking me out. Like, it's so much sitting in the corner right now that need to go back that I just haven't had the bandwidth to. I should have like my own Fashion Nova sale in the yard.

[AJ Holiday]

Do it.

[Tam Bam]

Do it on Instagram Story I got for real. Like, seriously, I got so much shit that I haven't returned. I got some of this. Like, I done bought the same thing two or three times, forgetting that I bought it already and none of it's been worn. Cause it don't fit when it comes. Stupid.

[AJ Holiday]

For the damn Black Effect podcast festival, I ordered so much shit off of Fashion Nova. Y' all know they do not do cash refunds. I got like $600 in store credit right now. And I had to send all that shit back. And I don't really want nothing else from y' all because it's like, it's so. It's so too hit or miss sometimes. Like, imagine ordering all that and one thing fit. The one thing I wore. And now I got store credit for $1,000. Forever the running. That's a real.

[Tam Bam]

So real scouting up.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And then you got to package this shit up. You got to get to UPS store before 6 o' clock or. Or wherever you returning your shit at. You got to tape it up. Got to scan the fucking barcode like I. And you got to see, make sure they actually give you your money back. Because I don't even know if they even fund me yet. I haven't looked to see if I got my gift cards yet. So it's a whole. I agree with you. It's a whole thing.

[Tam Bam]

But were we always running on E like this, or is it something like going on in our culture, in American culture that's turning us into these monsters that are constantly going, going, going, going, going, going.

[AJ Holiday]

I think the millennials in particular, like, it's a very special case with us, right? Because they really us over. Like, we have experienced everything and we still surviving. Right? Okay, we can start with 9 11.

[Tam Bam]

Okay?

[AJ Holiday]

I remember my last year of high school. I was planning to go into the military until 9 11. I had an early out and the fucking twin tires towers was coming down. Okay? Like our. That. That shit. I watched gas go from, you know, $2 to $5 that day, right? So we experience that bullshit, the housing crisis, then they tell us to go to fucking college. Now we got all these student loans. Now we can't even get the job to pay the student loans off to even be able to afford a fucking house. Now, like, we have been scammed. So now we all in, like, I don't want to say survival mode, because I do not subscribe to that, but. And I don't like hustle mode, because I don't like, if I feel like I'm hustling, I'm doing nothing, I'm not gonna do nothing. Like, I'm just gonna.

[Tam Bam]

That's what I feel like I'm doing all day long.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I don't want to hustle. I'm not a hustler in that way because I feel like most hustlers are running around in circles. That's how I want one task and focus on that and execute that.

[Tam Bam]

Y'. All. This is how my days are. Have been going. All right? It just depends on what job I'm doing that day for. That day I'll get up and do these housing inspections. Then on my lunch break, I'll try to find something to eat and I'll sit in the car and connect my computer to my phone so I can send emails for the other job during the lunch break. So I'm trying to eat something, and I'm sending emails for these webinars during the lunch break. And then if I got a minute, oh, I still got to record a motherfucking podcast. So let me think about what the fuck.

[AJ Holiday]

We're gonna talk about our weekends that we non existent weekends where we don't

[Tam Bam]

get to do shit. Then after that I'll, I'll get off from doing that. And then, oh, guess what? You booked two hair appointments.

[AJ Holiday]

So now you gotta go to that other job and then.

[Tam Bam]

And do two. Two sew ins. And then. Oh, you're also trying to be a good friend. Oh, you want to be a good daughter too. Oh, your sisters are going through a crisis. Like it's just too much. Oh, you're a God mommy. Show up, show up, show up, show up, show up. And then I got the nerve to agree to be on the reality show. So now we haven't filmed with you. Tammy, we need you to come. We need you to like, you need to be there. Bitch, when? How y' all just gonna have to follow me.

[AJ Holiday]

Can I send my surrogate? Can I send another bitch who look like me a little somewhere? I'm gonna have to send another bitch somewhere. What we doing? Yeah, man, like, did you cooking every day, you know, think about what you're gonna eat.

[Tam Bam]

Doordash, get all my money. Lately I've been doordashing and it'd always be wrong. I got so much doordash credit, like you got fashion nova credit. Because I never get the right meal. There's always something wrong. So lately I've been trying to cook and eat, but then it be bullshit. I'd be cooking because I don't want to spend the whole time like taco salad. See, I done had every salad y' all can think of. Chicken fever salad, taco salad, black and blue salad, everything you can think of. Then I ain't said nothing about no. Cause when do I have time to date?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I'm in a drought right now, child. My nigga busy, my nigga busy. And we in a long distance relationship. So I'm like, hello, right? Can I get you on a Sunday? You know what I'm saying?

[Tam Bam]

This guy, really nice guy, asked me to go on a nice date and I said yes. And then when it was time to go on a date, I had to cancel on him because I just did not have the bandwidth or the energy to put on clothes.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's one of those small tasks that feels impossible.

[Tam Bam]

Planning, getting dressed.

[AJ Holiday]

How you tired of planning? Like, I don't like feeling like committed to anything. So that's the problem, like in life, right? I don't like commitment, for real. So when I plan to do something, it gotta be something like that super spectacular that I really, really, really wanna do because I. I can't even find myself like to do. I can't make myself do shit I wanna do. Sometimes I wanna do that and I just can't do it.

[Tam Bam]

I wanted to go on that date, but I could not be bothered. And I FaceTimed him so he could see what it was really giving. He was like, damn, you look beat down, bro. It is.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man.

[Tam Bam]

And then I was looking through my phone at the pictures that I had been taking over the last couple weeks. I look tired as fuck in all the pictures.

[AJ Holiday]

That's how I feel, girl. I'd be in here still doing my shadow work, looking like, girl, you like your grandmama. I mean, pushing my cheeks to make sure I still got elasticity and shit like that. Because I got rings around my eyes. Like I'm trying to be natural. It's showing. The stress is showing, man.

[Tam Bam]

It is, it really is showing for me. And.

[AJ Holiday]

But one thing I will say is that the doom scrolling. I really gotta stop it because I do have time. Okay. Kind of. Right. If I can spend two hours scrolling on fucking Instagram laying in the bed, I could have done something else right, you know? And I feel like sometimes when you, you have an over, you have asleep too much to where you tired. I think you can lay down too much to where you like tired, tired laying down.

[Tam Bam]

No, I would love to try it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. I feel like I felt, I have felt tired from sleeping.

[Tam Bam]

I. Last two Wednesdays ago, I was able to not set an alarm clock. That was nice.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And then social media, like everybody be looking so vibrant on there. They got to be tired too. Am I not doing enough? You know, sometimes I feel like I might. Am I not doing enough? And I'm. And I'm. I'm feeling like I'm doing enough. A lot of shit, but am I not doing enough? Because it's like other people look like they could do more or they're doing more.

[Tam Bam]

I, I want to like, I really want to create content for like social media for our show. I really want to do that. Somebody help. We just need help with that, you know, it's just, everybody's tired. It's not just us. Everybody's fucking tired. But the mamas. The mamas is next level tired.

[State Farm Ad Voice Female]

I'm sorry.

[Tam Bam]

The mamas who are working too. The mamas who ain't working is tired.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I don't know. I. I don't know. I don't know. I guess is this. I was talking to my mom one day and the same thing I said to you just now. I was Like, I don't like the hustler hustle. She was. Like, when I was young, I could just do anything. I just. I. I never had that type of stamina as a. As an adult. I never. Like, I have been tired for a long time. Maybe it's a parasite. I mean, I do do parasite cleansers. I go get the colonic and all that shit, but I still be fucking tired all the time. Like, I just really be having to push through. Like, really, really, really push through. And y'. All. For a while, like, I had Adderall, right? That was helping a lot. And what I realized in February, when I, like, you know, stop taking the Adderall, that is a real narcotic. That is a real drug. I found myself in here going through withdrawal a little bit. Like, I was super slow and lethargic. Like, I really had to, like, fight, and I. I want something. I want to. I want to have more energy, but naturally. Yeah, like, Adderall gives you energy, but it also makes you, like, hone in on the task. Like, you don't feel exhausted doing a thing, and then you just. You just. It's like a puzzle.

[Tam Bam]

Adderall is like the limitless crack to me because.

[AJ Holiday]

And I was only taking a fourth of it. So imagine, like, the people who take a pill and a half or 60 milligrams of alcohol. Like, y' all are really drug seekers.

[Tam Bam]

How come if you're taking that much Adderall, you need to fix the economy? Because I think you should have. You're not rich, right? Mental capacity for that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you're not rich, but that is a real drug. Like, your body becomes dependent on it. And I really was Feel, like, ill. Yeah. And I'm walking around like, what, bitch? Girl, I went to the doctor. I thought I had some shit going on for real, but I had to think like that as that fucking methamphetamine. It's a real drug.

[Tam Bam]

So, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So without the Adderall, it's even more of a struggle. But I'm getting there. I did buy some over the counter. It's a. It's a nootropic. Also, gorilla mind is supposedly, like, more natural.

[Tam Bam]

So that.

[AJ Holiday]

Give me, like, a little. Pick me up a little bit, girl. Hold on. Let me back up a little bit. And I know y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Tammy be looking at me because she'd be like, 45 minutes. She only want to give y' all 45 minutes. But one of the listeners. Sweet girl. Damn. What is this girl named? Hey, girl.

[Tam Bam]

If you listen Bitch. But hold on. I'm sorry to interrupt, but we were supposed to have people calling us this week. I just thought about that. We gonna do it next week. I promise y', all.

[AJ Holiday]

For sure. My baby. My b. Next time.

[Tam Bam]

So.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, what's the day? Oh, Dolly birthday today. Happy birthday, Dolly. Yeah, I saw that on social media.

[Tam Bam]

Happy birthday, Dolly.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, so what's this? Her Instagram. Hold on. Because I want to shout her out. Hold on.

[Tam Bam]

Finish your thought before you do it.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, her name is Jakia. She always sends me voicemails, too. And I'll listen to them, but I'm like, it took me a couple days. And I'll be like, hey, I saw the voicemail, but I gotta be still to listen. But anyway, she was like, y' all need to talk about this on the show because. So why did one of my. I think we might have mentioned this before because I know my mom told me that your pussy no longer looks like a pussy. Okay. The older you get. So you need to start using estrogen around 35. Like, the estrogen, I guess it's like, suppository. I don't know exactly if it's a cream or whatever, but my mama would always be like, listen, the coochie don't be coochie no more. And you be like, when you use the bathroom, that should be just spraying all over the place. So, like, your lips disappear, apparently.

[Tam Bam]

What? Listen, I don't have the time. I do not.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, they just, like, shrivel up and it no longer looks like, you know, a nice, plump vagina anymore. Like, I mean, have you. I don't. Do you look at your coochie. I've noticed that my lips aren't as firm as they were when I was younger.

[Tam Bam]

Well, I always thought it was ugly.

[AJ Holiday]

I never thought my coochie was ugly, per se. Now I know.

[Tam Bam]

I always.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm always working on all coochie.

[Tam Bam]

They're ugly.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, all coochie's ugly.

[Tam Bam]

They look like an alien. Alien face.

[AJ Holiday]

Oyster clam.

[Tam Bam]

That's how I know we're aliens is because of our genitals. All of us.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. And, you know, certain seafoods, you eat, you turn into a mermaid. Pussy stink, right?

[Tam Bam]

Asparagus eat right.

[AJ Holiday]

You are what you eat all the time. So, yeah, don't ask. Gotta get the estrogen. And that's another thing you got to add to your list. Y' all to worry about. Okay?

[Tam Bam]

And when things were already stressful enough, now my vagina is gonna get uglier.

[AJ Holiday]

It's gonna Disappear the lips.

[Tam Bam]

I will get a vaginal rejuvenation and get new lips. I don't have.

[AJ Holiday]

Where you gonna get the lips from? They do Botox down there.

[Tam Bam]

That's how they do it. Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea.

[AJ Holiday]

They do filler. Why you be walking around a big fat. We like them Asians. Them Asians got that little fake they be putting on in the leggings. You having an aloe outfit with this big fat. That is so nasty. Why the would y' all create a fat pussy? Like who? Like y' all created a camel toe. Is the weird. Yeah.

[Tam Bam]

No, I'm not putting no Botox in my coochie lips. That would look crazy. What was the neighborhood last movie? One day at a time.

[AJ Holiday]

Come on, let's go. Yeah, man, it's just, it's just a bit much. It's just a bit much. Okay, so I mean, I guess we should have probably like come with some advice possibly.

[Tam Bam]

I.

[AJ Holiday]

You know what? I'm not.

[Tam Bam]

I just don't want to even pretend to be a self help. This ain't no self help episode. We just acknowledging that all of us are tired together. Okay?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man. One small inconvenience going to be a fight, man. I can't take nothing else. I don't know. I think we need less work days for most middle class people. I don't know, I just, I don't know. Like you're, you're working a full time job and then you're also trying to create, right. So then you can get away from this thing. But working for yourself is more work. But I guess it might be a little bit more fulfilling because it's, you know, for you, for yourself. So I don't know. I, I wish, I just, I do just want to be a professional millionaire. That is goals.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. I don't wanna. They asked me what was my dream job today while we were inspecting these homes. That was like we're really busy because what the. I don't dream of labor buyers.

[AJ Holiday]

To layer to labor. Yeah. To do that. Yeah. I don't know. I think also, you know, social media made a lot of people feel behind in life, you know what I'm saying? Like most millionaires, you might, you might get that, that million dollar idea in your 40s and you might not be a millionaire until you're 50. Like we look at people like Oprah Winfrey in particular, like she didn't get rich in her early 20s and 30s and shit like that. That shit takes time to build wealth.

[Tam Bam]

Right, right.

[AJ Holiday]

So I think everybody is just in the, in the rat race trying to, trying to buy back time. We are all trying to buy back for real. And I think you just gotta work smarter rather than harder. So even if you like, if you work in a 9 to 5 job, you gotta get into investments. Right. I'm not trying to be working at 50.

[Tam Bam]

Me neither.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, I had most of my 30s off. From 33 to 40, I was off, bitch. So now I got to hustle because I'm thinking about if I do have a kid, what am I leaving them?

[Tam Bam]

I just don't know. Like, I ain't never been on.

[AJ Holiday]

When I say off, I mean like off from a traditional.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Because I mean. Yeah, like working for someone.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Else off. Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't really. Got no advice.

[Tam Bam]

No.

[AJ Holiday]

They're still working. I'm still working through the thing. What do we always say? Journal, Write some shit down and maybe you'll, you'll sort them out and list the things from the most important to the least important and then do your best.

[Tam Bam]

First of all, it's just like we're gonna offer bitches they already heard it don't work. Like, oh, put your phone down at night, girl. Fuck you. You know, So I just want to acknowledge that we understand that we're all tired and we're all out here trying to do the best we can with what we got.

[AJ Holiday]

We were not designed to be working like this all day long. Like we supposed to be able to live off the land and she's supposed to be free. They say AI is supposed to offer everybody universal income and nobody's going to have to be working a job because AI going to do it. But what's going to happen is you'll be poor and the people that's currently rich, they'll just continue being is uber rich at that point. So I don't know. You got to make better decisions today so that you are not in this constant like cycle for the rest of your fucking life. Better financial decisions. I don't know, Mary.

[Tam Bam]

Rich bitch. That's my last. Last for today.

[AJ Holiday]

Marry rich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an option.

[Tam Bam]

Take them white girls advice from the beginning of the show and figure it out.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because men are built for this. Like we, we are not. Like, we cannot be in our creative energy working a job all day long. Like, it's just, it doesn't work that way. Yeah. So men are meant for this type of stress. Like, we are stressed because women Sleep more than men. We need more time to do all the things. But anyway, y' all meditate. Okay. Tammy telling me to wrap it up.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y'.

[Tam Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

If you enjoyed this episode, y' all tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever the you get your podcast at. This show, co host AJ Holiday on 2 on Instagrams is AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick it Tam y'.

[Tam Bam]

All. Official tam bam on Instagram, y'. All. Follow me there. I'm going to post new content.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl, my. I was supposed. I was been supposed to like turn my one of the bedroom into like a. A create space when you have time

[Tam Bam]

to do it right.

[AJ Holiday]

And then you gotta create the.

[Tam Bam]

Once you get the space, then you gotta create in that. So there's that, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

We making excuses. Bye.

[Tam Bam]

Wait, follow. We talk back on Instagram. Remember, speak now.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know, man.

[Tam Bam]

Never hold your sleep.

[AJ Holiday]

Get some work.

[Tam Bam]

Yeah. Get some rest.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, man. Deuces We Talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Kel Penn]

Hey, everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Kel Penn]

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[AJ Holiday]

of all your BET favorites. What?

[Tam Bam]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

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[Kel Penn]

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[AJ Holiday]

Paramount plus Subscribe now.

[Kel Penn]

This episode is brought to you by Bobcat. They started the compact equipment industry through grit, determination, and a whole lot of think. We can't do that. Watch us. They set standards, broke records, empowered people to build bigger and higher, to dig deeper, to make the impossible possible. We've all been there with doubters to telling us what we can't do. Who cares what they think? We don't need their permission or forgiveness. We just get things done. So go ahead and doubt me. Judge me, Challenge me. But when the time comes, watch me. Bobcat.

[AJ Holiday]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.